How We Met Again

by Gazara12

In an alternative timeline where Uesugi declined the tutoring job, his past connection to the quintuplets is enough to slowly pull him into the midst of their lives. A Fuu/Yots fic... probably.

36. Divergence

Chapter 36:
Divergence

The rumble of the crowd, moving past in ebbing and flowing layers. The dull roar of people, hundreds of conversations collapsed into a static noise. Cacophonous, it hummed around the corner, out of sight - invisible, and omnipotent.

Yet, irrelevant.

It was entirely drowned out by the look on Yotsuba's face.

Myriad emotion. Like a hail of rockets, they passed quickly, each flaring in her eyes so quickly as to be nigh undetectable.

Eventually, her face settled into an equilibrium; not quite stable, but holding. The way her eyebrows were holding in tension, the downturn of the corner of her lips, the widening of her eyes... I wasn't sure what to think. A mask, it hid her true thoughts with its complexity.

"I... I see," she finally said.

There was a long pause. Neither of us spoke - I looking up at her, and she looking down at me. Deep in my chest, I could feel a stabbing numbness, an icy cold that was beginning to seep out of the cage where the beast was as still as night. Eventually, I turned to look away, my vision focusing back on the blank wall across the narrow hallway from me.

My thoughts were elsewhere.

It had been four years since I'd seen her.

Four years since everything blew up.

I'd convinced myself I was over it. Every time I'd thought about it since first meeting Yotsuba, in those quiet moments of solitude in the library... the feelings of panic, the hurt, the guilt; it had felt like it was lessening. I'd grown, and I'd been sure that everything would be fine. That if I ever saw her, when I saw her, I wouldn't feel anything.

That I wouldn't run.

"So," Yotsuba laughed. "You... had a girlfriend, huh?"

There was something hollow to her laugh. It didn't feel right. Yet, I didn't turn to look at her. Instead, I just shrugged, slowly being swallowed up more and more by the glimmering, frozen mist in my chest.

"Yeah... I did."

There was a soft intake of breath from above me at my murmured words. A long pause... and some small part of me, the part that was still lucid and focused on the girl next to me, felt a twinge of something; fear, maybe? Anxiety. I didn't know how Yotsuba would take it.

There was a rustling sound as Yotsuba squatted down next to me, and gently punched my shoulder.

"Geez, Uesugi-san, you dog! You never told me you used to have a girlfriend."

My head snapped over in shock to see Yotsuba grinning at me- and the small part of my mind that was still lucid roared back into control, driving the mist back into the cage. There was a level of complexity to Yotsuba's smile, meaning hidden behind meaning... but it didn't matter.

Even if it was a façade, she was smiling at me, and I could feel myself growing warm.

"Uh... sorry about that?"

"So, back on that very first day when Ichika was teasing you about not having a girlfriend... I guess she was more off the mark than we thought, huh?"

Frowning, I shook my head. "It's past tense, Yotsuba. I had a girlfriend. Not now."

"Mhmm," she said, standing up and stretching. "I see, I see. Good for you."

As I'd thought, it was off; a flat tone to her laugh, a discordance in her cheeriness. I'd known her long enough at this point. I'd spent enough time watching her face, hearing her inherent joy.

I knew when she was lying.

"I'm curious, though," Yotsuba smiled, glancing down at me. "What's she like?"

I could tell when she was wearing a mask.

She's upset... but it feels different from the other times. More... internal.

For a moment, I considered trying to brush off the question. To keep everything in the past, hidden in the same place as the secret promise that had set me on this path in the first place. To close that part of me off, and not let anyone in; even Yotsuba. A completely private memory, with everything that came with that.

Yet... looking at Yotsuba's smile, even with all the emotion behind it, there was a part of me that rebelled. That was terrified of the idea of Yotsuba not knowing. That whispered in my ear that, if I didn't tell her, she would assume... and would probably be completely wrong.

Somehow, the idea of her having the wrong idea made my chest hurt.

"Well," I said, slowly getting to my feet and brushing myself off. "About that. She's-"

A voice blared out over the loud-speakers, a smooth, calm, and professional announcement. "All athletes, please make your way to your locker rooms. Competition will begin in half an hour's time. I repeat, all athletes..."

Yotsuba and I made eye-contact, and I trailed off. There was a moment's silence between us; and I could feel myself growing more and more self-conscious under the lock of her blazing blue eyes. It felt like she was looking into my soul; searching, perhaps, for something in my depths.

"Um... I guess you need to go," I murmured awkwardly.

Yotsuba nodded wordlessly, her eyes still locked on me. She didn't move, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

She was a tableau in tension; every muscle in her face was working in tandem to try and keep up appearances, to keep the mask intact.

To hide the look that was seeping out the cracks. The look of insecurity; of uncertainty. The same look that appeared on her face sometimes when I bonded with her sisters, when she thought I wasn't looking. The look I'd spent so long pretending I couldn't read.

Jealousy.

"I promise I'll tell you about her," I said quietly. "Anything you want to know, I'll tell you."

A shift. A note of relief, quiet and subtle, flooding through her eyes.

"Uesugi-san, I-"

"When you win," I said, forcing a smile onto my face.

Yotsuba stared at me for a moment, shocked.

For a fraction of a moment, I thought I'd upset her.

Then, the cheeky grin explosively returned to her face, and I could tell that this time, it was real.

"O-ho? Interesting, interesting! I'll take you up on your offer, Uesugi-san. Have no fear, I'll race my heart out- and make you tell me all about her!"

"Good," I said, shaking my head in wry amusement. "Kick their asses."

We stepped out of the corridor, and Yotsuba began to hurry away... but then, she stopped, and turned back to look at me. There was a fire in her eyes, one that I genuinely wasn't sure I understood.

"Uesugi-san?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a promise. Remember that," she said. Then, waving, she vanished into the crowd.

I stood there for a moment, watching her go.

Then, I turned away.

As I walked, as the comfort of Yotsuba's presence faded, I could still feel my emotions in a mess: the residual adrenaline draining from my system, leaving me exhausted. The memories, flashing through my mind; pictures of black hair, of flashing eyes. Her voice, whispering in my ear.

"Fuutarou..."

A resurgence. A flash of panic.

Quietly, I melted into the throng of people. In their voluminous embrace, there was no chance that she could find me.

The cage in my chest was ice, unmoving beast shrouded in gaseous cold that leaked past the bars that ostensibly claimed to keep the contents inside contained. Quietly, the vapour coated the steel in frost; re-enforcing them, sealing them.

A reminder of why they were built in the first place.

I don't want to see her again.

Eventually, I safely emerged from the crowd and ascended the stairs. As I approached the entrance to the box seats, however, I could hear the sound of voices.

"Father, it's unfair!"

"I've already made my position clear, Itsuki-kun. This is for your sake."

