Chapter 8
That was not the road she was supposed to take, Daniel thought, following Charlie on their way back from Jack's even if she had left a minute or so ahead of him. He didn't give it an afterthought and turned left just as she did, slowing down to put some distance between them. He couldn't believe he was tailing her. She had become a friend for him and one should trust friends but there had been some odd things happening around lately and they all seemed related to her. Even Sam was thinking her assistant couldn't be totally trusted. Hell even he didn't know what to think about it after the evening talk and her sudden departure.
He turned as she did once again and then parked only a short distance from her. As he saw the house she went to, his eyes widened: this was Hammond's. No way.
- What are you doing here, Charlotte O'Neill?, he muttered in the silence of his car.
He looked at her as she went up the stairs to the porch and knocked on the door. General Hammond opened it and let her in. He wondered once again why she came here after a team night but didn't have the time to dwell on it as he saw their shadows already nearing the door. He hid in the dark as the door opened and rose again when he heard two car doors being closed. Two? So she came to take something from Hammond. What was going on? Was she on a mission for him? Was she blackmailing him? No, it couldn't be. Hammond was one of the most honest people he knew. But what could it be then?
Once again, he followed her but she just went back to her apartment. He saw her get into the underground parking lot then waited, pondering if he should go up or not. Was it a good idea to come up to her door and confront her about her meeting with the General right away? Should he contact Jack or Sam, maybe both of them first? He was still thinking about his next move when the lights of the apartment he had guessed was hers were turned off. That settled the question. He didn't think it would be wise to go and get her out of bed now. It was probably wiser to wait for the morning. It would give him time to think about what he would do.
The morning took its time to arrive, Daniel thought, having barely slept at all. He didn't call one of his friends. He just appeared at Charlie's doorstep, first thing in the morning, decided to have a little chat with her about her visit to Hammond the night before. He knocked and had to keep himself from doing it again when she didn't open after five little seconds. He shouldn't antagonize her immediately. He had to be sneaky and that was not his strong point.
- Daniel?, Charlie stated, surprised when she opened.
The first thing he noticed was the way she was holding the door so that it was not open enough to see inside. The second thing was the quick glance she cast behind her, ill-at-ease, before turning to him again.
- Hi… I was wandering around and… thought maybe you would like to go out and take a coffee with me?, he offered.
What a lame lie…, he thought, offering her a friendly smile, well as friendly as he could when he was suspecting her to be a traitor.
- Oh… I would really appreciate it… but… I can't. I have a lot of things to do., she answered, her fingers gripping the door a little tighter.
- You do?, he replied doubtfully, lifting an eyebrow before giving himself an internal slap in the face., Of course, you do with your doctorates and all. That's really sad. I wanted to talk with you about the book I lent you.
That was a good idea, he congratulated himself. Maybe she would feel compelled to let him in and he would be able to see what she wanted to hide so badly. Just to be sure of that, he tried to pry inside but she just moved the door accordingly, glancing once again behind her. He just couldn't decide if she had done so on purpose.
- Maybe am I interrupting something. Is someone there? You should have told me. I didn't want to bother you., he insisted., But as you said last night, you weren't seeing anyone…
- No, there's no one but, Daniel, I told you, I have a lot of things to do. We don't have that many days off., she recalled him.
- You're right… so we'd better take advantage of them. Maybe I could show you around the Springs?, he offered.
- Daniel…, she sighed, visibly embarrassed.
Whatever she wanted to say to refuse his proposition was swept by the incongruous sound that came from the apartment.
- What the hell…, he whispered and, as she looked behind her worryingly, he forced his way in.
- Daniel no!, she tried to stop him but he was already inside and in front of the origin of the sound.
In front of a couch, in a bouncer, a baby was crying. He looked at her, the little pale green dress being sufficient proof of her gender, and he felt mesmerized even though she was crying. Charlie went past him and took the baby girl in her arms, giving her her pacifier. The cries disappeared right away and it shook Daniel out of his reverie.
- Is this your kid?, he asked her in utter disbelief.
He hadn't seen that one coming. He thought she was a single woman, not that he was interested in something else than friendship but that was what he thought and nothing in her behavior gave a hint that he might be wrong.
- No, I stole her at the supermarket., she sneered., Yes, she is my daughter, I am a single mother and I don't give a fucking damn about what you can think of it. Now get out of here!, she asked him angrily.
- Look, Charlie, I am sorry., he began, feeling like an idiot now.
