Gorgeous Grampa The Simpsons at a parody of Storage Wars discover Grampa kept some very effeminate things, thinking he cross dresses or is gay... They find he was a Heel wrestler called Glamorous Godfrey. (A villainous wrestler or rule breaker) But he hated being hated so he quit. But Mr Burns convinces him to become Glamorous Godfrey again. However he becomes a bad influence on Bart who starts showboating and being rude during sporting events.

Plot

The titles are just the titles then we cut to the couch gag which is the Simpsons jumping on the Meme bandwagon by dancing to Harlem Shake.

"Oh god no!" Oscar screamed.

More and more characters join in including one episode or minor characters like the Grumple and Capitol City Goofball.

...

Homer comes into the lounge to find Lisa reading.

"Hmm. I can't believe you're reading when there's so much great stuff on TV." said Homer.

"Hmm, you're right." said Lisa. "I wonder if Happy Little Elves is on." She flicked through. It wasn't on yet. "Well ain't that a kick in the teeth..."

"Hmmmm, genius daughter, polite, likes TV. Woohoo! I think I hit the jackpot! How about you Herb role playing as Mr Wormwood?" Homer asked his half brother.

At the Powell mansion.

"Matilda we have a TV! What are you doing?!" Herb snapped as Matilda was reading.

"Reading Daddy. It's Nicholas Nickleby." said Matilda reading.

Her fat brother made a face.

"Matilda! In this house! At dinner time we watch the TV that Daddy stole while we eat our TV Dinnefs!" Herb scolded her.

"Daddy I don't like that mind rotting box and if you damage my library book I'll use my Carrie style mind powers to blow up the TV!" Matilda snapped.

Lisa winced. "That book was neat but Carrie style mind powers?!"

Oscar smirked. "Matilda should have totally gone Carrie..."

"It is the golden age of well-written, brilliantly-acted TV shows." said Oscar.

"(scoffs) Writing is for bathroom walls," said Homer.

"Okay!" Oscar grinned.

"No! No writing on the walls!" Homer stopped him as he ran off by grabbing the back of his shorts. "and acting is for getting out of DUIs. The only reason TV exists is for reality shows about white-trash scuzzbags doing subhuman, made-up jobs."

Oscar snapped because he said White trash.

"HOW DARE YOU USE THAT SLUR! THAT'S REALLY OFFENSIVE AS IS ME OR YOU CALLING A BLACK PERSON THE N WORD! CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE MICRO AGGRESSOR!" He snapped.

"Okay fine! White people are great..." Homer sighed.

"Well not all of em..." said Oscar.

"Look let's see what's on TV..." said Homer. He flicked through funny programmes.

"I'd rather read..." said Matilda.

Herb frowned at her.

...

Homer flicks through Tube Town. the app of weird TV programmes.

Swamp Huffers.

"Um..." said Lisa.

American Tattoos. Burner Offers.

"Ay!" said Lisa disapproving.

"Cooooool!" said Bart.

"Hell no!" Homer realised.

Cockroach-tervention. Something about cockroaches possibly.

"Oh." Lisa was disgusted.

Autopsy Wars.

"Ah." Lisa was disgusted with that too.

"Eeeeew!" said Homer.

Wheelchair Thieves of Beverly Hills.

"No!" Lisa said annoyed.

"Cooooool!" said Oscar.

"Oz how is stealing wheelchairs off of handicapped people funny?!" Lisa snapped.

"Yeah buddy! I've been injured enough to be confined to a wheelchair! Remember!" Bart said glaring daggers at Oscar.

Porn Horders! Yes!

"Eek." Lisa yelled disgusted.

"Put that back on now!" Oscar yelled. "I want to see porn!"

"No Oz." said Homer flicking through.

UpscAlien in Da House.

"Bleh..." Lisa said bored and finding the show stupid.

One big Happy Hobo Taxidermy family. The freaky kind of taxidermists...

"Yikes!" said Lisa.

Roadkill Cook Off.

"Oh." Lisa was disgusted.

"Hey! My papa loves that show!" Mary Spuckler complained. (I ship Bart and Mary so there!)

Bart winced.

The Tv then flicked over to Everglades Gay Wedding Chapel with a rainbow flag.

"Hell no!" Homer screamed.

"Hell yes!" said Hugo.

Homer throttled him.

Cough syrup Bandits

"Um..." said Lisa.

American Junk Piercers. The logo looks like the Jumanji logo.

"Ugh." said Lisa.

Skunk people.

"Well..." said Lisa.

"You're right sweetie next channel..." said Homer.

"No! Skunk people! Skunk people!" Oscar screamed trying to change it back.

"Oz no! Let go!" Homer grunted.

"Do not deny me Skunk Tim Conway and live action cut aways! Oh Pepe le Pew! And Flower!" Oscar ranted.

As the TV flashed between channels one being Skunk people that Oscar kept trying to put back on. The other Tiny Horses, Tiny Glue Factory.

"Ah. Dad!" Lisa cried.

"Sorry sweetie. Oz let go! We're not watching Skunk people!"

Homer flicked over, Next was, Toddlers and Tarantulas.

"No!" said Lisa.

"That's either a gruesome documentary or hot spider baby bondage. I like being webbed up and babysat by giant spiders..." said Oscar.

"Ew!" said Lisa.

Cousin Hank seethed.

