Sorting the Past, Facing the Future.

The week after Dave's accident would turn out to be one of the most hectic in Sebastian's life. He was back at the hospital early on the Monday morning, to see him before he went in for the first of his surgeries; they intended to replace his shattered kneecap and mend the joint it had once protected. The operation would not be a short one, nor would the recovery afterwards be easy. Due to the length of time that the surgery would take, the surgeon had decided that he would only pin his fractured lower leg back together that day if they managed to complete the work on his knee without undue complications…

Sebastian had intended to go alone, but at the last minute he decided to take Elise with him, leaving Francis in the care of his grandfather. Dave was still in pain, and groggy from the medication, but the sight of his daughter made his face light up. They had only a few minutes together, but Dave confirmed to Sebastian that he still wanted to do the interview about his coming out process, and how his mother's attitude had lead him to a suicide attempt. "I know that it was a whole collection of things that got me to that moment, but it was the continual pressure from her that had me constantly on the edge, not the silly barbs of another young man…"

"A young man that has felt guilty about his part in it ever since, and has tried his level best to behave better," replied Sebastian quietly.

"He's done a pretty good job of that too," said Dave with a smile.

The two adults then sat in silence as Elise chatted away, until the nurse came to administer the final set of checks before Dave was wheeled away to the theaters. As he went, Elise turned to Sebastian, and said, "Where is daddy going?"

"He is going away to be fixed up after his big fall," her papa responded.

"Is he getting a big band-aid, like I did when I hurt my knee?"

"Something like that… When he does come home, you will have to be very gentle around him for a while, because when you are a daddy, a band-aid takes a lot longer to work." Elise looked at him, then nodded; her papa then took her in his arms, and they headed for home.

On arriving home, Sebastian left his daughter with her grandfather, brother and Mrs Carr, and headed for the small home office that he and Dave shared. He took a seat, and made a call to the head of Dave's team. He updated him first on the current condition of his husband, then moved on to the main purpose of his call. "I do not know if you are aware, but Dave's mother has been causing us problems, and he has come to a decision about how best he can deal with her threats. In a nutshell, he intends to fight her fire with his own. He wants to do an interview in which he tells the story of his own coming out process, and everything that happened to him then."

There was a momentary silence on the other end of the line, and then came a measured response. "I am taking it that by everything, he is intending to talk about his suicide attempt? It was one of the first things that he mentioned when we interviewed him, back when he was on our list of possible recruits. The fact that he was candid and honest with us that day was a big part in him getting the spot. If that is what he wishes, then we will back him to the hilt. If in the process he also shows that woman up for the unchristian soul that she is, then so much the better. I am also assuming that he wants to get the interview done sooner rather than later?"

"If we are to make his mother look as bad as we can do, then certainly. If she manages to get the air time and gets her lies out there first, then we have lost the first skirmish of the battle."

"I will get on to the networks; see who will give us the best deal in terms of timing and coverage; ensure that we get a sympathetic interviewer."

"Of course, any fee that they are willing to pay should go to a charity, such as the Trevor Project. This is not just about dealing with her; it is also him being a role model to others that are in the same situation now as he was in then."

"Leave it to me; I have good contacts at NBC, so there is a chance that we could even get him onto the Today programme tomorrow morning, if you think that he would be up to an interview that soon."

"I would think that he should be okay for that, yes, and of course, that gets a huge coast to coast audience. Getting the message out across the entire country is more than we could ever have hoped for…"

Dave's surgery was a success, and as his knee was completed quickly, they also managed to pin his tibia successfully; his fibula was much less damaged. His knee was placed in a protective brace, his lower leg in a cast. Paul went to see him alone on Monday evening, Sebastian staying at home with the children. Once they were in bed, he used the time he had to talk to all of those that were involved in Waiting for Godot, to assure them all of his continued commitment to the show. They were without fault sympathetic to the situation that he found himself in. He had been especially touched to have been called by Russell at lunchtime, and the way that the other actor had spoken had left him with even more admiration for the man.