- It's too late to be sorry, Daniel. Your book is over there on the table. Take it and leave now. You can go and tell everybody what you just learned. I don't care. I will be back on base by Monday and do my job as usual. I will suffer the rumors and comments. I'm so used to them., she told him before going to the kitchen.
- Everything will be okay, sweetie. I'm just gonna take care of you as you need and everything will be alright., he heard her say in a comforting tone to her baby girl.
But he couldn't not notice the light quivering in her voice and decided not to follow her lead. He went by the door and closed it, ready to have a real conversation with her. He felt like a jerk and he wanted to disentangle the whole thing with Hammond and also her anger. Taking a deep breath, he went back to the living room and saw her seated on the couch, giving a bottle to her baby.
- What's her name?, he asked her, standing a few feet from her.
- I told you to leave., she answered him.
- And I won't. So the faster you answer me, the faster I'm out of here., he just said, shrugging.
She gave him a fierce look then dropped her gaze on her baby, letting out a strained breath.
- Elizabeth… Ellie., she finally told him and her features softened.
- That's pretty. It suits her., he mentioned, taking a closer look at the baby, her golden hair with some locks on it, big blue eyes, chubby face.
- I named her after my great-grand-mother. I hope she'll have a beautiful life as she had., she whispered.
- Your mother and grand-mother didn't?, he asked her.
- I always thought I wouldn't be so silly to do the same mistake they did., she snorted, giving a quick glance where he saw her disillusion.
- They also were single mothers. It was their choice but it has been hard for them… as it is for me., she explained, putting Ellie on her shoulder so that she could burp.
- That's why you are so bitter and angry? That's why you think I'll go shout it out around the base?, he asked her.
- Tell me you don't think that I'm an idiot? Tell me you don't see me differently now that you know?, she bit harshly, putting a hand on her daughter's head, keeping her in place as if she wanted to protect her.
Daniel took a good look at her, trying to assess what the best way to answer her was. He made the few steps to sit down next to her and gesture for the baby. She hesitated a brief second before giving her to him. She watched him settle Ellie on his lap facing him and the way he looked at her lightened her mood a little.
- She's really cute., he stated.
- She is and she's a lovely kid too., she affirmed.
- So, what about beginning that whole conversation all over again and making things straight?, he offered and she nodded.
- Why are you here, Daniel? I didn't take you for someone who would barge in unannounced., she began.
- I… err… I followed you last night and saw you at Hammond's., he told her nervously.
- Oh…, she let out, looking aside, fidgeting., Well, I went to free him from his babysitting task.
- His b… Are you kidding?, the archaeologist left out astounded.
- No, he was looking after Ellie.
Daniel looked at her then the baby and again at Charlie before his mind stopped racing.
- You personally know General Hammond?, he stated dumbfounded.
- Yes, I do. We met ten years ago. It's him who got me to go to the Academy. As for last night, he overheard when I declined colonel O'Neill's invitation for team night and, as he knew about my little problem, he ordered me to bring Ellie to his house and spend the evening with my team., she explained., But why did you follow me?
- I left right after you and after… I don't really know. You told me where you were living and when you took another direction, I guess I may have think you were the one who was stealing the artifacts., he admitted sheepishly.
He wasn't surprised when she stood up and snatched her daughter from his hands. He missed the comforting heat against him but said nothing as she went away and disappeared behind a door, Ellie's room apparently. He was tempted to follow her, just to have a look at it, see if it was a very childish decoration or more adult one as he imagined it to be, knowing Charlie.
- I didn't steal them., he heard suddenly.
Coming back from his daydreaming, he looked at Charlie, settled against the closed door of the room, jaw clenched and fierce look. After a few seconds, she walked to him and stared down at him once again.
- I would never dare to do something like that. I've worked too hard to arrive where I am and I value too much the program and its benefits to do something to endanger it., she affirmed before relaxing a little and sitting back next to him., Now, I can understand your doubts. As I heard, everything began when I arrived… and I think I have been approached by people who may have thought I could give them what they wanted… but I just ignored them and I do my best to stay away from them., she told him.
- You know some of them?, Daniel said surprised.
She embraced herself, a far away look on her face turned towards Ellie's room.
- No, I don't. They left messages and some people, never the same ones, approached me but I just ignored them., she whispered, shuddering.
- You don't want to talk about it?, he asked her and she shook her head no., So we won't… but when you feel ready or need to do so, come talk to me, okay?
- Okay., she agreed., Daniel, if it's not enough for you, I know how much money I could earn if I worked with those kind of people but I would do nothing that could end up with me being separated from Ellie. I am her only family as she's mine. I love her too much to risk her being taken away from me.
