Butterfly Effect

Just so you know, by the time you're reading this, the end of last chapter will have been changed. I hate it when that happens, but a better idea came only after already publishing it. Soo, please check that out so you don't get confused by this chapter. And about this chapter, I hope you'll like it.

I do not own JoJo's Bizarre Adventure


Chapter 16: Inseparable friends

Luxor, Egypt:

In this very old and touristic city, near the 'Valley of the Kings', the crusaders were having a picnic.

(Chew)

Joseph went to a local toilet, only to find out it was much more horrible than he expected. "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOODD!"

Poop doesn't get flushed down by water there, it dries up, turns into dust and flies away. And there was no water for washing hands either, only sterile bacteria-free desert sand.

Disgusted by this local toilet, which could hardly even be called one, the old Joestar decided not to use it and instead use a real toilet somewhere else. On his walk back to the crusaders, he encountered a rock with an electrical outlet.

"…No matter however you look at it, this makes no sense. Why is there a socket in a rock?" he questioned with bafflement, widening his eyes a little. "I wonder what it's for, there's no electricity here-"

Upon touching the outlet he was instantly proven wrong by a surge of electricity that made his skin prickle intensely and his hair all spiky. "Uwaaaaaah! It shocked me!"

'This is insane! How even…?' Joseph wondered in disbelief, fallen onto his buttocks as a violent reaction to the shock.

Just then, Caesar came from the other side of the tall rock, finding his friend down. "Hey Joseph, are you all right?" the old Zeppeli wondered in confusion and concern, raising a brow. "Come on, get up. We're going."

"…Eh?" Still confused due to his own strange incident, the old Joestar needed some time to recompose himself. "Oh, okay. You go ahead, I'll be right there."

Behind his longtime friend's back, Joseph pressed his teeth together and sweat some beads of bewilderment. His eyes widened back, so did his mouth when he proceeded to talk to himself. "Phew… that scared the living daylights out of me. I can't believe it was live. I guess the cables run underground?"

For he didn't know, it was a total mystery. The old Joestar merely got back onto his feet, dusted his clothes off and returned to his fellow crusaders.

They were about to leave this place, just packing their stuff beforehand. While doing that, Polnareff complained about a random man's radio being broken and just in static, telling him to turn it off.

Also, the cap of his coke bottle somehow attached itself onto Joseph's body, as if he was magnetic. The old Joestar decided not to comment on this, but he still opened his eyes and stared in confusion as he removed it.

"We'll reach Cairo in about 2 days." Avdol informed, speaking up. "Everyone is either injured to a degree or exhausted. What do you all think about staying in Luxor tonight and getting some rest?"

"Sounds good."

"Yeah."

"Let's do this, I'm really tired." the frenchman said, confirming it with his voice. "The Stands in Egypt are a lot stronger. We've been winning by a hair."

"It's a good idea to rest before going to Cairo." Kakyoin voiced his opinion. "But we shouldn't let our guards down."

Clapping once, the egyptian nodded quickly. "Well then, that settles it. Let's find a hotel."

With that, the crusaders walked away. On their way away from the area, a hammer came flying towards Joseph, though Caesar intercepted it. At the same time, a carpenter nearby started groveling and screaming in pain. "Aaaaaaaghhh….! The nails… It hurts!"

Mistaking the man for hitting his fingers, they left the hammer and then left themselves. What they didn't know was that those nails stabbed through the carpenter's mouth because a certain magnetized man walked by.

XXXXXXXXXX

Until the next day, there weren't really any more bad luck incidents. Though on the next day, those incidents started to pile up the moment the old Joestar went out of his bed.

A metallic office chair rolled on its own, slamming against his butt. "Wh- What the…? The chair moves on its own!"

That didn't really hurt, though it was still very surprising and unpleasant. Though the next accident hurt.

Joseph walked through the hotel corridor, encountering 2 young ladies. One wore a skirt with metallic pieces attached to it. As the old Joestar passed by, the metal buttons reacted to him, pulling up her skirt.

"EEEEEEK! What do you think you're doing, you old pervert?!" the lady screamed out in rage, proceeding to strike the innocent and confused old man in the face with her surprisingly hard fist. Though one couldn't simply blame an outsider unknowingly becoming victim of a Stand ability.

