"There you are you stupid, insolent child! Do you really think that you can hide away here? Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Your Mother storms into the Precinct screaming loudly, causing you to flinch slightly before schooling your features and glancing around the room. The other Detectives stare at you with a mixture of pity and indifference and you can see Amanda, one of your closest friends getting ready to go up and offer you some comfort. You signal to Amanda not to come any closer; you know it'll only make things worse for you later on. You let out a grunt when your Mom pulls you by your hair and drags you into the closest interrogation room, throwing you down hard onto the chair.
"Y/N you may think that you're something special, but you're not! You're stupid, you're weak and you're pathetic. My life would be so much better without you in it!" Your Mom pointed her finger right in your face, jabbing you so hard that she pushed you off the chair. You fall off with a resounding thud, numbly sitting there because you don't have the energy or the will to fight back; she had verbally and physically beaten that out of you a long time ago. You didn't dare cry or show an ounce of weakness; you remember the last time you had cried to her as a 7 year old little girl when you had grazed your knees, she had picked you up and had thrown you across the room. She'd broken your arm that day and had said to you the same phrase that circled through your brain every single time you went to shed even a single tear.
"No one has time for your tears, suck it up!"
That phrase is all that's going through your mind and suddenly you feel yourself getting pulled up by your shirt, getting roughly shaken by the one woman who was always supposed to protect you and keep you safe.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you! Honestly, you've been more trouble than it's worth... just look at you Y/N... ugly, pathetic and fat too! Why can't you be more like your brother and sister? I love them but you..." she trailed off as though she couldn't bare to look at you, as though she hated you. Your eyes sting with tears but you swallow them down, just as you've always been told to do.
"Please Mom... please just stop; I'm so tired." You whisper and she drops you on the floor, grabbing your hair again and marching you out of the interrogation room. You find yourself flopping like a rag doll, you're just so exhausted and you feel so heavy... trying to keep this all in was so tiring. You begin to give up, you've accepted that this is your life now until you hear a sudden boom.
"Just what do you think you're doing to MY Detective? Get your hands off of her now. How dare you touch her!" Olivia's voice could be heard echoing throughout the entire precinct and everyone stared at you, you felt like you were an exhibition and your eyes dart around the room.
"Liv..." you choke out quietly, your body shaking violently whilst trying to suppress so many years of emotions. She runs over to you and pulls you away from the woman who's tormented you your whole life, standing in front of you and protecting you from all the stares and gossip.
"You are her Mom how dare you treat her like this? She's a little girl... barely 19 years old! What is wrong with you?" Olivia demanded, wanting nothing more than to pull you into her arms for a huge hug. The only thing stopping her was how guarded you normally are and she glances down at you, gently smoothing your hair away from your face.
"She can't do anything right. Just look at her... how pathetic!" Your Mom sneers and you quietly sniffle, trying so desperately to blink back the tears that are fighting for release. Olivia wraps her arm around you protectively and you bite down on your lip, Olivia can hear your quiet sniffles and it's breaking her heart.
"Y/N go and wait in my office, Amanda can you go with her and make her a warm drink? Thank you." Olivia gently handed you to Amanda who wrapped you up in a quick hug, quickly letting go of you when you stiffen up.
"Come here sweetheart," Amanda whispered and gently took you to Olivia's office, quickly making you a hot chocolate, your favourite drink. You slowly take it from her and nod your thanks, not quite trusting yourself to speak. You flinch slightly when you hear Olivia shouting at your Mom but you also feel so safe, she's always cared about you and respected you.
"Do you want me to stay or would you like some space, darlin?" Amanda crooned and you blink back tears all over again, all you want is to feel safe. However you can't bring yourself to except any of the comfort that is being offered.
"I think I'd like some space Manda... thank you for offering though..." you smile bravely up at her and she frowns; it's obvious that you're falling apart completely but she figures that maybe Olivia is the best person to get through to you, after all she's helped every other Detective in this Precinct. You bring your knees up to your chest and bury your face in them, refusing to engage with Amanda anymore. She leaves Olivia's office and approaches her, sending your Mom death glares as she's hauled out in cuffs.
"That little girl needs you, Liv." Amanda speaks in a low hushed voice, gently pulling Olivia by her arm and into a secluded corner where they could talk in private. Olivia nodded firmly and gently lifted her hand to rub up and down Amanda's arm soothingly, she was also worried about you.
