A/N: This chapter gets kinda rambly towards the end. I don't have time to edit it, so, sorry.
Transitioning away from deadline-based motivation and starting a new story and writing an actual book and changing the way I generally exist in the world all around the same time is the writing equivalent of learning to swim by throwing myself into the ocean. It is not going well. It feels great! It's exactly the sort of bad decision I like to make. I will continue making it until it turns into a good decision. That may or may not make sense by the end of this chapter.
This chapter's title, on the other hand, definitely will.
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In the abandoned hospital
"Does it count as child labor or not?"
The demon boy pondered the question while his snakelike friend waited impatiently. The snake boy was usually the essence of patience, but that was because he usually didn't have anything exciting to look forward to. Now he did. The demon boy finished pondering. "It's okay if they agree to it. They've run messages before and helped with transportation and battles and stuff. If it's okay to bring them to a battlefield, it's okay to use them as delivery boys."
The snake child stood up.
"Yeah, you're right," the demon boy replied, also standing. "Enough talk." He took the form of a dog and invited the snakelike toddler to climb onto his back. He left his office, turned left towards the lobby, opened the hospital doors through magical means, and trotted across the lawn. He noticed the faint mist from morning dew, the sparkle of sunlight on what droplets remained, and the sheer greenness of it all. It took work to notice those things, and though he could perceive them they did not affect him. He tuned into the ghostly gardener's soul as he passed the row of bushes. That affected him. Once he got out of range, he tried to copy his snakelike friend's soul instead. But the snake boy did not care about the grass or the dew or the sunlight. All the demon could get from him was nervousness and excitement and the ever-present sadness. The demon boy stopped trying. I wish I could see as they see on my own, without having to copy anyone. But he was a demon and he did not have a body. He would never have that ability.
The mist was at its strongest by the time he trotted onto the front lawn of the formerly-abandoned hotel. In less than five minutes, it would be gone. He stopped and let the snake child climb down. Since the snake was taking the lead, the demon boy stayed in dog form as they let themselves in. He woofed. They waited for a response.
The calm guy came to investigate. "What's this about?" he asked. The demon dog pointed his snout at the snake, who squeezed his stuffed toy snake in a death grip. "I'm sorry, I don't speak mute," the calm guy replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "I'll fetch someone who does." That was exactly what he was supposed to do. The demon dog panted happily.
The calm guy fetched the nice person. The nice person didn't know it, but he'd been followed. No sooner had he knelt down to greet the snake boy than two dolls peeked around the corner to see what was up. They jumped. The demon dog woofed at them. They, and the third doll who followed several seconds later, looked back and forth between the snake boy and the demon dog in utter amazement. A human who was the same size as them? A floofy beast? Wow! What would this world come up with next?
The snake boy held out his stuffed toy to the nearest doll. The nearest doll was the one with the red star on its forehead. It booped the snake's nose. The snakelike boy smiled. He offered the stuffed toy to all of the dolls. They all booped it. The demon boy tuned into his soul and found him basking in joy. One of the dolls ran off to get the skateboard. The snake boy nudged the skateboard warily, then sat on it, holding it still with his feet. The doll with the green circle sat next to him and combed through his hair. It liked his hair.
"Awww," the nice person said. "You brought him here to make friends with the dolls? That's so sweet."
The demon reverted to his usual boy form. "It would also be neat if they made library runs for my ghosts."
"Library runs…?" The nice person blinked. "Uh, I don't think the vampires would like that. They were only interested in having the dolls treat their homes as if their homes were rooms in a library, not with actually using their homes in that way, especially not on any kind of regular schedule. What exactly are you talking about?"
"Okay, we'll borrow our own books," the demon boy said with a shrug.
His right shoulder was poked. He turned. The doll with the blue X wanted to know how he'd turned from a floofy beast into a human, and why he was an in-between size. "I have magic too!" the demon boy said. "My magic is that I'm made of a substance that can do anything it wants. Watch." He changed colors, blue then green then white then purple. He held out a hand and made it super hot, then so cold that his breath condensed into mist around it. "I can be super light or super heavy, solid or liquid or gas, even shiny like a mirror! I can be anything I want!"
The doll raised its arms. That was super impressive! Now, why was he an in-between size?
