...wow, guys lol.
So, a few days back when I posted chapter 14 I got the sense from some of you that you weren't on board with the 'Lauren goes on a date' thing, and I was pretty sure it was because I hadn't done as good of a job as I had intended as far as setting things up. I decided to write chapter 15 the way I did because, although the Rainer/Bo argument was something I was planning to address later, I figured it would lend more clarity to the direction of things and the motivations of the characters.
And then the world went crazy lol
This chapter is fairly overt in explaining why the characters are where they are right now. I'm assuming that some people still won't be behind this, and that's fine, just hope this makes everyone get the angle I'm using in my approach.
As a side note, I woke up this morning to about 18 new reviews that aren't showing when I look on the site - for anyone who posted those, I'm not sure what the deal is but I guess they'll show up eventually. I have read them, at least.
Chapter starts with Bo's POV and then switches to Lauren. Crystal is introduced in this chapter, but her character isn't written to be the same character from the show - the name was used mostly to give you an easy visual reference point.
Enjoy!
Kenzi returned to the apartment around 11:00p on Monday night. The bar had started to clear out after the football game had ended, and Dyson had let her leave to go check on Bo once it was clear that he could close up on his own.
Upon walking in, Kenzi found Bo sitting on the couch watching TV. She looked tired, drained, and Kenzi dropped down beside her.
"I thought you would have gone to bed already," Kenzi commented, arranging the blanket Bo was using to cover both of their legs.
"I tried. Couldn't sleep," Bo commented.
"Feel up for a recap on tonight?" Kenzi asked.
Bo sighed. "Rainer's been calling since we broke up, so I finally just broke down and talked to him. You heard most of that, I'm sure."
"I heard yelling."
"That pretty much covers it."
Kenzi nodded. "I saw Lauren come up earlier."
"Yeah, she's going to start dating," Bo noted, flatly.
"Wait, what?"
Bo nodded, not adding anything.
Kenzi looked at Bo, clearly confused by this information. "I thought you two were, I don't know, starting something."
Bo shrugged. "I'd like to. But I can't do it right now."
"What do you mean?"
Bo sighed. "I like Lauren. I really do. But I'm so exhausted, by Rainer and everything that happened there…I just don't feel like being in the middle of a relationship again. She deserves a girlfriend, you know? And I'm not in a 'girlfriend' place."
"Seems weird that she would come up just to give you an FYI that she was dating."
"It didn't to me, honestly. I mean, we know how we feel about each other. But she just came out of five years with someone, it makes sense that she wants to go on a date and see how she feels. And, hopefully, one day she and I can try to be something more. But for now, I just need her in my life, and I can't do the girlfriend thing yet."
"So you're okay with this? Seeing her with someone else?"
Bo gave a short burst of a laugh. "I mean, I'm not psyched about it, but she needs to do what is right for her. I care about her. If it's supposed to happen, it will. I just know that if I tried to start something with her right now we'd have a lot of problems because my head is in the wrong place. I don't want to put either one of us through that.
Kenzi nodded. "I guess I get that."
Bo was quiet for a beat. "Relationships suck."
Kenzi laughed lightly and snuggled closer to Bo.
Christmas came and went. It was a low key year for Lauren, and she found she liked it that way. Other than a party with work and a few nights out with the gang, she didn't do much. Work didn't let up – apparently people didn't stop getting sick or hurt just because it was a holiday – and all in all, Lauren felt contented.
Vex came home from visiting his parents on January 3. Once he was home and settled, he called Lauren to catch up. After the typical preliminary back and forth and catching up on their holidays, Vex settled into the reason for his call.
"You haven't talked to me any more about going out with Crystal."
"Who is Crystal?"
"The girl I was telling you about the other night at the bar. I think this could be good for you. You've been single now for months. This girl will be good for you."
Lauren sighed. "I don't want to just go out with someone for no reason, Vex."