Next was. Meth Boss!

"Ah!" Lisa cried.

"I an the one who knocks!" Oscar yelled.

Next was, Crocodile Matchmaker.

"Oh." said Lisa.

"Coooool!" said Oscar.

Porn Hoarders Texas.

"Seriously?" Lisa gasped.

"Ooooooh!" Oscar moaned in a perverted manner.

Something gruesome. Probably Autopsy Wars again.

"Ah!" Lisa yelped.

(bluesy rock music playing) "Ooh, jail music!" said Homer.

"When storage lockers are abandoned, we open them up! Our expert bidders face off in the ultimate contest to discover the amazing treasures within. This is Storage Battles!" said a narrator. No! It's Storage Wars!

"I'll give it one marathon." said Homer.

...

48 episodes later.

Homer is still watching the show and there's snacks everywhere and Santa's little Helper is eating potato chips with his head in the bag. Homer has three pizzas in boxes that he ordered from somewhere.

Oscar takes one and goes "Mmmmmmm!" And eats a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"I don't care what people say, I am feeling this unit." said CJ the fat blond rough neck tattoo artist bar fly.

"No one feels out a unit like CJ. Not Bubba, not Debbie and Danny, no one." said Homer with a heavy beard.

"I have no idea why I'm watching this crap..." said Oscar eating pizza.

"Mostly worthless junk: family photo albums, home movies, ah, kids' drawings." said CJ.

"Hey! Do not dis Kid drawings!" Oscar snapped. "I'm a professional cartoonist!"

"Who told you you could help yourself to my pizzas!" Homer whined.

"Homer you can't eat four large pizzas on your own..." said Oscar.

Homer seethed.

"Eh, just some nobody." said CJ finding an Urn and spilling out the ashes rudely.

"Here we go, here we go. Bubble wrap." said CJ.

"Woooooooooooo!" The ghost of a Grampa was trying to scare him.

"Will you shut up?!" CJ sighed telling off the ghost.

The ghost sighed and floated away somewhere.

"If there's wrap, it ain't crap." CJ explained in a red room.

"Bingo! Antique bayonets." He found the wrapped objects were bayonets. "Oh! I'm talking World War One, Spanish American War. Crimea, baby." said CJ looking at them.

"Well, if you found the right buyer on the right day, and he knew nothing about bayonets, you might sell them for possibly $500." said a guy with glasses examining them.

"Definitely $500. $500! Five hundy! Five hundaminidos!" said CJ cheering as dollar signs appear and cash register noises.

(chuckles) Homer chuckled dementedly as he had dollar signs in his eyes.

Oscar frowned.

Graggle cane in and sat down. "What cha watching?"

"Storage locker auction programme..." said Homer.

...

Upstairs in the bathroom.

(humming) Marge was in the bathroom putting on fresh toilet rolls on the holders and humming.

Homer ran in from downstairs.

"High-five me, Marge." said Homer.

"I want to know what it's for. And gently..." said Marge.

"Too late." Homer high fived her. "We're gonna get rich off the poor and forgetful. And dead people." said Homer.

"Homie did you get into that Storage Battles and now you want us to take part in one..." Marge sighed.

Homer nodded eagerly.

Marge sighed.

"What is wrong with you people?!" Oscar ranted. "Your auctioning programmes amount to taking advantage of forgetful and dead people and breaking into their private storage lockers and selling their stuff like vultures!" He ranted. "In Britain people only auction willingly their own antiques! They don't pillage off of others!"

"Quiet boy!" Homer snapped.

"No Homer! Oscar's right! Our auctioning programmes are so unsavoury and probably illegal! Since when was it right to pillage people?!" said Marge.

Homer sighed. "Well we're going anyway."

Marge muttered annoyed.

"I don't want to be away from from my Y-box..." said Bart playing with handheld games console.

Marge sighed.

At a storage depot. There is a storage locker boot fair.

"I bet I win a locker full of treasure," said Moe. "like a solid gold bar of silver" Moe that's silly.

"No it's not Author. He probably meant Electrum." said Hugo. Electrum is an alloy of gold and silver.

The disembodied voice of the narrator grumbled.

"Or Picasso's TV." said Moe.

"Okay now that's stupid... Picasso did not have a TV..." Hugo sighed.

"Oh, no, no, no. It is I who will be watching Picasso's TV tonight!" said Apu. (both grunting) Apu and Moe fight.

"Once again... Picasso did not have a TV..." Hugo sighed.

"How do you know?!" Homer asked. "Freak!"

"Enough!" Oscar snapped at Homer.

"Because it's common sense! It's stupid to think he had something as mundane as a TV!" Hugo ranted.

Pablo Picasso arrives, a bald elderly artist holding a paint pallet. "Uh I actually watched a lot of TV..."

Hugo face palmed.

"Or perhaps... chicken glasses!" said Moe.

Hugo wept frustrated.

"Coooool! Chicken glasses!" Oscar cooed.

"Looks like you're not the only predatory opportunist in town." said Marge to Homer.

(gasps) There's other Predatory opportunists?!" said Homer.

Oscar screamed and fled.

"No Oz! Not that kind of predatory opportunist!" Marge explained.

The Simpsons sweat dropped.

Plot 2

"Uh-oh, better put on my game shades." said Homer putting on cool shades.

However all the other townsfolk put on cool shades.

