Jealous Guy – Roxy Music
I was dreaming of the past
And my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
I began to lose control
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy
I was feeling insecure
You might not love me anymore
I was shivering inside
I was shivering inside
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy
I was trying to catch your eye
Thought that you were trying to hide
I was swallowing my pain
I was swallowing my pain
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy
He hoped that he was not too late. Penelope deserved someone who would want to spend every waking moment with her. Not someone who would marry her only to leave her for three years. If she were his wife he wouldn't be able to leave her for an hour let alone years. Even now he ached to be near her.
When he arrived he found Penelope dancing with Lord Debling. She looked so beautiful that he felt drawn to her like a moth to a flame. It was in his arms she should be, not an almost complete stranger. "Do you mind if I interrupt?" He did not much mind if Lord Debling minded or not.
"Colin." Penelope looked surprised to see him which was not surprising since he had arrived when the ball was almost over. He had been quite short with his mother about attending, but somehow he was certain that Violet Bridgerton had seen through his excuse.
"It should only take a moment." After all, he only needed enough time to convince Penelope not to marry Lord Debling. How hard could that be? It seemed as though they were somehow destined to be together.
"It appears you two have something to resolve." This did not seem to come as a surprise to Lord Debling and yet Penelope did not look impressed. "I shall leave you to it." He walked away calmly and Colin took his place with Penelope in his arms. Right where she should be.
"Colin, you are going to ruin things between me and Debling." She actually looked cross with him.
"Well perhaps that is for the best." How could he allow Lord Debling to marry his best friend when he could not stop thinking of her in a very non-friend way?
"What do you mean?" He was not verbalising this well. It was always easier when he wrote. The words seemed to flow so naturally then. It was their best form of communication and he had missed receiving her letters while he had been away, although now he understood why she had not written.
"Pen… You can not marry him. You hardly know him." At least not as well as they knew each other.
"I know him well enough." That was good enough for anyone but her and his sisters. He wanted better for them.
"I hear he is leaving. For three years." He had watched her be alone even within her own family and he couldn't bare for that to continue into a marriage as well.
"I know that Colin. It takes a year alone to get where he is going." He hadn't known that, but there were still so many reasons that she should not marry Lord Debling. "I have made my peace with what Lord Debling has to offer." He could offer her more. Perhaps not from a financial point of view although he was not broke and if he was successful with his writing, he would not have to rely heavily on the family money. But he loved her, he would not leave her for years on end, they could laugh together. "I am going to accept his proposal."
No! He could not let that happen. Had he waited too long? "I said I would help you find a husband, but I cannot watch you make a mistake." He barely registered Debling walking past them to leave.
"The only mistake was me ever asking for your help in the first place." She stormed off to follow Debling and his heart shattered. She had been right in front of him all of this time and it was only now that he truly saw her and now it was too late.
