(Violet's Pov)

"We can rest up here for the night, and head out early in the morning." I tell my group as I looked to them.

"Thank fuck." Jared says and I nod as we set up camp for a bit. We were currently in a small abandoned town, I have no idea of the name right now I'm to tired to remember. We had lost contact with the other groups a month back and I had been trying to get the radio to work again. But in reality, I just couldn't figure out what was wrong.

"Fucking Kal breaking the damn thing." I hear a private say and I look to him.

"He didn't break the radio, you did, you fucking dropped it." I tell him.

"He shoved me." He says.

"Learn to walk better." I mutter as I work on it more.

"You should be the one fixing this shit anyway." I tell him as I looked to the wires.

"You know what-."

"I suggest stop trying to pick a fight with Aldon, she's been at this longer than us." Jared says and I look to the private as they looked to me.

"Yeah right, bullshit." He says and I worked on the radio more.

"I've been here before… had to be sent back because I was at those death camps." I tell him.

"We've all been to those." He says.

"No, she was actually in one, as a prisoner." Kal tells him and I look to the private.

"Suuure." He says and I get up from my spot. I go and grabbed a shovel and shove it into his arms and he looked to me and I grabbed my service pistol and point it at his head.

"Dig or you die." I tell him.

"Woah hold-." I pointed my gun at the others as they tried to get up and I looked to the private.

"Dig or they die." I tell him and he just looked to me. I pulled back the hammer and look to him.

"Hey woah hold on-."

"They say one more word to save you and they get their brains blown out, so start digging now, or you'll be responsible for their deaths." I tell the private and he moved slowly and put the shovel into the ground. I then point my gun directly to his head and he freezes.

"DON'T STOP DIGGING!" I yelled and everyone was quiet and the private got back to digging.

"See this is what they did to me and my friends at those camps, you stop moving you die you talk or even say one word, you die… freezing half to death, hands so fucking cold I couldn't feel them, exhausted to the point that I was hoping the enemy would shoot me… imagine all the kids that had to do this, day in and day out, killed not knowing what they did was wrong." I tell him as I keep the pistol to his head.

"Aldon stop-." I lift up my gun and shoot it in the sky and the point it back to the private's head.

"Warning shot, see I'm better than those monsters." I tell him but he didn't speak and then I grabbed the shovel from him and threw it to the side.

"Don't ever tell another soldier what they have been through, you are just like that piece of shit who was telling is dads' stories as if they were his own." I tell him and then I go back to the radio and work on it.

"Jesus fuck why did they send you out here if you're this messed up." The private says and I look to him.

"You didn't have a sniper… and the best sniper lost her leg back in her home town." I tell him. Though to be fair it's not a lie, she had already finished her contract and after the camps it was best for her to leave, and she did lose her leg so they couldn't even send her out even if they wanted too.

As the others kept chatting away, I was still working on the radio and then I hear some static as I fixed it. the others look to me and I change the channels until I land on a good one.

"We are dropping the bomb I repeat we are dropping the bomb from the sky." We hear and I hurry and look up.

"GET YOUR SHIT NOW!" I yelled and they hurried and got what they could. We rushed to one of the buildings and I waited till the last soldier was in there was a loud booming sound and I looked to see a quick flash and some heavy winds. My eyes burnt like hell as I get in and I cover them with my hands.

I shoot up from the bed quickly as I take some deep breaths. I tried to look around to see where I was but nothing, it was dark, to dark and I grip my chest as I felt my heart bounding. I could hear my own hear in my ears and it was scary, I didn't like hearing my heart, it scared me when I could hear my own heart beating.

"Vi, hey it's ok." I hear and then feel my head being placed on a chest. I could hear another heart beating so I did my best to focus on that.

"It's ok." I hear and I recognize that it's Clem's voice. I try to calm down and focus on her. Just her. Just her and her heart beating. It was so calm, she wasn't panicking, why wasn't she panicking we were trapped, trapped in a building. She's so calm but yet we are trapped.

"Fucking… we need to leave." I tell her.

"Leave where?" She asked me and I tried to look at my surroundings.

"Vi?" She asked.

"Dark, it's too dark." I tell her.

