Disclaimer: Don't own

AN: Written for Kingxuppu on the Miraculous Fanworks discord.

AN2: Divergent after season 4

With hindsight, he really should have seen this coming. He was used to the press. Used to the way sensationalist reporters could and would blow up something out of nothing. And it was nothing.

Still, being seen eating lunch with a beautiful girl like Juleka was bound to spur more than a few unjustified rumours. The fact that Juleka was a lesbian didn't matter to the gutter press. The fact that Adrien was uninterested in Juleka like that didn't matter. The fact that Juleka's girlfriend was only a couple of metres away didn't matter.

No, all that mattered was that they had their story, no matter how true it was.

At least it wasn't with Lila Rossi. Now THAT was a can of worms he NEVER wanted to see. Ever. (He had a sneaking suspicion that was the reason his father had sent Lila to Italy.) And at least Juleka wouldn't play it up anywhere near as much.

So when his partner and friend (but not girlfriend. She had made that boundary clear and he was going to respect it. For some reason, Marinette had turned red and groaned into Alya's shoulders straight afterwards. And Alya seemed to find the whole situation hilarious.) showed up for patrol with the latest copy of some tabloid in her hands, he was surprised.

"What," she practically growled as she shoved said tabloid in his face, "is this?"

Chat blinked and stared at the picture for a few moments.

"She has a girlfriend you know!?! A girlfriend that she loves. And who loves her. And I don't want drama on my team."

"It's okay Bugaboo," Chat said, holding up his hands. "Nothing happened. We were just having lunch after a long shoot and some trashy paparazzi took that picture. It's nothing. Just the usual tabloid story that isn't true. You can even ask Rose!"

Ladybug visibly relaxed, far more so than Chat expected. Surely she wasn't that worried about drama on her team? (A small part of him hoped that it was something more, but there was no way that he was that lucky. There was no way that Ladybug/Marinette had romantic feelings for him or Adrien Agreste. He would know after all, right? Right? He wasn't THAT oblivious. And Marinette HAD said that they were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.)

"Father has insisted that we have lunch together for the next couple of weeks," he added. "He thinks that the added PR is going to be good for the spring line up." Ladybug tensed and Chat raised his hands quickly. "You can even come along and watch if you like."

Ladybug appeared to cheer up at that and Adrien felt his heart lift. It would be nice seeing his very good friend Marinette at the shoot. (Even though a small part of him did want it to be more. But no, Marinette HAD said that they were just friends.)

"Thanks Kitty," she said with a smile. With a practiced swing of her yo-yo, she leapt into the night. Chat grinned and leapt after her.

MLMLMLMLMLML

"Oh that's not a problem. Juleka and I are thinking of adding a third person to our relationship!"

Marinette stared at her friend Rose in shock and Rose continued.

"We're thinking of making a polycule with Adrien," she continued, blithely unaware of Marinette's internal freak out.

"A-A-Adrien!?!" she managed to squeak out and Rose nodded happily.

"Yes, of course!" she said cheerfully. "He's charming and sweet and kind and he would make a great father for our children and we don't want to use an uninvolved donor and as you're not interested in him and Juleka works with him, he's perfect. And he deserves someone special, so why not have two people?"

"Children!?!" Marinette said and Rose blushed slightly.

"Well not yet…but it's something that we want to have in the future!" she said brightly and Marinette internally groaned. This was firmly, in her opinion, her own fault.

Oh who was she kidding? It was ENTIRELY her own fault. SHE was the one who had somehow managed to friend zone herself during the big reveal. (Something Alya had laughed mercilessly about and even Tikki thought that it was one of the stupidest things she'd ever seen.) And Adrien was sweet and handsome and kind. No wonder Juleka and Rose thought he should join them. And…well they didn't know that she was still in love with him…

"Anyway, because Juleka and Chat are two cats, Miraculously speaking, we thought that it would be a good idea for her to bring him onboard."

Marinette stood speechless as she tried desperately to think of reasons why it would be a bad idea.

"But…what about…surely you…"

"We've talked about this a lot!" Rose said cheerfully as Marinette flailed about. "We're prepared for just about every possible scenario we can think of. And obviously we couldn't just bring Adrien to the same level of intimacy between us right away." She blushed and smiled. "Juleka and I have a special bond and it's going to take time for Adrien to become a part of it. But I think we can do it together and so does Juleka!"

Marinette considered asking Tikki if it was possible to undo the creation of polygamy. (Or at least a long talk about how it was completely destroying her future love life and how she was going to end up all alone with fifteen hamsters because of it! She was going to become the hamster equivalent of a crazy cat lady and Emma and Louis and Hugo would never exist and her happily ever after with Adrien would never happen and-)

"Right…" Marinette said as she felt her brain slowly come back online.

"Anyway , Juleka and I were wondering if you had any tips about what Adrien would like?"

"WHAT!?!"

"Well as you've been working with Adrien for the longest, we thought that you would know him better than anyone," Rose said, ignoring Marinette's minor freak out. "Not to mention all of the preparations you made in Collège Fransçoise Dupont that you never ended up using. You're the perfect person to ask."

Marinette felt her eyebrow twitch slightly. The universe was having a long hard laugh at her expense. (Or at Tikki was. Her Kwami was deceptively sweet.)

"Oh, look at the time!" Marinette said quickly, jumping back and reverse somersaulting over nothing at all. ""I've got to get going or I'll be late for…Alya! Yes, meeting Alya! Bye Tose, I mean Rose!"

