You thought I missed my deadline on the new chapter, didn't you?
Well, happy... whatever day it is today.
"Hey Steven, you got your mobile data on?"
"…Yeah?"
"Can you share it? I'm all out."
"Okay." – Steven told him. "But no videos."
"What am I supposed to do then, check my e-mails?" – Ben protested.
"We need that internet to navigate, Ben!"
"Fine, fine." – Ben rolled his eyes.
Steven looked over Ben's shoulder at his phone. He really was checking his emails. "Fanmail, sponsorship, sponsorship…" – Ben muttered under his breath. "Hey, look at this." – he then nudged Steven, who was already looking anyway. "It says, "You're invited on the Coast to Coast show, hosted by Space G-""
"What's the one above it?" – Steven pointed out. Ben's attention turned to that instead. "It looks like it says that…" – Steven started reading.
"I'M BEING SUED?!" – Ben yelled the shock.
"WHAT?" – Steven yelled too.
"Dear Mr. Tennyson, yadda yadda, on behalf of Planetary Studios… rightful creator Tim Dean… who the hell is Tim Dean?" – Ben muttered in disbelief as he skimmed over the lawsuit. "Super Alien Hero Buddies Adventures… Wait. I know what this is." – Ben said and facepalmed, his shock immediately turning to anger. "THEY RIPPED ME OFF AND NOW ARE SUING ME FOR IT?!"
"Uh, this guy?" – Steven showed him on his phone, having boogled Tim Dean and his show.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's him alright. I saved this ungrateful jerk and he's suing me for his crappy rip-off cartoon of my aliens. So now what the hell am I supposed to do? Can I sue them back?" – Ben yelled, bloodthirsty for revenge.
"Maybe get a lawyer?" – Steven sheepishly suggested, though, that was pretty obvious.
"Yeah, you're right. Okay, I need a lawyer." – Ben said to ground himself. Saying it out loud felt more like he was in control of the situation. "I swore I'd never do this again, but…" – he mumbled as he reluctantly activated the Omnitrix's communicator function.
"Uh, hey, Chadzmuth, I need your, uh…" – Ben hesitated at saying the word "expertise". "I want you to represent me on a case. No, it's not the Galactic Court, it's just Earth court. Can you- HOW MUCH?!" – Ben suddenly yelled to the surprise of Steven. "DO YOU THINK TAYDENITE CRYSTALS GROW ON TREES?!" – Ben argued in frustration and hung up.
Steven, meanwhile, was watching a clip from the Super Alien Hero Buddy Adventures show. For research.
"Ye will think again before crossing the Super Hero Alien Buddies, wee laddie." – the show's version of Four Arms told a villain whose theme was throwing bowling balls.
"Why is Fourarms Scottish?"
"Never mind that, how are they suing me over using the likeness of my aliens that THEY stole from ME?!" – Ben yelled again, and called someone else on his phone. "Hey, Gwen?" – he said as the call got through. "…Dolyn?" – he added impatiently. "Yeah, your dad is still a lawyer, right? What do you mean, he's on vacation? Who goes on vacation in January? Well, when will he be back? Oh, never mind. Forget it." – Ben said in frustration and hung up again.
"So, uh… where are we gonna find a lawyer now?" – Steven asked.
"I'LL TAKE THE CASE!"
Ben and Steven stood in a law office that looked completely normal, except for maybe the large bird cage in the corner. And across the desk sat their lawyer, a tall man in a dark grey suit and a chiseled jaw, who would look completely unremarkable if not for the bird-like cowl he was wearing over his head and the pair of wings growing out of his back. Next to him, sitting on his desk, was a purple falcon, notarizing a document on a typewriter.
"Harvey Birdman, former superhero, currently attorney at law." – the lawyer told them.
"Um… Yeah, Steven Universe, Ben Tennyson. We, uh… we all introduced ourselves already. Not even two minutes ago." – Steven pointed out.
"Heh! Of course. Don't worry, I have a lot of legal experience with superheroes, on both sides of the bars."
"So, uh, what's with the eagle?" – Ben pointed at the bird at the typewriter. The bird, offended, tried to bite his finger off with a loud "CAW!"
