Family
Chapter 457 Gods and Trouble
By: Major144
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is just a story for fun.
Aboard the Cash Crusader, the Salvation Rangers were taking Mack's advice and were looking to acquire weapons and gear from the ship's shop. They stopped by the gift shop first and bought themselves some colored shirts that matched their masks before heading to the item shop. The Salvation Rangers searched the item shop and saw several items they liked, but they were all out of their price range. The team was pretty much broke.
"Well this sucks." Said Salvation Beige.
"Don't worry guys, I have a plan. We just need to get a sponsor to back us up, so we can get the money, then the gear, and the fame of being heroes." Said Salvation Red.
"Who we going to get to sponsor us?" Asked Salvation Black.
"I say we get a bar or beer company to sponsor us, so that way we can have all the drinks we want whenever." Said Salvation Pink.
"We're not doing that. We're going to need to be sponsored by someone who is respectful, who has influence, has resources, and is well connected. And I know just the guy." Said Salvation Red.
"I still think my idea about being sponsored by a bar or beer company would be a great idea." Grumbled Salvation Pink.
"I second that." Said Salvation Beige.
"Knock it off you guys." Said Salvation Blue.
The team headed out of the item shop and asked around for Hu$tlebone$. They eventually found him in a large conference room with Lami.
"Well. Well. What can I do for you boys?" Asked Hu$tlebone$.
"Oh great Hu$tlebone$ we are the Salvation Rangers and we have come to you with a business proposition." Said Salvation Red.
"I'm listening. Say your piece." Said Hu$tlebone$.
"For as long as we can remember we dreamed about being heroes. We trained and practiced for years, but we have hit a roadblock. Our training isn't enough to combat the forces of evil, we need weapons and gear, things you have in abundance aboard your ship. If you were to give some weapons and gear, we would be very thankful and we would be honored if Styxcoin, would sponsor us." Said Salvation Red.
"Sponsor?" Asked Hu$tlebone$.
"Think about it. Your company would have it's very own team of heroes and we have the perfect slogan. Looking for financial salvation. Invest in Styxcoin! The people would love it and Styxcoin stock would go through the roof! It's a win win for all of us." Said Salvation Red.
Hu$tlebone$ liked the sound of that.
"You seriously can't be thinking of giving these guys dangerous weapons and magic items." Said Lami.
"Well...um.." Said Hu$tlebone$.
"These guys aren't going to help Styxcoin, they're a bad investment. Even if they were well armed with weapons and magical items, they would still end up losing against any villain they try to up against." Said Lami.
"Hey that's not true! We are totally battle hardened warriors!" Complained Salvation Blue.
"Alright battle hardened warriors let's put you to the test. If you can beat me in a fight we will give you weapons and sponsor you." Said Lami.
"That's all? This'll be easy." Said Salvation Red with confidence.
Lami smiled as her right pigtail formed into a fist and struck Salvation Red in the face knocking him to the ground. The other Salvation Rangers looked down at their leader in shock and turned back to Lami who had changed from her schoolgirl appearance to her slimy green humanoid form. The Salvation Rangers stared at Lami and then Salvation Blue let out a yell and charged at Lami. Lami sidestepped Salvation Blue and tripped him sending him crashing to the ground. Salvation Green got behind Lami and grabbed her from behind to retrain her. Salvation Black tried to attack Lami, but her pigtails turned into fist and smacked him in the face knocking him to the ground. Salvation Yellow charged at Lami and tried to punch her in the gut, but she used her powers to open a hole in her belly, so Salvation Yellow's fist harmlessly went through and struck Salvation Green in the belly instead making him let go of Lami and double over in pain.
"Nice try boys." Said Lami as she punched both Salvation Yellow and Salvation Green in the face with her pigtail fists knocking them both to the ground.
Salvation Blue got to his feet and charged at Lami swinging a fist at her, only to have Lami catch it with her right pigtail fist. Lami threw Salvation Blue and he flew and crashed into Salvation Red, who had just gotten back to his feet and the two of them crashed to the ground in a heap. Lami turned her attention to Salvation Pink and Salvation Beige who both raised their hands in surrender.
"Smart move. Now I believe this proves my point." Said Lami as she changed back into her schoolgirl form.
"Dang guess you were right. Ok guys it's a no on the gear and sponsorship, but I feel kind of bad for you, so I'll give you a job. You are now janitors aboard my ship. That good with you?" Said Hu$tlebone$.
