I don't have a computer. And I got a new phone which is ridiculously frustrating
Darcy had told Mr. Gardiner that he knew where Lydia was. He was planning on going there tonight. He didn't want to go alone, but he couldn't really take anyone with him.
Although, he could take someone.
Bingley and Richard would take the secret to the grave. He directed the driver to get Bingley first. The smile on his friend's face lifted his soul a bit.
"What's got you so energetic this time of night?" he said, flopping onto the bench of the carriage..
"I've found Wickham and Lydia," Darcy said simply.
"I don't know if I want to see the squallor he's condemned her to," Bingley grimaced.
"I'm also preemptively horrified at what we'll see," Darcy agreed. They drove to Richard's in silence.
He grinned at the two of them as he slid into the carriage and sat next to Darcy. Richard eyed Bingley in mild concern as he was told the situation.
"Are you sure you want to come?" Richard asked Bingley.
"Of course! Darcy asked me specifically for help. How could I say no?" Bingley smiled
"Like this: N-N-Nooooo," Richard enunciated. Bingley laughed, as Darcy scoffed with a smirk.
"Alright you sour puss," Bingley grinned, " Darcy got me first, and you second."
"He needed his heavy hitter well rested," Richard said with a shrug.
They forgot to talk about Lydia in their effort to not think about the disaster waiting for them.
As they exited the carriage it was not as bad as they feared. They were thinking it would be brawling, pulsing gambling hell. What met them was a quiet tavern with rooms for rent. By the hour yes, but not as chaotic as they imagined.
Bingley went up to the bar keeper, and asked after his friend Wickham. The information was given to Bingley without a thought. Obviously this happy, naive man was a friend. This man was everyone's friend, and so, he had loose pockets. All the better for paying debts. The bar keeper told Bingley quickly and happily. Bingley almost left, before going back and inquiring after Lydia.
They had taken a room with a sitting room and bedroom.
The three went up the stairs to the room. Collectively, they took a breath. Bingley lightly slapped Darcy's shoulder for encouragement as Richard knocked.
The door swung open to reveal Wickhams smug and smiling face.
The instant Darcy saw Wickham he was eclipsed by red. He ground his teeth for a microsecond before throwing himself into Wickham, punching into his jaw. Wickham twisted and fell into the ground.
Wickham screamed as Darcy straddled him and repeatedly beat him with both hands.
"Get him off!" Richard said as Bingley ripped Darcy away. Richard kept one foot on Wickhams chest as Bingley held Darcy away.
"What the fuck was that for??" Wickham hollering.
"Ye know damn well!" Bingley barked back, his childhood accent slipping out. Richard looked more wide-eyed at Bingley than he did with Darcy.
"You've broken my nose!" Wickham accused.
"He did not," Richard rolled his eyes, "some powder and you'll be pretty as a lady once again.'' Wickham glared at Richard, who let him stand back up.
"You!" Wickham shouted, pointing at Bingley, "if it wasn't for you poisoning the Darcys against me, I wouldn't be in the mess!"
"It wasn't so much poisoning against so much as displaying the results of your own poison," Bingley grinned, turning to Wickham, rather pleased with himself.
"God you're a posh piece of shit. Between you and that bitchy Mrs. Reynolds my life–" Wickham was tackled into a rickety chair by Darcy. The chair shattered on impact.
"Again with the violence!" Richard cried, diving into the fight and catching a blow to the face. He kicked Wickham in the chest, sending him sailing into the ground. Darcy was helped up by Bingley, holding a hand over a few scratches on his cheek.
Bingley spat on Wickham.
"Mrs Reynolds is a gem ye limp dick!" he said.
"Where is Lydia?" Richard sighed, getting them all on track. Wickham glared fiercely over his bloodied lip, before remembering that she was his ticket. That sly, oily smile stretched over his face. Darcy was disgusted he'd ever fallen for it.
"Quite safe, I assure you. We just have to negotiate my terms. Poor Darcy boy wouldn't want her to drag her family down into infamy."
Bingley slapped the back of Wickham's head, snapping it forward.
"What the fuck?!" he shot, rubbing the spot as Bingley shook his hand.
"Made my hand tingle," Bingley admitted, "Don't do that conniving shit. It's gross. We know who you are," he told Wickham.
Richard eyed Bingley in careful confusion.
"I think we need to talk amongst ourselves," Darcy told Wickham, who nodded and settled in to await his prize.
"We could kill him," Bingley said quietly as they huddled. They paused for a second, each thinking it over. It seemed like a good idea.
"Wait a second, who the fuck are you?" Richard said, looking at Bingley.
"I don't know, I just have a lot of anger right now," Bingley sighed, shrugging a shoulder.
"All this time, I didn't know you had it in you" Richard said approvingly. Bingley shrugged again
"We can't kill him," Darcy said, "Lydia left a paper trail with his name all over it. Can't show up with a Johnson or a Smith after that."
"Damn rotten luck" Richard said
"Are you sure? There's already a scandal, why not we not shackle the girl to that?" Bingley said
"Because society will mar the sisters to oblivion" Darcy said, still thinking.
"Damn society," Bingley mumbled.
"Damn straight," Richard said thoughtfully, "What if we marry them and send them to India, or the Americas, in the regulars?"
"Do we want to sentence Lydia to the America's and also with Wickham?" Darcy said. Bingley whistled as he shook his head.
