ACT VIII: Ryan, the Riddled Part 4: Punishment

Evangeline McSire, the future queen of Mewni, was awakened by the sunlight creeping in through the drapes. Holding up her hand to watch the light glisten off her diamond engagement ring, the Solarian warrior rolled herself over to rub her fiance's shoulder as she whispered into his ear. "My king needs to wake up."

The sound of his love's voice was enough to bring a smile to Simon's face as he sat up. Even three years after their trip to Earth, it was hard for the young king to believe that he was able to confess his feelings to the woman of his dreams. "Good morning, my queen." He whispered as he kissed her knuckles. "My love." He kissed her wrist. "My darling." He kissed her forearm. "My life." He kissed herbicep. "My precious." He kissed her shoulder. "My world." He kissed her neck. "My everything." At last, he kissed her lips.

"Don't you dare get me all hot and bothered, Simon." Evangeline giggled, gently pushing him away. "We both know what that leads to and neither of us have the time. Now, get dressed. You have an alliance to finish rebuilding, I have fifteen new trainees to whip into shape, and then we both have our wedding to plan."

"Yes, dear." Simon reluctantly moved away from his bride-to-be and went over to his closet to get dressed for the day. As he buckled his belt and adjusted his cufflinks, the shy king glanced at one of his predecessor's puzzle-cubes that he'd kept stored in the closet. With a frown, Simon picked up the toy and tossed it in the wastebin on his way downstairs. He didn't want to think about Ryan on this day.

Luckily, his disposition brightened as he heard four feet skittering towards him from down the hall. "Good morning, Daisy!" He cooed, happily. "Come here, Daisy! Where's my baby?!"

Daisy barked, playfully, as she ran circles around her master. The pitbull-boxer mix was a gift to the royal couple from a friend they had met in the Earth-dimension years ago. Knowing that Ryan would disapprove of keeping the animal in the castle, Evangeline had spent the first two years caring for her at her own home, but after Ryan was dethroned and Simon took over, the dog was given free reign of the entire Dragonfly castle. While most pitbull mixes wouldn't live longer than fifteen years, Simon was able to create a special potion that vastly extended her lifespan; she was now thirteen years old with no signs of her health declining.

"Good girl!" Simon laughed as she licked his face. As he continued towards the conference room, the shy king spoke to his pet. "Y'know, Daisy, I still can't believe it's been three years since I took over from da- I mean… King Ryan. I thought I'd be sad, but… I'm glad I testified against him. And now, I've managed to rebuild our alliance with the Lucitors, I'm about to repeal his stupid Riddle Day so no one has to be catapulted out of the castle anymore, and I'm just a few weeks away from marrying my best friend. I don't care about Ryan's approval anymore. Nobody's gonna make me feel insignificant ever again." While he was distracted talking to the dog, Simon accidentally bumped into a table. "Oh, sorry! Sorry!"

A few minutes later, Simon presented his finalized treaty to the Lucitor family, which both parties graciously signed with no arguments.

Meanwhile, in the Underworld

Ryan Dragonfly screamed in agony as his skin slowly regenerated over his burnt muscles. As a result of his trial, he was sentenced to three years of imprisonment in the torture pits of the Roachley estate. For the past week, the Roachley's had repeatedly dipped him in lava only to force his skin to grow back and dip him right back in. His magical physiology was the only thing keeping him alive, but three years of constant torture was finally beginning to wear him down.

"This is a historic moment in our family's history, Jack." Cersei cackled as she watched everything from her office. "Ryan is slowly losing his will to live. Soon, he will perish and his soul will be trapped here, forever."

"Hmm, I'm not so sure of that." Jack mused as he chomped on a cigar, studying multiple books at once with his five eyes. "Not unless we take action against him."

The Roachley matriarch arched an eyebrow at her son's statement. "What are you blabbering about, boy?"

"I've done a bit of research, mother." Jack explained with a sinister scowl. "Apparently, before his death, King Brian Dragonfly ordered his body to be buried under the Stump that gave him the magic scepter."

"So?"