That done, he had called Thad, and discovered that the Head Warbler had been about to call him. He had found out that the former Mrs Karofsky had indeed been arrested that morning, and charged with hate speech, according to the local television station in Westerville. Sebastian in turn appraised Thad of Dave's own plans; as soon as he rang off, Thad sent out a group text with Sebastian's approval to say that Dave might be on the television the next day…

As if that was an omen, that was indeed confirmed a few minutes later when Paul arrived back from the hospital. He had been given a slot on the Today programme, and they would be sending a member of their sports team to do the interview live the following morning. The young reporter in question was a new addition in the New York base, but he was keen, and had taken a personal interest in the story. That fact made Sebastian curious, but as he rarely saw the programme, he had no idea who they could be; worse, Dave's team boss didn't seem to know either.

The next day, Sebastian was back at the hospital early once more, to act as a go between for his husband, if necessary, and to escort the reporter when they arrived to Dave's room. It was quiet a shock when they arrived; Sebastian discovered that the NBC newbie was a recruit from WOHN. It seemed that the past decade had been good for Jacob Ben Israel…

"Good morning, Sebastian. I bet that I am the last person you were expect to see here this morning," Jacob said with a grin.

"You could certainly say that; it has been a decade at least since we last crossed paths."

"Yes, the trial of Hunter Clarington; still my big break, even if Sue Sylvester kept trying to steal the show. I have been keeping an eye on all of you involved in that ever since, seeing how your careers have progressed. You have all moved on from that low point successfully, becoming success stories in your own fields… I'd also like to say, albeit much to late, that I was genuinely sorry to hear about what happened to Wes; I even witnessed the ice hearted Sue shed a tear when she heard about him…"

"Thanks… Though of course, by the looks of it, we aren't the only ones to have done well."

"If by that you mean moving up from working at a minor Ohio affiliate to a very small role on the Today programme, then yes, I have. I must confess though that this will be the first interview where I will appear on screen. I am usually the person that does all the vox pop stuff that the big names like to pretend they've done themselves. When this interview came up, I was immediately interested, given that I knew you both, and luckily for me, none of the big names wanted to come to New Jersey at this time in the morning. So I volunteered, and when I mentioned that I had been at school with Dave, just casually, well that clinched it. Speaking of him, I can imagine he will be as shocked as you were…"

Jacob would be proved correct in his assertion when he was allowed into Dave's room, and for a moment, he actually thought that his husband would refuse to do the interview with someone that he knew. Then he shook his head, and began to laugh, and the ice was broken. After the briefest of catch ups, during which Jacob revealed he was married with two daughters, and now living on Long Island, they began to prepare for the interview itself. Although it had initially been intended for live transmission, Jacob had intervened and stated that it would be better if it was pre-recorded, allowing for minor editing if need be. It would still be raw and emotional though, which was exactly what Dave had hoped for…

As soon as Jacob had confirmation of the time the interview would be shown, Sebastian called his father-in-law, and then sent out a group text to let them know. It was not unexpected thanks to Thad's message the day before, and those that could would arrange to tune in at 7.40am EST. When the responses came back, it was the one from Thad that provoked Sebastian's interest; it transpired that Dave's mother was being interviewed live in Ohio just 25 minutes later…

Armed with that news, Jacob was able to ensure that the report would go out right on schedule. His interview style was simple; he asked the basic questions, then let Dave talk, telling the tale in his own words. Sebastian was there on screen too, holding his husband's hand, but he said nothing, this moment being his husband's alone. Jacob then did a very quick edit, and then played it back to see if it met their approval. It did, and so he mailed it back to the news centre in Manhattan with time to spare. That done, Jacob headed outside to do a live link piece, wishing them well…