"You mean Avenger? He's a falcon. He's been a loyal partner and friend to me ever since my superheroing days, and he's saved my life many times over."
"And now you're having him type on a typewriter? Can't you get him a laptop or something?" – Steven asked him as he looked at the falcon from up close. Avenger looked at Birdman in anticipation of his response.
To that, Harvey had no comment. "So, what is it that you're being sued over? Injuries?" – he then asked Ben
"Uh, no." – Ben said.
"Collateral damage?"
"Not this time." – Ben added quickly.
"Mass casualties?" – Birdman asked completely casually.
"What?" – Steven asked with concern.
"Or maybe you punched the lights out of a supervillain so hard that you've crippled them for life and now they're seeking damages?"
"Wait, they can do that?" – Ben asked. "But no, It's actually a TV show." – Ben said before Birdman could interrupt him.
"Ah, showbiz. That place is full of cutthroats, and, uh…"
"Vultures?" – Ben interjected.
"Uh… sure." – Birdman answered. "But you have to keep your eyes on the prize, like a…"
"Hawk?" – Steven said this time.
"I suppose. But we're not afraid to take on big Hollywood corporations like that, because we're not…"
Avenger turned his head towards them.
"Yellow?" - Ben interrupted again.
"What is it that you two want?" – Birdman said flatly.
"This stupid cartoon is suing me because they claim I based my alien transformations off that show." – Ben explained.
"And you… didn't?" – Harvey asked.
"They're ALIENS!" – Ben yelled, startling Avenger. ("Caw!") "How would actual aliens be ripping off a stupid show? Of course, I didn't!" – Ben told Birdman.
"Hey, Harvey, here's the ointment you wanted for the rash on your b…" – a new figure entered the room, but stopped once he saw clients in Harvey's room. "…ass" – he finished, and tossed it to Harvey. Avenger, the falcon, swooped in and caught it.
"Yes, for my… bass." – Harvey repeated awkwardly.
Ben and Steven looked towards the door. It was a teenage boy, around their age, wearing a spandex suit with a pink knit sweater over it, as well as a cowl similar to Birdman's, but his wings seemed to be made from cheap plastic instead of being real.
"Who's this?" – Ben asked Harvey.
"That's Peanut, my intern."
"I thought I was your clerk for all these years?" – Peanut asked him.
"Clerk, intern, assistant, whatever. We still don't pay you." – Birdman pointed out.
"But I do get the college credit, right?"
"Well…"
Avenger shook his head. "Caw!"
"Okay, so can you help us, or no?" – Ben interrupted their conversation.
"Well, can you show me your thing?" – Birdman asked him.
"That's what she said." – Peanut sniggered.
"You mean, my Omnitrix?"
"Yeah, show me the alien form they're suing you for."
"Well, it's 3 of them." – Ben said as he activated the Omnitrix. "This is one." – he said as he transformed into Heatblast. As he did, the building's smoke signal went off. Steven, realizing what was about to happen, summoned his shield on top of him to use as an umbrella. Avenger swooped in and landed on Steven's hair, sheltering himself.
Indeed, the room's sprinkler system activated, drenching Harvey wet and making his wings soggy. None of it reached Heatblast or Steven, though.
"I see." – Birdman said unamusedly. He flapped his wings to dry them off, spraying the others as Ben detransformed. Though, the falcon didn't leave Steven's hair.
"Birdman!" - someone kicked the door open. "Your office is a mess! What am I paying you for?" - he said loudly. It was a blonde man wearing a tuxedo and an eyepatch, the law firm's owner - Phil Ken Sebben. Even though he was talking to Harvey, every word that came out of his mouth was so loud, it always felt an announcement for the whole room.
"Uh… to win cases?" - Harvey told him.
"Exactly! You can't sit around cleaning your office all day, not when there are clients to defend!" - Phil told him.
"Hi, Mr. Sebben." – Steven greeted Birdman's boss.
"Ken."
"Okay, um, Ken." – Steven promptly corrected himself.
"It's Phil, kid."
"Okay… I'm Steven Universe. This is Ben Tennyson" - Steven awkwardly introduced himself and Ben, and held out his hand to shake it.
