Chapter 38

Training and Coming Out

Notes from the Authors: We are so sorry for the lack of update for the last three weeks. It's been a rough and difficult time. Things are slowly getting better, and updates will be more timely. By way of an apology, there are two chapters being uploaded. We hope you enjoy them. As always, your comments/reviews are always welcome!

Entering the Room of Requirement the next morning, Lily and Ginny saw everyone talking amongst themselves, all clearly happy yet tired. "Morning," Lily greeted, seeing that Sirius and Remus hadn't arrived yet.

"Did you enjoy yourselves?" Cedric asked, grinning.

"Very much so, and Ginny and I know about the clue, thanks to Rita's help," Lily said. Cedric, Fleur, and Viktor all looked at her with anticipation.

"You love leaving us in suspense, don't you?" Cedric asked, with a smirk.

"A little," Lily teased, as Sirius and Remus entered.

"Good timing, Lily and Ginny solved the egg clue, with help from Rita Skeeter," Hermione told them.

"I'll admit, I was wrong about her. I thought she would be… well, worse than this, but helping you… it's nice of her," Sirius mused.

"I agree. So, the wailing isn't wailing. It's Mermish," Lily said. Remus shook his head in disappointment as Ginny began to write the clue on the blackboard.

"I should have known that," Remus sighed, sounding annoyed with himself. "I spent time studying about underwater creatures."

"I taught about them last year," Sirius said, also annoyed. "How the hell did I miss that?"

"It doesn't matter, and it's not your fault. You weren't expecting to hear Mermish out of the water, I doubt translations cover that," Lily said firmly. "Right now, we need to focus on what we need to do. Rita said we'd need to learn the Bubble Head charm."

"That's a good idea," Cedric said.

"I haff a different idea, for me. I can transfigure myself into a shark, partly," Krum said.

"Human Transfiguration, that's difficult. It's impressive," Sirius complimented.

"I know of ze bubble head charm," Fleur said. Cedric nodded.

"So do I," Cedric said. "But it'll be a good idea to keep practising it, so we can keep it up longer."

"That's an excellent suggestion, Mr. Diggory," Remus said, looking at him. He then faced Lily. "We'll begin with the Bubble-Head charm, followed by the Lumos charm. Once you've perfected them, then we'll continue charms and hexes to work underwater."

"You'll need to keep practising all day, every day. You may need to complete classes with the Bubble Head charm on, so you can keep it going. You'll need to keep it up for a minimum of two hours before I let you do anything down there," Sirius added.

"Why two hours?" Lily asked.

"Because you need to take into account any problems, or travel time, anything like that," Sirius said. "Any questions?"

"No, I think it all makes sense. Is the Bubble Head charm difficult?" Lily asked.

"The hardest part is getting to keep it up for a long period of time. I expect you to keep trying and working on it," Sirius insisted.

"I will, Uncle Sirius, I promise," Lily replied, smiling at him.

The training lesson began, with everyone starting on the Bubble Head charm. Lily struggled at first, but it wasn't long before she managed to cast the spell for two minutes before it burst. She watched as Ginny managed to cast the spell, with hers lasting for almost two minutes. Lily knew they'd need to spend a lot of time practising the spell, but so far, she was starting to feel more confident about the task, the only part really troubling her being the item that would be taken. What would she miss the most?


The next two days went quickly for Lily, who spent most of her time in a Bubble Head. She knew she looked a little silly to others as she walked through the corridors with it on, though she didn't really care. She was more worried about keeping the charm intact.

As she studied for her potion's classes, not wanting to give Snape any ammunition to resume being mean to her. He had been making snide comments so far this year, as usual, and sometimes pointed out her mistakes to the class, but so far, he hadn't taken any points from her, and most of the time he avoided her gaze. Lily didn't know why, but it was better than how he usually treated her, so she just kept her eyes to herself.

The morning of the twenty-eighth came, and Lily found herself wondering who wanted to meet her, and how she'd be able to help them. She went over a few different thoughts, such as what she was going to say, and what resources she had that could help.

Making her way to Dumbledore's office, she took a deep breath before she got there, seeing Minerva waiting for her by the statue which would lead to the office. "Aunt Minnie?" Lily questioned her arrival.

"Lily, thank you for coming," Minerva said, with a small smile. "So, I've been told the circumstances of this meeting, another Hogwarts student wanting to speak with you, as they have… questions, and they feel like you'd be the best person to answer them."

"Who is it?" Lily asked, looking at her. Minerva smiled.

"It's… best you see yourself," Minerva told her. Lily nodded as she was led to Dumbledore's office. As she opened the door to go inside, her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped as she saw Professor Dumbledore… and Hermione!


"Hermione?" Lily's voice was barely a whisper as she looked at her friend. She was confused; why would Hermione want to speak to her in private, but not go to her directly? Was Hermione Transgender, or something else? So many thoughts ran through Lily's mind.

"Lily… I… I'm sorry I didn't go directly to you," Hermione almost seemed to be able to read Lily's mind, although she was certain her expression was doing the talking in that moment.

