A/N: Chapter updated (29/01/2023)


Like the past two mornings, she woke to his amber eyes watching her while she slept. His shrewd gaze made her self-aware, so she tried to subtly check if her clothing was askew again. Apparently, she wasn't subtle enough; his eyes tracked her every movement.

"You're still dressed if that's what you were wondering. Good morning by the way," he said in his usual deep voice, lying on his back relaxed with his hands under his head, just his eyes on her.

Her heart raced at his words, thinking of their banter the previous night. She had gone to sleep imagining waking up to him pulling her clothes off, and the thought wasn't unpleasant. It brought back memories of a distant dream where she had felt how he touched Yen. It had been an unfortunate accident she forgot about, but now he was in her bed, looking at her with piercing golden eyes and it all came cascading back.

She shoved the memory back down and reached out for him without a word. He closed his eyes and relaxed as her hand wandered a little, caressing his chest before settling over his heart. A stupid gesture, done out of impulse, and most inappropriate. She touched him as she would a lover, and it wasn't the first time either. She had done it the previous day when she spotted his medallion. No matter how she blamed it on having her focus on the amulet and forgetting what she was doing, deep down she knew it wasn't the medallion, it was him.

There was something about him that was undeniably appealing.

She shifted her attention back to healing him. At least she was in bed already, so she didn't need to worry about falling. By that point, she knew it was inevitable. Some part of him was resisting despite his outward relaxed appearance and the transfer drained almost all of her energy each time.

Something tense and defensive recoiled. The world went dark for a moment.

When she opened her eyes, he was holding her hand, checking for a pulse. It was pointless to repeat to him that she was fine.

"Mmm... good morning," she hummed with a smile.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked with a wry smile.

"Exceptionally well," she replied, realizing that for the first time in decades, she had a night without nightmares.

She hadn't felt this rested in ages and she didn't want to move. It felt too good to sleep in her bed again, even if she was on the wrong side.

"What would you like for breakfast?" she asked, eventually lifting herself onto her forearms and elbows.

His eyes trailed down the front of her shirt with a hungry look. She crossed her hands under her chin, blocking his view, and repeated the question.

"Whatever you're cooking is fine," he answered, once again meeting her eyes.

"Fine, I'll think of something."

Stretching her arms and legs, she rolled out of bed lazily and looked over her shoulder to see him staring at the ceiling, muttering something to himself, so she left him in bed and walked into the kitchen. After a while, he joined her and sat in his usual spot at the kitchen island.

Neither of them had changed out of the clothes they had slept in, meaning he was wearing only shorts, so her eyes wandered down his chest, shoulders, and arms. He was covered in scars, a true testament to the perilous life he led, but they didn't take away from his good looks. If anything, they made him more masculine and fierce.

She took a breath and willed herself to look elsewhere, but her eyes kept coming back to him. After all, he wasn't involved with Yennefer anymore. And earlier he was staring at her breasts. They were both adults, so would flirting with him be so bad? Would it be unethical? If anything were to happen, it wasn't like she could get rid of him the next morning; they were very much stuck together. He was her patient after all. This wasn't the time to make any rash decisions for the sake of momentary pleasure, so she shook off all the sinful thoughts from her mind and poured her full attention into the food she was making.

She divided the food onto two plates and placed one in front of him, along with some cutlery. He didn't react at all.

With his elbow on the countertop, resting his chin in his palm, he fixated on the pattern of the stone top with an unhappy look across his face, and she wondered what had soured his mood. He wasn't exactly a chatty guy, but now he was downright gloomy.

"What's wrong?" she asked delicately.

"Nothing," he answered curtly. He pulled the plate towards him and ate in silence.

She didn't push, hoping it was only a passing mood or melancholy. The previous day she could have sworn that he was warming up to her. She had even managed to draw some smiles from the man when those seemed to be a foreign expression on his face.

Alas, it seemed that his mood was as fickle as the weather.

When he finished his breakfast and got up without saying anything, she feared there was more to his silence.

Maybe if she gave him space to work through his grim mood, it would soon pass, so she went to change her clothes and get the laptop. She returned to find him on the couch, leaning back with his hands behind his head, once again brooding and staring at the ceiling. With his heightened senses, she doubted he didn't notice her.

"You want to talk about what's bothering you?"

Silence. Not even a glance.

"Alright," she sighed. "I'll stay out of your hair until the next healing session. Here's the laptop in case you want to use it. If you need anything, I'll be at my desk, working on a presentation."

She also handed him a pair of headphones.

"In case you want to listen to anything." He took them without a word and plugged them in.

She might as well have been talking to a wall.

When it was time to heal him again, he was sullen and cold. He was reluctant to have her touch him and the energy transfer required even more effort on her part. She could ignore his cold demeanor, but since it interfered with his healing, she had to say something.

