ACT XI: Comet I, the Chef Part 1: Breaking the Mold

Many kings of the past were famous for spending their free time studying in the castle's library or relaxing in the garden. But for Comet Dragonfly, no place was better than the royal kitchen. Ever since he was a boy, Comet would often spend hours among the chefs, learning everything he could about the craft of cooking. One dish he excelled at in particular was pies; a treat he learned to bake from his father, which he in turn learned from his own father.

Taking advantage of the fully stocked kitchen, the king gathered all of the red solanaceas, crying dirt pearls, unsalted pig-goat fat, flour, and plant soup he would need to prepare six pies. The first pie was reserved for his pregnant fiancee, fellow chef Lazuli Marmalade. She had been craving Comet's pies every morning since they'd heard the good news. "Good morning, love." He whispered as he happily kissed her on the lips. He then gave an even softer kiss on her plump belly. "Good morning, son."

"Silly." Lazuli giggled before accepting her breakfast pie.

The next pie was left outside Prince Etherio's room. The king's younger brother rarely spoke to Comet anymore, but that didn't stop him from reaching out.

The third pie was reserved for Comet's best friend and squire, Ramsey Nodrog - another chef who shared his king's passion. The squire had his own family restaurant where the two friends would often meet up whenever they had free time. Comet dug the key Ramsey had given him and made his way into the restaurant's back door. "Ramsey, old boy, ready for break-?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THIS CHICKEN'S FUCKING RAW!" The squire angrily shouted at the frightened cooks. "IT'S SO RAW IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S STILL ALIVE!"

Comet had known Ramsey long enough to realize that there was no talking to him right now. The king set the pie down on the counter with a note and cautiously backed out of the building. The fourth pie was reserved for his aging mother, whom he was sharing his own pie with. He met with her in the royal dining hall, where he set the sixth and final pie in front of an empty chair. "I added extra crying pearls for you, pop." He whispered, sadly.

Over the course of the next thirty minutes, Comet studied up on the Great Book of Magic while he ate breakfast with his mother. Usually, he would be studying spells, but in the mornings he only ever skimmed over his father's sketches.

Ever since he had been drafted into the role of king, Edward waged a crusade against the monsters in an attempt to find the monsters who had killed his parents. Despite the love of Azure and their two children, the search for his parents' killer ate him away for years. Coupled with his duties as king, he eventually died at sixty years old, leaving his oldest son to take the throne.

"Mom? Why did dad blame himself for what happened to grandpa and grandma?"

Azure stared at the half-eaten pie before her. "He and I went on our honeymoon on the night it happened." She explained, sadly. "He had insisted that we go to Earth instead of staying on Mewni. And, well… he just never forgave himself."

Comet sat in silence as he finished his pie. He knew that the situation with the monsters was dire, but as he gazed at a certain page in the Great Book, all he could think about was how much he missed his father. The page depicted a young Azure Saint, an elderly Simon Dragonfly, and an infant Comet.

The current king finished his breakfast and carried the Book back to his room. On his way up, he spared a glance out the window towards the Forest of Certain Death. Just the other day, General Milo Loveberry had single handedly captured two frog monster spies sent in by their general to learn of Mewni's weaknesses. While the Solarians were hellbent on executing the spies on the spot, Comet ordered them to be kept alive until he got to the bottom of the monsters' plans. It was from these spies that Comet learned that the monsters considered the actions of Edward provocative acts of war. One wrong move, and they might attack. Luckily, Queen Batra would only approve of an assault if she thought the mewmans were weak enough.

"If only there were a way to reason with the monsters." Comet sighed to himself as he set a chocolate pudding pie in front of the Great Book. After Indexia pulled it in, the king continued to skim through the chapters. "Forefathers, if you can hear me… give me a sign. Help me. Tell me what I need to do."

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Comet saw the lock on Eclipsine's chapter. Before checking to make sure none of the MHC were watching, the culinary king picked the lock and read through his ancestor's forbidden chapter. Purple smoke evaporated from the pages with every turn, followed by the faint smell of burnt sycamore. Nevertheless, Comet went on reading.

"Huh…? 'Monster dating scale? Good conversation starters for your new monster friends? How to be less of a jerk to monsters for jerks?' Hmmm… this could be helpful…" An idea slowly formed in the king's mind.

A few hours later, Ramsey had tossed his pie tin away and made his way into the castle's royal kitchen. The faithful squire gawked as he watched his best friend fuss about. "I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it!" He remarked, flabbergasted. "We're on the brink of war and you're in here baking a custard pie?! Don't you think you might have more important things to worry about than your fiancee's cravings?!"

"It's not for Lazuli, Ramsey." Comet corrected, cheerfully. "It's for the two frog women in the dungeon."

"You're giving them our food?!"

