My name is Mary Gilbert. At least it is now. A few months ago, I was Jeremy Gilbert. Yes, I was a guy. The thing is no seems to remember me being a guy and I can't seem to tell anyone about it either for some reason. Somehow, I was turned into a girl. I don't know why I remember and no one else does. That was three months ago, and I still wasn't fully used to my body yet. I was having periods and they sucked. It was now the first day of school and I didn't want to go, but I knew that I had to. People acted like they were sympathetic, but they didn't care that my parents had died.
I finally headed into the school. I usually walked to school even before I became a girl. The good news was Mystic Falls was pretty safe. I couldn't remember the last time that we had a crime happen. I had to have a drink before I went to school because it just made being a girl easier. I wanted to go the bathroom and use some eye drops to get rid of the look. I had perfected walking with a buzz after much practice. With any luck, none of my teachers would notice. I did have a bit of a stagger to my step, but it was limited enough to get back. I began putting the drops in.
"Unbelievable." My sister Elena interrupted. "It's the first day of school and you're already wasted."
"No, I'm not." I argued. My vision was still a little bit blurry. At least I knew how to do makeup finally. She wasn't one of those caring older sisters. She seemed to act like she was ashamed of me all of the time. She didn't understand that I didn't know how to be a girl. She didn't understand what it was like to be changed suddenly and have everyone else think you were normal. She did understand what it was like to lose our parents, but that was only one thing. "You just need to chill yourself already."
"Chill myself?" Elena challenged. Okay, I suppose that really didn't make any sense. She needed to stop getting onto me for being drunk though. "You're so drunk that you can't form coherent sentences. I bet you feel so good right now."
"I'm not drunk!" I shouted. She was making it a little bit hard to maintain my buzz. She didn't have that much room to judge me because she wasn't dealing with things that well either. She was just less moody than I was. "Just leave me alone."
"People are going to stop giving your breaks, Mary." She told me. I was pretty sure that they had already stopped that. "They don't really care that we lost our parents anymore."
"I don't need this." I argued. "I have to get to class. So, get out of my way."
I walked out and I immediately collided with a guy. Since he was much bigger than me, I was knocked to the ground. He held his hand out to help me up. I didn't grab it and got up myself. I didn't think that I had ever seen him before. Then again, I didn't know a lot of people in the school, so it was possible that he wasn't new.
"You're in my way." I declared. He probably was able to smell the alcohol on my breath. I would need to limit how much I talked to avoid giving it away.
"Are you drunk?" He asked me. Now he was going to judge me as well. I was really sick of people judging me.
"Not you too, you don't even know me." I pointed out. I had to admit that he was attractive, but I didn't like guys. I wasn't going to have a boyfriend. I was not a girl, even though I looked like one and everyone thought I was. "Please get out of my way."
He obediently moved. He probably thought right now that I was a huge bitch. I began to wonder if I should even go to class. The teachers really weren't teaching anything that I didn't already know. This school really wasn't all that challenging to me. I could easily get straight As if I gave a damn. I wouldn't even need to be sober to do it. Hemmingway wrote pretty much all of his books while he was drunk, and he is one of the greatest writers who ever lived. I could do it too. Well Elena was always the better writer, but I could draw.
By the end of the day, my buzz was wearing off. I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I didn't know where Elena was, but she had gotten a ride home with her friend Bonnie, and I was pretty sure that Bonnie didn't like me. I didn't really have anything to go off of there, but I was pretty sure that she didn't like me.
Suddenly, I saw this crow and a fog began to form around my feet. It was a bit creepy. In fact, it was very creepy. I decided that it would be a good idea for me to run, but I fell on the ground. I looked up and saw the same guy from the hallway. I couldn't help but notice that I was near the old cemetery by Fell's Church where my parents happened to be buried.
"Are you okay?" He asked me. My leg hurt a little to be honest, but I wasn't going to tell him that.
"What are you doing here? Were you following me?" I responded as I stood up. I couldn't believe that I had a stalker after the first day of school.
"No, but I saw you fall." He answered. That didn't explain why he was there unless he had followed me there.
"And you just happened to be chilling in the woods." I quipped. Like what kind of person did that?
"I was visiting someone." He stated. Of course, we were near a cemetery. Suddenly I felt bad. That was a perfectly legitimate reason to be at a cemetery.
"Wow, you probably think that I'm a bigger bitch than before." I commented. At that point, he reached over, and I wondered what the hell he was doing, but then he pulled a twig out of my hair. I smiled awkwardly. "Thanks."
I then realized that I hadn't bothered to introduce myself earlier. He seemed like he was waiting for me to do it.
"I'm Margaret, but everyone calls me Mary." I stated. I wished that I would have been able to tell him my real name. I didn't even bother at this point.
"Stefan." He reciprocated. He then looked at me kind of funny. "Did you hurt yourself?"
I then pulled up my sleeve and noticed that my elbow was bleeding. I wondered how I hadn't noticed that now.
