You could feel very proud of yourself at the moment, Past Kane of yesterday is probably the smartest version of yourself and never again you will doubt the insight of your past self as he made sure of piecing Pandora before something else made you put one of the most important choices of both their lives being put aside because some bullshit needed to do be done, AGAIN! Seriously! You didn't even have a chance to have the false hope of thinking about being in the same world as Tonelico because this contract was with another devil or Archdemon, at some point your species evolved differently and turned into different variants but the point was the same as sir Demiurge was too similar to your nature to not be capable of seeing a peer.
That came with issues.
Kane Gremory was an egoist and very stubborn bastard that followed his desire without caring about the opinions of his lessers and was completely crazy in the perspective of others even if you like to think that you are a patient man, but the dealing with another devil of your category in terms of strength of personality was truly a very difficult thing.
"No, nope, nein, I must argue against this course of action." You had been in this camp for 5 days and it was grating you. "I can't feed these humans the meat of others humans." This was the biggest issue and you wouldn't rest until it is fixed.
It was criminal!
[So wasteful!]
(Good good continue, I believe in you) This was what you needed, the support of a cute girl.
"I find it difficult to believe that you seek to inform me of this matter for such inane reasons like pity." Demiurge at least knew you and understood that you hadn't any issues or problems with wet work. "What makes you think that is an issue?"
"It's making our job harder, humans at their basics are vegetarian mammals." You managed to keep your annoyance in check, this was an appropriate issue. "They can't digest meat correctly without being prepared and the diet of similar tier creatures is causing damage similar to starvation but worse because the body thinks that is getting nutrients."
There are nutrients that they can't break and absorb into the system, this is one of the reasons why many predators don't hunt other predators of the same tier and avoid cannibalism for consumption, their bodies can't truly benefit and in the long run, would weaken and kill them.
(Forge everything that I have said) Have faith in me, conscience of mine, Kane Gremory will make him see the light.
"I see, so you believe that it is turning into a necessity to change our approach." Thank you Talos, you liked that Demiurge accepted at the third attempt.
[You only need to appeal to the pragmatism of evil]
"It was proven generations ago, I have a few biology books of the humanoids in my manor." It took your Pillar multiple generations to reach this point, and in between this and the first generation was a lot of human experimentation made by your ancestors and their contractors "My line has done multiple rituals involving humans, a lot of it is focused in keep them alive as Curses lose their meaning if the victim doesn't last long enough."
That made your contractor pause, if you were in charge of a breeding camp and were completely under the watch of an old Satan member then you would have to ignore the overseer and go higher in the chain of command to get something done here.
But Demiurge was smart like the first gen, he just lacked knowledge and important information to implement better and more effective ideas while keeping the essential parts of being a demonic being like the presentation, one needs to make the other side believe that it's for their own good or it benefits them more.
"Your expertise may prove a good point, what if this ends up becoming a waste of resources and product?" Demiurge means using different spells to make them breed.
"The best solution is altering the diets, many of the solutions that I could implement aren't going to last after my return to Underworld." You replied with a reminder that you can't make use of your skills in a permanent manner. "I have a test subject planned for proof of concept, then manipulate and twist them in a different way for the test." Man, it took searching for the correct human for it.
But Peter was a special type of moron that was easy to put on your side, with just three days of work and he already trusted you completely and believes that you are trying to make things better by exchanging the food of your camp with your reserve since you came here, so now you needed to turn him into interracial play and make him addict to goblin pussy.
You are going to give him a non-human harem and preach about the different types of pussy that he could taste and later find the kinkiest human woman for the same stuff as her male counterpart.
That was your plan.
(I need bleacher, alcohol, or poison… all is the same now) You too, it wasn't a pretty thing to watch to help him improve his technique.
"Your report is very extensive and detailed." Yup, you are efficient, now give some additional resources. "But this language is understood even if I don't recognize the letters used."
You did it by cheating but needs better wording.
"Demonic text it makes itself be understood, at the cost of the drain of mana or soul this one is altered to work on using the ambient as the victim." One of the most useful curses and you made sure to inform your contractor of any side effects. "The paper is going to overtake too much energy and burn itself soon."
"A pity." Mused the Archdemon, his glasses twitched after reaching a part. "You had been feeding a human." He pointed out.
"I can't use the resources of Nazarick without your approval." You reminded him, there aren't issues of using your own resources, especially when intimidation and torture aren't really going to work here; they need also a carrot to match the stick. "My own resources were used in this project so we can finish earlier."
Convincing Demiurge of stopping the use of human meat in the camp would allow you to get more loyalty and motivate the humans to do what their species does better than any other thing which is breeding with who they shouldn't be capable of and producing offspring.
You can't depend on the use of eromancy, drugs, and aphrodisiacs to make it work.
"Very forward of you." Demiurge mused as he kept reading. "Did you realize that by ignoring my orders you could be considering a rupture in the contract?"
"You are my contractor, but this isn't going to work." You didn't show fear, lesser devils wouldn't think of using a loophole. "There are multiple problems with the implementation of the plan, in your wording, I need to do my best for the sake of Nazarick, not your plans." But you are more interested in finishing this fast.
Demiurge's smile turned a bit more amused.
"You have impressed me." He was enjoying himself, truly working with a smart workforce was a pleasure for any leader. "Not many try to manipulate in such a manner and twist the perception of the cattle."
"I am pretty young, but I am not a fool." You were after all the heir of a pillar. "A good deal involves the mutual benefit of the parties, but I think that I will end up deserving a raise in my payment."
Demiurge just laughed and sent you back to your job as an unpaid intern that somehow reached middle management. You didn't earn this place by wasting time but implemented solutions and keeping a continuous 23 hours of work shift every single day.
For this contract evil and harm of other races were their own rewards for your contractor, and you were acting as it was needed for your task, a thing that you had to remind your now more active conscience as you aren't going to be here all the time so even if you liberated the slaves or cattle they would die in the wilds and it was possible to be recaptured once you are out.
[You also liked your temporal boss to screw him over like that.]
Was it wrong? You weren't sure of the morals even when your conscience was telling you that this was wrong. A middle point was required, so you focused on improving the overall situation through pragmatism and making both your imagination less likely to be angry with you and Demiurge happy that his projects finished.
It took another week before you could show the results, Demiurge was doing demonic things and you were fully in charge as a test.
Enough time to turn this around, finish everything and make a record with Elttil for some Educational Videos of how it works, a camera, DVD player, and Tv that worked on mana are included for ease.
You needed multiple showers to stop feeling dirty for the things that you had to watch. Weaklings reproducing was horrible to watch even for a very cultured man like yourself it still made you try to erase your own memories but somehow it went back to your brain immediately after!
(If I have to suffer I will take you with me to hell!) Betrayed by your own conscience!
…Peter managed to impregnate two ogres, three goblins, and a lizardwoman. You were amazing in this, truly convincing the women to give it a try and share the same man was… easier than you thought, just a bit of understanding what they wanted and teaching Peter a few tricks was enough to make it work.
Where did he end up getting the stamina? You were going to teach him how to manage his time but it wasn't necessary.
[Peter Grill gained the jobs: Gigolo, Monster Tamer, Eromancer, Breeder, and Manwhore.]
Demiurge was very happy about it; one could say that he ended up inviting you to meet his master and inform him about the results of this employment.
[You are going to be rewarded with even more work.]
There will not be more human meat in the camp?
[There isn't a need]
Good, you may have been tricking and manipulating Peter but at least you hold your side of every deal made. The humans wouldn't trust you anymore if this failed… even if Peter told his friends about the advantages of the monsters compared to human women with a few following his steps to becoming monster fuckers too.
(It worked, somehow sex saved human's lives) It always works.
The spells of Demiurge were different from those you used but you can't say that isn't very effective as [Greater Teleport] works very well in reaching the necessary places. You may ask him some of these useful spells later, even if you specialized in curses Miyu wouldn't forgive you if you didn't get a few tomes.
That was a tomb… truly unexpected and absolutely cliché.
You could at least relax a little, your patience was becoming thinner by the day since the orcs were brought to the camp… the smell was making your mouth water and true form begin to manifest, there was something primal was getting hungry and affecting your mindset.
[Your meal was there, return to the camp]
They were too damn tasty and your Intuition was tempting you with dishes to try and practice.
(So this is why there aren't hentai orcs) Your conscience whispered to herself… What was hentai?
You think that you remember that was something related to the hyper-violent porn/anime but don't remember how... it probably was something of the Japanese culture that Souji said in the past.
[Pay attention big boss incoming to talk]
"You haven't paid attention to the architecture." Demiurge knew your lack of attention.
"Is nice, but I got more interested in the traps." This place was worse than a Mayan's crypt, any invasive force truly was fucked if… wait there wasn't an 'if' they are just fucking dead by the second.
The question is only 'how' will happen.
"Did you have to put a curse on the handlers?" You were curious about that trap, in particular, it was a smell-changing one. "I think that is pretty unnecessary when combined with the teleport matrix."
"I don't ask about the desires of the Supreme Beings." Demiurge smiles but you knew the answer by his body language as he paused in his steps.
"So was a marking, sir Demiurge's curiosity for the unknown is just the inquisitive nature of the youth." You commented as you passed him in the corridor. "As my senior, you should just ask me and I wouldn't peer beyond what is on the surface."
It was a game of wits for him, so you were making a few faux pas and mistakenly corrected by your senior before a turnaround. A simple conversation followed as Demiurge gave a basic rundown of how he expects you to act and what to expect, halting in front of the door before a piece of final advice.