"Yeah..." Groaned Salvation Red.
"Cool. Y'all just rest up and I'll find something for you later." Said Hu$tlebone$ before he and Lami walked away.
"Man we suck." Said Salvation Pink.
"We really do." Agreed Salvation Beige.
"You know those Salvation Rangers guys remind me of those Prism Rangers we dropped off at the casino a couple of weeks ago." Said Hu$tlebone$.
"I guess so." Said Lami.
"You know those Salvation Rangers were really onto something. Owning and sponsoring a superhero team could really help Styxcoin. We should find those Prism Rangers and sponsor them." Said Hu$tlebone$.
"I suppose that isn't a terrible idea. Let's focus on our special guests and meeting first and will discuss more later." Said Lami.
"Cool." Said Hu$tlebone$.
The two of them entered a large meeting room with a long table and took a seat. A few minutes later there was a flash of light as a muscular man whose entire body was engulfed in flames, with deep red skin and yellow markings running throughout. The man stood around 7'6", with hair that was also made of flames, and he had bright green eyes that matched a green orb embedded in his forehead.
"Pyrrhon the Sun God is in the house!" Sang the flaming man as he took a dramatic pose before he took a seat.
There was a flash of wind and sand and a short barefooted man wearing a bed sheet that made him look like a ghost.
"Greetings Medjed, the Egyptian Smiter God." Said Lami.
Medjed bowed his head in greeting.
There was another flash of light and what appeared to be a enormous mermaid appeared sitting at the table. The mermaid had a blue scaled tail, with a few patches of white scales, and had white feathers sprouting from the end of her tail and her waist that made it look like she had a skirt. She had grey skin and wore a white coral bra. Instead of hair on the top of her head she had what appeared to be a blue, white, and red jellyfish on her head, which tentacles served as her hair. The mermaid also carried a grey staff with white coral on it topped by a red orb.
"I am Tiamat, Mesopotamian Goddess of the Sea." Said the mermaid.
There was a might explosion and a new figure appeared hovering on a black cloud. The newcomer was a very muscular woman, with yellow eyes with red irises and red eye shadow around them. The woman had long lite colored brown hair and two brown antler horns. She wore a green loincloth beneath a black skirt with red frills, golden rings around her legs and arms, a brown headband, and a green ribbon sash that covered her voluptuous and hovered behind her back.
"I am Raijin, Japanese God of Thunder." Said the woman as she hovered down and took a seat.
"And I thought I was hot." Said Pyrrhon with a grin and wink at Raijin, who shot a fierce glare at him.
A column of darkness rose out of the ground and a new figure glided out an undead woman named Queen Odette. Parts of her body were skeletal with no flesh at all, such as her arms, neck, and the exposed spine of her back. Her bones appeared to have a greenish tinge. What skin she did have, such as her face and very large breasts, were pale to the point of ghastly pallor with a greenish-bluish tinge, such as one would expect from a dead body.
Despite her frightening and somewhat ghastly appearance, Odette was beautiful still, and cut an impressive figure. She had pointed ears, red eyes with black sclera, purple lips, and pale purple hair done in a tight braided hairstyle which sticks up in the back on both sides (it's two braids). She wore a gracefully moving deep purple and blue/black dress accented with lace, which was continually flowing. The bodice of the dress were cut very revealingly as to greatly show Odette's enormous cleavage, so much so that her breasts nearly seem exposed. She also wore a large, fanned, cap-like headdress of deep bluish purple edged with a lace pattern, banded with purple and accented with bone around the forehead. She had a metal crescent moon which seemed to be grinning floating behind her, and she carried a lantern.
"Queen Odette thank you for agreeing to come." Said Hu$tlebone$ with a slightly nervous smile.
"Oh I had some spare time to get away from the Netherworld and you do know I like a good conflict. No matter who wins I get the souls of the vanquished." Said Odette with a smile.
The others gave Odette looks of dread and disgust. Then a swirling portal of darkness appeared on the wall and four beings stepped out from it. One was a gigantic humanoid that appeared to be made of dripping black slime and tar, another appeared a giant black and grey fiddler crab that seemed to have tumors on it's back and large claw, one looked like he was human wearing black business pants, white shirt, and a smiling white mask, he also had a large syringe stabbed into his chest and his head seemed to be a large swirling mass of black slime, eyes and teeth, and the last newcomer appeared to be a very short human man with a mustache dressed in a black military officers uniform with medals.
