(Clementine's Pov)
I watched as Violet would work on the card tower over and over again, I then looked to the side to see Marlon by himself at the table. In all honesty he hasn't really done any work, but right now I couldn't deal with it. I looked back to Violet who was putting all her concentration on the cards.
"Damn it." She muttered as the cards fell over.
"Try again." I tell her and she nods as she does so. It took a bit but she stumbled a bit as she tried to move making the cards fall down again.
"God damn it." She mutters. I watch as she tried to build the cards again.
"Need some help?" I asked and she nods as she hands me some cards and I help her. AJ and the others came over and they wanted to help so Violet gave them some cards to work with. I helped Violet and as we get close to the top the cards collapse and she got mad.
"What the fuck cards? Louis your cards are jank." She says to him and he laughed at this.
"No, they aren't you just suck at card stacking." He says.
"Jokes on you Clementine was building the card tower." She says and he looked to me and I nod.
"Oh… then the cards are Jank." He says and Violet looked to me then to him and waved her arms at the cards.
"WH- Make it make sense." She says and I laughed at this.
"Let's go on patrol." She says and I look to her then to the others and I nod.
"Ok, AJ want to-."
"I'm on watch Clem." He says as he runs to the tower and I nod and look to Violet and follow her to do some patrolling.
"Sorry, you didn't have to come if you didn't want to." She says.
"No, it's fine, not bothering me in any way." I tell her as we walked some more.
"So how do you think we will do? You know with the raiders?" She asked and I looked at her a bit and then saw her hands kind of shaking.
"I think we will do fine as long as we stick to the plan we have, as long as we do that, we're golden." I tell her and she nods and takes a breath.
"Sorry I just… we never had to do this and I just… don't want any more kids to be taken or die or just… I don't know." She says and I nod.
"I understand, I haven't had a group for so long it's kind of weird for me to be working with people again, you know?" I asked and she laughed a bit.
"I was never a people person." She tells me and I fake gasp.
"Really? Violet not a people person? It's unheard of." I say and she laughs a bit.
"You know how to make people smile." She says.
"It's one of my many charms, thank you for taking notice." I say and bow a bit and she laughed again. We just walked around a bit and would chat about anything we could. It wasn't long till we finish the walk and Violet went back over to Louis and tried to stack the cards again. She looked to be having fun with Louis and I look to Marlon who was just looking to the gate. I didn't say anything to him and I look over to AJ, Tenn. and Willy as they watched Violet and Louis stacking the cards. We then decided it was best for all of us to go to sleep so the guys grabbed Marlon and I take AJ to our room and I see Violet pass us by.
"Hey you good?" I asked and she nods.
"Oh yeah, I's fine." She says and laughed a bit.
"Hey uh… do you want to stay in our room, I just… don't think you should be alone if you're drunk." I say and she looked to me.
"Nah, it's good." She says and goes into her room and I nod then head into my room. I look to AJ as he laid on his bed and I take my hat off and lay on my bed and looked up to the bed above me.
"Do you think this will go well?" I hear and look to AJ as he looks at me.
"I honestly don't know, I hope so, and I don't know how long till the raiders get here." I say to him and take a breath.
"It's messed up what Marlon did." He says.
"I know." I say to him.
"Why did Violet drink?" He asked and I look back over to him a bit and looked back to the bed above me.
"I don't know, I mean I had a few swigs too so I can't say anything." I tell him.
"You drank?" He asked and I look at him.
"Just a little… but you shouldn't ever do it, it's a nasty habit and it tastes gross." I say and he laughed a bit.
"I won't." He says.
"Alright, time to sleep, tomorrow we are going to practice more and maybe work." I say and he nods. I blow out the candle and we end up sleeping. I was woken up by a knock on the door so I open my eye and I look to see the stars were still out so I get up and see AJ still sleeping. I head over to the door and see Violet as she was about to leave.
"Vi?" I yawned and she looked to me.
"Shit sorry I thought… sorry." She says and I look to her hand to see another bottle and I sighed as I closed the door.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I thought… Minnie was in there." She says and I nod as I help her to her room. I opened the door and she walked in and I go in behind her, I take the bottle from her gently and she looked to me.
"No more, ok?" I asked and she nods and she takes a seat on her bed.
"Sorry I forgot she… wasn't here I didn't mean to bother you." She says to me.
"Nah it's fine, just can't blame me if I sleep in." I joked and we both laughed and I look around the room. It was a simple room, nothing much really, and only one bunkbed.