Peeking my head around the door, I saw Itsuki standing with her arms crossed, a plaintive look in her eyes. Her father was leaning back in his chair, a completely blank look on his face. Neither of them noticed my entry; as I awkwardly made my way over to a chair, and Ichika greeted me quietly, they didn't break eye-contact.

"He was trying his best! It was a tall order, and we got really close! I believe that if he were to be given one more chance, he-"

"Be that as it may," Dr. Nakano said, his voice flat and emotionless, "Takeda-kun has repeatedly failed my expectations. His job is to ensure that you pass exams. Tell me, Itsuki-kun, did any of you pass the final exam in its entirety apart from Yotsuba-kun?"

Itsuki hesitated... and then shook her head silently.

"Exactly," Dr. Nakano said - and though his voice remained monotone, I wondered if there was perhaps a hint of exasperation underlying his words. "Takeda-kun has failed at the task that was assigned to him a second time. Why should I entrust him with my daughters' academic well-being a third time?"

"But-"

"In life, we do not get infinite chances," he said quietly. "We get only as many chances as others are willing to grant us. I have already granted Takeda-kun a second chance. Unless you can think of an excellent reason why he ought to be granted a third, this matter is settled."

"He... He's been improving!" Itsuki said, her voice trembling. "Since we got back from the school trip, he's been working very hard to improve his teaching skills, and to get better results. It's not his fault that we're too st-stupid to..."

"Itsuki-kun," Dr. Nakano said quietly, "you girls are not stupid."

"H-huh? I mean-"

"Rather," he continued on, ignoring her, "your failures are a result of two factors: a failure of effort, and a failure in your educator. I cannot easily rectify the former; the motivation for that must come from within. I can, however, influence the latter. I'll find you a better tutor - I am not willing to sacrifice your futures to facilitate Takeda-kun's fumbling growth as a teacher."

Itsuki clenched her fists - her face was a picture in frustration, cheeks red with emotion, her shoulders trembling.

"I don't think we need a new tutor! We just need more time- you can't just fire him!"

"As I recall," Dr. Nakano said drily, "you were the one who insisted on the ability to instantaneously dismiss him if his pedagogical approach didn't improve, and in fact petitioned me yourself to remove him. You claimed that he wasn't a good fit, did you not? It would seem you were correct; as such, there is no need for a tantrum."

Itsuki blanched.

"Th-that's true, I did say that. But..."

Itsuki trailed off, and then squared her shoulders.

"Regardless, please hire him back, Father! He's the only reason my test grades were as good as they were."

"Then why were your sisters' scores still so low?" Dr. Nakano asked quietly.

She froze - and from my spot on the chair next to Ichika, I could see the calculus that had suddenly been thrust onto Itsuki's plate. With a single sentence, Dr. Nakano had put her between a rock and a hard place; her only options were to admit that her sisters hadn't seriously tried to study under Takeda, throwing them under the bus, or to deflect, thereby implying that it was, in fact, Takeda's fault.

I didn't envy her.

In the face of that dilemma, Itsuki simply chose to fall silent.

After a few long, agonizing minutes, Dr. Nakano turned forward again, finally breaking eye-contact.

"It would appear this conversation is over," he said quietly. "Come, Itsuki-kun, sit. Let's watch your sister race."

A flurry of emotions crossed Itsuki's face; frustration, pain, and guilt. Especially guilt. As her eyes lingered on the back of her father's head, they eventually moved to connect with mine, the quivering of her lips a clear indication of her efforts to keep tears from spilling over the brim. As I looked at her, I could feel the quietly conflicted feelings that had subconsciously twisted in my chest following Takeda's short phone call to me after exams.

But...

Don't pick a fight with Yotsuba's dad. It'll end badly, you don't want him hating you, you-

"Dr. Nakano, I also think you should give Takeda another chance."

The words were out of my mouth, and I could feel myself cringing as he slowly turned in his seat to gaze at me. Silent, he simply looked silently, his motionless face conveying a thousand emotions far more efficiently than sound ever could.

I swallowed.

We were both wordless for a number of seconds; yet, it almost felt as though we were probing one another. The subtle movement in Dr. Nakano's eyes, the way he examined me, as though he were categorizing me.

"Uesugi-kun," he eventually said, his voice soft and low, without a trace of discernible emotion, "given your rejection of my initial offer, I'm afraid I don't quite see how my family's decisions regarding personnel are any of your business."

The cool ice in his eyes, glittering, left me shivering.

I'm no match for him. Not now, anyways.

"You're right, of course," I said, shaking my head. "It's not my business. That said, I do consider myself friends with your daughters-"

I saw Nino glare at me, and I pointedly ignored her.

"...to an extent, as well as with Takeda. I'm not going to try and convince you to change your mind. That said, as an outside observer, Takeda's pedagogy has pretty much undergone a complete phase change since he got back from the camping trip. It started before that, but... I think he's started to do some really good work. If you keep him on, I think that in time you'll have quite an effective educator."

Dr. Nakano simply raised an eyebrow at me, a solitary movement that, in its simplicity, communicated multitudes.

I didn't break eye-contact; that said, I wasn't sure of what else to say.

Eventually, he looked away, his eyes training back on the track down below.

"Noted."

Glancing at Itsuki, I mouthed 'I tried', and she shrugged helplessly before sitting down on her father's far side.

Takeda's probably done.

Settling into our seats, I felt a tap on my right shoulder, and glanced over to see Ichika smiling at me.

"Very brave of you, Fuutarou-kun," she purred. "I'm glad you think of all of us as friends, even dear Nino-chan. I'll just have to find out her thoughts about that later."

"Shut up," I muttered, my face reddening. "You knew that already. Ugh... I'm definitely not going to hear the end of that from her."

"Yeah, but it's fun hearing you say it," she laughed. "Don't worry about Nino. I'm sure she'll just be thrilled."

Rolling my eyes, I leaned forward to look down at the track.

"Do you see Yotsuba?" I asked, purposely changing the subject.

Ichika leaned forward as well, and frowned.

"Hmm... I don't think so... there are a bunch of different schools though, so it's a bit difficult to tell... I guess we'll see her when they're called to order."

"Mhmm."

Frowning, I steepled my hands. Unlike with the final exams, I had absolutely no idea how to gauge how prepared Yotsuba was. All I knew was that she was fast. Really fast.

But... the other people here are probably also really fast.

"Oh! Here they come!"

Leaning forward, I saw that the number of students on the field had multiplied - and as the announcer spoke, their words muted by crackling static and ageing electronics, the athletes began to form into blocks, each representing a school... and a team. For each school, there was an athlete, presumably the captain, holding a sign with the school name. Scanning across, I searched for Asahiyama, and eventually found the sign slightly off to the left.

But...

