Two chapter update and the begining of what MANY of you have anticipated for a while


Velvette felt her eye twitch around the news. "'Wimpy human dates hot hell noble' …" Oh she was going to rip them apart one of these days. This little brat was trending far and wide while she was still known as 'small tits Velve'. HER TITS WERE NOT SMALL! "If our entire business didn't revolve around it, I would make you crash the whole internet and wipe out everyone's data Vox."

"Let's save that for the last resort. We don't need the public assuming more than they should, we control what they think." Vox grumbled. "I mean, everyone already knows, but we don't need them actually thinking about it. That's why the US government gets away with so much shit."

She growled, flicking through the trends, trying to figure out which brand of clothes would work. Maybe she needed some more potent potions sold … those would require more costly ingredients … "I need to start grabin stuff from other rings." Velvette had to rely on dumbass middle men, but there were definitely more exotic things out of pride.

"You two seem to be doing better than before." Valentino smirked cockily as he drank some wine.

"Misery and company, it's pretty much the one silver lining living in hell." Vox rolled his eyes. "And since both our cracks at the radio demon's pet human fell off, we can't afford to make another public explosion to the face without risking our image. The stocks have barely started rising again."

"Oh don't worry you two." Val chuckled. "You had your fun, but the big boy will take care of the brat."

"If your plan is to shoot him full of holes like the hookers in your last movie, then you're already going in the wrong direction." Velvette rolled her eyes. "No offense moth man, but you ain't a big brain planner unless it's through the lens of a porno script." Which was barely capable of being toilet paper on the best of days.

"Ha, you say that like I need a complex plan." The man smirked. "Sure he's a quick little scamper, but he's still a human teenager. When in doubt, throw a whore on his cock and he'll bend over like a piece of plastic.." Val grinned as he gripped his pike… and snapped it in half. "And break just as easily."

"I could be recalling it wrong, but didn't two succubus try and fail on the seduction front?"

"Please, those were amateurs that thrusted forward too fast. I can slip it in without anyone knowing before it's too late."

"And the book?" Velvette asked.

"Once I got the brat, that crazy imp with the 'mama instinct' will do and offer anything to get him back." He grinned. "And if that doesn't work… then holding that pretty little parrot in my hands will probably get mr high and mighty to bend over."

Vox scoffed. "As if he would care about one brat's life."

"He will if it's playing intercorse all the time." Val smirked. "I remember your advances made the prudish radio demon very uncomfortable."

"I never made advances at the radio fucker! It was purely business!"

"Uh huh. And the flowers and letters you keep in your closet were all business related." Velvette snickered.

"Those were out of context!" He shouted as lightning rang out.

"By who Voxy? It's all in you're handwriting!"

"I'll shove your face in a bug zapper!"

"Alright alright, I had my fun." The overlord chuckled as he left. "Don't wait up for me."

"... Why is he on the team again?" Vox asked. "I have to remind myself why I tolerate him at times."

"Cause he has the most contracts of the three of us, makes us money, and you love it when he fucks your brains out." Velvette reminded him.

"Riiight."


"AND NEXT TIME YOU SLEEP, IT CAN BE FOREVER!" Stella shouted as she slammed the door shut, once more getting a victory over her dumbass husband. How dare a loser like him try and fuck her over. She had to spend years being stuck with his sorry ass, tolerating his whining all the time. And here he goes and sleeps with an imp. A FUCKING imp of all demons.

If his cheating ass was going to fuck something, at least make it something that's worth fucking, like a Marque, or even another Prince! Not with the lowest of the lowest rabble! What, was he saying her effort to actually make an egg THAT bad!? The fucker …

She was going to get an assassin, rip that man to shreds, and laugh while she listens to him cry out for mercy and suffering! Then she'll stop the murder, only to spit in his winds and laugh in his face while a holy blade carves out his eyes and skulll for her to mount on the wall! She hated dealing with lowly rift raft like Imps and even sinners, but both were necessary for a high class weapon and a killer that could follow the cheating bastard to any ring at any time.

Who knows, maybe Stella would actually get an orgasm out of the choked up noises of him dying in his own blood. Better than his attempts in bed … or her brother … she loved Andrepheus, but not like that, the creep.

Now, how to find somone that would do whatever she wanted for money? She supposed she could just get one of her servants to look for ads … or try that new 'phone book' to see if there was something in there. Probably better, imps were loud little bastards.