"Um… I just…. sorry I'm going to sleep, sorry." She mutters and I watched her a bit. as she just stayed seated, made no movement to sleep and I go over to her and help her lay down.
"What happened to your eye?" She asked and I look to her.
"I already explained what happened." I tell her.
"You did?" She asked and I nodded.
"Yeah, happened when I was young, only eleven." I tell her.
"Shit… I forget that it's been so long." She says and I nod at her.
"Eight years to be exact." I tell her and she nods.
"Makes me old." She says.
"How old are you?" I asked and she shrugged.
"I was eleven when it happened, so… nineteen?" She asked and I think a bit and nod.
"Yeah that sounds right." I tell her.
"Hah… good at math while drunk." She mutters and I couldn't help but smile at this. She looked tired, I really looked to her and I move some hair out of her face and she looked to me a bit and I smile.
"You look tired." I say.
"Hmm, aren't we all?" She mutters and I nod in agreement. We all were tired, the fear of the raiders coming and taking everyone away, the fear of Walkers, your friends dying or betraying you, it gets to you.
"You look tired too." She says and I smirk a bit at her.
"I mean, you did wake me up from my beauty sleep." I say and she laughed and then covered her mouth.
"Too loud… sorry." She says and I roll my eye.
"You're fine, Walkers can't climb walls." I say.
"Oh god… if they did we would have been dead long time ago." She says and I lean my back against the wall and she turns her body to look at me. we just talked about anything we could, she told me that her and Louis once caught a Walker by the river and Louis had a stick and poked it.
"He… he fucking poked it?" I laughed and she nods.
"He said 'Well it's dead so I'm going to poke it with a stick' …. Damn thing just gargled at him." She says and I feel my eyes go heavy and I looked to the wall a bit.
"So, like… it's a shitty world out there hu?" She asked and I nod.
"Very shitty… if I have to be honest." I say and yawned a bit and shook my head.
"I'm a bit jealous of you guys… but also sad." I tell her and she put her hand on top of mine.
"Sorry… I wish you didn't have to go through what you did." She tells me and I look to her.
"Well, at least I can help you guys." I tell her and she nods. I don't know when but I ended up falling asleep. I only knew because I was woken up by some movement in the bed, and a knock at the door. I get up to see Violet still sleeping and there was another knock so I get up and answer the door.
"Holy shit, Clementine, I didn't know you were in here." Louis says and I look to him.
"Hmm, Violet woke me up." I tell him.
"Shit." He mutters.
"No, no she… we can talk later but I think she needs to sleep some more." I tell him and he nods as I exit out the room and closed the door. we walked out to the back of the school and I saw AJ, Tenn. Willy and the others trying to clear out the playground. I go over to AJ and helped him a bit and they found some old sports equipment and a few balls here and there. I found a baseball bat and I swing it a bit.
"Yo I found a baseball." Louis says and comes over to me as I go put the bat in a pile.
"Looks a bit withered don't you think?" I asked as he put it in the pile.
"Yeah, but there might be more inside the gym." He says and I nod at this. Ruby comes over with some sticks and Aasim had an arm full of weeds and set them in a separate pile. We could use the stick for kindeling and the weeds for compost if we had to.
"I'm going to get Violet." Ruby says and I look to her and I stopped her.
"I think she needs some sleep, she had… another bottle with her." I tell her.
"Ok… we need to get rid of those damn things." She says and I nod as she heads into the school and I look to the others. I see Marlon as he was just sitting by the old slide and I go over to him.
"What?" He asked pissed and I put my hands on my hips a bit.
"Why did you tell them that Minerva and Sophie were dead?" I asked. He kept silent and I was getting a bit angry at this.
"You hurt a lot of people." I tell him.
"Less than you." He says and I glare at him and then crouch down to his level.
"I didn't tell people that their friends were dead to cover up the fact that I gave them up, because between you and I… I never had to give others up to keep my own ass safe." I tell him and he looked to me.
"I was not a coward." I say and point to my eye.
"I had to take charge when I was young too… I know stress, but I still never gave my own group members up." I tell him and then stood up.
"…How could I tell them?" He asked and I look to him.
"Warn them, tell them that there is potential danger, maybe give yourself up, trust me there are many things… I get it though, no one wants to give themselves up, especially these days and in the old days… it's fucking terrifying… but I'm a bit different when it comes to the rules." I tell him.
"I… needed to help the others." He says. I look away and laugh a bit.
"And yet… here we are." I tell him and he looked to me.
"What am I supposed to do?" He asked.
"You could have told them anything, why do I have to teach them how to train themselves for a fight that might happen tomorrow or next week, or fuck in a month." I tell him.
