überteuerte Maschine

Blitzwing had never questioned his origins until today. He'd never felt the need to.

It felt stupid in hindsight, as did his whole life now.

There are two ways Cybertronians can be born: they can be forged or constructed cold. If you're forged, it means your spark emerged from either a titan's hot spot or the Well of the Allspark itself, where it was then dipped into a pool of liquid sentio metallico (or living metal colloquially), which stuck to the spark to then cool and set into your first, true frame. Forged bots were usually blessed with just the right kind of body for their spark, just the right size and joints that were neither too tight nor too loose. No two forged bots ever looked identical unless they were twins, and even then they had some difference between them.

If you were constructed cold, it meant your spark was created using Vector Sigma and the Allspark, then frozen into storage until it was needed, at which point it was put into a preconstructed, mass-produced frame meant for function above all else. This was an exceedingly common practice during the Cybertronian civil wars, in which army leaders would have stockpiles of sparks and empty frames in order to build a quick army whenever they needed to. Constructed cold bots were typically abandoned after their service, left to fare for themselves in an unfamiliar world without guidance. Constructed cold bots usually struggled with their frames since their sparks didn't quite take well to these pre-built walking guns. One joint was always too creaky, and those who were in real disrepair suffered from joints locking up, but thankfully replacement parts were easy to find for them.

Blitzwing apparently fit neither category.

He never had any memory of his creation, only waking up in a hospital berth on day and being asked his name. He didn't have a name back then. Pathetic. The name 'Blitzwing' was one he came up with on the spot after noticing his own wings and turret, no real thought went into it. He'd thought that was enough and the doctors would let him go, but apparently they had a few more questions for him. It was a long and extremely boring process that Blitzwing all but slept through, but what he could gather was that he had all the traits of a constructed cold bot, without actually being constructed cold. His armour plating was a cheap, artificial alloy, his joints were locked up tighter than a maximum-security prison and his spark showed all the same signs of displeasure that constructed bots had, but his frame didn't show up in any manufacturing records, and nobody had ever seen a bot even similar to him before.

Blitzwing didn't care about that though. It meant he was unique, one-of-a-kind. There was absolutely nobody out there who was like Blitzwing, because nobody could live up to the golden standard.

Clue number one.

Over time, Blitzwing was able to fix some of the problems with his frame. He had his armour plating completely replaced with a much sturdier alloy, standard for bots of his stature and vehicle modes, and he got a new, far cooler colour scheme while he was at it. His joints were similarly replaced and were kept well lubricated. However, there were some things that Blitzwing simply couldn't fix. There were the problems inherent with his design, like his jet mode being rather… unaerodynamic. That's not to say he couldn't keep up with the average flyer in terms of speed, but sharp mid-air turns and complex aerial manoeuvres were out of the question for Blitzwing. Fine. Whatever. Who needed fancy flight manoeuvres when you could drop out of the sky as a tank? Whatever.

Furthermore was Blitzwing's fuel intake. For whatever reason, he needed significantly more fuel than the average Decepticon to function. Blitzwing's comrades would usually ask him why he got significantly bigger rations than them, and Blitzwing would calmly explain the reason to them with help from Mr and Mrs Fist. It wasn't anyone's business why he needed more fuel. And he didn't care either.

He definitely cares now.

The third and most baffling problem with Blitzwing's body was his odd Transformation Cog. It was apparently unlike any that had been documented before. At first, Blitzwing assumed it was because those stupid doctors had never seen a triple changer like him before, but he soon learned what they meant. Blitzwing had the unfortunate and infuriating habit of getting stuck between modes while transforming. It hasn't got him killed (yet), but it's still infuriating, and even more frustrating was that every doctor he went to either had no idea how or outright refused to give him a T-Cog transplant because of its uniqueness, which meant his stupid transformation hiccoughs were something Blitzwing just had to live with.

But whatever. Even his problems made him an individual, he figured, and his individuality was something Blitzwing cherished almost as much as his sword. All of these kinks of his served to make him the one and only true Blitzwing, that nobody could ever copy.

Clue number two.

