Chapter 11
(one hour later. The Negotiator - Medbay)
As The Negotiator rushed through hyperspace, Jaina sat still, her expression almost completely blank as the medical droid continued to examine her.
The door to the Medbay slid open, and Obi-Wan stepped back in, pocketing his comlink and clasping his hands tightly behind his back. His expression was impassive, despite the thoughts and emotions running through his own mind as he waited for the examination to finish. "How is she?"
"Process running." The droid intoned. "Analysis complete. Moderate strain to tissue in the immediate vicinity. No permanent damage to larynx detected."
"So, does that mean she does not need to stay overnight?" the Jedi Master asked quietly.
"That is correct," the medical droid replied flatly. "You may return to your quarters. However further observation is recommended. Recommendation: twelve hours of bedrest. Minimal exertion for twenty-four hours after that."
Its electronic gaze turned towards the Padawan. "Patient will have residual pain when speaking or swallowing. Take prescribed medication within the four hour intervals."
Obi-Wan exhaled quietly, glancing back towards his little one. He hated seeing her in pain like this, but he also knew that he couldn't argue with the medical droid's assessment.
"Did you hear that, little one? Further observation is recommended." He repeated the droid's words, a sternness in his voice, but also a hint of worry. "And you'll need to ensure you take the medication on schedule."
Jaina sighed, nodding softly.
"I'll look after her," Obi-Wan said quietly towards the droid, before turning towards his little Padawan. "Come on."
Jaina carefully slipped off the examination bed and silently followed her Master out the medbay, and towards their cabin.
Obi-Wan looked down at the young girl following by his side. She had not said a single word since the server room, and his Masterly intuition gave him the feeling it was not due to the discomfort in her throat.
He could feel how exhausted she was, how raw her emotions continued to be. She had exerted herself tonight—not just by fighting Ventress, but by caring too much, too deeply.
"Time for some rest," he whispered, laying a gentle hand on the small of her back and continuing to lead her down the hallway. "You deserve it."
Jaina nodded softly, doing her best to maintain her usual stoic facade as she followed along down the corridor, past the saluting orange-striped troopers of the 212th, until they finally reached their quarters.
She immediately headed towards the double-deck bunk inside, beginning to climb the ladder towards her top bunk.
"Oh no, you don't." The Jedi Master was quick to catch her wrist before she could even take a step up the ladder. "The medical droid specifically instructed that you were to remain under observation. And unless I am mistaken, the top bunk is most certainly not in my line of sight."
He gestured towards the bottom bunk.
Jaina sighed softly but silently complied, climbing into the bottom bunk.
"Good." Satisfied that his little Padawan was now finally resting where she was supposed to be, Obi-Wan settled himself and sat down next to her.
"Now." Keep her talking. "Is there anything I can get you? Is there anything you need?" Don't let her retreat into her own little quiet world...not now. "Tea?"
Jaina paused for a moment, considering her Master's question.
Despite every instinct to decline any help because she believed she had already been enough of a burden throughout the day, she was exhausted...and the thought of tea actually sounded…quite nice for a throat that was raw and aching...
Sensing her contemplation, the Jedi Master raised a questioning eyebrow, waiting patiently for an answer.
He knew that his little one was stubborn. Knew that she often worried about being a burden. Knew that she was still probably berating herself on the inside. That she would never feel satisfied until she was perfect, and certain that she would never be a source of disappointment.
He gently shook his head, making his way to the kitchenette. "Say no more."
Jaina blinked. "No, wait—it's fine—there's no need to—"
Obi-Wan raised a hand to silence her, silently ordering her to stay in bed.
"If I may be blunt," her Master's voice was gentle, dry, and stern all in one—in that specific, unique way that only he was capable of. "I do not care if you do not want the tea, or the extra water, or the blanket. I am bringing them to you anyway, because I know you're not telling me the truth."
His expression softened as he stepped into the kitchenette and began to boil the water. Knowing his little one—knowing her so well—he did not even need to look back at her to figure out the expression she was making.
The furrowed brows, and the downcast eyes of guilt. The guilt that was absolutely not needed.
Obi-Wan returned after a few minutes with two cups of tea in his hands, the beverages hot and steaming.
He settled himself next to her on the bunk once more, handing her one of the mugs, his eyes fixed on her features. On the bruise still present around her neck.
"So, the call I took a while ago from Master Yoda," he said, strategically changing the topic in order to draw her out of her own thoughts. "I received some news. Are you feeling well enough for a little diplomatic mission in the morning?" He asked softly, hoping to take her mind off of everything that had just happened.