"Behind here is the Throne room, where lord Ainz is awaiting us." He said, looking at you like a man who was about to introduce his favorite minion to his dad. "Lord Ainz is a magnanimous ruler as befits the greatest of the 41 supreme beings, but that is no guarantee of anything. So remember to show the proper respect in the meeting." He was genuinely excited about this meeting.
[You had been there too.]
The massive doors opened after the slightest touch from Demiurge and the insides of the room were glorious, it was absolutely massive as hundreds of people or creatures could fill the space and it would still have room to maneuver without issue.
The materials used and detailed furniture would truly hurt your grandmother's wallet.
Is this what poor people feel when they see Pillar's manors?
Any way that you could describe would end in a disservice, but in the end, you just ended up putting attention on the 41 banners of the room. They were filled with sadness and nostalgia, truly lonely at the top when everyone that helped to reach there is long gone.
The throne was nice, but it truly was better if you didn't pay too much attention to overpowered items of power you had Ardenti Vespera and Elttil, there wasn't need to be jealous.
The staff was basically cheating.
And finally the owner of all this.
…A pity that age took those big boobies, but you focused a bit more and saw the soul. A Japanese man, details were blurred but you knew that the soul came from that land. It sadly makes sense that this happened, necromancers do change containers, and you can hardly judge the way of becoming stronger of others beings when you consumed the heart of an overgrown vegetal and the souls of Fae.
"Demiurge, I assume this is the demon you spoke about in your report?" The ¡Lord' of Nazarick asked, looking for confirmation.
"Yes Lord Ainz, this is indeed the devil I contracted here. He goes by the name Kane Gremory." Demiurge replied, the difference to his lord clear in his voice.
And then you feel naked for a second, partially blocked by your natural resistance before you purify that resistance to allow the magic of the Lich to do its work, let's not say that you don't have survival instincts better allow the overpowered mages do what they want if it can pierce a little of your resistance then he could overpower you easily.
"You did something." And they realized it, you weren't fast enough.
Many watchers narrowed their eyes, truly can't be just a single moment of tranquility? One of the bodyguards hidden around was already taking their weapons and aiming for your vitals. The smell of vampires and succubus was getting closer too and were spying on this meeting.
"I put down my resistance towards magical effects, the scan would have left incomplete otherwise." You answered without hiding the fact, eventually it would be known as it was possible to overcome your resistance. "As your lordship could understand, the difference of strength is clear and so it isn't necessary to hide my status."
An acceptable response, revealing also some of your abilities but not the true extent.
"So then, Kane Gremory, tell me who you are." Finally spoke The Lord of the Crypt, just admit that you are nervous dude.
You aren't going to judge him… too much.
"I am Kane Gremory, Boss of the Cealum Ardor Famiglia, heir to the Gremory pillar and at the moment an intern and overworked devil." You joked you could see the Japanese soul of the lich snorted in response. "I could continue with other titles but those are what describe me the better." Once again you omitted important info.
Never mentioned World Breaker Hunter, that was one of your favorites but would cause misunderstandings.
Eventually, a sense of how things would progress was made. Ainz kept asking questions and you kept responding, your understanding grew and with that you got a realization that really made it hard to keep your face straight and polite when some of the floor guardians came to see what keep their leader so occupied and he fucking stuttered!
It was clear at that moment.
Ainz was a moron with too much power and was keeping a bunch of lunatics from destroying the world while simultaneously herding cats in the form of the most unattractive succubus and a vampire that should learn that flat is Justice.
"So what is it you hope to gain here, Kane Gremory?" He asked, it was bothering him, and waited until everyone was present so he could say it.
"Potions, recipes, information, magic…" You mentioned possible rewards that could be earned. "My contract with Demiurge didn't stipulate my reward being something specific only that it would be something that was equal to my given work."
You moved from your place, hands on your back walking around the floor like you were making clear your point.
"Given the chance, some clients would say that the entertainment is good enough." You surely aren't to accept that bullshit, and so will not Demiurge. "But he will not do that, after all he knows that I haven't shown all my cards in our game."
You looked at the elite guard, peerage, or otherwise generals of the Necromancer as they were eating your words and smirked as a true devil would.
"He overpaid or underpaid me, I won but if he guessed correctly what satisfied my greed he would win." This was your chosen method of payment, after all, Demiurge and you get along too well to treat this as a game. "Devils, demons, or whatever you want to call us are being of Sin, but also truths, lies, and pure trickery as we use this contract as our little competition."
"So is it a game for the both of you now?" The shy elf that reminded you of Penthesilea's brother asked.
"Indeed it has been entertaining figuring out ways to balance his payment." Demiurge enjoyed himself.
"Not going to make it easy to you Sir Demiurge, my work has been causing notable waves..." Your eyes widened, and your tail came out in surprise when the rest of the important members of Nazarick appeared.
[Bow Chicka Wow Wow!]
"Kane?" Ah, your tail was out and moving.
"Sir Demiurge." You naturally had to admit your loss.
"Yes?" He sounded confused but you didn't care.
"I admit my loss." You truly have been completely defeated by this chance. "I want a chance to court one of the maids of the castle." That was your reward and you will be done after.
(WHY!?) You are weak, just too weak to resist your base impulses.
…
…
…
Secret POV
Silence.
A cocky, arrogant, and completely unrepentant desire.
A being that dared to ask such a thing directly in the face of the Lord of Nazarick.
"Isn't acceptable?" The devil genuinely looked disappointed.
"Why do you desire that?" The interest of the Supreme One made her lower her arm.
"I am the greediest devil to have existed, how I wouldn't try to lay claim to one of the greatest treasures that I have seen?" Kane Gremory shamelessly admitted. "Sadly, isn't me claiming a maid, but an evening of their time for a chance of their eternity."
At least he has a good taste and an understanding of his position as an inferior being.
"I-I see." Lord Ainz in his infinite wisdom and mercy allowed the demon to keep his life. "Are you sure of this reward? I will not force them to do anything."
"If there isn't interest afterward then so be it, Greed isn't only taking but keeping and valuing the treasure." The devil was sure of his answer. "Going against my nature isn't respectable for a devil of my category, after all a devil needs to be ambitious even in matters of love."
A fool, truly controlled by his own impulses and desires.
"If I may interrupt." Demiurge in a bout of insanity began to talk in favor of the devil. "I believe that it could end relatively well in this course of action."
"Is that so Demiurge?" Lord Ains gave his attention to
"He has proved himself by completing the goals of the camp beyond expectations, his insights and brilliant mind have priority in his success beyond his strength." Demiurge appealed on non-existent good points. "More importantly he is going to be stronger than most of the Pleiades soon."
What?
"Sir Demiurge, I'm quite young compared to a senior demon." The Devil looked at his fellow, his smile being exactly the same as Demiurge's. "Give me a century and I will surpass you."
This s-sort of insult would make anyone take the head of this…! This…! She doesn't have words for this sort of insanity.
But instead, the smirk of Demiurge grew.
"I would like you to try." A challenge was laid and both devils chuckled.
What sort of relation both had to make Demiurge act in such a manner…?
"Also Lord Ainz, I prepared something for my successor to train them for my duties once the contract expires." Resourcefulness at the very least was a plus for this mosquito. "I would like to show you in private how it works."
Even from that distance the smell of blood was clear in his hair.
"Is the mimic that you are carrying around?" As expected of Ainz-sama. "Where did you acquire such a thing? In all my years I have never encountered one like it."
"I see, so you noticed it already in such a short time. As expected of my lord."
The expression of the eyes of the devil changed for an instant, from orange to sheer reddish orange that turned into amber. A fast change of tone could mean many things as the change stabilized back into his normal tone.
"Sorry but even if you ask me, I can't give you my familiar." The devil immediately denied it as the lizard shook its head fast. "Elttil wouldn't accept it and would rather erase itself of existence before abandoning me too."
The mimic smirked at them! The little piece of shit was taunting her in particular!
"Our connection is particularly deeper than most bonds, you may call it symbiosis. He became like that through a bond with me." You will live for now lizard, your owner saved you. "He evolved and changed beyond his species through my… let's call it my particular mana. In a way, I'm his creator."
Those words stopped her… she can't refute the mimic for his acts.
"But you made a mistake, my Mimic specializes in the creation and manufacture of items be it magical, technological, or mundane in his body." A crafter? They can specialize like that. "So I need to know how big and the placement of the plasma tv."
The long look of Lord Ainz.
"A Plasma tv? Demiurge, I will take your contract with this devil for the moment, I will need to discuss the details of this tribute to fit the goals of Nazarick." Does he know what it is? As expected of the Supreme One there isn't anything beyond his knowledge. "I expect your best behavior tonight with the one that you choose."
…Did Lord Ainz agree to the reward!?
"I would admit that I got a bit interested in the woman that catches your eye." Demiurge's looked at the devil with curiosity.
"The best girl, truly nobody else, compares in the following the ideals of being a maid." The filthy devil showed his greed. "Is very obvious my choice."
That bastard was aiming for her!
"...That is a very poor description." Lord Ainz words of appreciation truly were underserved.
"Is that so? Well I didn't know her by name but…now I do." The devil murmured to himself for an instant. "So when will the one named Entoma Vasilissa Zeta have a free evening? I think we have a lot in common."
What?
Walking around the… home of Demiurge, you can't help but really think about the intricacies of your reward and how you wouldn't be capable of taking that maid. A mistake on your part as the Necromancer was as possessive as you were of his own famiglia and wouldn't accept someone eliminating one of them or taking them away.
