ACT XII: Mars, the Undaunted Part 4: Growing Pains
Hasty footsteps echoed throughout the halls of Castle Dragonfly, followed by the heavy breathing of the king. A blonde six-year-old boy with pink heart-shaped birthmarks on his cheeks and dressed in muddy clothes shrieked with unbridled joy as he ran from the kitchen to the foyer to the dining room to the ballroom, all while his exasperated father tried to keep up. Mars eventually had to stop and rest his hands on his knees. "Comet Galaxius Astro Celestio Cosmo Dragonfly the Second, you get back here and take a bath!"
"Neveeeeeer!" The prince's laugh echoed as he rounded the corner.
"Mars, when you grow up, I hope you have a son who is just like you."
Mars tiredly glanced up at the tapestry of his father as those words floated through his mind. "You… you did this to me." He grumbled.
"PIGGY-BACK RIDE!" Comet suddenly jumped onto his father's back, wrapping his arms around Mars' neck.
"GACK! Comet…! Get… off…!" Mars choked.
Fortunately for the king, the queen finally caught up and managed to pry the prince off of her husband's neck and proceeded to carry the prince under her arm towards the bathtub. Comet was always amazed by his mother's incredible strength. "Mommy? Are you super strong because you have magic?"
"Heh heh, no sweetie." Lake flexed her free arm, proudly smiling at her rippling muscles. "This is all thanks to the Johansen gene. Just wait; you'll get to be as strong as mommy, too, someday."
Thirty minutes later, Mars was finishing up a report when Lake carried a freshly cleaned Comet back into the room. "There." Mars smiled as his wife handed over son. "Now, don't you feel better?"
Comet hugged his father. "Hey, daddy? What're you writing?"
Mars pursed his lips as he looked down at his paperwork. "Well, I have to review the tax laws."
"Why?" The prince asked.
"Because people need to pay their taxes." Mars replied.
"Why?"
"Because we need taxes to pay for everything in the kingdom."
"Like what?"
"Um… like… fixing potholes. And… street lamps… and sewer systems."
"... why?"
"You're asking a lot of questions, son."
"He can't help it, Mars Bar." Lake giggled. "He's at that age where he just wants to learn about anything he can."
"Alright, well, let's talk about something else for a minute." Mars cleared his throat and pushed the paperwork aside. "Have you given any thought into what you want to do for your after-birthday?"
Comet's eyes lit up with delight. Because his birthday landed on Stump Day - the day reserved solely for worshipping the Stump that protected the first Mewmans - his parents celebrated his birth on the day after. And ever since he had been old enough to understand the concept, there was only one thing Comet wanted. "Yeah, daddy! I know what I wanna do! I know what I wanna do!"
"Well, what's that?"
"I wanna meet grandpa!" Comet cheered.
Mars arched an eyebrow in confusion. "You want to meet grandpa? You've already met your grandpa. Remember? You and mommy just visited him last month during game of flags-"
"No, daddy! Not that grandpa!" Comet pointed at the framed picture of his namesake on the desk. "That grandpa!"
"Oh. Oh…" Mars frowned, sadly, as he shared a worrisome glance with Lake. "Comet, I… I'm sorry, but you can't meet that grandpa."
Comet's face fell. "Why?"
"Because… he had to go away."
"Why?"
"Because he got hurt."
"Why?"
Mars began to cry and he hugged his child tight. "I don't know why."
Lake gently took the prince into her own arms. "Come on, Comet. Let's leave daddy alone for a while."
As his mother took him back into her arms and carried him out of the room, Comet couldn't help but look back at his father. It broke the little prince's heart to see his father so sad. "Mommy, why is daddy crying? Did I do something bad?"
"No, sweetie. It's not your fault." Lake promised. "Daddy just gets sad when he thinks about your grandpa."
Comet's curiosity was still the driving force in his mind. "Why?"
Lake didn't have the heart to tell her boy what had happened to King Comet, so she decided to protect his innocence with a little white lie. "Well, you see, grandpa got… really old. And, um, he couldn't take care of the kingdom anymore, so daddy and I sent him to… to, uh… a, uh… a grandpa farm. So that he could spend the rest of his life having fun with all the other old grandpas."
"Oh… well, why can't we visit him?" Comet couldn't help but ask.