"Nothing too major," he continued, his voice turning playful, laced with sarcasm. "Just a…little negotiation with Jabba the Hutt, something about his kidnapped son, Rotta. It should not be too big of a deal."
Jaina nodded silently, sipping from the mug of tea.
Obi-Wan watched her over the rim of his own mug. Still quiet, still subdued. He studied her closely, observing every little shift in her expression, every little flicker of emotion in the blue of her eyes.
"No questions on the matter of the Hutt?" he pointed out, his voice light for the sake of conversation. "No witty little jabs? No 'Did I hear you correctly, Master', or, 'You've got to be joking, Master'?"
Jaina paused and shrugged wearily.
Obi-Wan watched as she shrugged, noting the visible exhaustion written all over her face. "Very well..." he murmured, deciding to take on a different approach. "And once we've negotiated with Jabba," the Jedi Master continued, the teasing clear in his voice, "then it's on to an even easier mission…convincing the Hutts to grant the Republic access to their space lanes."
"No pressure at all, of course. But I'm afraid you may actually need to speak. I do hope today has not expunged that particular ability of yours?"
Jaina nodded silently once more, taking another sip.
Obi-Wan paused, watching her for a moment, his eyes trailing over the bruise on her neck, the marks of Ventress' fingers a visible reminder of the assassin's assault.
His heart ached. He wanted nothing more than to make his little one feel better.
"All right, then…" he whispered, sighing softly and setting his own mug aside on the nightstand. "Get some sleep, my little one. We should reach Tatooine in eighteen hours. We'll…we'll figure the rest out once we drop out of hyperspace, all right?"
The hours of silence had been deafening.
The Jedi Master paused. "...Jaina, please say something. Anything."
"…I'm sorry," she finally whispered.
"Oh, little one, no, no…" Obi-Wan muttered softly, sighing. The way she always felt the need to apologize for everything—everything—just tore at his heart.
"Hush now, you have nothing to apologize for," he said gently. "Remember that. You have done nothing wrong."
"You've been training me for this," Jaina murmured. "I should've—I should've been able to defend myself better, I should have—I shouldn't have needed—the day you chose me as your Padawan, I swore to myself that I wouldn't let you down and—"
"Enough." Obi-Wan lifted his hand, his fingers gently cupping the girl's cheek. "Stop that, Jaina. No more. I have told you time and time again today: none of this was your fault."
"Ventress got the better of you. But you did not let me down." He gently tucked another soft curl behind her ear, his eyes firm, unwavering. "Do you remember why I chose you to be my Padawan?"
Jaina pressed her lips together in a small sigh. "Because I gave you a whole speech? I remember every excruciating, humiliating detail."
"Yes, you did. You did give me a speech." Obi-Wan smiled, amused. "And what did you tell me?"
He wanted to hear it. Wanted her to say it.
He wanted to remind her why she had worked so hard to be chosen and accepted.
Why her dedication to the cause was so important to him.
Jaina paused, lowering both her mug of tea and her gaze to the blankets. "I said I understood that there were many other students who were more talented duelists than me, and would probably be the more obvious candidates."
"I said that I wasn't born particularly exceptional... but I…I would work harder than anybody else."
Obi-Wan softly cupped her chin, tilting her face to look up towards him. "And?"
Her honesty during that very moment had been an important and impressive display of bravery—because he knew how hard it could be to show vulnerability, to speak one's truth, especially as a youngling approaching a prospective Jedi Master.
"And?" He repeated softly. "What else?"
"I said I wanted to do my part," Jaina said quietly. "That I spent all my years as a youngling trying to prepare for the galaxy out there. I said I wanted to learn. I wanted to grow."
Obi-Wan smiled. In that short speech, Jaina had expressed everything he could have ever hoped he'd heard. He was proud of her.
"And you've already been doing that, you are doing your part," he reassured her, his voice soft and gentle. "You're the most hardworking Padawan I've ever met."
"…But what if it's not enough?" Jaina asked, raising her gaze towards him. "There is so much of the Dark Side out there—Ventress, Grievous, Dooku—what if I made a mistake that day, and I never should have approached you—then you would've ended up with a second Padawan perhaps not necessarily in the same league as Anakin, but maybe a little bit closer to him than me—"
"Stop," Obi-Wan said, quietly still, but with more firmness. His blue eyes were serious, his gaze never once leaving her. "Stop that right now, Jaina."