"We have traps-."
"For Walkers and are only damaging to one walker per trap unless you're damn lucky and get two bunched up…. There is more to planning then what you have." I tell him and he looked away and I sighed and take a seat and looked to him.
"Marlon… look I don't mean to be a bitch, I know what it's like out there I know what people can and will do, I get it this situation is new for you guys… you met Lily what a year ago?" I asked and he nods a bit.
"Ok… yet you still let your friends go out there without knowing the potential danger that they could have been taken by her group, and Brody… you didn't have to kill her." I tell him and he looked to me.
"I didn't want to." He says and I raise my hands up a bit.
"I get it, quick to anger, not thinking right, but it made you look bad… if I hadn't gone through what I did I would have beaten the hell out of you, but I get it… this world is fucking scary, people are doing things they never thought they would ever have to do." I tell him and he looked down to the ground.
"I think you should talk to them about everything, you were stressed out and no one really helped you but you never asked for help did you?" I asked him and he kept silent. I nod a bit and then get up from the ground and went and continued to help with cleaning up the playground more. it was about mid afternoon when we finished cleaning up the area and Tenn. Willy and AJ were playing on the swings and I look to see Ruby with Violet as they came over.
"Sorry for keeping you up." Violet says and I nod and pat her back.
"It's fine, you sleep good?" I asked and she shook her head.
"Kept waking up… fucking head hurts." She says and puts her hand to her head and I smirk a bit.
"Ah the dreaded hangover… it'll go away soon." I tell her and she nods and looked to the playground a bit.
"Shit, I forgot how big this place was." She says and I nod and she looked over to Tenn and the others. I stretched a bit and cracked my back.
"I'm going to get some more fish and check the traps, make up for the work I missed out on." She says.
"I'll come with." I tell her.
"Nah it's fine… I think I need to be alone for a bit… you know clear my head." She says and I look at her a bit.
"It's best if someone went with you." I tell her and she sighed.
"Yeah… yeah." She says and I look to her a bit.
"I'll go with you." I tell her and she just nods a bit. I go tell Ruby and the others and they say they were going to take all the debris and clean up the area a bit more as well as set up any new traps they think might be good. I nod and tell them to make sure to write down what they do so if there are hidden traps, we can be careful of where they were. I go take a look at Violet as she was heading out the gate and I go follow her. We just walked in silence and I would look to the trees a bit as the cool wind made them sway. I would look in front of me and see Violet as she just kept walking so I go up next to her. She looked down to me a bit and then back to the front and I look to the front as well. We reached the river and she looked to the shed a bit and I go in and grabbed the spears and come back out to see her looking at the traps.
"Still nothing." She mutters and sets the traps back in the water and I hand her the spear and she grabbed it as she got up and I look at her.
"You need to talk." I say and she looked to me and she rubbed the back of her neck.
"I've done enough talking if I have to be honest." She says and I shrugged.
"Sure, you could say that but I think you have more on your mind." I say and she shrugged.
"I shouldn't have drank, I knew it was wrong but I still did it." She says and I look to her a bit.
"I didn't help much I let you drink." I tell her.
"It… I don't know." She says and I look to her. I didn't push it any further and we got some fish and put them in the bucket. When we finished at the river we went and looked at the traps and there was a few rabbits and I grabbed them as she reset the traps. It wasn't long till we finally got back to the school and we gave the fish and rabbits to Omar who thanked us and I nod and looked to Violet as she went to the playground. I didn't follow her I knew she needed some time to herself and I go over to the bonfire and took a seat on the couch and I look to the flames a bit as they danced.
"Hey want to play a card game?" Louis asked and I nod as he pulled out his deck of cards.
"Any rules?" I asked.
"Just try and win, Aces are high this game." He says and I nod as we played a bit. Some days would pass us and I got use to everyone here, currently I was with Louis as he was showing me a new song he had been working on and I was sitting on the side of the piano as he played the keys and I watched as he did.
"So what do you think?" He asked.
"Very nice, very calming, I think you should paly it for the others." I tell him and he chuckled.
"You think?" He asked and I nod.
"Yeah, it's therapeutic." I say and he nods and presses a few keys and I look at him.
"Look I know you don't like talking about relationships and such." He says and I look to him.
"But… Could we maybe have a chance?" He asked and I look to him.
"Look you are a nice guy and all." I say and he looked to me and I take a breath.
"But?" He asked and I looked to the side a bit.
"But I'm not looking for anyone to be in a relationship with… besides let's be honest here you still don't know a lot about me." I tell him.
