CHAPTER 16 - ENIGMA
Before the sun set, Afflatus woke up. She if asked Bliss wanted to go for a walk, and Bliss agreed. Afflatus had escort status, so it was above-board. Afflatus wondered if the other victors had let Lustre back into the apartment, yet. Luckily, she saw no one as the girls exited.
They wound around town, through an industrial sector. There weren't many boots on the ground. As the girls wove through the streets, with the most amount of privacy they were afforded in the Capitol, Afflatus opened up to Bliss.
She told the truth about what happened at the end of her Games, what Walan did to her- the extent of her torture, and how the Capitol responded by making her victor. Walan crossed the line worse than Lustre did, and they killed him for it. The Capitol had a strange sense of 'honour.' They were such hypocrites.
Afflatus' torture was the real reason for her dramatic Alterations; the prosthetics necessary after she contracted a severe cerebrospinal infection. Bliss had known about the infection, just not the source of it. It was a revelation to Bliss, though, that Afflatus had technically lost her final battle.
She told Bliss that was when her 'problems' began; her inability the regulate her emotions. She'd suppressed her reactions during the torture and sexual assaults, not wanting to put on a show for Walan or the Capitol. She paid for it dearly, her emotions still turbulent and stuck, nearly a decade later. During the torture she forced herself to stay silent and now she felt unable to express emotions or thoughts that were in any way distressing. It made her feel all the more robot-like.
And it had been all for nothing, because the Capitol had completely cut the footage, and Walan died.
Ever since, Afflatus had been unable to recognize her own face or body in the mirror, a constant state of dysmorphia. She revealed the extent of her trafficking, and some of the horrifying encounters she'd had over the fits of rage and self-harm were products of her loss of autonomy. Bliss' face streamed with tears as Afflatus spoke, but she didn't interrupt.
Lastly, she told Bliss that the Capitol took her scars away, and the President warned her not to 'damage the merchandise' any more. Along with Lustre's win, that had precipitated Afflatus' destruction of her apartment.
Afflatus didn't end on a hopeful note, saying she felt lost and helpless. Bliss allowed space for her sadness, a period of silence and respect for Afflatus.
Finally, Bliss said, "Thank you for trusting me. I am going to do everything I can to protect you."
From anyone else, it would have been an empty promise, but Afflatus believed Bliss.
She hugged Bliss.
…
"Why do you think some victors are targeted for… those things, and some aren't?" Bliss asked Afflatus, after a while. They were still walking, weaving through the industrial district.
Bliss was still completely and utterly shocked that this was a seemingly widespread issue. If it was happening to Harlem, and even someone of Afflatus' status, who else was it happening to?
And why was Afflatus even targeted in the first place, hailing from the Capitol's prize district? Bliss would have thought if anyone was safe, it would be the victors of District 1. That's not how it appeared to work, though. Bliss was dreadfully confused.
"I don't know the rhyme or reason." Afflatus admitted. "Usually career victors are safe, but I'm obviously an exception… There's something that happened before my Games that could have something to do with it, though… maybe…" Afflatus trailed off, thinking. Bliss waited anxiously for her to continue.
"I think this goes without saying, but you can't tell anyone. About any of this." Afflatus continued.
Bliss nodded.
"There was a victor from D1 who died in a 'car accident' the year before my Games, Opal Honey. He was actually killed by the Capitol as punishment. As far as I know, nobody in D1 knows the real reason. If they do, they haven't told me. The D1 victors were informed he committed acts considered treasonous to the country, but with how strict the Capitol is, I'm still unsure as to what he did specifically. I don't know what he was involved in, but he fucked up bad enough to be murdered for it…
"There are only two victors in history that have been killed by the Capitol: Creel Doff of D8 was publicly executed for the crimes of his district- you're aware of him, I'm sure. But as far I know, there was no conspiracy in D1 to warrant Opal's death, so his punishment must have been for his own crimes… And there was no widespread publication of his passing; he went from being the crown jewel of the Capitol to being treated like he never existed.
"Again, I don't know why he was punished, but I'm suspicious that the way the Capitol treats me is fallout from the situation… District 1 may be favoured, but nobody is above the rule of Capitol law, as they constantly remind us." Afflatus finished the tangent. The words triggered a memory in Bliss, which she tried to push to the side.
Bliss had to make a decision, back off and remain safe, or try to unravel the conspiracy.
"I'm with you, Afflatus. Let's try to figure this out." Bliss said, resolved- though her stress was evident.
"Bliss, you don't know what you're dealing with here, I don't want you to get hurt." Afflatus sighed.
"Just because I've never been given an assignment like you or Harlem, doesn't mean I've never been punished. I know how high the stakes are." Bliss responded.
Afflatus looked at her sharply. "What happened?"
It was a long time ago, Bliss didn't want to think about it, but the memory overpowered her. She shook her head, contemplating. "After the Games in the 45th year… I didn't want to have dinner with this gamemaker… It was stupid of me. But I thought they'd give me a slap on the wrist. Instead, they brought me to the morgue and showed me my tribute who'd been recently murdered. It triggered my hallucinations. The men interrogating me didn't let me leave for days. They kept asking if I thought I was above the rule of law. I kept saying no, but I guess they didn't believe me." Bliss kicked a stone.