"Nice to meet you, kid." - Phil said while looking three feet to the right of Steven, where Peanut was standing, grabbed Peanut's hand instead of Steven's and shook it. "Trust me, stick with Sebben & Sebben. You won't regret it!" Steven eyed Phil's eyepatch. His vision was probably all messed-up, so Steven didn't say anything in order to not come off as rude.
"I've been regretting it for years." - Peanut said while Phil was shaking his hand violently enthusiastically.
"Who said that?" - Phil looked three feet to the right of Peanut.
In the meantime, Ben was showing the Super Alien Hero Buddy Adventures cartoon to Birdman.
"See, why couldn't you have used the four-armed fellow, or the little doggy, instead of making a mess of my office?" - Harvey asked Ben.
"Because the doggy would have crapped on your floor." - Peanut pointed out.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Doggy style." - Phil said.
"So, you're the kid from the planet of hot alien warrior babes, right?" – Peanut creepily whispered over to Steven.
"Uh… yeah…?" – Steven awkwardly answered.
"So what's a guy to do around here to see some of that action?" – Peanut pressed on.
"I don't think you're gonna get any "action" with that attitude, dude." – Steven told him. In fact, he got strong Kevin vibes from this exchange.
"Ooh, is that real diamond?" – Peanut asked, immediately shifting topics and pulling Steven's shirt up to see his gem. "I bet that would fetch a pretty penny…" – he said while inspecting it with a jeweler's loupe that he had produced out of nowhere.
"Forget it." – Steven told him, fed up with his antics.
"So, there I was at Planetary Studios with my cousin…" – Ben was meanwhile explaining the situation to Birdman – "…this was a couple months after I found the Omnitrix, you know, my alien watch, and suddenly this stupid thing was everywhere! I couldn't escape the merch and the ads, and what's worse is that everyone confused me for that show! People actually called me Handy Buddy!"
"No thanks, buddy, I'm straight!" – Phil declared. "Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"And then we got into a whole thing with Kangaroo Commando, where his brother almost killed us all, including Tim Dean himself, and I saved his life! But he still ignored me when I told him to knock off using my aliens, and now he's coming to sue me!" – Ben continued his protest.
"Interesting. Wait, did you say Kangaroo Commando?" – Birdman asked him.
"Yeah. You know him?"
"Are you kidding? We were on the Justice Friends together!" – Harvey said excitedly.
"Weren't you on the lamer one, you know, the one that got embarrassed by the Powerpuff Girls?" – Peanut pointed out.
"AWSM, Justice Friends, whatever. Point is, we go way back."
"I KNEW he wasn't just an actor!" – Ben said excitedly. "So, you think we can win this case?"
"I don't see why not. It's open and shut!" – Birdman assured him.
Just then, the door opened and shut. A woman in her mid-twenties in a business suit entered.
"Um, dad, can I talk to you about the company name-change?" – she asked Phil.
"Birdman! Have you met my daughter, Judy?" – Phil declared. "She's taking over at Sebben & Sebben Worldwide while I'm focusing on the law firm. And we're gonna rename the firm to Sebben, Sebben & Sebben with her joining. That's three times Sebben!"
"Phil, I've known her for a number of years now." – Harvey pointed out.
"Good! So you're already well-acquainted. Don't get any ideas, though. That was your first warning." – Phil told the wall.
"So, how long is he gonna be there?" – Steven asked Birdman about Avenger, who was still sitting in his hair.
"Don't worry, he's just nesting in there." – Harvey assured him.
"He's… what?"
Meanwhile, Judy just noticed Ben and Steven in the office.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!" – she said repeatedly out of excitement. "Okay, uh, I have to go." – she told everyone, ran straight towards the window and jumped, shattering the glass.
"Is she okay?" – Ben and Steven asked, running towards the broken windowpane, but Birdman calmly pressed a button on his desk and a new glass slid into the window to replace the broken one. Moments later, someone crashed through the windowpane right next to it, swinging on a grappling hook. She was wearing a supersuit similar to Birdman and Peanut's.
Birdman sighed. "Ben, Steven, meet…"
"Birdgirl! Tuduruduru!" – Birdgirl imitated a trumpet announcing her arrival.
"How many of you birdpeople are there?" – Steven asked out of confusion. The falcon was still resting comfortably on top of his head.