"I could if we talked more." He says and I nod at this. He was right, I didn't talk much with him.
"Do you like Violet?" He asked and I look at him.
"No, why would you ask that?" I asked him.
"Well, you hang out with her a lot." He says.
"She needs someone to talk to… besides let's say I do… hypothetically like her." I say and he looked to me.
"Minerva could still be alive." I tell him.
"So… I might have a chance?" He says and I laugh and shove him a bit.
"Sorry I didn't mean to act this way… it's just… you're cool, and your fun, you know what the hell you're doing." He lists off and I look to him a bit.
"So, you like me because I'm cool?" I asked.
"Let's be honest, who wouldn't?" He says and I shake my head a bit and pressed a key on the piano.
"I told you about Gabe… he only liked me because I was cool, didn't listen to his uncle but listened to me… made me a little uncomfortable and sadly yes I did use the fact that he liked me to my so-called advantage." I say and looked to Louis and he looked to me.
"I felt like to him I was just someone new that… that wasn't his family that he should try and be with me, without knowing me, I could be lying about who I am but… teenage hormones." I say and looked to Louis as he looked to me.
"Yeah, but I'm not with family." He says and I shrugged.
"Yeah, but again… teenage hormones." I say.
"So, you think I'm only thinking about sex?" He says and I shake my head.
"No, no I just… how do I explain it?" I mutter to myself as I tried to find the right words.
"Ok when AJ was born, Luke and Jane just… they didn't care about anyone at the time… I lost my friend Sarah because they were too busy fooling around and Luke knew he was supposed to be on patrol watching for Walkers…. We lost someone because they wanted to forget." I tell him and he looked to me then I looked to the keys on the piano and he pressed another key.
"Gabe… just saw me and didn't give a damn about the truth, he didn't care to listen to his uncle but the moment I said something he's jumping to do it even though it was the same thing his uncle just told him to do… now I'm no damn saint but I didn't do something stupid like that." I tell Louis as he pressed another key.
"But I'm not doing any of that." He says and I look to him.
"But I'm busy with AJ." I tell him.
"We all can help, I mean I've helped him too, had nothing to do with you just the right thing to do." He says and I nod at this. He was right, I didn't ask him to watch AJ he just did it. They all did.
"Ok you got me on that." I say and sighed.
"Can I just have one chance?" He asked and I look to him he kisses me on the lips and I was in a bit of shock but I moved back a bit and he looked to me and I get up and leave the room. I head to the courtyard and AJ runs up to me.
"Clem look Tenn taught me how to draw." He says and I look to his drawings.
"They look good." I say and he takes me over to their table and I see Violet as she comes over to us.
"Omar says dinner will be ready soon." She says and I nod.
"Uh… is there anything else we need to work on?" I asked.
"No not that I know of, we know how to use our weapons, we have the traps set up, scarecrows as well." She says and I nod a bit at this.
"Are you ok?" She asked and I nod.
"Yeah, I'm fine just need to know what else we need to do." I say to her and I see her looking at me from my side vision and I see her look to Tenn and AJ as they showed her their drawings. I would look at them too and when dinner time came around, I didn't go near Louis and I was with AJ and Tenn at their table. I hear Violet talking to Louis asking what was wrong and he said it was nothing. Granted I shouldn't be acting like this it was just a simple kiss nothing bad, but I just told him I didn't want to be in a relationship. AJ asked if I was ok and I nodded at this and finished my dinner and then went to bed early. But I didn't sleep, I couldn't sleep. I hear a knock at the door but I don't get up to answer. I hear the door open and I see Violet.
"Hey… um… look something has to be bothering you and I just… you don't have to tell me." She says and I sit up in the bed and look to her.
"Nothing is bothering me I'm fine." I tell her and she looks to me and then nods a bit.
"I just… sorry it seemed like." She stops and take a breath.
"I'm fine trust me… and thanks for coming to ask me, it's nice." She says and she looked to me a bit and nods.
"If you ever want to talk you can talk to me… just um… I mean you listened to me so." She says and I nod at this.
"Thanks… actually could we go into town tomorrow?" I asked and she nods.
"Sure, I think we need more Ammo." She says and I nod and then she was hesitant to leave the room but when she finally did leave, I laid back on the bed and looked to the bed on top. AJ comes in and he goes to bed and I finally fall asleep just to be woken up by him as I opened my eye and saw the sun was up.
"Violet said to come get you." He says and I sit up.
"Hmm… to early." I muttered.
"You slept in." He says and I look to him.
"I mean, Violet said to let you sleep more and well." He says and I nod.