"Humans start out tiny and add material to their bodies over time until they get to that size," the demon explained while pointing at the nice person. The doll flailed its arms. Adding material to their bodies?! What kind of magic was that? "I dunno. They don't even need to think about it; it just sorta happens." The doll ran over to the nice person and touched his skin, poking and pulling and prodding it every which way. "They also need to constantly keep doing it 'cause their bodies are always losing material. If they don't add enough, they'll shrink, and if they shrink too much they die." The doll sat down, overcome with awe. The nice person patted its head. The demon boy tapped its shoulder. "I work in a totally different way! I started out much larger, then shrank over time! Wanna hear all about it?" The dolls were all very busy with what they had heard so far, but yes, they wanted to. If he would stay for a while, they would ask him to tell them all about it when they were ready. The demon boy giggled and turned into a variety of different animal forms for their amusement: different breed of dog, bobcat, ring-tailed lemur, pangolin. They rode his various forms around the room. It was fun. The nice person urged them to go outside so he could run. On the front grass, the demon boy introduced the dolls to miniature horses. The doll with the green circle really liked riding horses. The snake boy participated. His favorite riding form was the giant inchworm.
The demon boy copied all of their souls, sometimes one at a time and sometimes all together. It brought him bliss. I wish I could feel this by myself. But I guess it's not so bad to need other people around. They're not exactly hard to come by. At least, they weren't right now. He had tried to copy souls in his past. Those ventures had not worked; the souls he'd copied were unreliable, unstable. The ghosts, which were under his complete control emotion-wise, were the first souls he'd been able to make this strategy work with. Now he had his pick of people to copy and would never run out of suitable options. At last, it was possible to be happy whenever he wanted.
The demon boy never looked very far into the future. He didn't want to know if this would ever end. If he looked into the future and saw that it did end, his current happiness would be spoiled by gloom. If he knew for sure that it didn't, he'd forget to appreciate it. So he kept himself in a state of not-knowing, experiencing happiness spiced with a pinch of fear. He was very proud for having come up with this strategy all by himself, without the forces that created the world having to tell him. I can play this game! I can live in this world and be part of it and be really successful even though I'm a demon! That doesn't have to stop me! Just watch!
The dolls, the snake child and the two humans watched him perform an acrobatic stunt. They applauded.
Sasori
Something about watching the children play lightened Sasori's mood. He felt rather playful himself as he went back inside to get ready for work. On a whim, he sent Laurie a quick text. Warning: good mood today. High chance of sociability.
He arrived at the auto shop/bicycle clinic to find his two coworkers in similar spirits. Laurie booted up the computer system and checked records relevant to the day while Ruta opened up the shop's physical location. Sasori went into his work area to find that Ruta had already made it operational. Ruta blushed when praised. "W-well… I've just been getting really comfortable here. It's still your space."
"No. It's yours too," Sasori told him. "You've done good work in here for long enough. You've earned it."
Ruta smiled at the floor. "Thank you."
Sasori raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of feeling at home… How are things with your clan?"
"I'm still sleeping in the lizard cabin," Ruta replied. "But I don't mind that. I can share treats and hang with the other tigers during the day, so it's not like I'm missing anything, you know? I get along well, they like me and stuff, during the day when the sun is out and I'm feeling really good. When it's not, when I'm not feeling strong enough to put on my likable face, then the lizards don't mind my normal face. I've always liked them and the snakes. Me and Satori are still best buds. Do you think he could… Or I could… I mean… For weekends…"
"Hire a weekend crew?" Sasori considered it. "You are good at handling the bicycle repairs. But they don't come in that often. How would you keep from getting bored out of your mind?"
Ruta shrugged. "Just a thought. I still don't really know what to do with weekends."
"Same," Sasori replied. "Remember, you can take vacation hours with zero notice. Laurie and I finally figured out a way to record that in the system. If you want to take some right now, you can."
Ruta grinned. "Maybe just one. I feel an urge to run."
"Then run. I'll tell her." Ruta shook with happiness, then set a timer on his phone and raced out the door. Sasori told Laurie. She wrote it down for later entry.
"What's up with the good mood?" she asked. "Did you just wake up on the right side of the bed, or is there something going on?"
"Oh, it's a blend of things," Sasori replied. "I woke up well. I spent a while watching cute dolls play in the front yard. My beetle-bot is operational. It's a lot of things."
"Woah, hold on. What's this about a beetle-bot?"
