Chapter 8
Cat's POV
Thankfully it was a slow day at the hospital, only two surgeries scheduled and both were clipping aneurysms. Most of Cat's day was spent in the lab finishing up the last of her paperwork before concluding her Alzheimer's trial. She was sad to finish it up, but she had made some serious progress on discovering the causes and slowing down the effects of the disease in a few of her older patients. Hopefully her research would help the new trial being started by one of her old professors up in Massachusetts. Besides, this opened up some more of her time to start on a new trial. She had started to look into trials and research done on Schizophrenia. Spencer had talked about wanting to beat the disease, and while she wasn't sure she could do that, it didn't mean she couldn't try and ask him to help out.
No, don't think about Spencer. He's getting suspicious. You can't let him get too close, Cat thought to herself. This was what she was afraid of, finding someone she actually liked, who understood her. She had let herself open up to him and then messed it all up. Of course he would want to know about her past. Of course he would care. He was a good guy and he wanted to help.
But there was nothing he could do. The best agents had tried and all had failed to find him. He was too clever, too organized, and too evil. His voice still haunted her in her sleep, "Come out, come out, wherever you are."
The memory sent a shiver down Cat's spine. Shaking her head to diffuse any remnants of that gravelly voice, she continued walking down the hospital hallway to patient room 234. Her first surgery of the day was on 15 year old Noel Long; she had come in two days ago after a fall from her bike had caused a seizure. Cat located the aneurysm during Noel's head CT when she came into the ER and had originally scheduled the surgery for yesterday until a huge car accident had caused everything to be moved back. Thankfully the girl's aneurysm was in no immediate danger of bursting so the family was understanding when the surgery got moved.
"How's my favorite biker doing?" Cat said as she entered the room with a few nurses who would get Noel prepped for surgery.
"I'm not a biker, Dr. Grant," Noel answered with a laugh and small shake of her head. Noel's parents were sitting on either side of her bed and the smiled as Cat came up to the right side of the bed as well.
"But I thought you were riding a bike a few days ago?"
"Well, yes."
"Then you are a biker."
"Fine, but I'm not one of those scary people who ride motorcycles across the country," Noel leaned back on her pillow, her blonde hair spreading everywhere.
"I never said you rode a motorcycle, don't change any details of your daring adventures on me. I might be a little more worried about your brain then," Cat pressed a few buttons on her monitor to make sure all stats were in good ranges for surgery. Everything seemed to check out so she nodded to the nurses to start setting up the bed for transport. "At this rate of confusion you might stay here longer."
"No! My race is in a month and you said I would be ready!"
"Then go along with my jokes, I'm only messing with you sweetie."
"Not funny. Am I going to head down to surgery today? No more car accidents?" Noel looked up at Cat hopefully, her parents matching her expression.
"I have no control over those but I promise you are my top priority today," Cat smiled at each of them. "Now, we should be taking you down to surgery soon so tell your parents you love them and I'll get everything ready for you."
"Yay! Love you mom, love you dad! Can we go?" Cat laughed at the young teen's excitement for surgery. She could never understand some of these kid's dedication to sports.
"Are we all ready here?" Savannah Hayes walked in, scrubs and cap all set up. As her closest friend and one of the best nurses in the hospital, Cat had requested her for this surgery to keep her company. She also knew how much Savannah loved working with kids.
"We are indeed, can you get our patient down to the OR?"
"Of course. Thank you Dr. Grant," Savannah smiled and helped the other nurses wheel Noel out of the room.
"Alright, you both can head down to the waiting room and I will update you after we're done. The surgery should take about three hours if everything goes well," Cat turned to Noel's parents, both of them looking happy and worried.
"Thank you for helping our baby," Mrs. Long hugged her. She was good with family members of her patients but never got used to them hugging her. It still felt uncomfortable when she didn't know them well. Mr. Long gently tugged on his wife's shoulder and they both headed out to go to the waiting room.
"So Dr. Grant, my boyfriend tells me you've become very good friends with one of his colleagues," Savannah changed the topic of conversation about an hour into surgery. Usually the OR team absent mindedly discussed recent movies or news, sometimes even hospital gossip, but Cat was not used to her own life being a topic.
"I don't see how that's relevant to Iron Man 3," Cat replied as she put the retractors in place to expose a corridor between the brain and skull.
"It's not but I want to know how Dr. Reid is doing."
Cat looked up to meet Savannah's eyes, a mischievous gleam in them. A few of the other nurses and doctors were looking over at her curiously, most likely because they were just as curious as Savannah. Everyone wanted to know about her life that she had kept so private.
"He's good, I met him for coffee this morning but I needed to leave early." She would not give them the pleasure of hearing every little detail of her private life.