"Haven't you noticed that none of the Dragonfly descendants who ever wielded that damned scepter have ever turned up in the Underworld after their deaths? Not even King Tiberius the Wicked who once sold his own soul to uncle Valkus!" Jack made his way to the window, taking great joy in seeing his ex-brother-in-law being tortured by the demons. "I believe that by placing his body into the Stump, Brian created a private afterlife for the kings of Mewni! But I have a plan to keep Ryan here. As long as that ribbon is wrapped around his wrist, Ryan cannot leave the Underworld, but a special clause in the contract that wed him to Jane declares that he will only be able to remove it if he completes a task given to him by a member of Jane's family. So all we have to do is give him a task that he absolutely cannot complete."

Cersei's lips curved upwards at her son's suggestion. "I'm listening…"

Twenty minutes later, Ryan found himself being escorted into Jack's office. The former king trembled from the constant agonizing pain he had been through over the past few years. "Happy birthday, Ryan." Jack hissed, sarcastically.

"Please, Jack… I'm sorry, alright…?" Ryan wheezed. "All I wanted was to break up with her. I never meant to kill her."

"And that makes it alright?" Jack sneered, bitterly. "That's supposed to just, what? Bring her back? Well, I've got some good news for you. You're getting twelve hours of bail before we drag you back down for your execution. We'll send you back to show you what you've missed out for the last few years, and then… kkkcht!" The demon dragged his thumb over his neck before unceremoniously teleporting his ex-brother-in-law up to the surface.

Cersei stepped out of the shadows. "You didn't tell him he could save himself from more torment if he said one nice thing to Simon."

Jack winked at his mother. "I know."

Back on Mewni, Simon was the first to sense Ryan's return. He pulled the paper bag out of his coat pocket and proceeded to breathe into it at a rapid pace. Once he'd calmed down, he snapped his fingers. "H-H-Hekapoe?!"

In the blink of an eye, the magic blacksmith appeared before his king. "Yes, your majesty?"

"Bring…. B-bring Ryan t-to my throne room!" He ordered.

Two more Hekapoe's spawned into existence and raced off to retrieve their disgraced monarch and bring him in. Ryan muttered to himself in annoyance as he watched the peasants go about their day. The offices that were once used to collect riddle answers had gone into horrifying disrepair, much to his fury. At last, he was roughly thrown to the floor at the foot of the throne, face-to-face with a growling dog. Evangeline pulled Ryan up to his feet and motioned towards the young man who wielded the scepter. "Presenting his most esteemed majesty, King Simon, the Shy."

"'Simon, the Shy?!'" Ryan spluttered, indignantly. "What kind of name is that for a king?!"

"The kind for a king who…" Simon took another deep breath before allowing himself a proud smirk. "Who was able to rebuild a broken alliance."

"WHO CARES ABOUT THE ALLIANCES?!" Ryan fumed, startling Simon. "It's Riddle Day and not a single peasant is trying to solve my riddle! Is it not bad enough that you testified against me in court and sent me to hell?! And why are you still wearing that ridiculous outfit?!" Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in disappointment. "You are an embarrassment. Now get off of my throne! Clearly, I need to fix all of your-"

"No." Simon interrupted, crossing his arms in defiance.

Ryan couldn't believe his ears. "What?"

"N-no." Against all odds, Simon stood his ground. "Y-you failed the kingdom. And I… I had to spend the last three years trying to make up for your… for y-your mistakes. The Magical H-High Commission made me King of Mewni, a-and I say… I say you have to pay for what you've done. A-a-and that - that's… final."

Ryan spluttered in disbelief. "Who in the hell do you think you are?!" He bellowed, earning himself a punch to the face from an unseen assailant. After the initial shock wore off, Ryan realized that he had been thrown to the ground from the impact. After massaging his tender flesh, he saw that his hand had been coated in blood; the punch had somehow cut his cheek.

"He is King Simon, the Shy." Evangeline sneered as she massaged the area around her diamond engagement ring. "And you will speak to him with the highest of respect."