"Way too many to count at this point." – Harvey commented with a deadpan face.
"BEN TENNYSON and STEVEN UNIVERSE here?!" – Birdgirl yelled in hyperactive joy. "Are we doing a team-up?" – she said all up in Ben's face. "Are you guys joining the Birdteam?" – she touched Steven's hair. "By the way, I really admire you guys' bravery of having no secret identity. I mean, if my real name got out, my life would be over!"
"Um… thanks?" – Steven politely told her.
"Look, Judy, right? We're kinda in the middle of…" – Ben was about to tell her about her interrupting, but just got interrupted.
"Judy?" – she asked, and gave a nervous laughter. "Who's Judy? I don't see Judy here! She had to go to, um… a shareholders meeting! I'm here to help out on the case!" – Birdgirl quickly shrugged off any suspicion. "Oh no! If they find out that Judy Ken Sebben is Birdgirl, and Birdgirl is Judy Ken Sebben, then my secret would get out to the larger superhero community, and leave me open betrayal attacks, information leaks and forced team recruitment! I have to stop them from finding out that I, Judy Ken Sebben, am Birdgirl at all cost!"
"You do realize you're still talking out loud, right?" – Ben asked her.
"Okay, can we just move on to the next scene?" – Peanut complained.
"Hear ye, hear ye. The Mighty Judge Mentok the Mind Taker presiding." – the bailiff declared to the courtroom.
In a puff of smoke, a humanoid figure appeared on the judge's pedestal, but with green skin, pointy nose and ears a devilish goatee and an equally devilish playful grin on his face.
"It is I, Mentok, the Mind Tak- wait, did you just speak?" – Mentok leaned down towards the bailiff, who remained static and emotionless. "Because I swear you haven't said anything for like six years… okay, nevermind that. What do we have here?" – he turned towards the defense, where Ben and Steven were sitting next to Birdman.
"Your honor, these are Ben T-"
"SHUT IT! I don't need you to tell me who they are, Harvey, I'm the Mind Taker! Bwooweeeeooop!" – Mentok voiced his own spoopy mind-taking sound effect. "These are… Steven Tennyson and Benjamin Universe… wait, no, goddammit. Okay, it doesn't matter, everyone knows who these two are. Now, why are they here?"
A long silence fell in the courtroom. Harvey looked at Mentok, who glared at him impatiently.
"Oh, you wanted me to… cause I thought you were gonna do your thing again…" – Harvey awkwardly said.
"If I bwooweeeooooped every mind in front of me, none of us would even need to come here today." – Mentok told him irritably. "Why don't I just mind-take myself then and determine the outcome of this case right now, then?" – he asked Harvey condescendingly. "Don't tempt me, Harvey! Alright, and the prosecution?" – he turned to the other side of the court.
"Dr. Myron Reducto, prosecuting on behalf of Tim Dean and Planetary Studios." – a short, bald man wearing glasses, with some sort of technological pack on his back with a raygun attached to it spoke for the prosecution. The pack and the greenish skin tone strongly reminded Ben of Dr. Animo.
"Hey, what's that?" – Ben leaned closer to his gun.
"BACK OFF! I'LL MAKE YOU FUN-SIZED!" – Reducto frantically yelled as he pointed the raygun at Ben, his hand shaking nervously. He shot out of it, but Steven quickly protected Ben with his shield, so the ray got deflected, bounced around the room and hit one of the jury members, who shrunk down to 3 inches tall.
"Is that guy gonna be okay?" – Ben asked Harvey.
"Don't worry, that's normal here." – Harvey assured him.
"Ahem." – Reducto called attention to himself. "Permiss-"
"Yeah, go ahead." – Mentok told him before Reducto got to ask. "Mind-taking." – he explained as everyone stared at him. "Yes, I do actually know what you're all thinking right now, Steven Universe. What part of Mentok the Mind Taker did you not understand?" – he turned to Steven specifically. Steven gulped. "Now shut your claptrap or else I'll bweeeoop your mind into someone's BUTT!" – Mentok continued.
"How am I supposed to shut my mind?" – Steven whispered over to Ben, who shrugged.
"Hi, Mentok!" – Judy waved her hands. "By the way, Meredith says hi!"