"Ah the Sorrows have arrived. Thank you for coming Gordon Grimes, Hector Krank, Maxxx, and Major Warren Pliskhan." Said Hu$tlebone$.
The man in the military uniform, who must have been Major Pliskhan stepped forward and spoke.
"It's an honor to be here. If you're looking to kill some people my associates and I are the best for the job."
"Who exactly are these people?" Tiamat looking at Lami.
"The Sorrows are a group of individuals that specialize in killing. They come from a dimension where they work for their version of the grim reaper. Each member specializes in a field of death. Gordon Grimes the big slimy guy uses pollution, Hector Krank the crab uses diseases, Maxxx the guy with the syringe uses addiction and drugs, and Major Warren Pliskhan uses guns and military weapons." Explained Lami.
Everyone took a seat at the table, well except Grimes who just separated a part of his body to form a chair and sat in it instead of sit in a regular chair. Hu$tlebone$ stood at the head of the table and he spoke.
"Alright thank you all for coming. Now many of you know that I used to have a electronic currency business called Styxcoin that ended up being run out of business by another electronic currency business called Bittercoin ran by a trio of new gods. Anyhow I found out where these gods have stationed themselves and there appears to be several other new gods working with them and I think they might be getting support from a highly powerful demon and his associates. I believe these new gods are going to eventually make a big move against us to destroy us and try to take over our followers and our universes! We need to mobilize and take these suckers out!" Said Hu$tlebone$.
"If it's a fight they want, then it's a fight they'll get. Count me in." Said Raijin as she cracked her knuckles.
"This is good publicity for Pyrrhon!" Said Pyrrhon.
The others all nodded their heads in agreement. Hu$tlebone$ was pleased and he had Grill and Simmer bring a few carts of food for the guests. The Gods and Sorrows stood about mingling and nobody noticed Major Pliskhan sneak away to the bathroom. Once the door was closed Major Pliskhan pulled out a phone and made a phone call.
"King Dice, it's Major Pliskhan. The old gods are making a move on your assets. I'm sending you some photos of whose going to be attacking."
"Very good Major, I knew doing business with you and the other Sorrows was a good investment. Now don't you worry about a thing. You and your crew just do what you do best and get ready to turn the tables on the old gods. I'll get my people ready, along with a few special guests." Said King Dice.
Major Pliskhan hung up the phone and returned to the party.
Queen Odette hung around the party for a bit and then she headed to the item shop to do a little side business. The Judge and Zacharie were waiting for her.
"I have what you want. Now you agree to get Wizard out of the shop and undo the lock spell on the items." Said Odette.
"We already told the Wizard he's needed elsewhere and we finished removing the lock spell." Said Judge.
"Now bring our loved ones back." Said Zacharie.
"As you wish." Said Odette as a giant clenched skeletal hand rose out of a pool of darkness.
The hand opened up and two figures dropped to the ground. One was a cat the other was a human woman. The cat was the Judge's brother Valérie and the woman was Zacharie's girlfriend Sugar. Valérie looked a lot like his brother through his head and smile were smaller. Sugar had short hair and a dark shadow around her eyes. She wore an open shirt with X's on her chest, and baggy pants. Her sleeves and pants had a stripe pattern at the ends.
Both Valérie and Sugar were unconscious.
"Your loved ones are alive now. It'll just take them some time to wake up. Now if you would kindly leave, I have some other matters to attend to." Said Odette.
Zacharie picked up Valérie and Sugar and he and the Judge left the shop. Odette went over to the case that held the sword Deathcalibur and pulled it out. She then opened a dark portal, went through it and vanished.
Miles away in a cave the Necromancer was making plans to take revenge on the heroes that ruined the invasion of Snowdin, while the lifeless body of the NecroDancer laid nearby. There was a flash of darkness and Odette appeared carrying Deathcalibur. The Necromancer pulled out his sword and faced the intruder.
"I suggest you put that sword away. If I was here to kill you, you would already be dead and your soul would be in the Netherworld. I'm Queen Odette and I'm here to give you a little hand in getting your revenge." Said Odette.
Necromancer lowered his sword and put it away. Queen Odette smiled as she handed Deathcalibur to Necromancer. The Necromancer could feel a great deal of power from the sword. He sliced it through the air and tore a dark rift in it. Odette smirked as she saw dozens of knights in dark blue armor armed with swords and shields exit the rift and stood and bowed before Necromancer.
