(Violet's Pov)
We were at the doctors for Clem's appointment and I was sitting next to her as the doctors talked about how this process doesn't always work. We knew this already from the last time we were here but they did have to remind us so we didn't get our hopes up. I was holding onto Clem's hand as they discussed with us about what to do if this did succeed and I started to feel a little worried. I hold Clem's hand a little tighter and she kisses my head and I look to her as she smiled and I smile back.
"Alright this is your fourth attempt, correct?" The doctor asked and we both nod at this.
"Yes." Clementine says. When we had last done this, they told us the process failed and Clementine had blamed herself but they had reminded her that she was healthy and it just doesn't always happen the first or even second time. The doctor even had to tell us that sometimes even when a man and woman try the natural way it doesn't always work either.
"Alright Clementine we just need to run some tests and see if it worked." The doctor says and she nods and leaves the room and I rub my hands on my pant legs.
"Worried for her, aren't you?" The doctor asked and I look to her and I nod at this.
"Yeah just… I know I shouldn't get my hopes up with this and neither should she but… yeah." I ranted a little and then rubbed the back of my neck.
"Oh, you two will be fine, you aren't the first gay couple I have helped." She tells me and I nod at this.
"So, uh… why do you help… gay couples?" I asked her.
"I believe anyone that wants a child should have a child, I help with men who have a segregate, I help women who want a little family of their own, and to be fair it's good that the donors can't come and take the kid away if they find out they have two moms." She tells me.
"People have tried?" I asked a little worried.
"Yes, but the fact is we have a policy where if they try to take the child away, they can't remain anonymous any more and they end up having to pay the family back for all the money they spent to have the child, medical bills, any baby supplies the couple may have purchased, and no one wants to give thousands of dollars because they want to be assholes." She tells me.
"Has to be a little more complex than that." I say and she nods.
"Yes, but that's the big topic that mostly comes up, oh and then they could end up in jail too for kidnapping, we made sure our lawyer strictly put that in the contracts they signed." She tells me and I nod.
"Have any wives come here mad that their husbands donated?" I asked.
"Oh plenty, saying it's a sin and all that, not realizing that many men are infertile as well… plus the moment the wives give out their husbands information by yelling it out, he can no longer be a donor and we ask for the money back and get rid of their samples." She says and I chuckled.
"That's a bit much." I say and she shrugged.
"It's just so that they don't try and go after anyone who has their husband's child this way, plus they get what they want and we get our money back which was probably used to buy her that nice dress." She says and I look to her.
"Have you had any women donate?" I asked and she looked to me.
"A few yes, why do you want to?" She asked and I shrugged.
"I mean I personally wouldn't want to carry a baby but I heard that you guys have found a way for it to help other women." I tell her and she turned in her chair to get a better look at me.
"You do know if you ever want a child of your own, we could ask your wife to carry the baby but use your eggs." She tells me and I turn a little red at that.
"I uh… maybe… um we can talk about that when she gets back." I say and she nods. It took a bit but Clementine came back and she takes a seat next to me as the doctor talks to her. The doctor then looked to me and I nod a bit.
"Clementine, I have a question for you." She says and Clem looked to her.
"Oh of course is there something wrong?" She asked.
"No, not at all just a simple question." She tells her and Clem nods at this.
"Ok what is it?" Clem asked and I held her hand a bit.
"Well, your partner was wondering if maybe one day she will be willing to donate her eggs for you to use." The doctor says to her and I clear my throat a bit.
"I mean you don't have t-."
"I would… if that's ok with you Vi." She says and I look to her as she looked to me and I nod at this.
"Alright, well whenever you want to do the procedure, we can set up an appointment, I would suggest waiting a bit if the results come back positive." The doc says and I nod at this.
"Fine by me." Clem says and I nod. We ask plenty of questions and the doctor said they will get the results in about a week or so. Clementine and I head back home and I was looking to the road a bit as I drove.
"I know they said not to get our hopes up but I can't help but be a little excited." Clementine says and I nod.
"I still have to get more baby stuff just in case." I say and Clementine just remembered she needed to head to the shop. I nod as I take a detour and we get to the shop and head inside.
"I can't believe I forgot to grab the delivery schedule." She says and I chuckled a bit.
"Well, it's a good thing today is Sunday." I tell her as I put my hands in my pockets.
"Thank your lord." She says and I laughed.
"Have you told your mother yet?" She asked as she came out of her office.
"About what?" I asked as we head back to the car.
"Well about you and I starting a family." She says as I opened her door for her.