Lake sighed, sadly. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I know how much you must want to meet your other grandpa, but… well, sometimes, the thing you want most is the one thing you can never have. Your daddy misses him a lot. But we just can't go see him. So try not to bring it up too much, okay?"
Despite his dissatisfaction at his mother's explanation, Comet silently nodded as she tucked him in for the night. As the young prince stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars glued to his ceiling, the painful image of his father's crying face never left his mind. But what made it worse was the thought that he was the cause of it by asking such sad questions. He had to make it up to his father, and he would at any cost.
The next morning, Mars woke up to the sound of rainfall. A tired sigh slipped through his lips as he realized that meant his son would be outside by now, playing in the mud. The king of Mewni got out of bed and dressed himself for another day of political obligations before he made his way downstairs to the foyer. But much to his surprise, Comet was just sitting on the couch; reading a book and devoid of any mud.
The prince looked up and smiled at his father. "Good morning, daddy."
"Um… good morning, Comet." Mars glanced back out the window. "I've got a lot of work to do, today. So… could you not get yourself too dirty today?"
"Okay." Comet nodded and went back to his book. While Mars smiled, patted his son's head, and went off to work.
Two years later…
Comet was only eight years old, but was determined to be the best prince he could be for his father. Every day, the prince would follow the king to all of his meetings, sitting quietly and listening so he could learn all about his future responsibilities. At first, Mars was worried about his son's extreme interest in studying, but he eventually became grateful that Comet wasn't turning out like himself when he was the boy's age. Mars would even catch Comet reading up on his family history; the political exploits of Crescento, the scientific breakthroughs of Skywind and Jeshica, the militaristic prowess of Solarius, the jovial adventures of Festivio, and of course, his own father's accomplishments. Although the young prince was a bit disappointed at the stunning lack of cosmic secrets in Simon's chapter.
Currently, the king and his son were spending time at Ramsey's restaurant to learn proper etiquette while Lake and Lazuli were shopping in Dragontown. The squire prepared a full meal consisting of appetizers, entrees, side dishes, drinks, and desserts for the sole purpose of teaching Comet proper eating habits for a prince. Mars had temporarily stepped outside to answer a mirror call from General Loveberry.
"From what my spies report, this Luna Avarius is amassing a private army in order to steal the scepter, my king." Milo reported. "Apparently, she kicked her family out of their own castle to act as a personal fortress. Just say the word and we'll take her out."
"No, I won't risk restarting a war with a preemptive attack." Mars decided. "Keep her under heavy surveillance and report everything to me first. Understand?"
"As you wish, your majesty." Milo nodded and ended the call just as Lake and Lazuli arrived.
"Hey, you.~" Lake smirked before sharing a kiss with her husband. "Is Comet handling Ramsey's lessons okay? Because if your squire called my son a 'fucking donkey' I'll rip out his throat."
"It's fine. Everything's fine. Comet is excelling at this." Mars smiled, proudly. "I mean, it's amazing, Lake. He's been taking all these lessons like a fish takes to water. And besides, you know Ramsey's great with kids."
To prove his point, the king led his wife and mother back into the restaurant to see Comet dutifully listening to the squire's lesson on how to properly eat the appetizers. "-and the most important thing to remember, is never let anyone classify you as someone who is H.K.L.P."
"What does that mean?" Comet asked, politely.
"Holds Knife Like Pen." Ramsey demonstrated by holding a butter knife as he described before holding it, correctly. "It is a practice commonly mistaken for upper-class behavior. When it is, in fact, quite the opposite."
Comet held his own utensils; perfectly mirroring Ramsey's actions. "Am I supposed to wait until everyone has been served before I start eating?"
"Only if the food is served cold." Ramsey clarified. "Although, usually you don't have to worry about that when you're part of Mewni's top monarchy."
Lazuli walked over to place a loving kiss on her grandson's forehead before taking her seat next to the squire. Mars was about to join them when he heard a knock at the door. The Royal Mortician's carriage had pulled up in front of the restaurant to deliver the former prince of Mewni.
"Good afternoon, Mars. I'm sorry I can't stay, but I have some important business to take care of in the Mortician's kingdom." Etherio set a teapot on the table before heading for the door. "But I brought you some tea to make up for it. I bought it from a merchant at the farmer's market."
Mars smiled and hugged the former prince. "Aw, thank you, Uncle Etherio."