She tried to take his hand, but he pulled away from her.

"I thought you might be homesick, but now I see that I'm the problem. Have I done or said something wrong?" she asked, trying to gently coax out of him the reason for his sudden mood change, but it was as if he had taken a vow of silence.

"I don't mind you not speaking. You're entitled to any feelings you may have. Perhaps some are justified, although I'm truly clueless how I offended you and it certainly wasn't anything on purpose. All I ask is that you put it aside when I heal you. Having you fight me makes my work more difficult."

He gave no sign that he understood or even heard her. Instead, he returned to the laptop without a word.

If she harbored any delusions that they were friends, they had all been dispelled. She couldn't believe that a few hours prior she was considering flirting with him. Maybe she was just a bad judge of character. On the island, when he began to avoid her, she thought it was at Yennefer's request, but maybe it was just him. Still, she held out hope that if she was patient with him, he would mouth his concerns.

She focused on work and put on some music to relax, but her thoughts remained bleak. When it was time to heal again, nothing had changed.

If she didn't despise the idea of infringing on his personal space, she might have considered reading his thoughts to gain insight into his mind. But if she did that, she might break what little trust existed between them.

Perhaps this was some lingering resentment for his lost memory or for how she left them on the island. Maybe she shouldn't have joked about getting in bed with him. Or maybe she shouldn't have laughed about him thinking porn was a documentary. Or maybe it was something else entirely. He didn't seem callous, so he must have a good reason for doing this.

She cursed his stubbornness and continued pouring all her energy into him.

This went on healing after healing until evening. Until she was exhausted from fighting him. She plunged into darkness, her own soul leaving in search of the ethereal energy it needed, only a thin strand tying it to her body.


Maybe he was imagining it. The way she touched him that morning. Teasing him with a peek down her shirt. He could be reading more into it. But what if she was screwing with his mind? There had to be a way to know. His medallion would be helpful if it worked. He stared at the stone counter and searched for an answer.

Her healing. That's when she told him to relax and let her in. What if he didn't? Maybe he could try to keep her out of his mind and see if anything changed. Perhaps his desire for her would fade, just as it did for Yen.

Of course, she noticed, proving that what he was doing was having an effect. There was yet no change, but perhaps it took time to wean off the effects of her mind-altering magic. He avoided looking at her and perhaps that's why he failed to notice that she was out for longer each time until she didn't wake at all.

Half an hour had passed and she was still out cold on the couch.

He paced the room.

Could she be faking it? He listened to the dull drum of her heart; it was almost as slow as his. Her breathing matched. No, this wasn't a ruse, she was truly unconscious and in a deep sleep.

He resumed his pacing, counting the strides to keep his mind busy. Another hour passed and outside the sun had set.

What if she never woke? The thought filled him with dread and the implications cascaded through his mind.

He sat on the carpet, next to the couch, his eyes on her. He might have inadvertently killed her and hadn't accomplished anything in the process. If he survives this, Ciri is going to kill him. She brought him here to get help and he went ahead and killed the healer.

Another half hour passed when she finally moved and the first thing she did upon seeing him was smile.

"Are you insane? Why are you smiling? You should be angry! I thought I killed you!"

"Did you mean to kill me?" she asked, faintly amused.

He looked at her, speechless. This woman and her calm were beyond belief.

"What would my anger solve? If I had been angry would you have listened to me?" she asked, her soft eyes meeting his. "I presume not." She sighed. "Now will you tell me why you did this?"

He couldn't bring himself to answer, so she sighed again.

"Whether you help me or not, I'll keep my promise and return you to Ciri in good health."

"Why? Why the hell would you do any of that? Do you have a death wish or something?" His anger bubbled up at her obfuscating behavior.

"What does it matter? I made a promise to Ciri and I intend to keep it, even if you want to make things difficult. In the end, it makes no difference to me if you like or hate me as long as you remain alive. That's the only thing I'm responsible for. Besides, I'm still convinced you're a good man... Ignoring your earlier demeanor, of course." She paused and rolled onto her side, facing him. "Now let me rest for a bit and I'll be fine." She barely got the words out when she fell asleep, leaving him stupefied once more.

He sat watching her a while longer, thinking over his options. Continuing to do this to her wasn't an option. He'd end up harming her and he wouldn't be any closer to knowing if she was tampering with his mind. Perhaps a more honest approach was what he needed and if he felt her tendrils seep into his mind, he'd have his answer.


A few hours later, she woke in bed, with her head resting on his chest. She sat up so quickly that she got a head rush.

"Hey, easy there," he said, steadying her. "I carried you to bed and you rolled onto my side. Didn't want to risk waking you."