"I'm going to turn the lamp on." I hear her say and I shut my eyes. I see some light so I slowly open my eyes. It was blurry but I could see we were in a room.

"Do you know where you are?" She asked and I shake my head.

"No, no don't… don't know." I tell her.

"We're back home, in Georgia, we're in your old room right now." She says and I look around more but it was still blurry.

"Can't… Can't see… good enough." I tell her.

"It's ok, just close your eyes, and listen to me breath." She tells me so I do just that. I don't know how long we were like this but I had finally calmed down. Clem got in the bed with me and I just kept my head on her chest. She was rubbing my head gently as her other hand was covering my ear, her arm on my face. I just laid there with her. She would tell me sweet words. How did I deserve someone like her? Why is she still with me? Why does she help me? I shouldn't need help I should be the one to help her.

"Do you want to talk?" She asked me quietly and I just looked to the nightstand.

"It's fine if you don't but talking does help." She tells me and I just keep looking at the nightstand. Why should I? if I talk, I have to remember, and if I remember I feel bad. And this is the never-ending circle of my actions.

"You should talk even if it's something random… hey let's talk baby names." She says and I moved my head and looked to the wall. Why talk about that? I wouldn't be a good parent; the kid would resent me. I can't help them if they need it, I'm pathetic, I'll always be pathetic.

"Maybe… oh think about it, how about Rose?" She asked and I shrugged at this.

"What about… Beatrice?" She asked me and I shrugged again.

"Come on I can't be thinking of all the baby names." She tells me and I just keep looking at the wall.

"What if we have a boy? We could name him Michale." She says and I just do nothing.

"Vi?" I hear and I take a deep breath and gripped her shirt.

"Vincent." I say.

"Oh, that's a nice name." She tells me and I nod.

"Was my great grandfathers name." I tell her.

"Hmm, if I remember my grandfather from my birth mothers' side was named… oh right William." She tells me and I chuckled.

"Was he nicked named Willy?" I chuckled and she giggled a bit.

"I wouldn't know." She giggled more and I grip her shirt more.

"How are you feeling?" She asked and I just keep silent. She has to stop asking about me.

"What about Francis?" I asked her.

"Hmm sounds a little to fancy for me." She says and I chuckled.

"Who would we let be the donor?" I asked her.

"Oh, we just tell them what we're looking for in a match, maybe someone who looks like you." She tells me and I think.

"We could ask Louis." I say and she laughed.

"Louis really?" She asked and I nod.

"I mean, he would be happy to help, he is nice, despite being an idiot he's actually smart, he just acts dumb to make people laugh." I list off a few things.

"Hmm, I wish we were advanced enough for two women to have children if I have to be honest." She tells me and I shrugged.

"Maybe in a hundred years." I mutter.

"You think?" She asked and I shrugged.

"Was the dream that bad?" She asked and I have to keep silent. If she knew what I had done. She would think I was a monster. Maybe I am a monster, she needs to leave me, I might hurt her.

"Did you take your medication?" She asked and I shook my head no. She tries to get up so I moved and I put my legs off the bed and was just sitting.

"I'll go get it; I have some dinner ready as well." She says and I look to see her figure moving so I get up as well.

"Hey it's fine you don't need to get up." She tells me and I shake my head.

"No, I need to get up." I tell her.

"Are you sure?" She asked and I nod. We head out to the kitchen and she hands me my medication. I take it and then we head to the dinner table. We had our meal and I drank some water.

"If we ask Louis, I honestly wouldn't mind Louis Junior." I say and she giggles.

"Come on you got jealous when he flirted with me." She says and I nod.

"Yeah, guess I did." I mutter and I took another drink of my water and set the glass on the table. I grabbed the fork and ate the pasta Clementine made.

"Oh, wow this is fantastic." I say and I hear Clementine laugh.

"I'm glad you like it." She tells me.

"Is this another one of Grandma Everetts recipes?" I asked.

"Nope, all me." She says and I look to her.

"How do you find the time to make this and study sports medicine?" I asked as I take another bite.

"I actually changed my degree plan." She tells me and before I take another bite I stop and look to her.

"You changed degree plans?" I asked.

"Yep, I'm in the culinary program." She tells me.

"Why?" I asked.

