Hello, everyone. Thanks for your responses to the last chapter - I really like hearing your theories about what's going to happen next, and your thoughts on everything. Just a quick response to something one reviewer said - the person who said they liked knowing how the American legal system worked - I just want to apologize, because I know Lost Girl was not an American show, and this story is aggressively American. Hope that's not throwing anyone too much.
As for this chapter, before I get a lot of angry responses, let me just say this now - breakups don't last forever.
With that, enjoy!
Bo returned to the hotel in the afternoon and found Lauren sitting on the bed, watching TV.
"Hey," Lauren said when Bo walked in. "What did you find out?"
"Her probation agent has requested a warrant for her for a probation violation," Bo answered. "The judge will probably sign it today. I went by the hospital and talked to her for a while. Whenever she is discharged, it will likely be into custody."
Lauren nodded. "Okay. Then what happens?"
"Basically the prosecutor is going to try to have her held until her violation of probation hearing, which will give her enough time clean to get a Vivitrol shot. She has to consent to it, though – they can't force her to take medication against her will, of course."
"What happens if she doesn't do it?"
"She can get her backup jail time. Basically those are her options – Vivitrol or jail."
Lauren nodded. "How are you feeling?"
Bo thought for a moment. "I'm okay. I'm glad there's a chance she can get clean, if she's willing to try. We'll see if she does."
"Do you think she will?"
"Honestly? I don't know. A big part of me doubts she'll do it. Jail is the easy way out. She's always preferred the easy way."
Lauren was quiet for a moment before she spoke. "Maybe she'll do it this time. If she gets clean, maybe you guys have a chance at repairing your relationship."
"Yeah…" Bo said, slowly, hesitatingly. "I mean…we'll see."
Bo and Lauren checked out the hotel the next morning, preparing to head home. Bo's mother was getting discharged later that day, but the warrant had been signed and she was being discharged into detention, so they prepared to leave town. They stopped by the hospital before they left. Lauren waited in the car while Bo said her goodbyes, and when Bo was finished, they left.
Lauren stole glances at Bo every few minutes as they drove. The further they got from the town, the more like herself Bo started to look. It was fascinating to see – it was as if physical distance was making her better.
They didn't talk much as they drove, opting to listen to the radio instead. Lauren reclined slightly in her seat, letting her eyes fall closed as the gentle motion of the car lulled her.
She wasn't quite asleep when she heard Bo quietly say. "I know you talked to her."
Lauren opened her eyes, slowly, continuing to look out the windshield. She nodded. "When did she tell you?"
"Yesterday, when I went in after talking to Angie."
Lauren nodded again. "I thought she might." Bo was quiet, giving no reply. After a few moments, Lauren spoke again. "Are you mad at me?"
Bo thought for a second. "I was, at first. But I thought about it for a second, and I realized…you went to her and tried to talk her into taking a medication that could save her life. I mean, what is there to be mad about with that, really?"
Lauren nodded.
"Then I thought, well, maybe I'm mad because you told her not to tell me you were there. But even that…I mean, you didn't really do anything wrong. So what right did I have to be angry at you?"
Lauren shrugged. "You can be angry at me if you want to be. You don't really need a reason. It's an emotion. It's something that just exists. Logic doesn't have to be part of it."
Bo nodded. "Yeah, I guess." She was quiet for a few more moments. "I'm not angry at you. But I am angry."
Lauren glanced over at her, and Bo continued to look out the windshield. "What do you mean?"
Bo sighed. "Listen…I think we need to talk about something. It's about what you said yesterday, about me and my mom repairing our relationship."
"Okay?"
Bo took a deep breath. "It's just…I think you need to understand…that isn't going to happen, Lauren."
Lauren was quiet, taking in what Bo was saying. "You don't know that. She could get clean, and if she does –"
Bo cut her off. "Even if she gets clean. Even if she leaves my dad. Even if she calls every day and says every right thing and apologize for each individual thing she ever did wrong – it isn't going to matter. She and I aren't going to have a relationship. That's over."
Lauren didn't know how to respond, so she sat, waiting for Bo to continue.
"At first, when she told me you had been there, I couldn't figure out why you had gone. Yeah, you're a doctor, and sure, you want to see people get healthy, but there was no reason for you to go without me. You could give her medical advice with me there. Or you could have told me you were going to go alone, if that was your intent. Also, you told her not to mention you were there. I couldn't figure out why you did that. It bothered me at first. But I think I figured it out. You wanted to give her some power."
Lauren didn't respond for a moment, then spoke. "She's in a hospital, and when she leaves, she's going to jail. She has no power. If she gets treatment just because she's forced to, there's a higher chance the treatment will be unsuccessful. If she does it of her own volition, though, if she decides she wants to be clean, there is a greater chance she'll stay clean. She's powerless – making her feel like she has an option can help that. And asking her not to tell you I was there – it gives her something extra, so she can feel like she's in control of something. I thought there was a chance that could help."