The interview went out bang on time, and once they all got over the shock of who was presenting it, they found it powerful and moving. Not all of them had known the full story, and they all felt sympathy for what Dave had been through. It also let them all see just how he was, as none of them had seen him since the accident apart from Santana, and she had only seen him briefly that night. The appearance of Jacob had given all the former McKinley students a moment's pause, and they all saw that he had matured into someone much less geeky, and far more serious…

Across the nation as a whole, Dave's words would strike a chord. They illustrated the fact that even in a more tolerant time, there were still those that allowed their belief system to override the love that they should have for their own child; that there was still so much intolerance, and that the gay to straight camps were still hidden out there…

Jacob had ended the interview with a simple statement straight to camera. "Many will of course will ask why Dave Karofsky has waited until now to tell his story. In many ways, it is a counterblast to the vile homophobic slurs that his own mother placed on Facebook in the immediate aftermath of his accident, words that have now been taken down, and which I will not repeat. The message in all of this is plain; words can be just as lethal as a knife or gun. If those words come from someone that should know better, someone that should love you unconditionally, then they can do irreparable harm. This is Jacob Ben Israel, in New Jersey, for the Today show…"

As the presenters in the studio in Manhattan debated what Dave had said, and what impact it should have, in Ohio his mother was livid. In that short interview, she had been changed from a righteous Christian into a villain; in short, she was the worst mother in the world. Worse, she still had to go on air in a few minutes, but instead of it being her opportunity to justify her views from a lofty position on the moral heights, she would have to defend her stance amid accusations that they were actually against much that the Bible said….

With her voice now silenced, there was now ample opportunity for those in New Jersey to concentrate on what was important, and that was getting Dave back up on his feet again. He was still in a considerable amount of pain, his bruises as painful as his shattered legs. Sebastian knew that his first job was to ensure that his husband did not dwell on the negative aspects of his situation; yes, he would not play football again, but that was not the end of the world. He was alive, he had a happy marriage and two beautiful children. His mother was not a part of all that, through her own choices. As they sat there that morning, Sebastian decided that it might be a good time to address the one elephant in the room…

"So, your dad… He and Mrs Carr get on well…"

"Oh, they do, Sebby… Look, I think that there is something going on between them. I don't know how you feel about that, but I think that if my dad was to find a new woman for companionship, then he couldn't do any better than her. It's a complicated situation though…"

"Well, I agree that they are well suited, but it might well leave us either looking for a new nanny, or your father deciding to move his life to New Jersey…"

Whilst everyone's attention was focused on Dave and Sebastian, Seth found himself enjoying a brief break from being in the spotlight. However, it soon became apparent to him that the focus had shifted just as he entered a particularly bad spell of health. He ended up having to call in sick for most of the week, which was a first for him. His legs ached, and he had lost all power in his left arm, which made getting around in his chair a very slow and painful experience. It was all that he could do to move about his apartment, so staying home was for the best…

When he did not feel any better by the end of the week, and then started to experience his issues with dry mouth again, he started to worry. He was surviving on a diet of thin soup, and he felt weak. For the first time in a while, he felt helpless, and he was more than convinced that he was on his way out very soon. He sat down at his computer on Friday afternoon, and attended to a job he had been putting off for so long. It was a laborious process, typing one letter at a time, but eventually he had the will that he wanted completed. He printed it off, and then dealt with an even harder task - signing it. The end result was not his usual polished signature, as his hand had been shaking all the time that he held the pen…

That done, he sat still for a moment, and then allowed himself to cry. The gentle tears soon morphed into aching sobs that shook his frame, the need for self pity overwhelming his resolve not to allow his condition to get to him. In allowing himself to wallow, he failed to hear the knock at the front door, an action that was repeated several times with increasing urgency until finally the caller used the emergency door key. Seth was only finally aware that Jeff had entered the apartment when the blond knelt down in front of him and grasped his hands in his own…

Within an hour, Ollie was there, examining his patient, listening to him describe the issues that he had had that week. Jeff had excused himself, to allow them to have peace in which to talk in confidence, and also because he needed to go home, and sit in in the kitchen clutching the open cookie tin, and cry at what he had just witnessed first hand…

"Well, there is no doubt about it, I'm afraid," Ollie said when he had finished all his tests. "This is the kind of event that usually only happens in the later stages of your journey with MND. Fortunately you have had the good sense to avoid awkward foods, and have kept yourself nourished with stuff you can easily swallow. You would be in a much worse state if you had tried to fight against it, as some people do. So there has been no improvement in your limbs at all since the start of the week?"