"I'm sorry, Bliss… Why didn't you ever tell me?" Afflatus asked, empathetic.
"Why didn't you tell me about your stuff?" Bliss countered.
Afflatus huffed.
"The point is, we can't just keep taking it. It'll destroy us. I'm surprised no victor's died by suicide, yet. Maybe someone's tried, I don't know… Harlem seemed damn close the other night." Bliss vented.
"What happened with Harlem?" Concern swelled in Afflatus' face.
"Fuck, I shouldn't have said anything… but now that it's out there… he was given an assignment the other night. They were cruel. Beat him and burned him with cigarettes after. Our avox had to go get him. Fucking monsters." Bliss admitted.
"Fuck." Afflatus said. "That's horrible."
Bliss nodded.
"How's he doing?" Afflatus asked.
"Violet's helping him. They're good for each other." Bliss smiled.
"Hmm, what's that about?"Affy cracked a grin, herself.
Bliss sighed. "It's complicated. They act like they're together but Harlem's too shy to tell Violet he wants to be with him. And I think Violet's worried about pushing him." She admitted.
"Why?" Afflatus asked.
"Harlem doesn't want to sleep with Violet, or anyone for that matter, and thinks no one could want him because of it." Bliss said. "I wish he wasn't so hard on himself."
"That is Harlem's way, he keeps everything inside." Afflatus discerned.
Bliss looked at her pointedly.
"Didn't say I was any better." Afflatus shrugged. After a beat, "We should speak with him."
"What for?" Bliss asked.
"To see if he knows anything about who's targeted for assignments, and why… And if he knows anything about Opal's death." Afflatus said, rebelliously. Bliss smiled.
"There's my girl." The word slipped out of Bliss' mouth. She pulled at the hem of her sweater. It wasn't the time to examine her feelings, they were too confusing, too guilt-inducing. Bliss thought of her wife, and how she'd react to hearing Bliss say such a thing.
Affy just smiled though, like it wasn't an awkward choice of words.
…
Bliss and Afflatus returned to the D7 apartment. Bliss' mind was spinning about their conversation. The Capitol had their claws into the victors in insidious ways, exploiting and punishing them in the ways they would hurt most. It made Bliss feel sick.
Violet and Harlem sat at the dinner table, finishing a meal, waiting for the Victor's Interview and Games Recap to begin streaming. The victors were all required to watch it, of course. Bliss nearly forgot.
The conversation with Harlem would have to wait, they couldn't have it in the surveilled apartment, anyways. Violet offered the girls some dinner, and they accepted. Bliss was glad to see Afflatus eat.
After they were finished, before the stream began, Afflatus cleared her throat. She looked awkwardly at her fellow mentors. "Umm…" She began. "Sorry, this is uncomfortable." Afflatus cleared her throat again, unsure how to proceed.
"What's going on, Afflatus?" Harlem asked gently.
"I wanted to give you a head's up… the Interview is going to be difficult to watch." Afflatus averted her eyes.
"Why?" Bliss asked, on edge.
"Lustre…" It frustrated Afflatus how much she was struggling to speak. She sat up straighter, adjusting, her internal steel corset- which was currently digging into a rib.
"The angle he chose to go with was… Panem, I'm sorry…" Afflatus reached for a glass of water, and drank. "He said he helped Basal. That he protected and guided him. He also exaggerated Basal's condition. It's lie after lie…
"You know Lustre's a fucking asshole, though, he'll say anything to make himself look good… Everyone who knew Basal, knew he was a good person. The same can't be said about Lustre… If it's any consolation, the career victors are isolating him. Not just D1. Nobody wants to talk to him. Rumours spread amongst the victors. They all know what he did. They don't agree with him, they don't want to be equated with him… Most actually do believe in honour, to some degree, but… I don't know, I know it's complicated. I'll stop rambling now." Afflatus choked out, pushed a metal hand through her hair.
"Thanks for telling us." Harlem said, when Bliss couldn't find the words.
Bliss nodded in agreement.
They settled in the sitting room, and turned on the tv screen.
It played out as Afflatus said, Lustre the amiable protagonist fighting his way through heaven and hell. If Bliss didn't hate the Games so much, maybe she'd appreciate the cinematography.
They exaggerated and made up the worst parts of Basal, true to Afflatus' word. He was a burden, something Lustre carried along with his weapons and backpack. Lustre's attitude was infuriating, he enjoyed the attention far too much.
Even with Afflatus' warning, it was overwhelming to watch. Basal's memory was erased and replaced with his worst fears. He was perceived as he never wanted to be. Bliss couldn't stop crying, but she didn't see blood or bodies.
By her own standards, she held it together well.
Violet and Harlem were equally as horrified, colour stripped from their faces. Afflatus nervously rubbed her arms, ashamed, hating herself and her district. She'd consumed a bottle and a half of wine during the program, and reached for another glass.
After it was over, Bliss led Afflatus back to her bedroom. Both took sleeping pills, then fell asleep beside each other. CI CH
