Family
Chapter 343 Wiz Cops 1
By: Major144
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, expect the OCs. This is just a story for fun.
(Author's Note: Howdy folks here's the first part of a small comedy arc. Special shoutout to guest for coming up with a funny line. Hope you enjoy it.)
In Wizard City a TV crew was putting the final finishing touches on the first episode of Wizard Cops. A film crew had spent weeks following Wizard Police Officers around as they conducted their business. The crew had filmed some good footage and were ready to show the rest of Ooo their work. A bunch of advertisements had been released about the show and a bunch of people were excited and looking forward to the show. The last bit of editing was done and the episode was finally ready. A few nights later the episode was aired and all around Ooo a bunch of people were watching their TVs. A theme song began to play.
Wiz Cops Wiz Cops
Cast the law on you
Cast the law on you
Wiz Cops Wiz Cops
The first bit of the episode showed two Wizard Police Officers walking down a street inn Wizard City together. One was a man the other was a woman. The female officer turned to the camera.
"I'm Officer Jan and this is my partner Officer Ward. Right now we are investigating reports of a suspicious person we believe is illegal dealings magical objects and substances."
The two officers went down an alleyway and saw a short green humanoid buying a wand from a tall skeleton wearing a robe and hood named Reaper.
"Halt! Wizard Police!" Yelled Ward.
The green humanoid dropped the wand and ran off screaming. Reaper tried to run away and ended up tripping on his robe and falling to the ground. Ward grabbed Reaper from behind and stood him up.
"This is police brutality!" Yelled Reaper as Jan went over and began to frisk him.
Jan began to take a bunch of things out from Reaper's robe. She removed a bag of magic rings, cursed daggers, wands, magic medallions, a jar with a bunch of newt eyes in it, a few tiny dark spell books, a couple of demon hearts, a jar full of nasty little heart shaped bugs called blood gnats, a few phoenix feathers, a unicorn horn, a rainicorn horn, a jar that had Tiny Manticore in it, a crystal ball, a few glowing green orbs called glorbs that enhanced people's abilities, a thought cannon wand, a bottle full of cyclops tears, a soul stone, and a couple of baggies full of sparkling white powder. Jan opened one of the baggies and tasted the powder.
"Pixie dust."
"That's not mine! I was um...holding it all for...a um friend." Said Reaper.
"No his not officers! That stuff is totally his. Also he captured me and was planning to sell me on the black market." Said Tiny Manticore.
"Shut up!" Hissed Reaper.
"Well it looks like we're going to have to arrest you. Let's see we're arresting for dealing various magical objects and ingredients and for kidnapping a creature with intent to sell on the black market. Yeah I say your guilty." Said Jan as she freed Tiny Manticore.
"Your under arrest." Said Ward as he slapped some shackles on Reaper and began to haul the protesting skeleton away.
Jan took out a pen and notepad as Tiny Manticore filled her in on his capture by Reaper.
"I think this case is closed." Said Jan as she looked at the camera and winked.
The scene flashed black and a new image appeared. Two male Wizard Cops were walking through the market with one of the Eliminators in tow. One of the cops turned to face the camera.
"I'm officer Bob and this is my partner Tom. The big tin man with us is the first of a series of robot guards called Eliminators. This one with us is called Eliminator Leader because he leads the other Eliminators and we're taking him on a field test. Right now we're investigating reports of a wizard that's been causing problems in the market. Apparently there's been a wizard with a really nasty temper that has a tendency to turn people who accidentally bump into him into chickens. The perp always manages to sneak before anyone can grab him, but hopefully will be able to catch him today."
The little group passed a clothing stall and Tom cast a look at it and Eliminator Leader.
"You think it would be alright to get Eliminator some clothes?" Asked Tom.
"Why?" Asked Bob.
"To help tell Eliminator Leader from the rest of the Eliminators. They all look the same." Said Tom.
"Fine. Will get him a hat or something once the job is done." Said Bob as the group moved through the crowd.
There was a zapping sound in the distance followed by some screams and chicken sounds.
"Crime detected." Boomed Eliminator Leader as he stormed forward.
The Wizard Police followed the robot through the crowd and saw a confused looking chicken running around in circles and a tall wizard with a long white beard and eyebrows wearing a grey cloak and pointy hat trying to walk away from the scene. The wizard also had grey skin a long curved lumpy nose, yellow teeth, and black broken and jagged nails that seemed to be smoking. The smoking nails were a sign of a spell that had been casted, making the tall wizard the target.
"I think we found our guy." Said Bob.
The three cops quickly moved forward through the crowd. They quickly got in front of the wizard and cut his retreat off. The wizard scowled at the three cops.
"Suspect identified as Cranky Wizard." Said Eliminator Leader.
"Sir did you just turn someone into a chicken?" Asked Tom.
"I did, so what? That punk bumped right into me. Being turned into a chicken should teach him some manners." Sneered Cranky Wizard.
"Sir you can't do that. You just broke several laws. We're going to have to arrest you." Said Bob.
