April 24th 2023
Chapter 114
We Become Sleepless
He never knew just where he was, except that he was safe. He couldn't even explain it. He was somewhere, but he was nowhere, and he was okay. He wasn't alone. Wherever he was, some part of him knew that there were others near him. His father, his grandparents… Maya… Oh, she was so close, but he couldn't get to her. And Ella… their big girl… She would be like him someday, she would be at the ranch with him, she… I shouldn't be here… I shouldn't be here… Don't hurt her… Where were the little ones? The pumpkin, the cub, the kit, and the bun, Macaw, Lucky… No, keep away, it's not safe…
You're safe, my Luke…
She was here, too, or at least he felt like she was. His mother… He missed her so much it hurt, and she was here now… Mom… Are you really here? I can't see you, but…
I'm here if you want me to be.
Of course, I want you to be.
Then I'm here.
Marianne thinks you are.
She's a smart girl.
If you really are here, then what does it mean?
My son needs me, so I'm here. What else would it mean?
I think you know what I'm saying. Am I dead? Am I dying? There was no response, but it didn't feel foreboding, more reassuring. I try, you know? I try and do like she does and imagine that you're still here, a ghost. He heard his mother's laughter, and it was like an embrace even if he felt nothing. He had to be dreaming, surely, but with this presence of his mother around him, he was caught between the common sense and a deeper desire. I miss you so much that I want to believe it, but I can't do it.
I know, sweetheart.
Then prove it. Please? Mom?
X
There was a light golden glow to the room when he opened his eyes, like the sun was just starting to rise. It could convince him that he was still asleep except that his senses were just waking up, too, some more than others. He felt dull aches, heaviness, and discomforts, but he could also catch scents on the air, familiar scents that combined to create a feeling of home. His father's aftershave, his wife's shampoo… He could hear the quiet buzz of voices he knew, his grandparents, his in-laws… and footsteps, slow, continual. Pacing. They carried that flowery scent, and he focused on that, the better to find her. Maya… slowly walking from one side of the room to the other. He could almost feel her exhaustion radiating off of her. She hadn't slept and she desperately needed to. He wanted to speak, to tell her that, but he couldn't do much more than open his mouth, which felt so dry. This new discomfort manifested itself in a small bit of noise which, in the quiet of the early morning, was enough to get several pairs of eyes to turn and see him, and now the energy that came off of all of them was one and the same: relief.
"Hi… hey…" Maya breathed, turning her feet toward him until they carried her to his bed side, and she could grasp his hand before leaning to press a kiss, light against his forehead. His eyes were locked on her now, following her every move. There was still so much fear in her eyes, and he hated to realize he'd played a part in putting it there. "You're okay, you're here. We've got you, see?" she looked around to the others in the room, all of them on their feet now and standing at the end of the bed or behind her. He still couldn't make himself look away from her even as he knew that the others were there, and he knew that she understood. "Right here," she reminded him, lightly squeezing his hand. "Not going away." He concentrated as best he could on her hand, on feeling it, small in his own, soft, and cool. If he kept on feeling it, then he would know where he was.
He saw his father, the worry so deeply etched in his face like the grooves had never left him since February, so these new concerns had only ever needed to follow them and settle in. He saw him, and he wanted to tell him how he'd seen his mother, and he was almost ready to think she'd been real, but his voice still wouldn't come, and maybe it was for the best, maybe it was better not to let them in on his unconscious dreams.
"Do you remember what happened?" his father asked, and after a beat he thought to lift his free hand and sign. His hand felt heavy, but he didn't let that stop him.
"Yes," Maya interpreted for him, an automatic reflex. "All of it?" she asked then, at once terrified and curious. Not sure.
"They caught them," Shawn provided, and Lucas turned his eyes to look at him. "The horses were found, they weren't hurt." He hadn't even gotten there, but he was relieved to hear this. He might have asked after his own condition next, but instead his fingers moved to spell a name and make it a question. S-y-l-v-i-e.
"She's awake, she'll be alright. She's been asking about you, should be sleeping now," Maya reported. There, more relief.
"She said you saved her life," Thomas added, his face relaxing. Lucas could still hear her in his head, could still see her, there by the stables, and that man… I shouldn't be there… but thank goodness I was… The thought was his own, unspoken, unsigned, but even so, they understood him.