[You wouldn't join Nazarick too greedy and prideful to be under someone else]
That was true, this was just a temporary job and that was why you didn't have issues following orders and… lost your payment because of the cuteness that a predatory insectoid had, damn your heart and imagination that put Nezuko in that perfect mix of yukata and maid outfit.
You absolutely adored Nezuko so much and having someone that shared her hobbies was tempting you, she even was a perfect maid! A member of the top dominant species at that, how could a devil that always follows his wants and desires not ask for it? She was just perfect for your tastes in women.
But you fucked up, truly it was a big mistake on your part to say your wants and desires like that instead of just putting yourself in the same sort of job and task as the cute maids, it would give you more chances to spend time together before making your interest clear, sadly most of them weren't of your taste for reasons that took you a bit of watching to understand from body language and smell.
[And the dangerous one]
You knew that if you got a bit younger the automata would keep you as a pet, completely carrying you around and manhandling you like a pocket dildo if you were successful.
[That right belongs to Shelia]
(Why are you so horny?)Good question, you liked to think that you were a good husband for a very physical species like succubi and you really fell in love with a pair that needed a lot of intimacy.
Not going back to the issue, that orangenette was one of the good ones. There was another who you genuinely would get along with but was a nun and a very boring one that was better not mentioning without sounding insulting.
The others ranged from looking you down or being a complete bitch, like the one that Elttil trolled in your orders. You were a very petty man, and don't regret how easy they were to trick but well if they don't see your worth when you are weak then let them be, you will not stop your training for how others view you.
In fact, you took it as proof of mastery, the level of your own father has been reached.
Your curses had managed to reach the point of not feeling easily by the senses of other supernatural species, now you just needed to visit your manor's library to learn how to weave them into others to be considered a true master of the craft of your family, it took really a long time but now your clothes, body, flesh, bones and even soul was packing them so well that at this point and now you just needed to impart these effects to others.
You stopped walking and frowned, this is the third time that the route has changed. You didn't want to use the hidden passages but you rather not make Demiurge wait and be his cup of coffee when you worked hard on making him addicted to the best drink in existence.
[Necromancer testing you, Demiurge watching and trap lewd elf doing his stuff]
So that is it, testing the limits of your intuition.
Elttil made a paper and you began to write when you noticed the changes and misdirections. using your flames as letters and glued it to the wall beside the passage with Elttil's spit.
[The game is on]
You used all the secret passages and only those to go through the floors and when those began to be changed you had to find the new patterns, predict the changes, and under the watcher's eyes make a fool of yourself by timing a few changes 'wrongly' so you could get to the kitchens, you knew that too much success was rewarded with more work and you wanted something to eat.
(You have a lot in common with Neptune)You could multitask pretty well, you even found something interesting. (Tell me.) Of course.
It was becoming clear to you that there were doors or 'cracks' in Nazarick, loose pieces in the world that haven't been filled completely and they were everywhere. In the connections between the floors, in the floor themselves, the rooms, and even some of their equipment… The unnatural cracks were in every place that you could see with enough attention to the details and clued you about the fact that Nazarick and their inhabitants weren't native to this world but forcefully added to it with a sheer brute force method without completely cutting their point of origin.
(So they are like you) Yes and no, there are differences and you think that it is possible to enter their world.
But only for you, it was a mess to travel through what is beyond those cracks thanks to Harmonization and Intuition to make sure that you survive the travel and don't get loss in the process, the Dimensional Gap wasn't a joke.
[It will be a Human world, a dying world with max fifty to seventy years of lifespan]
And the Necromancer world?
[Fused into this one, data incomplete or faulty turned into closest equivalent]
And the rabbit's hole got bigger and deeper, at least you reached the kitchens and just needed to prepare for the next thing to come.
[You got temporal vacations, unknown when there will be action]
[Correction suicidal idiots want to die by Nazarick soon]
Is it too late to return to the ranch? In the ranch riding undead monster Kane was happy~
[...]
…Yeah, that particular joke was terrible. Where is the necromancer? He wouldn't leave you alone with these 'tests', you may need to just talk directly to him and give him the gift and just end this joke.
You stopped going for the kitchens and just visited the sister of the trap elf to tell her about this issue aka ended up lying your ass off and giving her a burger in your inventory to guide you around to the office of the lich to just install the stuff.
…
There was an uncomfortable silence around that became worse when Demiurge needed to check… stuff and you were left alone with the bone daddy/MILF themself. You wouldn't lie and say that his attempts at making this situation less tense weren't amusing but you were a spiteful man that interrupted the moments that they had gathered confidence by a few coughs and Elttil making some unnecessary sounds of construction.
"Well, I have to say that I didn't expect this job to be so weird." You began to say as you were sure that the two were alone. "How much time has been since you have watched Tv and used a remote?"
Your question probably made him panic, there was a bit of magical change around but it cracked moments later.
"Well considering the tech level around, is probably as long as you came into this world, and if you want to know how I discover it is because the world itself tells it." You continued talking and faking building the tv with Elttil. "I think that it was related to the cluster of worlds around"
You have to admit, playing around as the all-knowing devil was fun. The reactions under that straight face are hilarious.
"Cluster of worlds?" [Is screaming inside his mind.]
"Worlds that are more connected with each other like being in the same dimensional bag." Like the human world that you were used to and many others, domains like Underworld and Heaven. "There are multiple worlds and parallel ones but not all are closely connected to this one, but the connected ones are a cluster."
"Is there a way to move from one world to another?" [Excitement, wants to meet friends]
"If you travel through the dimensional gap, but it is difficult, there isn't a clear form of creating an entry or exit so there is the danger of being consumed in the process." It was a very nasty way of dying and didn't depend on something abstract as power for theoretical survival. "The only reason that Sir Demiurge managed to summon me is that he got one of my contracts that a mischief-filled subordinate of mine threw in an opening."
Nezuko really is lucky that she wasn't hurt by doing that.
"There isn't really a way to travel through?" Well, that confirms that they are as possessive as you with friends.
"Well, there are many cracks around your home when it was brute forced its way to this world." In theory, you could but it would push the boundaries of your capabilities. "It could allow me to go there and get some of your things but what I get from there is that it is a shit hole that is going to become a dead rock in fifty years."
The Overpowered Lich began to put a thinking face and you had a very bad feeling.
(Stop them of doing something stupid!) What? Oh shit! They would that, you would do that in his place!
"But only because I can't really get lost, the only reason why I didn't reach the kitchens is because of your testing." You interrupted them, you almost sent monster scouts through the multiverse. "To make it clear I wasn't going to waste an afternoon and miss my date with that incredibly good-looking maid."
"I see, but I must warn you about Entoma's appearance isn't what you think it is." The lich talked like a true virgin beta male.
You raised an eyebrow, did they really believe that you didn't see through the bug used as a mask? Ms. Entoma was attractive in multiple aspects from her very close to an insect chimera and creative human predator mindset. You really liked her sense of aesthetics but weren't an idiot that only cares about outward looks when you had multiple eyes and a dangerous maw too… it was a plus in your opinion.
At the very least you wanted one of your offspring to inherit the multiple set of eyes.
(Wait what?)You were basically an unholy mixture of dragon slayer knight and meteor, so you couldn't say anything about looks. (Ah.)
[Is possible to be a complete hypocrite about other things but not be a very scary abomination against nature]
"Lord Ainz, I am a devil." You had to remind him about this. "My tail is a good clue that my true appearance isn't anything close to what you are looking at right now and your maid."
If you were honest with yourself this necromancer really needed friends and relaxation, they were almost painfully paranoid about everything so you had to show him how to make a pair of geass contracts, one that he can test and another to use with the terms that you couldn't ever say anything… in this world.
Yeah, you played the necromancer like a fiddle and put a very specific wording to make many ways to go around it without problems.
Afterward, it was just a problem of balancing the neurosis of the skeleton with multiple trust issues but then you didn't really expect that the lich had a fucking mountain of issues! Hell, they had so many things in their chest that it was a miracle that there wasn't a stress-related mental problem, and began to just pull a Lucifer.
And Lucifers in general have a habit of ruining everything.
The lack of hormones may have helped in keeping them stable.
"And I sometimes wish that someone else would end up coming with me to the New World." And with that said the lich dropped in his chair.
Utterly spend, relaxed at finally freeing themselves of the massive load on their back. They finally after so long managed to say the truth and were finally completely spent of all the things that they had saved up for a very long time while playing the big bad evil overlord that everyone made the figurehead.
(I… can't help but feel sympathy) Really?!What else could I say at this moment that would be supportive?
"Deal." You still were a pragmatist at heart.
"Huh?" 1. 2. 3. 4… they are a bit slow… "Whhhaaaaaaa!?" And there is it.
"I will do that, just give me some time after my date to prepare and I will try to find some of your friends." Double contract baby! Double the power! "Kane Gremory is on the job and my 100% success rate isn't going to lower."
"Why?" And they are still too mentally spent to say more words.
"Because I know how it feels losing someone that you held dear." You doubt that you can kill the incarnation of their depression, so plan B is it. "So I will tell you my tale if you tell me yours so I can search for your friends." You offered with a smile.
In the end, Ainz… Momonga began to talk of their guild, their friends, the people that became their family in that world where they were free to act as they wanted and enjoy as much as possible.
And you talked about Tonelico and the group of morons that were so dear to you. Your reason to do contracts, the desire to meet them again, and… you expended the later part of it gushing at how utterly attractive she was, the things that you liked about her, and everything about her in a way that you were making clear that she was the best girl.