Kakuzu
Kakuzu was the only person Sasori had told so far. He was honored to be entrusted with this secret. Konan would want to know. On the other hand, what good does it do her? There's no need to share it just yet.
Kakuzu had to be sure of that, so he caught her as she was writing daily tasks on the whiteboard in the kitchen. Original Nagato and Yahiko were also there, suggesting entries. Original Nagato turned to Kakuzu. "Kakuzu. Do you have something to report?"
"No, I came to gather information," Kakuzu replied. He looked at the task board. The task board said, Monitoring status of group members. Communicating with vampires. Interacting with demon boy. Nothing that required a battle beetle. "We decided to make training battles a form of live entertainment that we could invite all of our neighbors to. It's been a while since the last one. Are there plans for another?"
"Good idea," Konan replied. "Conditions are currently favorable. Please ask the group chat to suggest times and matchups."
Kakuzu pulled out his phone and did as ordered. While typing, he asked, "What do you mean by favorable conditions?"
"The overall summation of ongoing plot threads feels appropriate. Reasons to make contact with our neighbors have appeared. Intra-group conflict is currently at a minimum. Battle abilities have changed, and Obito's system might qualify as a new group member we could use. In general, it feels like a training battle would be both appreciated and useful at this time."
"Single battle or multiple?"
"Depends on the suggested matchups."
"It might be relevant to share that Sasori has made an advance in his fighting capacity." Damn. I was looking forward to being a trusted guardian of secrets.
"An advance in his fighting capacity? Do you mean the mechanized puppet he has been working on is operational?"
"Yup."
"That does raise…interesting possibilities. Mention it in the chat. Don't offer too many details."
Translation: don't tip off the originals. Kakuzu remembered. Sasori had once said that he had a trick up his sleeve in case he got a chance to fight one of them. In the group chat, Kakuzu said, Sasori is already chosen to participate. His first-ever puppet is ready. It'll be interesting to see what the originals think of it. Now he needed to find an excuse for choosing one of the originals as Sasori's opponent. Hmm… Not Hidan; if he channels chakra into his scythe, he could undo all of Sasori's hard work instantly. Original Nagato would have no problem doing likewise. That leaves Original Yahiko. But he didn't know Sasori's original, so he won't have an interesting reaction. Dammit! Back to Original Hidan. He's a highly reactive loudmouth. He'll have to do.
"I was under the impression that the clones are practically civilians," Original Nagato said to Konan. "But they hold training battles?"
"Yes. Training battles are special occasions: they polish their weapons, wear their group uniforms, prepare strategies and survey the battlefield beforehand, etc. They may be lax in their regular training, but never for a battle."
"Are these battles…coordinated?"
"No. They are genuine. The participants are supported or outright carried off the field with great injuries, both physical and mental. The last set of training battles we held traumatized a portion of the spectators and frightened the vampires. One of our members nearly died."
"It makes you wonder why we look forward to them so much," Kakuzu said.
Konan tilted her head. "I should think the answer to that is quite obvious: these battles are your only opportunity to sustain heavy injuries. Haven't you noticed that most members of our group actively pursue distress? To the casual observer, it looks like you all are neurotics who fly into a panic at the slightest thing, but I suspect that this panic is chosen rather than accidental."
Kakuzu nodded. "It's very convincing. They even fool themselves into thinking they're easily-frightened children. But if you try to help, the truth comes out. They let the act slip just long enough to tell you off for interrupting their favorite hobby. It's all a ruse."
Konan smiled. "You clones appear weak, but woe betide anyone who gets between you and your desires. I do not know why, but it appears that most if not all of you desire pain. That is what you must have, then."
Kakuzu checked the group chat. He had several responses already. Most of them suggested Wednesday, which was only two days away, and all were very enthusiastic. "Suspicion confirmed. They're very enthusiastic and want to hold the next battle as soon as possible."
"Excuse me," Original Yahiko cut in. "Did you both just say that the clones are secretly very strong but choose to live as if they are weak? Why would anyone do that?"
"This practice isn't limited to the members of our group. People everywhere do it," Kakuzu replied. "If you try to calm an angry person, stabilize a nervous wreck or cheer up a chronic complainer, they will get offended. They want to be angry, nervous or pessimistic. I have no idea why." Poor Original Yahiko. He looks like his head is about to explode.
"Worry not. They are changing their minds," Konan told the two originals. "That way of life is growing stale. Living as confident people is much more interesting to them now."
