Chapter 3: Duel with the Dullahan
The next few days seemed uneventful to both The Slayer and the party that he had found himself in. Other than the mob of people that were at first excited and curious of the mysterious stranger that had appeared in the quiet little town. Aqua felt like she had to fend them off with a stick until a single ominous glare from the Hellwalker had essentially silenced them all. He didn't know what compelled him to remain with these people. Perhaps it was the familiarity that the blue-haired self-proclaimed goddess had for him. Even if it meant staying at a horse stable. It actually felt nostalgic to him, reminiscent of his first few days on Argent D'Nur.
There was also the brunette boy to keep in mind, he had come to discover that that he had come from Earth as well.
Well… AN Earth. Not his own since the people there still regard demons as a work of fiction alongside space travel and stations on Mars. From what he and Aqua told him, his world was barely beginning its 21th century.
This put The Slayer somewhat at ease. It just meant that the boy's home was nowhere near at risk of a possible demonic invasion. After hearing this, the Slayer was set in an odd state of calm. He did know that, despite the fact that they may not have originated from the Hell he had come to know and hate with a burning passion, there were demons and beasts said to be inhabiting this world.
At the mention of a "Devil King", or Demon Lord as he was also regarded as, he immediately perked up. He looked towards the duo expectantly. That was until…
"I think he's already set to go to this Devil King and, you know…", whispered Kazuma to Aqua before making a slicing motion across his neck.
"Oh of course! The way to the Devil King is just… is just… uhhh…", said Aqua before she began trailing off. An incredulous look came before her, as if she just realized something blatantly obvious that she had overlooked.
Kazuma just stared at her dumbfounded. "You don't know where the guy is, do you?", he asked flatly.
"I THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHERE HE WAS!!! YOU SAID THIS WAS THE FURTHEST TOWN FROM HIS KINGDOM!!!", he shouted in a panicked tone at her. The blue-haired Archpriest began tearing up from such an obvious mistake. "I ONLY GLANCED AT A MAP BEFORE YOU DRAGGED ME HERE. I WASN'T GONNA DROP YOU OFF IN SOME HIGH LEVEL AREA! AND EVEN THEN NO ONE HERE IS BRAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN POINT OUT THE DIRECTION OF THE DEVIL KING'S KINGDOM! I KNOW! I'VE TRIED!!!", she responded.
With an overall lack of direction, the Slayer silently decided to remain where he was with this group. There had been a drawl of missions that had caused plenty of adventurers to seek missions and objectives elsewhere.
On some days, Kazuma would go and accompany that strange mage girl Megumin, assisting her to some practice. The blond knight that referred to herself as Darkness would decide to return to her family for a time. As everyone else went into some form of routine, the Slayer essentially found himself performing laborious tasks alongside Aqua which had garnered more attention from his incredible strength, managing to lift enough bricks to form their own house single-handedly.
Eventually, all of the party members desire for an adventure would soon be fulfilled. It was a bright day like any other as Kazuma looked down on Aqua, still in her pajamas and asleep on a pile of hay from within their horse stable.
The Slayer peeked in on the two and saw for himself that despite claiming to be a goddess, her more "un-goddess like" nature was made clear from her more graceless position.
And the drool. The drool was not helping her case.
"Dammit, we're gonna be late and here she is sleeping in again. Divine my ass.", said Kazuma. He then turned towards the Slayer. "Hey, you think you can get her up? I've already tried shaking her and shouting her name."
The Slayer scratched his chin for a moment before holding up a pointer finger as if to say he had an idea. He pointed to the young adventurer and then held both sides of his helmeted head.
"Huh? You want me to… cover my ears?", he asked, slightly unsure where the Slayer was going with this. The armored Goliath merely nodded at the boy's response.
He then brought out his Super Shotgun from his quantum hammer-space inventory, making sure it was locked and loaded.
"Oo~h, okay.", Kazuma replied, staring to see where this was going. He then covered his ears and gave a stalwart nod of approval to which the Slayer replied with a single thumbs-up with his free hand. He then aimed his weapon upwards towards the ceiling and pulled the trigger.
(BANG)
"AAAAAAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!"