He paused, looking uncomfortable.

"Can you read my mind?" he asked.

Was this what everything was about?

"I can, but I've never done it since you arrived. You hated it when Yen and I did it."

"It wasn't a question. I was asking you to do it... If you're well enough, of course."

Her brows furrowed. "Alright," she said with slight hesitation. "Now?" He nodded, so she did as he asked. A smile bloomed on his lips, then died just as fast, turning into the guiltiest looks.

"I saw Ciri as a child, in a forest next to a dead monster," she said. "What was this about?"

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, unable to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry I hurt you today. It's not what I meant to do... I just couldn't be sure if your odd magic wasn't messing with my mind."

"And this convinced you I wasn't?" He nodded. "How?"

"I needed to know if I could feel your magic even if my medallion doesn't. This doesn't excuse what I did, but it wouldn't be the first time sorceresses have used magic to manipulate me into doing whatever they wanted."

His words made her heart sink.

"That kind of magic is forbidden. I'd never deprive anyone of their free will." She tried to keep her voice from choking. "Give me your medallion... please."

He removed it from his neck without another word and placed it in her palm. Finally, he had extended a modicum of trust to her.

She closed her fist around it and whispered the words to the spell. Light spheres danced around her hand and entered his medallion as she opened her palm. A little token to assure him of her honesty. A small start, but a start nonetheless.

"Now it'll react to all types of magic, not just chaos." She handed it back to him. "I get that you don't know me and you're basing your assumptions on others you've met. Maybe asking you to give me a chance is too much, but I really wish you would. Even if you don't, I'm bound by my promise to help you and I won't let you die just to prove that stubbornness is counterproductive. I'll give you as much space as possible under these conditions, but for right now you'll still have to suffer my presence until you're recovered enough to have more independence."

Her eyes landed on the view outside. It was already night time and so much had been left undone. The next day she had five back-to-back two-hour-long seminars, so they won't even have time to have a proper lunch. What if his mood shifted again? Then she might have to take an extended hiatus from work.

"Are you unwell?" he asked. "You look... lost." The low rumble of his voice was strangely soothing.

"I'm just thinking about tomorrow. My schedule is tight and I have to think of a way to heal you without anyone noticing me fainting." She turned to him with a faint smile. "But don't worry, I'll think of something."

"Maybe I should call you Miss Dontworry. You keep saying that a lot and it only makes me worry more."

"You shouldn't," she said while setting the alarm on her phone and placing it on her nightstand. "Can you turn away so I can change?" she asked him.

He rolled over to his side, his back to her.

"Tomorrow morning, we'll go to the gym as promised. I've already set the alarm for 6 am. We'll need to get back by eight, shower and leave," she said, changing into her nightclothes. "Work is going to be busy, so we might not have more than ten minutes for lunch."

"That's not a problem. There've been plenty of tough times on the road, I'm used to missing meals."

She hummed and rounded the bed to his side. "I should heal you once more before bed."

She reached out for him, but he caught her wrist before she could touch him.

"I promise I'm not messing with your mind," she said with a sigh.

"No, it's not that. After last time, maybe you should get some rest."

"I'm fine. If you don't fight me so much, it won't be as bad as last time. Please let me help you." His grip loosened and she touched his chest. "Relax, please."

This time, her energy flowed through him unimpeded. His medallion vibrated lightly at first, then stronger, as time passed and the amount of energy increased. She lost consciousness for only a few seconds.

"Thank you... for not giving up," he said, looking relieved that she was well.

"You're welcome." She got up, intending to go curl up in the armchair.

"What are you doing?" He took her hand before she could get to the chair.

"Giving you space. The couch is too far away, so I'll sleep there for now."

"Please don't do that. I already feel bad enough about today. If I see you wake up one more time with a stiff back and neck, I'll feel even worse."

"I don't want to infringe on your personal space. Maybe sleeping in the same bed was a catalyst that precipitated today's... issues."

"It wasn't. It was just my bad history coloring everything darker than it needs to be. You did nothing wrong and I was an asshole today. And I'm sorry for it." He sighed. "Please sleep in the bed. I don't want to see you wringing your neck in that chair again." He tugged lightly on her hand. "I'm sorry. Truly."

"Alright," she caved. "I just hope you won't be in another foul mood tomorrow. It'll be a tough day without adding anything on top of it."

"Don't worry, I'll behave," he joked and got up to pull the drapes together just as she did each night.

He turned off the light and got into bed. Although it was dark, she felt his eyes were on her, so she turned her back to him. There was no point in him seeing her sorrow. She didn't want to guilt him into cooperation, but the thought of giving up her work deeply saddened her. But if push came to shove, it was just a job and it wasn't more important than someone's life.