"Whoa, that is fucking disgusting." I remarked. I also noticed that he was looking away.
"You should probably go treat it." He replied. Before I could even respond, I noticed that he was gone. I then figured he was one of those wimps that loses it around blood. It didn't really matter anyway because I was not interested in dating anyone.
I went home and put a Band-Aid on my elbow before I realized that I needed some more to drink. There wasn't any in the house because my aunt Jenna seemed to be catching onto me. It was then that I realized that I had left without my purse, which meant no fake ID. That meant that there was only one place I could go. I didn't like carrying a purse around but most of my clothes didn't have pockets, so I kind of have to carry a purse. I didn't know how I was going to get another fake ID.
I headed to the local restaurant, the Mystic Grill. It wasn't creative, but I knew a waitress that was able to mix things into my drink. She was sneaky about it, and I wouldn't have to show her my ID that I no longer had.
"So do you have anything for me to drink?" I asked her.
"I gotta wait until the manager isn't around anymore." She told me. I wondered how long that was going to take.
"Could you give me water with vodka in it or something because I kind of lost my purse?" I declared. I then felt the need to tell her how such a thing had happened. "I was running from this weird bird and when I got home, I realized that it was gone."
"You are lucky that I like you enough not to charge you. I'll get you some fries as well, but that's probably all that I can get you without you paying." She remarked.
Within the next minutes, Bonnie Bennett and Caroline Forbes, Elena's friends and Matt Donovan, Vicki's brother and Elena's ex came in. Not long after did Elena walk in…with Stefan. I wasn't aware that they knew each other. He then began to walk toward me. I felt slightly jealous. No wait. I wasn't jealous. I didn't care that she was with him.
"Mary, I was hoping that you'd be here because I needed to give this to you." He stated before he reached into his bag and gave me purse, still zipped up. "Don't worry, I didn't take anything from it. I didn't even open it."
"Thanks." I told him. I couldn't help but wonder why he had been so polite about it. That was a huge relief because now I would be able to get some food as well.
I then watched Stefan as he went to sit with Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie. I was a little bit surprised that she was willing to date him. She did just get out of a relationship with Matt a few months ago.
"That new guy is weird." Vicki commented. "Why did he even have your bag?"
"Because he was there earlier when I lost it." I answered. "I checked and everything was there."
"It seemed like he was flirting with you a little." She remarked. I blushed. I was not interested in him.
"You know that he's over there flirting with my sister right now." I pointed out. "I don't think he'll be a problem. So, let's talk about the bonfire tomorrow night. It's going to be awesome. There will be all of the beer that we want with absolutely no adult supervision. It's the perfect place to get wasted."
I liked to be able to go to a place where people weren't going to judge me for drinking because everyone else was going to be drunk as well. Sure, it was pretty much only going to be the light stuff, but I liked beer enough that I didn't have a problem with it.
The following night, I headed to the Falls that our town got its name from. Elena would be there and for once, she wouldn't judge me for drinking because she would be doing it too. She had even come with me. Unfortunately, she had convinced me to wear a dress. It was black and white with straps, and she also convinced me to wear a headband. I wanted to not be able to see straight. I began to guzzle from the bottle. For once, I actually felt good. I guess I was just glad to be at a party for a change. It was somewhere that people wouldn't give me sympathetic looks and we could all just focus on having fun.
Later in the night, I went out into the woods because I saw Vicki walking out. I saw her with Tyler Lockwood against a tree, getting busy. I walked over angrily, wanting to break it up. I couldn't believe she was with that guy. She knew that I hated him. He probably didn't remember how he had tormented me because he probably didn't pick on girls, even though I couldn't be completely sure about that.
"What the fuck is going on here?" I asked angrily. I wanted to hit him, but I was pretty sure that I wasn't strong enough to do anything.
"It's not what it looks like." Vicki declared. Tyler took the opportunity to leave. "I told him no, but he wouldn't stop."
"You're lying." I responded. You know I did partially believe her, but I was pretty sure that the alcohol was blinding my judgment at the moment, and I just felt really, really angry. "You know what fuck both of you. I thought you were my friend, but I guess I was wrong. I'll find someone else to get my drinks from."
I walked out of the woods crying before I grabbed another drink. I didn't even know why I was crying. Maybe that was because of the booze. Of course, no one even noticed that I was upset because they didn't notice me. Well, one person did.
"Are you okay?" Stefan asked me. It just had to be him. Why did it have to be him?
"I don't want to talk about it." I declared. Unfortunately, he did not go away. He seemed like he was a really good guy. He would have been better off talking to a girl who was interested in him…not that I was a girl.
"Maybe talking about it will help you feel better." He suggested. I was pretty sure that it would only make me feel worse, but he didn't seem like he would leave unless I talked to him about it.
"Fine, my life fucking sucks." I told him. He didn't seem to be deterred by my profanity "My life is screwed up. I drink way too much, my parents are dead, and I don't have any friends. No one seems to care about me."