Simon got up from his seat and proceeded down the steps towards Ryan, still hiding his face. "Uncle Jack told me that you're here for twelve hours. So I thought it'd be a great opportunity to have you do some humanitarian work to see how well I've handled everything… oh, and, uh… happy birthday."

And that was the beginning of Ryan's last day on Mewni. For the next six hours, he was dragged along by other workers as they tore down the decrepit riddle offices to make room for affordable housing complexes. It broke him to see his beloved holiday so readily cast aside like an infectious disease. While he was working, the citizens looked upon him with disdain and contempt; it had become common knowledge of what he'd done in the time he was away. However, he was soon called back to the throne room.

"I… I called you in here because…" Simon eventually had to resort to holding the scepter up to his face once again. "Ahem. Because I don't think you're cut out for humanitarian labor after all."

Ryan sighed in relief. "My son! I knew you'd come around! And not a moment too soon! Just put everything back to normal so that I - uh, we can get back to solving that riddle! Just like we always wanted!"

"No, Ryan." Simon replied, sternly. "I called you in here for a different assignment. Today, I am officially going to announce that I am repealing the 'Riddle Day' decree."

"What?!" Ryan gawked. "B-but nobody's solved it yet! You can't do this to me, Simon!"

"I already have." Simon held up a parchment with his signature at the bottom, detailing the complete cancellation of the dreaded holiday. "All I have to do is give this my official stamp of approval, and 'Riddle Day' will be gone forever. And since you care so much about public speeches, you're gonna announce my decision… for me."

Simon pulled a lever beside the throne, causing Ryan to stumble backwards until he found himself in a large wooden bucket. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You're catapulting me?!" He fumed.

"Yes." Simon pulled the lever further, sending Ryan flying out of the castle at an alarming speed. Due to his years of torture, the king was unable to activate his mewberty wings to cushion his fall. After a few minutes at the mercy of the winds, the disgraced king crash-landed somewhere on the outskirts of Dragontown. Ryan picked up his glasses with a quivering hand and placed them back over his eyes. The lenses were cracked from the impact, but he was still able to see out of them. And what he saw filled him with dread. He had landed in the middle of the Solarian training grounds, battered and weary before all the barbaric warriors to see him. A quartet of Solarians approached the fallen king, failing to hide their smirks.

"I thought we came out here to check on Ryan, the Riddled…" Krystal snickered.

"But that's… Ryan, the Rejected!" Jacob howled, causing his friends to burst out laughing.

"Ryan, the Rejected?" Katlin giggled. "I think you mean… Ryan, the Ejected!"

Ryan watched as the four warriors laughed and pointed at his expense. Normally, he wouldn't have been bothered by such childish insults - especially coming from people he considered beneath him - but with his cracked lenses their laughing faces had been multiplied. Coupled with his own family all but disowning him, the disgraced king of Mewni finally broke down in tears. The Solarians noticed this and stopped laughing.

"Whoa. Did we do this?" Krystal asked.

"I dunno." Lebrus shrugged. "Maybe our jokes were too mean?"

"No… it's all Simon's fault!" Ryan sobbed. "Ever since I came back, he's just been trying to get rid of me! He's even going to repeal my Riddle Day decree before anyone's even solved my ultimate riddle! I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment! Why won't he listen to me, anymore?!"

The Solarians had never seen Ryan in such a mess. Taking pity on their former monarch, the group approached him. Krystal was the first to speak up. "Y'know, I'm not Simon, but if I were in his shoes, I'd want my dad to appreciate my accomplishments."

"Yeah." Lebrus nodded. "Every kid wants to make their dad proud. They just wanna do it their own way."

"If you're just honest and tell him how you feel, then I'm sure Simon will listen!" Jacob agreed, earnestly.

"And remember; no matter what happens between you two, you'll always be Simon's dad." Katlin added. "And he'll always be your son."

Ryan's mind slowly processed what the warriors had suggested. A smile spread over his lips. "Yes… yes, that's right. That's right! Simon is my son! I've always controlled Simon, and I always will!"