"…I like how when you smile when you have something good to eat." She tells me and I set my fork down.

"It makes me smile when you smile, I figured if I was going to be a good house wife I might as well learn how to make delicious food for you." She tells me and I just look to her.

"Clem, I told you, you don't need-."

"I'll still go to school for sports medicine but for now… I want to do this; it makes me happy and I enjoy it very much." She tells me and I look to the plate a bit.

"Trust me, it makes me happy, and I haven't seen you smile for real in a long time." She tells me and I look to her.

"I haven't?" I asked.

"You do smile but sometimes it seems forced to me." She tells me and I rubbed my arm a bit.

"I'm sorry for that." I tell her.

"Don't be. I just want to see you smile more." She tells me and I rubbed the back of my neck. She is just the kindest woman I have ever met, why? Why is she with me? She could be with someone so much better god damn it.

"Violet… you, ok?" I hear and I nod.

"I'm fine." I tell her and then I ate more of the dinner.

"You say you are but you don't seem like you are." She tells me and I look at her a bit as I finished my plate.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" I asked her.

"Why would you ask that?" She asked me and I look to her as best as I could.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" I asked again and I wish I could see her.

"Violet what exactly is making you think like that?" She asked me. I kept quiet. Should I tell her about my dream? Well, it wasn't a dream it was a memory, a memory in dream form.

"… What if I told you I did something bad over there… before the bomb went off?" I asked her.

"What do you mean bad?" She asked. I looked to the side a bit and then to her again.

"… One of the privates didn't think I was there longer than them… we had been there for years… one of the soldiers told him about how I was in those camps… he thought it was a lie." I tell her and she stayed silent and I messed with my fingers.

"I grabbed a shovel and shoved it to him…. Then grabbed my service pistol and pointed it at him." I tell her.

"You did what?" She asked and I look to the side.

"I pointed my gun at him, I told him to dig… like we had to back at the camp… when the others spoke I pointed my gun at them, told them to shut up or they get shot… just like at the camp." I tell her.

"Jesus Violet." She says and I swallow a bit.

"I was angry… I was so damn angry, because it was stupid of him to think that way… to think he knows our stories, just like Gabe, telling his fathers stories as if he was there." I tell Clementine.

"I didn't shoot them, but I held it to his head as I made him dig… when I had a clear head I stopped and went back to work on the radio… then we heard about the bomb being dropped." I tell her. The room was silent and I felt like I had to leave, if I didn't leave, I would be told.

"Is that why you think it's Karma?" She asked.

"Yes… maybe I should stay blind it was God punishing me… maybe I didn't do a good enough job at saving those that were captured… my grandfather would be ashamed of me." I say quietly.

"Vi-."

"Maybe if I get the surgery… I'll go completely blind… God would finish the job… maybe I'm not allowed to see you smile again… maybe I'm not allowed to see our family." I tell her and I look to her.

"Don't think like that." She tells me.

"Why not? It has to be true." I tell her and I hear the chair slide on the floor and I feel her hug me.

"What kind of God would punish you for something he helped create?" She asked and I look to her.

"He created the man that caused the war, he created the people that wanted to hurt others, why punish those who try to do good? You never should have been sent back there, you went there to help people and he knew of what happened, why punish you?" She asked.

"Maybe I was supposed to die over there." I tell her.

"No, stop thinking like that, it isn't right." She tells me and I turn my head to look at her as best as I could.

"But-."

"But nothing… If God is punishing you for all that then he's not a good God, I wouldn't want to have a god that punishes people who tried to do good." She tells me and I look to the side a bit.

"I'm not telling you to throw away your faith, I would never do that to you, but what I am saying is, why would he make you go through so much and then punish you because of what he could have stopped." She explained and I grabbed her hand gently.

"I'm sorry I should have never said that, and you are right… I won't think of it as punishment but it will be hard." I tell her.

"That's ok, I'm sorry for overstepping." She tells me and I nod.

"You didn't overstep, you're fine." I tell her and she hugs me more. I hold her arm gently and take a breath. It wasn't long and I stand up and hugged her.

"I was a monster that day though… I just think it was punishment." I tell her and she nods.