"Listen, I know you're hung up on Bo, alright? But she told you herself, she isn't an option right now. How many people have you dated since you came out?"
"I've dated before, Vex."
"No, actually, you haven't. You drunkenly hooked up with women until you came to terms with the fact that you were a lesbian, which you did by dating Nadia, and since that ended you've been with no one else. You've basically never dated, darling."
"I was with Nadia for five years. I certainly think that counts."
"Let me ask you something, love – when you met Nadia, how did you feel about her?"
Lauren was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I thought she was beautiful. She was funny. Kind. We got along well."
"Mmm," said Vex. "And now tell me about when you met Bo?"
"Where are you going with this, Vex?"
"I'm not saying that what you feel for Bo isn't real. What I am saying is that you met Nadia, came out, and stayed with her because you felt a spark. Now you've felt a spark with Bo. There's nothing wrong with that, but how do you know this spark with Bo is the one that is going to last? How do you know it's more than what you felt for Nadia? Maybe Bo is different. All I'm saying is, shouldn't you at least try to have a few more experiences to make sure?"
"Look, Vex…what you're saying makes logical sense, okay? It does. But…I mean, how can I go out with someone while I'm hung up on someone else? It seems…wrong."
"It isn't wrong if you approach it the right way."
"What does that mean?"
"I told you I had the perfect girl for your rebound, and I do. I'm going to give you her number. Just promise me you'll call her, alright?"
"What are you talking about, approaching it the right way?"
"I never said you had to lead her on or lie to her, are you going to make me say this? Just be honest with her. Christ, I never thought I would be the one giving this advice."
"That is a weird suggestion coming from you," Lauren commented.
Vex laughed. "Just call her, alright? Have a drink with her. See how you feel. I'm not actually asking you to sleep with her. I know you, Lo, I know that isn't you. But a drink with her, just to see how it goes? That is something I think you need. Maybe meet a couple of girls. No one is telling you to have a relationship with them. Just see how you feel."
"Vex…"
"Get a pen. Just call her. For me. For Vexy."
Lauren felt herself start to smile. "I promise to give her a call. That's all. Okay?"
"Ta."
Four days later, Lauren found herself with her phone in one hand and Crystal's number in the other. She knew Vex had a valid point – she really didn't know if these feelings were Bo were inherently because of her, or because for the first time in years she was looking.
She took a deep breath and dialed.
Ring. Ring.
"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the line caught her almost off guard. What was she supposed to say?
"Hey, um, hi, is this Crystal?"
"Yes."
"Hi, this is Lauren, Vex's friend?"
"Oh, Lauren! Hey, hi."
Lauren felt deeply awkward. "Um, how are you doing?" Smooth, Lewis, smooth.
She heard Crystal laugh. "I'm fine. How are you?"
"I'm well, thanks," Lauren answered.
They were quiet for a second before Crystal spoke again. "Wow, I know I'm out of practice, but this feels awkward."
Lauren laughed lightly. "Yeah, it is. Sorry, I'm not great at this."
"So you just got out of a relationship too, huh?"
Lauren felt herself start to relax. "Is it that obvious?"
"Only because I did too," she answered.
"Oh, yeah? How long for you?"
"Six years. You?"
"Five." Lauren paused. "Are we supposed to be talking about this?"
Crystal laughed. "I haven't been on a date in over six years. I have no idea."
The conversation continued, and Lauren started to understand what Vex had meant when he said this girl was 'perfect' for her. She was kind, sweet, easy to talk to, and also very much raw from her breakup. By the end of the conversation, they had agreed to meet for drinks in a week.
The next week went by quickly and soon Lauren found herself standing in front of her closet, debating what to wear. What did you wear when you wanted to communicate 'I'm just here to see if this thing I feel for another girl is the real thing'?
Lauren hadn't told Bo about meeting Crystal. She hadn't found a good way to bring it up, and anyway, this wasn't really a date so much as a social experiment. She continued to search through her closet before finally settling on a simple and fairly conservative outfit. Once she was ready, she grabbed her keys and headed to the bar where she and Crystal had decided to meet.