After Etherio left, Ramsey poured five cups and placed them all in front of the guests at the table. Comet reached out for his own cup, only to have his hand slapped away by his father. "Not so fast, boy." The king scolded, lightly. "This is a good opportunity to teach you not to slurp."
"Yes, dad." Comet nodded, rubbing his hand.
Ramsey and Lazuli lifted their own cups for the demonstration. The squire held up the tray of sugar cubes and Lazuli held up two fingers. Once the duo stirred the sugar into their tea, they gently tapped their cups together and took quiet sips. Mars and Lake followed suit and tapped their cups against Comet's. The prince smiled as he quietly and gently blew into his cup to cool off the liquid before raising it up to his lips. But before he could even taste it, Lazuli vomited up a pool of blood and fell to her knees.
"Mom?!" Mars dropped his cup and rushed to her side.
Ramsey suddenly recoiled in horror, slapped the cup out of Comet's hand, and smashed the teapot. Lake lowered her own tea cup in shock as the squire fell to his knees in pain, coughing up puddles of blood. "Lake..! The tea!" He warned.
The queen immediately threw her cup aside and scooped her quivering child into her arms. "Mommy, what's wrong with grandma and uncle Ramsey?!"
"Ssh, don't look, Comet." Lake cried as she turned Comet away from the frightful scene. "Don't look."
A few hours later, Mars flew over to the Mortician's kingdom and angrily broke down the door. "ETHERIO!" He called out.
The castle's private guards backed away from Mars as he made his way down the hall. The king's mewberty form radiated with raw magic power with every step he took. He cornered his uncle in the castle's private library. Heartthrob tried to stand in his way, but Mars easily swatted her aside and stuck her to the wall with a magic net. The king used all six of his arms to pick up Etherio and pin him to the wall.
"M-Mars, what is the meaning of this?!"
Mars growled and threw his uncle into a nearby armchair. "That tea you brought to my family was poisoned!" He snarled. "My mother and squire are dead! And I almost lost my son and wife!"
Etherio stammered. "Oh, my Stump, I… I-I-I didn't know. I bought it from a traveling merchant-"
"Don't lie to me!" Mars boomed. "Ever since my father was killed, you've been pestering me to let you take over the throne so that I 'wouldn't have to worry about it!' But now, I'm starting to wonder if you'd do anything to get the throne!"
"Mars, how could you say that?!" Etherio gasped. "I am your kin! Your blood!"
"Then tell me the truth!" Mars ordered. "Did you know?!"
"Mars, I swear to you on my life!" Etherio desperately pleaded. "I had no idea that the tea was poisoned! I am your uncle! You can trust me!"
The king's face softened, slightly, and he returned to his natural form. "Okay. I trust you… but from now on, I'll have to be even more cautious if I'm going to protect my family." Etherio watched as his nephew used the scepter to conjure up two wristbands and hand them to him. "Here; one for you, and one for Heartthrob. These will detect any type of poison within your proximity. I've already made some for Comet, Lake, and myself."
Etherio forced himself to smile as he accepted the wristbands. Once again, his plans to usurp Mars had been foiled. But he decided that getting rid of that obnoxious squire and the boy's whore mother was good enough for now.
Four years later…
After her son's near-death experience, Lake insisted that she add traditional Johansen self-defense training to the prince's daily routine. Mars often found himself woken up at the most unstumply hours as Lake would get up to train their son how to protect himself. The king was initially reluctant to allow her to teach their son swordfighting, but relented when she promised they would only use inflatable swords. And even then, the queen and prince focused most of their training on hand-to-hand combat and building up his muscle mass.
As per his wife's suggestions, Mars would occasionally come with them to provide moral support and to see for himself that Comet wouldn't be hurt. Today, Mars was working on a deal to settle a trade dispute between two other kingdoms while he watched Comet bench press a fifty pound barbell. Any other parent would have been worried about their child hurting themselves with such a heavy load, but Mars knew that the boy's innate magical biology and the Johansen gene meant he would soon be able to lift much heavier objects in the future.
He was just finishing up his paperwork when he noticed a couple of Lake's brothers making their way outside.
"Good morning, gentlemen." Mars nodded, respectfully.
"Good morning, your majesty." Duke Andre "Giant" Johansen bowed in respect.