"I still don't see her," I murmured to Ichika. "I wonder-"

"She's at the back!" Miku suddenly said, speaking for the first time since my return to the box seats. Glancing to my left, where she was sat, I saw her pointing towards the block. "Left side, second from the edge."

Re-focusing, I narrowed in - and I could feel my chest tighten slightly as I finally found Yotsuba. As I watched her standing, nervously shifting her weight from one foot to another in her track uniform, the look on her face as she'd looked back at me half an hour earlier flared in my mind.

The fire in her eyes.

The mask she'd worn.

"Kick their asses," I whispered to myself.

"Hmm? Fuutarou-kun, did you say something?" Ichika asked, tilting her head at me.

"No, nothing."

Different events were being held - most of the forty-four Olympic track and field events were being contested between the different schools. Yotsuba would be participating in a few of the short races, or so she'd told me, though I hadn't had enough knowledge to ask for any specifics. As the athletes began warming up for their races, I could feel the trepidation beginning to rise in my chest.

Moment of truth... again.

"You know," Miku mumbled from next to me, "that sign out front was pretty misleading..."

"Huh?" I asked, turning to look at her, momentarily distracted.

"I was reading the pamphlet they gave us at the door," she said quietly, holding it up. "You got one, right Fuutarou?"

I blinked, and then looked down at my empty hands.

"Uh... no?"

Miku frowned. "Maybe they ran out. You can share mine if you like."

"...Thanks. I think. Anyways, what's misleading about the sign?"

Miku shrugged. "This isn't the actual prefecture-level competition. That was months ago. Look in the pamphlet."

Frowning, I opened the proffered booklet - and saw that there was a short blurb on the history of the meet. Scanning the page, I could feel a wellspring of irritation bubbling up in the depths of my stomach.

Eba ran her ragged... for this?

"It's a consolation meet for teams that failed to qualify for nationals?" I asked, my voice tight as I tried to fight down my anger.

Miku nodded.

"In other words..."

"It's an exhibition meet," Miku said quietly. "So, calling it the 'Aichi Prefecture High School Track Meet' is a bit misleading, right? Even if that is technically what it is."

I was silent for a moment, processing. Then, eventually, I lowered my head into my hands.

"I'm going to kill that captain. Do you think Yotsuba knows?"

After a moment's pause to think, Miku shrugged.

"Probably," she said. "She knows a lot about sports. I think she probably would have realized the team was eliminated before she even joined. Nationals were apparently in November - I looked it up after I finished reading the pamphlet, because I was curious."

"Then why...?"

"Hmmm?" Ichika said, leaning over and resting her arm on my shoulder. "Do you really need to ask that?"

I frowned, and turned sharply to look at her, shifting slightly away under her arm. "What do you mean?"

"Even with everything," Ichika purred, "you still have a lot to learn about our Yotsuba-chan, Fuutarou-kun."

Something about the way she said that made me pause.

A lot I still have to learn...?

Unbidden, an image of that night, weeks before, came back to me. The look on Yotsuba's face as I'd pressed her about the dance about the fire. The call, in the cold of the night, where she'd explained herself - and also not explained herself. When I'd promised to wait, in lieu of learning the truth.

An image of her face in the corridor below, as she learned about my past.

Slowly, I closed my eyes... and then sighed.

"Maybe you're right," I said quietly, looking away.

Even after all this time, there are parts of Yotsuba that I still don't understand.

"Love of sports is a beautiful thing," Ichika sighed wistfully. "Couldn't be me, though."

Frowning, I stared down at the scene far below us, where I could distantly see Yotsuba stretching.

Ichika's words weren't resonating with me.

I don't think she's doing this out of a love of sports.

I watched Eba stride over and have a quiet word with Yotsuba, a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Her other teammates were flocking about; there was a nervous air to them, a tension...

My eyes narrowed.

"Valued attendees," a static-ridden voice said over the intercom system, carrying the drone of some woman in a suit down on the field, "thank you for your attendance today. This exhibition meet, first organized to provide bridge-training for schools who were unsuccessful in their bid for prefectural nomination, has become a storied competition in its own right. These young athletes..."

As she continued on, my gaze held steady on Yotsuba.

...I need to think about this.

"...Thank you for your patience. The first event will be the boys' 100 metre."

As boys from different schools took the field, and Yotsuba retreated back to the locker room, I saw her ribbon waving in the wind... and the sense of anticipation that had been slowly growing within me grew even more acute.

"Do you know which events Yotsuba will be in?" I asked, turning to Miku.

"No," she replied quietly, staring down at the pamphlet. "They didn't print the details of who's in each race."

"How inconvenient," I muttered, turning back forward.

"Yeah, the three full-page ads for Saize really don't leave a lot of room for athlete names..."

We were both distracted then by a loud bang, and turned back to the field to see boys charging down the track. It was incredible how fast they were; putting myself in their shoes, I was certain that by the time the first sprinter shot across the finish line, I would only have been halfway down the track. The final straggler crossed only a handful of seconds later.

As the announcer read the results, I frowned. The representative for Asahiyama had been someone I didn't recognize - and his result was dead in the centre of the pack. Completely forgettable.

Watch as it turns out he's in my class or something.

Laughing quietly to myself, I turned my attention back to the beginning of the track, where more athletes were beginning to warm up... and then I instinctively tensed up as I saw a dash of green in the crowd.

"Next, the girls' 100-metre. Athletes, please take your starting positions."

As the girls began to move into position, I once again saw the distinctive green of Yotsuba's ribbon... and as she moved to the starting line, I felt my chest tighten in anticipation.

A flash of red. A pinprick of blue.

She was looking up at the box.

It was far, far too large a distance to actually tell... but it felt like she was looking at me.

Like she was calling to me.

Watch me.

"Oh, wow," Miku breathed next to me. "Fuutarou, look - the pamphlet says that the 100-metre dash is special."

"Is that so?" I asked, not pulling my eyes off Yotsuba's form far below, slowly lowering herself into a starting position. My heart had risen into my throat, and it was hard to focus on anything else.

"You're not looking..."

Wrenching my eyes away from the preparations happening down below, I glanced over at Miku, trying to suppress the mild irritation that had spiked in my chest. It's not her fault I'm on edge...

"Apparently, each school nominates their single fastest runner to compete in the 100-metre," Miku continued, holding up the pamphlet to the appropriate page for me to see. "It's a big honour; that sprinter will then also be the anchor during the 4x100-metre relay."

"So... she was chosen over Eba?" I asked, frowning.

"Who?"

"The captain," I said, shaking my head. "The one I have issues with."

"Oh," Miku said, blinking. "Um... I think probably the captain was the one who chose her. Probably."

Turning back to the track, where the athletes were now fully set up, my eye settled back on Yotsuba... and the quiet tension that was running through her. She was like a spring, coiled too tight, waiting to snap back. Building up and building up and building-

Bang.