Homer nudged Marge and his family and Oz and the non canon Simpsons Hugo and Eric put cool sunglasses on.

"Do I hear $50? Let me get $50." said the auctioneer.

"Oh, yeah!" said Duffman.

$100. Is there $100 out there? Looking for $100." The auctioneer asked. Wiggum fired his hand gun. "Thank you! $150, $150."

(strums electric guitar) Otto played his guitar.

"Do I have $200? $250. Do I hear..." asked the auctioneer.

(yelling grunt) Crazy Cat Lady threw a cat at him.

"$350."

"Yarr!" said Sea Captain.

"Four. Do I hear $400?"

Wiggum fired a shotgun.

"$450."

"Bidding!" said Professor Frink.

"$500."

(plays bagpipes) Willie plays the bagpipes.

"$550."

"Skinner!" Chalmers yelled.

"$600." said the auctioneer.

(trumpeting) Stampy made a bid.

"No Stampy you can't bid..." Bart sighed.

$650. $650 going once, $650 going twice..." said the auctioneer.

"Dude! An elephant can't bid!" Bart whined.

(Trumpeting) Stampy blew his trunk annoyed.

"Bid sustained at $650 from the elephant." said the auctioneer.

(saxophone playing) Lisa played her saxophone.

"$1,000. $1,000 going once, going twice. Sold to the man who didn't wait for the bidding to get anywhere near $1,000!" said the auctioneer.

(Elephant roaring) Stampy moaned annoyed.

"In the money game, cash is king. (chuckles)" said Homer showing his money off to the camera. However we pan to another point of view showing he is showing his money to nothing.

"Homer who are you flashing your money at... there's no one there..." said Marge.

...

(harmonica playing bluesy music) Music plays as the Simpsons break into the locker they bought.

"We spent $1,000 on a bunch of old boxes?" Marge gasped as there were boxes inside.

"You won't be laughing when these boxes are full of priceless treasures." said Homer.

"I wasn't laughing, I was being worried." said Marge.

(humming) Homer hummed as he opened a box, but... "Feather boas?"

"Mine's full of hand mirrors." said Bart holding dainty hand mirrors.

"I've got perfume spritzers." said Lisa.

"Makeup and baby oil." said Marge.

"Tights? Robes? Oh, this stupid locker must have belonged to some old lady." Homer sighed.

""Property of Abraham J. Simpson"? This is Grampa's stuff!" said Lisa realign the locker was Grampa's.

"Why would my man-dad have lady stuff?" Homer asked horrified.

"It's not all lady stuff. Look at all these fitness publications." said Marge. There were magazines with muscular men on them.

Hugo picked one up and moaned aroused and drooled. "Hugey buddy, you're just playing tormenting your bigoted dad, right?" Oscar sighed.

"Maybe,.." saudHugomin a camp manner.

Oscarwinced.

"Beefcake mags? (gasps) I think your dad might be gay." said Marge.

"Oh, that's insane. My dad was married to a woman who left him because he ignored her needs for decades." said Homer. Stop ignoring canon!

"ENOUGH!" Oscar snapped startling the Simpsons. "I've dealt with your accepted by SJWs racism against whites just because we're the "master race"... you not letting me watch Skunk People, You being cruel to Hugey and now you're denying canon! Mona did not leave your dad because she hated him! She was forced to run away because that asshole Mr Burns sent the Feds after her for killing his stupid germs! Now why the hell won't you let me kill that bastard already!"

The Simpsons were shaking from Oscar's outburst.

"Oz, you have issues man..." said Bart nervously.

"I DO NOT!" Oscar snapped.

"No seriously Marge, my Dad is not gay..." said Homer. Marge held a feather Boa.

"Oh god! No! My gay dad is gay for gays..." Homer screamed.

Marge grumbled.

"Cooooool!" Hugo chuckled.

Homer seethed glaring at him.

...

In the locker.

(harmonica playing bluesy music)

(groans) Homer is being bigoted again and is annoyed his dad might be gay.

"I think this is great. Old gay men are adorable. Like wrinkle dogs in a wrinkle dog calendar." said Marge being kind and accepting.

Homer was waving a cross about glaring.

"Those are pretty cute." said Lisa.

"That is sweet and kind Marge but I don't think gay people want to be considered cute among other sexualities. I think they just want to be accepted by society like everyone else." said Oscar.

"Quite right, Oz." said Marge.

"Your dad's been in the closet for so long, he probably doesn't know how tolerant society's become." said Marge.

"Die Faggots! Turn my boys into fruits will you?!" Homer screamed angrily at passing gay men.

"Oh be nice..." said the gays.

Marge grumbled.

Ned was glaring and carrying a placard saying "Sodomy is a sin!" Sodomy is an old word for gay sex.

Marge sighed. "Never mind..."

"No Mom, They even had a gay float in the Pride Parade last year. Just ignore Dad and Mr Flanders's bigotry..."

Homer seethed.

"My dad has always been so angry. Maybe if we help him be who he is, he'll finally be happy." said Uncle Herb.

Oh, Herb, you're so enlightened. Not like my husband, your half brother." said Marge.

"Yeah, gay rights are human rights, Marge." said Herb. Homer pulled a face at him. "However I'm very mean to my intellectual book reading daughter because I love TV."

Lisa sighed.