Before the quartet of Solarians could respond, the ground split open and two demons popped up. "Ryan Dragonfly, we're here to escort you back to the Underworld." One of them declared.

"What?! But I still have six hours!"

"Count Jack has been monitoring your progress." The other one explained. "He doesn't see the point in wasting any more time."

Ryan pivoted on his heels and tried to get some distance between himself and the escorts. They chased after him, of course, unaware that he was leading them into a trap. "Riddle me this!" Ryan quickly aimed his hands at the charging demons. "I come in three forms, but this is my solid state, and when I'm hard enough, on me you can skate! What am I?! Answer; ice!" A flash of cold light shot forth, caking the demons in a thick, constricting layer of frost. They were now completely immobilized.

Ryan rested his hands on his knees, taking deep breaths as he glared into the frost-covered eyes of the demons sent to drag him back to the Underworld. "Simon…" He growled as his face slowly turned red. "Simon…" He clenched his fists and straightened his posture. "Simon…! THAT'S IT!"

Ryan marched back towards the castle like a man on a mission and a bat out of hell. "Who does that little crotch spot think he is?!" He fumed to himself as he forcibly made his way past delegates and guards alike. "He thinks he can just take over after all the hard work I've put in?! Oooooh! Well, he's got another thing coming! Oh, just wait til I get in there! I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind!"

Simon and Evangeline were in the middle of a meeting with the Magical High Commission when Ryan burst in. Simon could see the demon escorts, half-frozen and running up behind his predecessor to drag him back to the Underworld. All he had to do was distract Ryan long enough for them to grab him. "Ryan, I already told you; you're not getting the throne or scepter back. You're just a… a failure."

"Failure?! FAILURE?! Listen here, boy!" Ryan snarled as he approached the throne. Once again, Simon hid behind the scepter out of fear of his predecessor's outburst, with Daisy growling at Ryan as he got closer. Regardless, Ryan continued, using his magic to blow back his demon escorts. "I'll tell you who the failure is! Riddle me this; 'I am a sniveling coward! I am a pathetic whelp! I am completely useless! And I am beyond all help! Who am I?!' Can't answer it?! Alright, I'll tell you! The answer is the only person who has brought shame upon this family from the very beginning! Someone who doesn't even deserve to be called 'Dragonfly!' And that…!"

"If I were in his shoes, I'd want my dad to appreciate my accomplishments."

"Every kid wants to make their dad proud. They just wanna do it their own way."

"And remember; no matter what happens between you two, you'll always be Simon's dad. And he'll always be your son."

Those words echoed in Ryan's mind, stunning him into silence. He felt a knot in his stomach as his mouth went dry. Everyone stared in patient silence; even the two demons who were supposed to drag him back to the Underworld were curious as to why Ryan had suddenly paused. As the former king stared at his son, he felt his anger being replaced with disappointment in himself at the thought of blaming him for all of his problems. But after a few more moments of silence, Ryan decided not to waste his last chance.

"Th-that…" Ryan hung his head in shame. "That's... m-me."

Simon reluctantly lowered the scepter from the front of his face to look back at the former king. "What?"

"I… I'm the one who failed Mewni." Ryan cried. "You were right. I wasted all my time coming up with pointless riddles. I sent my own son away. I… I killed your own mother with my reckless use of the scepter. And I nearly destroyed our alliance with the Lucitors because of my selfish actions! The only thing I ever cared about was solving that blasted riddle! And for what?! Let's face it; we never accomplished anything of any significance while I was in charge."

Simon was speechless at Ryan's sudden display of humility, as were everyone else present. But then, Ryan smiled as he motioned towards his boy. "But here you are, just a few years on the job, and… you're already doing better than I ever did!"

Simon felt his eyes begin to water. This was, by far, the nicest thing his father ever said to him. "B-but-"

"I'm not mad that you testified against me." Ryan continued, unabashedly. He knew at this point, whatever he said wouldn't mean much to his child, but Simon deserved to hear him say it. "If anything, it finally made me realize just how brave you truly are. I'm proud of you, Simon. No…" Much to everyone's shock, Ryan bowed with the most sincere smile. "King Simon, the Shy. Goodbye… son."

