Chapter 6: Tontatta AU

Summary: From humiliation comes understanding, or adventures with difficult situations.


"Smoker-san!"

Smoker's ear twitched. Had he heard something? He stared down the alleyway he was guarding, his handpicked platoon hunkered down behind barrels and crates, waiting. It was the most direct offshoot to the port, a route he knew the damn pirates he was hunting would be forced to take. Once they showed up that is.

"Smoker-san!" There it was again, a noise. Something fast moving collided with his shin.

"Down here!"A ridiculously small thing was hopping up and down like a flea. What in the world–?

He snatched it out of the air, bringing it up to his face and blinked.

"Smoker-san! They're a devil fruit user!" The small thing cried. The size of a golf ball, with a puffy tail and what looked like a pink piece of cloth hastily wrapped around it… Wait, it looked oddly familiar.

"It's me, Sir! They turned me into this!" High, squeaky little voice, big brown eyes, black hair.

Tashigi, his right hand, cheeks puffed out in tiny fury, was hopping up and down in his palm. His lips twitched.

"Sir, this is serious! They took my sword!" she squeaked like a balloon letting out air. "This is why they've been able to avoid capture!" She was trying so hard to be professional, but… but–

She was so small. And squeaky. And she had a tail like a squirrel. A snort pulled from his throat. "It's not funny!" Squeakshigi wailed. Yeah, yeah it was, the whole damn situation was hilarious. His men looked at one another worriedly as he doubled over, laughter breaking out of his stoic facade like a prison. What hadn't they ever seen him laugh before?

His moment of levity was cut short however, as a VERY large foot squashed the building next to him. Alright, time for business.


The door to her office was closed. Yep, Tashigi was mad. Smoker sighed, then pushed it open. His second-in-command sat behind her desk, polishing her sword. She glared, cheeks pink as he dropped onto her couch. "You have one of those in your office, you know," she grumbled.

Very mad.

He weighed his options carefully. Gone were the days where her ire was nothing more than a headache. Now, she could and would give him paperwork from hell. Or worse. Misplace his cigars.

"Your sword make it out unscathed?" he asked. Pirates had nabbed it when their captain, one Gran D. Hugh, had turned her into a… what were they called? Tontatta? Whatever he was, he was currently in the brig in a jar tied up with seastone.

Tashigi muttered something under her breath and proceeded to not answer. The report she was writing on the incident was already a two inch high stack. What a damn pain. Pirate bastard had wreaked havoc on Pequeno City, his Shape Shape abilities to change himself into whatever species he wanted were far more dangerous than one would expect. Probably lucky he could only turn others into his original species.

Smoker crossed his arms behind his head and lit up a cigar. He'd wait for her to get irritated enough by his presence to finally tell him the real reason why she was so upset.

The sound of the whetstone on the blade, distant drills being run outside, and the ever present ocean filled his ears. He was almost asleep when she suddenly snapped "It's hard enough you know!"

Smoker turning his head to look at her. She was fiddling with her jacket now, a patch torn out from the sleeve. Ah, that's where she'd gotten the cloth from. "They already think less of me right from the start."

He blinked, raising an eyebrow.

"Who?" He knew the answer, he wasn't stupid. But, he wanted her to say it.

"The men, our men. The Navy. Everyone." Okay, that was a lot more than he was expecting. Her knuckles had turned white from clenching her fists. "What if I was actually a Tontatta? The Navy has hardly any women, let alone other species. No minks, no fishmen, the giants only joined 100 years ago!" She got up, starting to pace in agitation. Smoker had a feeling this had been a long time coming.

"What if I was a Tontatta and wanted to join and… and the first response I got was someone laughing at me?" She shoved her glasses furiously onto the bridge of her nose as they nearly slid off her face. Smoker chewed his cigar, reaching over to his bicep to pull out a second one.

"Not quite the same situation," he grunted, then immediately knew he should have stayed quiet.

"So?! You… you laughed at me when I needed you to take me seriously. My master laughed at me when I told him I wanted to join the Navy. Our men think I'm being funny when I try to put my foot down and DON'T tell me they love me, there's a difference between adoration and respect!" Tashigi glared at him strongly enough to make the edges of his haki sizzle.

"I wasn't laughing at you," he leaned forward to put out one cigar into the ashtray that Tashigi specifically had on her coffee table just for his use. "The situation was absurd."

She looked away, her arms now coming up to cross over her chest. "Yes, but… if even you can't take me seriously, then who will?" Damn, her voice sounded so small, not like when she was a Tontatta, but like the world was making her shrink.

He didn't like it. At all.

Smoker stubbed out his other cigar, only half finished and got to his feet. Her face was splotchy from anger, her eyes focused on the floor, bottom lip sucked between her teeth as he approached. "You're right, the world ain't fair," he started, even though she opened her mouth to interrupt him, "So how do you want me to fix it?" She looked at him, eyes wide in surprise. That bothered him, she shouldn't be surprised that he thought she was right, or that he wanted to fix things.

Of all the things he expected Tashigi to do next, giggling was not one of them. He scowled as the giggle turned into a laugh. "Quit it," he grunted, but she only laughed harder before wiping her eyes. Alright, being laughed at sucked, he'd learned his lesson.

"Sorry, Sir. I know you mean it," she smiled at him, no longer sounding small. She took a big breath, "Thank you, for listening," she added gently. He nodded, moving away to retake his spot on her couch as she resettled to poke at the report on her desk.

"Smoker-san, I do have to say one more thing…"

He looked over his shoulder. "I think you should laugh more, if only to not scare our men so badly."

"Don't push it."


Notes:
I really need Smoker as a Tontatta now