"Just because you employ my daughter, Ken Sebben, doesn't mean I'll go easy on your cases! As a judge, I am unfalteringly impartial" – Mentok self-importantly told her. "Now, hurry up, already, I have movie tickets after this and I got the good seats for once. It's the only thing I can't mindtake to know the ending." – Mentok explained.
"Ben Tennyson." – Doctor Reducto began his opening speech as he walked out into the center of the courtroom. "The so-called Ben 10. Threat to some, menace to others. He's slimy. He's creepy. He's fast. He's strong. He's every shape and…" – Reducto gulped. "…size." – he said, his voice trembling. "He can make himself as… as big as several hundred feet, or as tiny as a single cell."
"Um, actually…" – Ben interjected.
"SILENCE, SHAPESHIFTER!" – Reducto turned to him again, his whole body trembling, but didn't shoot this time. "As I was saying… since Ben Tennyson can take the form of anything he wants, what's stopping him from turning into YOU?" – he pointed at a random jury member. "or ME? Or YOU, your honor?" – he pointed towards the Judge's tribunal.
"Yeah, I probably might have a Mentok in here somewhere. I can barely even work this thing, though." – Ben started fiddling around with his Omnitrix.
"Four Arms! He's gonna go Four Arms, it's in his mind!" – Mentok yelled excitedly, awaiting for his prediction to come true. However, as Ben hit the dial, he turned into a viscous shape of green slime instead. "AAAAAAAAAAH!" - Reducto yelled and started running in fear as he saw Ben's shape grow in size.
"You were saying?" – Harvey looked at Mentok.
"HEY! MY MINDTAKING IS NEVER WRONG!" – Mentok declared in anger.
"No, I was going for Four Arms, but I got Goop."
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Goop." – Phil laughed.
The bailiff zipped up his pants.
"You trying to pull a fast one on me, Mentok the Mind Taker?" – Mentok yelled at Ben.
"This thing has a mind of its own!" – Ben explained to Mentok as he detransformed.
"Well, why didn't you tell me that?" – Mentok whined.
"I thought you were supposed to be the Mind Taker!" – Ben objected.
"Ughh, okay, fine. Just call your witnesses or whatever. I'm already missing the previews. Bweeoop." – a disgruntled Mentok told him.
"Sure! I got loads of videos of Ben transforming into the aliens used in the show!" – Jimmy Jones eagerly told the court after being called to the witness stand.
"And do any of them predate Mr. Dean's oldest sketch of Fiery Buddy, made on May 30th of that year, huh, "short stuff"?" – Reducto condescendingly asked the boy.
"I, um… Let me check…" – Jimmy searched through his phone. "The oldest one I got of Heatblast is him saving a town called Sparksville from a giant planetarium attacking on June 7th… This doesn't make any sense! How did you find out about him a week before I did?!" – he asked Tim Dean.
"So you can't prove that the defendant had access to that form before my client pitched the series to Planetary Studios. No further questions, your honor." – Reducto self-satisfyingly told Mentok.
"Oh, come on! There's an entire planet of those guys out there in space! Surely they didn't rip that hack off, too!" – Ben protested.
"Name?"
"Alan."
"First name?"
"Oh, you meant… Alan is my first name. Last name's Albright." – Alan said as he stood on the witness stand in his pyronite form, very careful not to burn anything.
"Mr. Albright, you are a…" – Harvey started, but forgot the word.
"Pyronite." – Ben whispered to him.
"…Pyronite, correct?" – Birdman continued.
"Of course. I mean, how many other people do you know with their heads on fire?"
"And would you say, that… this image here, Exhibit A…" – Birdman pointed to a sketch of Tim Dean's Fiery Buddy – "is an offensive misappropriation of your culture?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, he breaks into rapping every couple sentences. I mean, I don't know about offensive misappropriation, but I cringe every time I imagine the out-of-touch white guy writing these lines, you know?" – Alan shrugged.
"And so, since we have proved that the Pyronites are an actual species of aliens that exist outside of Ben Tennyson's transformation, I move this case be thrown out immediately!" – Harvey triumphantly yelled. "No further questions, your honor."
"Hold on a second, hotshot. Prosecution, the witness is yours." – Mentok pointed out.