The Simpsons go to the retirement Home with a reluctant Homer. They're wearing Rainbow flag shirts and carrying pride flags.

Marge I am not wear this! I don't support queers! Bart take that off now!" Homer snapped.

"Oh go home them! Just go home if you're gonna be a pill!" Marge snapped. "But I don't think I will want to come back later!"

Homer gasped horrified.

...

(humming) Marge hummed as she knocked on Abe's door.

"Are you sure you're not just doing all this because it's cool to be accepting of a gay family member?" asked Bart.

Oh, honey, that's just silly." Marge replied. "This'll show Helen Lovejoy. Always bragging about her he-she cousin." She added under her breath.

"Oh it's about time you came to see me! Where's Homer? And why are you so colourful?" Abe asked.

"Abe, we found your storage locker." said Marge. Abe gasped.

"It's okay, Dad. We know the truth, and we love you." said Herb.

"I don't! I hate you! You old faggot!" Homer snapped.

"What?! The contents of that locker are my private business! Get out!" Abe threw them out and slammed the door.

"Just admit who you are, and you can find new love. If you don't want to die alone, come out of your room." said Marge.

"You probably offended him with your faggotry Marge..." Homer muttered.

"Oh shut up!" Marge snapped.

(moaning): Love... love... love... love... (all gasping) Um this is probably singing. I bet it's that stupid Love, love looooooove song with the lame whistling.

Evergreen Terrace.

"Hi, Marge. I was just taking Stanlerina to get her hormone shots." said Helen Lovejoy taking a man in transition to a woman somewhere.

"Helen you don't have to keep rubbing it in... I accept Stanlerina's transition! And I'm happy for her! Just as I'm accepting of who you identify as, be that Helen Lovejoy or Harold Lovejoy." said Marge.

"Well um... Your husband's a bigot." said Helen.

"So's yours..." Marge sighed.

"Oh. Your father wasted his whole life being married to your mother and having you." said Marge to Homer who was avoiding her.

"Marge, if Dad has been happy with his sickness, he'd never have me, you'd never meet me and never have Bart, the freak, Lisa and Maggie." said Homer.

"And I'd be far happier! But there's no time to argue. Your dad needs our help!" said Marge angry at him.

"We've got to find him a boyfriend before it's too late. Why don't you put a personal ad on the lnternet? That's how young people date these days." said Herb.

"It's weird that you don't consider yourself a young person." said Bart.

"I know. It's weird to me, too." said Herb.

"You know how I feel Marge. Keep me out of this..." Homer said coldly.

Marge grumbled annoyed at his bigotry.

"James?" she asked. Yes Erik, this is a James episode in my canon...

"I'm sorry Marge but I've got a really important science experiment to monitor." said James from the basement.

""Help me out of the closet. "Wonderful older man seeks life partner before rapidly-encroaching death." No fatties." said Herb's advert for Abe on the dating website.

"How about some fatties?" Marge sighed.

"Fine..." Herb sighed.

"Okay, post this under "Men Seeking Men." But what subheading?" Marge pondered. "Hmm, nothing too serious..." said Marge.

"Here we go, "Casual Encounters." Perfect! No pressure." said Herb.

...

The Park.

"I hope someone saw our ad. If I can't find my father a man to kiss and cuddle, then I've failed as a son." Said Herb.

"Ooooooh! Herb you're a good son... unlike My Homer. I don't know where he gets this homophobia from because I certainly hope it's not from your dad..." Marge sighed.

(gasps) "Someone's coming." said Herb hiding in the bushes.

Smithers arrived.

"What are you looking at?" Abe rudely asked him.

"Are you "Wrinkled and Romantic"?" Smithers asked him.

"Huh? What the heck are you talking about, Spectacles?" Abe asked.

"Oh, I've been hung up on someone for years, but I'm trapped in the friend zone. (sighs) It's time for me to move on." said Smithers.

"So move on. You're blocking the ducks!" said Abe rudely.

Suddenly Marge and Herb jumped out of the bushes startling him into a fit of gibberish.

"Don't you want to be happy, Abe? Admit who you are, a wonderful gay man." said Marge.

(stammers) "What?! I don't ride sidesaddle! I'm straight as a submarine!" said Abe.

"Thank god..." Homer sighed with relief. Marge glared at him.

"Then how do you explain this?" Herb held his box of effeminate stuff. Before Abe could answer however...

"Oh, hello, Smithers. (chuckles) Fancy seeing you in Casual Encounter Park." Said Mr Burns. He gasped when he saw Herb put a long blond wig on Abe. (gasps) "You're Glamorous Godfrey!"

"Who?" Homer asked.

"Glamorous Godfrey was the most famous wrestler in the world. And you are he!" said Mr Burns addressing Abe.

"Is this true?" asked Marge.

"Behold." Mr Burns had a picture of Abe as Glamorous Godfrey.

"Look at all this wrestling crap." said Homer.

"Ah." said Lisa in awe.

"Ay, caramba!" said Bart.

"Um... in the words of the Greek genius Archimedes, Eureka!" said Hugo wearing glasses with no lenses. Too look smart. He has 20 20 vision.

"Fine, I was Glamorous Godfrey." said Abe.

(sobbing) Marge cried.

"What's wrong?" Homer asked.

"I so wanted him to be gay." Marge cried.

"Well I didn't!" Homer snapped.

