Hey everyone. :)
This is a whole Lillian&Connor-Chapter, which I just wanted to give them before things are getting difficult again. So if you don´t like to read such chapters/ scenes, you have to wait for the next chapter. ;) To the rest of you: Enjoy reading.
I miss you
May, 1786
Half a year passed. Peaceful seven months in which we heard nothing from Ray or even the templars and in which we almost had the feeling, that there had never been a threat coming from them, even though Connor left from time to time, to do some missions for the brotherhood. By now he left us alone for some time to do so. Everything was like it had used to be before Ray had appeared and had messed everything up. I didn´t have to look around with discomfort anymore when if left the house just to work outside for example.
Like I was doing on this particular day. In a thirst of action I had begun to clean up the house for the upcoming summer. The fireplaces had to be swept out thoroughly because they were barely used at the moment. Armed with a small shovel and a hand brush, I attended to every single one of them, removed the cold ash and accepted more or less that fine particles of soot were flying up in the process and got stuck on my skin. I had confided Emily to Diana´s care and Caleb and Connor were at sea for three weeks now. They had sailed to Martha´s Vineyard because the Aquila needed some repairing and refinements she would get there. Olivia already left us two weeks after the visit of the soldiers and didn´t show up here again since then and that was a good thing. So I was completely undisturbed during my work. At least I thought so.
I grabbed the last bucket of cold ash and carried it outside to dispose of its content. Back in the kitchen, I heaved a bucket of fresh water onto the work surface and dipped my hands in the cold liquid. The soot on them came off and drew fine black lines which I tried to draw out through light movements to create small pictures on the water´s surface. With moderate success. Smirking I interrupted my child´s play, washed my arms, neck and décolleté and also sprinkled some water into my face. When I dried myself with a towel, I winced as suddenly two strong arms were laid around my waist and I was pulled against a pleasantly warm body.
"Eventually I´m going to have a knife in my hand when you sneak up like that", I mumbled but couldn´t hold back my amused tone.
"That is only going to scare me, when I know that you are able to use a knife", Connor murmured into my ear. Actually I wanted to counter but I didn´t know what to say. I was too distracted by Connor´s lips which were stroking delicately over my exposed nape and crook of my neck. They left a noticeable warmth and a light, pleasant prickle, where my skin had been touched by the cold water. A pleasant shiver ran through my body and I couldn´t keep a quiet sigh from leaving my lips.
"When did you come back?", I asked, just to force myself not to let my mind wander too far away.
"Just arrived", murmured Connor as an answer and kept caressing my neck while his hands slowly stroked from my belly to my hips. I swallowed heavily.
"So you...came here directly then?", I asked, while my eyes fluttered shut and I leaned my head against his shoulder. Although I was inwardly asking myself, why I was allowed to enjoy his tender touches, I enjoyed it immensely. Connor could explain me some sailing routes, as long as he didn´t stop what he was just doing, I would listen to him forever.
"Don´t you have to...help on the Aquila somehow?", I tried to stay close to reality again. I couldn´t be entirely distracted by him after only two minutes, could I?
Self-control, Lillian. Just a question of self-control.
"The men will do it", Connor answered and pulled me tighter, not without stopping his caresses, on the other side of my neck this time.
"And why are you ambushing me like that? I´m not used to it", I said and leaned my head a bit sideward, so that he had better access to my skin. So much about self-control.
Connor paused shortly and made me squinch up my face in disappointment. Who had said that he should stop?
Carefully Connor put his mouth to my ear and murmured: "I missed you."
A small smile flitted across my lips and I raised an arm to reach behind me to run my fingertips over Connor´s cheek.
"You weren´t away for so long", I said with a gentle voice and my fingers slid to Connor´s nape. He hummed quietly and I saw, how his eyes closed for a moment.
"But I missed to be alone with you." With these words, he turned me around to him. My palms pressed against his chest when he pulled me so close that there wouldn´t be enough space for a piece of paper between us. His eyes fixed mine and I understood what he meant.
Since Emily´s birth, for a year now, we had rarely shared entirely undisturbed moments alone with each other. Either we had been in trouble and had been somewhere else with our thoughts because of that, or I had to attend to Emily with all my heart. She was also sharing our room after all. Of course we had shared tender caresses and had given in to our passion for each other, but these moments hadn´t been as perfect as they had used to be because of the sleeping child only a few metres away. We loved our daughter with all our hearts, but we somehow lost the love we were giving to her in our own relationship.
I sighed deeply and closed my eyes, when Connor leaned his forehead against mine. "I miss you, too", I whispered and felt Connor´s lips on mine shortly afterwards. It was a deep kiss, but when Connor´s hands moved from my hips to my bottom, I grabbed his hands and pulled away.