Aqua's panicked scream could be heard from outside of the horse stables. Had the stables been full, they would have been immediately filled with frightened horses and one freaked-out(but also awake) goddess of water.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!? WHAT KIND OF WAKE-UP CALL IS THAT!?! DON'T YOU KNOW A GODDESS SUCH AS MYSELF NEEDS HER BEAUTY SLEEP!?!!?", the cranky archpriest cried at the Slayer, pounding her little fists on the giant's armored chest. It was as effective as a tick nibbling on the hide of a wolf: a mild and almost unnoticeable action that was reciprocated with a blank stare from the Slayer.
Her focus then turned toward her party-member who just stood with a lazy stare at the tantrum-throwing goddess.
"AND YOU! HOW COULD YOU JUST STAND THERE AND LET HIM DO THAT!? I THOUGHT WE WERE A TEAM, KAZUMA!"
"It's not like I would've been able to stop him if I tried. At least you're awake now.", Kazuma replied flatly.
Aqua knew he had a point there. There was nothing he physically could've been able to do to stop the Slayer, she wasn't even sure if she could do anything in his position. The still-frazzled archpriest merely huffed to herself.
"Besides, I'm the one who asked him to wake you up since nothing I did worked.", Kazuma said calmly, bringing Aqua practically to tears.
"YOUR'E SO MEAN! HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DO THAAAAT!!??!?!"
Aqua basically whined as she changed, crying all the way to the Adventurer's Guild where Megumin and Darkness were waiting for the three. She managed to gain their sympathy, something that Kazuma noticed was purely intentional on the goddess's part after seeing her check while the duo's backs were turned.
"That little faker.", he thought to himself before turning towards the Slayer who just stood there watching things unfold.
"I doubt I'll be able to get him to vocally agree with me and share my side of the story. He's really committed to this brooding silent stereotype.", Kazuma noted internally, already dreading with having to put up with more of Aqua's antics with their newest party member being absolutely of no help whatsoever. It was clear that he couldn't care less.
It was then that Luna made an announcement towards everyone inside.
"Attention, we have an emergency! We need all able-bodied adventurers at the front gates!"
This got everyone's attention and soon, the 5-member party were headed towards the front gate. During his time in the quiet town, the Slayer had found it odd that a giant stone wall had surrounded said town. He deduced that it could only mean that there were giant and powerful monsters that demanded such walls to be built in the first place to ensure its continued bliss. He'd been meaning to get a workout in sometime soon but with the absolute lack of missions it didn't seem likely. The rest of the members might've wanted a quest for the money but he would've done it for free if it meant killing some bloodthirsty creature and satiating his own bloodlust.
As the adventurers gathered in front of the entrance, storm clouds thundered as before the crowd off in the distance on a small hill stood an armored horseman atop his steed.
That might've seemed like an ordinary sight to the Slayer had he not looked closer and noticed that the horse the armored man was on was currently headless. Its rider also appeared to be without a head, instead cradled within his free arm while the other gripped the reigns of his steed tightly. From the menacing aura the rider gave off and the frightened onlookers, the Slayer could tell that this was a powerful and dangerous enemy.
"Is that a Dullahan?", questioned Darkness aloud. The Slayer overheard the knight's question, looking towards her before turning his focus back at the ominous figure. At least the Slayer had a name for this thing now. The rider then announced itself.
"I am one of the Devil King's generals. And every day, every single day, EVERY GODDAMN DAY! ONE OF YOU MANIACS HURLS EXPLOSION SPELLS AT MY CASTLE AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO! IT! IS!!!"
The crowd soon grew worried over the clearly pissed off general to the point where many were turning to one another, wondering who could've angered it so. For two particular individuals however, they already knew of the perpetrator, who was already sweating bullets.
The Slayer was done wasting time. There was a threat and he was gonna do what he did best. Slowly he began walking up towards the ghastly general with the crowd behind him in mixed parts astonishment and pity.
"What the hell is he doing?"
"Did he cast those explosion spells?"
"Can't be! I was there when he first registered and his magic affinity is supposed to be terrible!"
"This guy's definitely got some kind of death wish!"
"Is he really gonna try to fight him all on his own?"