"Miss Potter, I shall give you and Miss Granger some alone time in my office. I, and Professor McGonagall, shall be right outside should you need us," Dumbledore said, standing up as his eyes seemed to twinkle. Lily nodded and watched as the two adults left.

"Hermione, what… what's wrong? I… I'm a little confused," Lily said, looking at her friend. "Are you… are you Transgender?"

"No, I'm not," Hermione replied. Her face was almost pale, and she looked close to tears. "I… I've been struggling with something, and I wasn't sure how to talk to anyone, because I know that it's… well, it's not something that most people would consider acceptable."

"To hell with what most people think, Hermione," Lily said firmly, looking at her friend as Fawkes began to sing a soothing tune, filling the office with a sense of calm and safety. "The only person you need to care about is what you think."

"I know…that Ginny might have been a good person to talk to, but I was… well, scared of talking to her. I don't understand any of my feelings right now, or why I have them. I did speak to one person, who said I should talk to you," Hermione looked at Lily. "You… you're well known as the Girl Who Cares," she giggled softly.

"That's a title I actually like," Lily said, smiling at her friend. She sat down on a chair, with Hermione sitting next to her.

"How do you… well, handle everything? I mean, you faced a lot of abuse when you came out, mostly from the Slytherin's, although others joined in, and yet… you kept going. How?" Hermione asked. Lily thought carefully for the moment.

"It's hard to say. I mean, having my friends with me helped, especially you," Lily told her. "Inside, yeah, I was terrified. I was so scared that I'd be told I'd have to leave Hogwarts or something, because… well, there's something I haven't told anyone yet," Lily explained.

She took a breath. "You remember when I first came out, I told you about when I faced Voldemort in our first year?" Lily asked. Hermione nodded. "The thing I didn't say is… is that a part of me wanted to believe him, and join him, because it meant I wouldn't have to hide, and I could be me. Afterwards, I even had dreams of having joined him, and being a Dark Queen, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"Which shows how amazing a person you are, Lily," Hermione said.

"Maybe, but to me, I thought I was broken and wrong, wanting to side with him. I realised it was just my fear, eventually. The thing about fear is that it can tell us so many lies, and make them convincing," Lily explained. Hermione nodded.

"I guess that makes sense," Hermione agreed. Lily smiled.

"Do you want to tell me what you wanted to talk about, or should I guess?" Lily asked, a kind smile on her face. "I think I already know."

"How?" Hermione's eyes widened as she looked at Lily.

"I've learnt a lot from you over the last four years, including the importance of listening. You said you thought about going to Ginny, so I'm going to guess that you're a lesbian as well?" Lily asked. Hermione blushed.

"I think… more like bi-sexual, they call it, or Pan-sexual; I don't care if someone is a boy or girl, but I know I'm not like other girls," Hermione said. Lily grinned.

"Now who'd want to be like everyone else?" Lily joked. Hermione giggled softly.

"I… I didn't know whether I should talk to someone. I mean, Viktor finally convinced me to talk when he could see I was distracted recently," Hermione explained.

"He seems to be very perceptive," Lily mused. "What did he say about your revelation?"

"He said the same thing as you; that it didn't matter what anyone else thought, but what I thought that counted," Hermione answered. Lily smiled.

"Must be true if we're both saying it," Lily pointed out. "Hermione, I think there are going to be a lot of people questioning themselves now that people realise it's okay to not be straight, and that's good."

"You really are brave Lily, and smart," Hermione told her friend.

"I'm the person I am because of the people in my life, including you. You were the first person to call me Lily, and you've been by my side since the beginning," Lily pointed out. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

"Thanks Lily," Hermione said, smiling. "I… I feel a little better now."

"I'm glad," Lily told her. "I know it's going to feel strange, and you won't know what to do, but we're all going to be facing our emotions and feelings together. You also have one disadvantage; being technically older than us now, you'll be experiencing the emotions and feelings more, and they'll be stranger to deal with."

"I guess. I just don't want to be so… I don't know, emotional and weird," Hermione struggled to think of the words.

"I get that. I've been struggling with my emotions and feelings since I started taking the Femininus Draught, and it's not been easy. Some days I want to burst into tears at the smallest things," Lily said. "But if there is even the chance you can be yourself, it's worth everything, believe me. I wouldn't trade anything for the chance I have to be myself, even if it did mean being bullied by Malfoy."

"Thanks Lily," Hermione said, smiling weakly at her. "You are my best friend Lily, and a sister to me, and I'm so thankful you're a part of my life."

"And you're a sister to me, Hermione, and I wouldn't have it any other way," Lily pulled Hermione into a hug. "And if there is a girl you like, you should tell her."

"I'm just scared… what if she doesn't like me?" Hermione's voice went weak as she looked at Lily. "I just… how would I cope?"

"Wouldn't it be worse to say nothing and be stuck with that hidden feeling forever?" Lily asked. Hermione nodded slowly.

"I guess so," she agreed. "I'll figure it out though."

"Take all the time you need, and I'll be there if you want me with you," Lily offered.

"Thank you," Hermione pulled Lily into a hug, holding onto her as the two of them just remained there, letting the sound of Fawkes soothing song fill them.