"Sorry Goofball." I say and rubbed his head and he looked to me.
"It's Alvin Junior." He says and I smirk.
"Ok Shitbird." I say to him.
"You're a shitbird." He says and I laughed and he smiled. I get up and stretched a bit. I grabbed my bag and walked out and Violet hands me a power bar and I nod in thanks as we head on out the gates, AJ of course coming with us. He was way in front of us and I could feel Violet looking at me and I look to her just to see her quickly look away.
"I got something on my face?" I asked.
"Yeah…. Your face." She says and I laughed a bit.
"…You're quiet." She says.
"Aren't I always?" I asked her.
"I mean… you usually say something and you seem a bit… stiff?" She asked and I look to her.
"Did something happen when you talked to Louis?" She asked.
"No, nothing happened, he just played some song he was working on." I tell her and she looked to me a bit and raised her hands up gently.
"Sorry I didn't mean to pry." She says and I sighed and looked to the dirt path a bit.
"… I hate relationships because they're bad, the ones I have seen, or when people attempted one with me… but I am a hypocrite." I say and she looked to me.
"Oh… you like Louis?" She asked and I shake my head.
"No… but I do like someone, just… it's complicated." I tell her. She kept silent and then I look to her.
"Is it Aasim?" She asked and I laughed at this and shook my head.
"No, god no, I know Ruby likes him." I say and she gasps and I look to her as she smirks.
"My oh my she likes him? I knew I saw her looking at him like a love sick puppy." She jokes and I shove her.
"Ok idiot." I mutter and she laughed a bit.
"Ok… so you like someone, and you don't want to be with them because you think what others did… you might do as well?" She asked and I shrugged.
"Maybe, but… they also like someone else." I tell her.
"Oh, that does make things complicated… so I'm guessing I don't know this person?" She says and I nod. Lying to her. God I'm a fucking hypocrite.
"Hmm… I think that maybe you should talk to them about it when you see them again… better to let it all out instead of keeping it bottled up you know? Or regretting that you never tried." She says and I nod a bit at this. Though it was more complex than that.
"But they like someone else." I say to her.
"Yeah, that is true… are they with them?" She asked.
"They were separated in a huge war that was going on, so I don't know if the person they like is alive or not." I tell her.
"Well, it still wouldn't hurt to try and ask… but if they are mourning them, it can be a bit… fickle?" She asked and I look to AJ.
"Yeah…. Look I don't mean to dump all this on you-."
"Oh no, don't be sorry I kept bothering you with it, if anything I should be sorry." She says and I look to her and think.
"Ok… put yourself in my shoes for a moment." I say.
"I don't think your shoes will fit me." She says and I shoved her and she laughed again.
"Ok, ok no more jokes, ok." She says and I nod.
"You don't like relationships, but then you meet someone and just… you want to be with them, but they like someone else, but that other person is missing… but they could be alive… then what do you do?" I asked and she looked to be thinking.
"Well, from what you are saying, I would still try and talk to them, but I would still respect their decision if they didn't want to pursue a relationship with me." She says and I nod.
"Ok." I say and we kept silent.
"But they would be a fool to not date you." She says and I look to her.
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Well, you aren't for relationships but this person must be special for you to basically let you call yourself a hypocrite… but I understand that it's confusing to you because you don't want to think you'll end up like the bad ones you've witnessed, it seems scary, I mean I would be scared too." She says and I get to thinking.
"I'll think on it… thanks for the advice." I say and she nods.
"Yeah anytime, though the advice isn't much." She says and I nod. We finally get to the gun shop and I grabbed any ammo and a spare pistol.
"So, the guy you like… they nice?" Violet asked and I look to her.
"Who says it's a guy?" I asked.
"Ok… girl… is she nice?" She asked and I nod.
"Yeah, she is… very nice." I say and she nods.
"She'd be a fool to not be with you." She says again and I nod a bit. If only she knew it was her, God I can't be doing this, not to her.
"Yeah." I say quietly and I shake my head a bit and then we head into another store and look around. We got some seeds for Ruby for the garden and I found some more books for AJ and Tenn. there was a lot of stuff here and I was surprised about it. To think no one has really been here, it was like people just forgot to grab the guns while here, to grab anything while here. We finally head back to the school and when we get there I looked to Marlon as he sat alone and I look to Violet who glared at him.
"You know… you all should have at least a civil conversation with him." I suggested and she looked to me.
"I don't think I can in all honesty… he gave away our own." She says and I nod.
"I get that, but he was… I'm not like him but I get it." I tell her.