"I know Amanda, don't worry. I'm going to look after her... Y/N is going to be ok, I'll make sure of it." Olivia whispered softly, a maternal fire in her eyes when she thinks back to how you were treated. She was going to protect you even if it's the last thing the does.
Around two hours had gone by and you were sat in Olivia's office, gently rocking yourself back and forth. You try to stop the feelings that were overwhelming your small body, however it wasn't as easy to do this time around. You laughed bitterly, only stopping when you hear the door creak open and smell the Miss Dior perfume wafting around the room.
"Hey honey can I sit with you?" Olivia cooed lovingly, not making a single move until you lift your gaze to meet hers. Slowly but surely you feel your defences weakening and you nod your head, letting out a few sniffles.
"Sure, it's your office Liv. You can sit where you want." You say softly and she sits beside you, resting her hand on your back and rubbing soothing circles. You let out a small sigh, you feel so conflicted because this feels so nice, warm and safe but yet you feel like you're waiting for Olivia to shout at you, the way your own Mom did. The more Olivia keeps rubbing your back, the more emotional you seem to get and soon you're in floods of tears.
"Y/N... oh sweetheart, come here... it's ok my love, you're safe now." Olivia cooed and when you made no effort to cuddle her or accept her comfort, she just lifted you up and plonked you onto her lap. You sit there in shock; no one has ever cuddled you in such an intimate, loving and protective way before. She pulls you against her and rocks to and fro, gently stroking your hair when you stiffen your body.
"It's ok, you can cry baby. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you're only a little girl who's had to be so brave for so long! Hide your face here, sweet girl. There we go, just let it all go." Olivia held your face to her chest and soon you have your arms wrapped around her.
"Liv it hurts... she's never loved me, she's never cared about me! What did I do wrong? I was so good... I got good grades, I played sports, I did my chores... I graduated early even!" You sob even more and Olivia kisses you all over and you're so overcome with affection that you press a childlike kiss to her lips which she excepts with a smile, a gentle kiss of her own and affectionate nuzzles to your nose with her own.
"You did nothing wrong, young lady. You are kind, beautiful, smart, brave and important... you matter to me, Y/N. I'm so sorry that she's put you through this, you didn't deserve any of it. You're not pathetic, baby." Olivia peppered you with kisses and you sink into her embrace, allowing yourself to be comforted for the first time in years. She cradles you as though you're an infant, taking your whole weight in her arms as though you weigh nothing.
"She hurt me and she's gonna kick me out Liv! Where am I gonna go?" Your voice rises with each panicked syllable and you bury your face into her chest, clinging to her so tightly that your knuckles turn white. Olivia shushes you softly and wipes your tears away with her thumb, she reaches behind you and wraps you up in a warm blanket.
"You're coming home with me, love. You can stay with me for as long as you need to, you have a family here who loves you so much. Your Mom will never get to you again; she's been arrested for assault and harassment, I won't let her hurt you again." Olivia soothes softly, rocking you gently when you cry and snuggle in even closer to her.
"I want to feel safe, Liv. I just need cuddles, love and affection; no one's ever hugged me before. It feels nice when you hug me, I wish you were my Mama... I would've always felt safe then!" You cling to her like a child and Olivia picks you up, settling you on her hip as though you really were her baby. It brings tears to your eyes and you twirl your fingers in her hair, finding even more comfort in the childlike gesture.
"Shhh it's ok, you're safe now with me. I'm always going to be here to protect you and look after you, I won't let you go through what you've been through again... it's ok to cry, you don't have to hide from me. Mama's here sweet girl, yeah that's right Mama's here." She cooed lovingly and stroked your hair, the motherly gesture making your stomach knot.
"Mama?" You whisper hesitantly as though you're testing the name out and Olivia smiles lovingly at you. She carries you out of her office, gently bouncing you in her arms with a surprising amount of strength.
"That's right honey, Mama's here. I'm going to look after you and keep you safe, let's get you home." Olivia carries you out of the Precinct and to her car, whispering sweet nothings when you wrap your legs around her waist and bury your face into her shoulder.
"There we go sweetheart, let's get you all buckled in. You're being so brave and I'm so proud of you..." she puts you down and does your seatbelt up for you, quickly getting herself in and drives out of the parking lot.