"I can't watch!!!"
"Poor guy, he's gonna get himself killed."
"And he was so hot too! Why do the hot ones have to be so clueless!?!?"
Megumin was taken aback by the metal man's gesture. "Is he going to fight him to protect ME!?", she thought nervously to herself. "He's risking his own life to protect mine and everyone else's while I'm standing here out of sight…"
The Slayer soon stood a fair distance from the Dullahan. The two gave each other a demonic stare, each sizing up their potential prey.
"You, you're the one who's been casting all of those blasted Explosion spells?!", the sorta headless horseman asked. The Hellwalker merely shook his head in response.
"No? Then why step forth? Unless… you know the identity of the perpetrator. Is that correct?" To this, the metal monolith nodded.
"Very well, if you are willing to bring forth or at least point out the one who has been the cause of all of those unsolicited attacks, then I shall spare you and the rest of those weaklings. They were never even worth tormenting in the first place, hence why I had let them be since my arrival at that nearby castle."
The Unchained Predator remained silent, standing and staring down the Dullahan. He then brought out his Super Shotgun and cocked the barrel, letting the horseman know he meant business.
"Oh? So THAT is what you had in mind? You come to face me not with surrender but with nobility, willing to put down your life for that mad bomber. Then you will suffer for their transgressions!", shouted the angered armored horseman.
He didn't recognize the weapon in this man's hand(perhaps some kind of fancy crossbow) but he didn't care. The message was clear. If he wanted a fight then it'll be his last.
"WAIT!!!", a voice rang out amongst the building tension in the air. A single arch-wizard had also stepped forth and soon walked towards the Slayer's side. The Beast turned his head towards the young spell-caster with curiosity and an unseen arched eyebrow. Was she really going to be interrupting at a time like this?
She then turned toward the Slayer before facing the headless rider, "I appreciate the gesture of hiding my identity, but I could never call myself a Crimson Demon if I allowed myself to remain in the shadows."
To this, the Slayer tilted his head to the side in confusion. What did she mean 'hiding her identity'? The Dullahan was clearly an evil demonic entity and he was just going about to attack it before she stepped forth.
"My name is Megumin! I am a master and practitioner of Explosion magic!", she proclaimed proudly.
After a moment of awkward silence, the Dullahan merely asked, "What's a Megumin?"
He then got back on track with the interrogation.
"So… YOUR'E the one whose been hurling those explosion spells at my castle! I've had my patience run thin so I'll only say this once: cease your explosions at once you madwoman or you shall suffer! In my former life I was a chivalrous knight that would never kill someone weaker than myself but now I will not hesitate to do so."
"I will do no such thing! M'lady!", Megumin rebuked, calling out to Aqua.
The blue-haired goddess ran to her side as she summoned her own divine staff. She was well and ready to deal with any creepy undead and send it packing back to the grave it crawled out from.
The Dullahan had had enough.
"Then in seven days…", he said, raising a hand crackling with dark magic.
"You. Shall. Die."
The spell was cast with Megumin right in its crosshairs. The arch wizard was paralyzed with fear. The Slayer was about to push her out of harm's way until he noticed someone else taking action.
From out of nowhere, Darkness leapt forth and took the hit, arms spread open and acting as a human shield.
"Oh crap, he put a death curse on her!", said a panicked Kazuma as he raced to join his fellow party members.
"Hmm. Now that I think about it, this might actually be more preferable. It's clear how close of a bond you share with one another. Now you'll be left to watch as your comrade slowly suffers until her eventual death. If you wish for me to lift the curse, come to my castle where I and an army of undead soldiers await. Don't, and you'll be wrought with the guilt of knowing that her demise was all your fault!", gloated the Dullahan, satisfied with this outcome.
Darkness could already feel the cold hands of Death grasping her very soul…
…and it was exhilarating.
"Kazuma! Tell me… what do you think he'll do to me next!", she asked the shut-in at her side, who was clearly not expecting such an answer like this at this time.
"Casting a curse on me won't satiate you, you fiend! I can already tell you wish to defile me!", she yelled, accusing the clearly confused Dullahan with a ragged breath.
"What?", was all he could muster to reply.