Simon could only watch, helplessly, as the two demons opened a portal to the Underworld and dragged Ryan down the obsidian steps. At last, he found his voice. "W-wait! Come back!" He dropped the scepter and ran towards the portal as it began to close, but it was too late. Simon fell to his knees in despair, crying and clawing at the marble floor in a vain attempt to get Ryan back. "R… r… FATHER!"

Evangeline and Daisy ran over to comfort the shy king.

Back in the Underworld, Jack pinned Ryan against the wall in fury. "How?!" He demanded, furiously. "How did you do it?!"

"Do what?!" Ryan stammered in fear. "I'm back! Do with me what you want! Execute me and get it over with! Don't keep me in suspense!"

"What kind of sneaky trick are you trying to pull?!" A wall of hellfire burst up behind Jack. "How could you have known what to say to Simon?!"

"T-there was nothing sneaky about it." Ryan confessed. "I meant every word. I'm proud of him. He's a better king - no, a better man than I'll ever be."

Having heard enough, Jack extended his fingernails into claws and tore out the former king's throat. Suddenly, Ryan levitated into the air with an luminous aura surrounding him. The blood that had once been pouring out from his neck quickly rushed back in before the wound sealed itself.

"What are you doing?!" Jack gawked.

"I-I'm not doing anything! This isn't me!" Ryan stammered as the infinity marks on his cheeks glowed brighter than ever before. His body became transparent, painlessly fading away into nothingness. At last, Ryan Dragonfly disappeared, leaving the red ribbon that had once been wrapped around his wrist behind.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jack fell to his knees in defeat. "It's not fair! It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAAAAAIIIIRRRR!"

Back on Mewni

Hours after Ryan returned to the Underworld, Simon found himself at his desk with the 'Riddle Day' repeal still unfinished. Instead of giving the repeal his seal of approval, Simon had fished his father's puzzle-cube out of the trash and fiddled with it for hours. Despite what Ryan might have believed, Simon was able to change the cube into all fifteen of it's different shapes and match all the colors, expertly. Daisy had refused to leave her master's side ever since the afternoon, trying her best to console him with her company. Soon enough, Evangeline entered the room and made her way towards her fiance.

"Are you alright?" She whispered soothingly into her husband's ear. "You haven't said a word since this afternoon."

Simon set the puzzle-cube aside to look up at his beloved wife. "I'm fine." He replied. "I guess… I guess I just didn't know my dad had it in him." The shy king glanced over to a photograph atop the bookshelf. The picture depicted Ryan happily carrying a two-year-old Simon on his shoulders, making the king wonder when it all went wrong for them. "I can't let this happen again." He decided. "I'm… I'm gonna be the best dad I can be to our future kids, Evangeline!"

"Oh?" The future queen blushed at Simon's bold declaration. "Is that a promise? In that case, we'll have to make sure we plan a honeymoon in the near future. But for now, you should get some rest. I'll join you in a moment after I talk Daisy for a walk."

Simon watched as his fiancee and their pet turned to exit the room. "Hey, Evangeline?" He called out.

"Yeah?"

"... I love you." He smiled, sadly. "I really do. You know that, right?"

Evangeline walked back to her fiance to deliver a gentle kiss to his lips. "Always, baby." She promised.

Once they were gone, Simon glanced at the pair of golden glasses he had once offered to Ryan as a birthday present. With a sniffle and a smile, he tore the repeal in half and took out the original 'Riddle Day' decree. "Even though you used to say so much mean stuff to me… I guess I still wanna make you proud."

With a white-out marker in hand, Simon crossed out the portion of the decree that said "participation: mandatory," and in its place wrote "participation: optional." And finally, the young king completed the amendment with his seal of approval.

Seven came before Ryan

(If you subtract the princess)

Add four more reigns to his domain

And then what gets vanquished?

To Be Continued!

Author's notes: Up next, Simon, the Shy! A.K.A. my favorite. As always, please read and review!