AN: in honor of my one year anniversary as an author on fanfiction i've decided to update all my in-progress stories and to put up a few new ones. Hopefully, if i ever get writer's block, i can cure it by writing one of seven other stories.
Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan subtly wiped her tears.
The wedding was beautiful, but its elegance was not the reason for her tears. Nor was it joy or the love shared between bride and groom.
Kel's tears were born of a broken heart, of unrequited love. Jealousy burned in her heart. She feared her Yamani stone mask might crack from the force of her feelings. She desperately wished it was her standing at the altar, vowing to love him forever and be there for him in his time of need and gift him with many sons.
King Jonathan IV of Conte had stepped down, allowing his oldest son to ascend the throne, but only if he married first. Prince Roald agreed, and was now marrying his Yamani fiancée of seven years. So Kel stood, suffering silently, as she watched the man she loved marry one of her closest friends.
She couldn't help but wonder, if she had told him how she felt, would he have picked her? Would he renounce Shinko and her alliance with the Yamani Islands, throw her father's efforts and reputation away and marry her?
Kel mentally shook the traitorous thoughts from herself, reminding herself to be as smooth as stone and calm as water. This marriage was what was best for Tortall. She could not let her feelings ruin this. She could cry later, when there was no one around to witness her disgrace.
The marriage ceremony blended into Roald's coronation ceremony, after which the year's largest celebration was held. Kel was expected to attend, both as a Knight of the Realm and as one of the few people knowledgeable of Yamani language and customs, but also as Roald's and Shinko's friend. She would be expected to dance and drink in merriment, giving the newly crowned King and Queen her congratulations.
So Keladry completed her duty. She took a few turns around the floor with Neal, Owen, Cleon, Dom and her old Knight Master Raoul. She offered their Majesties sincere wishes for a happy marriage. Then she retreated to her room for the night so she could cry alone.
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Kel fled the palace the morning after the festivities. She spent a year traveling with the Own, always a task that she enjoyed. Working with the Own wasn't easy, and often sent squires running back to the palace to beg placement anywhere else, but Kel loved it. It was fast paced, always moving to the next crisis that needed them. Kel lost herself in weeks of traveling, fighting monsters, rebuilding villages, breaking down camp, and generally not thinking. Simply, she let herself forget and healed her heartbreak.
She only returned to the palace twice; once, for the weeklong Midwinter celebration. Kel usually loved giving and receiving gifts, but now Midwinter only reminded her of stolen kisses for luck in shadowy alcoves and secret gifts passed between her and Roald.
And a second time, during summer, she watched Roald and Shinkokami jump over the embers on Beltane while the city of Corus cried out for a prince of princess. Jumping over the embers was supposed to be a prayer to the gods, asking for fertility and a baby for the new year.
After that, she vowed to never return. Kel travelled, by herself or with the Own, hunting down nasty creatures like Stormwings, Spidrens, centaurs, and the occasional Taurus, that preyed on defenseless people. She did not return to Corus until she was summoned by the King.
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Keladry was confused. Why in Mithros's name had she been asked to meet in an out of the way empty chamber? In the late hours of the night? There were four bells before the sun rose? What could not wait for Mithros to bless the day? Was her king going to send her on a secret assignment?
The door creaked open and Kel hurried to bow as their Majesties entered.
"Please, Kel. We're friends."
More confused than ever Kel sat in a chair across from the monarchs. Roald's left hand was tightly entwined with the Queen's right. His other hand rested on the table, trembling.
"I have a favor to ask of you, Kel."
"Anything, my liege." She promised at once. There was nothing Kel wouldn't do for the man she loved.
Roald smiled wryly. "You might want to hear us out, first, before making promises you cannot keep."
Kel studied the couple. Both appeared nervous. It worried her. Roald and Shinko were very good at keeping their calm, composed, and pleasant masks in place, despite the less than complimentary circumstances. Roald was fidgeting, something she hadn't seen him do since he was a page. And Shinko, being raised on the Yamani Islands, should have had no trouble hiding the fear, uncertainty, anxiousness, and hope she was feeling, but they all shone clearly in her dark eyes.
Whatever they needed her help with, it was serious. It was obviously causing them trouble, so Kel would do whatever was necessary to find a solution.
"As you know," began Roald, "it's been over a year since our marriage. Both my advisors and the Yamani Islands are clamoring for an heir."