"You wish to ravage me, have all kinds of unspeakable lewd act committed to me. Have me as your personal sex slave!", she continued, leaving her party members, the adventurers and even the Dullahan without words and slightly embarrassed(aside from The Slayer, who just watched to see how long this would drone on).
It soon got to the point where Kazuma had to restrain Darkness. Not just in fear of what the Dullahan could do to her, but of what she could scare the Dullahan into doing to her. The General was already getting uncomfortable from the whole situation and was beginning to take his leave when the Slayer finally decided that was his cue to act.
The Female Knight felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she and Kazuma saw the visored visage of the Doom Slayer that had done so, the gesture itself basically his way of saying he'll take things from here. Darkness understood the gesture and, against her own desires, decided to step aside and give the Slayer a wide berth and allow him to do…
…whatever it was he was going to do. Kazuma held his hands up and backed away, not wanting to get involved any further.
"What do you think you're doing? If you think you can stand in the way of unleashing my vengeance, then you-", the Dullahan began until he was suddenly cut off.
In an instant, the Slayer used his dashes to zip straight towards the horseman general, yank his helmeted head out of his hands, then dashed right back. The action was so sudden it took the headless steed by surprise, startling the creature and making it buck, causing its rider to fall off, and finally making the creature flee in fright.
"Gah! What the-? How the-?!"
The Dullahan was left completely confounded, with the party members behind the Slayer left blinking at what just happened. They had no clue that the man was capable of such speed.
"What are you- UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT!!!!", the head of the Dullahan screamed from the grip of the Hellwalker.
"Who do you think you are?! Release me this instant or you will suffer the consequences!", the head commanded, his distant body angrily shaking his fist in the air as his other hand was seen going for the massive sword in its sheath at his waist.
The Slayer then set down the angry head on the grassy terrain and aimed his shoulder cannon at the body, firing an ice grenade at the headless figure. The ensuing blast soon froze the general solid, causing him to go completely rigid. Crisp white frost coated the Dullahan's armored body instantly.
"What was that? Some kind of Freeze spell?", the blond crusader asked out loud.
"I-I don't know…I've never seen a Freeze spell casted like that before!", answered Megumin. She clutched her staff with both hands from sheer awe and wonder. The crowd before them fared no better.
"It looked like he casted a Freeze spell on the Dullahan! But this guy's supposed to be terrible with magic!", one warrior questioned.
"It looked like it came from that thing on his shoulder! His armor must be enchanted!", an archer reasoned.
"So that's why he was so fast before! I swear, I don't think I would've even seen him move if I blinked just then!", a female mage exclaimed.
"That armor's badass! I wonder where I can get me one of those?", a bushy-bearded knight asked earnestly.
"Somehow, I don't think getting enchanted armor like that guy's is gonna be a walk in the park. Who knows how much he had to pay or kill to get it.", a male priest reasoned.
The head of the Dullahan then took this moment to gloat of such an obvious move to buy time. "Ha! Do you really think your simple Freeze spell can hold me forever!? YOU FOOLS!!! No amount of ice magic shall keep me restrained for long! And once I am free in mere seconds, YOU SHALL-wait, what are you doing?"
True, the ice grenade would only keep most demons frozen for a good couple of seconds before it thawed and those hell spawn were mobile again. Fortunately, those few seconds should be just enough as the Slayer treaded towards the inert body. Once he stood in front of the frozen figure, he grabbed ahold of it with one hand by a shoulder and the other by a leg. He hoisted the whole body above his head and turned to face everyone…
…where he then immediately SLAMMED THE FROZEN BODY TO THE GROUND WITH ALL HIS STRENGTH, CAUSING THE ARMORED HEADLESS BODY TO SHATTER INTO PIECES!!!
Flecks of what was once the body of the Dullahan speckled off of the Slayer's visored helmet. Since he didn't come straight from Hell and thus wasn't a pureblooded demon, the Slayer wanted to see just how effective the ice grenade would really be on something like the Dullahan.
Clearly, it was extremely effective and he was satisfied with the results.
Everyone in the area was practically shell-shocked at what they had just seen, already the thoughts of the mystery warrior's speed and magic capabilities now completely forgotten as this new feat had made itself home in their memory. Jaws were left agape left and right. Had the Dullahan himself had one, it too would be in the same condition as everyone in attendance.