"My chest hurts Mama..." you whisper and gently rub it, allowing Olivia to place a quick kiss to your face when you stop at a red light. She puts the car into neutral and looks at you with so much love that all you want to do is climb into her lap and soak up all the affection that you've not had up until this point.
"I know baby, we are going to talk more about this when we get home. You're being such a brave girl and everything is going to be ok." Olivia soothed, quickly putting her car back into drive and putting her foot on the gas. All she could think about was getting you home and keeping you safe.
An hour or so had gone by and you found yourself tucked up on Olivia's lap after a shower and having your hair braided by her too. Your hand reached up hesitantly to play with her hair and she leaned back slightly so that you were cuddled into her chest.
"Has it always been like this between you and your Mom, baby?" Olivia spoke softly, nuzzling your nose with hers when you looked up at her. You felt like someone had turned a tap on your emotions and you burst into tears, hiding your face from Olivia so that she wouldn't see you cry. She tightened her arms around you and pulled you in closer, gently reprimanding you when she felt your body shake because you were so desperate to keep it together.
"Stop that right now, young lady. I know exactly what you're doing and it stops now, you need to feel your emotions and tell Mama what's going on. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up like this..." Olivia chided you and pressed so many kisses to your cheeks that you found yourself giggling slightly.
"She's been so hard on me my whole life, I don't remember ever getting a kind word from her, she used to lock me in closets and turn the light off because she knew I was scared of the dark..." You bite your lip and she pulls you in tighter, gently rocking you back and forth and cooing to you as though you're still that little girl who was locked in there.
"Shhh it's ok, yeah... you're ok. It's ok, sweetheart. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, you're safe here with Mama. Did she starve you too? I've noticed that sometimes you don't eat properly..." Olivia stroked the tears away from your face and nodded that yes, your Mom had starved you. A warmth spread through you when Olivia growled, a low primal growl that showed how much you meant to her. She stood up and kept you on her hip, making her way to the kitchen and fixing you up with a big bowl of tortilla chips with different dips and a can of soda. She tried to carry all of that and you back to the sofa but in the end she admitted defeat and put you down, staying right by your side until you were back on the sofa wrapped up safe in her arms and nibbling on some tortilla chips and guacamole.
"She also told me that I couldn't cry... that only babies cried. When I was 7 years old, I fell over and grazed my knee and so I went in crying to her and..." you wipe your eyes and put down the food, trying to find the courage to say what she had done to you next.
"It's ok, my sweet girl. You can tell Mommy anything, I'm here... I'm listening." Olivia cooed and kissed your forehead, pulling you tight to her chest and smoothing your hair. You take a deep breath and tighten your grip on her sweatshirt, you just want to be with your safe place.
"She picked me up and threw me across the room and broke my arm, she told me not to cry and that nobody cared about me. She didn't even take me to the ER, she made my brother who was 20 years old at the time take me. I told the nurses that I fell down the stairs... I'm sorry Mama! I didn't mean to..." you cry out and Olivia feels tears well up in her own eyes.
"You did nothing wrong Y/N, do you hear me? I want you to promise me something, never ever hold your feelings in ok? It's more than ok for you to cry and to talk to me about your feelings. That's what a parent does, Y/N. They are there for you through all the good times, the bad times and everything else in between. You're so loved and wanted baby and I'm so sorry that no one said that to you." Olivia kissed your cheeks and shifted you both so that you were comfortable and you close your eyes, your arms wrapping themselves around her neck.
"Can I really stay here? I've got nothing with me and..." You trail off when Olivia shushes you with a quick maternal kiss to your lips and gathers you up so that she can walk with you. She heads for the guest room and opens the door, inside there was the biggest most comfortable bed that you'd ever seen. It instantly made you sleepy and Olivia tucked you up into bed, quickly climbing in beside you.
"This is your room honey, we can go back to your Mom's place and get all your stuff or I can buy you all new stuff if you'd like. But for the meantime I have a spare toothbrush, clothes for you to wear and enough food for you to eat. Those are your immediate needs taken care of." Olivia whispered, gathering you into her arms when you look like you're about to doze off. Before you do, she whispers soothingly in your ear and your heart fills with even more love.
"Just let Mama take all the worries and pain away, my sweet girl. You're safe with me and you never ever have to question that again. There we go, get some rest because you must be exhausted." She croons lovingly and you fall asleep feeling so loved, cared for and safe for the first time in such a long time. You knew that with Mama Liv by your side that everything would be ok.
