The Loud family burst through the doors of The Black Market, Royal Woods' largest superstore where criminals and terrorists purchased all their necessary illegal goods. The Loud family raced down the aisles to get all the necessities in order to survive the end of the world.

"Water! We need water!" Lynn Sr. shouted, tossing bottles into his cart with reckless abandon. "And don't forget the heavy water! You never know when you'll need to slow down neutrons!"

Rita, her hair frazzled, tossed cans of beans into the cart with reckless abandon. "Kids! Grab all the batteries you can carry! We need to power our... our... whatever it is we need to power!"

Luan, juggling armfuls of toilet paper, quipped, "Well, this situation sure is 'shocking'! Get it? Because of the batteries?"

"Why is she still alive?" screamed Lola.

Luan grabbed Lola by the collar and seethed, "Because I'll wipe you all out if you kill me again." And that was the end of that. No more fucking with Luan.

Suddenly, Lori burst into the store, her face pale with terror. "Guys! Guys! It's literally worse than we thought! The situation has escalated! They've started fighting! North and West Korea just took out South Korea and Sub-Korea! Even Super Korea is gone!"

A hush fell over the store.

A nearby shopper gasped. "What about Taured?"

"Closed its borders!" Lori wailed. "A man tried to escape, and he vanished into thin air! Even his passport is gone!"

Panic erupted in The Black Market. Shoppers began fighting over the last pack of toilet paper, while others built forts out of cereal boxes. Shoppers began fighting over the last box of Twinkies, convinced it was the only food that could survive nuclear winter.

Lynn Sr. stood frozen, his mind flashing back to scenes he'd never actually experienced. "Duck and cover," he muttered, diving under a nearby display of inflatable pool toys. "This is it. This is the path mankind has elected to take. I can't believe this is happening!"

Meanwhile, back at 1217 Franklin Avenue, Lincoln lounged on the couch in his underwear, utterly engrossed in his Tiger Electronic handheld game. The tinny sounds of Sonic 3D Blast filled the air as he mashed buttons with intense concentration. "Come on, Sonic! 3D Blast through that maze!" he cheered, describing a game that was absolutely not Tiger Electronics' Sonic 3D Blast.

As the Louds rushed home, they found Royal Woods in a state of complete pandemonium. Traffic had come to a standstill as protesters flooded the streets. Signs bobbed above the crowd, bearing slogans like "No More Corian Conflict!" and "What The Fuck Is Correa?"

A giant, waddling tomato rolled down Main Street, squashing cars in its path. Nobody cared. Nearby, a renegade bipedal cat in a top hat was leading a group of looters, their arms full of TV dinners and garden gnomes.

Suddenly, the sky darkened. A solar eclipse plunged the town into an eerie twilight. The rioters paused, looking up in awe at the celestial event that nobody had predicted or could explain.

"The end times are here!" someone shouted, prompting a new wave of panic.

As Vanzilla roared down Franklin Avenue and pulled up to their home, they saw Lincoln through the window, still playing his game, sipping cherry cola from a hat labeled "Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen III (He's #1!)".

"Oh thank goodness he's still okay!" cried Rita, as the rest of the family rushed in to find new ways to keep Lincoln safe.

Across town, Clyde, Ronnie Anne, and the battered remnants of their gang huddled in an alley.

"Lincoln," Clyde muttered, adjusting his glasses. "I hope he's okay. Clincoln McCloud forever!"

Ronnie Anne nodded, her chola makeup smeared. "That lame-o better be safe, or I'll... I'll..." She trailed off, realizing she'd rather hug Lincoln than punch him.

And in the rubble of the prison, Lucy lay groaning. "Groooooan... groooooan... Pained groooooan," she intoned monotonously. As she pondered why an extremely muscular Gray alien in spandex had attacked her, a realization dawned. "Gasp," she said, her voice devoid of any actual surprise. "That's why..."

The Loud family huddled in Lisa's bunker, a high-tech fortress buried beneath their backyard. Fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting an eerie glow on the faces of the anxious family members.