"I understand… but you aren't a monster to me, I know you think I should but I know you just need help, many people need help… I really think you should talk to a professional." I hear her say.

"They've gotten expensive these days, it's because many of them are getting educated." I tell her and I feel her looking at me.

"That's not the point." She says and I smiled a bit.

"Talking with you helps me just enough, why waste money when I can get it for free from you." I joked and she doesn't laugh. I put my head by her neck and I kissed her there. She moves her hands around my neck and I kissed her more. I don't know what happened but we ended up in our room. We were laying in bed and I held her close to me as she slept. I rub my hand down her body gently and then pulled her close to me. She is a wonderful woman; how did I get lucky?

"I can hear you thinking." I hear and I nod a bit and kissed the back of her neck.

"How did I get so lucky?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?" She asks. I keep silent and just hold her to me.

"I'm just lucky." I tell her.

"Lucky." She says quietly and I nod and kissed her neck again and keep my head by her neck. A few weeks would pass us by and I was currently with Clementine as we were going food shopping. She said she needed some ingredients for dinner tonight and I did say I wanted to help.

"Oh, Lee is having a barbeque tomorrow, you'll get to meet his brother." She tells me as I held the basket.

"Oh yeah, I don't think I ever got to meet him, is he feeling any better though?" I asked.

"He has." She says and I feel her add something to the basket.

"What are you making tonight?" I asked as she grabbed my free hand and we walked down another isle.

"Your favorite." She tells me.

"Chicken cutlets?" I asked and I hear her laugh a bit. I suppose I sounded a little too excited.

"Yes, chicken cutlets." She tells me and I chuckled.

"Can I help?" I asked.

"Of course, you're helping now aren't you?" She asked.

"Well I mean can I help with the cooking?" I asked.

"Yes you can help with the cooking… and of course the taste testing." She tells me and I smile.

"You're the best." I say and she giggles.

"Guess the old saying is right." I hear her say and I look to her.

"What old saying?" I asked and I see her grab something.

"The way to a mans heart is with good food." She says and I tilt my head a bit.

"But I'm not a man." I say and she laughed.

"Oh right, forgive me… Papa Violet." She says and I smirk at her.

"Hey Mama Violet just sounds weird, Papa is better." I say and hold her hand.

"Hmmm maybe I should be called Papa Clem." She says and I chuckled as she giggled.

"Papa Clem… Papa Clem Bear, Clemyclue." I say and she laughed.

"What the heck is those names." She laughed and we walk to another area.

"Well, it's weird, grandparents don't always like to be called Grandma and Grandpa, my grandma called her grandmother Oma, and my grandfathers grandmother liked to be called Nanny." I explained.

"Oooh ok I get it, Carley said she called her grandmother Gigi." She tells me.

"Gigi?" I asked and she nods.

"Yep, Gigi." She says and I smiled. When we got back home, I helped Clementine with the food.

"Wash the chicken first." She tells me and I nod and do as told. She got the other stuff out and then got the woodstove going.

"The best thing about a wood stove is that during the winter season we can keep the house warm." She tells me and I nod.

"Yeah, I remember my grandma having one, she would put a pot of beans on the stove for grandpa too, it was funny, he would sneak bite and got me to do that as well." I laughed a bit at this.

"Oh, that sounds like a good memory." She says and I feel her next to me and I smiled.

"One time we made smores in the house when it was too cold out… it's one of the few good memories I have." I tell her and hand her the chicken so she could cut them up.

"The only memory I have with my parents is that we use to go to a trip to Savanna when we could, we went to this place called the Marsh house, they had great sweets there." I hear and smiled.

"Maybe we should go there." I tell her.

"Oh? Why?" She asked.

"It's easy to get there, and I'd like to have more good memories while I can still see." I tell her.

"Did your eye get worse?" She asked and I hear her run her hands through the water and shut it off when I finished the last of the chicken. I feel her place her hands on my face and she made me look at her.

"No, it's still the same… it's in case the surgery doesn't go well." I tell her and she sighs a bit and then pulls me into a hug. I hugged her back and smirk as I picked her up a bit and she yelps a little.

"Hahah put me down." She laughed and I smirk.

