"Okay, that date didn't go very well," Draco said in his mind, he was returning from the muggle world after a horrible experience. Who did the hell care if a cow suffered or not? It was a cow, they were used to give milk and meat and cows had to die at some point, just like any living thing. Does that woman think that the world is going to change if she doesn't eat beef? Did she have to say all those nasty things to him while he ate? He put his eyes white. Muggles and their stupid mentality. "Vegan...vegan my magically royal arse."
He walked and walked along the edge of one of the gardens that led to the great hall and there he met several boys having tea. He looked at the Slytherin table, there was his son talking with other Slytherin boys, the ones from the Quidditch team. About fifteen feet away Albus was flipping through various career choice brochures. He sat down next to Albus so as not to interrupt Scorpius as he finished chatting.
"Still not sure?"
"Something like that. The truth is that no profession attracts my attention." He looked at Scorpius and sighed. "Scor wants to enter wizarding law school."
" He said something, it's true. But there is no reason why they have to study the same."
" No, there isn't... I guess I've become somewhat dependent. What did your wife study? Did you understand each other even if you were doing different things? Didn't you distance yourselves because both were too busy?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"No...well, she didn't do any kind of studies after finishing Hogwarts."
" What? Why?
"Why?... Well, because she was a woman, and she was the youngest in her family, she didn't need to work, she was an heiress, the Greengrass had their own business but Dhapne ran it when she was the eldest and Astoria was practically raised to be a wife. Even so, she worked with my mom in charity work."
" Mistress Malfoy, your mother, did not study anything either?"
"No, she got married right after graduating Hogwarts. And honestly, I don't think her parents would have allowed it."
" Why?"
" Because of the same reasons, she was an heiress with a good dowry, the youngest of the three daughters, the most beautiful, and also she had been engaged to my father, her future was already assured."
" Engaged? Scorpius said that they had married for love."
" They were in love, they got engaged when they were 15 years old but they had known each other since mom was two, and dad was five."
" Wow."
" Yes, also the purebloods are a closed circle, there is not much from were to pick. But like I said, you shouldn't choose your profession just because of Scorpius, you should make the decision based on some very solid reasons. If you want to be a good wizard, you can't go around wasting years of money, magic, time, and brains on something you don't like."
"It's not just that...Mr. Malfoy, I... I love Scorpius..."
"Yeah...well, that's something you should tell him." He said a little awkward. He already knew that but the shock was still strong.
" I like him, I love him and... I want him to give me a reason to continue belonging to this."
" W-What are you talking about? Albus clear yourself up."
"I'm not sure if I want to continue being a wizard..."
"Al... calm down..." He said but Draco was the one feeling distressed.
" The worst thing is that I feel that he won't reciprocate me, I'm terrified of that, because if he says no, then there will be nothing, nothing that I value enough for me to stay here, trying to choose a career that doesn't suit me. Interested, living like a fucking Potter, living like a wizard."
" Why put that in your head? Albus, magic is a great gift." Albus covered his face.
" But I am a terrible and mediocre wizard. I can never be a great wizard, I embarrass everyone, I can't even fly very well. I am not good at potions, nor runes, nor arithmancy, nor astronomy, nor devination, magic is simply not easy to me. If my life choice had nothing to do with magic I would be the happiest man in the world, because I would stop feeling useless."
" Don't say that. Scorpius says that you're great at dueling and that you're great at transformations and that you love magical creatures, you're not too bad. Have you discussed it with your parents at least? Have you discussed it with him?" He said putting his hand on Albus' shoulder, trying to give him support but also to hold on and not fall from the impression that this strong conversation was giving him. A wizard running away from magic.
"I have discussed it with mom. She doesn't agree. She thinks I should only take a year or two before I decide."
" It's not a bad idea..."
" But then I will feel that I am falling behind, like a failure."
"So in order not to feel like a failure, you will run away from magic?"