"No, I honestly don't want to get her hopes up… but I will tell her once we know." I tell her and she nods as I close the door and I think as we drove.
"You think we should grab some extra food for thanksgiving? Louis and the others said that they would stop by after visiting Marlons family." I tell her.
"Shit… I didn't think about that." She says and nods as I take us to the grocery store. Once inside we walked around the store. This was such a nice day.
"In other news the whereabouts of the dictator Carver have people saying they have seen him going state to state in the United States. If this is true, please report it to the police immediately." I hear the radio say and I look over to it as I see people gathered around.
"Hey I'll be right back." I tell Clem and she nods as I head over to the group and listen in.
"He's here in the states?" I hear an older man say.
"Though he was last spotted in here people have also claimed to have seen him somewhere in Russia, and even Korea." The news says and I frown a bit.
"So are people just making this shit up?" I hear and shake my head a bit.
"They have too, there is no way one man can be spotted there and here." A man says.
"He could have been over there and people just didn't notice." I state.
"That's true." A man says and I look over to Clementine as she came over.
"Oh, hello Ma'am." The older man says and I look to him then to Clem as she nods to him.
"Seems Carver has been traveling… the best thing to do is to just shoot the fucker in the head." I mutter.
"Fuck I can agree to that." One man says.
"Fucker caused the war that killed my boy." Another man says.
"Made my daughter lose an arm over there, and all that mental shit." A man says and we look to the radio.
"We have a televised picture of what the man Carver looks like, and will be sharing it every hour the news is on, his face has been put in the papers as well, again if you see this man do not engage with him, call the police immediately they will also inform the military to take him into custody, the man may be armed and dangerous." The reporter says and I shake my head.
"Nah let that fucker try something I'll blast his brains out." I mutter and feel Clementine hold my hand a bit.
"Hell yeah, why let him have a trial? Anyone that thinks this man is innocent must be brain dead." The elder man says and I nod.
"Shit if anyone thinks that they should be hung with him, beat them like those pinatas." Another man says and I feel Clementine tug on my arm a bit. I look down to her and she motioned for me to come with her and I leave the group of men as we continue to shop. I look to her as she looked at the dairy section and I feel her hand tighten on my arm.
"Sorry just… hearing that last part." She says and I look to her sadly.
"Sorry, it's fine I get it." I tell her.
"But they are right I won't say they aren't, that man caused so much problems." She tells me and I kissed her cheek gently. We finished the shopping and we head back to the house. Lee and Carley came over and we made a plan on what we were going to do for thanksgiving.
"Oh, Grandma said that she was going to make the mac and cheese, and the pumpkin pie." Clementine says and I look to her.
"With homemade whipped cream?" I asked and she laughed.
"Of course." She says and I nod as I think.
"And you and I are in charge of making the turkey, the green bean casserole." She lists off all the other stuff we were going to make and I think a bit.
"Oh, Carley and I have the sweet potatoes too." Lee says.
"I know how to make peach cobbler." I say and Clementine looked to me.
"You want to make cobbler?" She asked and I nodded.
"Peach, Blackberry, Apple, Raspberry, all kinds, my grandmother had other recipes." I tell them.
"Alright cobbler is on the list, we just have to go to the store later to get whatever you need." Clementine says and I nod. We talked some more as we planned out the dinner we were to make in a week. I joked saying we should deep fry the turkey and Clem said that it was a no go, we had bought a stove for the outside for this reason since we weren't going to take the wood stove out.
"Alright, alright, my bad." I laughed and she kissed my cheek.
"So how was the appointment?" Carley asked.
"It was fine, we have a week before we know but I hope it worked." Clementine says and I nod at this.
"Do you want to see what we did with the room?" I asked Carley and I take her to the spare room and showed her.
"Aww, this is adorable." She says and I nod.
"Clementine said she wanted the room to be painted purple." I say as she goes over to the dresser.
"That was her fathers favorite color." She tells me and I look to her.
"Wait, her birth father?" I asked and she nods.
"Oh yes, Ed, his favorite color was purple." She tells me and I nod at this and looked to the room.
"Seems fitting." I say and she went over to the teddy bears.
"Oh, these are adorable." She says and I nod. Once done we went back to the kitchen and then Lee and Carley left and I talked with Clementine as I helped her make lunch.
"You think they'll find Carver?" She asked.
"I hope so, fucker caused a mass war, killing millions… honestly I think he deserves to be beaten, no mercy for instant death… honestly they should let ever soldier take a few whacks at him." I tell her.
"I agree with that." She says and I look to her.
