This is a very short chapter, but certainly the one I loved to write the most. ^^ Enjoy.


Tekwanonwerá:tons

Connor was gone for about two weeks and I missed him terribly. But he had been right. This time of distance did us good and I used it to think about the events of the last months. Now that everything had been said, it was much easier for me and I was able to see the doings of my brother in a different light. But I couldn´t change my opinion of him. I neither wanted to rack my brains over him, if it wasn´t necessary. This brooding had caused all my problems after all and had made me risk my marriage. If Connor would finally forgive me, it was everything that was really important to me.
But when Connor returned, we didn´t fell happily into each other´s arms. Our greeting was rather restrained, but not in an uncomfortable way. We didn´t talk about the past. During the day as well as in the nights, when we were laying in bed next to each other, we only shared timid touches and kisses occasionally. It was almost like during the time when we had fallen in love with each other. A hesitant approach to one another and there was nothing wrong about it. In the contrary. We had to come closer to each other again and I knew that especially Connor needed this space and I was more than willing to give it to him. We both wanted to look forward.

Also Caleb was noticeably relieved about it. I hadn´t talked to him, but I knew that he had suffered under Connor´s and my fight as much as we had, even though he didn´t know exactly what it had been about. But he had told Maria that he had feared that our family would break apart and that he could lose one of us. Now that everything was fine again, the eleven-years-old appeared entirely relaxed and pleased. He spread his familiar happiness and seemed to be more eager to help me than usual. I wasn´t able to do the housework without difficulties anymore. Sometimes I was out of breath when I had just reached for the shelves to put the dishes back after cleaning them. My belly was really hindering and Caleb had appropriately mentioned once that I was looking like I had swallowed a pumpkin. Sometimes that was exactly how I felt. But no matter how exhausted I was and no matter how much my occasional backaches were plaguing me, I never lost my excited anticipation of the baby. Even as my backache became worse one day.

At irregular intervals I felt an unpleasant ache in my back, but also in my groin. When I was moving it was reasonably bearable and so I tried to spend my day as usual. When I sat down to rest, I tried to massage the aching spots or I lay down for a moment, to relieve my back. All of that was more or less helpful, but as I went to bed in the evening, I could fall asleep at least. But this sleep didn´t last long.
I woke up because of a painful ache in my lower body and I couldn´t hold back a pained groan. I laid my hand on my belly and sat up. The pain slowly subsided, but I didn´t feel like I could lie down again and sleep. I pushed the blanket back, sat on the edge of the bed and stayed there for a while, before I stood up. That was when it happened.
I just heard a quiet splashing sound and felt how a warm wetness trickled down my legs and gathered around my feet. Totally taken by surprise I stared to the floor, but because of the darkness around me, I couldn´t see anything. But I was seized by a pain again, which seemed to contract my whole belly. I gasped and supported myself with the bedside table, before my legs could give in. Only now Connor seemed to notice that something was wrong.

I heard the rustling of the blanket behind me as he sat up and shortly afterwards his sleepy voice sounded behind me. "What is it?"
"I think you have to go and get Dr. White and Diana", I uttered between clenched teeth.
"The doctor? Diana? Wh...?", he paused and I heard hectic movements behind me, before the oil lamp on the bedside table was lighting up and Connor kneeled down behind me.
"Are you sure?", he asked excited and I would have liked to roll my eyes.
"No, I´m just imagining it. Go back to sleep", I mocked but had to gasp in pain again. That seemed to be Connor´s cue. Still in bed he leaped to his feet and had jumped over the foot to the floor shortly afterwards and hurried to the room door.
"I will be right back!", he told me unnecessarily, before he disappeared. I couldn´t help but asked myself what Diana and the doctor were going to think, when suddenly a half-native, only dressed in pants, was knocking on their doors in the middle of the night. I wanted to laugh with the thought, but it became stuck in my throat because of the lasting pain. Trembling I sank back onto the bed and tried to remember what Diana had told me about the birth. I had to keep a regular breathing. Couldn´t be so difficult. I tried it and concentrated on every single breath I took, but I had to pause as I suddenly heard Caleb´s worried voice behind me.
"What is it?", he asked and as I looked at him, he appeared totally sleepy.
"Caleb, could you please put on water?", I asked as calm as possible and first he just looked at me uncomprehendingly, before he seemed to understand and hurried to the staircase.

I concentrated on my breathing again, until I heard steps on the staircase again and Diana entered the room shortly afterwards, followed by Dr. White and Connor. The latter appeared terribly tensed and dogged her every step, as she went to me and made me lie down again.
"Easy, just relax", she said with a smile although I had been more than relaxed to my own surprise. Diana pushed both pillows under my head and winced slightly, as she turned around and almost barged into Connor. She put her hands on her hips with an indignant snort, before she pushed herself past him, grabbed his shirt that was hanging over a chair and threw it to him.
"You better go outside", she said strictly and I saw how Connor´s expression slipped away.
"But...I want to stay with her", he uttered but Diana had already grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door.
"Men are responsible for making children. Giving birth is a woman´s job. Lillian will manage it and we are here, too."
Connor gave me an almost helpless gaze and I tried to smile at him, but it turned out quite forced thanks to another wave of pain.
"It´s fine. Don´t worry", I said, but while I looked into his nervous face, I started to become nervous, too. But maybe it would be really better, if Connor wasn´t in this room. I could see his reluctance, but he obeyed and left the room, before Diana closed the door behind him.