Bo nodded. "I get that, actually. It's not a bad plan."
"Now she can take ownership of her sobriety – it's not something that's just forced on her. It's something she can claim."
Bo didn't say anything for a minute. "I appreciate what you tried to do. Honestly. I know you were coming from a good place. And when she told me – I was angry. I'm still angry. But I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with her."
"Why, because she told you?"
"Because of how she told me." Bo took a deep breath. "You went there to do something good, to try to help. And she…she tried to make it a weapon."
"What do you mean?"
"When I went in, I started telling her about Vivitrol, and her probation, and she just cut me off and said she knew all about it, that you had been there, and that you had told her not to tell me. Then she started telling me how that showed that my relationship with you was no better than hers with my dad, that you were lying to me, that you were going behind my back – all the classics. She wanted to see me break, like she's broken."
Lauren was stunned, saying nothing.
"This isn't the first time she's done something like this. It's her M.O." Bo took a few more deep breaths, thinking some more. "I think…I have a feeling that you believe she and I can fix things, and that maybe one day we can have some fulfilling mother/daughter relationship. But we can't, Lauren. My caring for her extends far enough that I don't want her to die, and that's about it. Even if she became Mary Poppins, I'm not interested. I'm past that now.
"She didn't just get this way. She's been a junkie my entire life. She was using before I was born. Having a daughter didn't stop her or slow her down. As ugly as it may sound, I wasn't enough reason for her to get clean. She never loved me enough to try."
Lauren started to protest, but Bo put up a hand to stop her.
"I'm not saying this for pity. It's just the truth. She was never interested in protecting me, or trying to fix things. She let my father beat her, beat me, do whatever he wanted. She didn't care, as long as that needle was full, it didn't matter to her. She doesn't love me, Lauren – she never has. Not really, not the way a mother should love her child, anyway. Love – it isn't that." Bo took another deep breath. "I appreciate what you were trying to do. I really do. But…this isn't something that can be fixed. I'm over it now. For her sake, I hope she cleans up. But if she doesn't…that's on her."
Lauren was quiet for a beat. "I'm sorry," she said, simply.
Bo gave her a small smile, glancing at her for the first time. "You don't need to be. You tried to help and I…you're amazing for doing that. But this isn't something that can be fixed. In a weird way you going there and trying to help, it made me realize just how far gone I am from my mother. The fact that she tried to use you and the good that you were trying to do against me…" Bo shook her head. She knows I love you, Bo thought. She knows that destroying us would break me. That's what she wanted – to break me. "There's no coming back for us. We're done. She's on her own now."
"Bo…"
"There's a line, Lauren. Maybe I could have found a way to forgive her for the things she's done to me, or the things she hasn't done for me, but when she tried to use you as a weapon…there's a line. She's crossed it. I'm done now."
Lauren couldn't find anything to say. How do you respond to a conversation like that? She tried to think of something comforting, something that didn't sound trite, but no words came to her. Finally, wordlessly, she reached her hand over to where Bo's was resting on her leg and laced their fingers together, giving her hand a tight squeeze, as they continued to ride home.
By the time Bo pulled up in front of Lauren's house, Lauren was happy to note that Bo looked mostly back to normal. Tired, yes, but overall she looked like herself again.
"Thus ends the suckiest vacation ever," Bo said with a laugh.
Lauren laughed as well. "Want to come in for a bit? I can make us dinner."
Bo smiled at her. "Really? You aren't sick of me yet?"
Lauren leaned over and kissed Bo gently. "Never. Come on, let's go."
Bo shut off the car and they went inside.
Once inside, Lauren walked to the kitchen and looked in the fridge. "Alright, what do you want to eat? I don't know that I have that much."
Bo walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Lauren's shoulder. "We can just order something."
Lauren let herself lean back slightly, pressing against Bo. She turned her head slightly and her eyes caught on Bo's lips. Dear God, we just came out of a four hour car ride. How is she this beautiful? Lauren reached her hand up to Bo's right cheek, turning Bo's face closer to hers, and kissed her.
Lauren pushed the fridge door closed and turned in Bo's arms, wrapping her own arms around Bo's neck. Soon she found herself pressed against the closed refrigerator as Bo's hands rested on her hips, holding her close.
There was something addicting about Bo, something intoxicating. They kissed how many times in the short time they had been together? And still Lauren felt herself sinking every time. She didn't remember feeling this way with Nadia – yes, being with Nadia had been amazing in its own ways, but this…this was different. This was better.
At some point during the kiss, Bo maneuvered them off the refrigerator and toward the bedroom. Lauren was vaguely aware of Bo leading her, but was also dimly aware that it didn't matter where they were going – if Bo was leading her, she would follow. It was a terrifying thought, in a way, but Lauren chose not to dwell on it. For now, it didn't matter.