Stella walked along … seeing her daughter making her way to the front door. She didn't really have much hate for the girl in question. Via was the entire purpose of their marriage after all, something that would help Stella keep all the money because all girls loved their mothers no matter what.

Come to think of it, she couldn't really think of the last moment she ever talked to the girl. It couldn't have been too long ago. Octavia was like five years old.. or was it seven, she lost count after the girl started walking. Eh, probably nothing to think about too much. "Where do you think you're going?" She asked. Might as well ask and hope the girl wasn't like Stolas in terms of taste. The cap she ware was atrocious.

Octavia turned to the woman with a curious eye. "I'm heading out to pentagram city for the day. I'll be back between seven and eight, mother."

Pentagram city? There was nothing much there other than overpopulating sinners and a few poor hellborn. A cesspool of misery that had very little redeeming quality to it other than the fact the royal family lived close by. "What reason would you have to head there for a whole day?"

"I'm hanging out with a friend." Octavia stated. "The boy from the radio."

"… Radi what now?" Was it like those new fangled phones she was still getting use to?

"Wait, you dont know-it's older than-Never mind." The girl grumbled. "I have a friend that lives there, that's all you need to know."

"Uh huh … a friend." Stella glared. Just like how Stolas 'didn't' fuck an imp once a month. "Are they an Imp?"

"No mother." She rolled her eyes.

"Loan Shark?"

"No."

"Belphamat? I don't want hairy grandchildren."

"For fucks sake mom, I'm not fucking anybody!" The girl grumbled.

"Just make sure you don't embarrass yourself like your wimp of a father, you're better than that Octavia." Stella told them. "You're only like six years old."

"… Are you shittin me-I'm seventeen!"

"Oh." She blinked. "... But you're still so short."

"That's because everyone in hell is freakishly tall! … Barring Iruma."

".. What kind of utter rubbish parent names their child something as trashy as Iruma?" Sounded like someone gave up halfway misspelling Erma.

"... Goodbye." They walked out the door.

Honestly, where were the manners on that young girl … and where was the phone book so she could murder her husband?


Loona groaned as Millie continued to try to run out with a knife. "My tot's FAR too young to be datin anyone!"

"Millie, it's not a date! It's just a social hang out!" The fatty cried out as he was thrown into a wall.

"That's how courtin starts Moxxie! First you hang out, then you hold hands, then five months later their rolling in the hey expecting five youngins!"

"Pretty sure it's more of a year long process then a month one." Iruma muttered as he rubbed Lonna's head, the only thing stopping her from taking the knife and stabbing the bitch in the throat. "And please stop trying to hurt my friend."

"Wow, two whole friends." Loona said semi sarcastically. "Maybe by the end of the month you'll pick it up to three."

"You really think so?" The kid's eyes sparked with enthusiasm that did not belong in hell in the slightest.

"Look at you, finally dropping your standards to having three as a far off dream." Blitz grinned. "I knew you'd finally learn to adjust down here. So, what the heck are you and the bird bitch gonna be up to?"

"Just taxidermy and a cafe, nothing serious." The kid shrugged. "We don't really know each other all that well enough, I mean, we did just meet yesterday."

"See Millie, it's nothing romantic in the slightest, they're just looking at dead animals." Moxxie pointed out.

"Not if they hunt and stab the little critters together, then it's the most romantic setting you can have!" The bitch shouted. "In wrath, that's half of how all marriages start there!"

"You are waaaay too into this." Loona grumbled. It was just like Blitz, you're too 'precious and innocent' for a date. It's fucking hell, let them do what they wanted. "He's fourteen, and unless you've been blind deaf and dumb for the past few weeks, you know romance ain't exactly on the kid's mind."

"The most I know about it comes from a manga I used to help with the coloring for." Iruma nodded. "It made me feel nice and fuzzy, but that's fiction, so I can't exactly expect that in real life." Fair enough.

"Then let me give you a solid piece of advice that's perfectly applicable in real life. Especially when it comes to having out with bird royalty." Blitz leaned against the kid. "No matter what, protect every single hole on your body, cause they'll find a way to stick something in it in every single kinky way they can imagine, and every single way you can't imagine.