They then ran off, leaving behind a Joseph that didn't understand why he got punched. "Wh… What just happened?" he seriously wondered, rubbing his aching cheek.

Next, not much later, an old wrinkled lady passed by, wearing the same type of skirt. The old Joestar already cringed in dread, teeth clenched and eyes wide, expecting to get hit again. Though what happened next was even more horrifying.

"Oh my… You naughty man. You need to work on your approach." the old lady erotically smiled, charmed by this advance that didn't occur. "But still, so ravishing… Tee hee hee."

"It's not often that I see such a strong handsome man…" she fawned over him, blowing a kiss with her red lips that had wrinkles around them.

"OH. MY. GOOOOOOOOOOODD!" Joseph loudly let out in utter horror, appalled and disgusted, reflected by his facial expression.

He then did as a Joestar did, moving his legs in a fast manner. "Something's wrong! Something's definitely wrong!"

Running from an ugly lady whom he perceived as repulsive didn't mean running away from his bad luck. As he passed a hotel cart with trays full of silverware, a multitude of sharp knives and forks began attacking him.

"What the-?!" he called in a loud tone as the sharp and spiky silverware uncomfortably poked his back. "Metal objects flying towards me?! It can't be! Has my body… TURNED INTO A MAGNET?!"

The old Joestar almost couldn't take it anymore, he was about to freak out. He just kept running and running to avoid even more stabs. Once he reached a corner and took a turn, the majority of the flying silverware hit the wall in front of their path. Though the very few pieces that were attracted past the corner stabbed Joseph in the back when he slightly relaxed his muscles.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhh!" Needless to say, that hurt. A lot.

XXXXXXXXXX

Luckily enough, no one saw the silverware chase. Before going somewhere with more people around, the old Joestar removed all the metal pieces stuck onto him against his will.

Currently he was taking an escalator downwards and thinking about his terrible luck. 'What's drawing them towards me? A new Stand? But then… why can't I see it? Why are forks and knives flying at me without a Stand nearby?'

Being the intelligent Joseph Joestar, he came to a realization immediately after. One that made him sweat in stress and frustration. 'Could it be…? Is it because of that socket on the rock from yesterday? From that shock?'

'Unh! And Oh no! This escalator is made out of steel. And it looks like… the more I wait… the stronger the magnetic pull gets!' He was really suffering there.

Things became worse when a thin golden metal chain serving as decoration to the miniskirt of the woman in front of him wrapped around his hands and neck, while simultaneously getting stuck in the rift of the escalator. "What the… Aaaaaghk!"

With every second, the pulling pressure onto Joseph increased significantly. The old Joestar was about to panic. "H- Hey! You! The lady in the micro-miniskirt! You've got to help me! Your chain is wrapped around me, I can't move!" the flustered old man shouted, pleading for help. "I'm getting pulled into the escalator! I need you to press the emergency stop button at the bottom of the escalator, or else my arms will be torn off because the chains are pulling me in!"

"…Hey! Are you listening to me?!" he snapped in anger when she didn't respond to his call for help.

Though he really asked the wrong person for help, as the woman just slightly turned her head, enough for Joseph to see her evil smirk but not her eyes. "Heh heh heh heh. Have fun, Joseph Joestar."

"Wh- what?!" the old Joestar breathed out in disbelief, his eyes widening in shock and realization. "You! So you're the Stand user!"

Seeing the culprit walk away feigning innocence, Joseph's anger rose. But he couldn't afford to be angry, anger wouldn't help if he were about to die. "Aaaarhhhh! S- someone! Someone stop the escalator!"

He tried using [Hermit Purple] to press the emergency stop button himself, but somehow he couldn't find one, making a racket with all kinds of loud noise and even super hectically shaking his legs above his head. "Oh bloody hell! Does this escalator not have a damn emergency stop button?! AAAIIEEEEEH! AAAAAAGHHH! I'm done for! I'm gonna die! GLAAAAAGHH!"

It did have a stop button, he just didn't search hard enough. Caesar was the one who pressed it, checking up on his friend and saving him. The others asked him to go and check up on Joseph because the latter was far too late.

"Ahem, ahem, Joseph…"

"OH GOOOOOD! I'm gonna get decapitated by the escalator!"