The starting gun went off, and she exploded.

Like lightning, Yotsuba was off down the track, a blur of red and green.

Yet, the other sprinters were fast too; as Yotsuba pulled out ahead of the pack, at least two other girls were keeping pace with her.

It was tight. Their shoulders were aligned, muscles screaming as they fought for that extra millimetre, that extra burst of speed.

That winning stride.

The final blow.

Eventually, one of the two girls fell back half a step; and it was between Yotsuba and a girl in a black tracksuit, perfectly aligned.

Footsteps pounding on rubber, driving them onward.

There was decent separation now, the two girls isolated from the crowd behind them.

The finish line approached, a hundred metres eaten up in the blink of an eye.

Twelve metres.

Eleven.

Ten.

Two things happened at once. The girl in the black tracksuit stumbled - and Yotsuba kicked into a higher gear. Driving onwards over the final stretch, she gained a shoulder's width of a lead. Ribbon flying in the wind, sweat blasted off her face by the air resistance she was facing, the distance to the end closed in a heartbeat.

With a full half-metre of distance between them, Yotsuba flew over the finish line.

Without even realizing it, I was standing and cheering. The girls around me were doing the same - the box had, in a moment, erupted.

As Yotsuba slowed to a halt, a dozen metres past the finish line, she doubled over, panting. Then, a moment later, she stood up straight, and turned to look up at the box, her hair and ribbon subtly blowing in the air currents in the stadium as other sprinters finally shot over the finish line.

It was ludicrous, with how far away we were.

Yet, it felt like our eyes met.

Raising her hand, she pointed up at me.

It's a promise.

Swallowing, I nodded.

There's no way she can even see me all the way up here. But...

As her teammates swarmed the field, running over to hug her, Yotsuba kept looking up at me. Then, she was engulfed, and I couldn't even see her anymore in the midst of the celebration.

Eventually, as she walked off the track, her teammates' arms over her shoulders, the announcer began reading out the results... and as she called Yotsuba's name, our box exploded with cheers again.

Nakano Yotsuba. Asahiyama High School.

First Place.

The tension that had been held in my shoulders, in my chest, slowly filtered out, and I slid back into my seat. Breathing out, I shook my head, and pulled my phone out of my pocket. Quietly, I sent an email to Yotsuba; I knew I probably wouldn't be able to see her in person until the event was over.

{Congratulations}

There was a lot more I wanted to say... but it was hard to formulate it. Hard to put it in words, let alone in an email.

Things I wanted to say in person.

"Next, the boy's 200-metre..."

The remainder of the morning's races went by quickly, my interest greatly diminished in Yotsuba's absence. The girl's 200-metre had been marginally interesting, if only because two sprinters had competed for Asahiyama - Eba, and one of the other girls whose name I didn't know. As the captain took off like black lightning down the track, I was forced to begrudgingly admit that, despite all her flaws, she was fast.

But Yotsuba's faster.

That said, she wasn't fast enough; as the metres piled on, Eba began to flag, and eventually crossed the finish line in second. The other girl finished in fourth; an overall respectable finish, though I could see the frustration in Eba's body language even from the distance I was at.

The morning wore on, race after race after race. The Asahiyama girl's team didn't have competitors in every event, but most of the girls competed in at least two races. That said, Yotsuba was sitting off on the sidelines; after the initial race, she'd been entirely taken up with cheering on her teammates.

Eventually, there was a break for lunch. As the athletes trudged off the field, I rose from my seat, and stretched.

"What do you think the chances are that Yotsuba can come join us?" I asked, glancing down at Miku.

"Not great," she said, shaking her head. "I think she said something about the team having lunch together."

"I see..."

Crouching down to reach into a small bag I'd brought with me, I pulled out a small bento that Raiha had packed for me.

"Shall we find somewhere to..."

I trailed off at the awkward look Ichika was giving me.

"What?" I asked, frowning as I stood back up.

"Fuutarou-kun," she said, shaking her head, "we're going to a restaurant. None of us brought packed lunches."

"...Oh."

For the first time in quite a while, I could feel my chest clench in embarrassment as I was, once again, reminded of the wealth gap between us.

I definitely can't afford to go eat at a restaurant...

"I see," I said, forcing a neutral look onto my face as my hand tightened around the bento. "Well, enjoy."

Grabbing my bag, I swung it up onto my shoulder - but then I caught Itsuki's eye as I turned to walk around the seats and exit the box.

She was the only one in the room who was aware of my family's financial situation... and as our eyes met, it almost seemed as though she had read my thoughts.

"Father," Itsuki said, clutching the edge of her seat, "would it be alright if Uesugi-kun joins us for lunch?"

Dr. Nakano glanced over at me, his ice cold eyes taking me in. Since the discussion about Takeda, he hadn't said a word; even when Yotsuba had won, he'd been silent. Under his gaze, I could feel a shiver going down my spine.

"I, uh, don't have any money with me," I added awkwardly, shifting on the spot. "I brought a packed lunch."

Technically the truth...

"It's... it's fine, I can just..."

Dr. Nakano's eyes lingered on me, his brow ever-so-slightly furrowed, and I trailed off. There was a frigid quality to him, like anything he touched would be immediately overcome with hoarfrost. I could feel a quiet sense of panic building in the depths of my stomach; I was certain that he was going to say something, words that would cut me down. Words that would slice me to the bone, with surgical precision.

The dismissal of an elite, quiet disdain for one such as me. In his eyes, I was certain I was nothing more than an ant, irrelevant.

Dr. Nakano gazed unblinkingly at me.

Then, he simply looked away, looking back at Itsuki.

"One more person isn't a problem," he said, his voice silky smooth and quiet. "Ebata, call the restaurant and let them know we'll need to modify the reservation."

"Certainly, sir."

Whipping my head around, my eyes widened as I realized that there was an old man in a suit standing off to the side in the box, a phone already rising to his head. I hadn't noticed him at all either of the times I'd entered the room; he was entirely cloistered, invisible from the entrance.

"When...?"

"Now then, children," Dr. Nakano said, rising from his seat. "Let us depart. You may briefly meet with Yotsuba-kun before we go, should she be available. That said, we have a reservation to keep."

As he strode across the room, the old man he'd called Ebata following meekly in his wake, I was stuck by how... impersonal his words were. It was a reflection, maybe, of how Yotsuba had referred to him on the way down the stairs... like there was a gap between them.

A distance between their hearts.

It's none of my business.

Shaking my head, I followed the four sisters out of the room as they trailed their father. Falling into step beside Itsuki, I mouthed 'thank you' to her, and she shrugged.

As we descended the stairs to the main lobby, which was growing more crowded with people by the minute, we saw the Asahiyama team emerging from the locker rooms as a group... and Yotsuba among them. As she spotted me, she bounded over, a grin on her face.

