Author's Note: Sorry this is on the shorter side; it was initially the first of two scenes, but if I waited on the second scene to be finished, I feel like this would never be posted. As always, A:TLA-compliant but completely independent of LoK/comics.

I realize updates are seldom, but I promise I will never abandon this. Life is just so very busy, but I'll never not update this


Every Impossible Thing

Chapter 5: Everything Between

What do I do? seemed to be the question on Aang's mind as of late.

To Roku, he asked, What do I do? To himself, he asked, What do I do? It was also the question he would have asked Yangchen, Kyoshi, or Kuruk, had he dared. Four words, so deceptively simple. Four words that only seemed to beg more and more questions as his deliberation waxed on.

Sitting before his friend at the end of a long day, Aang asked the question again, for what seemed like the thousandth time.

He didn't need to specify what he was asking about. These last weeks had been about little else. Neither of them could escape the burgeoning pressure from advisors, council members, foreign emissaries, and what seemed like every class of government official who could possibly be involved.

It was almost commendable to see the representatives, from Zuko's administration to those of foreign governments, agree so synchronously. Objection to the Avatar marrying – as expediently as possible, no matter his personal inclinations – came chiefly from Zuko. The fine points came under debate, but it never seemed to occur to anyone else that the Avatar was also a person.

"What a headache," Zuko said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, peevishly regarding the headpiece at the edge of his desk. Unadorned, it was nothing but a paperweight. His disheveled hair hung loose down to his shoulders.

To Aang, he looked more like a friend than the absolute ruler of the Fire Nation. He almost said how much he liked seeing Zuko unguarded. It was like unfurling an old scroll that had been buried away. It had been too many years since they had been just Aang and Zuko. Teacher and student, simple friends unburdened by the reality of their importance to the world.

It drew out from Aang a deep sense of longing.

Too many years had passed since all his friends had been together, reunited in the same part of the world. Too long since anything felt right. Too long since he felt like himself and not the Avatar.

"Zuko," Aang said instead, straightening in his chair across from Zuko's desk. "What do you think?"

"I don't know, Aang. What do you think? You told Sedna you would consider it." Zuko sighed as he slumped deeper into his seat. He said, "Are you?"

Aang had agreed to consider what Zuko's council had advised, even if it felt like pitching himself off a cliff without a glider. "I don't know."

Truthfully, he was still weighing everything. The council, the airbenders, his own feelings. No matter how he worked through it, nothing made sense. No choice seemed like the right one.

"What do you want me to say, Aang?" Zuko asked, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"Tell me it's my only choice, Zuko. Or tell me not to do it. Just tell me something."

Aang knew he was searching for someone to make this decision for him – first Roku and now Zuko. His life would make so much more sense if only somebody else would take responsibility for it.

"Is that what you want?" Zuko swung the weight of his uneven stare to rest on Aang. "To allow total strangers to tell you how to live your life?"

"They tell you how to live yours," he bit back. It didn't matter that he sounded like a petulant child. Zuko didn't get to preach to him, not when every minuscule aspect of his own life was dissected like the fate of the world hinged upon it.

"I'm the Fire Lord, Aang," Zuko said, waving his hand dismissively between them.

"I'm the Avatar," he countered. "The rules are different for me too, Zuko."

Zuko sat up straighter, giving one short nod in acquiesce, as he reached for his headpiece. "Like I told Sedna, the Avatar has never been subject to these conditions before. It sets a dangerous precedent, Aang. You need to be careful."

That was something they agreed on at least. No matter what he decided, he had to tread carefully. What he did next would change everything.

"There is a lot to consider, if you agree to it," Zuko added.

Aang frowned as Zuko began to tie his hair back, smoothing it into a more organized state. As he secured his topknot, he sat fully upright, straightening his posture. He fastened the prong through to secure the headpiece. Like a mask sliding back into place, Zuko was once again hidden away beneath the Fire Lord's stoic veneer.

The Fire Lord folded his hands and regarded the Avatar.

"And a lot to consider if I don't," Aang countered, frowning. "Are...arrangements like this common?"

"Common enough," Zuko confirmed.

"It isn't our way, the Nomads didn't–" Aang hesitated. He looked beyond Zuko, to the empty stretch of wall behind him. "Why do it?"

"It varies, but I suppose bloodlines drive many marriages. Alliances between established families are invaluable, Aang. In every marriage, there is something to be gained. Power, wealth, standing–"

"What about love?" Aang interrupted. He couldn't bear to hear Zuko's list go on.

"That too, if the conditions are right." Aang saw the shadow cross Zuko's face. "These...agreements are more for the nobility, although they are sometimes practiced by the common classes."

Zuko frowned at his own wording, but added, "Everyone has their own reasons for marriage, Aang."

Well, he supposed that was true. Like Zuko said, he had observed the maneuvering of the Fire Nation's noble families in his time at the Fire Palace. At the heart of Zuko's court, he couldn't fail to see how children were bought and sold like market goods. Like some nobleman's son, wasn't he being hawked like precious merchandise? Wasn't he being traded away to secure a bloodline?

He wasn't so different, but he had more to lose.

"I didn't know it would be like this, Zuko. How do you handle it?"

"I'm used to expectations, Aang. I've lived my entire life in this world."

Aang felt his own pity for Zuko. For all he had endured as the Avatar, he had spent the first twelve years of his life among the Nomads. He couldn't even imagine the loneliness of growing up a prince in the Fire Nation. Always one step behind Ozai and Azula. Always aware of the eyes and ears in the palace; it was an existence without trust, without respite.

Aang did not want to live in that world.

As if plucking the thoughts from his mind, Zuko said, "But you can't always let them win."

He perked up in his seat. "Zuko?"

"You listen to what they say, Aang. But you can't allow them to control you. You're the Avatar."

Zuko's earlier words buzzed in his mind. There is a lot to consider. Zuko was right, of course. He was the Avatar. It was his decision – he could not allow himself to be guilted or bullied into their plans.

It didn't stop him from hoping, though, that the consequences of this choice could fall to someone else.

"What would the Fire Lord do? Would he allow a council to tell him who to marry?"

Zuko narrowed his yellow eyes. After a moment he answered resolutely, "No."

Aang had a feeling they were somehow talking about Katara now. They were usually more careful, always skirting around her, always polite and mindful. The weight of her presence sat between them like a canyon. They never acknowledged the depth or stretch it opened between them. They pretended the chasm wasn't there at all.

Between them now, it felt like her presence filled all the space in Zuko's office.

"Do you want something to blame me for?" Zuko asked gently, eyes drawn down.

Yes. No. Maybe.

"It's complicated," Aang settled on, wishing he'd never brought it up. Wishing Zuko had never put back on his headpiece. Wishing, illogically, his friend had left it at the edge of his desk like some inconsequential ornament.

What an empty, foolish thing to wish for.

"Everything is complicated," Zuko quietly agreed.