"I didn't invite you all here," Lisa grumbled, adjusting her glasses. "This was supposed to be my personal doomsday retreat."

Lynn Sr. chuckled nervously. "Come on, sweetie. You wouldn't leave your family to face nuclear winter alone, would you?"

Lisa sighed. "I suppose not. Though I did have plans to repopulate the Earth with a group of genetically superior individuals."

The family collectively decided to ignore that comment.

Hours passed. The expected apocalypse never came. Instead, Lori's phone buzzed with a news alert.

"Guys, you're literally not going to believe this," she said, her eyes wide with disbelief. "The war... it's over."

"What?" the family exclaimed in unison.

Lori continued reading. "Apparently, the leaders of North and West Korea decided to settle their differences with a game of Beer Pong. It was a 'friendly match,' and now all troops are returning home."

A stunned silence fell over the bunker.

"Well," Lynn Sr. finally said, "I guess it's back to our regularly scheduled program?"

As the Loud family emerged from their bunker, they were greeted by a Royal Woods in chaos. Despite the war's anticlimactic end, riots continued to rage for no apparent reason. Buildings burned, looters ran amok, there was a literal storm of molotov cocktails causing a giant fire-tornado to form, and that giant waddling tomato from earlier was now leading a conga line down Main Street, its massive form killing and maiming indiscriminately.

"Huh," Luna mused. "Guess the people just really needed to let off some steam, dudes."

Lynn Sr. surveyed the destruction with a shrug. "Well, no sense in letting this beautiful day go to waste. Who's up for a barbecue?"

And so, as Royal Woods crumbled around them and reports came in of Michigan slowly falling apart, the Loud family fired up the grill. The smell of burgers and hot dogs wafted through the air, mingling with the scent of burning rubble and anarchy.

Leni, arranging perfectly color-coordinated paper plates, suddenly perked up. "Oh! I just had the best idea for how to fix everything!"

The family turned to her, hope glimmering in their eyes.

"What if," Leni continued, her face scrunched in concentration, "we just turned Michigan upside down and shook it? Like, all the bad stuff would fall out, right?"

The hope in their eyes quickly faded.

Luan, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, suddenly snapped. "That's it! I can't take this anymore!" She stood up, her eyes wild with determination. "If no one else is going to take control of this situation, then I will! I'll put an end to this world of pissants!"

Before anyone could stop her, Luan marched off towards downtown, a manic grin spreading across her face.

Meanwhile, across town, Rusty Spokes stood atop a pile of debris, his eyes narrowed in a perfect Kubrick Stare. The sewage from his earlier escape had hardened into a crusty armor, giving him the appearance of a post-apocalyptic warrior.

"Royal Woods thought it could break me," he muttered, his voice low and menacing. "But now, I'll break Royal Woods. My vengeance will be swift, and it will be terrible. And possibly quite smelly."

As Rusty prepared to unleash his master plan, Lucy found herself at a crossroads. Still battered from her encounter with Jiren, she realized she couldn't return home just yet. There was something she needed to do first.

"Sigh," she intoned, her voice barely above a whisper. "I must atone for my sins. But first, I need to figure out what those sins are."

As the bloody and broken Lucy limped off to find inspiration in the chaos, the sun began to set on Royal Woods. The sky turned a brilliant orange, perfectly complementing the flames engulfing City Hall as the revolutionaries overthrow the bourgeoisie and now every building in town was on fire and falling apart and the rioters were dancing like madman in the rubble, most of them also burning to death.

Back at the Loud house barbecue, Lynn Sr. flipped another burger. "You know," he mused, "maybe this is all for the best. A little destruction, a little rebuilding. It's the circle of life!"

Rita nodded, sipping her drink. "Here's to another day as Family Loud!"

All the Louds present tap their vodka glasses and take big gulps. Lily burped and went, "Poo poo!" and passed out.

Right as she thought to send a text to Bobby, Lori looked around. "Wait, where's Lana?"

Little did they know, Lana and Tootie had now achieved symbiosis and Lana had mastered her new powers of Fart-Fu and was currently propelling herself around the solar system like Superman. Look at her go!