"A very little, but my arm still feels so weak, and even getting out of my bed in the morning has been a big challenge. I woke up needing to use the restroom last night, and I ended up crawling there as the idea of getting into the chair was too much, but I barely made it there in time, and once I was there, I had no energy to get myself back…"

"There are thing that we can arrange for that; we can get you a commode, so that you will only need to slide out of the bed onto it instead; it's not what you would want, but it is a solution. I think that we also need to ensure that someone comes in to check up on you every day from now on. I could arrange for a nurse to pop in…"

"No, I am not ready for that, having a carer… Maybe one of the others could do it though? A nurse, in a uniform, coming daily, would make it all seem so final, and would feel like the last straw…"

"If you think that they would be prepared to do that, then it could work. However, speaking of work…"

"I know," said Seth with a sigh. "I have to accept that it is time to face the truth. I can't work any longer. I wanted to at least see out the academic year, but I think that is just a pipe dream…"

"I am not saying that you need to stop working altogether, just cut back on your hours."

"No, a clean break is better. Lingering on for weeks is not fair on me, or on anyone else. No, the time has come, though I would like to go in one final time to say my goodbyes…"

The news of Seth's decision spread quickly, at his own behest. He spoke to Jeff, who instantly agreed to come in and check on him each morning as he came home from taking Wes to kindergarten. Seth then called Thad, and asked him to put the news on the Warbler group chat, but to delay it slightly so that he could tell Skylar himself. The moment that he ended the call to Thad, he rang his best friend in a slight state of trepidation, and was glad when he answered the call quickly. After the initial greeting, Seth spoke firmly. "So, I am having a bit of a bad spell, and I have concluded that I need to give up work. I will however be staying in New York for now, so that I can benefit from Ollie's continuing care, but it does look as if the time is rapidly approaching when you and Julia will have a full time house guest…"

Seth heard Skylar sniff at the other end, and knew that his friend was composing himself, before he replied, "As long as you think that it is for the best, and Ollie approves, then I will agree that is a good plan, even if all I really want is for you to be here where I can look after you. Julia and I will be ready whenever you are ready to come back to Ohio and join us, but I do hope that moment is a long way off…"

"So do I, but being honest, I am not so sure of that any longer…"

"Nonsense, you will be here with us for Christmas again, posing for all those terrible photos. I believe that you can survive this bad spell and flourish again, and to be honest, I need you to… Keep fighting, because every single one of us will help you; we have your back…"

"I will try; that is all that I can honestly promise you I will do…"

The two best friends ended their call shortly after those words, Skylar claiming he needed to get back to a work meeting, but in his heart Seth knew that he had to go so that he could break down and cry, as his voice had started to falter. He could not blame him either, as he was once again struggling to hold back his own tears. The decision that he had just made marked the end of another chapter of his life, another staging post on the route to his end. He took a deep breath, then made another call, the one that would make his decision a formality. He had not expected to be able to speak to the Professor himself, but he was glad that he was able to when it came down to it. He knew what the older man's first question would be, and he quickly gave his answer.

