***TIME***
Dear Diary
The news about the Titanic is still in all the papers and all everybody talks about though it happened a while ago now. It was even worse for The Earl of Grantham, who is the Lordship I work for. Doesn't it sound posh, saying I work for the Earl of Grantham? Anybody who read that might think I am a very important person and I am best mates with his Mum, who is a cow urger. I don't think I have got that word right because I have never heard of Her Ladyship going down to the farms to hurry the cows along, but the other servants say cow urger a lot so maybe she does.*
His Lordship lost two relatives on the Titanic, which is very, very sad. All the servants took turns going to church with the family the first two Sundays after it happened because some had to stay in Downton Abbey to work. I had never seen the Lordships and Ladyships altogether like that and the Ladyships looked beautiful even all dressed in black and black hats. They were all at the front and we were all at the back by the doors.
The first few weeks I thought I must be a horrible person because sometimes I didn't cry about the Titanic and laughed about something. I went to see Mrs Hughes about it because after I got told off for saying bloody hell she said if anything was ever bothering me again I should knock on her door any time.
So I crept downstairs when Lizzie was asleep and knocked on her door and she shouted Come in, but she was with Mr Carson drinking wine. Mrs Hughes must have been worried I caught them drinking because she jumped up from her chair in fright and said, "Daisy! Whatever is the matter? Are you sick?"
I said, "No, Mrs Hughes, I'm not sick", and Mr Carson said, "Do you know what time it is, young lady?"
I was very surprised he didn't know because there is a big clock in Mrs Hughes' office, but he had his back to it so maybe that was why. I looked at it and told him it was ten minutes to midnight. He probably wanted to check the time on his pocket watch because he said, "Exactly?" and I said. "No, Mr Carson, it's only NEARLY ten minutes to midnight, it's EXACTLY nine minutes to midnight", and he looked at the ceiling and gave a big sigh so I think his pocket watch must have been wrong.
He didn't have a chance to say so, though, because Mrs Hughes took hold of both my hands and had me sit down by the fire that was still lit a bit from me and Lizzie firing it up this morning and looked quite cosy, and said, "Would you mind leaving us for a little while, Mr Carson?"
She usually says Charles when she thinks no one hears so I think they were trying to be impeccable – I looked up that word in the big dictionary after Mr Carson said it – in case they were in trouble because I'd seen them drinking.
"Now what is it, Hinny?" Mrs Hughes said after Mr Carson had gone and still holding my hands.
So I told her about being happy sometimes like I did this afternoon because I remembered to turn the oven off before anyone smelled the smoke so it wasn't like what happened yesterday when everyone had to leave the kitchen, and because I was happy I forgot all about those poor people drowning in the icy ocean, and it was wrong for me to be happy, though I was usually very sad and cried myself to sleep over them.
There was a tea-pot and jug of milk and sugar on the tray and Mrs Hughes poured us both a cup of tea with little roses on the pattern and even used sugar tongs like we were gentry and explained that while it was only natural to feel sad over such a terrible, terrible tragedy, I couldn't let it take over my life. She said I had a lot of empathy, which means caring about others (she didn't need to look it up in Mr Carson's dictionary) and bad things happened to people as well as good things, but I couldn't let bad things be all I ever thought about, I must think about good things too.
I felt much better after talking with Mrs Hughes and I offered to wash the tea things like I usually do (though I don't usually have tea with Mrs Hughes!) but Mrs Hughes said she would see to everything and I must go to bed.
"I won't let ANYONE know about the wine," I said before I left and Mr Carson came back and Mrs Hughes said, "Why, thank you, Daisy!" and laughed so she must have been very glad I said that. But Mr Carson just looked at the big clock again and sighed so he must have still been upset about his pocket watch telling him the wrong time.
I heard Mrs Hughes say to Mr Carson "Poor Mrs Patmore!" and Mr Carson say. "She certainly has my sympathy in that kitchen, Elsie."
I don't know why they felt sorry for Mrs Patmore. I think it might have been because they must have decided they were going to drink the whole bottle of wine and there wouldn't be any left for her to put in the beef bourguignon tomorrow.
A/N: *Daisy of course has misheard the word Dowager.