"Darcy has a point," Bingley said, "she may be awful, but what a bloody awful existence. "
"Picky picky," Richard said, "alright, I have a friend in charge of a battalion in New Castle." Darcy and Bingley cringed. Richard hurried on.
"Now now, I know, but New Castle is still in England, still a regular, so he could get shipped to France, and they are desperate for men because no one wants to go to New Castle. They'll probably pay you for his commission."
Now they all had to think. That was a good idea. Not as good as killing him, but alas. Suddenly, Bingley glanced up at Richard and Darcy.
"Are you asking my opinion? Because I thought this was Darcy's thing,'' Bingley said honestly. Darcy and Richard scoffed a little laugh.
"There's the Bingley I know," Richard said, patting his shoulder. Bingley rolled his eyes and looked at Darcy, who sighed and nodded.
They all turned collectively to look at Wickham, who started that sly grin, but stopped at the aggressive eye roll from Bingley.
"I'll buy you a post at New Castle," Darcy said, beginning the negotiations. Wickham barked a laugh.
"I'm supposed to be enticed into marrying the girl. New Castle is an icy prison. How about 30,000 and a place in Bath?"
Before Darcy or Richard could fly into an aghast rage, Bingley laughed.
"You don't have 30,000 pound bargaining power. We were talking of killing you and it took an embarrassing amount of time to come up with a reason against it. I'm surprised you're still among the living with the stories I hear of you," he chuckled.
Richard stared at Bingley in open mouthed shock. Wickham stared at Darcy in absolute betrayal.
"Kill me? We were all such good friends! Don't you remember those late night talks with your father, Will?" Wickham exclaimed. Darcy did remember. Even though he didn't say much, he was glad to listen to someone happy.
"I'll buy your commission and give you 3,000 pounds," he said, unable to let his childhood friend go just yet. He felt disapproval from both his friends, but neither made a noise, which was odd in itself.
Wickham seemed like he would retaliate, but decided against it after looking at Richard.
"I suppose I'll be a married man then!" He gave a sick smile. "I suppose I'll see you at the wedding?"
"No, you and Miss Lydia are coming with us now," Darcy said. "I told her Aunt I would bring her to their house, and you can stay at Darcy house. We four can be together just like old times." Wickham paled a bit.
"Do you remember putting snakes in his bed?" Bingley asked Richard, who howled a laugh. Wickham turned red with anger.
"I knew that was you!" he yelled.
"I'll go get Lydia, I think I'll convince her best," Bingley said. Darcy nodded and he and Richard grabbed hold of Wickham. Bingley walked into the bedroom.
Darcy paid for the lodging.
"Married man, a married man!" Richard grunted as he threw Wickham in the carriage.
"I'm coming willingly, you don't have to do all that," Wickham spat.
"You can hardly deny my pleasure though," Richard said, "it would be rude." Darcy slid into the carriage with them. They heard Lydia's voice, mixed with Bingleys. Lydias was a little slurred.
"You'll have to get a simple dress. My sister says they're making a splash in Paris," Bingley said.
"La! That's sooo silly! Maybe that's-hic-that's why they're losing the war. They have back- backwards ideas!" she declared.
"I'll have to follow your wisdom then, have you thought of what thing you'll wear for something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue?" Bingley said, opening the carriage door. Lydia hopped up and in with no fighting or tears. Her face was red and her eyes dimmed. Darcy groaned and Richard turned red with anger.
"Oh my Wickham!" she exclaimed, ignoring Bingley and throwing her arms around Wickham. Wickham looked peeved. "Oh you're- hic- you're all bruised up. Did you trip again? La, I hope it doesn't show on our wedding day. Oooh!" She shrieked.
"Yes," Bingley smiled at Lydia, "our clumsy, little friend tripped and fell down the stairs." Wickham glared from behind Lydia, only to wipe it away when she turned to him.
"Oh my poor dear Wicky! Here! Let me kiss it all away!" Lydia began. Bingley made a face of disgust.
"Oh no Miss Lydia!" Richard began, "it's bad luck to do that. It might turn him into a… a weakling." Darcy covered his eyes with a hand and bit his lip. Bingley leaned forward and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.
"Yes, he's already clumsy, why add weakling into it?" Bingley said. Lydia laughed, knowing they were making jokes, but not knowing the correct cause. She giggled at hearing her giggle and at hearing Richard and Bingley laugh.
"La! La!! I don't know why either of you are friends with that Dour- burp- Dour Darcy, but aren't you refreshing?" She said pushing Richard lightly. She was sweating and the reddish tone of her face was turning green. "I thought I wouldn't ever- hic- ever hear a joke again when I heard Darcys-Darcy's voice through the wall." She then threw up on Wickham.
Bingley erupted into laughter as Richard cackled. Darcy barked a laugh.
Oxoxoxoxox
He still had bruises on his hands. They were pale and yellowed, but still bruises. His hands were mottled from his unrestrained anger with Wickham.
He and Bingley stood outside of Longbourne. He flexed both hands nervously. He would never take his gloves off. Elizabeth would never know what he'd done. He didn't want her pity or any feeling of indenture. He wanted her for her spirit. If he wanted someone to fawn over him he would've gotten married long ago.
She could never know, or else he would definitely lose her forever.