"Well, on V.E. Day, I kissed a man by mistake." said Abe.

Homer screamed.

"Thank you." said Mr Burns being nice to Abe just because he was a wrestler he liked.

"You were a world-famous wrestler?" Homer asked. "Spill the beans, old man..."

Abe dropped cans of beans he was hiding up his sweater. They clanged on the concrete path of the park.

Bart face palmed.

Oscar laughed. "That never gets old..."

"Word beans..." Homer sighed.

Plot 3

Still in the park.

"Oh, all right, I'll tell you. It was the 1950s..." said Abe telling a story.

"Oh, those things?" Homer whined.

"Dad shhhh! Let us just get through this..." Bart groaned.

"It was the heyday of pro wrestling. You could make good money if you were the manly mixture of strong and fat we called beefy." said Abe over a flashback of old wrestlers.

"Good guys were called "baby faces." And bad guys were called "heels."" said Abe.

"We know Grampa... you don't know we like wrestling...?" Bart sighed.

"I was the king of the heels, Glamorous Godfrey." said Abe. Young Abe as a vain wrestler was brushing his long hair. He threw a glass of milk in his opponents face.

"How dare he! That was drinking milk!" said a man.

"Why is my Gramps in this flashback?" Toon Link winced.

"My motto was "Always cheat." said Abe. He cheated by using dirty tricks such as poking a wrestler in the eyes, knocking out a wrestler and calling an artist into the ring to paint him then smashing the painting on the wrestler as he got up.

people jeered and booed.

"But the thing that really drove them crazy was my vanity." said Abe.

"You are the luckiest people in the world. You get to look at me." Young Abe as Glamorous Godfrey said boasting to the audience.

(crowd booing)

"Grampa, you were the original bad boy!" Bart asked in awe.

"Yeah, I was boastful before all your football showboaters, rap music-ers and TV beach ltalians." said Abe.

"But there was a down side to being hated: being hated." said Abe.

(crowd booing) He was booed in the streets.

(crowd booing) He was booed in church.

"Well, I just couldn't take it. Being despised was no way to live." said Abe. He retired as a wrestler.

"Pshaw! Pshaw, I say!" Mr Burns snapped.

"Pshaw yourself!" Abe snapped.

"Pshaw!"

"Pshaw!"

"Pshaw!"

"Pshaw!" They do that... at each other.

"Homer, do something! They're killing each other!" Marge gasped.

"Wait! Let Grampa kill Mr Burns!" said Oscar.

"Oh, yeah? (muffled shouting)" Homer clasped his hand over Abe's mouth and dragged him away,

"The world may have despised Glamorous Godfrey, but that conceited mother-puncher was my hero." said Mr Burns.

"I didn't punch any mothers! Where are you getting that from!?" Abe gasped.

"Please, Abe, let me buy you dinner in exchange for a few tales of the golden age of professional grappling." Mr Burns was being charitable simply because he liked Abe's wrestling persona.

"Sorry, I been trying to forget those days for 50 years." said Abe.

"But, Grampa, I want to hear about old-time wrestling, too." said Bart eagerly. Also it's cute when he's being a regular kid and not mean to everyone.

"Well, it looks like you've made a new fan. It'd be a shame to let him down, hmm?" said Mr Burns with a sly grin.

"Fine. One dinner." said Abe.

"Excellent. So we'll take the boy and make a night of it." said Mr Burns.

"I don't know. Should I really let the men who ruined my past and present hang out with the kid who's going to ruin my future?" Homer pondered.

"You don't get to make that choice, bigot." Oscar snapped.

"I'll bring you home my dessert." said Bart to Homer.

"Text me the choices." said Homer.

"You don't deserve dessert..." Oscar snapped.

...

A fancy restaurant.

"I can't believe I'm on the town with Glamorous Godfrey himself. Tell me of your epic battle with Swedish Olaf Johannsen." said Mr Burns.

"Hinger dinger durgen!" said Oscar dressed as a Viking.

Bart face palmed. "He's like that every time we go somewhere foreign..."

"Oh, yeah, "The Fury of the Fjords."" said Abe.

In a flashback Glamorous Godfrey used dirty tricks the beat up Olaf.

(shouting in Swedish) Olaf cried in Swedish ie "Hinger dinger durgen!" or "Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!" (muffled grunting)

(laughs) Godfrey laughing.

"You settled that Swede's meatballs." said Mr Burns.

"Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!" Oscar did Swedish chef sounds. "There's Ding duuuuhhhh... (Deep incoherently talking like he's derping) Herpadergen... SloppenMorgen...IKEA"

Bart face palmed.

"Sven, what is this about ze potatis?! Ah Neej..." said Oscar still taking the mick out of the Swedish.

"Olaf Myfriendsaregay? Neej I am not busy right now..."

Bart face palmed.

"What I wouldn't give to see Glamorous Godfrey in action once more. Would you ever consider throwing your wig back into the ring?" Mr Burns asked Abe.

"Go back to being a villain? Oh, forget that. Being hated is the worst feeling there is." Abe explained.

(chuckles) "You've got it all wrong, my friend." said Mr Burns. "Once you see it my way, you'll understand that being hated is the greatest feeling in the world." Mr Burns gets on stage and starts singing.

Don't really care for chasing women

Never was keen on booze

Don't take cocaine or Mary Jane

Uncle Buck Tamaki was smoking from a bong. Oscar had a picture of Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane.