He wouldn't have dared question her words. He saw in her stare she was telling him the truth and how hard it would be for her, how fearful she was it could even happen.
- I trust you. But, if I may, what about her father?, he asked her, seeing her features harden.
- She doesn't have one. He doesn't know about her and I'll do my best for it to stay that way., she said, clenching her fists on her lap.
- So he didn't flee when you told him if I get it right. Did he hurt you?, he questioned.
- No, he didn't. He didn't really have the time to do so. You won't leave me alone and it won't stop bugging you until you know, will you?, she asked him with a crooked smile.
He smiled back at her, slightly embarrassed as she seemed to know him well enough.
- I guess I won't. It's part of who I am, my need to understand people and culture., he agreed.
- Ellie's the result of a one-night stand. I wasn't in love, I wasn't looking for love. I just met him at a random party held after a show for some political brass. My mother just passed away, I felt lonely, drank a little too much alcohol and he had something. He made me smile and laugh for what seemed the first time in ages., she explained to him in almost a whisper.
- I'm sorry for your mother., he offered her, taking her hand and pressing it lightly before letting it go.
- Thanks… Well, she's better off up there than here still suffering from cancer. So, back to the story of my biggest mistake…, she joked halfheartedly., He got to me, convinced me to accept a late dinner and then a last drink in his hotel room and I leave the rest to your imagination. Next morning, when I woke up, he was gone.
- He… he left without waking you up?, he said dumbfounded., What a jerk!
- Yeah… It's not like I thought it would be a long and perfect love story., she snorted., But yes, I do agree he could have woken me up and said something. I think that's something you do when you sleep with a girl but I can't know for sure as he was my first and only sexual experience so far.
- Oh… Bad luck…, he simply said, grimacing.
- Yeah, well, more of a bad choice than bad luck. It wasn't a good move to get laid by a man I barely knew. Well, even smart people can do dumb things, can't they?, she sneered.
She slightly massaged her temples with her fingertips, sharing her memories bringing back painful feelings.
- You were feeling lonely as you said. And now you have Ellie and you don't seem to regret her., Daniel pointed out.
- No, I don't even if that was not the way I planned to have a baby. I had this weird idea of getting married and after have a baby., she joked., I guess I just like to live my life the hard way.
- Why didn't you tell him? I mean, even if you didn't know him before, it may have ended on something good. At least, you wouldn't be alone., he asked.
- Do you want a coffee?, she suddenly offered, needing time to decide if she wanted to go on telling him about her life and let him discover what a fool she had been.
He accepted and she fled to her kitchen. He rose to his feet but, instead of going after her, he let her alone for a moment, understanding her need to calm down, and walked around the room, stopping by her bookshelf, full of books related to the doctorates she was prepping.
- Do I pass the examination?, she asked behind him.
- I wasn't judging, I was just curious. Do you only read to study?, he asked her back.
- Between work, Ellie and studies, I don't have that much time left., she answered, shrugging.
- What do you do with what's left?
- Let me think… House chores, grocery shopping, sometimes cloth shopping for her mainly and sometimes I even get to sleep., she joked, giving him a mug of a steaming coffee., If you want sugar or milk, I must have some in the kitchen.
- I'm okay., he simply said, taking a sip.
He didn't press her. He observed her, thought about everything he learned about her since she had arrived at the SGC, their little talks and he know he was lucky she opened up to him even after he barged in in her place. She was pretty secretive after all.
- He's married. Ellie's progenitor…, she precised., I knew his name. It wasn't really hard to find his address. So I went to tell him about the "good" news., she quoted with two fingers.
- His wife opened the door?, Daniel assumed but she shook her head.
- I saw the whole family out in the garden, mister and pregnant misses and all three children playing football, laughing together, the happy family. I… I was hurt, I felt… betrayed. I know it wasn't serious but, you see, he wasn't wearing his band when I met him. If he had, I never would have gone with him in the first place, I would have been more cautious. I'm not a home wrecker. So I looked at them for a few minutes, trying to get back to reality, and then I just left.
- Any regret about keeping her? I know military people are not the most open-minded ones., he stated.
- Really?, she sneered and they shared a little laugh., I had my share of spiteful stares and comments, false pity. They didn't go easy on me. They transferred me to Area 51 in a team who had projects but not enough funds to run them.
- They punished you because you were pregnant?, he said, astonished and outraged.
- That and single. Military single mothers are not the best examples to display. My CO told me I was lucky to have so good a file, otherwise I would have been fired. So sending me to an obscure project was a favor., she explained wryly.