[This always works]
You kinda needed to have an excuse to get away and prepare for your date instead of continuing this spontaneous therapy session, it wasn't your problem to deal with some overpowered necromancer abandonment issues, and planned to bring people that will do that for you.
Now… What should you do for your date?
Ugh, human meat.
You knew this stuff too well after cooking it many times to feed Nezuko, but you can't say that you consumed humans or other devils like your Rook. Couldn't the chefs of Nazarick bring a better type of meat? Humans kinda sucked as a meal from Bahamut's perspective not that you knew much about the giant fish of your brother.
Was it racism? Do they think that you head humans because you are a devil?
Your date was eying you, judging you while slowly consuming her dish, raw pieces of human like you. It was uncultured and didn't even try to decorate as you do with octopus finger sausages.
"I'm not going to eat humans." You told Entoma as you pushed the set of intestines to her side of the table.
Thou you admit that it was a very good cut for your side of the table, the pieces were clean and without a single drop of excrement or impurities that affect the taste so it was something that you had to appreciate the chef. Their skill was impressive and care was massive for this date, there wasn't doubt that they had worked a lot for this.
"..."[Too friendly with humans?] Your Intuition translated your date's attention when saw you inspecting the 'food'.
You have to admit, she eats very fast and there wasn't a single drop of blood dirtying her dress, her manners were impeccable and you wished that Nezuko could learn a little.
"None of that, I have preferences in the type of food that will enter my mouth." You denied it immediately, everyone was equal in your eyes and you didn't favor humans over others. "If I had to choose, my preference is preying on the zoidbergs, but as a cook, I can't help but be impressed by the cooks of Nazarick." You really weren't judging her for liking eating humans.
You weren't better than anyone in that aspect, most of the zoidbergs are kinda sentient creatures and the only difference with humans was scales and different power escalation.
"Why the focus on humans? There are multiple species that are tastier so what makes it special?" You had to ask, in general, Nezuko liked everything and especially new stuff.
"..."[Why I won't? They are delicious] That was a good explanation, if she enjoys herself you approved.
"Well then I'm glad, my belief is always to do what makes someone happy and satisfied." You smiled and even nodded at her in approval. "Would you like to taste a few fingers of devils?" You always keep some in your blazer breast pocket.
They kinda are going to get decomposed and you can't use Purification to keep them… Huh, she already snatched them?
Her nimbleness and appetite are really impressive you barely blinked before she was by the third finger.
"..."[You aren't scared. Why?] She moved her head to a side feigning confusion.
Ah, intimidation is so cute.
"I know a devil that eats more devil's fingers than human ones as they are more strong in general." You weren't a common devil to be scared so easily. "A good part of my time is used in putting many species in line so don't worry I'm used to cutting them open and cooking a few things."
"..." This time she was truly silent thinking about your words.
"My adorable and dear date, there is a lesson that I got through my years as a boss." A lesson that you learned many times and whispered with a smile. "There isn't a single species that is truly special."
And it was true, there wasn't a master race and everyone had the potential to be disappointing as hell and back or rise to the point of impressing the rest by desiring and aiming higher than others.
"Individuals can have their place and even their own kingdom but can you genuinely say that every one of your race can compare to you." You smiled with all your teeth, and she nodded as it made sense to her.
"..."[Is how I was made, my creator wouldn't make me less] She looked adorably proud of it... but...
Your smile turned a little sad at that, you could feel and understand what was left unsaid.
"So, I will expand a little on why I don't eat humans." You had to drop a big bomb on this maid, hopefully, she agrees with your lack of interest over the lunch. "Devils before my generation mated with them."
[It was hard to see humans as fuck when thanks to them you managed to meet Fi-chan.]
(What about dragons) Silly conscience mine, zoidbergs aren't people Alwyn agrees with it and loves when there is some for dinner.
That piece of information made her drop a finger and stare at you in shock.
"Humans… they are adaptable, extremely so but lacking in many qualities in exchange." They had their flaws but you had the luck of meeting so many amazing treasures in humans that left you fascinated. "Believe me I am not a pro-human type, their biggest advantage is their numbers so by sheer quantity the rate that they make an aberrant talent is higher than other races by how fast they could reproduce."
And by Lilith, they had some of the best girls ever made. You didn't even know how you managed to keep it in your pants while on Talos' turf and surrounded, it was just a miracle that your willpower lasted so much while surrounded by four pillars of womanhood in buxom, lean, petite, and breedable.
(...Yup …willpower …nothing else) Why are you incapable of looking at my body?
"Is their adaptation that was a focus for the demons, they pretty much can and will adapt to survive to things that they shouldn't be capable of in general." You continued, ignoring the question in the back of your head. "And finally, that quality made them the easiest species to mate and create progeny."
You had also proved that it was true here too, fucking Peter has been expanding his harem.
"And in the most ironic manner that is the biggest weakness of my species." Devils weren't perfect, it was easy to see that without Acchan the species would end up extinguishing, and the population wasn't stable even after five hundred years.
Satan and Lilith, the origin and solution of all devil's issues… and Lucifer was there to ruin the nice things brought.
"..."[Weakness?] Not many would admit that and you could understand that curiosity of hers.
"As species, we could mate with anything, in particular interesting beings like you the demons rarely lacked options to take as a companion." You revealed the reason why you insisted on courting her. "But it isn't easy, we were made for the sake of power and in exchange, a stable population turned difficult to manage as centuries required for a pair of devils to create a progeny."
"Or with other creatures with Pillars like me being worse than the average." "But humans? By mating with one of them, it's just too easy to reproduce and create offspring."
"..." [A weak one.] Harsh but absolutely correct.
"You are right about that." You agreed with her, it was the payment for taking the short path. "The blood turns to be diluted in comparison to others, the rare cambion could become exceptional but with a lot of work to reach what would take a Pureblood just wait long enough for it."
Your child was truly a miracle, and you can't look down on those that made cambions anymore. How many other devils had felt the same happiness as you? How many others were tired of waiting for that miracle but never came?
"..."[You wouldn't ever manage to touch any of the Pleiades] You are feeling that she is trying to be nice here.
You still laughed when she turned you down.
"Heh, I know that we wouldn't be like that as I can't be here for decades to truly earn your love and attention." You would if given a chance but it wasn't possible. "In the end, I just wanted to enjoy a brief moment with a cute girl, I wouldn't be here a few centuries for the sake of reproduction when I also have duties like you do."
And no girl no matter how attractive she was would turn you into a butler… well, maybe So-chan… but only on special occasions and roleplays!
"I know better than to try to take you with me when you also have your own life here."
"THen WhY?" Talking now? You must have made a good impression.
You took a sip of wine.
"Because otherwise, I wouldn't be talking with you at this moment." You answered you were enjoying her presence a lot even if she wasn't your Rook. "You were worth it, never undervalue yourself as a cute girl like you is my absolute type of woman."
The mask that she used dropped, the multiple sets of eyes stare at you and your calm smile turned a bit more sincere.
"I don't find it unappealing, your creator really made an excellent work on making a magnificent heir." It was the truth, no matter how 'hideous' was the true form of this maid.
There was so much care, thought, interest, and effort in making her, the magnum opus of a man playing to be a God and creating someone that he was fully satisfied with.
"Nobody truly disappears until they are forgotten, the friends that they made, the feats that they did, the lives that they made, and their ideals." You told her as you served yourself a cup of wine from your inventory. "All those things continue, so remember them well."
"Because there isn't a father that wouldn't love their child."
Genjiro truly would have spoiled the hell out of her, Momonga and your Intuition confirmed it, there was too much emotion and care in Nazarick's habitants that you couldn't help but ask question after question for the sake of knowing a little bit more.
"wHy YoU talk like that?" So raw and struggling, her voice made your heart warm and happy.
[A beautiful memory, a meeting that was many years ago eating in a buffet.
A Girl finding her place in a cold world.
A Sky finding a Lightning that would always be his]
You just smiled at the memory.
"Because we are similar." Not only in true appearance but feelings of that void "Is only that I need a method of expression that I keep this appearance."
"PrOvE It." You couldn't expect anything less.
You let your helmet snap back in place, your true form 'blindness' affects you but the eyes grow and form matching the exact number that is watching you. The presence of fire and the weight of death came outside your body as you breathed the very essence of Nazarick alongside your flames.
"Multiple eyes, razor fangs, and lethality in our breath." Your burning breath came with the effects of corruption and decay alongside your orange flames. "Truly similar to my own traits and consider us to be rather compatible."
Her attention was on you and you could see how she was moving your existence from one slot to another. She ended up preferring that this date continued like this, relaxed in true appearances, getting to know about her more, and even admitting the amusement at being believed weak by her peers because of the curses.
Hearing about her father and convincing her to call him that was truly fantastic to see that myriad of emotions. At some point, after you got an understanding of her capabilities and 'tools', there was an idea that formed inside your mind so very stupid
(Don't you dare) Your conscience knew it was a bad idea but… (No buts! This is too lew-!)
"So as a show of thanks for having accepted my request, would you allow me to give you back your voice?" You both enjoyed this date so you wanted to give her something extra for the good time.
"WhAT Is neeDeed?" Ah, you feel your heart melted now that she trusted you.
"Certain devil clans have their own personal trait that is passed down to the next generation." You explained as fire came out of your mouth transparent and free from corruption. "My flames are used in a conceptual manner, but the range is a bit short and your defenses a bit more."
You liked to think that showing part of your skull made you friendlier from her perspective.
"So… I would have to get my tail inside your throat."
(AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!)
…
…
…
Momonga.