The Jedi Master paused, taking a deep breath and exhaling heavily. She was thinking too deep, she was too deep in her own thoughts. Too worried.
She was spiraling, and needed something to pull her out.
Obi-Wan sighed softly once more, reaching over for the duffle bag next to his bunk, and gently pulling out a small, stuffed Ewok with a little pink bow.
"Focus on this for a moment."
Jaina's eyes widened. "You…you packed Cocoa?"
"Yes." Obi-Wan replied, smiling softly as he handed it to her. "I did."
She needed it to ground her back to reality.
"But-but how?! I always assumed we needed to be strategic about what we packed for missions, and maximize the space in our packs and all," Jaina chuckled softly, reaching out to nuzzle her face into the soft furs. "Doesn't this count as contraband? What about GAR packing regulations—"
"—Being High General has its perks, should we actually get caught," Obi-Wan teased softly. "And you see, the Ewok is strategic. I can't have my Commander going too far into her own thoughts. I need Cocoa on-call 24/7. In case of emergencies."
Jaina snickered quietly, resting her cheek against the plush and inhaling the scent.
Obi-Wan smirked, seeing little traces of her anxiety beginning to disperse. "I may have had to sacrifice a few extra tunics, some medicines, maybe some socks…" he teased. "But, at least Cocoa was able to come along, and perform his duty."
Jaina froze. "...what? Really?"
Obi-Wan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "No, Jaina. Not really. Of course not really." The Jedi Master was still playing on her anxiety, which he knew was finally starting to ease.
But her expression was both hilarious and adorable at the moment.
"I'm only messing with you, my little one," he teased. "Now, please stop overthinking so much."
Jaina rolled her eyes. "You were doing that thing again, where I can never tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
"And that's exactly what makes it so incredibly enjoyable for me," Obi-Wan retorted.
Jaina chuckled, shaking her head in amusement.
Her eyes widened after a few moments. "Wait…you mean, every single mission these past four months…you'd always packed Cocoa? So he was just, what, waiting around in your duffle bag, every single time we were away from the Temple?"
Obi-Wan smirked. "Of course. Where did you think I was keeping him?" he teased, "Surely you didn't think I just left him at home, alone, and with no supervision?"
He chuckled. "He is the most mischievous of all stuffed species, leaving him unattended wouldn't really have been responsible of me as a Master, now would it?"
"No, I suppose not." Jaina giggled. "How did I never see you sneak him into your bag from my bedroom?!"
"I have my ways," Obi-Wan replied mysteriously, feigning innocence. "I am a master of stealth, after all." He shrugged. "Anyway, I would never leave the Ewok to fend for himself. Who knows what kind of trouble he'd get into?"
"He is very well-behaved, for your information," Jaina teased softly, nuzzling into the plushie.
Obi-Wan smirked. "Indeed," he said dryly.
There was silence for several peaceful minutes, before the Jedi Master spoke again, a gentle and soft tone in his voice. "...Jaina?"
She looked up from the Ewok. "Master?"
He paused, considering his words. "When I chose you as my Padawan, I knew you weren't another Anakin," he said gently. "And I know that you knew it too, you said so yourself, if you recall."
"There will never be another Anakin. Every Jedi, every person, is unique, and I know that you know that too. Perhaps you just needed a little bit of reminding."
Obi-Wan offered her a gentle smile,, holding her gaze. "You were the one I felt was ready to learn how to become a Jedi under my guidance. During these times."
He paused for another moment, breathing steadily. Her mind was sharp, her compassion was unlimited, but most importantly, her heart was both strong, and kind.
"I knew then, just as I know now—you were the one I wanted. You are the one I need." The Jedi Master smiled softly. "You are not a mistake."
Jaina nodded slowly, gazing downwards once more at Cocoa. "I just…Just when I think I've finally adjusted, and adapted myself to it all, I feel so...so uncertain sometimes," she admitted softly. "...Afraid, even…I just thought that the…the moments of fear would've…lessened by now."
Obi-Wan cupped her cheek again, pulling her gaze from the Ewok.
"My little one. You are thirteen. You are in a galaxy at war," he said softly, his tone was gentle, but still had a hint of seriousness to it, as he continued. "An entire galaxy. At war."
"I've told you before, you are allowed to feel afraid." He paused, tucking a loose curl behind her ear as his expression softened. "Fear can sometimes be a good thing, my Padawan. Fear can sometimes be necessary."
Jaina frowned. "But that's what I don't understand, Master Yoda always says 'Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to'—"
"—But fear can also be a tool," Obi-Wan continued steadily. "Fear is not an enemy that must be repressed—the roots of fear must be understood."