"Uesugi-saaaaaaaan!"

Despite myself, a smile slipped onto my face.

"Hey," I said as she came to a screeching halt in front of me. "Well done. You were really fast."

"Ehehehe," she grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "Well, I trained hard. I was also really lucky at the end there - the other girl stumbling was pretty good luck!"

"Well, you know what they say- you've gotta be good to be lucky."

Then, at that moment, her sisters surged forward - and I found myself cut off as Yotsuba got surrounded. In the excited chatter of four girls hugging a fifth, I glanced aside... and my eye accidentally caught Eba's.

She gave me a smug smirk, and it took all my energy to keep my face under control.

I really don't like her.

"Yotsuba-chan, we're going to go for lunch now," Ichika said as the collective hug broke apart. "Are you going to come with us?"

"Sorry guys," Yotsuba said, shaking her head. "I'm going to be eating with the rest of the team."

"Too bad," Ichika said, a teasing note slipping into her voice. "Fuutarou-kun is going to be coming with us- we'll have him all to ourselves."

Yotsuba immediately stiffened up; it was subtle, but I could see her muscles tense, the slight pulling of her mouth and eyes at Ichika's words. The look, the one that had danced across her face plain as day in the corridor, returned to her face for just a moment - and as her eyes searched for mine, as they found me, there was a question in them.

Yet, not one I understood. All I knew was that there was a question there, hidden in the depths of the blue.

Then, it was gone.

All of it.

"That's too bad," Yotsuba grinned, shaking her head. "Try not to tease him too much, ok?"

"No promises," Ichika said, a sing-songy note to her voice.

As the girls pulled back from Yotsuba, Dr. Nakano came forward, and leaned next to her ear. After murmuring something indecipherable, he pulled back, and walked away, ushering the girls after him. Yotsuba stared after him with a look of mild astonishment on her face. Then, with a shake of her head, she turned to look at me.

"Uesugi-san, I-"

"Yotsuba," Eba interjected, grabbing her shoulder, "we need to head out now if we want to have time to eat and digest before the afternoon races."

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded, and turned to follow her teammates away.

Then, turning back, she called to me.

"Uesugi-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget. You promised."

Biting my lip, I nodded silently. Seemingly satisfied, Yotsuba turned away, and trotted after her teammates.

Watching her go, I wasn't entirely sure how I felt. I hadn't liked the look on her face when Ichika had teased her... yet, strangely, there had also been something reassuring about it. I had no idea how to think about it.

"Uesugi-kun! Are you coming, or not?!"

"No use thinking about it now," I muttered, and turned to chase after an irate Itsuki.

Despite Ichika's joking threat, lunch was mostly uneventful. Having been sat across from Dr. Nakano, which was not exactly a relaxing experience, per se, he mostly ignored me, and I followed suit. Instead, I spent the majority of the time talking with Itsuki about the food we were eating, and with Miku about the pamphlet, which she'd brought along and was continuing to investigate. I wasn't quite sure why she was so interested in it, but it at least made for a good topic of conversation.

At some point during lunch, Yotsuba had replied to my email, just a simple 'thanks' with a grinning emoji afterwards. I'd suspected that her brevity was more a function of time constraints, rather than a lack of things to say, and so I'd tried not to overthink it.

After we'd finished eating, we had returned to the box seats about five minutes before the resumption of events. As we settled into our seats, and the announcer read off the first set of races of the afternoon, Miku poked my arm. Glancing down at her, she held up the pamphlet again.

"I think Yotsuba's going to be in this race," she said, pointing at one of the races down near the end of the schedule.

"Why?"

"Remember how I said the sprinter from the 100-metre dash was also the anchor for the 4x100-metre relay?"

"I do remember you saying that," I frowned. "So, is Yotsuba going to be the anchor?"

"I guess," she said, looking down at the sheet. "I didn't know there were so many rules around this sort of thing. It's a little interesting."

"Yeah, well... neither did I, to be honest. I'm not sure how much of it is rules, though..."

The races continued, and the Asahiyama girls mostly acquitted themselves well. That said, apart from Yotsuba, none of them managed to take first place in any of the races; it was all a mixture of seconds, fourths, fifths, and one embarrassing fifteenth. By the time the relay was announced, there was a sense of bored agitation that had progressively taken over the box seats.

A boredom that evaporated instantaneously as Yotsuba took to the track.

As the anchor, she moved to the three-quarter mark; the starting runner was Eba, and the middle two were girls I didn't know, though they'd been there on the day I'd confronted their captain.

As she moved nervously on the spot, Yotsuba stretched... and glanced up at the box seats.

Then, she squared her shoulders and got ready.

At the starting line, Eba crouched into position.

A moment's stillness.

Silence.

Then-

Bang.

Like an explosion of black flame, she was off, other sprinters spread around her in a curved line to account for the differences in the turning lanes. As she ran, Eba began to separate from the pack, along with two or three girls - though, with their staggered positioning, it was hard to tell who was ahead.

As her captain approached the first hand-off, the second girl began to run; and as Eba handed the baton off to her, she bolted away.

They're in a good spot...

The second girl raced along the straight, though I could tell just by looking that she was slower than Eba had been. That said, with the gap that had been gifted to her, she was able to safely maintain positioning, more or less; it was possible, in the midst of her stretch, that she had slipped from second to third.

The issue came as she approached the bend, and the third runner. As she closed the gap, the third sprinter began to run; but the hand-off was clumsy, and slow. In a moment, they'd dropped from third to an easy fifth or sixth place.

As the third runner ran around the curved track, the situation only got worse.

She wasn't Yotsuba.

She wasn't even Eba.

By the time the girl approached Yotsuba, I could see the tears flowing down her face as she fell back into seventh.

I couldn't hear what she said as Yotsuba began to run in preparation; we were too far away. Yet, as she handed off the baton, slamming it into Yotsuba's extended hand, I could almost hear her apologizing - though of course, it was all in my head.

It didn't matter.

Yotsuba was wind, and Yotsuba was lightning.

Blasting onto the straight-away, Yotsuba moved as fast as I'd ever seen her; legs moving in synchronized motion, pounding against the rubber, every muscle and tendon in her body screaming in unison to run. In the blink of an eye, she'd passed sixth and fifth place, recovering the ground lost by the third runner's pace. As the finish line approached, she strained, and pulled past fourth.

Seconds before the finish line, she inched ahead of third.

Closer.

Reaching.

Not close enough.

Across.

A full two seconds after second place had already finished, Yotsuba blasted across the finish line.

She slowed down, trotting to a halt. Staring up into the sky, panting, sweat dripping down her face, Yotsuba was still.

Then, she crouched down, lowering her head between her legs to recover.

As her teammates approached her, I could tell even from a distance how she was feeling.