"I make sure to do that with most of the people I meet." Iruma deadpanned, looking at the clock. "Alright, she should be there any minute now. I'm gonna go wait by the front door. Bye everyone." The kid pulled back his hand as he left the office.

"No, tot, please, at least give it another year before you start holding hands!" Millie shouted as the door was closed on her. "My baby's gonna be deflowered!"

"I'd suggest you'd just get a real kid but I know your the one pegging him in bed due to his weak shooting game.." Loona rolled her

"Completely true Loonie Toonie." Blitz nodded. "Sides, kid knows how to run when there's trouble, he'll be fine enough."

"Crude comments aside, I strangely enough agree. I believe we can trust him to keep himself out of harm's way." The little bastard grunted. "Although.…. I didn't want to make presumptions while he was in the room… but I can't for the life of me figure out his sexuality." The fatty raised his hand.

"He's a teenager, you'll figure out what he's into eventually." Blitz scoffed. "Besides, he can only have sex with pornstars."

"Really Blitz!?" The bitch screamed out in rage.

"I'm not being mean, I'm saying that because he's constantly being broadcasted across hell. Anybody that shags up with the kid is gonna have their steamy night of passion or even just a little innocent handjob action for all of hell to hear. No one but a pornstar would want that kind of attention on them over an easy lay."

That sent the room into a bit of contemplative silence. "So what you're saying is that we can keep track of the little tot and that skank and make sure nothing naughty happens!" Millie cheered. "Great idea Blitz!"

"Because that's how a happily married woman acts on a weekend. Spying on two teenagers." Loona rolled her eyes. "Clearly no issues with her own marriage whatsoever."

"Maybe it's cause Mox is too impotent to make his own." Blitz shrugged.

"Would you stop making it sound like we can't have children!?" The fatty shouted. "There's many factors that go into deciding that kind of thing that me and Millie have been discussing at length."

"So you're saving up cash to get dong extension surgery, I get you Mox." Blitz patted the fatty on the back. "But with long dongs comes long responsibility. You're obligated to fuck anything with a pulse wherever you go, and I'm concerned about your stamina if that's the route you're going."

"... Some days, I despise you."


Iruma looked up at the sign. "Stylish Occult …" Not the strangest thing he saw in hell, but it was one of the more on the nose ones. He leaned against the front window, humming to himself as he waited for Octavia … his friend …

It was so weird. He had his first friends in hell. Loona and Octavia. Maybe if Iruma just straight up asked Husk, he would be his friend … then again, the guy was usually more the grumpy type than the friendly … but so was Loona and she honestly seemed less like the type to wanna be his friend. Maybe it had something to do with her younger age. He never saw her hang out with anyone else that wasn't at the office. Maybe she was lonely just like he was.

Octavia though, felt like uncharted territory, more so than with Loona. On the one hand, she was the first demon who he's met that wasn't hostile at him at all … unless Rosie counted, who Iruma still had mixed feelings about. His first genuine meal, and his comfortable and practical clothes, came from a cannibal …

But … this was hell … wasn't being nice just supposed to be a cover? Alastor gave the biggest smile and he was the biggest monster Iruma knew. Nifty was unassuming with her little kid appearance but a complete psycho otherwise. Millie acted 'motherly', but she was a cold blooded murderer who had no second thoughts about kicking around and mutlilating a corpse, and Moxxie wasn't too far off, even if he was slightly more moral than the others.

Although after Millie saved him from that cannibal mom and Loona giving him all those tasty clothes.. maybe this was just one of those 'give and take' situations. Octavia was nice to him and gave him a warm hug that made him feel lighter. At the least, iruma would give the owl girl a chance.

"Iruma!" He saw the girl wave to him with a smile.

"Hey Octavia. Nice to see you." He decided to wave back.

"Sorry, I would have texted that I'm close, but I don't know your number." She said.

"Oh don't worry, I'm not allowed to own a phone."

The owl girl blinked. "Could have sworn the imps were more open minded then that."

"No, Alastor." Iruma explained. "After I walked in to do an errand of picking up food from Rosie's, he broke the phone I borrowed from Moxxie and said that if I ever owned another device with a screen, my leg would be next." Not like he really needed one when he didn't have many people to call anyway. "Besides, the broadcasts pretty much keeps everyone informed where I am. I have random strangers in Cannibal town and Imp city that know my sleep schedule." He ducked under a bullet. "Not to mention the random assassins that think they can get famous by offing me."