The Slayer peered down at the fractured frozen remains filling the crater in the ground made from the brute force. His head then snapped up towards the head of the Dullahan.
The lone head flinched as the Slayer then stomped back towards the helmet, a clear murderous aura emanating from the bane of Hell.
"H-he-hey, wait! Let's talk about this, okay? We can talk, right?!", reasoned the Dullahan. Unfortunately for him, the Slayer was never really much of a talker. He was a man of action. He picked up the head in one hand and adamantly pointed at Darkness with the other.
"Y-y-you wish for me to remove my curse from that knight maiden? Well… as much as I'd like to, you destroyed my body. I can't cast any spell without it, let alone undo one. Honest!"
The Slayer faced down for a moment, thinking to himself before setting the Dullahan's head back on the grassy ground. He then pointed to Darkness again, only this time waving her over after.
"Y-you require MY assistance?! Oh… um, of course!", the blonde crusader obliged, rushing to the Slayer's side to aid him in whatever task he required of her.
The Slayer kneeled down and made a lowering motion with his hand, asking the female knight to do the same. Once rested on her knees, the armored Goliath then held out one hand towards her while holding down the Dullahan's head with the other.
"You wish for me to… hold him up?", asked Darkness, to which the Slayer nodded in response. He then adjusted the knight's hand so that the helmet was propped up and balanced on by the chin, a single finger from the crusader holding it in place. The Slayer then stood up and held up both of his hands as if asking her to "stay", and then began trudging away, past a just as confused Megumin, Kazuma, and Aqua and back towards the entrance.
"Is that it?! Is he just… LEAVING?!", all four party members thought to themselves incredulously. "H-he-hey! Where is he going? You're not leaving me like this, are you?!", the Dullahan cried out, eager for some kind of response.
The crowd at the front gate were just as befuddled at the Slayer's strange decision. After destroying the body of such a powerful foe like a general to the Devil King, nobody could understand why the mute brute would choose to then just walk away. Once he stood before the adventurers, they could only stare and mutter their opinions.
"That's it?"
"Gotta admit, it was pretty badass what he just did. But it also feels really abrupt to leave it off there."
"Yeah, that was pretty… anticlimactic actually."
While everyone had been left initially dumbfounded by the Slayer's strength, they were only left wondering what his next move would be. He then immediately turned and faced back towards where he had left the four adventurers and the captive head. He held up two hands as if finding the correct angle at the four adventurers in the distance in his view, for his next move.
The brute then got into a running position like the starting pose of a relay race before taking off, the force kicking up a cloud of dust and blasting the crowd with wind. The crowd soon astounded yet again as some general idea was beginning to form.
"NO WAY! DID HE JUST COME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE… FOR A RUNNING START!?!", everyone cried out, either out loud or internally.
Kazuma was already two steps ahead of what the Slayer could be planning and asked Aqua in a shaky tone, who stood beside him with a bleak look in her eyes.
"H-h-hey Aqua, quick question. Going off of those names that popped up in his registration card, the Slayer wouldn't happen to be American, would he?"
"I-I-in m-mo-most stories, yeah. How'd you know?", the quivering goddess replied. Even she was beginning to get an idea on what the Slayer was attempting.
Both of them remember catching a glimpse of and being aware of it, whether it was the water goddess overseeing Kazuma's Earth or the shut-in once occasionally finding footage of the game played online (without intentionally seeking it of course, he was never a fan of physical activities like sports) during his many many many hours inside his home in the dark.
Whichever the reason, both knew of American Football.
And as he rushed back towards the head of the Dullahan like a speeding locomotive, the Slayer apparently did too.
In the mere seconds where he saw the armored man charging at him like a raging bull, the Dullahan immediately began to break down into hysterics. Whatever he was about to do, the idea of getting a running start to do it was NOT a good sign.
"Hold on waitwaitwaitwaitwait! I can't help your friend but I can offer you other things! Information on other generals! Locations and weaknesses on the Devil King's many strongholds! That's right! I'll even forsake the Devil King himself! I'LL RENOUNCE HIM ALL TO AID YOU IN YOUR NOBLE QUEST TO-!!!"