As Marinette ran away, a smirking Rose pulled out her phone.

MLMLMLMLMLML

Ladybug was not as subtle as she thought, Adrien thought to himself as he sat down to lunch. And judging by the way Juleka had glanced up, he was not the only person who had noticed her dangling above them.

It was ridiculous really. When he had invited Ladybug to come along, he had expected her to come as Marinette. Indiscreet, normal and expected. The red and black spotted hero hanging above them was the very antithesis of indiscreet.

Actually he suspected that the only way she could stand out more was if she added flashing neon lights to the mix.

He grinned. She seemed to think she was being discreet…

He leaned towards Juleka.

"I don't want to alarm you, but I think this place is bugged," he said with a shit-eating grin on his face.

An indistinct sound came from above and he grinned. Juleka gave him a small smile and he continued.

"It's a really good place to get out of your shell." More indistinct noises. "Not really the place to get spotted. It's not going to put you in the red at least."

At this point, he could practically see her eye twitching. Well imagine it at least.

Juleka smiled and leaned forward. She gently began to scratch his chin and Adrien let out a small purr of joy. The way and the place she was scratching him was just…purr-fect. If they had been in a less public place, he would have purred louder. Juleka was a better actress than he had suspected. She was really leaning into the pretext his father wanted.

(He could hear Ladybug grinding her teeth above them, which was weird. She HAD said that they were both just friends and that they shouldn't date.)

"I know that you and Marinette are just friends, but I bet if we kissed right now, we'd have to fight an akuma," Juleka said with an uncharacteristically wicked smile. Adrien nodded.

"Yeah…she's really invested in your relationship with Rose," he said and Juleka smirked.

"Yes she's very interested," she said with a barely suppressed grin and she began gently scratching under his chin once more. Adrien closed his eyes and let out a happy sigh.

As their food arrived, Juleka stopped and the two of them began eating.

"So…how did Rose take the news about…" He gestured between them with his fork, before putting his hand behind his head in embarrassment.

"Oh she thinks that we should start a pol-"

She was abruptly cut off by Ladybug falling onto their table, sending food flying everywhere.

"Oh look, an akuma!" she said as she picked herself up and brushed herself off. Adrien stood up, looking around in concern.

"An akuma!?! Where!?!" he asked, desperately looking around to spot the akuma. Juleka smirked as she looked at Ladybug with a knowing expression. Ladybug glared back and grabbed Adrien, pulling him into a bridal style hold.

"Maybe you should bring Juleka along as well?" Adrien suggested as Juleka stood up.

"Yeah, you could have me sit in his lap," she said with a smirk and Ladybug glared. "Adrien and I had to do that once for a photo shoot. It took ages for us to get the pose right. And we were in revealing summer clothes pretending to be a couple…"

Ladybug's yo-yo shot out into the distance and the couple flew off into the distance. Juleka smirked and pulled out her phone.

MLMLMLMLMLML

"Wait, what about Juleka? If there's an akuma, we should-"

"It's for her own safety," Ladybug said abruptly and Adrien looked at her puzzled.

"I…"

"Look, it's better that we go in separate directions," Ladybug continued, quickly cutting him off. "That way the akuma doesn't get everyone at once."

"But-"

"Don't worry, I'm sure that Juleka will be fine," she added brusquely. "She's not a child and she's capable of getting away on her own."

"I hope she can find somewhere to transform," Adrien said wistfully.

"She'll be fine," Ladybug said abruptly as they continued to swing through the air. "She's really good at disappearing when she wants to."

Adrien frowned, but said nothing. He had absolute trust in his Lady. If she was absolutely certain that Juleka would be okay, then he trusted her judgement. It just…felt a little off for some reason.

As they landed in his room, she deposited him on his sofa.

"So…what's the akuma this time, mi'lady?" he asked, jumping to his feet and Ladybug looked away embarrassed.

"I.. I just wanted to save you from that awkward situation! As your friend! And Juleka's friend!" she said with an odd smile that Adrien couldn't read.

"Oh don't worry about it Ladybug. Juleka and I have to put on an act. Apparently there are some people who think that I'm gay" Ladybug let out a strange eeep sound at that. "So my father wants me to be seen with a girl and Juleka agreed to be that girl after we were spotted.

Ladybug's eyebrow twitched slightly at that.

"And because she already has a girlfriend, it's never going to be a problem when it's over." Ladybug's eyebrow twitched a bit more and Adrien put his hand behind his head. "It's not like it's someone like Lila," he added with a shudder.

"Hey, since I accidentally interrupted your…act with Juleka…do you want to get some pastries together?" she asked and Adrien nodded with his million watt smile.

"I'd love to. Especially with you," he said and Ladybug actually blushed. Which was odd, because he knew that she was just a friend. She had said that she saw him as just a friend.

That didn't mean he didn't hope that maybe, just maybe, she wanted something more.

Their phones pinged at the same time. They both looked at their newly received messages.

Staring out at them was a picture of Rose and Juleka cuddling one another at the cafe they had just left, along with a message.

"Have fun on your date lovebirds," they wrote, along with a winking emoji.

Adrien let out an embarrassed chuckle and Ladybug eeeped. It was…kind of cute really.

Dropping her transformation, the couple walked out of the mansion and towards the Dupain-Cheng Bakery.

AN: This one fought me a lot towards the end. And yes, I did borrow the idea of Marinette friend zoning herself from RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley on fanfiction dot net. Go check out her work, she's very good.