The Protecter of the Small series, and all its precursors which have been referenced, belong to Tamora Pierce. Not me.

Roald walked away briskly, Neal's words ringing in his ears. Neal's words had hurt more than the blow to his face.

His initial response to the knight was anger. Of course Roald wanted to be with Kel. He would much rather be with her than sitting in three hour long meetings that resolved nothing because the conservatives and progressives made a point of disagreeing on every topic, not just those related to the inclusion of females in the previously all-male occupation.

After Keladry had earned her shield, Jonathan had put his foot down and said girls wouldn't be subjected to the probationary period. He had unjustly allowed it once but would not stand for it a second time. His reasoning was that it was the job of the Chamber of Ordeals to judge if one was worthy of being a knight, not man. The conservatives had grumblingly agreed, because that logic really couldn't be faulted, but were pushing for girls and boys to be taught separately so that there were no distractions. So far their efforts were for naught, but the topic was brought up and rehashed at each monthly meeting.

As King, the needs of one woman, who wasn't the Queen, didn't even make it on the list of priorities. Roald had a country to run. He had advisers and the Council of Lords and the Council of Commons and a Prime Minister, so he wasn't solely responsible for all the decisions made, but he did have the final say in the end as he was King of Tortall. The two councils voted on funding, another persistent topic of debate, and the lords and barons managed at the level of the fief so Roald didn't have to, but the man still had to go through their reports to make sure they were managing their fiefs properly.

But Keladry wasn't just one woman. She was the woman he loved. Mother of his child. Surely the needs of his heir superseded those of the kingdom's? His council members would understand if he delayed a meeting for her, if only because it concerned his duty to have an heir, something they had been clamoring for ever since he wed Shinkokami. For the security of the nation, never mind that Roald had siblings that would inherit if he never provided an heir.

Or they would if Kel was his Queen. There were times that Roald wished he had followed his heart and married who he wanted and not for the sake of the throne. Liam or Jasson could have become King in his place.

But it would do Roald no good to dwell on the past. He had made his choices. At this point it was too late to back out of the game (there was no way he was going to consider the solution Neal offered. Heir to the throne or not, that was his child. His child with Kel. He would never let another man claim either of them as his own.) The least Roald could do was be there for Kel more than he had been previously.

After the night that neither of them spoke of, when they had made love and pretended the world was not the way it was, Kel had retreated, and Roald allowed her to. His only news of her came from Duke Baird, who still kept him up to date with Kel's appointments. The King had not even seen her in the last two days. But no more. He would not keep his distance any more. No longer would he learn how she was progressing secondhand from Duke Baird. He would ask her himself.

Except she was sleeping when he reached her side, so Roald settled himself in the chair already beside her bed. He took a hold of her hand, gently brushing his thumb over the back.

Looking at Kel, taking in the wan complexion and stress lines on her face, he wished that he had studied his Gift more. He was only capable of minor healing, like bruises or cuts and stemming bleeding. Roald could do nothing to ease her discomfort or

Perhaps getting out of the palace would improve her health. It was rather early for her to leave, and her sudden departure after only a month would spark rumors. But the rumors would be forgotten with time, and getting away from a stressful environment might be just what Kel needed.

Roald curled his hand around hers, fingers tracing every callous, already planning how to convince Kel that leaving Corus was in her best interests.

Kel felt significantly better when she awoke. It was probably the most well rested she had been in the two weeks since she had gotten pregnant. It was amazing how much better she felt after a nap. She hadn't been woken by the foul taste of bile climbing up her throat and the need to reach for the bucket, which she was extremely grateful for. It was nice to be able to take in a deep breath without her stomach feeling the need to rebel.

The woman found Neal in the sturdy wooden chair sitting beside her bed. His head was bent low as he read a thick book balanced in his lap. From the corner of her eye she could see the glint of sun bouncing off of something metallic.

The culprit was a cat waving its paw at her, a Yamani charm for good luck, fortune, and health. Kel had used to have a fair few of them lined up on a mantle in her room as a page, and her friends had been besotted with them.

Kel knew the one sitting on her bedside table to belong to Roald, because she had written her mother Ilane of Mindelan to find one with the same sapphire blue eyes he bore. It had been a Midwinter gift. The last one she had given him before he broke her heart.

Her lips pulled down slightly at the thought that he had called upon her. They could not hide the identity of the child's father if Roald hovered near her like a Stormwing circled over its meal.

But the female knight's heart clenched at the idea of sending him from her side permanently.