"Ahem, ahem, *cough*"

The old Zeppeli tried to save his friend from embarrassing himself even more, though the damage was already done. All the people in the lobby awkwardly stared at the old Joestar, wondering what was wrong with him.

"Joseph, I already stopped the escalator. You're not going to die, stop yelling please."

Noticing all the people around him, Joseph reddened in shame at the fact that he made an ass out of himself in public. Freeing himself from the now steady chains, he tried to play it off as if he was just a security inspector. "A… Ah~, all good! There's nothing wrong with the escalator, the emergency button works too!"

Caesar wouldn't have believed him about 50 years ago, and he especially didn't believe him now. "Come on, that's clearly not it. Tell me, what's going on?" he whispered into his longtime friend's ear.

"It's a Stand! An enemy's Stand turned my body into a magnet-" (In)conveniently to prove it, an ashtray on top of a small lobby table got attracted by the old Joestar, forcing the old Zeppeli to remove it and dust off the spilled ash.

"Alright, I get it. Now we must find the Stand user, huh?"

Speaking of that, Joseph pointed at a pillar where he saw the Stand user hiding behind, shouting at Caesar. "There! That woman is the Stand user!"

"What?"

"We have to stop her! The magnetism keeps growing! I have to get rid of it somehow or I won't be able to move!" the old Joestar pressed, sicked and tired of his state. The stronger the magnetism grew, the more unlucky things happened to him.

"Then we should call the other-" the old Zeppeli was about to propose, but cut himself off as he reacted to a metal statue getting attracted by his magnetic friend, saving him again from an accident.

"There's no time to get them! Look, she's getting away!" Joseph refused, referring to the woman shamelessly casually walking away. "We have to follow her!"

Sighing, Caesar put the statue away. "I guess we have no choice, huh?"

XXXXXXXXXX

These two old men went after the female Stand user, though soon found themselves in front of the ladies' restroom door. It wasn't needed to say as to why one of them was a bit hesitant to get in.

"Uhm, Joseph… Are you…"

"I'm going in, my life is at stake! I have to catch her!" The other one was much more pushy with the issue, also pushing the door open.

'Ah, here goes…' the old Zeppeli sweatdropped, cringing inside. Like the old times, he was much more of a gentleman.

Entering inside, they found that most toilet booths were occupied. The ladies were still inside conducting their business, though that didn't mean they had to be any less careful. With their index fingers in front of their lips, they gestured to each other to stay quiet, resorting to whispering.

"Which one do you think she's in?"

"Look for the legs, she's got amazing ones. You can't miss them."

Trusting that description, Caesar crawled across the floor, eventually peeking into a booth where he encountered a pair of good-looking legs.

"Joseph, over here! Come here! Are these her legs?"

Stupidly enough, as Joseph sneaked past the booths, the magnetic locks reacted, causing the booth doors to open by themselves. The women sitting inside were quite irritated by the sight of men in their designated restroom to say the least.

What made it worse was that the only one who didn't react with hostility was the one woman the old Joestar didn't wish to see again. "Oh my, you're that handsome fellow from before. You've come looking for me here? Ohh! So dirty~."

Like before, she blew him a kiss with her red lips, though Joseph reacted with even more disgust than before.

"HOLY SHIT! It's that old hag again! But she was on the second floor!" he almost screamed, almost crying and definitely sweating. He flinched back in reflex. "Caesar, how could you mistake her legs for the other woman's?!"

"This is bad! Let's not talk about lady's legs, but about our own, because we really need them right now! Run for it!" the old Zeppeli cleverly deflected his fault, bearing an utterly embarrassed and shockingly terrified expression. Never in his life has he been this embarrassed before.

Avoiding trouble the easy way, the old friends sprinted towards the window and jumped out of it, escaping the ladies' wrath this way. On their way out, they still threw various objects at them and hurled insults at them.

As soon as they uncomfortably collided with their ground, they noticed that the target was outside as well, laughing at them from afar. "Heh heh heh heh…"

"Ah! There she is! The woman who made a fool out of me!" Now this was personal. Caesar still maintained his pride from his older days. Before this, he only chased her to help out Joseph, now he had his own grudge against her.

The old Zeppeli got up before the old Joestar, running in front of him. Though the old Joestar was still very close by.

