Thanks to Qoheleth (is that spelled right?) for the thoughtful response. It made me smile and subsequently made my day. This chapter may have a little less action, but the next one will be more engaging. Thanks to everyone reading for giving my story a chance!

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, and any of the characters, or places that are familiar. I have read so much that If I accidentally wrote something oddly similar to something already written, I apologize in advance as it was not intended.

Chapter Two: Excuses and Gossip


Tulip was more correct than she had known when she predicted Mrs. Hilltop would be furious. She had fallen upon Tulip the second she came in sight of the little round doorway, waving her hands and looking both as if she wished to smother Tulip with motherly affection and flay her all at once.

"What have you done to your dress?! Your hair!? Your darling red ribbon?!"

Tulip wanted to melt into the path. If there was one thing she truly feared, it was Mrs. Hilltop.

"Answer me Child! What have you done to yourself?" The plump lady squawked, her hands on her hips and her lips pursed in a way that reminded Tulip of a bird's beak.

"I fell." Tulip replied at once, and she could have kicked herself.

I fell? Really?

"Did you fall from a mountain? Because I dare say any ordinary fall would not have done this."

"It was…a puddle. A muddy puddle," Tulip tried.

"A muddy puddle," Mrs. Hilltop repeated, looking her daughter over with a critical eye. "How, may I ask, does a muddy puddle cause one to lose her hair ribbon?"

Tulip's excuse department squirmed uncomfortably as she racked her brain for an answer. When nothing came, impulses kicked in.

"Like this!" She cried suddenly, yanking Mrs. Hilltop's hair from its neat bun and sprinting into the hobbit hole. She did not stop until she was behind her own room's locked door, and only then did she realize what she had done.

"By the Shire's Green Grass- I am an idiot!" Tulip declared solemnly, and then proceeded to duck under her bed covers as Mrs. Hilltop began to rap upon the door.

"You beastly child! Come out here at once! Open the door you wretched lass or I shall break it down myself!"

Tulip shuddered. She thought about saying that she hadn't meant to pull Mrs. Hilltop's hair, but Tulip knew that such a plea would be useless. After all, when Tulip was but a tiny hobbit she had been labeled as troublesome by all the respectable hobbit parents for kicking, biting, and, yes, pulling hair.

Tulip never meant to be naughty, but trouble seemed to find her wherever she went. For example, that time she bit little Poppy was only because the girl had been trying to play family, and had wanted Tulip to be the baby. Tulip insisted that she didn't want to be the baby, but of course, they didn't listen. Poppy had started patting Tulip on the head and trying to feed her crackers. So, naturally, Tulip bit her. Poppy had run away crying and Tulip was left to her own devices for the rest of the day.

It wasn't that Tulip didn't see the pitiful looks that her neighbors gave her as she walked with Mrs. Hilltop through the market.

It wasn't that Tulip was oblivious to the harshly whispered words that all the "nice girls" exchanged when they thought she wasn't looking. It wasn't that. It was just that Tulip had learned to accept it, and not mind.

Though sometimes, on those very, very bad days, Tulip wished she could be like the other girls. She wished she could come up with clever excuses, or better yet, not need them in the first place.

Tulip kept silent until Mrs. Hilltop had given up and gone to start preparing Supper. Cautiously, she slipped from her bed and tip-toed to her closet. She changed into a clean dress, and folded her torn one over her night stand. Then she washed the dirt from her face and forced her hair into a new ribbon. This last part was especially painful for Tulip, who had never bothered with her hair unless she was trying quite hard to be good.

She had to be good if Mrs. Hilltop was making mushroom stew, like she was now. Tulip knew that smell anywhere. She would be an angel for mushroom stew, and Mrs. Hilltop knew it, too.

When all this was done, Tulip put on her most innocent face and slipped from her room. Quiet as a cat, Tulip took her seat at the table and remained very still. Presently, Mrs. Hilltop saw her and resumed her posture of hands on hips, but this time she was wielding a cooking ladle. Tulip gulped.

"I should send you straight to bed after your behavior tonight, but I'd have to be cruel to do that to such a thin thing as you. Eat up, and when you are done you can tell me what really happened."

Oh, merciful stew. Its scent could soften anyone's heart.

Tulip ate with her best manners, despite her instinct to pour the delicious bowl down her throat. Mrs. Hilltop gave her little nods of approval here and there, but mostly focused on the Shire Gossip, her one natural passion.

Mr. Proudfoot (or was it Proudfeet?) had tripped on Miss Daisy's garden, and the poor bloke was subjected to an hour long tirade from Miss Daisy that the neighbors heard from a mile away. Garo Chubb's cow had a calf. Molly Hornblower had won an award for her sweet buns. Jeremy Diggle's carrots had been eaten by rabbits during the night. And- Oh! Was it mentioned that the Dead Man's Bridge (or whatever the children call it) collapsed at last?

Tulip choked on her stew, and was grateful for the coughing, as it gave her a chance to hide her very red face.

Mrs. Hilltop glared at her. She despised bad table manners.

"Excuse me!" Tulip gasped, trying to regain her composure. "Go on."

Mrs. Hilltop frowned and resumed her gossip. Tulip was hardly listening this time. What was she going to tell her mother when the meal was over?

Tulip began taking very slow, methodical sips of her stew, stalling as the department of excuses was jolted back awake.

Tulip did not like to lie. She preferred telling twisted versions of the truth, because one, they made her feel better, and two, people believed them easier. Yet now, twisted or not, the truth was out, and she just needed to squirm her way out of it.

"So then I said to him: "If you want some silverware, you'll have to buy it yourself, sir!" Mrs. Hilltop was laughing very hard, and Tulip forced out an awkward sort of giggling sound and asked in a practiced tone: "Indeed! And what happened next?!" Or: "What did you say?!" In between intervals. It really was not very hard to carry a conversation with Mrs. Hilltop. This brought Tulip to strategy two.

She would not have to lie if Mrs. Hilltop became too preoccupied to ask. Tulip sighed internally.

For once she was grateful that the Shire never ran out of gossip.


So, how was that? I know- boring! The next chapter will be better and longer. Please review and let me know if there's anything you want to see more of or less of. This is a work in progress and I am open to suggestions and critique. Thanks for reading!! :)