He feels a bit… embarrassed that he had lost control in that form, but it couldn't have been helped. The devil showed him how charismatic a genuine leader was and had too many good arguments to just get the things out and said, God bless the geass contracts as he could finally confess everything and not be judged in any manner without fear of anything said to be spread.
It really took a massive weight off and allowed him to relax like a potato with the excuse of researching the culture of another world.
With a control remote in his hand and if is necessary could use this plasma television as a mirror to oversee anything of Nazarick.
He enjoyed his new Tv (and new massage chair), this was a luxury that was impossible to get to the common workers and much less him in the past, the mimic was happy enough to give a copy of the collection of shows that the devil had saved inside him… it didn't need subtitles because devils had a racial ability to talk all tongues simultaneously.
Peroroncino would love to meet Magical Levi-tan, it was something that made clear the type of society that the devil came from if this documentary series was put in 'culture' part of save files alongside many species of the underworld.
Ah~ Truly this was bliss, but the 'bip' in tv shows that someone is getting closer and so he turned off the tv and stopped watching his new favorite series.
"You can enter." He called over before the door was touched, and was appreciating the power of technology.
He really needed one of those mimics like Elttil, they were useful but sadly it was bonded to Kane. Maybe he could procure one of the eggs? Even if it didn't end as the same species could be interesting to see how they develop while he trains the little thing like a real-life pokemon!
"So you have expected me, truly you always are a step beyond me Lord Ainz." Ah, you forgot about Demiurge entering. "So this is the plasma tv? It looks like a black mirror."
"It has been a very useful gift, look with a single button we can observe the 'meeting' of your protegee and Entoma." A part of him admits that was morbidly curious of the type of disaster that ended this date.
He tried to warn Kane, he really did, and hoped that they hadn't begun to try to kill each other, both because he didn't know who would end up winning with how bizarre the devil was with his class distribution and Entoma's true form was a bit scary to others… The poor devil really wasted a reward that Demiurge would give, but he could give a bonus later.
So with a deep breath, the Overlord pressed the bottom of the remote and turned on the tv.
…What the fucking hell is he watching!?
"Oh my, it seems that they are getting along better than expected." Demiurge was pleased but Ainz could only state in horror at the scene that they were watching.
"Ugh! Ugh!" She was choking and saliva was… oh my dear god she was enjoying it!
"Just a little more I'm almost finished." Grunted the devil as his… oh God it wasn't a tail! It wasn't a fucking tail! Transparent flame-like liquid was coming out of Entoma's mouth!
…One of the Pleiades was deepthroating the devil and he was watching with Demiurge!
You had been very pleased by how the date ended, Entoma enjoyed herself a lot and even was giggling while practicing with different voices.
(The things that I have seen, the things that I heard…) Your conscience had been staring at the space since yesterday, why she was acting like that when there wasn't nothing sexual? You had more control over your flames using your tail and it was harder than other limbs in case she tried to bite it off.
It was the safer option to do her a kindness.
[Was very kinky]
Demiurge also invited you to a few shots of the Nazarick special to celebrate the union, but you weren't sure of that, it was a fun date but she wasn't searching for a serious relationship and that was the only way that you worked.
She was quite sly with her traps and a few moments visiting her on the floors where she makes her traps are a truly enjoyable play as both enjoy the thrill of hunting and being hunted.
Alas, you knew that your time to enjoy yourself was over and you needed to complete this contract. So you walked to the office of Momonga, looked at them in the eye sockets, and said the words that will get you fired.
"Let's cut the crap, I don't have anything against you or will use this against you, so this is for your own good." You interrupted because this was important to say. "You aren't going to find your friends here and absolutely nothing that you can do will change it."
This wasn't because you wanted to avoid a shovel talk.
[Sure, this isn't related to discovering that he watched the very deep inspection]
"Explain it." Serious mode skelly overlord/lady, you can work with this.
"I spend too much time finding out about Entoma's creator to end up discovering that he is in a dystopian hellhole called 'Japan' just like the rest." You genuinely can call that place Japan! It was basically forgotten by Magical Girls! "Please tell me who had the brilliant idea of naming cities/states as Eakinawa, Pepsikyo, McChibaKing Town… Satan, it hurts to say those names aloud."
But was necessary, the mommy/daddy Skeletor just slumped to their bed losing self-control to scream in frustration.
[Is also thinking that un-nerfed Clairvoyance classes are broken as fuck]
"So if you could stop the plans of world domination before I have to work here for multiple years." You really needed to return home so it was two trips. "Hell, I can give it a try and find your friends there."
"What do you need?" Good Momonga is all for the rescue operation.
"I would need names, descriptions if you could, an item that they used a lot, and free time so I could track." You need to get used to the smell of the soul, a bit of habit, and then how they tick in general.
[You committed the worst error of your life]
It was a horrible experience, the sheer cringe of secondhand embarrassment that many powerful items carry when you read the data obtained from Structural Analysis and your Intuition… before you returned them to Momonga and then used Elttil to take all the skin of your arms before using Purification create a new layer if only to stop feeling dirty.
You just can't unsee what you saw now, it was something that made you bleed from your nose, eyes, and ears. You can't use anything that you have touched to get the smell and traces of lifeforce for the tracking.
It just burns inside your brain in ways that tequila will not fix.
(I have seen horrible things but if you never talk about it I will do the same) Your conscience declared, and you couldn't help but nod.
You ignored everything else, entered the throne room, moved the throne, unleashed your aura, and then punched a crack to be absorbed inside the multicolor dimensional breach.
At this point you were too stunned to do subtle, so fuck them if you cause a mess!
You never saw a fairy vomit, but it is an experience that you shared with your conscience after the short trip through the Dimensional Gap. There were parts of your soul that even felt wet from the psychedelic trip, by Satan was this what humans see when they drink acid?
[Hippies would wish that they saw what you did]
What the fucking hell is wrong with them!?
Apparently, a lot because when you saw the state of the place that gave birth to the Pope of Skeletons, you really didn't want to repeat as the information began to truly reach you without the filter of being on the other side of the crack.
This was worse than Miyu's world…
The world just surrendered and was a cancer-ridden body by the acts caused by humans, no other species was involved in this. It was caused by the greed of the humans, you were just frozen in streets filled with corpses, this… was resonating with your sin, this was a world that was twisted by the sin of greed going out of control and losing direction letting it run rampant until nothing was left to take.
(...) Your conscience was voiceless as she stared in horror, you knew that this was worse for her.
You tried to connect and send your flames in the form of a hug, even if she wasn't real, you couldn't really stop this act… she was real enough to you and needed comfort. There were many things that you could say but instead, you choose to be greedy once again and ask something from her.
Help me to never turn like this.
That was the only thing that you could ask, never once you would regret your path but if you can… you would like to avoid a turn like this, you could trust her in this.
(I will) She nodded, looking forward again. Truly she was a good woman.
The search began after the shock ended, the mission turned out to be a rescue operation as Ainz really didn't take the time to explain to you how horrible this world was. Your nose hurt so much and your lungs suffered even with your near immunity and survival, the 'smell' of the particular individuals was still clear so you persevered and continued with gathering the friends of a necromancer to turn into Godlike existences.
In many cases it brought you to find corpses that didn't even have a place in a cemetery or coffin, hell the disposal was so badly done that it hurt your high-class criminal sensitivities, it turned out that you could use purification to put them in a more pristine condition as was required.
Better than bringing worm-filled rotten pieces of meat that barely looked humanoid.
The recruiting/rescue part was far easier, almost everyone shouted at you to just 'Shut up and take the money' when a few magic words were said like 'This an apple', 'How it feels nontoxic air?', 'Here is a healthy body and can be better' and your personal favorite 'I can kill your shitty boss if you choose to abandon humanity for a different species'.
Almost every time was simple, fast, and productive as you could feel the mental counter of contracts going up so fast in a single day that you doubled already the number of this year.
You didn't even plan for this, it was pro-bono!
But then came those that needed emotional manipulation and twisted a few arms because they were damn stubborn! Seriously you were doing a freaking favor, if it wasn't for your immune system is so strong the 32 new bacteria strains in the air just this afternoon would have killed you and they still wanted to live and die in this shit world because their shit was there.
You used their damn families against them and to accept the Isekai, a new term that dick bird taught you and made explanations so damn faster.
…It doesn't help that somehow, in some way this serious contract of yours turned different because a few 'normies' families reacted badly at seeing their 'Insert positive term of closeness here' body turn into ash and you destroy the isekai machines.
That technology wasn't allowed to exist, it was too dangerous for its capabilities to invade and modify another reality.
Satan, it weighs in your mind how utterly insane was this bullshit of Neptune's people turning into basically a new Pantheon.
(You still have another side quest to complete) Your conscience forced you to acknowledge that particular part of this contract.
Turn into the nanny of a semi-decently numbered group of humans, as you completed the contract of Demiurge and were sent to Underworld with the company of many humans. Once again it was something illegal to do and you had a nice chat with the police while a few humans took photos of you while doing it.
"This is just a witness protection, nobody here is going to turn into a devil, and is just temporary while my contractors are putting their new home in a more adequate shape." You explained for the sixth time today.
You were turned into a Tour Guide in your territory while the post-apocalypse human survivors of a cesspit of a world basically treated this as a paid vacation to the Bahamas but better as you paid for everything and weren't filled with mutated and dying half-lizard fishes from their perspective.
[The horror, the sheer horror]
"Can I take this one with me? Please Mr. Devil, I will love him, call him Ao and play with him." The little girl took one of the doggos and didn't stop bringing it everywhere, even making you buy a ticket for it.