"I am not good, and there has been no improvement in that all week. I have therefore admitted to myself that this time I am not going to bounce back quickly, if at all, and that is why I am calling. It was always my hope and intention to see this year out, then review thing during the summer, but I have now come to the reluctant conclusion that I must tender my resignation with immediate effect. I can barely manage at home at the moment, and it would be unfair of me to come in and expect help all the time. I know that there would be people willing to help, to push me everywhere, but I think this kind of day will be the new normal, and you all need someone more reliable to assist…"

"Seth, as this week has gone on, and you did not return, I started to pray that this call was not going to happen, but at the same time, deep down, I knew that it would come. The fact is that to me, and all of the students, you will not be an easy person to replace. Your knowledge is excellent, and your cheery disposition buoyed us all on the darkest of days. I would try to change your mind, as I know that there would be a willing rota of people to push you around, but the decision is ultimately yours, and I will respect it."

"It is for the best, sir. If I have another big attack whilst I am in this state, then it could be twenty or thirty times worse than the one in November, and I can't inflict that on you all…"

"All I will request is that you try and come in to see us one last time, just so that we can bid you farewell properly."

"I can try, because I will miss the work, the students, and most of all, you. A lot of people would have abandoned me the moment that I fell ill, but you made so many changes to your working life to accommodate me, and I am eternally grateful for that."

"It really wasn't that much of a problem; as it turns out, the ground floor room suits me too. I am no longer a young man, and I am starting to suffer from arthritis, not that I would admit that to anyone else. In a way, your condition might have helped to extend my career… I am sorry, that was thoughtless of me; I should not have said that."

"No, it is okay. I have learnt to live with it now, and if my existence has helped someone, then it has all been worth it. So, I will put my resignation in writing, and get it into the post to the relevant departments. I will try and pop in next week…."

"Wednesday afternoon is best, as you know, as I have no scheduled classes, but only come if you are truly well enough."

"I will make Wednesday my target… Until then, I will say goodbye for now…"

As he had promised, Jeff was a daily visitor to Seth's home from then on, popping in each morning, even on the weekend when he did not need to be out so early. In the afternoon, there were other visitors, with Nick, Mike, Beats and even Flint popping by to say hello. Artie came several times over the next few days, bringing with him on his first visit a book of simple exercises that might help to strengthen his arm. He knew that Seth's situation was entirely different to his own, but he wanted to try and assist in any way that he could. At first Seth had been sceptical, but he tried them, and found that they did help a little…

He also received a lot of Skype calls in the evening, but never more than one each night; that made him suspect that some sort of rota had been set up, although when he challenged Thad about it on the Tuesday night, he vehemently denied it. "And even if it did exist, then nobody is being forced to join it. If such a thing did exist, then I am sure it would only be there to ensure that you are not called several times in the one night, then not speak to anyone at night for days."

"Well that is true, I guess, and if the non-existent rota isn't around, I am still glad that everyone is calling. However, I did not realise that Trent knew quite so many filthy jokes…" Thad burst out laughing at that, which made Seth grin too. "I will say this though; David is looking tired. Oh, and Gabriel's son is so sweet… Right, so if you happen to be speaking to anyone who might have been thinking of paying me a visit tomorrow afternoon, tell them that I won't be here. I am heading to the college one final time to bid my farewell to the professor…"

True to his word, the following afternoon saw Seth being driven to the college by his usual driver, Alejandro; the man seemed subdued, but Seth had kind of expected that. What he did not anticipate was that he would step out of the vehicle with him, another driver taking the car away. Then Alejandro was pushing him into the building. The first thing that he noticed was that the usually busy corridors were quiet, but those he did pass seemed to be standing almost to attention as he was wheeled past….