I could tell because that feeling was an old, intimate friend.

She'd recovered them a medalling position.

It doesn't matter.

As they surrounded her, elated at her fiery comeback, she glanced up at the box again... and I could have sworn our eyes met.

A moment of piercing blue.

Then, gone, as she left the field.

A bubbling sense of unease filled my stomach; but, I wasn't entirely sure of its source. As the announcer read off the results, and Asahiyama was confirmed for a bronze medal, the girls around me cheered... but my heart wasn't in it.

I knew Yotsuba too well.

The medalling ceremony was at the end; and even as she received her gold medal for the 100-metre dash, Yotsuba's body language screamed of frustration. She quietly accepted the award, and then quickly retreated from the podium as soon as she was able.

When the time came to accept the bronze medal for the relay, Eba was the one to go up and accept it.

As we filtered down the stairs, and waited in the lobby amidst the crowd for Yotsuba to emerge, her sisters were chattering amongst themselves... but I didn't feel like I could participate in the conversation. My mind was too distracted, focused entirely on the frustration that had been radiating off Yotsuba as she crossed the finish line.

I didn't think she was the type to blame her teammates for their failures.

Which meant there was only one person she could be frustrated with.

"Oh, she's out. Yotsuba-chan! Over heeeeeere!"

Immediately, my eyes began scanning the crowd, searching. Eventually, I found Yotsuba - with Ichika's call, she had made a beeline for us, her teammates grinning behind her.

But... her face.

I could tell just by looking at her.

I was right.

I need to do something.

Before anyone could say anything to her, I strode forward and grabbed her hand. Her eyes widened for a moment, and she looked up at me.

"Uesugi-san...?"

"Sorry, everyone," I said, turning to face both Yotsuba's sisters and her teammates. "I need to kidnap her for a few minutes. We'll be right back."

I could see the sudden look of irritation manifesting in Eba's scowl, as well as the confusion crossing the others' faces - but Itsuki gave me a quiet thumbs up, hidden from everyone else, and I nodded to her.

Turning back to Yotsuba, I murmured, "if that's ok?"

She silently nodded, and I pulled her off into the crowd.

To escape.

Eventually, we found ourselves back in the small hallway we'd occupied that morning. Yotsuba looked up at me wordlessly, and then tilted her head.

Waiting.

"I made you a promise, didn't I?"

An excuse.

Yotsuba looked away from me.

"I didn't win, though."

There was a deep bitterness in her voice; a pain that I was all too familiar with from personal experience. It stood in stark contrast to how she'd looked at the lunch break. How she'd looked when she passed the final.

Even how she'd looked when she failed on the midterm.

"Yotsuba..."

"I didn't win," she repeated, shaking her head. "We... we came in third."

"That wasn't your fault."

"It was," she said quietly, leaning against the wall and sinking to the ground. "I should have been able to close that gap. I... I let my teammates down."

Lowering her head into her knees, she wrapped her arms around her shins, pulling them tight to her breast. Her ribbon, dangling overhead, seemed almost lifeless as it swayed over her.

Sliding down next to her, I stared at the opposite wall.

"I wasn't good enough," she breathed, her face still hidden. "They all put their faith in me... and I wasn't enough. I know I should have done it. But... I couldn't."

A whispered sob came from her - and I felt my chest constricting. Leaning over, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and pulled her tight. After a moment's hesitation, Yotsuba leaned into me... and I could feel her shaking.

This isn't a fair burden she's putting on herself.

I held her wordlessly as the quiet sobs racked her body; they were almost inaudible, the sort of half-cries of someone who won't quite let themselves release the pressure building up inside, but who also can't keep it contained anymore. The near-silent tears... I just held her through them.

All I could do was be there as best I could.

Eventually, she grew quiet, and pushed further into my side. Her breathing was soft, and I was suddenly aware of her touch against me; yet, the cage in my chest was silent. I wasn't focused on the electricity coursing through my side, through where her head was leaning on my shoulder. My mind was focused on things far and away from that.

"Yotsuba," I said softly, my hand tight on her shoulder. "It isn't your fault. You can't carry a team on your back."

"But-"

"If Eba came up to you after this, and told you that the loss was her fault, what would you say?"

Sniffing, Yotsuba lifted her head to look up at me, her eyes red. There was a moment's silence as she stared at me, blinking. Then, frowning, she shook her head.

"I would tell her that she was being silly. She managed to start us off really strongly, it definitely wasn't her fault."

"What about if that second girl said it? Would you blame her?"

Yotsuba shook her head again. "If Marin-san said that, I'd also say it wasn't her fault. She kept pace pretty well, especially since Kurobara put their captain in the second leg. The hand-off was also something that happens, we didn't lose that much time from it."

"Ok, what about the third girl?"

Yotsuba vehemently shook her head. "Sakaguchi-san definitely wasn't to blame; the hand-off delayed her start, and Kitagawa put their fastest sprinter in the third leg instead of the fourth. It was only natural she'd lose a spot or two; it's not her fault."

"What about the fourth girl?"

Yotsuba frowned. "All her fault. She should have done better."

We both let out a small laugh at that. Then, looking down at her tear-streaked face, mere centimetres away from mine, I just gave her a squeeze.

"That's not true, and you know it," I said quietly. "The team rises together and falls together. Your teammates depend on you, and you depend on them, right?"

"I... I guess," Yotsuba said quietly, her voice raspy.

"Then it's not your fault. It's not helpful to assign blame, right? You don't need to feel like you let your teammates down."

"But... but, Uesugi-san," she said, and her voice finally cracked, "if I can't help them win, what's even the point of me being there? What's the point, if I can't even do what they need me to do?"

At her words, she broke again, lowering her head back into my shoulder; and I held her tightly as the second wave of sobs racked through her body. Her hand clutched at my back, and I could feel my chest constricting in pain.

Her words, whispered into a phone in the depths of a cold night, echoed back to me in my mind.

I promised them that I would become somebody important. Somebody who was needed.

I didn't like seeing her like this. I couldn't do anything except feel helpless.

Eventually, though, as I held her tight and she cried into my shoulder, she eventually calmed. Pulling back and sniffing, she looked up at me.

"Sorry, Uesugi-san," she said, her eyes even redder than they had been. "I, um... I'll get you a tissue or something for your shoulder."

I waved her off with my free hand. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I don't really care about my shirt, I'm more concerned about you."

"I'm fine," Yotsuba said, her voice strained. "Really, I am."

I raised an extremely skeptical eyebrow at her.

"...Ok, I will be fine," she said, looking away from me. "I'm just... I'm not right now. But I will be. So... you don't need to worry, Uesugi-san."

Somehow, after everything that had just happened, her words stung. It was as though, after the connection that had been there as she cried into my shoulder, after she had opened up about her insecurities, she was backing out again, retreating behind a mask.