"Sleeping beauty awakens at last," Neal said with a grin. Despite his joking words and lighthearted tone, Kel couldn't help but notice how tight the skin around his eyes was. Or the shadow in them.

"Is something wrong?"

His winged brows rose. "Nothing at all, Demoiselle. I have just been bored entirely out of my mind waiting for you to awake. I feared I might turn into the Stump."

Kel couldn't prevent a snort from escaping. Lord Wyldon was the last person she would compare her friend to. But she let it, and the nickname, which Neal only used whenever he did not wish to tell her something, slide. It truly wasn't any of her business what secrets he kept, though she would help him in any way she could if he asked for assistance. Besides, whatever he was keeping hidden probably wasn't a large secret, since he was not pacing and cursing under his breath.

"I talked with Roald." Kel felt her eyes moisten at his admittance. She absolutely hated that every gesture caused her to tear up. Because of her water vision, however, she didn't notice how Neal's eyes darkened at the mention of their friend.

"You shouldn't have," she whispered. "No one's supposed to know. If you force him to sit with me people will start asking questions."

The brunet set his text aside, leaning forward with elbows on knees. "Like I told him. I don't care what they say. The second I claim the child as mine everyone and their mothers will start writing poetry about how you and I were meant to be."

Kel gaped at him, emotions floundering. Another reason she wished this ordeal was over. The hormones were wreaking havoc on her carefully controlled emotions. "You didn't?"

"I did."

"But then all this would be for naught! Roald would be without an heir still and the alliance with the Yamani Islands will fall through and—"

"Breathe, Kel," he commanded and she sucked in a shaky breath. "Maintaining peace between Tortall and the Yamani Islands is not your responsibility, nor is giving the King a son. What Roald and Shinkokami asked of you is wrong. Do you understand? They had no right to ask you to do this."

"But—" she tried to protest.

"No buts," Neal said firmly. "They are wrong. If you ever want out, I'll take you home to Queenscove."

Unbidden, an image of her and Neal living at his family estate sprung to mind. Kel imagined that it would be a nice life. It would be just like their palace days or maybe like when they were stationed at Haven during the war against Blayce and his killing machines. Simple. Easy. Comfortable.

Then she felt horrified for even thinking about running away. Her earliest lesson was from her father, about the importance of honoring her word. As an ambassador, Piers of Mindelan's word was his honor. He had taught each of his nine children to be careful with what they said, cautioning them to never speak words they did not mean nor give promises they could not uphold.

It would be easy, too easy, really, to take Neal's offer, become his wife in name, and continue to be just another knight. Because it meant not giving up the only piece of Roald she had claim to. And that tempted Kel.

But she had given her word to the King and Queen.

"I want this," she told the older knight, voice raw with desire. "Even if this child can't be mine in name, I want this. I don't need to raise him to love him, to be proud of him. He's mine. I know that and that's enough for me."

The conviction in his green eyes slipped away and the stiffness of Neal's mouth relaxed. "It shouldn't be," he abated, knowing that he could not change Kel's mind on the matter, "but if this is what you want."

"It is."

And just like that, they dropped the subject. The two friends spent the rest of the afternoon talking about everything but Kel's pregnancy or Their Majesties. Kel asked for details about his assignment in Meag Marsh, and Neal complained loudly and unendingly on how even with more than half the town delirious with fever that people accosted him to cure sniffles and headaches.

In turn, Kel told him about how she actually enjoyed teaching, but she much preferred working with the King's Own and would always chose to be out in the field first. She talked about the various girls in her classes, four in total in the first two page years, and how the experience had her considering taking one as a squire when the time came. If she was allowed to. She remembered all too well how Alanna had been forbidden from being her Knight Master so that there was no chance the woman was giving Kel an unfair advantage.

The evening was perfect. Two dinner trays had been delivered to her rooms by Lia, who was positively delighted to see someone keeping Kel company and even more so when neither the pre-meal rice nor the day's selections of foods had the Lady Knight reaching for a bucket.

And then it all fell apart when the King visited, his face as serious as when he first approached her a month ago.

Kel felt her stomach churn and unconsciously grabbed one of Neal's hands. She held tightly enough that her knuckles turned white, but Neal didn't pry her hand off of his. She could see him glaring at Roald out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't have the strength to call him out on it.

All she could do was stare at Roald, knowing by the polite look he wore upon his face that she wasn't going to like what he had to say and that undoubtedly it would cause her pain. Because when hadn't he?