When he looked back, he realised that he should have known that the professor's room would be full, and that as he entered there would be a round of applause, the only way that the huge group that had gathered there could easily express their appreciation of him…

Of course, such a reception made Seth cry, and more than a few others gathered in the room joined him in shedding tears, amongst them the professor and some of the most macho of the students he had helped. Eventually the noise died down, and Seth realised he had to speak. "I should have suspected that this was going to happen, but well… I would just like to say that it has been a privilege to have met all of you, and to have been able to do a little to help you in your quest to be the people that will build and create so much in the future. Always follow your dreams, and don't let anyone hold you back; live for the day, enjoying every moment. Be kind, and respect each other; we will all get to where we need to be faster as a team. Oh, and if any of you find yourselves receiving an award for your work in the future, if you want to mention me in your acceptance speech…"

Those last words brought a burst of laughter from every corner of the room. "Seth, I will insist that they do!" said the professor. "Now, on their behalf and on mine, I would like to thank you for being you. You have more ideas in your head than some of the most lauded in the engineering world, and the fact that you have been willing to share them has inspired us all. You have a technique for getting ideas across that makes it simple for everyone that hears them. Now, there was talk of a leaving gift for you, and a collection was begun, but on reflection, we all agreed that there was a much better way that we could mark this moment. The substantial amount of money that has been collected from around the school will be donated to a MND charity, so that it can support others that are in the same place as you are, both now and in the future. I am also able to announce that the engineering department has agreed to rename the annual first prize trophy for students as the Seth Kennedy Cup, ensuring that your name will be known to future generations. We do so in the hope that you will be able to present it to the first recipient in the summer."

Seth blinked back tears that were forming again in his eyes, and said, "If I am able to do so, then it will be an honour. In that vein, this is just goodbye, not farewell - and I will miss you all…"

Seth stayed in the room for a while after that, accepting hugs and back slaps, as nobody wanted to risk hurting him by repeatedly shaking his hands. Although their words were upbeat, most of them knew that this was probably the last time they would see him. There was a moment when Seth's heart nearly broke, when one of the junior year students quietly told him that he had started to have pain in his hand, and his initial thoughts had been that he was about to succumb to the same condition as Seth. He had immediately headed to the doctor, which he would not have done had he not been aware of Seth's story. It had turned out to be a trapped nerve, but the tests had revealed that he had a small cancerous growth in his lower arm, and he would be starting treatment in a few days time…

"If it hadn't been for you, the I would have ignored the pain, and it would have resolved itself in time; and I would have been in the dark about the cancer. They have caught it whilst it is small and easy to cure… I just wish that your condition could be cured so easily, as the world is going to be a much darker place without you in it…"

The young man sniffed then, and Seth saw the tears in his eyes. He took his hand, then said in a low voice, "Well, when the time comes, it doesn't mean that I won't be keeping an eye on all of you from the next life. As someone once said to me, if you believe in something enough, then anything is possible. I am hoping for a set of wings and no pain…"

The young man nodded, and replied, "I believe in all of that too, and in the distant future, I would like to see your wings." Seth resolved that he would make a point of paying a visit to Esteban as soon as he possibly could after the young man died…

Eventually, all of the students were gone, the faculty had all returned to their own rooms, and it was just Seth and his erstwhile boss. "I know that I have said this already, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my skills and knowledge with a new generation of people. Not many would have been so sympathetic and supportive of me."

"If I am being honest, there were some in the hierarchy that wanted to block your appointment to the position, but I threatened them with taking early retirement, as I am permitted to do under my contract. I also told them that it would do the department and the college as a whole a lot of damage, as they would gain a reputation of not being supportive of those with disabilities or long term illness. Of course they have changed their minds now. I intend to work for another two or three years, then I will take my pension, head off, and enjoy life for a while. I might consider coming back as a guest lecturer sometimes…"

"Quite right! We all need to make the most of the time that we have here, however long that may be." Then they hugged, one that lasted for a long time, before the professor pushed Seth back to the kerb, where Alejandro was waiting for him in the usual spot. If Seth cried once more on the way home, then nothing was said, as the driver was crying too. No words passed between them on the way back, but once Seth was on the sidewalk outside his apartment, he found himself being hugged again, and felt Alejandro's tears on his cheek. Then he bid his farewells, and drove away, leaving Seth to make his way back into his home, another part of his life having come to an end…