"We were off to get some breakfast, Mars." Count Marshal "Punk" Johansen smiled, cheekily. "You want us to bring you back a fruit salad?"
Mars blushed as his in-laws laughed at his expense, but he brushed it off. As embarrassing as it was to be reminded of the time he had to prove his love to Lake by subjecting himself to public humiliation, he never once regretted it. And fortunately, Lake's training hadn't negatively affected the prince's studies to take up the scepter. He loved his family with all his heart and wouldn't have traded it for anything.
But that didn't mean his extended family were incapable of annoying him from time to time. Case in point when Lake's other brothers and sisters stormed into the gymnasium to see their nephew. All talking over each other as loudly as possible, pushing and shoving to be the first one to speak to Comet. Lake tried keeping them back, but eventually gave up and let them at the boy.
Comet placed the barbell back on the rack, slipped his coat on, and waved at his family. "Hi, everybody. It's good to see you."
"Good to see you, Lil' Comet!" Duke Dwayne "Rock" Johansen beamed. "You working out with your mama?"
"Uh… uh-huh." Comet bashfully nodded. "She doesn't want me to have to rely on magic too much if I ever have to get in a fight."
"Aaaah, that's pretty smart thinkin', don't you think?" Baron Cena Johansen smiled before tearing his shirt from his chest to show off his pectoral muscles. "If you're gonna be fighting monsters, you'll need muscles like these, don't you think?!"
"Uh, well-" Comet was interrupted as his aunts and uncles began showing off their muscles.
"Or these?!" Duke "Stone" Austin Johansen grinned from ear-to-ear as he posed with his biceps, which caused the sleeves of his jacket and shirt to explode.
"Um-"
"Or these?!" Countess Nikki "Ash" Johansen proudly turned around in her backless dress and flexed her shoulders.
"Ah-"
"Or these?!" Duchess Chyna Johansen planted her heel on a nearby tree stump and moved her skirt to display her tight leg muscles.
Comet blushed from embarrassment. He had been exercising and training with his mother for four years now, and yet he still didn't look anything like the other Johansens. He was afraid that they would tease him for not being at their level and wanted to get away, but they had him blocked in. However, his mother stepped in.
"He'll get there." She insisted, proudly. "In fact, my little shooting star's already got some muscles! Go on, baby! Show them!"
"I-I don't know-"
"OH, YEAH, YOUNG NEPHEW!" Baron Randy "Savage" Johansen flexed both of his arms. "C'mon, Comet! Show us the fruits of your labors! Oh, yeah!"
The prince looked past the crowd towards his father, who simply smiled and nodded as if to say "go ahead." Blushing brightly, Comet reluctantly rolled up his shirt's sleeve and flexed his arm. Of course, his younger muscle mass was much more modest than that of his beefy uncles, aunts, and even his own mother. However, the prince was startled by the collective encouraging cheers his family gave him.
"Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Baroness Tamina Johansen praised and gave Lake a proud pat on the back. "Big sister's baby boy finally got some meat on them bones!"
"Somebody get him a license!" Count Hogan insisted as he gently squeezed his nephew's arm. "'Cause Lil' Comet's carrying some serious guns!"
"Can you smeeeeeeeeell what the prince is cooking!" Duke Dwayne cheered.
Comet blushed brighter at his family's praise.
Two years later…
At the crack of dawn, Comet sat up in bed with a determined gleam in his eyes; today was the day. He was fourteen years old now, and all those years of studying were finally about to pay off. Today, he would take the next step towards learning to become king by inheriting his family's magic scepter. As he got dressed in his best formal attire, he silently promised himself that he would make his father and ancestors proud. But at the same time, he was also excited to finally learn how to wield magic. The young prince had always imagined what kind of spells he could come up with ever since he was a boy.
After finally getting dressed, Comet hastily made his way downstairs to the castle's grand hall. Taking a moment to compose himself, the prince looked down at his pocket watch and sighed in relief that he was right on time for the ceremony; with three minutes to spare. Comet took a deep breath, opened the doors, and found himself facing all of Mewni's nobility. His father and mother stood at the far back, waiting for him, while everyone else silently watched the boy make his way towards them. Once he reached the foot of the throne, Comet knelt down on one knee, bowing in respect to his father.