"These knights are from the Underworld and they will follow any command you give them." Explained Odette.
Odette pointed her lantern at the corpse of NecroDancer and and a light shot out of the lantern and struck the body.
"What the?!" Cried NecroDancer as he suddenly sat up fully alive.
"Now your comrade is back. Now go take your revenge." Said Odette before she vanished in a swirl of shadows.
"I was finally at peace!" Cried NecroDancer in rage.
The Necromancer looked at the NecroDancer in annoyance.
"Like I care what you think. I suppose since I'm back I might as well get revenge on the one who truly ruined my life." Said NecroDancer.
The two of them along with the knights from the underworld left the cave and went to seek revenge.
Back aboard the Cash Cruiser, the Salvation Rangers had made their way to the gift shop and were looking at all the items. There was no one in the shop except Carla stuck in the trunk in the back. The Salvation Rangers decided since no one was around they would try out some of the gear and decided to try out the Thongs of Virtue.
Salvation Red put on a purple thong, which was known as the Thong of Justice and felt a great surge of energy in his body as well as a strong sense of justice, Salvation Blue tried on a yellow thong, which was known as the Thong of Courage and felt incredibly brave, Salvation Green put on a white thong, which was known as the Thong Cuisine and was filled with the knowledge to cook good food, Salvation Orange put on a green thong, which was known as the Thong of Peace and knew how to resolve conflicts and arguments peacefully, Salvation Black put on a pink thong, which was known as the Thong of Compassion, which gave him healing powers and he used those powers to heal himself and his friends, and Salvation Pink put on a red thong, which was known as the Thong of Generosity and started to show care and concern for his teammates.
All the Salvation Rangers were happy with their new gear, except for Salvation Beige who didn't get a thong.
"Dude just grab yourself another item." Said Salvation Green.
So Salvation Beige opened up the case that held Cross-Stitch and tried to grab the living glove, but Cross-Stitch had other plans. Cross-Stitch dodged Salvation Beige and jumped out of the case. The other Salvation Rangers tried to grab the glove, but he dodged around them and fired a few magic blast that freed both the Elementals and the Mask of Dark Earth. The Elementals laughed as they flew about. Py-Ro fired a wave of fire at the Salvation Rangers forcing them all to dive to the ground to avoid being hit. The Elementals flew towards the exit and since Wizard's spell was no longer cast the flying masks were able to exit the shop and start causing chaos on the rest of the ship. Cross-Stitch took flight using his magic and followed the Elementals.
The Mask of Dark Earth flew around and found Carla. It then broke into the trunk and attached itself to Carla's face making her grow in size and bust out of the trunk as the mask filled her with rage towards Undyne and Gata for beating and capturing her.
"I will have my revenge!" Bellowed Carla as she clawed her way forward.
The Salvation Rangers saw her coming and quickly got out of the way. Carla exited the shop and headed down the hallway.
"Um...what should we do?" Asked Salvation Black.
"We could fight them." Said Salvation Blue.
"Or we could go peacefully negotiation with them." Said Salvation Yellow.
Salvation Red may have been wearing the Thong of Justice, but he was very aware that he and his team were no match against anything that escaped the item shop.
"Team, we must bravely run away!" Said Salvation Red.
"What?!" Cried an annoyed Salvation Blue, while the rest of the Salvation Rangers looked Relieved.
With an plan in mind the Salvation Rangers went about trying to figure out how to escape the boat. They began looking through the items for a solution, when Salvation Beige came across an item called a teleportation stone. It was a round blue rock with mystical symbols on it. There was also a little pamphlet that instructed how to use the stone. Just think about where you wanted to go and the stone would take you there. Salvation Beige grabbed the stone and called out to the others. The team gathered together and held onto each other as Salvation Beige thought about the Lady Luctopus Casino. There was a flash of light and the Salvation Rangers were gone.
To be continued.
Glossary
Disgaea: Prism Rangers
Kid Icarus Uprising: Pyrrhon
Pharaoh Rebirth: Medjed
Spelunky 2: Tiamat
Muramasa the Demon Blade: Raijin
Odin Sphere: Queen Odette
Have a Nice Death: Gordon Grimes, Hector Krank, Maxxx, and Major Warren Pliskhan
OFF: Valèrie and Sugar