"Arrest this!" Yelled Cranky Wizard as he fired a blast of magic at the cops.
A swirling black vortex appeared in front of Eliminator Leader's mouth and it sucked the blast in and vanished. Cranky Wizard blinked his eyes in confusion as Eliminator Leader raised his righthand up and turned it into a blaster. Eliminator Leader fired an energy blast at Cranky Wizard that hit him and turned the wizard into a grey feather chicken that cried out in surprise. The robot then pointed his laser at the chicken running around in circles in the market and zapped it. The chicken turned into a man that looked very relieved. The crowd cheered for Eliminator Leader as Tom conjured up a bird cage and captured the chicken that was Cranky Wizard.
"Nice job Eliminator Leader." Said Bob congratulating the robot.
Eliminator Leader nodded his head in thanks and then went over to a nearby clothes and sunglass booth. He picked himself some dark sunglasses and then he grabbed a large black leather jacket and put it on. Bob and Tom inspected the robot's new attire and nodded their heads in approval. Eliminator Leader looked at the crowd and then began to march through it, until he stopped in front of a nervous looking old witch. The witch was named Morganna and she had blue skin with dark blue warts, a yellow tooth that stuck out from her upper jaw, a pointy chin and nose, and a big black bushy unibrow. Morganna dressed in a blue ragged dress with yellow and black stockings and sleeves, black shoes, and a black horned headdress with a big yellow M on the front of it.
"What's going on here?" Asked Bob as he and Tom caught up to Eliminator Leader.
"This witch here is planning to infect non magical girls with witch worms to turn them into witches. She most likely plans to train them for some nefarious." Said Eliminator Leader.
"That's absurd!" Sputtered Morganna.
"Miss if you don't mind we're going to need to search you." Said Bob.
They searched Morganna and found a couple of witch worms.
The witch worms were about a foot long with red eyes mouths and witch hats.
"Care to explain?" Asked Tom.
"Fine I was planning to turn a few princesses into witches! The world needs more witches and less technology! This city is really going rotten if it's using robots to police it." Said Morganna.
"I am no simple robot." Said Eliminator Leader as it sucked up one of the witch worms.
"Your going to be a pile of junk real soon!" Yelled Morganna as she fired a blast of energy at the robot.
The attack managed to hit Eliminator Leader and knocked him to the ground. Bob and Tom pulled out their wands and began to fire them at Morganna, who managed to dodge their attacks and began fleeing the scene, but only made it a few yards before the Eliminator Leader got up and fired a energy blast at the fleeing witch that struck her in the back and knocked her to the ground stunned. Tom went over to Morganna and slapped some shackles on her.
"Target is captured and another threat is eliminated." Said Eliminator Leader.
The scene changed again and then it showed Officers Jan and Ward entering a large burger joint to deal with a wizard causing a big scene. The wizard causing the trouble was called Naked Wizard. He was a pink skinned humanoid and like the name applied he was very naked. Thankfully he had a large and long beard that went down all the way to his feet and the beard covered his groin. Naked Wizard had read a bunch of old news articles talking about nudist colonies and had watched some old karate movies, where the fighters removed a good portions of their clothes. This lead the wizard into believing that nudity automatically made a person stronger, so he became a nudist. Naked Wizard was currently throwing a fit about the burger joint's clothing policy. The worker behind the counter kept telling Naked Wizard, no shirt no shoes no service, which only seemed to upset Naked Wizard.
"How dare you deny me service and force clothes on to me! Naked is who I am!" Declared Naked Wizard.
"Sorry sir, but those are the rules." Said the clerk.
"Oh yeah. Fine! Then everyone is going to be naked here!" Shouted Naked Wizard as he began to unleash bolts of magic that struck customers and their clothes magical flew off leaving them embarrassed and naked.
Black censor bars appeared on the helpless victims as the camera looked at them.
"No shirt. No shoes. NO PROBLEM!" Laughed Naked Wizard.
"Hold it right there pal! Your under arrest for a crazy abuse of magic and indecent exposure!" Said Jan as she and Ward pointed their wands at Naked Wizard.
"You'll never catch me! Naked is how I roll!" Declared Naked Wizard.
Jan and Ward fired their wands at Naked Wizard, but instead of energy blast they fired clothes at the wizard. Naked Wizard proved himself to be a nimble nudist and dodged a bunch of the shots fired at him. He laughed as he jumped about, but then he let at a startled cry as a bright pink bra hit him in the chest and strapped itself onto him. Before Naked Wizard could do anything a pair of stiff pants hit him and strapped themselves on.
"NNNNNOOOOOO! I've been PANTS!" Cried Naked Wizard as he tried to take the clothes off and ended up falling on his face.
Ward went over and handcuffed Naked Wizard and Jan went about using her wand to return the clothes to the customers.
The show cut to a commercial break.
To be continued.
Glossary
Samurai Jack: Cranky Wizard
Atomic Betty: Morganna
Ok K.O. Let's be Heroes: Glorb
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy: witch worm
The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack: blood gnats