"It is midday", I began quietly and gained a frown from Connor. "Caleb can be here in every moment and I have to pick Emily up soon. We´re not alone, at least not entirely." I hated it to say that, because with the caressing of my neck alone, Connor had aroused this little flame inside of me, which was only waiting for living on his closeness. But which worth had it, when we could be disturbed in every moment?
Connor put his hands on my cheeks and I had almost protested, when he leaned my head to the side and backwards a bit to attend to my neck with his lips again. Hadn´t he listened to me?
"Connor...", I whispered and wanted to pull at his hair lightly, so that he stopped. But it just felt too wonderful...
"Caleb will be busy on the Aquila the whole day", Connor murmured when he stopped his doings on my neck for a moment. "He has received some important tasks which need to be done."
"I´m sure these tasks came from the Captain himself, didn´t they?"
A confirmative hum was the answer and I had to grin shortly. Sometimes Connor could be a dodgy bastard.
"But what about Emily? I consigned her to Diana´s care so that I can do some housework, from which you are distracting me by the way..." I gasped in surprise when I felt Connor´s teeth on my earlobe, as if he wanted to punish me for even thinking about housework.
"When?", Connor asked, before his lips drew a line from my throat up to my mouth.
"Maybe an hour ago?", I answered insecurely and already enjoyed the light touch of our lips. No matter what I was saying, basically I didn´t even want to listen to myself anymore.
"Could you do what you have planned to do in one hour?"
I shook my head.
"In two?"
I shook my head again.
"In three?"
"Maybe."
"So it means you have to pick Emily up in two hours at the earliest, right?"
I nodded.
"So what are you worrying about then?"
That was a very good question...I smirked. "Sometimes you´re really incredible", I said, right before Connor conquered my lips with his again. His heated kiss weakened my legs and I was glad that he had wrapped his arms tightly around me and pressed me against him. Otherwise my knees would have given in. Once again he had managed it to make me become wax in his hands, or rather he was close. Because a small, mischievous part of me decided to keep him in suspense. He shouldn´t think that it was so easy for him to seduce me...although it was.
I pulled away from the kiss, pushed Connor away from me and tried to stay as serious as possible, when he gave me an indignant gaze. He hadn´t expected that.
"I really have much to do", I told him and didn´t even wait for a reaction, when I pushed myself past him and left the kitchen, although I would have liked to see his face. Relaxed I walked along the hallway, but a grin appeared on my face, when I heard Connor´s steps behind me. My hips started to sway provocatively and when I reached the staircase and climbed the first stairs, seriousness wasn´t on my side anymore. Connor´s and my gazes met and I recognized this sparkle in his eyes, which was always there when he was amused about something. How should I have been able to make him believe that his tender attention in the kitchen had left me cold?
Smirking I climbed the stairs, Connor close behind me and he had already reached me before I was able to enter our bedroom. His hands were on my hips when he gently pushed me through the door and kicked it shut with his foot. I turned around to him, pulled him down to me on the collar of his shirt and kissed him full of dedication while his hands began to free me from my clothes, likewise dedicative. I laughed. "You know that it looks quite desperate when we´re going for each other like this, don´t you?"
"We have time for each other at last and I do not want you to come up with the idea that you have more important things to do", Connor grumbled as an answer while my bodice was fluttering to the floor and I was only in my shift.
"More important?", I asked smirking and pushed his coat from his shoulders. "I don´t know what could be more important right now..."
Connor let me be to slip out of his leggings and shoes and finally led me to the bed by my wrist, where he sat down on the foot and pulled me astride onto his lap. After he had been so in the hurry to free me from my upper garments, I took every time of the world to open his shirt, button after button. Although we didn´t know how much time we were going to have for each other in the end, I wanted to enjoy every second of it. My lips gently brushed his, his cheek, his distinctive chin, while my hands were celebrating the exposing of his torso. The more of his skin became visible, the more time I took to caress it with my fingertips after every button I had opened.
Connor had closed his eyes, his hands lying motionless on my thighs and was obviously enjoying what I did. Carefully I pushed the unbuttoned shirt from his shoulders and followed its path with my lips. Connor´s skin was so wonderfully warm and soft and when I kissed along the crook of his neck, I believed to taste the salt of the sea air he had been exposed to over the last weeks. In the meantime my hands slid over his chest, to his belly and very lightly, my fingertips stroked along the waistband of his trousers. Connor reacted with a sharp inhale and when he opened his eyes, I could read the same longing in them I was feeling, too.
I bend forward and we got lost in a passionate kiss during which Connor´s hands slid over my waist upwards and loosened the grip that was holding my hair together. He ran his fingers through my curls, opened them like this and draped them over my shoulders. He pulled away from my lips and regarded his work, while his fingers were still playing with some strands. He said nothing while it seemed like he wanted to memorise every single detail of my face and this silence made me become uneasy after some time.