You looked at her mother, she shrugged and you ended up teaching the little girl how to turn it into her familiar. Better like this and make sure that it doesn't reproduce like the one that you bought and made a stable population around your manor.
(You will be a great dad.) That smile made your heart skip a beat every time.
But you reminded yourself that you had to be a good host when there will be a moment when the humans are going to be brought to Nazarick by their basically godlike non-human famiglia and you are going to be there as they tell tales of what happened in the Underworld, so yeah you wanted to have a buffer if any of those idiots turned into a viper.
…
…
…
Momonga.
What he should do?
"Demiurge, he really looks up to you and I enjoy working with him." The words of Kane reminded him of why the devil was honest. Demiurge was truly the MVP of this mess, so he has to wait and think about what he should do.
Was the devil sincere? Could it really work? How much would it take? Will he see one of his friends or all of them? What would they think?
"Lord Ainz! Something happened! That bat…!" There were times that he had seen Albido furious but this time she was extremely murderous. "This time he just didn't insult Nazarick but his crimes!"
"Stop." Being firm is what needs to be done. "Explain to me."
"The devil, he destroyed the Round Table Room!"
Oh, right Kane did tell him that it was going to happen when he opened the 'crack'… He also looked incredibly traumatized after seeing a few things that his guild left him, this was probably his first taste of internet forums and… what the hell Peroroncino and Bukubukuchagama had saved inside the items.
"Yes, I recall a conversation with Kane Gremory." It was rather... something. "The details escaped my attention but he was acting under my orders." It… was very complicated when asking for the details.
"My lord, what would be the reason for it?" Albedo was still murderous but willing to hear him, good he still got it.
"It will be a surprise, after all, do you really doubt a demon that swore fealty to Demiurge?" In Yggdrasil the hierarchy of the demons was solid.
"B-But."
"No buts, I have made an important deal with him." He has to be firm here, revival was costly and would annoy Demiurge. "You think that someone would dare to break or trick me?"
"I-I… You are right Lord Ainz, but what…" Her words were interrupted when an earthquake came and shook the entire Nazarick.
A sort of thing that normally was considered an enemy action was paired with a single message.
[Peroroncino is now online.]
Laugher came out of his mouth even before he realized, happiness that not even the passive of his Undead species could truly suppress all this mirth, his happiness and even so many different emotions just exploded as he laughed so hard that he would shed tears out of this result!
Just half an hour and Kane did it!
"Albedo, contact every single floor Guardian… no, contact every member of Nazarick from now onwards the name Ainz Ooal Gown will stop being mine." He ordered Albedo, it wasn't necessary anymore!
"What!? But lord Ainz." It looked like she was physically struck by his words but didn't matter.
"Today we will celebrate the return of another member of Ainz Ooal Gown returning home!" You shouted in glee, you weren't alone anymore and now with Peroroncino around… Huh, there are more messages?
[Ulbert Alain Odle is now online.]
[Amanomahitotsu is now online.]
…
[Bukubukuchagama is now online.]
What the freaking hell!? Ten!? TWENTY? THIRTY-TWO!? HOW DID KANE WORK SO FAST!?
[Genjiro is now online.]
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuccccck! He isn't prepared to tell Genjiro about Entoma.
[Tabula Smaragdina is now online]
He is the one fucked now!
You were hating humans so much right now, this level of cockblock was worse than when you were a murderhobo with Tonelico and the rest of the party. Hell, you hadn't laid with Shelia in three whole days! How they could be so utterly helpless to need your absolute attention and monitoring all the 24 hours of the day!
So many questions that grated you, so many issues with the race that they should select, the sheer amount of summonings for so many tiny issues.
Satan, this was stressful. How many damn allergies do you have to burn away so they can enjoy a damn sandwich!? Because of fucking course tomatoes and many other vegetables don't exist anymore! A pizza is basically a holy grail and you had to buy all the different types and see how many were ruined by adding other ingredients.
And they didn't even finish them! You wasted 200 Lilims in that meal.
Many of your mothers said welcome to your first taste of parenthood, but they were wrong as parenthood was enjoyable. Dealing with the children of others and their pseudo-adult-children hybrids that they had for parents!
Why did you cause this to yourself? You hadn't pounded Pandora because she wanted to avoid humans so much that she somehow was teleporting around!
Why couldn't you just talk with the necromancer lady? Who knows maybe you had something that could fix the lack of skin or not, Ereshkigal was still a precious and adorable goddess.
But no, you had to be very deep with a maid. You had to enjoy yourself on that date and then do some questionable things.
(That is what you got for abusing the trust of an innocent girl for lewding) Your conscience chided you but she was wrong, that wasn't your intention!
You hadn't even enjoyed that! Your tail didn't have that particular set of nerves for pleasure or pain and lost a few pieces in the process of integrating that leech as a natural biological part.
"Mr. Devil! I made a drawing of daddy and you." A little girl came and gave you a piece of paper.
It was a picture of an insect knight sitting… using you as a chair.
The girl looked proud of herself, a cheeky little shit in the making so you gave her an headpat and put it in your inventory to give it to her father later.
Shirone was looking at you pouting, it was her fault that this girl turned like this.
[Her Mesugaki dao is developing really well]
And to make it worse your Intuition hasn't recovered from the research and keeps getting weirder and weirder stuff out.
But there was someone with your ancestors that was at your side because finally after multiple days of suffering being a nanny, you once again feel the call of a summoning and because mercy existed, it was the summoning contract of Demiurge.
"Finally, there is a demonic god!" You shouted and began to reunite all the dead weight, NEETs, additional mouths to feed, and human children that will be converted to other races and out of your life!
You made sure that everyone was prepared, got minions to take their souvenirs… your poor wallet, and finally, you returned to the tomb of Nazarick with a smile on your face.
So the first thing that you did when you saw the formerly ruined and now repaired reunion room, filled with godly titans that could crush you and consume your entrails like a zoidberg if you pissed off one of them and probably use your corpse as an eternal unpaid workforce…
Was wave at Entoma.
"Pfff, I love this guy." You are also one of my favorites dick bird, thanks for the porn.
[A true man of culture]
"Now that we have confirmed that there hasn't been any tampering." Momonga began to talk, interrupting any sort of action of others. "Floor Guardians, Pleiades, Sebas, and everyone else retire. We have to discuss the reward for actions beyond expectations."
"Demiurge, well done I'm proud of you." Goatman told your boss.
You couldn't describe the different emotions that came from a surprised demon like Demiurge. Two glistening streams made their way down his face, but he didn't care. He didn't have the presence of mind to wipe them away.
It was worth it.
It really was worth it, just see this scene.
"M-m-my lord! I-I truly cannot express how much it pleases me to hear your kind words!" While your contractor knew it was disgraceful, he had to force out a thank you with all the effort he could muster.
You didn't know how many times this has been repeated but you couldn't help but smile and nod to the Archdemon when your eyes met and he did the same. There wasn't anything wrong with being happy with one's own parents and family.
It took some time but every single one of the servants of Ainz Ool-Something left and just you, the humans, and the overpowered set of morons that you gave access to ungodly power to dominate a world that wasn't prepared for them.
"You're not my responsibility anymore, go mess with their heads!" You commanded the children but for the first time, they weren't causing misery and despair.
Just calmly moving around with the biggest source of headaches acting like completely normal and innocent kids.
"Hi, dad!" The little monster had the gall to act innocent and cute, showing the dress that your familiar made for her.
"Hi, sweety!" The Insectoid Paladin looked at his tiny little girl without knowing the sort of monster that it truly was.
[You are just jealous that yours hasn't been born yet]
"This is Mr. Dog! Mr. Devil allowed me to take him from his home and taught me how to train him in some tricks." Her doggo was probably going to become a pest.
"I can't wait to see them, did you choose your species?" He was just too happy-!
You looked at the scene, some repeating almost line by line with other members of the guild but somehow they are so calm and acting like well-raised and mannered children that wouldn't destroy the sanity of others.
"How?" This wasn't possible.
"They missed them, so it was nice that you had taken time to distract them and play." The wife of 'Touch'-san told you, the little hellions were sad and made you miserable for it?
You gave the different drawings that the children made to the adults.
"If this is their love, I pity their future spouses." You deadpanned and made more than a few laughs.
A few of the Absolute Ones or how the hell they called themselves decided to escort the civilians to their species-changing and leave you alone with those that have some interest in politics.
"I just have to say that I fucking hate you all and should have pissed off Momonga so I could have been killed before accepting being a nanny." Those were your most honest feelings.
A few ended up laughing and nobody took it bad. Did they think that you were joking?
"Ah, sorry about that." Generic monster number 23 apologized. "Did they cause problems in the 'Underworld'?"
You summoned a list, one where you put all the things that they did.
"This is the list of things of grievances." One list that you made multiple copies and was passed to everyone in the Guild.
(You are very petty) Damn right.
"Why are some of the NPC here?" The slime girl asked with a very seductive voice.
[So many posibilities]
"Because I'm a petty devil that will get them grounded for calling me lesser." Don't fuck her Kane, you know that you can't do that no matter how pent-up you are.
No matter how tempting it can be there is a time and place, you remember that your horny basically made you lose a good deal and you can't try to fuck a client while in the job… maybe later but not now.
Your words made a few of them laugh a lot, good keep your head in the game Kane.
"Well, that is possible but I am curious about the rest of the Guild considering how basically you bribed even those that did want." Momonga said while a few others just commented what they got.
"Sadly there existed complications while retrieving them." You admitted with a wince.
"How so?" Tentacle McTendril asked.