" It's not about running away from magic...it's about going where I want to go, not where I was supposed to go." Draco looked at him for a long time reflecting on those wise words. "And if he says yes, then I don't know if we'll be happy, because he'll want to continue being a wizard. He is a very proud Malfoy..."
" Do not complicate yourself making hypothetical theories of something that has not happened, of a question that you have not asked, even if he says yes... you already know you wouldn't continue being a magician to please him... Ohh Albus, I look at you and I feel...Merlin, the number of mistakes I would have avoided if I had the same determination as you. Just tell him what you feel, you'll decide the rest from there."
Albus smiled at him sadly.
"I know what he's going to answer. It's just that I like to imagine other answers. I'll do it anyway, I can't live with it on my chest. Thank you." He said, then got up, took his pamphlets and left the great hall.
What was he referring to? Why did he look so negative? It was obvious that his son adored him.
o-o-o-o-o
After a while, his son vacated and after seeing him pensive at the student table, he sat next to him.
"Isn't it a wonderful day?" Scorpius asked his father sitting by his side, Draco looked at him, he got it from his mother, optimistic and cheerful, it was one of the things Draco loved about Astoria but definitely, since Scorpius looked so much like him, It gave him a little displeasure since that phrase would never have come out of his own mouth. Even when Astoria said it, that question always sounded stupid to him. He didn't even straighten up.
"Yeah, I was lost in my thoughts. Are you still thinking about magical law?"
"Yeah, don't you think it would be great to have a Prime Minister named Malfoy?" His son raised his eyebrows several times. Now he did straighten up and looked at his son as if he were a stranger.
" I will support you, unconditionally son. " Was what he said, even without believing it, even without liking the idea.
o-o-o-o-o
On Saturday, as he had already promised and warned the boys, the four of them went to Diagon Alley instead of Hogsmeade. Apparently Albus hadn't said anything to Scorpius yet, they were still having that weird bromance relationship, mixing sweet looks and subtle attentions with shoving, teasing and mild insults. Meanwhile, he was fighting his own war leading Lily by the arm. He felt so nervous that if he hadn't been carrying his father's cane, which always reminded him of how a Malfoy should behave, he would have simply let himself fall into the snow o bury his head out of embarrassment.
What he was feeling was inappropriate, to say the least, but Draco couldn't help but feel it right.
The girl had come up to them in a winter outfit of tall black boots, jacket and long skirt in a dark baby green, like pistachio color, he couldn't say exactly what that color was called, but it contrasted beautifully with her pale skin, rosy cheeks, red hair and red lips. She looked adorable with every single one of her freckles. A porcelain doll.
The boys went with the tailor while he took her to a designer who made all of her mother's dresses. There was a red dress right in the window, it was huge and Victorian style, he thought that maybe the girl would like this a lot, however, she only admired it a little and then went to see the other dresses. An employee, very pretty and sober, approached.
"Mr. Malfoy, what brings you here?" He gestured to Lily, who only then released his arm and stepped forward.
" I come to look for a dress for the Samhain's ball." The woman looked at them strangely, Draco Malfoy with Harry Potter's daughter... but she didn't think too much about it either. A client was a client and Morgana's was a very exclusive fashion house, so the employees had to shut up. So she proceeded to exhibit great mastery in the art of lipping to pay Lily plenty of compliments that weren't lies. Lily was very pretty and it sure was easy to get her dressed.
Pleasant was the moment when, after four dresses that did not fully convince her, the employee showed her a white one, it was very fitted and the fabric was light and soft and in some places like in the legs and the stomach, transparent, making it look like a veil. She had seemed enthusiastic ever since and when she came out of the changing room Draco nearly dropped the cane he had been playing with.
She looked like a fucking forest nymph.
Beautiful, angelic, and dangerous.
She was smiling so much that he smiled back at her too. He wanted to hit the wall, why did she have to be so beautiful?
"Do you like this one?"
"You look beautiful." There was no point in lying, that's how it was. "You should wear that one, it suits you." The employee walked in and almost screamed in wonder.