"Could you please stop staring at me?", I asked and pushed my bottom lip forward. An amused smile flitted across Connor´s lips.
"Are you in a hurry after all?"
"First, you have been in a hurry and second...it makes me nervous when you´re just looking at me." The last words were only a quiet mumble which made Connor cock his head.
"I am sorry", he said gently. "But sometimes I cannot help myself."
He pulled me closer again and kissed me tenderly, while his hands moved downwards again and stopped on my knees. I moaned quietly when they slid along my thighs provocatively slowly, putting gentle pressure on their insides with his thumbs. Bit by bit he pushed my shift up and the further he got, the stronger became the goose bumps he was causing. He pulled away from the kiss when he pulled my last piece of clothing over my head and I shivered shortly. I wasn´t entirely sure if it was because of the cold air in the room, to which I was exposed now or if Connor´s gaze and his caressing hands were causing it. Soon I excluded the former, because I had the feeling to burn internally. It was noticeable that the last time we had shared such intimate touches was too long ago. I was longing for touching Connor and for being touched by him. When I wrapped my arms around his torso and pulled him closer, as gasp fled both of our lips when bare skin met bare skin. I buried my face in the crook of Connor´s neck and lightly nibbled at this sensitive spot which made my lover sigh contentedly. It was music to my ears.
I continued with my caresses until I felt how Connor´s right hand moved from my hips over my torso, finally laid around my breast and started to massage it gently. Now it was on me to utter a contended sound, which was soon similar to a moan, as Connor thumb brushed the sensitive peak.
I threw my head back and arched my back, so that he could reach it with his lips and a warm prickle ran through my body when he did. This touch alone felt heavenly, but much to my regret Connor didn´t want to indulge in this wonderful game of his lips for long. He made me lift my hips a bit, so that he could move backwards onto the bed and slip out of his pants, before he pulled me closer again and I sat down on his thighs.
My hands found their way into his nape when we kissed each other again, but I let them stroke down over his shoulders to his chest, slowly and gently, stopped there for a moment, when I felt the vibration of his heartbeat underneath my fingertips and finally moved them lower. I didn´t have a certain intention, but I paused all of the sudden, when Connor broke the kiss and gulped, his eyes closed. I had come closer to the most sensitive part of his body and after his reaction, my hands slid back up again and came to rest on his chest.
"Sorry", I whispered, but Connor shook his head.
"You did nothing wrong." His voice was husky and sounded as if he had to concentrate on every single word.
Suddenly I remembered the night when he had touched me like I just had almost done it to him. I also remembered how it had felt and the thought alone made me shiver and feel those feelings again. But did it feel the same for him like it did for me or did a man feel different about it?
Hesitantly I took a hand from his chest, laid it on his thigh and when he didn´t show a reaction, I briefly touched his manhood with my fingertips. My gaze was fixed on Connor´s face so that I saw how he bit his bottom lip to suppress a groan that was still leaving his throat.
I breathed a gentle kiss on his lips, before I became braver and touched him again. Connor tensed and gasped, but I quickly realized that he was enjoying it. With closed eyes he leaned his forehead against mine and I felt his heavy breath brushing my face. Somehow I feared that I could hurt him, but I wrapped my hand around him and carefully began to stroke him. Connor moaned quietly and a smile appeared on my lips. Obviously he, as a man, was feeling the same way.
But I was taken by surprise a bit when Connor eventually grabbed my wrist and led my hand to his chest. Again I could feel his heartbeat, but it had quickened up considerably.
"Not like this", Connor whispered and for a whole while, neither of us moved. When Connor was also saying nothing, I had the short fear that I had done something wrong. But when Connor leaned his head back and looked into my eyes, I couldn´t see anything in his gaze that could have suggested it. With one hand he stroked a strand of hair behind my ear and finally involved me in a tender kiss.
Sighing I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt how his hands moved from my sides down to my hips. I almost expected him to turn me on my back, but before he was able to realise this assumed plan, I put my hands on his chest again and pushed him backwards on the mattress. Connor was so surprised by it that I didn´t need much strength to do so. Admittedly I was used to it and also enjoyed it to be the one to give myself to him on this point. But although I was a bit insecure, I just had discovered that Connor wasn´t the only one of us who was able to make the partner enjoy the touches of the other and to let go. I didn´t want to give this experience away so quickly.
Connor didn´t seem to mind anyway. He kept looking at me and his hands were caressing my hips, when I raised them a bit and finally let him slowly enter me, moaning quietly. It hadn´t been clear to me how much I really had missed it to feel him this way without being unable to enjoy it because I always had to think about Emily. But she wasn´t here and still someone was looking after her. Connor and I were finally alone and could enjoy it.