"Yeeesh, that… that sounds awful." Octavia winced. "Makes my issues with my dad feel small and insignificant by comparison."

"It's fine, I'm sure everyone has problems in their own way. The grass is greener analogy and all that." He shrugged. "So … ready to head inside?"

"More than ready, follow me." The taller girl nodded as she lead him inside. "Aside from the star room at my house, this is the only place I can really get a quiet thought to myself. Half the week I'm over here thinking about life and it's inevitable depressing outcomes."

Iruma glanced around the store. Black books, dark clothes, multiple stylized knives, candles in the shape of skulls with admittedly nice scents. "So is this what goths are into?"

"Probably. I just find it aesthetically soothing." Octavia shrugged. "You got your demons who insist that goth and emo's are completely different, when in reality it's just one side acting more pretentious than the other. Depending on the year, that side is always subject to change. Like, why label it one way, you're just making life more complicated. It's freaking hell, don't think about it."

"I see …" So it was like hot topic. "So since we're in hell, what's the likelihood of them actually being cursed and could kill me if I touch it, vs just looking that way?"

"Sixty-fourty chance, but don't worry, they're minor curses to avoid lawsuits." Octavia snickered as she picked up a little shrunken head. "Like this little guy right here. Pick it up and your skin becomes chalk white for the whole day. Perfect for anyone that doesn't want the effort of full body makeup."

"Oooh, I get it." He nodded. No matter what, Iruma wouldn't have to worry about threats to life. "What about this?" He pointed out to a skull candle, picking it up

"That will make every sneeze you have light up like a laser show if you light it up." She demonstrated as she lit it up.

"Really?" Iruma sniffed it. "Huh, I don't really feel any different-ACHOO!" Blue flowers like fireworks lit up the room. "Oooh, pretty… and it didn't even hurt!"

"For you maybe…" A goat demon with a pentagram tatto all over his face responded at the counter with soot all over his face.

"Sorry!"

"Eh, it's alright. First timers always get excited. You're like the fifth customer this week to do this. I don't even feel pain anymore…. Mainly because I carry this." The demon held up an upside down cross necklace.

"Wow, you were right. This place is really calming, soothing even." No immediate threats, quiet atmosphere, and the demons didn't even get mad at you.

"Yep, pretty cool, right?" Octavia smiled leading him through the store. "Hell might be… well hell, but for Hellborn, it's just home. There's at least ONE thing we can find that makes life more tolerable, considering I'll spend about five hundred years or soo sitting around wondering what to do with my life."

"I thought demons were immortal?" Iruma asked. "You know, eternal torment?"

"That applies to sinners and a couple of hellborn." Octavia explained. "My dad's about thirty six … which is actually a bit weird considering that legends about him and most of the goetia have been around since the seventeenth century. Family history is a bit weird." She shook her head. "Anyways, we live longer than most humans do, but even we have lifespans that end at some point."

"Oh …" He looked up. "... Does that mean one day you'll vanish without anywhere to go?"

"Pretty much." She nodded. "There's no double hell to go to, unless god was hiding a secret F U for the universe."

"... That sounds kind of nice in its own right." He smiled. "I know there's a lot of joy you can have in life, but to just vanish away and no longer suffer … it's kind of like a nap."

".. You are a very strange boy." Octavia chuckled.

"I get that a lot." He said as they made their way to a massive, three headed dog with a vacant stare in its eyes, unblinking and unmoving.

"Hey, it ain't a bad thing. In hell, it's kind of hard to actually BE strange, and I ain't counting the new ways of perviness that sinners are always coming up with." She nodded as she looked up to the dog, and petted its chin. "Aww, who's a good boy Cerebi? Still guarding the underworld from restless spirits?" It said nothing. "I knew you'd keep this place safe, cause your a big scary guard dog, yes you are, yes you are."

It still didn't move. "... Are you petting a taxidermy animal?"

"Just because they're stuffed doesn't mean we can't show it a little love." She smirked. "After all, they had to be born first and live their lives in order to make it to this stage. Not showing any kind of respect would just be a waste."

"Huh.. I never thought of it like that." Iruma said, looking into the dog's eyes.. Before bowing respectfully. "Thank you for being born so you could be stuffed."

"Pfft…" Octavia chuckled. "So formal."