"We must acknowledge it for what it is—that it can sometimes lead to precautions and preparation. To being mindful, and being vigilant." He paused. "What Master Yoda is telling us, is that if we do not control our fear, it can control us."
"Fear is a part of every Jedi's life. We are not meant to live devoid of fear. We are meant to live despite it."
Jaina paused for several moments, then slowly nodded, her mind still…processing. She sighed softly.
"I still remember those first few moments on Murkhana so clearly…I couldn't imagine you ever being afraid of anything," she murmured, chuckling weakly. "You were just...standing in the middle of it all—all the explosions, the hundreds of enemies…so utterly and completely unfazed by anything."
"My little one…" Obi-Wan said quietly, seriously.
The Jedi Master spoke with total honesty, and as he did, he let his wall down just enough to give his little Padawan a glimpse into his own emotions. "I was frightened that day. I was terrified."
Jaina stared at him. "You were? Of what?"
"I was afraid of failing you," Obi-Wan didn't blink, didn't break eye contact, didn't hide his emotions. "Your first mission, as my Padawan, in the middle of a war…"
The Jedi Master shook his head and looked away, as though trying to push the memory down—the explosions, the sand, the blasterfire, her wide eyes as their gunship landed and the weight of the war first sunk in. Her rigid body, standing completely petrified.
"I was afraid of getting you in over your head," he continued. "Of putting you in harm's way before you were ready."
Obi-Wan paused. "But most importantly…" he sighed. "...most importantly, I was afraid of being forced to stand by and watch, as I lost you. The same way I lost my Master."
"I still am, Jaina."
Jaina gazed up at him, her eyes widening for a moment, as she was stunned into complete silence.
"I…I didn't know, I had no idea that you…" She sighed softly. "I'm so sorry, Master…I…can't even imagine what that must have been like for you…"
"It was a long time ago," Obi-Wan looked back at her, and though his eyes were warm, they carried an intense weight beneath them—as if his voice had only scratched the surface of that past pain.
He wanted to say more, to say so many things...but it was too much.
He could not afford to get lost in his own memories. Not tonight.
So, his lips closed—into that familiar firm line they always did.
He knew that his Padawan probably had many more questions, but he hoped his answer would somehow be enough, at least for now.
And he hoped that maybe—just maybe—his little one would understand why he felt the way he did.
"…I'm afraid of many things, my little one," Obi-Wan finally said, his eyes lingering for a brief moment on the bruises around her neck once more.
"Fear is not something we Jedi often speak of. But it is something we all have, in some way or another. Even Yoda," he said. "What we cannot forget, is that it is how we choose to act—despite that fear—that determines if we succeed or fail. The key is recognizing when it is helping us, or hindering us."
Jaina nodded thoughtfully, setting her mug of tea down on the nightstand.
She sighed quietly. "I…understand…" she murmured. "But it's…it's definitely going to be something I'll need to remind myself of...every now and then."
Obi-Wan smiled, his soft tone carrying a hint of pride as he looked at his little one. "One day, you won't need to remind yourself anymore," he said gently. "It will become second nature to you. Trust me."
"But for now…" The Jedi Master softly rubbed at his little one's curls, feeling a twinge of pain as he saw her bruises again. "Please get some sleep."
"We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and I need your mind to be alert." He sighed. "The Hutts are treacherous, and I need you to help ensure that we are not being tricked, or intentionally mistranslated by their protocol droids. These negotiations must succeed."
"Okay…" Jaina sighed softly, settling in more snugly into the blankets. "I should warn you though, my Huttese is pretty rusty. I only took it for two years as a youngling, I've always found the language a bit dull."
Obi-Wan chuckled. "Dull?" He said, his voice tinged with amusement. "Huttese is many things, but it is not dull. It is vulgar, coarse, and crude."
The Jedi Master paused for a moment, his expression growing slightly more serious, and his tone becoming kinder. "I need your mind on alert, just to help me ensure that everything is as it should be. The Hutts are notorious for taking every single advantage they can during any negotiation."
"I'll be on alert, Master." Jaina nodded softly, leaning her cheek against Cocoa's furs. "I'm fine. Really. I promise."
Obi-Wan gently rubbed the back of her bruised neck. He was the calm presence she needed tonight, after the difficult day.
The difficult months.
"I know you are, you always are," he whispered, smiling down at her—the Padawan he was proud of, the girl he would do anything to protect, the child he loved. "Good night, little one. Rest well."