Slowly I began to move and like before I watched Connor´s reaction closely. His gaze was resting on me and the grip of his hands on my hips became firmer when he adapted to my movements. Soon our bodies were in unison to which I gave me entirely. My fingertips tenderly stroked over Connor´s belly and although I would have liked to close my eyes, I still kept them on my husband. I smiled when I saw how much he was enjoying our togetherness. His eyes were closed, his expression relaxed and his lips slightly open. I was tempted to bend down and kiss them but too much I was enjoying the feeling, to be able to make Connor let go and give himself to me. To enjoy it not to have the control about every situation. We were married for two years now and our wedding alone had been a step for Connor, which wouldn´t have been imaginable before, because we had only known each other for one year. Connor never had really accepted the closeness to people and that was still the case. But he was giving up this attitude when he was with me and admittedly it was still surprising me over and over again when he was even seeking for my closeness. Like today. With another man, I probably would have thought that this was natural, that he was a "only man with needs, too". But with Connor it was something special and it always became aware to me in moments like this and made me love him even more than I already did. His gaze he was giving me under half lidded eyes confirmed me in it.
Suddenly Connor sat up but instead of turning us, he wrapped an arm around me and buried the other hand in my hair. The passionate tenderness of his following kiss made me forget the light pain on my scalp when he did it a bit rougher than intended. But I wasn´t allowed to have a taste of his lips half as long as I would have wanted it. They left mine, brushed my chin and when I leaned my head back, he breathed a kiss into the hollow of my collarbone, before they left my skin and left me behind longing.
My eyes had already closed and the only thing I was able to do was to enjoy. To enjoy how Connor´s hands stroked over my sides down to my hips. To enjoy how the intensity of our movements increased until all of this befell me like a wave hit the beach. In only noticed in a corner of my consciousness that Connor found his release, too. He leaned his forehead against my shoulder, breathed soft kisses on my heated skin from time to time and loosened his grip around my hips only slowly. No one of us said a word, until Connor raised his head from my shoulder and I folded my hands in his nape.
I really got lost in the gaze of his brown eyes when he gently stroked my cheek. "I missed you", he repeated his words from the kitchen, but this time the longing behind it had been satisfied. A loving smile appeared on my lips and I ran my fingers through his dark hair, which he enjoyed with closed eyes.
"I missed you, too", I whispered and laid my lips on his. I felt how the corners of Connor´s mouth rose slightly when he returned the kiss and allowed him to pull me with him when he slowly sank onto his back. I came to rest on his chest and when he wrapped his arms around me, I didn´t want to withdraw from this position anyway. I broke the kiss, ran my lips over his throat down to his collarbone and finally bedded my head on his chest with a quiet sigh. I could listen to the beating of his heart and felt how his chest rose and sank with every breath and I with it.
"Should I become too heavy, you need to tell me", I murmured when it came to my mind that my position could make it difficult for him to breathe. But Connor pressed me closer with his arms for a moment and slightly raised his head to kiss my hair.
"I never will", he murmured and made me smirk. He could have said everything that either would have offended or complimented me. But this simple, neutral answer was typical for Connor and made him so lovable.
A pleasant silence spread between us. Connor´s hands caressed my back, while my fingers drew little circles and lines on his chest. We enjoyed the silence, the closeness to each other and the warmth of the other without thinking about when this time, which only belonged to us, could be over. But as much as I was enjoying it, there was one thing I wanted to say.
"Connor, could I ask you for something?"
I got a hum as an answer, which made his chest vibrate and caused a tingly feeling on my skin.
"Next time you´re missing it to be alone with me, we don´t need to fall upon each other like two hungry wolves." I raised my head and looked at him, a cheeky grin on my lips. "Don´t get me wrong. I really missed it to be with you, but sometimes I also want to spend time with you whenever we have the chance. Dressed."
Connor´s chest trembled again, this time because of his suppressed laughter. He looked at me and his lips curled into a smile when he put a hand on my cheek and tenderly stroked to my hair.
"I think we can do that", he said and with a satisfied smile, I let my head sink onto his chest again and enjoyed the caresses Connor was starting on my back again.
I would have fallen asleep, if he eventually hadn´t wrapped my leg around his hips and rolled to the side, so that I came to rest on the mattress. Connor fished for the blanket, spread it over us and pulled me closer, so that the tips of our noses almost touched. I smirked and reached out a hand to gently run it through his hair.
"But we can´t stay so long", I murmured and was pulled even closer.
"Long enough", Connor mumbled and if I had wanted it, it would have been difficult for me to get out of his embrace. How good that I didn´t want to.