"Tell me, Mr. Albright… how often are you a pyronite?" – Dr. Reducto asked him.
"Um…" – Alan hesitated to say.
"And how long have you actually been a pyronite?" – Reducto continued.
"Because according to these Plumber documents we cross-referenced during discovery, you're an artificial alien, hybridized over a year after Ben Tennyson even acquired the Omnitrix in the first place!" – Reducto triumphantly declared.
"How the hell do they have access to top-secret Rooter files?!" – Ben whispered to Birdman, who shrugged. "Aren't you supposed to know about this?"
"And therefore, I demand this witness testimony be struck from the record!" – Reducto demanded.
"Do something!" – Ben yelled at Birdman.
"Uh… objection!" – Birdman yelled.
"On what grounds?" – Mentok inquired.
"I, uh…"
"Overruled. Next witness!"
"You're a terrible lawyer." - Ben said, disappointed.
"Now, you might ask yourself, did Ben Tennyson really rip off Super Hero Alien Buddy Adventures or not. You may ask yourselves if it was the other way around. But only when you look deep within your souls will you start asking the truly important questions – like what the heck is the deal between Handy Buddy and the Bowling Ball bandit?!" – Ronaldo started explaining. "I mean, in Season 1, they have a pretty simple hero/villain dynamic, but season 2 onwards, you start to notice that the two rivals slowly form a begrudging mutual respect towards each other, acknowledging their opponents' skills while remaining true to their ideological disagreements about good and evil. In Season 4 episode 16 we even see the two of them share a friendly game of bowling when they're not fighting. So, why, and I ask you, Tim Dean, WHY is the status quo reset in season 5 onwards and the two of them make no allusions to their friendship, only ever fighting each other with animosity like in Season 1? As a hardcore SHABA stan, proven here by my Buddysona…" – Ronaldo showed everyone a crude drawing that he made - "…we demand to know what caused this sudden shift in character, and will it be explored in a spinoff series or a comic continuation, or do we have to rely on the cheaply gratifying fanfiction?!" – he pointed at Tim Dean, sitting there at the prosecutors' table.
"Is this guy for real?" – Mentok asked the defense, bored out of his mind.
"Yes." – Steven thought, equally fed up with Ronaldo, and since him thinking it was enough for Mentok to hear it, he didn't even have to say it out loud.
"Name?"
"Elliott, the Deadly Duplicator. That's Elliott, with two Ls and two Ts." – an old man wearing glasses testified.
"And as the Deadly Duplicator, can you tell the difference between an original and a copy?" – Harvey asked him.
"Of course. That's the most important part of the job." – Elliott said pridefully.
"Then you would have no problem making that distinction between these two?" – Harvey asked as he showed two photos. One was a newscast freezeframe featuring Fourarms lifting a car while people were running away in terror. The other was the cartoon where Handy Buddy was fighting the Bowling Ball Bandit.
"Those two are literally one and the same." – Elliott concluded.
"Wrrrrghhhrahwrr. Wrooooooargh. Khnurrrh." – a vulpimancer testified at the witness stand and then took a bite out of the wooden structure with a big CHOMP.
"Uh… did you get that?" – Birdman asked the court stenographer.
"Don't worry, I speak vulpimancer." – Mentok pointed out. "He says his name is Wurgh the Child Mauler and he has no idea what a cartoon is since he has no eyes. Duh."
"Wait, you actually understand the language?" – Ben asked, amazed.
"That was a language?" – Steven asked Ben.
"Yes, vulpimancer was my elective for two semesters at space community college- OF COURSE I DON'T SPEAK VULPIMANCER, ARE YOU CRAZY? I merely mind-took the pooch. Bwooooweeeoooop!"
"I don't know much about them being aliens…" – Abel North, A.K.A. Kangaroo Commando said at the witness stand – "…but I do remember being saved from my brother's madness by creatures from Tim's show. Of course, I recently heard about Ben Tennyson and his aliens, and yeah, that probably seems to be the case."
"He did it." – Kangaroo Commando's villainous brother, Kane North testified.
"Did what?" – Birdman asked him to clarify.
"Whatever Tennyson's accused of, he did it." – Kane told him.