"Are you ok?" I asked her and she nods.
"I know we want a family but I hope they never have to deal with what we had to… no wars but that's just wishful thinking." She tells me and I nod.
"Yeah, but all parents hope that for their kids' futures, though we know it might not happen it… it's a good thing to think maybe people would think before they cause a war like that again." I tell her and she nods.
"You know originally I wasn't supposed to be a sniper." She tells me and I look to her.
"Really?" I asked and she nods as she cleaned the lettuces a bit.
"Yeah… they wanted me to work in an office but I told them no, then they saw how good of a shot I was and they let me go in infantry." She tells me and I look to her.
"I wish you would have taken the office job if I have to be honest." I tell her as she looked up to me.
"Then we would have never met." She tells me and I nod.
"Yeah but… to see all that… at least you wouldn't have seen all that." I tell her and I look to the tomato a bit and I don't know why but I guess I was gripping it a bit too hard and it splatters a bit and I shake my head.
"Fuck." I mutter as I go and clean my hands and the mess I made.
"Are you ok?" She asked as she handed me a washcloth.
"Yes just… one of those moments." I tell her.
"Do you need to rest?" She asked and I shook my head.
"No just…" I stopped talking and looked to my hands to still see the tomato on them and I wash my hands but they ended up turning red like blood. I kept washing and washing but more blood kept pouring and I shake my head as I kept washing it off my hands.
"Fucking… god damn it." I say as I kept trying to wash the blood off but nothing was working. I feel some hands grab mine gently and shake my head. I had to wash the blood off but I couldn't it would wash away.
"To… to much blood." I say quietly.
"Hey it's ok." I hear and I shake my head a bit and feel a hand on my back as we moved away from the sink. The washcloth was covering my hands and I kept trying to dry the blood off.
"So much blood." I mutter as I kept trying to dry my hands and I look to see that the rag was completely covered and I shake my head.
"It's ok, you aren't back there." I hear and I shake my head as I looked around and saw I was back in the shack. I felt cold, I was freezing and I could hear yelling outside. I hear a few gunshots and I pulled my legs to my chest.
"Yelling… gunshots and yelling." I mutter to myself as I tried to keep warm.
"Violet." I hear and I moved my hands and covered my ears. I could feel the blood touching my head and I shake it. I can hear the screams and the gunfire and I shut my eyes tightly. I feel someone touch me and I shake them off. I didn't want to be touched I wanted this to stop. I wanted it all to just stop.
"Violet talk to me." I hear and I shake my head. No, no I can't, I can't talk there was no talking allowed. I feel a hand on my head and it was gentle. It was so gentle. I feel my head move and placed on a chest where I hear a heartbeat. It has to be Clementine; it has to be. Only she knows to do this. It has to be her.
"C-Clem?" I whispered.
"I'm here, you're home, you're ok." I hear her say. It was so quiet though. I then feel her move my hand and place her own hand on my ear. Why is it when she does this, I feel better? Why does this make me feel safe?
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I… I haven't… so long." I tried to say to her.
"It's ok, you were doing ok, and you still are ok." She tells me and I nod a bit. My eyes were still shut.
"Everything is fine." She tells me and I nod as I tried to calm down. I don't know how long we were like this but I finally opened my eyes and I noticed my glasses were off and I feel Clementine rubbing the back of my head and I gripped her dress a bit.
"It's ok." She whispered and I nod a little at this. When I felt better, I noticed it was pass lunch time and I sighed at this. I get up and grabbed my glasses and looked to Clementine as she looked to me.
"Feeling better?" She asked and I nod a little at this.
"Yeah… I'm sorry I ruined lunch." I tell her.
"You didn't, it's ok." She tells me and I shake my head a little and I lean a bit forward as I sat on the couch. I feel tears in my eyes.
"Hey, hey it's ok." She tells me and I feel her hands on my face and I look to her.
"It's ok." She says again and I nod a bit at this. She hugged me gently and I keep my head by her neck and she rubbed my back gently. It had been so long since I had a panic attack, so it hurt when I didn't talk to her. I made her worry and I felt bad for it. She would always tell me it was ok, and I know that, it happens but the fact that I was doing so well, and then this happens.
"I'll finish the sandwiches, just sit right here ok." She says and I nod as she moved away from me gently and I take a deep breath. I look to the side a bit as I watched her.
"Next doctor appointment is in a week." I say to her.
"Yes, it is." She tells me and I nod.
"If this time doesn't work… would you want to try…" I trail off as I think.