Kel nodded. She knew the frenzy Tortall was in over the marriage and their expectations of a royal baby. The nobles were already jostling amongst themselves to be the one in the best position when the baby was confirmed. The older ladies were pushing for their daughters to have children so that they could tie their family with the royal family in the years to come.
"However, Shinko has yet to be with child." That wasn't too concerning. They had only been married a year. Not every couple could conceive quickly. "Duke Baird tested her. The Queen is infertile."
Kel closed her eyes as her friend burst into tears. That was the worst news any women could be given, the knowledge that the gods had denied her the joy of children. And it was even more so for Shinkokami. She was the Queen, and Tortall's alliance with the Yamani Islands depending on her giving birth to a child of the two countries. The peace treaty her father had negotiated was at risk.
Kel could see why she was asked to meet in the dead of night, but not why Roald had cautioned her against making promises she could not keep. She would set out immediately for Mindelan and talk with her father. Baron Piers had arranged for the Yamani bride. He would understand the severity of the situation and find a solution that would work without disgracing Shinko.
"We need your help, Kel." Shinko's voice shook. "We'd understand if you were to refuse."
"I'll do anything I can to help." She affirmed. Shinko smiled weakly.
"Will you carry my husband's baby? Will you provide Tortall with an heir?"
All feelings left Kel. Numbness settled in her. "Are you asking me to replace you? As Queen? I can't do that!"
Roald quickly assured her that she wasn't expected to marry him. "No. We just need you to lay with him until you are with child." Shinko explained.
"No one must know. Tortall will believe the child to be mine and the Queen's."
Horror filled Kel. She stood up so quickly the chair crashed to the ground. It echoed in the room. How could they ask such a favor of her? Did they know what they were asking her to do? To bear bastard children to the throne? What would happen when the Yamani learned the prince's mother was not the princess they sent overseas, but a simple female knight not even in one of the Books of families, seeing as Mindelan was a young fief her father was awarded with for settling the peace treaty. This would send two nations to war.
"Please, Kel, hear us out." Kel could barely stand to look at the girl she once knew as Cricket. That was before she had learned she was a Yamani princess. How could Shinko sit there, offering to share her husband with another woman?
"Why me?"
"Because Roald loves you." Kel whipped her head up at Shinko's simple answer. The Queen did not seem upset by the fact that her husband loved another woman. In fact, she seemed happy. Roald didn't look ashamed or embarrassed that she had admitted what should have been his deepest, darkest secret.
"Roald loves you, Kel." Shinko repeated. "He has for many years. He agreed to marry me to generate peace between our countries. With time, we have grown to care for each other. I care for him, and he for me, but it is not enough. It is not the same as love. This was my idea. Tortall will have their foreign Queen and Roald will have you."
Kel took deep, steadying breathes, repeating her mantra, you are stone, until she could speak without raising her voice.
"Is this the only way? Is this what you truly want?"
The two monarchs nodded. "May I have some time?"
"However long you need."
Kel did not wait for Roald's dismissal. She excused herself and walked quickly back to her room. With the door shut and locked, she fell boneless atop her covers.
Unbidden, all her memories of her and Roald replayed themselves. She had been foolish then, naïve, to think that their secret get togethers meant anything. The moments alone in his room as the pair studied together long after the rest of their group of friend had called it quits. The many kisses they shared, the thrill she felt each time she saw him smile without his princely mask.
How could she agree? This was the King. She had buried her feelings for the last time when she officially lost him to another woman. She was nothing more than his knight, his weapon to call upon. Was she ready to give up her shield for crown and country? She had persevered through Joren's hazing and bullying, taunts of being "The Girl," and attacks on her and her maid. She had only had her shield for three years. Was she ready to put it down?
But how could she not agree. Her heart was jumping at the chance to be with the man she loved with no repercussions, so long as the child's true parentage was never known. She had sworn an oath to serve her King in whatever manner he required, and she had sworn it again when Roald ascended to the throne. Duty compelled her to say yes.
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Kel took three days to debate over the pros and cons of her decision. When she asked to meet on that third night she had her answer.
"I'll bear an heir for you."
Her firm statement caused Shinkokami to sag in relief and promptly engulf her in a hug. "I promise you won't regret this."
She had decided to go ahead with their plan. But she didn't think it would fool anyone.
And if it did, well, either way, it would be the only child Kel would ever have. Hers and Roald's child would be perfect. Having a baby with him would ruin every other man for her. Kel resigned herself to the fact that for a short time, he would be hers, and that she would always know the truth.
Kel smiled bitterly. "Don't make promises you can't keep."