- The obscure project was the stargate program?, he questioned her, thinking she got pretty lucky after all.
She looked at him, her stare became mischievous and the corners of her mouth lifted before she began laughing.
- Oh no… It really was an obscure project that had remained untouched for a very very long time and they wanted to get it out of their way because they could not just get rid of it. We were three on the case but the two others had other fish to fry. I had not so I just concentrated on it and, after five weeks, I just went to my new CO and handed my report. He even had a demonstration to show how useless it was… but it was working and that was what they asked me. I even gave them a few leads to improve it or give it another goal. He went through my file and I heard him say some very flowery qualifiers about my former CO. Afterwards, he assigned me to the Stargate program, encouraged me to pursue my doctorates. I was showing so he knew I was pregnant. He didn't give me any special treatment but he didn't punish me for it neither. You already know the rest of the story from then on.
- Well… I guess you did pretty good given the circumstances and, now, I really really feel like an idiot for thinking you may have done something wrong at the SGC., he told her, grimacing something akin to an excuse smile., How old is Ellie?
- Six months. I was back from maternity leave a month ago when I transferred to the SGC., she explained., I can't believe that was already two months ago…, she whispered.
- Just tell me… you sure you carried her? Because I wouldn't have guessed and nobody did or I would have heard about it., he joked.
- She was just like now, a discreet baby, and I was well trained even behind a desk., she answered, glaring to him mockingly.
They stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking about their talk. Charlie felt as if she had opened the floodgate. She was drained by the influx of feelings and memories she had shared but she also felt lighter than she had in a long time.
- Look, I won't tell you what you have to do but… you should tell the team. Hammond already knows but the others… we could help you if need be. You saw how we work, we are family., he told her.
- So much of a family that you felt the need to follow me last night and come here this morning?, she questioned him, making him frown., Look, I'm not angry but I can be skeptical about that fact. The four of you are family. I'm just an outsider forced into your team. You don't totally trust me and it's okay. I hope I get the right feeling and you don't judge me now you know about my daughter but I won't risk it with the others. So just tell me now if you can keep it a secret or if I should prepare to face stares or rumors next monday., she told him in a defensive stance.
They heard some fussing coming from Ellie's room and Charlie went to see her baby. Daniel followed her, staying on the doorstep and saw her caressing the baby's head softly, soothing her. Nonetheless, she took her up and scooped her in her arms.
- She's waking up. We must have talked a long time., she stated, looking at her watch and grimacing.
- You're behind your schedule?, he asked her, concerned.
- Yeah., she sighed., I have to go shopping and then to do my laundry. I was supposed to study this afternoon while she naps but I guess I'll have to postpone. I'll skip our walk tomorrow…
- What about a little help from a friend?, he suggested., I'm the one who arrived unannounced and had you spill the beans. I owe you.
- You owe me nothing, Daniel., she opposed.
- I do and, if you still don't believe it, I feel like I owe you so I have to pay back or I'll feel guilty all the week-end long and maybe a few weeks or months after that… So you're doing me a favor., he pointed out., It could even be years…
She laughed at that and took a look at her girl, thinking about his offer.
- Will you tell the others?, she asked him.
- I won't, scout's honor., he swore, lifting one hand.
- Were you even a scout?, she doubted mischievously before sighing., Okay. Maybe you could go to the shop with my list. Hope you won't mind buying diapers and pads?
- Oh… err…, he began, scraping his throat and his embarrassment made her laugh wholeheartedly.
- I'm kidding. I just need diapers for her. So up to it?
- You're a very bad girl. Mocking a poor man who just wants to help., he scolded her with the hint of a smile.
- You're right. I'm sorry., she apologized.
- Your punishment will be proportional. I take this little girl with me and you have to study as long as we're gone and until meal is ready., he imposed to her.
She looked at him, a little worried. She trusted him with Ellie but was he aware of the challenge it could be to go grocery shopping with a baby?
- I can cook and I can cook just for you if you don't want us to share it., he told her, getting her look wrong.
- Yeah, no… I'll share it gladly… It's just… you sure you want to take her with you? It'll be faster and easier for you without her., she answered.
- Well, if you've done it for six months now, I should be able to do so once., he just replied, shrugging., Come on, get her ready., he ushered her.
Finally, she gave in and five minutes later, Daniel left with her daughter. It was quite unbelievable but it was real and, as much as she wanted to just take in the situation, she sat down at her desk and turned on her computer.