"By the way, Caesar, I forgot to tell you that you should make sure not to touch any electrical sockets! No matter where they are!" Joseph informed, at an unfitting time. "That's her Stand, you'll get zapped and the magnetism will get you!"

"…!" An exclamation mark appeared over the head of Caesar, who couldn't help but sweatdrop and blanch. "But Joseph, I already did."

"What?! Where?!"

"When I pushed the emergency stop button, there was a socket next to it! I got shocked, but I didn't think anything of it!" the old Zeppeli told, in disbelief at how bad his luck was today. If it wasn't for magnetism, that lady's Stand could've been one of explicit misfortune, he thought.

"That little wench!" Joseph cursed, a truly pissed look on his face. Other Stand users made him feel danger, this one made him feel extreme annoyance. "And Caesar, give me some room! I can't run with you stuck to me like this!"

"You idiot, that's because two magnets stick to each other! Blame her, not me!" Caesar responded, equally pissed off.

The way they were going, the Stand user easily escaped their sight, able to run far faster than both old men combined. And she giggled deviously all the way, making fun of her victims.

"Damn it, she escaped our sight!" the old Zeppeli complained, thoroughly frustrated with the development. "I can't find her!"

"But now that we can't find her anyway, we can at least try to separate." The old Joestar saw things a little more optimistically.

There was a wooden fence on the roadside. "Hey, how about we use that to separate?"

"Good." Caesar accepted. "Let's try to get there by matching our steps."

"Yes."

With slow but synchronized steps, also holding hands, the two old men stepped towards the fence. Only midway did they realize in horror that kids living in the houses of this street were watching them.

"Ah!" they both cringed very hard in embarrassment, their pupils extremely small and teeth clenched tightly together. The last thing they needed was random people seeing them like this. They were close friends, but not this close.

"J- Joseph… I feel very embarrassed…" the old Zeppeli barely managed to utter, shame almost clogging his throat.

"Leave it… to me…" the old Joestar meekly whispered, then raising his volume. "Hey! You kids! What are you looking at? We are just practicing dancing! It's nice to dance in the street, so go away!"

His words seemed to have worked, those two kids and their dog ran away.

"It worked!" Caesar cheered in his misery, both at the onlookers leaving and him reaching the fence. Now they could work on separating.

"Caesar, can you move slightly?"

"Yes…" His head started moving downwards, they were no longer head-to-head. But on the downside, his hand was now placed in an erotic manner on Joseph's chest.

"All right… I'll grab the fence and you move lower down. Then we can separate at my feet." the old Joestar explained, trying to keep calm.

"Yes, yes…"

"Alright, just keep going."

"Uh… Uh…"

Now there was another problem. Caesar's head was now on the level of Joseph's crotch.

"W… What's wrong, Caesar?"

"This… this position… is very, very… embarrassing…" he gulped. "What will we do if someone sees us like this?"

"N- no one is going to see us, just keep going." the old Joestar tried to reassure the old Zeppeli, despite being quite fearful about that possibility as well. And then his fears became reality. "YAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH!"

"Huh?!" Judging by the way Joseph screamed, Caesar knew something was wrong. "Joseph, what's the matter?"

"These anklebiters brought all their friends over here…" the old Joestar said, overcome with a great deal of shame. "Hey, all you kids! Go away! Don't look at us!"

"…"

"I'M TELLING YOU TO GO AWAY, PUNKS!" Joseph was getting real desperate there. "Hurry up and separate already, Caesar!"

"I'm trying to, but it's not so easy!" the old Zeppeli protested, face-deep in his friend's crotch. And when he finally was about to separate, a reverse pull happened, with him now attracted onto the old Joestar's back.

"AAAAAAAHHHH! You gotta be fucking kidding me! I want to die!"

"AAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEH!"

Both tried really hard to re-remove themselves from each other, but the way they did just looked… rough. And dirty, adult dirty.

*Gasp*

This one did not come from either of the two, but from a third party, also another old person.

"…I thought you were a good man. That's why I followed you…"

Especially Joseph recognized this person And he really, really didn't want her of all people to see this. "Oh crap, it's the old woman from before…"

Her pointed index finger together with the weak, fragile arm it was attached to shook like a leaf in the wind. She was really, really angry. "I didn't think you had this kind of interest! You are playing around with a woman's heart, you perverts!"

