"So all of you survived because of this Gale guy?"
Eliza nodded. "He probably wouldn't like you to put it like that, but yes, we did. He was the one who steered everyone into the forest, and knew how to get far ahead. Of course people helped to gather food and hunted as well, but he was clearly the most experienced. Without him, I don't know if that many of us would've made it."
They made their way out of the lounge and back to the dormitory wing.
"That's quite impressive." Mindy commented, "If she is not already, Coin will be on to him in no time. Especially knowing that he is close to the Mockingjay. How old is he by the way?"
"He's a year older than me, nineteen."
Her eyebrows shot upwards. "You both look older," she noted.
"It's probably the lifestyle," Eliza shrugged. "Who is this Coin everyone keeps talking about?"
"Basically Thirteen's president; like Snow, but slightly less tyrannical. Or at least I hope so." Mindy whispered the last part, looking a bit disturbed, "Some days I'm not so sure."
"I really doubt someone could ever be as bad as him. Just the fact that she accepted us here, is enough for me to be thankful."
"Yes, but don't let yourself be fooled. She is not a fairy godmother, to say the least. Your room is that way, isn't it?" She asked, pointing to the hallway to their right, to what she answered with a nod. "I'll see you around then. Nice to meet you, Eliza from 12."
Her smile comforted Eliza, and she lingered in the hallway for a few seconds, watching how her blond silky hair moved as she walked away, a hint of a memory in the back of her mind. Once she was back in her room, trying to fall asleep, she couldn't. Instead, she just kept on reliving it all over again.
Eliza woke up on the ground again, taking a second to remember the whole scope of her circumstances. She had been sleeping near the traces of the fire from the night before, her head on top of her sewing bag, and her body curdled up in a ball, trying to keep itself warm. Most people around her were resting as well, probably too uncomfortable to be able to sleep.
She checked on Erica first, desperate to know if her friend felt any better, and found her sleeping alongside Jacob, with a bit of color back on her face.
Then she looked for a quieter place to sit. Walking a bit further alongside the lake shore, she found a recess hidden by a big rock. There was a perfect patch of sand to sit on the opposite side of it, where she was able to survey the whole camp, while still going unnoticed.
Her stomach wasn't empty anymore, nor was she dehydrated out of her mind. She had slept a little bit and did not have any mortal wounds. There was no physical distraction to keep her from thinking about what had happened, and what had been lost. She allowed herself to cry then.
The house she had lived in all her life. Her backyard. The road to school, the district's square…her family's grave…
In a few seconds, she was sobbing, unable to stop the train of thoughts.
She would never see it again. Even if they survived this, whatever it was. Even if they stayed lost in the middle of the forest and were able to stay alive for a few more days, or a few more weeks, what would come after? The only thing left was for the Capitol to find them, how much better would they be then? How was that better than having a quick and painless death by explosion?
"You seem to be freaking out," a voice said from behind her.
Eliza jumped with surprise, simultaneously scared and embarrassed to be found like that. Gale apparently was able to appear out of nowhere without being noticed.
"I thought no one was around," she said in a thread of voice, wiping her face and blowing her nose on her old handkerchief.
"I just got here. You kind of stole my spot," he said, dropping his bow on the ground and sitting next to her.
"I'm sorry. Just felt like being alone and liked the look of this place."
"Yeah. There's another one, a bit further ahead, where you can see the other side of the lake," he pointed at it with his finger. "It can't be more than ten minutes walk."
"Do you want me to go there now, so you can get this all for yourself?" She was only half joking. He could be politely hinting at that, so that he could be alone as well, right?
He did laugh at it, though.
"Don't worry, there's enough space here for the two of us."
"Malnutrition comes in handy sometimes." Eliza wondered what was wrong with her as she said it. Was it really the time for a lame joke?
"Yes, especially when you have to carry people around. You are light as a feather Burrich, do you even eat at all?"
She let a laugh out of her nose that sounded less upbeat than she would've liked. "Oh, you know, sometimes," and she dared glance at him, "I don't think I thanked you properly for that, so, thank you."
"Don't worry, you did thank me every time you dozed out of sleep, so…about every other ten seconds."
"I don't remember anything, sorry."
He nodded, acknowledging her thanks, but did not look at her, or said anything else. At least for a few minutes.
Eliza looked at the lake for a long time, taking in its beauty. It was not the ocean, but it was closer than anything she had ever seen.
"So, what exactly were you crying about?" Gale asked, suddenly.
She almost laughed.
"The reason you imagine is probably the one. But there is a whole list of them, if you want it."
"I don't know, I thought your boyfriend dumped you or something like that. Can't really see any other reason."
This time she did chuckle.
"You're really perceptive." She said, as she took a look at her handkerchief and decided it couldn't go any further without a wash. She got up, shaking the sand out of her pants, and walked near the edge of the lake, damping the handkerchief in the water. After a few movements, still with her back to him, she was brave enough to ask. "What were you thinking about, that made you come here as well?"
Gale exhaled loudly, as she was beginning to realise was a habit. Then, he stayed quiet for such a long time that she thought he was not going to answer. When she finished with her handkerchief and returned to her place, looking back at him, the answer was clear.
"Oh, Gale,'' he was covering his face with his hand, and his shoulders shrugged over himself. Six feet of a man seemed to have shrunk to half the size.
Eliza felt an overwhelming urge to comfort him, but had no idea how to do it without scaring him away.
She sat back by his side, and asked in a low voice:
"It's Katniss, isn't it?"
Gale moved his hand away from his face. There were no tears, but his eyes were red, and his face said it all, as he stared into the lake like Eliza had done minutes before, his breathing uneven.
"I just…We have no idea what happened. She could be dead for days. If we end up staying here, we might never know and…fucking hell, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do."
"You're doing everything you can," she reassured him. "And as painful as it is, there's nothing you can do for her now."
"We don't even know if she survived, how can I—"
"It's Katniss, if someone has a chance, it is her. But, even if she doesn't..." Eliza took a break, hearing his spastic breathing. "Even if she doesn't, you did all she could have asked for. Her family is alive and safe because of you."
He did not answer, and Eliza did not find anything else she could say. However, she remembered her mother telling her that sometimes, the only thing left to do to make someone feel better, was making sure they knew they were not alone.
She got a little closer to him, and squeezed his arm, not daring to touch him any further.
Then, he surprised her by letting his head down on her shoulder.
Her body tensed up with the contact, but she didn't want to push him away. On the contrary, she adjusted, to make sure he was comfortable.
"Did you sleep at all until now?" She asked quietly.
"I didn't feel like it. I keep thinking about everything that could happen."
"Maybe you should try for a little bit. I'll wake you up if something comes up."
His response came by laying down on the ground, resting his head on her lap, surprising her once again.
At first his eyes were still open, staring into the lake. Then, when she noticed his eyelids getting heavier, Eliza dared to run a hand through his hair, remembering how it used to calm the children and help them sleep in the nursery.
"I'm sorry," he murmured a few minutes later, his eyes shut. "I'm really tired."
"It's okay. I'll be here when you wake up."