"Oh, and I think I also even saw Ben Tennyson there." – Abel continued his testimony. "I mean, all I saw was a kid, I didn't see him actually turn into aliens… but I think that was him. Yeah." – he added.
"You said it yourself back then that they were animatronics from MY show!" – Tim Dean yelled at him from the prosecution's table.
"THE ANIMATRONICS FROM YOUR SHOW COULDN'T EVEN GIVE OUT BALLOONS!" – Ben yelled at him. "I SAVED YOUR LIFE, TIM DEAN!"
"Order! Order in my court!" – Mentok banged the brain-shaped judge's gavel. "Calm down, or I'm sentencing you to guilty right now. Both of you." – he told Ben and Steven.
"What did I do?" – Steven objected. "I'm not even on trial here!"
"Way to throw me under the bus." – Ben sarcastically remarked.
"Didn't you say you were an impartial judge?" – Steven asked Mentok.
"That's it. Your mind is out of here. Bwooooweeeooop." – Mentok held his one hand out towards Steven, as if reaching for it, and momentarily, Steven's body fell limp on is chair.
"What did you do?!" – Ben yelled.
"HFFFFF!" – Steven loudly inhaled, coming back to his senses. "Was that it?" – he confidently asked Mentok.
"Wh… how did you?" – Mentok said in disbelief.
"Looks like Mentok isn't the only one with psychic powers. Meet Steven, the Mind Hopper!" – Steven challengingly declared.
"You can do that?" – Ben asked him.
"Yeah, I can astral project and swap bodies and stuff."
"Bwooooweeeoooop!" – Mentok tried again, only for Steven to come back once more. "Dammit!"
Ben hit the Omnitrix, and this time it transformed him into Brainstorm.
"Oh, more parlor tricks from you, Tennyson? I can tell exactly what you're thinking." – Mentok said. A short pause followed.
"Well?" – Brainstorm asked him.
"I… I actually can't." – Mentok said in shock. "What kind of clients are you bringing me here, Harvey? Do you want me to suffer?"
"Maybe if you acted like a judge instead of trying to mind-take everyone, you know…" – Harvey started.
"Guilty, both of you!" – Mentok banged his gavel.
"But…" – Steven started.
"Guilty!" – Mentok insisted.
Then, Brainstorm opened up his headplates to showcase his massively evolved exposed brain. At that sight, Mentok immediately started drooling."
"Bwooo- GAH!" – he tried to mind-take Brainstorm, but got short circuited. "DAMMIT! Bwooooweee- AAAH!" – he got shocked again. "Okay, we'll continue the trial as soon as you stop tempting me with that massive juicy brain."
Brainstorm hit the Omnitrix with his claw and transformed into another alien – a muscled-up bird-like brawler, Kickin' Hawk. Harvey, Peanut and Avenger looked at him wide-eyed and mouth open. When he saw Ben grow in size, Reducto started running in fear.
"See, Harvey, THIS is how you do a bird-themed superhero!" – Mentok pointed out.
"Hey, kid, you want a partner position at my law firm?" – Phil asked him.
Avenger gave out what was probably a falcon's mating call.
"Excuse me, do I get my parking validated here or…" – Kangaroo Commando, who was still at the witness' stand, asked, but got knocked over by Reducto, who was still running frantically.
"That guy needs a shrink." – Steven pointed out.
"SHRINK? WHO SAID SHRINK? YOU SHRINK!" – Reducto yelled as he shot Steven and shrank him down, but Steven shapeshifted into his original size again. "AAAAH! HE'S GROWING!" – Reducto yelled in fear.
Just then, a grappling hook crashed through the window, and Birdgirl crashed through a different window immediately afterwards, carrying a massive figure with her. It was a female tetramand.
"Hey, isn't that the Four Arms woman we saw in the Love Glove?" – Ben whispered over to Steven.
"Yeah, back in Empire City." – Steven told him.
"Well, hello, there." – Mentok said as he laid his eyes upon there.
"Your honor, I have with me a real, live tetramand, just like the one in Tim Dean's show, which proves that they are a real species of aliens, therefore Ben Tennyson couldn't have ripped off Super Hero Alien Buddy Adventures!" – Judy- I mean, Birdgirl triumphantly declared.