Mars cleared his throat. "Comet Galaxius Astro Celestio Cosmo Dragonfly the Second. Son of Mars, the Undaunted. Prince of Mewni. Rightful heir to the throne. As per our family's oldest and noblest tradition, you are to receive the Dragonfly family's magic scepter. Passed down from generation to generation, this scepter has been a symbol of our legacy. Your legacy. If you accept this power - this responsibility - you will be trusted to guard it with your life. Are you ready to take the scepter?"
Comet took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, King Mars."
Mars continued. "Do you swear to use the scepter's magic in Mewni's best interest?"
"I swear." Comet nodded.
"Do you swear to use its power to protect your loved ones and forsake all selfish intentions?"
"I swear."
"Do you swear to honor the legacy of this scepter passed down to you by your father, and his father, and his father before?"
"I swear."
Mars smiled and held the scepter out towards his son. "Then by the power vested in me as the thirty-sixth king of Mewni, I hereby officially proclaim you heir to the throne."
Comet's eyes widened in sparkling wonder as he reached out. Gingerly wrapping his fingers around the hilt, he felt a surge of power rushing through his body. His heart-shaped cheek-marks shone brightly as his magical powers were finally activated. The scepter began to transform as well, taking the form that best reflected the prince's personality. The hilt shrank and a circular bell formed around the crystal, sprouting a small pair of wings and a gold crown at the top. As for the crystal itself, it transformed from a blue sapphire into a yellow zircon in the shape of a star.
Comet rose to his feet as he proudly looked down at the scepter in his hands. But his focus shifted back to his father once the king spoke up again. "Now, remember, son; this is a big responsibility. A power this great often attracts the forces of evil. You must keep it safe at all costs."
"Don't worry, dad." Comet bowed once more. "I can handle it."
Ten minutes later…
Comet looked on in horror at the small village he had accidentally set on fire with the scepter. The prince quietly tip-toed away to anonymously call the fire department, unaware that his parents had seen everything.
"He can't handle it yet." Mars sighed.
Lake rested a hand on her husband's shoulder. "He's young. Please, don't do anything rash."
"Don't worry, dear. I have a plan."
The king ordered his men to pack up the boy's clothes and summoned his son back to the castle. When the prince arrived, he was distraught at the sight of his belongings being loaded onto the Royal Dragonfly Carriage and he immediately assumed the worst.
"I-I'm sorry!" He cried, hugging his father. "It was an accident! Please, don't send me to St. Olaf's Home for Wayward Princes!"
"What?" Lake soothingly rubbed her son's back. "No, no, no, no, no, sweetie. We're not sending you there."
Comet stopped crying. "Y-you're not?"
"We're sending you to a safer place for you to learn how to use the scepter and study the Great Book." Mars explained as he looked up at King Simon's tapestry. "It's a dimension with no natural reserves of magic, but it has a rich history with our family. It could also be a good opportunity for you to make some new friends."
Comet gasped in delight. It had always been a dream of his to visit another dimension ever since he read about Skywind's own journeys. "Woooow… this is… this is so exciting!" He giggled. "This is so cool!"
"Now, now, remember, Comet." Mars lifted a stern finger. "This isn't a vacation. You'll be attending school while you're there, and I expect you to study the Great Book with Madame Indexia as well, understand?"
Comet immediately composed himself and nodded, dutifully. "Yes, sir. I won't let you down. I promise."
"Alright then, let's get going." Mars insisted.
"Oh, wait." Comet spoke up again. "What dimension are we going to?"
"Earth."
However, little did the royal family realize that they were being watched by a shadowy figure hiding in the bushes. The frog woman quickly made her way back into the Forest of Certain Death and headed for Castle Avarius where she saluted her diminutive kappa commander.
"Commander Luna!" She greeted. "I have just returned from Castle Dragonfly! The young prince has just received the scepter and has been sent to study abroad in the Earth-dimension!"
"Excellent! You have done well, Buff Frog!" The sinister kappa laughed. "Follow the boy to the Earth-dimension and bring the scepter to me! With such magic power in my grasp, I shall conquer all of Mewni! And then, the universe! And then…! Actually, the universe is probably enough."
To Be Continued!
The immortal monster
Will long be haunted
By the darkest spell of
Mars the Undaunted
Author's notes: If Comet II's behavior seems divergent to you don't worry. All will be revealed in the next chapter. Also, yes, I did name all of Comet's maternal aunts and uncles after WWE wrestlers. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!