Their conversation was interrupted by his doctor and a nurse coming to check on him. He finally spoke, his voice coming rough at first, clearer as he went. The more they spoke, and he responded, he was able to get an idea of his condition. On the whole, they would say that his condition was one of luck. More than once they suggested that if the injuries that he'd sustained had been just a bit further, just a bit deeper, he would have been at further risk. He wasn't out of the woods by any means, and he would be staying at the hospital for a while longer, days, maybe weeks, the better to ensure that those near misses were in fact misses. Their greatest concern just now, aside from the blow he'd taken to the head, was his recovery from the injury and subsequent surgery to his spine. They were already optimistic that he'd recover well there, too, but they had to be certain.
It was a lot for him to take in, but he just kept on listening, waiting until it was finally just him and his family before closing his eyes, letting the information settle in. It was fully morning now, and there was just one very important thing for him to know now.
"The girls?" he asked Maya.
"Ella and Taylor went back to the house with Nellie and Gracie," she told him. "I told Ella to try and explain to them about how you were hurt. It's all out there, we'll try and keep them from seeing too much, but…" she shook her head. There'd only be so much they'd be able to do. "She'll be calling their schools, too, they'll stay home for today at least, and then…"
"I need to see them," Lucas told her. She hesitated. "I need them to see me, to know I'm okay," he rephrased, and she let out a breath. "I don't look too bad, do I?" he had to ask.
"You've been better," she had to admit, and he understood her hesitation. She didn't want to worry their daughters more than she had to, but then what was the alternative? They'd been through this dance before, much as any of them hated to recall. Two years back, they'd waited to bring them to see Maya until after she'd woken up again, which made sense. How long would they have to wait, if they did wait, before they felt able to bring them to see him?
"Please? Maya, I need them to know that I got through this."
Ella and Taylor would be driving them in, the six of them. When the text came in, letting her know that they were almost there, Maya left Lucas' room and headed outside, the better to meet them and see what they were dealing with. They would all have woken up this morning to no parents at home and then the very bad news that their father had been hurt and was in the hospital. From what she saw and was told, it was very much as she'd figured it would be. Aubrey took it more than anything as what she was told. Her father was hurt, and he was in the hospital, so the doctors would make him better, no problem. That was what doctors did. Mackenzie was mostly of the same mind, but she had more questions, and what would frustrate her the most would be the lack of proper answers. After her, the triplets, at five years old, understood that he was hurt, and they met the assurance that he was being seen to and would get better with varying levels of skepticism; they needed to see him to get a better idea.
And then there was Marianne who, from the top of her nine years, had been old enough to face what felt like far too many family tragedies and near ones, too. When they told her and her little sisters their version of events, she could look at their faces and know that they weren't telling her everything. They'd done their best to keep all of them from finding out about the intruders, the theft, and the assaults, but she'd found a news report after swiping Ella's phone, and while none of the triplets or little sisters saw it, she definitely did, and she was understandably upset. She'd been silent ever since and didn't say a word even when reunited with her mother. She only spoke with her eyes, and they said it all: she needed to see him.
Maya, Ella, and Taylor led the girls along, and the overall mood seemed to be that they didn't want to worry the girls, that while Lucas was here, they didn't need to worry. It was true, for the most part, so if they could get past the surface signs of what had happened the night before… all would be well.
"Daddy!" Aubrey broke through first, and if they wanted to reassure their daughters, then the smile that came on Lucas' face for seeing her and her sisters would be right up there.
"Hey, Lucky," he told her as Maya lifted her up and placed her near him.
"Careful, yeah?" she quietly reminded her. "Like with Finneas."
"Okay, okay," Aubrey nodded at her before turning a smile to her father again. "Daddy, you okay?" she asked, even as she was joined by Mackenzie, up in Taylor's arms, then Kacey, and Remy, and Lucy, lined up at the edge of the bed and looking up at him.
"Better now that you're here," he told her, told all of them, and they looked glad for it. The only one who wouldn't, still standing by the door, was Marianne. She was looking at him, and she looked this close to hyperventilating before taking a quick step back and another, returning into the hall. Maya didn't miss a beat and went after her.
"Hey…" she reached her, touched her shoulder, but Marianne pulled back before looking at her, tears in her eyes. "I know," Maya promised her. She didn't need to hold up the mask for her. She could let it down, show her own distress and let it help her firstborn process hers. In what felt like much too short a time, she'd nearly lost her mother in this hospital, she'd lost her grandmother, and now her father was here, looking as he did… There was only so much she could take. "We're going to get him through this, all of us together, okay?" Maya told her, taking her into her arms once she was allowed to. Marianne squeezed on to her, and she cried as much as she needed to, until the weight had been lessened from her young shoulders.
TO BE CONTINUED
See you tomorrow! - mooners