"You look beautiful. Never has a dress looked so tailored."
" How much does it cost?" she asked embarrassed.
" 20 galleons." Lily looked at her in disbelief.
" I don't know if my father will consent to buy me this dress. Can I reserve it? I need to talk to him first."
"It won't be necessary, Miss Potter. I will pay if necessary."
"But... that's very kind Mr. Malfoy but my father will really be mad if I let you pay." She was being formal. Those formal conversations also gave him a bad feeling, they almost never spoke to each other like that, not for some time, it was as if they were acting, as if they were hiding something.
" Do not worry about that. I'll talk to him. Miss, pack that dress, please." He told the employee.
They left there as they arrived, arm in arm and with an extra bag. Draco didn't quite know how to act at that moment, it was one thing to pay for a restaurant meal like he had done days ago with a muggle stranger, but the last person he bought a dress was his wife.
"Would you like to take a walk down Knocturn Alley?" Lily looked at him.
"I don't know, I would like to, my dad never let me go." Draco smiled.
"You will like it."
Then they crossed a threshold that seemed to have swallowed the light. It didn't look like Diagon Alley at all, it wasn't colorful or busy. The sound of her heels echoed a lot, there were horrible people in some places, they were like gone.
" What's wrong with these people?"
" They... let's say they got carried away a lot by the dark arts."
" If they know they can end up like this, why do they do it?"
" There are many answers in that bottomless barrel Lily." He called her name again, for some reason she began to salivate.
They saw a couple of shops that Lily found most interesting. She even browsed some books. She liked that environment, she felt even more of a witch than she did when she was in the Hogwarts building, she loved that air of mystery. Draco did some ingredient shopping.
" Boabab roots?"
" We need them for a potion."
She smiled.
"Another poison?"
" It's not fatal, it just generates a lot of muscle pain, although even so it doesn't hurt half as much as a crucio hurts."
"Do you like pain, Professor Malfoy?" She said with a voice that was tremendously suggestive. Draco laughed.
"Maybe..." What was he doing? Was he flirting with his student?!
In a small corridor that led to some stairs, just under an arch where little light came from an adjoining business, Lily let go of Draco's arm just as he was about to go down them. Two steps down he was surprised not to feel her and turned to see what had happened. Lily was right there, holding her hands and looking down nervously. After a few seconds, she looked into his eyes and held her teacher's face with her tremendously cold hands.
" It's clear to me that Slytherins are too careful with their feelings, they are too afraid of their own poison. Strange creatures, you snakes." And then she kissed him.
First it was a beak kiss and after two more, he opened his lips a little, letting her enter. What the hell was happening?
Draco didn't know how but he ended up pinning her against one of the walls, throwing the shopping bags down the stairs, and lifting her by the buttocks to be at the same height, she wrapped her legs around his hips, and then yes, they began to kiss desperately while he was sticking his hands up Lily's skirt.
They were practically out of their mind, devouring each other's lips and neck when they heard the bell of the business on the other side ring.
Shit. It was what Draco thought first. They were in a public place. Someone could have seen them, he lowered her leaving her sitting on the floor and ran down the stairs to pick up the things that had been thrown, thanks to Merlin the dress was still inside the box and the boabab root had not been watered. When he looked up, Lily was sitting with her face resting in her hands, smiling, she radiated light.
" Adjust your tie professor, the collar of your shirt is undone." Draco gave her a long look and then blushed like an idiot teenager, with the bags in one hand, he offered the other hand to Lily, who stood up and after brushing the dust off her skirt walked with him towards Diagon Alley.
" Lily, what we did...is not right."
" I will not tell anybody. I know, I suppose that what we have is impossible but...it feels good and I'm not going to avoid it, I want to live it, I don't care if it's in secret, so don't you dare be a coward now, because after how you've kissed there is no going back."
"Merlin..."
"I too would have liked to let it go. Sorry, I have Gryffindor guts..."