"You don't seem to be the type to just get rid of people to save your own ass." She says and I nod. I'm not, I'm the type to get my own face bashed in to keep a bunch of adults safe. I was the type that was taught to help others and to stay neutral, Lee taught me that.
"I'm not, but I'm also the type to try and help others." I tell her.
"To good for your own good." She says and I look at her.
"If you were in his position, wouldn't you like to be heard?" I asked and she kept quiet and I could see the mixed emotions in her eyes. She sighed and then took the stuff over to Aasim and the others and I shake my head a bit. She's still angry and I get it, her girlfriend was given away like nothing, as if she wasn't a person, like she was just some item to be given up for trade. AJ comes over to me and I look to him and pat his head and we go take a seat. Then Violet comes over and takes a seat next to me and I look to her. Then the others also come over to me and take a seat.
"We all… agree that we should hear him out… I mean the last time we tried to it was a shit show but… it's been a few days now so… yeah." She says and I nod.
"I'm not saying you should automatically change your opinions but just hear him out a little at least." I tell them and they nodded. We all went inside and into the music room, the younger kids were sent to their room though since they didn't need to hear this, especially Tenn when it came to his sisters. Marlon didn't look to anyone and I was seated near the side of the room, it wasn't my place to talk but to mediate and make sure they didn't hurt him or try too at least.
"Why didn't you give yourself up?" Mitch asked.
"I had to help you all." He says.
"The fuck you did, you-."
"I was the only one making plans to keep us safe, I was the only one working so damn hard to keep you in the safe zone, that's why I made the damn thing." Marlon says and I look to him.
"But to give up our own?" Ruby asked and he looked to her.
"What was I to do? You weren't there, you guys would have done the same thing, and don't say you wouldn't because you would have, anyone would have." He says and I look to all of them as they look to him.
"I wouldn't have given up Tenn's sisters." Violet says.
"You would have given Brody up, I know you hated her." He says pissed.
"I DIDN'T HATE HER!" Violet yelled and I get up as I watched her clench her hands into fists.
"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER AND I, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED HER BECAUSE SHE RATTED YOUR BITCH ASS OUT!" She yelled.
"Hey, hey calm down." I say and she looked at me then to Marlon.
"You would have given someone up, fuck Minerva wasn't even supposed to be there, you were blame yourself." He says and I look to Violet as she glared at him but then she looks to the side a bit and I shake my head.
"You were there." Louis says and I look to him.
"You were there too, but you gave them up, you didn't call for help and now you're going to tell Violet she's at fault for you giving up the twins?" Louis asked and Marlon looked away.
"No, don't fucking look away, how the hell are you going to fucking blame Violet for you giving up the twins." Louis says and I watch him then Marlon.
"Because I would have just given one up not two." He mutters and I glare at him.
"So that's all she would have been? You wouldn't have cared at all?" Ruby asked and I look to Violet who looked a bit shocked at this and she looks down to the ground.
"You don't fucking understand anything, I'm done talking." Marlon says.
"You know what, you're a fucking ass, I wish AJ had shot you, you fucking piece of shit." Mitch says.
"Fuck you, none of you asked questions about Minerva and Sophie."
"WE THOUGHT THEY WERE DEAD, YOU SAID WALKERS GOT THEM WE FUCKING TRUSTED YOU!" Louis yelled.
"YOU STILL SHOULD HAVE ASKED!" He yelled back.
"And you would have told them? You would have just told them everything at the drop of a hat, had they just asked? But yet you killed Brody… because she told me." I say and they all looked to me.
"She told me, and now she's dead, you killed her… so with that in your head, you would have just blabbed had someone asked?" I asked him and he kept silent and I nod.
"You wouldn't… you probably would have killed them too for asking to many questions." I say.
"I wouldn't-."
"BULLSHIT!" Aasim yelled. we all stayed silent and I crossed my arms as I think. This was just one huge mess, I don't think this was even a good idea to try and let them talk it out had I known this was going to happen. I mean it was a possibility but I didn't think he would say something stupid like this.
"Ok this is getting a little out of hand." I say.
"No, he deserves to hear this, he did this, we didn't put a fucking gun to his head." Mitch says.
"BUT THOSE ADULTS DID!" Marlon yelled and I look to him then to the others.
"YOU JUST SAID YOU WOULD HAVE TRADED VIOLET! YOU BLAMED HER FOR MINERVA AND SOPHIE BEING TAKEN, YOU'RE A FUCKING SELFISH PRICK!" Aasim yelled and I look to Violet who didn't speak and she just looked to the fireplace a bit and I go over to her. I see tears in her eyes and she looked to me a bit and wiped them away and cleared her throat a bit.