Time itself seemed to slow down once the Slayer was a mere meter away from the metal head. Instead of stopping or stomping on the Dullahan like he assumed, the Hellwalker aimed his massive armored leg towards the helmet and reared back after taking one more final step.
To the outside world it may have been an instant, but to the demonic general it was an eternity as the toe of silent warrior's metal boot finally connected to his face. Luckily, Darkness released her hold on the helmeted head once the Slayer unleashed a mighty kick.
"WWWRRRYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGggggggghhhhh!!!!!", screamed the Dullahan as he was sent hurtling into the sky.
The kick itself didn't just send the helmet flying but managed to break the sound barrier itself as a huge gust of wind rippled across the field, with Darkness and Kazuma shielding themselves with their arms and Megumin and Aqua clinging to both of their staffs and hat respectively. Even the crowd of adventurers took cover from the raw power.
After a few seconds of stunned silence from everyone(minus the Slayer, who merely watched to see the head fade from view with his routinely form of silence), the Hellwalker merely turned around and held up both of his arms like a referee clearing a field goal.
It's good!
For some reason, this gesture seemed to be read as a signal for everyone to cheer. Which the adventurers promptly did, whooping and jumping with joy.
Kazuma and Aqua blanched, knowing the actual meaning of the gesture.
Both Megumin and Darkness were stunned silent at the recent feat performed in front of them, Darkness especially.
"Such strength… and to be willing to dispose of his opponent in such a brutal and disrespectful manor… he's… he's… HE'S INCREDIBLE!!!"
The crusader's face grew red as a massive grin widened on her face. To say she had developed a crush on their newest party member would be an understatement as she stared dreamily at the armored warrior.
Megumin, while amazed, was also slightly disappointed in basically having her thunder stolen. She also couldn't help feeling guilty for her teammates' ailment since that was technically on her. Kazuma noticed this and patted her on the shoulder.
"Hey, don't worry. We've got a week to find a cure so hopefully-"
"Sacred Dispel!", Aqua cried out, twirling her Priest Staff and casting a spell onto the female knight.
The crusader suddenly felt herself bathed in divine light. It was a shock at first, but eventually gave way to great relief as she felt cherubs sent from Heaven above lift the death curse of her shoulders.
"Huh?", both Megumin and Kazuma asked in confusion.
"For me, lifting some old Dullahan death curse is child's play.", Aqua replied cheekily.
The Slayer's kick held so much force that he had left a really nasty dent on the side of the Dullahan's helmet, but right now that was the least of his worries.
The force behind that kick was so immensely great that the Dullahan eventually found himself floating in the planet's stratosphere. The blue sky had faded away as he gazed at the star-scattered pitch black that now surrounded him, the massive blue and green sphere now beneath him.
He could now only drift helplessly, thinking and plotting acts of revenge against both the Crimson Demon girl and the armored man that had sent him hurtling towards the heavens.
Of course, if he could find a way down first.
Once everyone had returned inside the walls of the town, all of the adventurers soon returned to the guild to celebrate the Dullahan's defeat.
There, everyone partied and enjoyed themselves with smiles and cheers decorating the great space. Overflowing mugs were hoisted in the air as toasts were made, people danced and hollowed as spirits were on an all time high.
"Nature's Beauty of victory!", proclaimed the water goddess as she entertained the partygoers. Aqua reveled in the attention as she used her water-making spell as a party trick.
Even the Slayer was eventually goaded into such acts of amusement after a few brawny brutes had themselves a good-natured contest of strength by lifting up beautiful maidens and female adventurers in their arms. One man carried one girl on each of his shoulders while another had a pair on each of his.
After enough pestering, the Slayer soon folded if it meant silencing the men without harming them. He trudged over towards two tables where they each had two long full benches. Here, rows of women were seated shoulder to shoulder. The Slayer crouched down, reached under and soon hoisted both full benches under his shoulders before standing back up.
The room erupted into cheer at the act as the jovial mood continued.l and the party raged on. Meanwhile Kazuma tried his own hand at a "party trick", holding out his hand as he performed one of the only spells he knows.