"Never, I'll never let you down." I say and she laughed more. she held her hands around my neck and I look up to her and smiled. She kisses me and I kissed her back. I slowly let her down and we pulled apart and I smile at her.

"Let's get started on dinner." She tells me and I nod. Since I couldn't work on the stove due to the risk of getting burnt from the oil, I got to bread the chicken pieces she had cut up. When I handed her the last of the chicken I go and wash my hands and then dried them off. I then come up behind her and hold her waist gently so I didn't startle her. I lean my chin on her head and I smiled.

"This is nice." She says and I nod in agreement.

"Very nice." I say quietly and I feel her move a hand on top of mine and I moved my head to her neck. When we finished dinner, we decided to relax in the living room, we never did get that Television, so we listened to the radio as the stories came on.

"You know, I didn't like these types of stories, but listening to them with you, makes it more fun." I tell her.

"Oh really? I think it's because we like to make jokes about them." She says and I laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, that is great and all but if you do it by yourself then it can be lonely." I stated and she nods. She way laying on my chest and I was rubbing her back gently as we kept listening to the stories util they were interrupted.

"In other news we are holding a celebration in the middle of the town to celebrate the end of the war." We hear and I hold Clementine closer to me.

"There will be plenty of people there, families of veterans, a special event where they will tell their stories, and at the end we will have our own governor to speak, so come join next week." We hear and the broadcast ended and there was some soft music that played.

"We aren't going." Clem says and I look to her. I feel her grip my shirt a bit.

"Come on would be fun if we got to see some old friends." I tell her.

"As fun as that would be I don't want to tell our stories." She says and I nod.

"Yeah, I didn't think about that…" I stopped and took a breath.

"Though knowing Louis, he found out somehow." I joked and we both laughed. The phone then began to ring and Clementine gets up and I see her move to the phone. I closed my eyes for a bit and sighed as I relaxed. This was a good day, a very good day.

"Welp seems you were right; Louis did find out." Clem tells me as she lays back on me.

"How'd he find out?" I asked.

"Turns out he's on a trip here with the music class, he's actually teaching music." She says and I laughed.

"He actually became a music teacher?... well, I don't think you ever heard him play the piano." I say now that I think about it.

"Nope, but he did say he was going to call up the others so they can come, I'm surprised it isn't something national." She tells me and I nod.

"Maybe the people on base wanted to set something up, I can't think of another explanation." I say as we just relaxed.

"Well anyway, seems we have to go." She says and I laughed at this and I feel Clementine move so I look to her and see her facing me.

"Wonder how they'll react to the fact we're married and didn't tell them?" She asked and I laugh.

"Oh lord save us from Louis wrath." I say and she laughed as well. We decided to head to bed early and I was dressed up in my night clothes and I head to bed. Clementine held onto me as we both ended up falling asleep.

We were walking in the field again. The night sky was clear and I look to see giant flames out in the west. We had to avoid no-mans land as much as we could but the route we were given we would have to pass through at some point. We could hear the gunshots but we had to stay quiet and hidden. The shots were getting louder and louder.

"Fuck, can't we just-."

"Shut it." I whisper harshly as I look around. I then see something in the tree and make a motion for us to drop down. We were covered by the high grass and I turn to the others as we grouped up a bit.

"Why are we down?" Kal asked and I point in the direction of the trees.

"Sniper in the trees, probably to take down any stragglers or escapees." I whisper to them.

"Can't you get them?" Jared asked and I take a breath and look to where I saw the flash of light.

"I need to find where they are sending a message, could have another sniper hidden somewhere else." I tell them and they nod. I told them to head to the side and to spread out so they wouldn't get shot. I moved a bit in the grass and I hide behind a rock. I look to the side a bit to see the flash again and I look to see if there was another signal. They were sending a message that they spotted someone to the east and I mutter a bit as I take aim with my rifle. I didn't say a prayer this time, I took the shot making the sniper hit the back of their head to the tree. I quickly move from my spot and looked to where the other person was but I couldn't find them.

"Where the fuck." I mutter quietly and then feel a gun to the back of my head.

"Vy, amerikantsy, takiye glupyye." (You Americans are so stupid). I hear and quickly turn aiming my rifle at them. I look to the man as he was glaring at me and we had our weapons aimed at each other.