"Sorry, I'm.. I'm new to this." Iruma chuckled a bit. "I learned early on that being polite was a good way to get ahead in life. Thanking others, help when they need it … help when they don't." Because they said certain things. "And never curse."

"Well that last one you might as well forget about. It's hell, EVERYONE curses at some point. Even if it's a little slip up, you'll curse eventually." Octavia grinned. "And I know taxidermy isn't for everyone.. But I can't help but love it. It's talking all that life's given you, and allowing you to tell a story even after its death." Octavia eyed a stuffed lizard with fascinated eyes. "No matter how small or insignificant, there's always a story to tell."

"A story after its death …" Iruma looked at one of the animals curiously. "I used to think that there wasn't anything after death. That nothing's left but bones that turn to dust … now I know that souls exist."

"If it's any consolation, most demons don't even know for sure if god exists given how messed up the world really is." Octavia smirked.

"If he did exist, he'd be like ... the universe's worst parent if hell exists." Iruma chucked. "And given my own parents that's a high bar." Good thing he was already an atheist. "Forget you god …" He turned to a stuffed bird. "It's so lifelike."

"Well ... that's because they're life in a way." She grinned as she turned to what looked like a little hydra. "They preserve the skin so perfectly so even when all the guts and bones are gone, they're still intact to tell the maker's story."

"I admit, usually when I'm hunting animals, I mostly go for the meat inside." Iruma nodded. "And then afterwards, if it's big enough, I take the skin and use it as a blanket for the night. Only problem is I can't get the smell of blood to wash out."

"You usually use special chemicals while making sure no small chunks are left attached to the skin." She explained. "And then afterwards you gotta wash it thoroughly so those chemicals don't melt your own skin off."

"Right." He's had experience with dangerous chemicals before. "You have some really cool interests Octavia.. I don't fully understand them… but I'd like to know more."

The girl blushed a little red, before scratching her beak. "Thanks, but considering your life, it's probably nothing special.."

"Well, if it's special to you, then it's special to me." He insisted. "Plus, aside from my life always being in danger, I'm not all that interesting. Usually after a week, people tend to forget me." Any time he came back to school the students and even the teachers forget he existed… heck there was one time his own parents forgot…. That was the calmest week he had before they dragged him back home. "I was always focusing on living one day to the next, so the only real hobbies that aren't involved with some job I had to take up, involve tinkering with small electronics, eating, and reading whatever Manga I could get my hands on."

"Man-what?" She questioned.

"Oh, um … comic book?" That's what Americans called it, right?

"Like for super heroes?"

"In Japan it's more varied. From shonen action stuff, to mystery. I used to be an editor for a romantic series." He chuckled. "Reading that last one in particular used to give me the closest I could feel to good times. Just.. two people who could find happiness in the simpleness of life.."

"...You don't say…" Octavia blushed again for some reason. Maybe it was a fever or something she was fighting through. Iruma did that whenever he was trying to avoid paying for medicine.

He looked at a stuffed weasel. "I swear, these things are so real. They even managed to make the foam look like real rabies."

"Grrrrr."

"... IT FOLLOWED ME FROM THE HOSPITAL!" Iruma screamed as it jumped on his face. "AAAAHHHH! DANGER! DANGER! I CAN'T AFFORD GETTING A RABIES SHOT!"

"Hold on, I'll get the cursed snake musk!"


Kitty giggled in silence, holding up a bag of master's favorite toys. "Thank you Kitty, you know me so well." Valentino smirked as he held up the toys. "Listen up whores, bitches, and skanks. Today your daily dose of coke is either doubled or empty." The man told the skimpily dressed workers. "Voxy and Velv want this kid fucked over, and your job is to do it by any means necessary. Both him and that pretty little bird on his shoulder, cause honestly, the slice of life custie shopping shit is enough to make me want to slit her head open. Who the fuck cares about romance in hell? It's hell, you should be fucking everything with a pulse"

One of the workers looked like they wanted to say something about that last part, but another kept their hand over their mouth, likely to avoid the master's cock in it later. "Do we know where the prey is?" One hooker questioned.

"Exiting that alley. According to the stream, they just fought off some rabid doggo or whatever, so their minds are frantic and ripe for the picking." The master smirked. "Work your magic, find their kinks, and break them down piece by piece until neither of them can even walk.

"Yes sir." They saluted, going off.