"A grave case of death and throw to the seas." A few of them winced at it, they remembered how the other world was and believed that it was possible. "I did get the corpses and fixed their state the best that I could if you can do something about it."
You put the coffins out of your inventory and showed them.
"Huh, the time of death is returning to zero?" The dove… no remember Kane, isn't a true fallen you can't treat them like the waste of flesh and failure in everything that exists.
"I put a lot of effort into getting all the pieces and taking the damage off." Yeah, you made clear that the corpses weren't complete when you got them.
Thankfully there were ways around it, they still were registered under the guild and blah blah blah mumbo jumbo was possible to revive at a high level because of some technicalities of soul=experience.
You think that it was some hax bullshit that shouldn't exist because it was some unfair advantage… if you weren't benefiting from it.
And now the rewards.
"And now the rewards, I have to say this contract will reward you generously." And then you knew that you had fucked up completely.
You had learned multiple things since you had pieced Neptune, and about her people, through osmosis so you had to remember that it was your idea giving near infinite power to multiple 'Neptunians' or gamers who had ideas and creativity.
"Underberry punch!" You were rewarded with a drink.
You began to shit flames after, the godlike army of gamers didn't know how to rewarded you correctly so they experimented because they didn't understand your biology, this fiery diarrhea caused by a mix of stats up consumables was temporal but in effect it made you feel that you had consumed multiple golden apples.
The transparent fire in your pants was so you weren't showing the constant browning in them.
(Suffering is temporary, friends are forever) The fairy was laughing! But this torment didn't end.
""Drink! Drink! Drink!"" Many began to shout when at some it began a drinking contest with rare and strange mixtures of potions.
Cocytus joined when his creator said that his boy could drink you under the table, and to compare the capacity of a devil against… The truth is that he just wanted to see the bugman shit-faced and spend time together. You won because of the willpower that you had and that your ass kept you dehydrated enough that your survival depended on getting more liquids inside.
"One of these stones will do something." Then they began to throw random shiny minerals at you.
Much to your eternal shame and disgrace while feeling the weeping reality at sanity dying off, you ended up absorbing a few of them which was by far much more useful than the other attempts, your feel your tail getting heavier and got a better polish while your helm was more solid and the wings turned a bit more firm.
But was soon over, contracts were repaid and your sanity was almost destroyed by their shenanigans.
[It feels like Karma]
But something motivated you, a deep burning desire inside you, saying that you have to get revenge and..
"Now is my turn." Momonga is pretty much flexing why they are the best around when you saw the doors opening and saw a girl in slave gear. "This is my gift for you."
A magical girl, your instincts told you!
[They want you to breed her and reproduce. A lot. So they can get more contracts from your line.]
You put the girl on a side of your mind then began to put your newest task and contract with Nazarick together, on the other, as you began to do the equation of 1 plus 1 a vision of your future and hopefully very soon future began to form.
"Everything is forgiven, love, peace, and happiness!" You shouted almost immediately translated by your upper head to something more or less aristocratic.
But it was basically that.
(An auto translator for moronic horny teen speech?) Your Intuition is very damn overpowered.
"Entoma has told me about the weakness of your species, so I have procured a suitable replacement for the breeding." Momonga turned out to be the wisest ruler that knows how you worked perfectly.
Now you feel bad for thinking so many bad things about them inside your mind.
"Now Arche, meet your newest owner Kane Gremory and the reason for your survival after the unwanted invasion of our Tomb." At the words of Momonga, a soft whimper could be heard from the girl.
Well now a lot of things make sense, murderhobo life comes with risks like these… You kinda were worried that they attacked a kingdom and got her for you but this was far tamer than expected and completely in their right to do because if you were in their place, there weren't doubts that you would have done worse, aiming for what was yours was the reason why the Pillar Neberius was almost extinct now.
"Very well, thank you for this generous gift." Your birthday was close, so getting a new girl was basically a tradition now. "So as a show of my appreciation, I will leave this gift here."
You left a seizable container on their table with a note of what it is the Fourth Flavor as both a form of bribe and also to mess with these bastards by giving them a very funny moment for all the things that you had to deal with thanks to their families.
The Fourth Flavor side effects were something that you found that are completely acceptable… your victims not so much.
"Your name is Arche?" You asked the blonde magical girl with a smile on your face and after a tiny nod. "Well my duties are over and I just need to talk a little more about my rewards, so we can use this time to get to know each other better."
You could understand the fear and what was passing through her mind as a big gulp passed in her throat.
Thinking something lewd? You are going to enjoy her a lot.
(Maybe you shouldn't carry her like a princess) Then how would show that she is married to me now? Humans do this a lot in the shows.
[She thinks that you are going to fuck her]
But you are planning on doing that? Okay, there must be an issue with your Intuition and conscience.
Even as grateful as you were and completely willing to give a test run. There were priorities before beginning to court her and breed her like-! Right! Lilith, you really are horny when stressed and still need to do a lot before reaching the point where you can do her in a genuine and wholesome manner.
Namely making her stop fearing you.
Even with a change of clothes she looked incredibly uncomfortable, she was tense to the point that you think that she would have ended a panic attack when you walked alongside her, and with how pupils were moving she was constantly as she tried to avoid eye contact and well there was a wariness.
What happened to her party?
[Her Elf's friend survived, one of the leaders ended simping for that one. Others got a destiny worse than dead]
Huh, that is good to know.
"As the leader of Nazarick as mentioned, you are now mine." Your opening statement was clear, she was yours. "So I will be brief with you and make it as clear as possible."
Your eyes bore into her, and Arche shuddered just like you she saw something from you that nobody else saw. A spark of knowledge that you didn't miss and so similar to your own that you couldn't help but smile at the unknown blessing that was given to your Pillar.
[The Eternity of a Sly Meteor in the Nocturnal Sky]
You smiled a pleased smile formed as your desire began to burn.
"Tell me what is your deepest wish for me to make it a reality?" You almost chuckled when the poor girl was shocked by your question. "Let me tell you something important about me, I'm a big fan of this concept called freedom."
The most valuable thing in existence.
"In my opinion, that is the greatest gift that someone could have, and I wouldn't be who I am at this moment without that fascination of mine." You would prefer another method and take it slow to court her yourself. "But we know that denying an overlord isn't possible, so I want to make our relationship genuinely work."
"W-work? How?" Finally reacting? Arche better be careful or you may end up like Zest with how cute you are acting.
"Of course because you are going to be my newest bride or fiancee if you aren't mentally prepared." You made clear that her position isn't going to be low. "You have to understand that our duties will not be just popping childrens, but also the emotional and for that, you are going to obtain a dowry."
Your hand under her chin, her blue eyes looking at yours.
"I'm greedy. I don't want only your body but your mind, soul, and love." You whispered and her breath became heated. "I want you to look at me every day with eyes filled with love and warmth, I want you to smile in complete happiness as you love your life with me, I want you."
An arm moved and took her in an embrace, her soft body pressed with yours as faces almost connected.
"And nothing will stop me from giving you what is needed to make you mine." You promised with your desire at its peak.
(Stop! You are killing her!) Oh right, that was a very hard blush her body was trembling. (You just did an overkill combo on the poor girl!)
"I-I, M-M-ee sist..I." And she almost passed out with how red she was so you smiled in amusement and didn't even fight your embrace she was even enjoying it. "My-my sisters. Give me my sisters back and..."
She gulped it took a lot of bravery to look at you without passing out.
"And I will be yours." She promised in a sincere way.
You kissed her, a deep and passionate one as she gave herself.
"It will be done." You promised.
Then Arche passed out in your arms, kudos had to be given… She lasted 12 seconds more than Fi-chan the first time that you were on the offensive, but there wasn't doubt now that you had a thing for blondes as you enjoyed her new tranquil visage.
"Holy shit." Only to have your moment of success be interrupted.
Can't a devil enjoy the seduction and courting of a magical girl in peace?
"Hello to you too, dickbird-san." You greeted back Peroroncino who looked stricken by your words. "Is there something that you need?"
"Right! Are you good with girls, especially those that specialize in magic?"
You looked at Arche passed out with a silly smile then at the God Emperor of Birdos with a raised eyebrow.
"I kinda need a little love advice, can you give this poor guy a bone?" He chuckled a bit and was getting nervous. "I can pay you with a good bow and give a good word with my sis! Please! I will be your best friend!"
You are getting the cringe of second grade by having Birdman doing a seiza, but you can admit that is an incredibly good offer that you would…
[Melted dick]
Dammit! Okay, it wasn't an absolute problem just… you will accept a bow and then… you will figure out step 2 someday. Maybe a condom? But wasn't that going against what you wanted in the end?
"Let's go to a private room, this is going to be a very thoughtful lesson." You will need an extra detailed lesson plan.
"Thanks, Chad-sensei!" Your name is Kane but if he was motivated then you will take it.
Arche was still unconscious and you kinda need her well-rested for the search of her siblings.
[Five minutes later]
"You are a shota!"
"I still get more sex in a single day than you in all your life!"
"Is my sister fetish!"
It hurts you more than you like to admit not tapping that before going back to Underworld but you can't help but feel that you are missing something important.
[Melting dick]
You know! Satan dammit! It can be worth it!
With the lesson over, you believed that Peroroncino would be capable of reaching first base, afterwards all depends if he doesn't fucked up and that the shy gal with no social skills was into… that. You are good but aren't a miracle maker and you can say that you had tried because the poor man has already suffered enough after meeting his creation.