"Your sister does." He offered. He was trying to help but it was not helping.
"My sister just wants to judge me." I argued. "I don't expect you to understand."
"You could tell me." He offered. I really didn't want to do that, but I supposed I had to.
"Okay, last spring my parents died. They drowned in the lake." I explained. "Elena must not have been wearing her seatbelt, because she was ejected and survived. Now we're left with our aunt that doesn't have a clue what she's doing, and I drink, and Elena spends her time writing in the cemetery. We're both damaged goods with nothing good in our lives."
"You're not going to be sad forever, Mary." He told me. I supposed it was nice of him to say. I wondered if it would be possible for me to be friends with him. I didn't know if I could really be friends with anyone because everyone always let me down. I looked around the party and saw Tyler, but I didn't see Vicki. That was strange. If what she said was true, she didn't do anything wrong.
"I have to go find someone." I declared. It probably wasn't safe for her to be out in the woods alone. While I didn't know if anyone would hurt her, the same couldn't be said for some of the animals in the woods.
"Are you sure that's safe?" Stefan asked me. "I could go with you."
"No, I have Mace." I told him before I walked into the woods. I figured it was a good idea considering how much weaker I was. It wasn't long after that I noticed Elena was following me. I couldn't believe that she was still judging me even when I was drunk. That was totally hypocritical.
"Mary, stop and come back to the party." She ordered. Now she thought that she could boss me around as well. "It's not safe out here."
I continued walking before I tripped over something. Wearing a dress was a mistake.
"Are you okay?" She asked as she ran over to me. I looked at what I tripped over, and it was a body. I then noticed that it wasn't just any body, it was Vicki. I couldn't believe it. She was bleeding from her neck. I was pretty sure that one of the animals had attacked her.
"Oh my God, Vicki!" I remarked. I was mad at her, but I didn't want her to die. "Is she dead?"
"Check her pulse." Elena instructed. I went to do so before she suddenly gasped for air before passing out again. Well, it was good to know that she wasn't dead. I grabbed her torso and Elena grabbed her legs as we carried her back to the party.
"Someone call an ambulance!" Elena screamed. I hoped that got everyone's attention. I knew the best way to attract attention was to make a scene.
A crowd quickly formed before we set her down on a table. The ambulance arrived pretty quickly along with the police and animal control. It made sense considering the bite marks on her neck. I mean it had to be an animal. I wasn't like it could be anything else. It wasn't like it was a vampire or werewolf because those weren't real. Even though I was kind of obsessed with the supernatural, I still knew that none of it was real. I took a seat away from everyone with a bottle. I was pretty sure that Elena had called Jenna to pick us up since we had both walked here and didn't otherwise have a ride.
"You know those guys in blue are the cops." Elena quipped. I chugged the bottle and then chucked it. "People are going to stop giving you breaks. We need to move on already."
"You write in the cemetery alone. That's not what I call moving on." I pointed out. I knew that I needed to shine a light on her hypocrisy.
"Mom and Dad wouldn't have wanted this from us." Elena stated. I don't think that the dead could want anything. Though, I would bet that they would be disappointed if they saw us right now. I wished that I could see them because part of this whole thing with being a girl was that it coincided with their deaths.
Jenna drove us home and I noticed that it was only 10:00. Nevertheless, I did feel sleepy, probably from all of the booze that I drank. I went to my room and began to change for bed. I was pretty sure that Jenna wasn't surprised that we were drunk. She was partying not that long ago. I couldn't help but wonder why she ended up getting custody of us instead of our uncle John. At least she didn't say anything about it. While he had never had kids either, he was definitely more responsible. I didn't even know where he was, but it didn't even really matter.
I wore a tank top and my panties to bed. I looked outside my window and noticed that Stefan was outside. I decided to put a robe on and answered the door. I had this girly little robe that barely covered anything, but I supposed it did cover the important parts.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him. I couldn't help but wonder how he even knew where I lived. Then I remembered that he could probably have probably found out from my purse. That still didn't explain why he had come over.
"I know that it's late, but I just wanted to know if you're okay." He declared.
"You know that has to be my least favorite question in the world." I explained. I also didn't like questions about clothes, but I was at least getting used to those. "It's all that I've been hearing since May."
"Well, I'm sorry for asking you." He apologized. How was this guy so polite? "I suppose the answer wasn't something that you enjoyed either."
"Well, it started out nice, but then I just let the sarcasm take over." I told him. "The answers would be something like 'Does it look like I'm okay' or 'I'm super if you don't count that my parents are dead'. So, it feels weird saying all of this to you while you're outside. Would you like to come inside?"
He stepped in and I closed the door. Maybe I wasn't interested in having him as a boyfriend, but I could at least use a friend.
So what kind of relationship will Mary have with Stefan? She's obviously not interested in dating, but will things stay that way? Please don't forget to review.