"Kitty, get me my chair. I wanna lounge while I watch that boy get fucked over." The master commanded. They nodded as they stretched themselves out. She would let out how much she'd agreed, but Master took out her vocal capabilities, because in his words, 'best bitches are the silent ones'. "Honestly, I don't know why Vox and Velv tried to make this so personal. Why put in all that effort to fuck someone up when you got an army of ho's to fuck them over for you?"

No clue master, no clue. They looked down, seeing the boy and girl emerge from that alley. "That thing was … a LOT more vicious than it sounded in the broadcast." The bird bitch said while panting.

"I know. I think it's mad it got trapped in that taser vent when me and Barbie ditched it." The bitch boy grumbled as he scratched his head. "Thanks for getting it off… what was it that you used?"

"Mothballs." The girl held up a bag. "They weren't even cursed, they're just normal mothballs."

"That makes sense. I've had to spread those out during my gardening and laundry jobs. I've seen them get more people sick than the animals they're supposed to stop." The kid laughed with a huff. "You're a lot more survival ready than being a rich girl makes you look."

"Oh, is that a problem? You got a problem with rich girls?"

"Oh no, I didn't mean- it's just your dad's rich so I thought-"

"Relax, just yanking your chain." She chuckled.

"... If that's an expression I'm not familiar with it." The boy was definitely a moron.

"Idiot." Master rolled his eys.

"It means I'm joking." The bird bitch laughed. "I've never really cared about money. Probably cause I was born into it, or maybe because my mom loves money and I don't want to end up like her with her rich bitch attitude." The girl shook her head. "And for the longest time I thought she wasn't that bad cause I assumed my dad loved her, and if he loved her, then she had to be a good person somewhere deep down."

"Ah … I guess that's another unfamiliar thing for me." The brat chuckled. "Parents arguing with one another …" He turned his head. "If there's anything good I could ever say about my parents, it's that they love each other to a fault. They'll make me run through hot coal and tightrope over sharks, but they wouldn't let each other so much as fold paper without the other in fear of them getting cut from it."

"… That's oddly sweet in its own fucked up way." The girl smiled.

"I know right? There was this one time where-"

"Hey there shortie." One of the whores walked up to the boy with a grin. "My tank top ain't fittin right, mind helpin me with it?" There we are, hook line and-

"Sure." The boy walked around them, messing woman's clothes. "Man, you have these things on tight, must be uncomfortable. You gotta loosen the straps at least a small bit."

"That's not what I-oooh, that actually feels kinda nice." The whore fiddles around with her bra. "My boobs don't feel like they're dragging down my whole chest."

"You're welcome." The kid smiled in oblivion.

Valentino twitched a bit. "Gonna be docking her pay …"

"You work in woman's fashion or something?" Bird bitch chuckled.

"I worked in retail. Pay's good, but it's a nightmare at the end of November … Black Friday brings out the animal in man." He shivered.

"I'm all animal, all the time, pretty boy." A gator demon man slut sullked up to the kid, licking his lips. "And it would be a great help to me if you check inside." He showed of all his teeth. Oooh, vore, one of the more common obscure fetishes. And since the kid was foriegn, he was more likely to be into-

"You got a rotten tooth right here." The kid pointed to one of the gator's teeth. "I can get that for you."

"Wait, no, I didn't want-" The kid yanked the black fang out of the demon's mouth. "FUCK! OH FUCK! …. Oh, pain's fading pretty fast." They noted.

"You're welcome … unless you're a sinner and the tooth just grows back with the rot, in which case, sorry for the useless effort."

"Turn his pelt into a gator skinned condom." Valentino grumbled as he squeezed the arm rests of his chair and dented them.

Kitty nodded as the bird girl chuckled. "Wow, aren't you a skilled guy?"

"You kind of have to be when you're stuck at the bottom." The boy nodded as they walked.

"And I'm happy to be meeting you." One of the girls went up to the Goetia, giving her a puffy lipped smirk. "I must say, a royal visage does things to a woman like me …"

"Daddy issues?" The bird girl spoke out.

"... YEEESSSSSS I'M SUCH A WRECKKKKK!" The slut cried out as she leaned on the goetia as tears fell from her eyes like a facet.

"There there, we've all been there at one point." The boy and girl patted her back. "Well, parents for me, but if you're anything like Octavia, then maybe there's some hope for improvement."