"Sorry." She says and I shake my head.
"Don't be." I whispered and she just nods a little and looked back to Marlon then back to the fireplace. I stand up and place my hand on her shoulder and look to Marlon.
"You all wish I was dead, some fucking friends." Marlon says and they looked pissed all of them.
"Yeah, well you're alive, you better thank Clementine for that, I wanted your ass out of here, I will never trust you again, fuck I hope when the raiders come, the only person they kill is you." Mitch says.
"You don't mean that." I say.
"The hell I do, look at what he has done, you haven't been here long but you see that the shit he has done is just fucked up." Mitch says and I look to him.
"I get it but… I hated someone in my group but I never wanted them to die… but I get it, you all are angry and you all have every right to be angry, just… it's not a good feeling to me personally when someone says stuff like that." I tell him. He looked to the side and then to me and takes a breath.
"Sorry I just… he's acting like what he did was ok, and then… the shit he just said." Mitch says and I nod.
"I get it, again you all have every reason to be mad, just… don't say stuff like that." I tell him and he nods a bit. we were all quiet and Omar went to go check on dinner and Violet gets up and leaves the room and I rubbed my head a bit as the others leave too and I look to Marlon. He glared at me then looked to the ground as he sat on the floor.
"This is your fault." He says and I look to him.
"I didn't do anything." I tell him.
"If you hadn't shown up-."
"You would have traded your friends, lied to the others or maybe traded them all… whatever your plan was it was not my fault to stop it… you really think they'd want to fight in a war?" I asked him.
"They wouldn't have." He says and I look to him. I think a bit and then take my jacket of and show him the scar on my arm back when I was with the New Frontier.
"I had to get this at thirteen… I was on my own with AJ, I thought what I was doing was good because AJ and I had a home, but those people betrayed me… made me think I was part of their group but the moment I had to take medicine to help AJ, they threw me out like I was garbage… and they took AJ from me… a drugged-up doctor who pumped himself up with the good medicine, stuff people would actually fucking need…. He got to decide weather AJ should live or die… they said he was a burden but look at him." I say and he looked to me.
"He's alive, he is a survivor…. But because of them he has trauma, they sent him to what they called the Ranch, had him locked up in a damn locker… scared out of his mind… I fought to get him back, because I grew up outside these walls… but I would never want anyone even you… to have to deal with what I had to." I tell him and he kept silent and I think.
"I had been in another group before I got here, before I found AJ… you know they raped kids?" I asked him and he looked to me with wide eyes and I nod at this.
"Yeah… not the best thing to hear… someone screaming for help yet no one could in fear of getting shot…. I haven't seen Lily in years but… what if her group did that?" I asked him.
"They… not everyone-." He tried to say but stopped.
"Imagine that the twins are alive and they had to hear that stuff… maybe even been involved in that situation… they will never be the same and they will only have one person to blame." I say and point to him.
"Or they could be dead… we don't know… we may never know." I tell him and he looked to me.
"I didn't… I would never want that to happen." He says.
"No one does… but you blaming Violet for what you did… she probably does think it's all her fault… she probably thinks right now that she should be the one suffering, I don't know how she thinks but the look on her face… that was guilt… because you blamed her of course she's going to blame herself, you knew this when you said it." I tell him and he was quiet. I put my jacket back on and looked down to him as I stood up.
"You really need to think about what you should say to them as an apology, but don't expect them to forgive you so easily." I say to him and then leave the room and I look to see everyone outside and Violet was missing. I think and head to her room to see no one and I rubbed the back of my head and I head back out to the others.
"Hey were is Violet?" I asked.
"She's up on the Belltower, it's best to let her be for now." Louis says and I look to him then nod and take a seat.
"Clem, I got a question for you." Mitch says and I look to him as he looked to me.
"I may or may not have an answer." I say and he nods a bit.
"Why are you so neutral?" He asked.
"Ah… Lee was a neutral man, he tried to look at things from both perspectives, I can see why Marlon did what he did, and I like you guys know what it's like to be betrayed by someone I thought I could trust… but I can be a bit of a hypocrite because I did bash a guys head in but he was pure evil, there was no looking at him and thinking he was once a good guy… I don't think he ever was." I tell him and he nods at my answer.
"So, what about Marlon?" He asked.
"I get it, he was scared but he never should have said what he did, that's why I stepped in when he said ya'll should have asked more questions, made no damn sense to me so I spoke up… though to be honest it wasn't my place to speak." I tell him.