Once Lauren and Crystal had both arrived, they ordered drinks and found a place to sit. Lauren's first impression of Crystal was – pretty, seems nice enough.
Not as attractive as Bo.
Alright, so there was that. Lauren tried to focus, to stop comparing Crystal to Bo, but as the evening moved on, she found herself doing it more and more.
Crystal told her a story. Not as funny as Bo.
She talked about her work. Not as smart as Bo.
She went to use the bathroom, and Lauren watched her as she walked there and back. Not as graceful as Bo.
By the time the evening was wrapping up, Crystal leaned back in her seat. "So. How are we doing?"
Lauren smiled. "I don't know. What do you think?"
"I think we're doing okay," Crystal answered, taking another sip of her drink. "But you're not available, are you?"
"What do you mean?"
Crystal smiled. "It's fine, I get it. Your mind is on someone else. Is it your ex?"
Lauren sighed. "No, actually."
Crystal looked interested. "Really?"
"Yeah, there's this woman I met. I don't know, there's just this attraction there that I can't seem to shake."
"So why are you here with me instead of with her?"
"She just got out of something messy. She isn't interested in dating right now. And plus…I don't know, I just feel like I need to know if what I'm feeling for her is something real, or if it's just me being single for the first time in years."
Crystal nodded. "I get that. Figured it out yet?"
Lauren laughed. "No. I don't know. I keep thinking about her. Sorry…I guess that was rude to say…"
Crystal took another sip and waved Lauren off. "Don't apologize. Please. I totally get that, actually."
"You do?"
Crystal shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, since I broke up with Jenn, I don't know, I'm having a hard time figuring out if I'm interested in the people I'm meeting or if I'm just used to being with someone, you know? It's weird. You get so used to being part of a couple that when you aren't any more you feel…off balance."
"Exactly!" Lauren said.
"There's this girl at my office…" Crystal hesitated. "Do you care if I talk about this?"
Lauren laughed. "It's fine. Go on."
"So, there's this girl, and I really enjoy being around her, you know? She's good company. And I didn't really think about that until Jenn and I broke up. I mean, she and I have been friends for a while, and I never thought about it as more than that, but since we broke up, I don't know. I catch myself thinking about her as a girlfriend. But…I mean, is that real? Or is that a reflex because I'm used to being with someone?"
"Dating sucks," Lauren said, grabbing her drink.
"I'll drink to that," Crystal said, clinking her glass with Lauren's.
They continued talking and drinking for a while, but before long Lauren caught herself yawning. They paid their tabs and gathered themselves to leave.
When they got outside, Crystal turned to Lauren. "Okay. Thoughts? Reviews?"
Lauren smiled. "Better than I expected, I think. I don't really know what I expected, I guess, but I had fun."
Crystal smiled. "I did, too. I didn't think I was going to. I don't mean that to sound rude –"
"No, I get it," Lauren answered.
"So, would you want to try this again sometime?"
Lauren thought for a second. "Maybe. It was nice just talking about this." Crystal nodded. "But I don't want to…I mean, I guess I just want to be honest here and tell you that…I mean…" Lauren fumbled, trying to find the right words.
"I'm not expecting anything here," Crystal answered, before Lauren could finish. "To be honest, I don't think I'm at point where I want to seriously contemplate something more than tonight. But it was nice talking to you, and doing this again would get some people off my back –" Lauren laughed. "—so, I'll call you?"
Lauren smiled warmly. Crystal was actually a really nice person. Sure, Lauren hadn't felt a spark, or a jolt, or whatever, but this had been refreshing, having a night that wasn't tinged with anything, talking to someone without an agenda, or thinking about what if or maybe. "I'd like that."
Crystal and Lauren hugged and said their goodnights.
Looking forward to hearing from you all