The slut sniffed. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I mean, chances are your dad's either out there right now…. Or dead from extermination." The goetia nodded. "Either way, that's not on you. Your life is in your hands… I'm assuming."

"Are they really pulling out this sappy, lame ass, third act revision?" Val growled out, his breath mixing with smoke as he panted with rage.

"Yeah, yeah you're right!" The slut stood up proudly. "...I mean, Valentino owns my soul so I still have to do what he says, but other than that, the world is my oyster!"

"Ah, you have an awful boss too, I've been there." The blue haired brat nodded. "My advice? Try and take up drinking. It helps take the edge off when you're already dead and don't have to worry about headaches when people want to murder you. Or just talk with people with similar experiences." He nodded. "Plus unlike me, your voice isn't broadcasted all over hell, so you can get away with insulting him behind his back."

"True that. Thanks you two!" She smiled as she walked away.

"When did all these sluts turn into such sad sacks!?" Master shouted.

"… Do you feel weird too?" The human questioned. "Like all the good people in hell just sort of collected into one spot?"

"Eh, probably just a coincidence." The goetia shrugged. "That or whoever hired these hookers is just a really crappy pimp."

"Is that the same thing as a sugar daddy that I keep hearing about?"

"Pretty much, except pimps are twice as pathetic."

Valentino leapt down from his chair, grabbing the bird girl by the throat. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU BIRD BITCH!?"

"Ahh giant moth!" The blue headed bitch boy shouted as he was granted by the master with the other hand.

"You two are by far the most pathetic, smultzy third grade idea of a romance movie script I've ever met, and listening to your cutsie conversations is the biggest turn off in all of hell!"

"Heh… so… what you're saying.. is that.. you have performance issues.." The bird bitch snickered between gasps.

"Oh, let me hear you say that once I force your little boy toy here to suck every single cock I have in my studio!"

"You know … I never liked the idea of fighting …" The girl got out, rearing back her hand. "But one punch against … a bitch like you's fine."

The master cackled. "Oh, you think I'm scared of some prissy, looser, inexperienced brat!" He began growing, shifting. "Who doesn't even know what real pain-"

Splat

… Kitty stared at the upper portion of Val's body that landed next to them. "…." The kid starred silently. "… Wow… Loona was spot on with that power scaling speech."

"I try not to show off. It really isn't worth the effort most of the time." The goetia princess shrugged.

"… At least you saved us. That's a lot more than I can say for our usual encounters. It's mostly luck." The boy chuckled.

"Eh, I make my own luck." She held the boy by the hand. "Come on. I'll treat you to the nearest cafe. I've heard about your black hole of a stomach and know you're probably hungry."

"There's going to be food!? Awesome!" The bitch boy cheered like he wasn't just in life threatening peril.

Kitty turned back to the top portion of the master, offering a bag of the hard drugs. "Just… drag me home… and grab my legs…. I can't.. feel my dick…"


Octavia watched as Iruma snacked down meal after meal. "Are you sure you aren't magic? This has to be defying the displacement of space or something."

"I don't know why people keep saying that. I've just trained myself to pack it." The human smiled as he sacred down another plate.. he really did have the cutest smile. Seeing him be happy… made her feel more happy.. like the past few months she's felt with her family has disappeared. "You sure this isn't too much? I can't pay for anything really."

"Rich girl, remember? She grinned. "It's my parents' money, go nuts." Either she was taking it from her dad, and they'd have an excuse to actually spend time, or it would screw over her mom.

"Friends are awesome." He spoke in an adorably excited tone. "Thanks again for taking me out.. I think today's the best day in hell I've had… and knowing Alastor, he'll probably do something to me to make up for that tomorrow." He rolled his eyes but still kept his smile. "Eh, screw it, I don't care about that now."

"Good.. although I don't think Alastor's going to be as mad as you think." Octavia noted. "You did just broadcast one of the V's getting vivisected."

"The who now?" Iruma titlted his head.

"Vox, Velvette, Valentino." She explained. "The Vs. A trio of surprisingly well knitted overlords." From what Octavia red up, most of the time it was just individuals that respected other gangs from a distance.

"Ah, guess that makes since." Iruma scratched his chin. "What do they even do? I know personally that Vox and Velvette are scary, but i don't know much about them other then they do something with tv and clothes."