Outside Nazarick was a world that you really had a chance to truly explore with all the tasks that Demiurge asked you to accomplish while working for him, the Sky was even better than most that you knew and was only defeated in its beauty by Gamindustri and Underworld.
Flying in the Sky of the New World with the girl in your arms wasn't because of joy that you got from this simple act or because the search for Arche's sister ended turned into a 'Do now!' thing that couldn't wait until she regained her conscience.
It was because your Intuition warned you that Dickbird wasn't the only one interested in love advice and it was only that other idiots were busy with the Insect Paladin who was married and in a very stable relationship so they didn't see you making Arche become putty in your arms.
You needed to get out of Nazarick, fast before you were surrounded by Neptunians who wanted to get laid with magical girls.
"...It was a nice.. eh?..EHHHH!?" Oh Arche awakened.
She has some powerful lungs.
[Rescue first then Kane jr can think for you]
"Good day sleeping beauty." You greeted the blushing maiden in your arms. "Don't worry I'm flying over your sisters at this precise moment."
The magical girl just cast a spell in herself to be allowed to… float. You wouldn't call it flying; it wasn't free or natural enough to be called that but reaching the ground safely did wonders for her peace of mind.
"Ah, right!" She laughed a little and barely managed to separate from you, with an adorable 'dammit arche get your head straight' before turning around. "Where are they?"
A simple flap of your wings sends a wave of purification flames that burned through the different [Shitty as fuck] wards that keep a mine hidden in the middle of nowhere.
There were multiple slaves and humans showing why evil wasn't the fault of your species, and the church is a racist organization that blames its incompetence on your people.
"They are here, just say the word and will get them." You whispered to her, and felt triggered in ways that made you think that once again the same monster that the Naberius' triggered was going to hunt again.
"Your name is Kane Gremory?" Her voice was soft and calm, but the sheer hatred and rage were clear in her eyes which became colder by the second.
You nodded too distracted by her expression to talk.
"If my sisters are here, please bring me to my home one last time." Her voice didn't change in tone but you feel your heart racing.
A smile, a sinister one born of pure disdain at the moment that the last string snapped formed.
"And kill my parents before you have your way with me."
You are going to marry this girl.
Your return to Nazarick was calm, and silent travel after a whole manor was set on fire by the nastiest curse that was in your collection as the corpses of a man and a woman were buried together in the collapsing building, it wasn't the best date that you had but Arche has a good style and ideas for a first date.
Her sisters, two very adorable twins, even enjoyed themselves playing with your tail.
"Here! Have this and thanks!" Peroroncino gave you a bow that you immediately saved in your inventory before feeling the connection to the contract getting cut.
He was the fucker that was left to pay!
Before you could say anything another bag of goods fell into your arms, then another in Arche's arms, and then you saw… thickness. Sheer pure thicness.
"Here is your pay, don't call us, we will do it." There was something in the voice of the necromancer.
But before anything could be said, you and Arche alongside the twins Kuuderika and Ureirika, were sent back to the Underworld.
In the middle of your birthday party… whoops, you hope that it was just fashionable late.
[It was.]
Nailed, perfect timing.
With a smile on your face, you turned to the trio of blondes that were starstruck by everything surrounding them.
"Welcome to the Underworld." You welcome them into your home.
Don't think about the opportunity loss Kane, you got a magical girl to breed.
"Are those panties?!" Shrieked your newest harem member before pointing down.
You all were under a pentagram made of Yugioh cards… with the panties of Sera-nee in the middle.
"Master Kane!" Riser shouted with a dumb smile on your face. "I knew that this summoning would work!"
Your executives and other members of your famiglia, your family including your ancestor and finally your peerage was present.
Nobody opened their mouths to say a word against the summoning method of Riser.
Dammit Riser!
"Husbando!" Maria flies to your arms with her three pairs of wings spread. "I missed you!" Her hug was strong.
"Lady Asmodeus! Please control yourself!" An unknown voice called out when Maria began to sniff your body. "I'm so sorry, as her first piece I should have stopped her."
"Don't worry, I was the one that chose her and… What was your name?" You couldn't help but think that you saw her before.
There was a big gulp and nervous energy coming from her but Maria turned her face around to flash a smile and a thumbs up for the first piece of the newly crowned Asmodeus.
"My name is Barbara Barbatos." A very weak and frail smile formed in her face.
…Barbatos? The same Pillar Barbatos that has been an enemy of your Pillar for generations?
[Has hots for you]
You blinked and gave a look at your cheeky succubus Pawn.
"Isn't she perfect?" That perverted grin of Maria made clear why Barbara was pieced.
"Isn't a bad first piece well done, you can tell in detail when you will be crowned." You headpatted Maria as she began to giggle. "Can you give an introduction to your new sisters? I have something to do."
And a salute the succubus Asmodeus began to guide the sisters to the buffet.
"Still worth it, it could be worse." That was what Arche decided before kissing you on the cheek.
A smile formed on your face, she was the one that tried to kiss you until her lungs failed in front of her crippled father.
The party was relatively tamed by the usual standards, and after [very stealthy] collecting the summoning 'reagents' you began to do your usual rounds of politics and moving through circles as fast you could meetings, greetings, dancing with Ravel, playing around with others members of your harem… so many things that you did and feel glad to do without forgetting the most important thing of this day.
All until you finally were left alone with Jack and managed to get away from everything for a solo time.
"It has been three years." You told your Knight as both of you looked at the chaos that soon developed in any Party where Caellum Ardor was. "Jack, when was the last time that I said 'Love you'?"
"I think before you end up getting back to your contract." In other words, too long.
Both of you just sat down and saw the sheer chaos.
Saw how your sister came riding using their fluffy friends as horses while some poor sucker tried to stop them.
Saw how Baldy was in his double-head mode and keep one of them sleeping while commanding the security in a chess game against So-chan.
Saw when Riser was dragged to a 'private' tent and some girls were paying Shirone who counted the money.
Saw... Bova, damn it you like the world more when you believed that he was dead.
Saw Clara and Marnie talked with Arche, pointing at Ravel and the sheer shock of your newest magical girl as the details of your love life came.
Saw a giant plasma tv made of multiple smaller ones showing a dance game while the trio of Neptune, IF and Compa aimed to get a new high score with a very good taste in music.
…
You saw so many precious things alongside Jack because her illusions keep making others believe that you were present and having your ass kissed by some unimportant people.
"All this began with a meeting in Dis." Jack smiled sweetly as both of you saw the Famiglia that they made having so much fun.
"Hey Jack, if I ask you to take my last name would you do it?" You asked your partner in crime who just stared at you. "It just feels better to do it now than later."
A dagger was summoned, a particular one made of the defiance against that piece of a so-called god that you meet in Skyrim, a weapon twisted and changed by your purest flames, a symbol of who you were and the love that you feel for the first member of your peerage.
Only a name could fit now to weapon 'Amore Mio/My love'.
"It may not be a ring, but a dagger does fit better for both of us." You smiled with your eyes as your lips were claimed by your dear Knight.
"Forever and ever." She whispered to you as she put the dagger alongside .
"Forever and beyond even that." You corrected her.
Momonga and you truly had something in common, the families that both of you have made are the greatest and most precious treasures that one can make.
Note: The update is done and now begins the miniturn of Mafiacon before unleashing Kane into the world and the birth of the firstborn. So I will just say something, sometimes the dice love you and other times just hate you by denying you what was basically a preheated slime waifu and gender bender lich. One because of lack of information putting the wrong context, and the other by being a damn good bro and not wanting to play psychiatrist. But hey, you got a blonde magical girl and her twin loli sisters.
Edit: To make clear the issue isn't the slime waifu but the slime rival that can get jelly if mismanaged
Traits Gained:
Furtherest Earth: If before you learned the encroaching of movement, this is the opposite and anti-thesis, opening a crack gave you clues to the existence of the expansion in the space to a certain extent and move through it. Eat shit rain, you can't touch me now... okay you could.
Bouchujutsu or Bedroom Method in not Weeb Speech: A very effective and faster healing technique than normal methods available for devils in which is possible to directly share the ki or vitality with another person for the sake of not only healing their body but also stimulate the life-force itself, this is done by the act of having sex... So yeah, there is a legit excuse why so many women will very physically powerful in the future.
Traits Advanced:
Master CursemeisterArchmage of Curses: Well, honestly you didn't believe that you could reach here this fast, what it should take about at least a decade of not only continuous study but also testing was reached in less than five years by using yourself as a guinea pig, your stupid bullshit constitution, gift of friends and also drugs... just a bit. All the aspects of curses have been obtained and mastered, you understand them and how all of them tick even the mixing of them... You also have an aphrodisiac touch now!
Items Lost:
Amore Mio
Items Gained:
A few potions of Healing with recipes... most of these ingredients don't exist.
Flag of Ainz Ooal Gown: At least is better than a shirt.
Shirt of Ainz Ooal Gown: ...Those motherfuckers.
Pitcher of Endless Water: Well at least you will never get thirsty.
Nazarick (Cocktail) recipe: A very nice alcoholic drink that you didn't manage to taste.
Magic Scroll: Acchan can use this? It saves spells somehow but not beyond low class.
Houyi's Bow: An absolute bullshit weapon that Dickbird gifted you. This bow is able to shoot beams of concentrated sunlight that deal elemental damage and ignore defenses against projectiles like 'arrow' resistance making the only way to block its attack is... if you are capable of countering it with magic. A very good gift if you don't want to use it... [You would have preferred to fuck his sister, a sexy slimegirl, instead.]
And a big number of body parts from different species for Nezuko to eat... And a back scracher! Is a skeleton arm.