Original Nagato sighed. "This explains my intuitive feeling that our presence is not truly necessary. We were supposedly brought to life in order to help your group members, but they resist. We might as well have stayed dead."
"That is not true. You provide examples of lives lived confidently, thus making such lifestyles more attractive. They would not change their minds nearly as fast without you."
Original Yahiko shook his head. "Why would anyone choose to be unhappy?"
Kakuzu raised a hand. "As someone with anger issues, I can testify that being frustrated feels strangely satisfying."
"Satisfying how? Doesn't satisfaction mean happiness?"
"Happiness is not synonymous with joy," Konan told him. "Happiness can be synonymous with sadness, with pain, with a great many things. Hm. What is happiness?"
Kakuzu shrugged. The conversation was getting too philosophical for him. "I'll ask Itachi. He probably has an answer already." I do not. The only thing I have to add on this topic is that if anyone tries to take my anger away from me, I'll kill them. It's mine, and that is all that matters.
Itachi
"Happiness is feeling and acting however you should be feeling and acting."
"Elaborate," Konan ordered.
Itachi was supervising the dolls. He did not take his eyes off of them as he said, "As an example, if two people are both made to fight an enemy that frightens them, and one person is simply not ready for battle while the other is an experienced warrior, the warrior will feel proud afterward while the trainee will strongly consider abandoning their training. If these same two people are both asked to run from a frightening adversary, the trainee will feel invigorated and motivated to train harder while the warrior will feel like they just carved out a piece of their own heart. Every person has a way that they should be feeling and acting in any moment. Feeling and acting in opposition to this way injures them."
"Can this 'way' be chosen?"
"Yes, it is always chosen."
"What about people who break from their usual way and temporarily display attributes they should not possess?"
"Those people are ready to or already in the process of changing their chosen way. Someone who is not willing to reconsider their choice is incapable of breaking from it for even a second."
"These out-of-character moments appear more and more often and last longer each time until they become the new standard, is that right?"
Itachi pointed at the sky. "Some people change their ways all at once. Some people dabble in other ways, then decide to stick with their original choice. But for most people, yes, the course you just described is the typical method."
"In other words, the clones are not indecisive and weak-willed," Konan told her old friends. "It is normal and expected behavior."
"People of our world do not behave this way," Original Nagato argued.
"The people of your world are fictional," Itachi retorted. "They act as the author believes they should act, which is not at all like how people really do act."
"You are also fictional."
"Half fictional, half real, subject to the same laws that govern real people."
"In other words, everything about this world is designed for maximum convenience except for the people that occupy it."
"That is precisely why this world is so convenient: because we are not. If the world was as inconvenient as we are, the sum total of inconvenience would be great enough to clog up the plot. That would result in an utterly nonfunctional story."
"Or the people could be convenient and the setting not so."
"That would result in a functional story, but one that carries out a totally different function."
"If both the characters and the setting are set to a medium level of convenience?"
What kind of story would that look like? Itachi had to think about it. James Cameron's Avatar came to mind. "...There must be something for the audience to relate to. If neither the characters nor the setting resemble reality, then something else must. Otherwise the story will be neither functional nor nonfunctional; it will simply be ignored."
"Define functional."
"Having a strong and distinctive effect on those who create and consume it."
"A story that provokes mass hatred, then, is technically functional by your standards."
"Yes, stories like that are very successful. Any story can be disdained, but only an inspired story can provoke hatred."
Original Nagato turned to Original Yahiko. "These clones do not perceive any difference between good and bad emotions. They simply do not think as we are used to. Conventional standards of morality must be disregarded."
"Yes, yes," Itachi agreed, nodding. "We live by purple and green morality."
"I will not ask what that means."
"You'll have to learn eventually."
They all watched the dolls and the demon boy wage war against each other using elementals. The war was resolved when two elementals accidentally passed through each other, causing all combatants to gather around and stare for minutes on end. Original Nagato muttered, "I would rather not."
.
A/N: TV Tropes uses the term, "Blue and Orange Morality." But I don't like blue and orange. They clash. Blue is a quiet and peaceful color, while orange is an active and noisy one. Purple and green are both gentle and murky. They don't clash at all.
It's probably very obvious that I'm tired. I'm babbling. I'll try to do better next week. *yawn* This ocean is so nice. It's everywhere and everything all at once. I like that.
Rar.