"Kto skazal, chto ya amerikanets?" (Who said I was an American?). I asked back and they look to me and I take the shot. Blood splattered onto my face and I shake my head a bit as the body dropped onto me and I shove them off. I hurry and send a signal to Kal who relayed the message and we hurried to meet by the woods. When everyone was there, I looked to the side a bit.

"Russians are in the area." I tell them.

"Shit." The Private says and I look to him.

"No this means we're close." Jared says and I nod.

"They did say it was a Russian camp they were locked up in… only thing is, how many do they have?" I asked.

"Fourteen last I heard but even if they made more, they wouldn't have had enough time to make them properly, it'd be easy to tear down the walls." Someone suggests and I nod.

"Yeah, look we still have to head the original route that was given, we're close to the point where they were captured." Kal tells us and I nod. As they started to walk, I look back to the huge flames and more bombs going off. This was crazy, all for one guy? This isn't right.

I woke up slowly from this dream. I wouldn't say it was a nightmare or at least not enough to scare me. I turn my head to the side and saw Clementine next to me. I gently put my hand to her head and she moves a bit in her sleep. I moved my hand away from her head but then pace my hand back as I run my fingers through her hair again.

I know she says I need to talk to a professional when it comes to all this but what about her? She keeps so much bottled up; I was surprised she didn't want to go to the event. I would be the one to usually want to stay indoors, to not talk about the things we did. Granted even she doesn't like talking about all the things we did either, I doubt anyone would while we were there. it was horrible over there, so damn horrible. Who wants to talk about that with families nearby? Who wants children to hear how their own parents were blown up at, who the fuck wants kids to hear about all the blood and lives lost, as if it was some fucking game.

"Hmm, Violet." I hear and look to her a bit but she didn't move to face me and I hear her breathing. She was still sleeping. I moved a bit so I could get out of the bed without waking her up. I grabbed ahold of the nightstand and I walk out the room as best as I could. I walk out the house and feel around for my cigarettes and when I found them, I grabbed one and lit it. the ducks were with AJ right now, something about how a friend was coming over and he wanted to show them the ducks. I smile a little and chuckled at that. I'm glad he's doing good. I'm glad I got to meet Clem's family, and I'm glad they let me stay here with them.

I'm glad Clementine's family was so nice to me when we first met, it gave me this warm feeling, like how a family should be. I inhale the smoke and then blow it out as I hear the animals by the pond. I'm glad they aren't mad that I can't get a job, but once I get the surgery, I'll do everything I can to repay them. I had to do this too if I wanted to help with any kids we have. I touched the patch to my eye and I sighed as I moved my hand away.

"Oh Violet." I hear and looked to where the voice was.

"Lee?" I asked and I feel him take a seat next to me.

"Are you ok?" He asked and I nod.

"Yeah just… just thinking." I tell him.

"What about?" He asked and I think a bit.

"Well, you know how we told you about me getting that surgery?" I asked him.

"Right, you did tell us that… are you worried?" He asked. I think a bit at this and inhale the smoke again.

"A little yes but… it's more so with the fact that I don't have a job… and even if I do get the surgery, I could go blind for good… how can I repay you guys if I go completely blind?" I asked him.

"You don't have to… in all honesty you making Clem happy is payment enough." He says and I look down.

"I don't think it's enough though." I tell him.

"Ah you're the type to think that if you don't pay back in hard work or something of value it doesn't count right?" He asked.

"Sorta." I tell him.

"Well, you don't have to worry, you don't have to pay us back, you make Clem happy, and if she is happy, we are… plus you've helped a lot even if you don't know it." He says and I look to him a bit.

"Now I think you need to go to sleep, got a big day tomorrow." He says and pats my back a bit as I nod. I hear him leave and I finish my cigarette and head back into the house. Once in I go to the room and I lay back in the bed and I feel Clem shift a bit. she still didn't wake up and I hear some sniffling. I sit up a bit and hear Clem sniffle some more and she quickly turns in her sleep and gripped my shirt. I look down to her and I place my hand on her head as I hold her.

"Don't go." I hear her say and I look down.

"Don't go." She says again and I hold her to me. I rubbed the back of her head gently and tried to calm her down.