No, I get drunk on boos...

"Uh, that's B-O-O-S, not Z-E as before." said Mr Burns.

"Uh, we get it..." said Bart bored.

Because...

(grunts) Mr Burns jumps on men's top hats squashing them. The posh men grunt annoyed.

"I say! How rude!"

You've got to love to be hated

Find the good in being bad

Oh, the crowd is full of gentlemen

But they've paid to see the cad

Yes, it's a hoot, a kick, a gas

(He kicks food about while dancing on the table.)

When you're the villain of the show

Once you wear black, you'll never go back

It's a high to be loathed

(He steals a black Stetson from Rich Texan and some guy's hairpiece and wears the Stetson and hair piece as a moustache to look like the old fashioned "Tie a maiden to the train tracks villain."

Chucky, Stalin, Megatron

He does shadow puppets in the shape of the characters.

Eric Cartman, Donkey Kong

"Someone really knows their Nintendo!" Comic Book Guy gasped.

"I'm more concerned he knows who Cartman is!" said Oscar.

Vader, Nader, Simon Legree

Terminators, one, two and three

Iago, Joker, Voldemort

"That looks nothing like Iago from Aladdin!" Oscar pouted.

"That was meant to be Iago from Othello you uncultured brat!" Mr Burns snapped.

"Hey you're the one that knows about Donkey Kong and South Park." said Oscar.

McEnroe on center court

Mr. Burns and Skeletor

Keep your good guys, what a snore

Blofied, Zod and Ming! Oh Lucifer! How I love to sing!

When it's your head they wanna sever

And your blood they wanna shed

You know you're gonna live forever

If everybody wants you dead

So listen up, because I'm giving

The best advice you'll ever know

So feel the thrill

I know you will

It's a high to be

Loooooooathed...

"I'll feel like I'll live forever as long as everybody wants me dead..." Mr Burns sang.

"Oz we hate his guts, but man that guy can sing..." said Bart.

"Yeah... our next movie should totally have Disney style sing a longs..." said Oscar.

Matt huffed annoyed.

"Okay, Burns! Glamorous Godfrey will wrestle again!" said Abe.

(all gasp) Everyone gasps.

"That cocaine I ordered is taking forever!" said Rich Texan.

...

The Simpsons are going to see an old timey wrestling match.

(indistinct chatter)

I can't wait to see Grampa kick some ass." said Bart, "He's always pretended to be boring, but he's really a straight-up psycho."

"Your grandfather is not psycho. The only thing he's "straight-up" is that he loves you." Marge said sharply.

"Gorilla Joe, Gorilla Sam, Gorilla Pete, Ook and Eek, the Gorilla Twins. Where did Mr. Burns dig up all these old wrestlers?" Lisa asked as they wait in line.

"The Planet of the Apes!" Oscar said dramatically.

Everyone groaned exasperated.

"You damn dirty apes!" Oscar ranted.

"Why did I stumble into that one..." Lisa groaned.

"Apparently, old folks homes are full of people that used to be things. Just like you and me." said Homer. "Swear to God."

...

Inside the arena.

The match is about to start.

"Welcome, aficionados of the roped ring, to a thrilling night of senior-on-senior action!" said Mr Burns as the announcer hosting the match.

TWo old wrestlers were fighting and grappling.

(grunting) They're grappling but one gets tired.

(snoring) He falls asleep... Well they're old men...

(grunting grows weaker) The other holding his sleeping opponent in a half Nelson, or sleeper hold, which would be really ironic... was getting tired.

(both snoring) They're both sleeping.

(all snoring) The referee tries to wake them but falls asleep on them.

(crowd cheering) These people are easily pleased...

"Folding chairs! Folding chairs! Can't hit somebody when they're not looking without a folding chair!" a folding chair vendor is handing out folding chairs.

"Can I have one? Can I?" Bart asked.

"Fine." Marge sighed.

"Ha!" Bart got a folding chair.

"And now our main event. In this corner, Baby Face Palooka." there was an old wrestler as Mr Burns announced him. "And entering the ring, America's original vainglorious bastard, Glamorous Godfrey!" said arm Burns as Baroque music played as a royal carriage pulled up and Georgian footmen helped Abe as Glamorous Godfrey out. He preened and showed off as everyone booed and jeered. (crowd booing)

"Yes, feel the hatred. It makes you strong, powerful, alive." said Mr Burns. That really needed Palpatine's Let the hate flow through you! line...

"You are the luckiest people in the world! You get to look at me!" said Glamorous Godfrey

(booing continues) So Godfrey puffed giant beauty powder puffs at them sending face powder everywhere. (crowd coughing)

(crowd booing) They booed once their lungs cleared.

"You show 'em, Godfrey! You're the prettiest old man in the world!" Bart cheered.

"Why do you think bad guys are so cool?" Lisa groaned.

"Why do you still have a thing for Nelson?" Bart retorted. Omg! It's canon!

"I'm not! That's ridiculous! I just... it's that... (Nelson is eating an ice cream sandwich and then shoves it up his sleeve like a hidden packet of cigarettes.) he, uh... He's a rebel, and only I can change him!" Lisa was flustered.

Bart grinned smugly.

"I admit Dark Oscar has snazzier clothes than me..." said Oscar.