Joseph couldn't take it anymore, he felt like dying. "CAESAR, PLEASE HURRY! I'M ABOUT TO CRY…!" he cried for help, his hands pressing against the side of his head that bore a tragically painful expression in a comical way.

"You son of a-" The lady then started hitting them both with her umbrella.

"HELP ME! OH MY GOD!"

Though maybe that was for the better. That old lady's interference helped them get apart from each other. Across the fence was a hillside, which they were rolling down, escaping the umbrella granny's hits and curses.

"Yes, we did it!"

"We separated!"

But they weren't done yet, down that hillside was the enemy Stand user. She'd been waiting for the two, still snickering at them. "Heh heh heh…"

"Over there, it's that woman…" The one woman Caesar could never forgive. No other person even had tainted his pride this badly.

"Look at her, smoking leisurely…" the old Joestar lowly spoke in disdain, frowning at her.

"Hey, you!" the old Zeppeli yelled, menacingly pointing at her. "You did a number on us, but that's over! I'm gonna cross these rails and not be a gentleman for once!" He really meant it, his one and only exception.

That caught Joseph off guard. "Rails? What rails?"

"In front of your feet." Caesar bluntly informed, prompting his friend to look. Joseph widened his eyes, shocked that he almost fell for another trap.

"Oh my god!" the old Joestar exclaimed, jumping back on reflex. "Goodness, Caesar. How'd you notice those?"

"Think about it: As time passes, the magnetism becomes stronger. Which means, your own magnetic field becomes stronger. When we were stuck together, we could tell that our heads and feet were positive and negative." the old Zeppeli went on to explain. "Thus, it only makes sense that we should able to detect the magnetic fields of magnetizable objects nearby. I get if you can't detect something as tiny as a paperclip or bottle cap unless it touches you, but it doesn't make sense that by now you shouldn't be able to detect the magnetic field of these railroad tracks. Considering the length and cross-sectional area, those should be easily detectable."

Until the incoming train passed, the two didn't step over the rails. Joseph had to admit Caesar had a point there. From a logical and scientific standpoint, it wouldn't make sense if they carelessly stepped on a voluminous metallic object without detecting them with their magnetic bodies.

(That would be plot-induced stupidity for a gag moment, right? And if someone no 4th wall break here lol were to just replicate that moment, that would be far too lazy and uninteresting, no?)

And when the train safely went by, the two passed over by jumping over the metal rails and landing directly on the other side. Even at their old age, such athletic prowess was nothing to these former Hamon warriors. These ripe old men were not to be underestimated.

On the other side, the magnetism lady, Mariah, was making an unladylike face. She was seething about the fact that they didn't fall into their trap. With facts and logic, her plan had been thwarted. But she was unwilling to accept defeat. "You damn old geezers… You think you outsmarted me just because of a smart little talk?!"

Using [Hermit Purple], the old Joestar lashed out a thorny lasso, wrapping it tightly around her neck from a distance. "Now, young lady… Enough with the 'outsmarting' thing. Your power reminded me of the old times where I had to do some outsmarting to save my life. What you call 'outsmarting' is nothing compared to the meaning back then, stop misusing the word." he first made clear, boasting a tiny bit. "About your punishment… I'll keep a tight grip on your neck until you pass out. You'll be in the hospital for at least a week. Then you'll learn how shitty it feels to have something uncomfortably tight pressing against you."

While he was talking, Joseph noticed that Mariah's breasts had grown. For some reason, they were sticking out like crazy. Out of confusion and curiosity, his eyes bulged out at the sight of this change. "Hm…? HMMMM?"

"Look at you and your dirty minds." she snickered, clutching her breast from below. "Sorry to disappoint you, but my breasts aren't growing. It's your magnetism getting stronger, attracting the weapons I stuffed in my bra."

When her bra couldn't stretch any further, a whole bunch of bolts and nuts became visible, about to fly towards them at high speed.

"Joseph, duck!" Caesar called, warning him about the danger. But it was too late, those bolts and nuts came at them like bullets. At those speeds, they WERE almost like bullets, piercing their skin and causing lots of blood to spray out.