"From what I know, they're relatively newcomers to the overlord business, or at least only came into overlord status a couple years Ago." She explained. "Vox controls tvs, Velvette controls social media, and Valentino controls porn."

"So useless stuff?" He responded without any hesitation.

"Pffft, so brazen." Octavia cackled. "You are either an adorable brave.. or a cutely ignorant kid."

"Maybe it's both." Iruma shrugged. "Back on earth I was always trying to survive, so that didn't leave time for recreation. And any dirty magazine i did fine I burned into a campfire for kindling."

"I see …" Any magazine … that did bring up a question. From the succubi, to this … "Are.." Octavia felt a bit embarrassed asking this though. "Are.. are you ace?"

"…. Like a card?"

"Hah.." of course he didn't know. "What I mean.. are you like… do you like.. you know.. like-like relationships with people.. are you into anything.. like that?"

"Oh… that." Iruma scratched his cheek. "I.. I don't know. I've never been in a position where someone wanted to be romantic with me. I used to work on this manga, and working on those drawlings did give me warm and fuzzy feelings on the inside…" He smiled warmly with a nostalgic tone in his voice. "I guess… I would like to experience something like that, but.. well, I'm in hell. Probably not possible for me anymore." He stated. "Heck, couldn't even experience it on earth. Never met a guy or girl that liked me like that … so I just.. never took it too seriously."

"Ah.." she nodded. So he wasn't ace or aro… but didn't actively pursue it. "Who knows, maybe one day it'll work out for you."

"I'm not counting on it. It's not like anyone would actually be into me." The boy chuckled. "I'm just some dumb human kid who has everything said around him spoken to all of hell."

"…. Then I'm glad my mom doesn't listen to the radio.." Octavia smirked as leaned down.. and pecked him on the cheek.

Iruma paused eating his food, a confused look on his face, along with a small flush. "Do …"

"Just… my way of saying thanks." She nodded. "For being my first friend.

"… Okay." He returned to his smile. "Thank you for being my second. And for helping me. And for showing me a fun time."

"My pleasure Iruma." Octavia…. Had that fuzzy feeling in her chest. She wasn't sure exactly what it was… but she knew she didn't want to let go of it anytime soon. She didn't want to let go of Iruma anytime soon. "My pleasure."

He deserved to be happy… and maybe.. they could be happy together.


Val growled as his legs finally began working again. "Fucking bitch should have just shut up and took it …"

"And now the world thinks Valentino can't control his whores." Velvette noted. "We told you to have a more solid plan, and look where it got you.

"Oh fuck off you paper doll slut!"

"Least I'm not the walking broken condemn!"

"Fashion failure!"

"Limp dick moth!"

"High heel whore!"

"Oh your one to talk, you tacky fishnet wearing bitch!"

"You take that back!"

"Hey now." Vox spoke up, getting in between them. "We already have to deal with annoying enemies and low sales, don't add fuel to the fire at the moment." The two of them growled, looking away from one another. "No wonder the radio demon got him as a pet. They have the same taste in life."

"It was so annoying to see in real life. Those two were acting like they were in a rom com sitcom it was disgustingly wholesome, just bleh!" Valentino gagged. "And that little birdy bitch! How the fuck was I suppose to know she actually had bark to her bite!? She's just some emo rich priss! She shouldn't even be able to walk out on her own, let alone throw a fucking punch!"

"There's a reason no one fucks with the princess of hell, even if she is a low life goodie two shoes with no spine." Velve rolled her eyes. "Well, we're three for three and now the laughing stock of hell… at this rate it'll take a whole year for us to fully recover."

"That or extermination wipes out most of the mockers and we focus on influencing the newcomers that come into hell afterwards." Vox grumbled. "Speaking of, I've finished the bunker. Won't do shit if the angels become aware of it, but we should be able to shove a lot of soul contracts deep inside so we don't loose any MORE revenue."

"Aww, I was going to turn it into a private sex dungeon." Val pouted.

"You have like five of those already."

"Can never have too many." Especially to take his mind off the absolute fuck up today. "So we're just going to take a break from trying to fuck with the radio demon's pet human?"

"If we're lucky, this extermination will be the last time we hear from either of them. ". Vox grumbled.

"Fuck, the other overlords are going to hold this over our heads for fucking ever." Velv muttered.

"That they are …" Val grumbled. "That they are …" Sometimes, life really was hell.