(clang) the bell rings.

(crowd clamoring, booing) people jeer because Glamorous Godfrey was posing for a painting while Palooka rants with the referee annoyed at his antics. Abe grabs the painting the artist painted for him and smacked Baby face Palooka on the head with it, knocking him out.

(crowd shouting) Everyone jeers.

"It's so sad that Grampa has to cheat instead of relying on his God-given wrestling skills." Marge sighed. "What kind of person revels in disapproval?"

"What kind of person, indeed." said Bart evilly...

Dun dun dun!

Plot 4

Little Isotopes/Isotots playing baseball. That's Bart's team.

(baroque orchestral music playing)

"It's the prettiest boy in Springfield, Bart Simpson!" said Milhouse as Bart arrived dressed up and wearing Kanye West Venetian Blinds shades.

(indistinct chatter)

"What's going on?" Homer asked.

"You are the luckiest people in the world! You get to look at me!" said Bart being vain. (crowd booing) He sprayed perfume at them.

He batted improperly and ran.

"Hey!" The coach who stands by the batter to count them out yelled.

(grunts) Bart tripped a fielder. (humming)

(coughs) And sprayed pink baby powder at a fielder trying to get him out. The boy coughed and spluttered on the powder.

(booing continues)

"Hey, Simpson, tell your kid to quit showboating." Kirk yelled.

"Shut up!" Homer yelled.

"I've never seen anyone so full of self-regard! And I've worked with Bob Balaban!" said Sideshow Mel.

(booing continues)

At the Simpson house, in the kitchen. Marge and Homer are not happy with Bart.

"Your behavior at that game was unacceptable! You're lucky they gave you your participant trophy!" Marge scolded Bart. He had a big trophy.

"I got one just for watching the game." said Lisa holding a small trophy.

"Listen, getting people riled up is what heels do." said Bart.

"Heel? Oh, no. Tell me you're not trying to be like Grampa!" Homer groaned.

"Well, sure I am. I always thought Grampa was lame, but he's really awesome!" said Bart.

"Your grandfather is super lame! I mean, if he wasn't a terrible father, what's my excuse for this?" Homer was annoyed he had no excuse for being horrible. (grunting) He poked a wine box with a knife and gulped down the wine from it.

"I know your grandpa seems exciting now, but all that preening and cheating- those turnbuckle antics are not gonna make him happy." said Marge.

...

Mr Burns's office.

(Grampa and Burns sigh) "Burnsy, I can't remember the last time I was so happy!" said Abe. As they had massages.

"More caviar Abe?" Mr Burns offered him caviar.

Smithers sighed. "A few months ago you hated each other..."

Homer stormed in. "You grandson- ruining fiend! Look what your number one fan did at show-and-tell!"

On his Mypad. (Bart giggling) Bart laughed as he smacked Martin's robot buddy C.H.U.M with a metal fold up chair and attacked it.

"Wait. Ow. Ah. Wait." the robot cried.

"Gahahahaha! He's beating up Martin's lame robot..." Oscar laughed.

"Who would film such a thing?" Mr Burns asked acting shocked.

"It's found footage!" Homer snapped.

"So what? We could use another winner in this family!" said Abe.

"How are you a winner? You're cheating in a fake sport." Homer ranted.

"Fake? Ridiculous. If professional wrestling were fake, that would make every fan in the history of the sport a complete and utter moron." said Mr Burns. "Oh."

"Yeah sure... Mankind didn't really lose his ear in a fake match..." said Oscar.

"Mercy!" Martin's robot cried as Bart attacked it with wrestling moves.

Mr Burns had an idea. "You know, I've always had a keen eye for tiny talent. Perhaps you and the lad could tag-team up."

"Wrestle with Bart? Well, he ain't beefy, but he is infuriating, and you can't teach infuriating. Monty, you're a genius!" said Abe.

"Bart cannot be an old-time wrestler!" Homer snapped. "As your inattentive son, and your incompetent employee, I forbid it!"

There's a poster of Abe as Glamorous Godfrey and Bart wearing a wig taking part in a wrestling match that was coming up.

"Oh, why does everything I forbid always happen?" Homer whined.

Oscar laughed. "I hope you get undermined more often...

Homer seethed.

Oscar chuckled and headed off to the arcade.

...

Getting ready for their fight.

"So, Beautiful, you got your moves memorized?" Grampa as Godfrey asked.

"You know it, Glamorous! Eye gouge! Ear bite! (Mmmmmm... Mike Tyson...) Folding chair! Hair pull! Face-fart! Flying face-fart! And then I start fighting dirty." said Bart laughing evilly.

(laughs) "They're gonna hate you so much." Grampa chuckled. Marge arrived probably to interfere... "Oh, I get it. You're here to tell the kid he can't wrestle with his grandpa." said Abe to Marge.

(grunting) Bart smacks a dummy with a folding chair.

"I don't care if Bart is a wrestler, a busboy, or even a stoplight squeegee man, as long as he's a nice person. But if he gets too much attention for acting bad, he might turn bad on the inside." Marge explained.

"Eh, that's women-talk. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to comb out my curls! One... two... three..." Grampa was brushing his wig.

(crowd cheering in distance) Glamorous Godfrey and Beautiful Bart are in the tunnel heading to the ring.

"Beautiful Bart, can I have your autograph?" A boy asked wanting his autograph.