"I have a plan!" Comet remarked as he slid the quiche out of the oven and began sprinkling parsley over the top. "The only reason the monsters are even considering restarting the war is because they think we're vulnerable, right? That's why they sent those two scouts last night! Well, I'm going to serve them this delicious food and let them escape!"

"On purpose?" Ramsey scratched his head in confusion as he tried to follow along.

"That's right! And then they'll report back to their queen!" Comet smiled as he put the finishing touches on the pastry. "And if Queen Batra thinks that we have enough food to make our prisoners eat like kings, she'll think that we can outlast a siege!"

"And therefore she'll be willing to negotiate a peace treaty!" Ramsey beamed as he finally understood his king's plan. Wanting to help, the squire opened a cupboard and presented a tray with a lid before Comet. "But, begging your pardon, if you really want to impress them, you should add a dab of soft stinky cheese! I made it, myself!"

After his squire lifted the lid, Comet immediately pinched his nose as the burning stench flooded his nostrils. He moved the quiche out of the way just in time. "Hey! We're trying to trick them! Not poison them!"

Ramsey huffed, indignantly. "I don't know how you can call yourself 'Comet the Chef' when you have no appreciation for the savory things in life!"

Comet ignored his squire's remark and made his way out of the kitchen towards the dungeon. The two monsters in question were a pair of frog women who had been confined to the dungeon since they tried to break into the castle. Both of them had been boasting of their general's plan to conquer Mewni and return it to monster control. However, they stopped shouting when they heard the iron door creak open.

"Just follow my lead." Comet whispered to his friend. "Chow time, girls! I hope you're hungry!"

The younger of the two monsters leaned on the bars of her cell as she inhaled the aroma. "Is… is that what I think it is?"

"It's one of my best dishes!" Comet proudly smiled as he held his kitchen creation aloft. "Custard pie with cheese and bacon!"

"QUICHE!"

"No, Yulia! Be strong!" The elder frog monster tried her best to hold her sister back. "Can't you see?! It's probably been poisoned or something! They're trying to kill us!"

"But, Sasha, I'm starving!" Yulia moaned. "Our army has no food! We haven't eaten anything in days!"

"Oooooh, well that's too bad for you guys!" Comet gave a sly wink to his friend. "Stump knows that we certainly have a lot of food! Right, Ramsey?"

The squire cleared his throat. "O-oh, yes! A lot of food."

At last, the elder sister cracked. "Okay! I give up! Yes, yes! Give us the quiche!"

That night, the dungeon suffered its first "jail break" in five centuries. Comet spent the remainder of the evening keeping a frustrated General Loveberry entertained in the library. Milo sat in front of the fireplace with his arms crossed in anger while the king treated himself to a plate of meatballs as he read a book of his grandfather's poetry. "You should try volume three, Milo." He suggested, cheerfully. "It might improve your disposition."

Milo growled and stood up from his seat. "Your majesty, I say this with all due respect; have you lost your Stump-damned mind?!"

Comet's eyebrow arched. "That was with all due respect?"

"You want to risk the fate of your family's kingdom on food?!" The seasoned warrior fumed. "You haven't battled the monsters before! I have! They kill without hesitation! They bathe in Mewman blood! They are the vicious savages who will stop at nothing until Mewman kind is wiped from existence! And you think they will be willing to negotiate over a luncheon?!"

Comet let out a deep breath and closed the poetry book. "Milo, you have faithfully served my family for centuries, and I respect that. But we can't fight forever. The monsters outnumber us one hundred to one, and they know that. The only way to prevent more bloodshed is to ensure that the war never restarts. And the best way to do that is to - as the humans say - 'give peace a chance.'"

Milo scoffed. "Peace? With monsters? Impossible!"

Just then, Ramsey burst into the room. The squire gasped for air; he had been running for quite some time to deliver the message. "Your majesty!" He panted, tiredly. "The monster hordes have retreated back into the Forest of Certain Death! And the scouts have informed us that Queen Batra has cancelled all plans for an invasion!"

Comet smugly elbowed Milo, much to the general's annoyance. "Alright, Ramsey, we'll give this a few months to settle in, and then reach out to them to start negotiations."

"Yes, sir." Ramsey nodded, tiredly.

"Alright…" Comet rubbed his hands together as he began mentally planning a negotiation banquet. "Let's get down to business!"

To Be Continued!

Author's notes: Sorry it took so long to post this one. I recently moved to a new house and haven't had a lot of time on my hands. Also, yes, I know the Great Book says that Comet was married, had Moon, and divorced before she got the wand and became queen, but obviously I had to change that for my Comet. Also, according to the show's first episode, Mewni's tradition is for the future queen to take the wand on their fourteenth birthday, which means Comet must have been married and had Moon when she was just thirteen. That didn't make much sense to me. So either Daron just forgot, or Mewni has some very laissez-faire attitudes about the age of consent.