Biting my lip, I just nodded, and looked away as well.

There was an awkward silence between us, neither quite knowing how to proceed. My arm was still around Yotsuba's shoulder... but where before it had felt comfortable, and easy, suddenly it felt unsettled; as though leaving it there wasn't quite right, but removing it also wasn't quite right. It was a strange, interstitial zone.

Ambiguous.

Then, after a moment, Yotsuba coughed.

"Um," she said, glancing back over at me as she rubbed at her eyes to remove the last remnants of the tears, "you... you were going to tell me about your ex, remember?"

"Uh... right."

Awkwardly, I finally removed my arm from around her shoulders, a move that prompted a small, subtle movement from her; a look crossed her face for a fraction of a moment, but I couldn't tell if it was disappointment or relief. It was too fast for me to discern.

"I... don't really know where to start," I said awkwardly, scratching my head. "Let me think..."

Yotsuba waited silently while I stared at the wall across the narrow hallway, my mind churning. Reconstructing facts about her appearance, her personality, the time we'd spent together. The time we'd spent apart. The good. The bad.

Her flowing, black hair.

"Her name," I said softly, "is Takebayashi."

Yotsuba stayed silent, looking up at me.

"We were in elementary school together," I said quietly. "I was young, and a bit of a delinquent, and also a bit of an idiot. Takebayashi was in my class, and was always a top student. Something I couldn't be... and so, I looked up to her a lot."

Glancing over at Yotsuba, I was a bit surprised to see how un-surprised she looked at learning I'd been a delinquent.

"Go on," she said simply.

"I had a bit of a crush on her, but it wasn't anything major. The sort of stupid crush that kids have. I would show off for her, and she would tell me to shape up. That sort of thing. At least, that's how it started."

Shifting my shoulders, I sighed. Talking about her was dredging up memories that I'd been trying desperately to bury for years.

"In the summer of our last year of elementary school, we went on a school trip. While I was there, I had... I don't really know how to put this."

Pulling my legs in tight, I focused in on the wall across from me. It was blank. Plain. Easy to lose yourself in.

"A 'life-changing experience'. I guess that's probably the best way to put it. I... met someone, who changed my life. Someone who completely turned my outlook on its head."

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Yotsuba, but I ignored it; my unseeing eyes were locked forward, my thoughts and my vision turned entirely inward.

To her.

My jaw tightened.

"I decided on that trip that I was going to devote myself to studying. I wanted to improve myself... and become somebody who could make a lot of money, and support my family. I wanted that with everything I had."

A pause. The words were hard to get out.

"I wanted to be somebody who was needed."

Leaning back, my head gently knocked against the wall behind me, and I closed my eyes. Somehow, the ensuing darkness made it... easier.

"You might not believe this," I said softly, "but I was a terrible student. I don't know, maybe I've told you this before. I couldn't study to save my life; and I didn't have any interest in it before the trip. So, when I got back, I tried to throw myself into it... and failed."

There was a quick laugh from Yotsuba, though I didn't open my eyes to look at her. Yet, she didn't say anything, something that I quietly appreciated.

This is hard enough as it is...

Taking a breath, I squared my shoulders. "That's where Takebayashi... that's where she came in. I went to her, and asked her to help me. Begged her, really. I was completely lost, and she was my guiding light. She was the best example I had of what I wanted to be."

Yotsuba was silent, the only sound the softness of her breathing next to me.

"I... admired her. A lot," I murmured. "Eventually, she agreed to tutor me. I was ecstatic; I'd tried and tried on my own, and it went nowhere. I needed the help. It took a long time, but she was eventually able to whip me into shape, more or less, by the time New Year's came around six months later.

"I was spending nearly every week-night at her place, or in the library, or studying at my family's apartment. Always with her. Sometimes, her friend would join us; you saw him earlier, the black-haired boy leaning on the column when I ran away. Sanada."

"I don't think I actually saw him," Yotsuba said. "I didn't really get to see anything before you dragged me away."

"A-Ah," I said, opening my eyes and glancing at her. "My bad."

"It's fine," she said dismissively. She wasn't quite looking at me. "Keep going."

"Right. Sanada," I said, turning back to look at the wall across from me. "Anyways, he would join us sometimes... but a lot of the time, it was just the two of us. Originally, I was convinced I didn't have a shot with her. She and Sanada were childhood friends, and it was obvious at a glance how close they were. But..."

Trailing off, I shifted uncomfortably. We were starting to get into the point that I hadn't spoken about in years.

To anybody.

"I was wrong," I whispered. "On New Year's Eve, we went to a shrine together, and then stayed up to watch the sunrise. I balled up my courage, and... I asked her out."

There was dead silence from Yotsuba.

"She said yes."

Swallowing, I closed my eyes again.

"There were only about three months left before we moved on to middle school. We knew that. We were also young; we didn't really know what it meant to date. So, it mostly consisted of us doing what we'd already been doing. Spending time together, hanging out. Going for dates, if you could call them that."

"If you could call them that...?" Yotsuba asked, a questioning tone in her voice.

"We had no idea what we were doing," I shrugged, opening my eyes. "It was mostly just walking around the mall holding hands. That sort of thing."

"...Oh."

"But... I was happy," I murmured. "I was really happy. I was in love, and I was getting to spend loads of time with the girl I admired. So... everything was perfect in my eyes. I was dating my tutor, sure, but I didn't care about that."

God, this is hard.

"Before we knew it, the school year had ended... and we weren't going to the same middle school. Takebayashi was going to go to a really good school on a scholarship, a prestigious one that my family could never afford, and my grades still weren't good enough to warrant any kind of consideration. I didn't want her to go, but I also wasn't selfish enough to try and hold her back from that. We promised we would try to still make it work... and we did. For a while."

Pulling my legs tighter, I looked up at the ceiling. I was studiously avoiding Yotsuba's face.

"As time went on, though... things got rockier. I... I was alone at my new school, and I was obsessed with studying. It was hard to make new friends. I tried, at least at first. But... it kept blowing up in my face. I would think I'd made a friend... and then, when I needed to prioritize studying over hanging out, they would abandon me. Sometimes, it was amicable; we would just slowly stop talking. I would talk to them, and they would get this awkward look on their face... and eventually, I learned to stop."

"Sometimes?" Yotsuba asked quietly.

"Sometimes. Sometimes, it... wasn't. Sometimes, they would end the friendship... or, whatever it was, loudly, and publicly. With name-calling, and anger, and... there were people who I'd thought were kind, and friendly. I learned pretty quickly that I was terrible at reading people."

She shifted next to me, her shoulder pressing against mine... and somehow, the touch made it a bit easier.

"...and Takebayashi?" she murmured.