"Early? This is one of two surgeries you have today! What could possibly make you leave early?"
"He was being irritating." She found the artery she needed and followed it to the aneurysm.
"Yep, sounds like Spencer…" just from her voice Cat knew Savannah was rolling her eyes, this made her smile a bit behind her mask. "But from what he's told Derek he seems to really like you. Once you get past his little quirks he is actually very sweet."
"I'm sure he is, but if he would stop asking so many questions that don't need to be answered, I might stay longer for coffee. That would be a lot nicer."
"He's just being friendly, that's a big step for him. And it would be a big step for you if you answer those questions of his."
"Thank you for the advice, Nurse Hayes. I will take that into consideration next time he asks me something." There it is, now all she needed to do was clip it.
"Maybe the two of you could join us for dinner sometime."
Cat looked up at Savannah quickly before she pushed all her focus on clipping the aneurysm. She waited until it was secure before figuring out how to respond to the request.
"I don't know, Spencer and I are not dating. We've just been meeting for coffee every morning because we happen to be in the same place at the same time."
"And like the same books, and be geniuses, and love your jobs more than life itself," Savannah's comments caused the rest of the OR team to quickly giggle. Even caught silently laughed at the last part.
I guess it wouldn't hurt, maybe Savannah and Derek would be too focused on Spencer for him to ask any more deep questions.
"I'll think about it. But if I say yes, you both have to remember it's not a double date. Just four friends meeting for dinner."
"Of course, of course." She could tell Savannah had the biggest grin on her face underneath her mask.
"Clip is placed. Let's make sure it is secure and then we can begin to close. Get the titanium plates and screws ready, needle is going in."
Cat was ready for bed as soon as she got home. Even though the rest of Noel's surgery went perfectly well and her second surgery was just as uneventful, it still felt like she had done ten surgeries. Maybe it was the stress of Savannah's interrogation about Spencer. Keeping her face neutral and emotions in check was a lot harder than she would have thought. She had done her hardest to not develop feelings for the awkward genius but he was just too cute and too sweet. He cared about her and it had been so long since she had had anyone in her life besides Rosie and Michael. What harm could it do to have someone else in her life?
No, he'll only end up getting hurt. That's why you decided to be alone.
"He can't know," Cat tried to assure herself she was making the right choice. She was starting to accept it as she settled down on her couch with a bowl of Mac n Cheese. She looked around her living room, a homey room in her apartment. She lived about half an hour from the hospital on the third floor of an older building. It was small but it was home. Turning on Netflix, she let out a relaxed sigh and scrolled through her movie list. After a long day, she decided on one of her favorites, Lilo and Stitch. Nothing could beat a classic Disney movie.
But her relaxing movie night was interrupted by a knock on the front door of her apartment. Cat set down her bowl and took off the blanket she had snuggled into. Standing on her tiptoes, she peered through the peep hole and was surprised to see Spencer Reid standing on the other side of the door.
"Spencer? What are you doing here?" She asked as she opened the door enough to peer out but not enough so he could see inside.
"I wanted to apologize. I was rude and insensitive today and I pushed you away when we were finally starting to make progress in our friendship. Please, I want you in my life but I know how hard it must be for you to let people in. You've had heartbreak in your life, you've gotten hurt. I promise I won't be another one," Spencer was speaking faster than she had ever heard him, his eyes sincere as he pleaded for her to understand his apology.
"Spencer, I just don't want you to get hurt. There's a lot about me you don't know, that you can never know. I care too much about you for you to put yourself in danger. I'm sorry," it hurt her to push him away after he came all this way to apologize, but she knew the risks letting him in would cause.
"Cat I don't care about that," he started to move closer but Cat closed the door a little more making him stop in place. "I put myself in danger every time I go out on a case. I face serial killers on an almost daily basis. I've had a drug addiction because of one; another one shot me in the knee. I watched my girlfriend get shot and killed in front of me by a crazy stalker. I know you think you're protecting me but you're not. It hurts me to have you shut me out. I want to help, I want to be there for any hurt that you have. Whatever you're afraid of, I'll help you fight it. You just have to let me in. And it doesn't have to be right now. Whenever you're ready, I will be there. It could be in an hour, or tomorrow, or even a month from now. But I will be here for you to help you get through it."
Spencer gave her one last smile before he turned around and walked down the stairs of her building. Cat was too shocked to go after him. After everything, that was the last thing she ever expected to hear from anyone. His speech left her so many emotions she couldn't sort through them all. When she could no longer hear his footsteps on the stairs she closed the door and turned around with her back on the door. Sinking to the floor, Cat did something she hadn't done in 16 years. She cried.