"No, I'm glad you did… I was going to beat the hell out of him." Louis says and I look to him then to the others.
"Look, you don't need to forgive him, I don't blame you, I thought everyone could talk it out, you guys had a few days to calm down but I get it, wounds have been opened." I say and they nod a bit.
"But we thought we could handle it too." Ruby says and I nod. The boys were over at the table drawing and then we all had dinner. When done everyone had gone to bed and I see Violet as she comes over and grabbed a bowl to eat and I look to her. I didn't say anything to her and I looked to the gate a bit before I looked back to her as she set her bowl to the side.
"You wanna be on watch with me?" She asked and I nod as does she and we get up and go to the makeshift tower. She climbed up and then grabbed her guitar and I take a seat with her as she looked to the walkers and strummed her guitar a bit. It felt cold tonight but I've been through worse. Just glad that AJ has a warm place to stay.
"You cold?" I hear and look to Violet who looked to me.
"Nah I'm use to it." I tell her and looked to the Walkers.
"Doesn't mean you can't admit you're cold, I can see you shivering." She says and I roll my eye and looked to the Walkers.
"Hold on." She says and she gets up.
"No don-."
"Oh, shut it, I'll be right back." She says and I sigh as she leaves into the school and I look to the Walkers again. I feel the wind hitting my face and it brought me back to when I was with Christa. Thank God it wasn't raining like it did when we found that stupid weasel. I still don't know if she's alive, what would she think of me now?
"Hey." I hear and look to see Violet next to me and then something was placed on my back and I noticed it was one of those heavy jean jackets with those wool lining on the inside. I nod as she takes a seat next to me and I couldn't help but lean my head on her.
"So, mind telling me more about this mystery woman you like?" She asked and I look to her a bit.
"She's nice… has a lot on her plate but she seems to get shit done." I say and she chuckled at this and I think.
"You trying to see if she's good enough for me?" I asked.
"Hmmm, maybe." She chuckled as I shake my head a bit.
"You are weird." I say and she laughed again.
"Sorry, I'll try and make sure I'm not weird around your crush." She says and I shake my head a bit.
"Nah it's fine, be weird, it's who you are." I say and she chuckled again.
"Remember who you are." She says and I laugh.
"Oh god I miss movies." I say as I looked to the Walkers.
"Same… I think we got one of those old timey films and stuff but no power so." She says and I sighed at this.
"Would have been great to have a movie night." I say and move closer to her. She then moved her arm to wrap around my waist a bit and then grabbed her guitar and strummed it a bit and I look to her hands.
"You want to learn?" She asked and I shook my head.
"No, I'm good, I like listening to you play." I tell her and I feel her nod a bit and she plays the guitar a bit and some Walkers were looking for where the sound was coming from, but then they would go back to walking around and I looked to the Walkers a bit. I moved a bit and I could feel her chuckling.
"Comfortable?" She asked and I nod.
"You're warm." I say.
"Well, I'm glad I can be your personal heater." She says and strums the guitar a bit more. I felt so comfortable like this. It was calming even when there were Walkers below us, how can she make me feel like this? Why do I feel like this? How can she make me feel like this? I haven't known her for so long and yet I feel safe right here with her. I moved up a bit and looked at her and she looked at me. I moved closer to her and then I kissed her on her lips. The strumming stopped and my eyes were closed and I pulled away a bit keeping my eyes closed, waiting for her to do something, push me away or something. I then feel her cupping my face and then I feel her lips on mine again. It felt nice. It felt so damn nice. I kissed her more and she moved her hands from my face down to my waist and we kept kissing till we pulled apart to breath. I kissed her again and she pulled me closer to her and then she moved from my lips down to my neck and kept her head near my neck.
"Fuck… sorry I shouldn't." I hear her say as she moved away from my neck and I look at her.
"I… I don't know… I'm sorry." I say and I get up and head down the ladder.
"Wait, Clem wait a minute." I head and I kept walking.
"I shouldn't have done that." I say and I feel her grab me and I look to her as she looked to me.
"Look you don't have to say anything to your crush I get it a spur of the moment thing, right?" She asked and I looked down to the ground.
"It was stupid I'm sorry." I tell her.
"Yeah, I uh… I get it, don't be sorry." She says and I take a breath.
"Um… you uh… have a good sleep, ok?" She asked and I nod as she let me go and I head to my room. I go and lay on my bed and I feel like shit. Why the hell did I do that? But she kissed me back too, why did she do that?
"I'm fucked." I muter before I get some sleep.