"STEAAAAALLL!!!!", he yelled out. His eyes soon locked onto his target as he smiled devilishly, feeling a familiar cloth manifesting in his gripped hand. The thief girl Kris, on the other hand, immediately began to blush and clutched her crotch upon the realizing the horrible déjà vu.
"Not again! Gimme back my panties!!!", the thief girl cried out with tears in her eyes, hand outstretched at the perverted adventurer. She really regretted teaching him that spell. She wouldn't have done so if she knew he'd be capable of doing this. He was soon laughing maniacally, waving around his newest prize without any shame.
That was until…
"HAHAHAHAHA-GACK!!!"
The Slayer had noticed Kazuma's antics and immediately stomped over behind the boy. He was so enthralled that he never even noticed when the armored giant lumbered up behind him, raised his hand and gave a solid chop to the top of his head. He made sure to hold back, not enough force to split his skull in two but just enough to render the perv unconscious as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and collapsed to the floor.
The Slayer then extended his wrist-blade and used it to pick up the undergarment that had fallen to the floor beside him. With a quick jab, he procured the panties and stomped towards the thief girl where he held them out towards her.
"Oh…um… thanks, I guess.", Kris said awkwardly, not knowing what to make of the situation. Unfortunately, the Slayer had underestimated how much the cloth would stand under the sharpness of a blade forged to pierce through the hide of a demon, to cut through demon flesh like butter.
Just as the thief girl was about to take back what was hers, the panties then fell into her open hands, cleaved cleanly in two from the blade alone. Kris looked like she was about to start crying again.
Normally Luna prohibited any violence in her guild. But here, she was willing to make an exception and turn a blind eye.
"Huh, at least the Slayer has some manners.", said Aqua, chuckling nervously while also contemplating her life choices since learning the Slayer's story.
"Well, I guess it's the thought that counts?", said Megumin, secretly counting her own blessings that Kazuma hadn't targeted herself.
Once the four party members sat down at a table(technically five since the Slayer dragged and propped up Kazuma's limp body on a seat), they began to discuss today's events.
"So do you believe we've seen the last of the Dullahan?", asked Darkness. If it wasn't, she was eager to see him return. Hopefully with all kinds of creatures ready to ravage her as backup. The thought brought a blush to her cheeks.
"I don't know, the Slayer here did kick him pretty hard. And even then, he's just a head now so I don't really think he can pose any threat.", said Megumin.
"Even if he did survive, I don't think we'll be seeing that spooky helmet without a suit for a loooong time.", Aqua said smugly, content with today's events.
In the village of the Crimson Demons, a small brown-haired pigtailed girl looked up at the night sky in wonder.
"Mama! There's a shooting star!", the girl cried out with a smile towards the open patio door where her parents resided after a long day at their shop.
"Hurry and make a wish! That's the rule with shooting stars.", the mother called out.
The little girl then closed her eyes and scrunched her face as she wished with all her might.
"I wish that big sis Megumin will become a really strong and powerful arch wizard the next time she visits us! And that she comes home and sees us soon!", the child cried out.
"If she did, hopefully she'll have a lovely man at her side.", the mother chuckled.
"Gah! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!?!", her husband yelled to her as she continued to wistfully dream on the idea.
The small girl continued to stare at the shooting star at the sky, her grin wide and eyes completely mesmerized, until eventually her mother called her back inside for bed.
"GYYYYAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!", the helmeted head of the Dullahan screamed in agony as he plummeted back to the planet in a burning ball of fire.
Whatever momentary bliss there was to be had while drifting in space was soon lost once gravity had taken hold of the Dullahan. His helmet soon glowed red hot and picked up speed upon a fiery reentry.
Author's Note:
For those of you wondering, no there won't be any Hell invasion in this story. That'll be for another future DOOM crossover story. This is just meant to be a little more lighthearted and humorous. Basically the Doom Slayer making the situations in Konosuba funny in his own way.
If you want an idea of what that future story could be, I've mentioned it at the end of the 9th chapter of my other story, The Executive Reports: MHA Reacts to Miscellaneous Movies. Or you can just check my bio for a synopsis.