In the end, I didn´t know how long I had been in labour, but the sun was already high in the sky as Dr. White told me that I had given birth to a healthy girl with a pair of strong lungs. I could only hear her cry while Diana washed her, wrapped her in a cloth and carried her to me.
"Well, it seems like the father is quite obvious", she said with a wide smile, before she gave me the little bundle and I could see my daughter for the very first time. I beamed and carefully let a finger stroke over the little cheeks. She really was a tiny version of Connor. Her skin was only a few tones lighter than his, she had a tuft of black hair on her head and as she opened her eyes shortly, they were just as brown as Connor´s.
He was now let in by Diana and Dr. White, who left the room and closed the door behind Connor. He was like rooted to the spot at first and stared at me and the bundle in my arms. I asked myself who of us was looking wearier. Him or me? Later on I learned that Connor had spent the last hours with walking furrows into the floor. Maria, who had come to the manor by dawn, even had been forced to hold him back from time to time, when he had wanted to push the door open and storm into the room, when he had heard me scream in pain. He was still looking tensed, but when he made some hesitant steps towards the bed, this tension vanished more and more.

When he sat down on the edge of the bed and could also look into the tiny face of his daughter, his eyes lightened up. Carefully he reached out a hand and stroked over her cheek, like I had done it before.
"Are you fine?", he asked and looked at me.
"I am", I said with a smile. I was exhausted but the joy, I was feeling, was making up for this exhaustion. I turned my gaze back to the baby in my arms, constantly smiling. The little girl opened her eyes blinking and seemed to look at us curiously.
"Look at her", I whispered. "Isn´t she beautiful?"
Connor nodded, a happy and proud smile on his lips. "May I?", he asked quietly and raised his arms slightly, now looking a bit insecure.
"Of course." I handed him our daughter and Connor took her carefully into his arms, as if he feared that he could break her. But his smile became almost ecstatic while he looked down at her and I had to smirk about this sight. It was almost unreal. This bear of a man, who was able to execute several man in a minimum of time, was sitting there entirely calm and had a baby in his strong arms, with an expression that could make you doubt that he was capable of emotions like anger or aggressiveness at all. He looked more peaceful than he had been for a long time and that made me even happier.

"She still needs a name", Connor said and looked at me smiling. I sat up and cocked my head.
"Well, I thought we already chose one."
Connor smirked. "As long as you do not want to give her four names."
I chuckled and rolled my eyes. Connor had never been able to understand why I was having four names, the names of my grandmothers among others. I would have liked to give my daughter the names of important persons, too. But I obeyed Connor´s incomprehension. A Mohawk-name for our child had never been under discussion, even though I had expected that it would be important to Connor. But he had never brought it up and seemed to be more than satisfied with our final decision.
"So she has a name?", he asked and I nodded smiling. Connor leaned forward to me and tenderly kissed my lips, before he looked down to the baby in his arms again, bent over her and murmured:
"Tekwanonwerá:tons, Emily." (Welcome, Emily)

There was a silent knock on the door and as it opened, Diana pushed her head through the opening and looked at us with a smile. "I just wanted to see if everything is alright, before I go."
"Everything is fine", I answered. "Thank you for everything, Diana."
"You don´t have to thank me for that." She glanced at Emily and now entered the room and closed the door behind herself. "You should nurse her as soon as possible, by the way", she said and stepped to the bed.
"Already?", I asked with wide eyes and Diana smirked slightly.
"Of course. What is said against it?"
"Well..." Uncertain I looked at Emily who was calm in Connor´s arms. "Is she already able to drink?"
Diana looked at me confused for a moment before she chuckled, went to Connor and carefully took the baby off his arms. "Of course she can. You just have to give her the breast correctly and she will do the rest on her own."
Still a bit uncertain, I loosened the laces of my night gown´s neckline and let Diana lay Emily into my arms. Hesitantly I laid her to my breast but at first I thought, that she was already asleep and didn´t notice anything. But then she opened her mouth and with some help, she began to drink, smacking quietly.
"See", Diana said. "It´s not so difficult."


Eventually Caleb had come hesitantly into the room, too, to greet the newest member of our family. You could see that he was a bit overwhelmed by this situation, but when he saw Emily, he was absolutely convinced that she smiled at him and that made the boy beam. He didn´t dare to hold her, but I didn´t like to give her away anyway, after Diana had laid her into my arms again. I could have spent hours with holding her, rocking her lightly and caressing her little cheeks. Emily seemed to enjoy it because she quickly fell asleep in my arms, obviously as exhausted from the birth as I was.
I only handed her over, as I stood up to wash myself, but only then I noticed how exhausting the birth really had been. I was glad as I could go into our freshly changed bed. Maria brought me a bowl of soup which I ate hungrily, before I snuggled up in the pillows again and looked at Connor with a smirk, who was sitting by the cradle Emily was laying in. He had dragged a chair next to it and had propped up his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands, while he was watching over his little daughter´s sleep with a dreamy smile.

"Do I have to become jealous?", I asked mockingly and he looked at me smirking. Shaking his head he stood up, looked into the cradle once again and came to me. He laid down on the bed, bent over me and blew a kiss on my forehead. His lips brushed over my temple, down to my cheek and made my heart flutter as they stopped over my own lips.
"Thank you for making me this gift", Connor murmured and involved me in a deep kiss. Our distance of the last weeks was forgotten because it seemed like it had needed this little wonder to finally show us that we didn´t want to be separated.
"I love you", I whispered and tenderly ran my fingers through his hair.
"I love you, too." Connor laid down on his back, pushed a pillow into his nape and pulled me closer, so that I could bed my head on his chest. "Rest", he murmured and kissed my hair. Sighing quietly I closed my eyes and let myself become lulled by his warmth and his gently caresses. This day was going to stay forever in my memory as one the luckiest in my life. I had given birth to a wonderful little girl and could finally say with certainty that I had the most wonderful man by my side, who I loved with all my heart. And with this thought and a smile on my lips, I fell asleep.