"Aaaaaaagghhhhhhh!" That hurt, it really hurt. The pain was terrible, hurting them all over their bodies, just like those metal pieces pierced them all over their bodies.

"That witch!" the old Joestar cursed, gritting his teeth in pain.

"That's it, I'm gonna use my special technique!" The old Zeppeli truly had enough. He waited for the surprise attack to end, then he'd commence his own.

He turned his head to Joseph, going to explain him one more thing before attacking. "I'm not a Stand user, but I've learned a lot about these Stands since going on this adventure. This woman, she can't get too far away from us, otherwise her Stand ability would get interrupted."

His eyes then adopted a still resolute and angry, but also more optimistic look. "In a way, that's the perfect distance for her to be for my attack to work. Watch and see how easy this'll be."

It was the second time he'd ever used that attack. About 50 years ago, that was the first time. In a completely different era against a completely different type of enemy. Though even now, Caesar still believed this attack would make him victorious. "Bubble Cutter!"

Following a battle stance, a myriad of UFO-shaped bubbles were launched towards Mariah. Those bubbles were had a slightly red glow, as drops of Caesar's blood accidently mixed with the soap water and Hamon solution.

Mariah widened her eyes in disbelief. Her one big weakness, remote attacks where her victims didn't have to get close. And now she was all out of bolts and nuts to pop those bubbles, not that she could do that anyway. "No, this is not- GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

These sharp bubbles completely shredded her, although not literally. Deep cut after deep cut, whatever she did to her two victims was paid back to her. No holding back just because she was a woman, though in a warrior kind of way, that was respectful.

In a worse condition than the old Joestar and Zeppeli, who've sustained damage equal to a few bullet shots, or getting hit by a car at 30 km/h, Mariah was looking forward to two months of hospitalization. She was about to pass out, her magnetism ability was already weakening.

Though not all that had to be said had been said yet. Caesar had some final words for her. "You see, the way you forced me to stick to Joseph, it reminded me of our old times. In our youth, for a special reason, we were forced to stick close to something as well, for days even." the old man recited. "When your Stand ability pressed us together, that was not only disgusting, but painful as well. I almost felt like getting crushed, Joseph presumably too. But the level of hardship we went through was nothing compared to the monstrous difficulty and exerted effort back then with the 'Hell Climb Pillar'. The systems are different, but nevertheless, you were far too weak to take us on. After all, most Stand users are nothing without their Stands."

With that said, Joseph and Caesar left Mariah alone. Somebody would call an ambulance for her eventually. They walked back to the hotel, having left the other crusaders waiting for too long.

"'Disgusting', eh? You really hate me that much, Caesar?" the old Joestar jokingly asked.

"Of course I do." the old Zeppeli replied, smirking half-cheesily.

If a friend could sarcastically tell a friend that he hated him, and said friend could get the context with no offense taken, then that was true friendship. They didn't need to be magnets sticking to each other to be inseparable friends.


This fight… There's A LOT to say about this, and I mean A LOT. For example about the character choices. I could've chosen Kakyoin and Jotaro for this one and taken another approach entirely. But I have this problem that I don't want Caesar to be a passenger character only. Coupled with the fact that given his history with Joseph, the magnetic scene would be more comical than with Joseph and Avdol, I chose him.

About the fight's ending, it was abrupt but there was no point in stretching it out like in canon. I already mentioned that I don't want to copy everything. Plus, I don't want to hate on Araki, but I personally think there were a lot of problems even in the canon version. Like Joseph and Avdol stepping on the tracks instead of noticing their magnetic fields first. Maybe it's just me thinking too deeply about it, but given how intelligent both are, it was OOC for them to not take that into account. Even beside that, why didn't Avdol just have [Magician's Red] shoot a fire spear or fireball at her? Mariah is physically weak as hell, that would've ended her instantly.

Finally, there's something else I need to mention. I don't know what was wrong with this chapter, but ever since writing this particular chapter, my motivation to write this story plummeted. Compared to my other 2 ongoing fanfics, where I still have a lot of passion for both, I'm not feeling it here anymore. Doesn't mean I'll drop this or go on hiatus, but the writing suffers. It sucks, but I can't help it.

Instead of the usual bottom line, here's a special one for the current occasion: Merry Christmas and a happy new year!