"Sure. Here you go." said Bart squeezing his nose and squirting a snot rocket into the autograph book. That wasn't him hawking a loogie, that was a snot rocket. Bart laughed evilly as he handed the book back.

"Em Beautiful... how about saving some of that bad attitude for the ring..." Grampa was worried.

"The world is my ring now... Gahahahaha!" Bart laughed maniacally.

Grampa was worried.

The match.

"In this corner, for truth and justice, Captain Flag and Half-Mast." said Mr Burns there was a duo of patriotic wrestlers.

(crowd cheering)

(Baroque orchestral music)

"Now entering the ring, the first family of foul play, Glamorous Godfrey and Beautiful Bart!" said Mr Burns.

(crowd booing)

(sniffing) Bart sniffs "You all stink!" He sprayed perfume at them.

(crowd shouting)

"My eyes!" A man yelled.

"The goggles do nothing..." Oscar added. Hehehe... this show is so quotable...

...

The bell rang.

Bart cheated and fought dirty by biting, doing the "Stop hitting yourself!" And face farts and flying face farts.

"Hey I thought we agreed no face farts, flying face farts or Brazilian hardwood..." Erik, his fifth grader friend from Moms I'd Like to Forget whined.

"I'm bad now! Mwuhahahaha!" Bart laughed evilly.

(Michael Jackson's Bad) Yes Michael Jackson's bad plays as Glamorous Godfrey and Beautiful Bart fight dirty and cheat.

Bart laughed maniacally as he fought dirty and unfairly. Marge looked worried. "Please Abe..."

Bart whacked Half Mast with a steel folding chair and laughed.

"Good... Good... Let the hate flow through you!" said Darth Sidious.

"Smithers who is that delightfully evil fellow?" Mr Burns asked smiling.

"That's Darth Sidious, sir. He's your ten o'clock tomorrow." said Smithers.

Glamorous Godfrey could see Marge pleading. Bart was enjoying being evil too much.

Bart had Half Mast in a painful lock.

"Glamorous Godfrey is dead!" said Grampa taking off his wig,

(all gasp) (crowd murmuring)

"I am Honest Abe!" Abe put on a top hat and Lincoln beard.

"The south shall rise again!" said Homer in his gay southern Lincoln voice.

"Oh shut up Homer! Get your historical facts right..." Abe sighed.

(all gasp)

"And this is Laddie Liberty!" Abe took off Bart's wig and put a lady liberty crown on him and gave him a torch.

"What are you doing?" Bart asked.

"I ain't a heel no more, I'm a good guy. And you're a baby-face." said Grampa.

"But-but what about the cheating?" Bart stammered.

"No more cheating." said Abe.

"And the preening?" Bart whined.

"No more preening." Grampa explained.

"But I'm so pretty." said Bart.

"Ha! Gaaaaaaaay!" SeƱor Chang yelled from somewhere.

Hugo winced.

"That's for others to say now." said Grampa.
...

"What are you doing, Godfrey? You're a villain, not some bullet-brained rail-splitter. Without someone to hate, there's no excitement, no thrill." Mr Burns ranted angrily.

"I don't care. My grandson's soul is at stake." said Grampa.

"Bwuhahahaha!" Satan laughed maniacally. Bart winced.

"How dare you. I wrote a song for you. When am I ever going to use that again? Curse you, and this morbidly obese little half-wit." Mr Burns ranted. His big mistake was calling Bart's morbidly obese half wit.

"So, they only want to see a good guy fight a bad guy, eh?" said Abe.

He grabbed Mr Burns and spun him about over head like a helicopter.

"Or Monkey Hero spinning his staff..." said Oscar.

Then he pile drives Mr Burns.

(Everyone gasps.)

"Bart! Ugh... Will you join my side for old times sake, my heir? And fight for evil?" Mr Burns coughed and spluttered as Abe fell onto him in an elbow drop.

"No. I'm a Jedi, like my Grampa before me." said Bart.

Bart then smacked him with a steel chair.

"He's taking on Mean Man Monty!" Homer gasped.

"Go get him, Honest Abe!" Marge cheered.

"This is why we go to everything in this town- it always pays off." said Snake.

(gasps)

"Honest Abe, can I pin him?" Bart asked his Grampa.

"Ha-ha! You know it, Laddie Liberty!" said Grampa.

(grunting) Bart pinned Mr Burns.

The bell rings (crowd cheering)

"Damndest boos I ever heard." said Abe smiling.

"They're cheering, Grampa." said Bart.

"This is what I've been missing my whole life." said Grampa.

(cheering continues)

"Oh, that was so sweet." said Marge.

(sobbing softly) "I wish Grampa was my dad." Homer said rubbing his eyes because of tears. Homer are you brain dead or moronic or something?!

Oscar shrugged.

...

The episode draws to a close with the Simpsons all happy and loving in the kitchen.

"I wonder where Bart and Grampa are?" Marge asks.

Up in Bart's room, Bart and Grampa are playing by "Play wresting". Hehehe. Cute.

Then we end on a stinger cliffhanger as we peer into Bart's treehouse as wrestling style cliffhanger music plays and it lights up to show a steal chair. Yes a steel chair. That's stupid and pointless! It should have been a shady new character! Or a vengeful Mr Burns! Or an old or one off character returning! Damn you Matt!

The end!