At some point during the war, some 3? 4 million years in? Blitzwing had lost track, the Decepticons encountered the Quintessons. Thought long dead, the Quintessons were the original rulers of Cybertron during its very first civilisation. They were oppressive rulers, sorting Cybertronian kind into manual labour or military service depending on their alt-mode, not unlike the Functionists. They had been driven away after their defeat in the Cybertron War of Independence and had faded into myth since. Or, at least until today. Naturally, all Decepticons present for this discovery were initially confused by the floating space eggs, and then quickly grew outraged when they realised who they had met.

All except for Blitzwing.

For some reason, Blitzwing felt an odd… familiarity isn't quite the word, but Blitzwing can't be bothered to think of a better one; something deep in Blitzwing's code identified the Quintessons, and for some Primus-forsaken, unacceptable reason, that part of his code identified them as 'Master Manufacturer'.

Clue number three, which unlike the first two was impossible to ignore.

Following the brief, and quite frankly anticlimactic victory against the Quintessons, Megatron ordered the Decepticons to take whatever technology they thought looked useful and take it back to the Nemesis for Shockwave to examine. As Blitzwing walked down the hallways of the Quintesson structure he found himself in, his processor screamed at him that this place was definitely familiar. His legs seemed to stop automatically in front of a door labelled 'Overcharge Drone Storage'. Without thinking, Blitzwing opened it.

He really wished he'd thought about it.

The room was filled with rows upon rows upon rows of him. Identical copies of Blitzwing, with exactly the same visor, helmet, wings and treads, all of them holding his signature sword. What's more, they all wore exactly the same grey and dark green colour scheme Blitzwing had had at the start of his life. At first he thought that the Quintessons were just trying to copy him. It made sense, he was easily the strongest Decepticons soldier out there, who wouldn't try to copy him? Not that anyone could, these were obviously inferior and nothing like him at all, besides appearance.

That fantasy lasted as long as it took for the computer in the warehouse to boot up.

On it were simply two files: one labelled 'features' and the other one 'reviews'.

The brand new Quintesson Overcharge Drone is the latest in military technology! Built by and modelled after our diligent workers on Cybertron, Overcharge Drones are the cutting edge in military weaponry, being extremely versatile thanks to their vast array of elemental weapons and the ability to transform mid battle! A squadron of these could raze armies and bend worlds, all while unquestioningly following YOUR orders!

Features include:

Three combat modes (bipedal robot, combat tank and fighter jet)

Triple reinforced titanium-steel alloy sword

Interchangeable fire and ice shells

Cupholders

Ok… That was ok! They were just copying his best features! Sure, the file said they were being made ON Cybertron, so it would be impossible for them to have been made recently, but that's just a coincidence, right? Or maybe they were lying, or maybe-

0/10
I bought one of these to test out, but the things won't even start! I need to give it an entire oil refinery's worth of fuel for it to even take a step forward! It doesn't even serve as a good shield, since armour piercing rounds break through this thing's armour like it's made of paper! Overcharge is a fitting name for these wastes of money and resources.

2/10
Despite the ridiculous amount of fuel needed to make these Overcharge Drones function, I managed to deploy them in combat. They proved to be effective, at least until I ordered them to transform into jet mode. Only three of the five I ordered transformed all the way, the other two got stuck and eventually burst into flames. I tried ordering the remaining three to transform into tanks in mid-air and crush my opponents, but they again got stuck and were inoperable after landing. They have potential, but need some serious reworking before they can be sold for a fraction of their price.

0/10
THESE THINGS ARE NOTHING BUT A SCAM!

A scam.

Blitzwing was created by the Quintessons, by Cybertronian slave labourers millions of years ago.

As a scam.

All the things that made him unique, his frame, his strengths, his problems. They were all intentionally designed and replicated en masse to trick some rich military generals into spending a small planet's GDP.

On a scam.

Blitzwing's entire worth is priced at 3,300,300 credits a pop.

The signs were always there. Blitzwing really should have questioned where he came from and why he couldn't remember anything before the hospital, maybe then the answer wouldn't have been so shattering. To discover that his individuality and uniqueness were all lies… that the only things setting him apart from these drones was new armour, a name and fresh coat of paint.

Blitzwing wasn't an amazingly unique specimen of a triple changer that the eggheads could only dream of understanding.

He was just an overpriced machine.

A mass-produced military-grade knock off.

A scam.