Once in the bedroom, Bo and Lauren made quick work of their clothes, falling together into Lauren's bed. They gathered the blankets over them and molded themselves back together, enjoying the feeling of lying together. Their kissing intensified, and soon Lauren felt Bo's hand reaching between her legs. When Bo's fingers met the wetness there, Lauren heard Bo whimper and a burst of arousal flared through Lauren at the noise.
Lauren moved herself down to take Bo's left nipple into her mouth and pressed her own hand in Bo, finding her equally aroused. She heard Bo release a strangled, breathy sigh as Lauren pressed a finger against her, dipping slightly inside. Lauren moved her hand to let her finger graze Bo's clit, and heard Bo mutter, "fucking hell, baby." Lauren grinned, quietly happy with the response, and moved herself back up to kiss Bo fully.
Bo squirmed against Lauren, trying to get more contact. "So impatient," Lauren mumbled against Bo's mouth.
Bo reached down and, without warning, plunged two fingers into Lauren. Lauren stopped breathing for a moment, overwhelmed by the sensation, and soon found her hips moving of their own accord against Bo's hand. "Looks like I'm not the only one," Bo whispered, punctuating the statement by tracing the tip of her tongue over the shell of Lauren's ear. Bo removed her hand from Lauren just as abruptly, and Lauren cried out in protest.
Lauren moved herself so she could push her face between Bo's legs, slowly covering Bo with her tongue, dragging her tongue against Bo's clit firmly. Bo's hips bucked slightly, and Lauren could vaguely hear Bo mumble something, though Lauren couldn't make out the words. She assumed it had something to do with how she wanted Lauren positioned, however, because a moment later Bo was grabbing Lauren and pulling her on top of herself, so that Bo could give Lauren the same attention Bo was receiving.
The feeling of Bo's tongue against Lauren sent Lauren into a frenzy. Her tongue began to work faster against Bo, which spurred Bo to work faster against Lauren. As Lauren moved against Bo, she saw Bo wantonly opening her legs wider, urging Lauren to press against her faster and harder. Lauren was dimly aware of her legs mimicking the motion, driving crazy by the desire to feel Bo's tongue against her as much as possible.
She felt Bo's hands on her hips, using them to anchor Lauren to her and to move her slightly as needed to intensify the contact. For her part, Lauren's hands were holding the inside of Bo's thighs gently, her thumbs gently stroking the skin on either side of her, pulling slightly to open Bo further to her mouth.
Lauren had just pushed her tongue firmly against Bo's clit when she felt the sudden sensation of Bo's tongue pushing into her as Bo flicked her clit with her finger. The action sent Lauren hurtling into climax, causing her to cry out against Bo, pushing her harder between Bo's legs. As she tried to control herself, Lauren found herself sucking on Bo's clit, and a second later became aware of Bo shaking beneath her as her own orgasm thundered through her.
A few minutes later, when they had both recovered slightly, Lauren slid herself off of Bo and turned, pulling herself back up so she and Bo could mold themselves back together in one another's arms.
"Holy shit," Bo said, still trying to recover her breath. "Why have we never done that before?"
"I don't know, but we're definitely doing it again," Lauren answered. Lauren gave Bo a quick kiss and dropped her head to the pillow, trying to recover.
"Do we have to go out for dinner?" Bo asked, lazily kissing Lauren's neck.
"We can have something delivered later," Lauren murmured back, running her hands through Bo's hair.
"Good," Bo answered, "because I don't have any interest in leaving your bed."
Lauren pulled Bo in for another kiss. "Me either."
Later that night, Bo and Lauren were lying on Lauren's couch, wrapped in a blanket. They'd gotten up and dressed a few hours earlier, ordering a pizza for dinner. After eating, they'd gone to Lauren's couch with the intention of watching TV, but soon found themselves undressed and ignoring the show.
"You should take off the rest of the week," Lauren said.
Bo was wrapped around Lauren, her face near Lauren's neck. "I have to go back to work sometime," she noted.
"Yeah, but you've had a stressful few days. Take some time off."
"Will you take off with me?" Bo said with a smile.
Lauren laughed. "I have to go back. But you could…stay here, if you wanted. Like a close to home vacation."
"A far less sucky one," Bo said with a smile.
Lauren smiled. "Just humor me for a couple days. Just so I know you're eating and sleeping and relaxing."
"Being with you might be counterproductive for sleep," Bo noted.
Lauren laughed. As she pulled Bo tighter against her, movement outside in the street caught her eye. "That's weird," she said, quietly.
"What?"
"I swear that same Crown Victoria has ridden by here like three times now," Lauren answered.
"Oh, that," Bo said. "I told you I was going to start sending patrols by your house."
Lauren balked and started to respond, but before she could Bo leaned up kissed her, and soon all thought went from her mind.
Yes, the breakup thing in the author's note was just me messing with you. I should probably stop doing that to you all. I doubt I will stop. It's just so easy...
Let me know your thoughts