"We would still meet up, and go for dates... but I had to work twice as hard to succeed, once I wasn't being tutored by her every day. More and more of my life was eaten up by studying... and I had less and less time to go out with her. It was once I didn't have her as a support anymore that I realized just how much of my success had really just been her. Not me."

All of it, really.

"I realized... I couldn't be dependent on her. As my tutor, she'd taken all the responsibility for my success onto herself... and I'd come to rely on her. So, I threw myself entirely into studying, so that I could become the sort of person I wanted to be... and it backfired on me."

I could feel it - I was trembling. Memories had been flooding back for a while; images of her black hair, of the warmth in her eyes. The fire, and rage, that had been there in the end.

The pain of our final conversation.

"It's kind of funny, looking back... our first kiss was only a couple of weeks before the end. Maybe it was her way of trying to get me to stop, to make time for her... I don't know. Eventually, it fell apart. Small arguments, born from miscommunication and distance... that grew with time."

Yotsuba's shoulder against mine grew tighter. I could only guess what she was thinking; it was obvious she could feel that I was trembling.

"In the end," I whispered, "the last fight was awful. It hurt, a lot. She... said a lot of things. Painful things..."

"Uesugi-san..."

"True things, too." I said, my voice shaking. "About the choices I'd made, and about my priorities... and about love. It was messy. I... I made her cry."

Yotsuba was silent.

"Then... it was done. I was gone from her life, and I'd done it to myself. Looking back, it wasn't entirely my fault... but a lot of it was."

Most of it.

My hands slid down to clutch around my lower shins. Somehow, pulling my legs in towards my body made me feel... smaller. As though, by reducing my size, I could evade the sight of the memories and emotions that were raging in my head. That were making my chest feel as though it were on fire, melting in the heat.

"I'd never been in that much emotional pain before," I murmured. "I just... shut down. I threw myself even more into studying, so that I could escape the guilt, and the hurt. Through my own stupidity, my first love had ended in flames."

Yotsuba's hand, light and cold, slipped forward and gently touched the back of mine. A quiet show of support. Yet, I still wasn't looking at her.

"So... eventually, I began to rationalize it," I said, my voice cracking. "I brooded, and I chewed over the decision... and I told myself that I'd made a mistake - not in studying, but in wasting my time with love in the first place. I convinced myself that love was moronic, and going out with Takebayashi had been the last remnant of the idiot I'd been before. That those who chose to love were fools, who would never amount to anything. That I would never again let myself be one of them."

Her hand on mine tightened, squeezing.

"I suppressed my emotions... because they hurt too much," I breathed. "I tried my best to lock away anything that didn't serve my purposes... and told myself it was for the best. That if I poured my everything into studying, and ignored everything else, I could become what I'd truly wanted."

Finally turning to look at Yotsuba, I could feel myself still shaking... but I steadied myself, and met her eye.

"I could become somebody who was needed. I could support my family, and to hell with anything I may have lost along the way."

Yotsuba's blue eyes were shadowed in the hallway, the austere fluorescent lights partially blocked by her ribbon and her hair hanging over her face. Yet, as she gazed at me, there was a look there that I truly didn't understand. It was too complex; too deep an array of emotion, of conflicting feeling and pain and hope and loss, and a thousand other things that I couldn't identify.

We stayed like that, wordless, for an innumerable amount of time. Seconds. Years. Eventually, though, Yotsuba's hand moved along mine, and interlaced her fingers with my own; and as our eyes held one another, there was a strange, unspoken feeling there.

"Uesugi-san..."

We were only a couple dozen centimetres apart. Her eyes were entrancing me, and after all I'd said, I wasn't sure I was thinking straight. I-

"...are you still in love with her?"

I looked away from her.

"...I don't know."

A sharp intake of breath from Yotsuba. I could feel the muscles in her hand tighten, subtly conveying the emotions she was feeling, whatever those were.

"...I don't think so," I continued, closing my eyes. "The pain is still there, buried. I locked up a lot of things... but I could never get rid of that. The fear, too; of seeing the same look in her eyes that I saw that night. I gave up on making new friends after what happened with her. So... it's hard to know what I feel. That said..."

Yotsuba was silent.

"I don't think so," I repeated, my voice growing more confident. "She's going to always be a part of me... but I think what's left now isn't love. It's... something a lot less than that. I... don't really know what it is."

She shifted, and let go of my hand. I glanced back at her to see that she was staring off at the other wall, her arms now crossed across her legs.

"I... see," she said dully, not quite looking at me.

I frowned. Somehow, I got the sense I'd said something to upset her... but I wasn't quite sure what it was.

"Did I say something to hurt you?" I asked, frowning. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"No," Yotsuba said. "I just... I'm processing a lot."

"Fair enough," I murmured, turning back.

I... don't know what to say.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Yotsuba rose to her feet. Dusting herself off, she glanced down at me.

"We should probably go back," she said flatly. "They'll be upset if we take too much longer."

"Oh- right," I said, rising uncertainly to my feet. "Uh... good call."

That was a bit abrupt...

She started to walk out... but then stopped, and turned to look back at me.

"Uesugi-san?"

"...Yes?"

"Thanks for telling me. It means a lot that you opened up to me like that."

I blinked, surprised. "Yeah, sure. I did promise, after all."

Yotsuba turned back around, and walked ahead of me out of the hallway; yet, as she turned left to walk back towards the group that was still milling around waiting for us, I caught a glance of her face.

The look that had often snuck onto her face was there in full-force... but there was more.

Hurt.

Guilt.

Wait... guilt? That doesn't make any sense.

"Yotsuba..."

"Come on, Uesugi-san, let's go," she spun around and smiled at me, with energy that didn't quite reach her eyes. "They're waiting for us."

As she trotted back over to her teammates, and they eventually departed to go celebrate, I was overcome by a sinking feeling in my stomach. An unknown sense of anxiety, my subconscious identifying a source of danger that my waking mind hadn't yet honed in on.

Somehow, as Yotsuba walked away, she seemed further away than she'd ever been.

---

A/N: A storm's brewin'...

The next few chapters are going to be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I hope you'll all bear with me.

As a warning ahead of time, there are probably going to be some more disruptions to the publication schedule (insofar as I have one...) - I'll do my best to get chapters out in a timely manner, but I'm afraid I can't make any promises.

I have a good reason, though, I promise! Namely, I'm getting married in early July. So... that's been eating up quite a bit of my time at the moment; as you might imagine haha. It also means that, as we move further into June, I'm going to have even less time to write...

I'm planning to put out chapters when I can, but I may end up delaying so that I can space certain chapters in such a way as to not have too long of a gap between them. You'll definitely see why when we get there.

Finally, a huge thank you to Miimbot for sharing some of their research on Japanese track meets with me. Their help was invaluable, and I really appreciate it!

Thanks for reading, and see you in the next chapter!