"Good enough for me. Guilty." – Mentok banged the gavel.
"What?!" – Ben and Steven yelled in protest.
"Not you two, him." – Mentok pointed his gavel at Tim Dean.
"ME?! FOR WHAT?!" – the animator protested.
"For appropriating and desecrating tetramand culture." – he said to impress the tetramand woman in the courtroom. "You get 1 day of community service."
"Oh. I guess that isn't so bad." – Tim Dean sighed.
"On the planet Khoros." – Mentok continued.
"Uh, what?"
"The tetramand planet. Oh, it's great this time of the year. Desert wastelands, two suns, war-torn borderlands and a fortnight-long day-night cycle. You'll love it there." – Mentok assured him.
"Wait, you can't-" – Tim Dean protested, but got poofed away in a "bwooooweeeeeooop".
"Alright, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" – Mentok turned to the tetramand woman. "Cause I definitely know what you're thinking. How bout we catch the movie together, and then you... show me what those hands can do." – he said as both him and the tetramand disappeared in another "bweeoop".
"Alright, fellas, looks like it's another win for creative freedom." – Harvey proudly declared as everyone was back in his office – Ben, Peanut, Birdgirl, Avenger, Phil, Jimmy Jones, the vulpimancer, Peter Potamus, Ronaldo, the bear and Steven.
"I have officially lost my faith in the US judicial system." – Ben said with disappointment.
"Still not the worst trial I've ever been to." – Steven noted.
Everyone in the room started laughing after this hilarious ordeal, and as they laughed, Avenger left Steven's hair, flied around the room and swooped in on Ronaldo, attacking him with his talons.
The End.
Okay, you were probably massively confused throughout the whole thing. Well, happy April Fools! It was a surprise crossover with Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law, a 2003 Cartoon Network/Adult Swim/Hanna Barbera show in the same vein as Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. I'd like to say that this was the Say Uncle of A Trip To Remember, but at least that was crossing over with a relevant sure that people were aware of. I don't expect most of my readers to know about this show, but as a little April Fools joke, I decided to treat myself. ALL of this is canon, though. Don't get it twisted. Hell, Say Uncle is canon too. There, I said it.
I already made it clear before that I wanted to do a shared universe of ALL the Cartoon Network shows, and this one is no exception. I could have probably used a show that's more deserving of a crossover, though. I'm not gonna do crossovers left and right, because that's not the main point of this story. But they do exist out there, and they're probably gonna pop up in other stories, if not this one. That's why I changed Generator Rex's cosmology and had it take place in the same universe as Ben 10.
As for Harvey Birdman, he's a Hanna-Barbera superhero from 1967 that got the comedy spinoff Attorney At Law in 2003, and each episode involved a different case with various Hanna-Barbera characters. Magilla Gorilla got kidnapped by radicalists, Secret Squirrel was arrested for flashing people, Shaggy and Scooby got arrested on suspicion of being high. Classic stuff like that. That's how I used Ben and Steven, though admittedly it was more of a Harvey Birdman episode featuring them than it was around. If you're wondering why the pacing of this chapter was so messy, with characters doing things randomly or for no reason, or how dialogue and scenes kept jumping back and forth chaotically, I was just being accurate to the show's style. And the villains and side characters from the show - Reducto, Mentok, etc, became relevant people in the courtroom, as well as other recurring HB characters. It was hard picking and choosing who'd get to appear. I really wanted to use Peter Potamus and X the Eliminator, but it had too many Birdman characters already.
Attorney At Law had a spinoff in and of itself about Birdgirl that took the tone in a completely new direction and while I tried to stick to Attorney At Law, I had some elements of Birdgirl in it as well.
Also, who would have thought I'd bring back the crappy cartoon ripoff? lmao
Now, I know I'm padding the word count, but I want to talk about the Future of this fanfic. It's almost a year old, and so far we've had Ben and Steven explore alien life in New York, visiting the Brainstorm planet, Ben unlocking his Gem transformation, a Gen Rex crossover and various appearances from Ben 10 and SU characters. Although, the whole thing has mostly been contained to Earth. From now on, I can promise to lean more heavily on the cosmic aspect of the cosmic/personal road trip, as well as more serialized and less episodic stories. 'Till next month, Shala out.