"If you want to try it with your eggs then that's fine, I told you I was ok with it." She says and I sighed.
"But… I don't even know if I'm healthy for it." I tell her. She comes over with a plate and she sets it on the coffee table and I look at her.
"Vi, all we can do is try, plus technically if it does work with your sample, you can actually tell people I'm having your child." She says and I chuckled a bit at this.
"You have an appointment with your doctor in a few days." She tells me and I nod.
"Can you sit in for this session?" I asked.
"Are you sure?" She asked and I nod at this.
"I'm ok with it, I think I might need you there." I tell her and she holds me and I lay on her lap. A few days passed by quicker than I would have liked but it happens. I was walking with Clementine as we head into the therapist's office and we get in.
"Well, hello, I see Clementine is joining us today." The therapist says and I nod as I take a seat on the couch with Clementine.
"Yes, I think it's best if she does." I tell her and she nods.
"Alright as long as you are ok with this." She says and I nod as she grabbed her paper and pen.
"So, we were on the subject of you and your role as a provider, would you like for me to call you Vinny or Violet during this session?" She says and I nod.
"Vinny is fine." I tell her.
"Alright, I must ask Clementine, how do you feel about Vinny taking this role." She says as she looked to my wife.
"If it makes them happy, I'm ok with it, I didn't marry him based on his gender." She tells the therapist and she writes this down.
"That's good, it's good that he has this support." She tells Clementine and I hold her hand.
"We were… actually trying to get help to have a baby together." I tell the therapist and she looked to us.
"Oh, and how is that going?" She asked.
"A little… complex, we tried three times already we go to the doctors this Sunday to see if it worked this time." I explained to her.
"Oh, and how do you feel about this? Taking the next step in your life?" She asked.
"I'm excited, they told us not to get our hopes up but I can't help it sometimes." I tell her truthfully.
"Are you excited to start a family?" She asked and I nod.
"They even said I could donate my eggs for Clem to use… she made a joke saying I could actually say she's having my kid." I tell her.
"And how did that make you feel?" She asked me.
"I felt… I don't know, happy at that thought, made me feel… good." I tell her.
"Do you think it must be about how you think of yourself as a father figure?" She asked and I nod a little.
"A little yes." I tell her.
"So when you're out in the public do you go by Vinny?" She asked and I nod.
"Yes, I do, and I like it when Clem calls me her husband… a few months back one of her classmates came by the bakery and I just felt good when they called me her husband." I tell her.
"Well it's good that you feel that way, just remember there is nothing wrong with that." She tells me and I nod. We talked for a good while and I did mention that I had a panic attack just a few days ago.
"I remember you talking about when you have those, you said you feel better if Clementine is holding you?" She asked and I nod.
"She's very gentle with me, she doesn't just rush like many people do, and she places my head to her chest so I can hear her heart beat… I copy her breathing, or try to sometimes… and she puts her one hand to my ear and says some kind words to me… sometimes a feel that she shouldn't be to kind to me though." I admitted to them.
"Why is that?" She asked as she wrote on her paper. I twiddle my thumbs a bit and I take a breath.
"I think… it's because I don't think I should get help from her; she has her own issues and… when she had a panic attack last month, I didn't know what to do." I explained.
"Did you try to help?" She asked. I kept quiet on this and I take a breath.
"She froze up, but it's fine." Clementine says and I shake my head.
"But it's not fine… how is it that you help me but I can't help you?" I asked Clementine and she looked to me as I looked at her.
"It wasn't as bad as yours." She tells me.
"That's not the point… I should be able to help you, what kind of partner am I if I can't help you?" I asked her getting a little agitated.
"Vinny it's fine." She says and I get up from the couch.
"NO, IT'S NOT!" I yelled and placed my hands on my head.
"It's not fine, if I can't help my wife when she needs it… what if something goes wrong while your pregnant? What if I freeze up when you really need me? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something terrible happened and I could stop it." I tell her.
"Hey, hey calm down." The therapist says and I shake my head as I take a breath.
"How can you say something like that would be fine? I should be able to help you, that's my job as your partner Clementine." I tell her as she looked up to me from her seat.
"Because I have others who would help, I know you feel like you have to do a lot but it's fine, I'll be fine, so you don't have to worry." She tells me and I feel a little bad and take a seat.
"I'm sorry for yelling." I tell her and I feel her place her hand on my back.
"It's ok." She tells me and I take another breath.
"It seems our time is up, I suggest you talk these things out more with Clementine, if you're worried you might mess up explain as to why you think that way to her, but don't get angry when she tells you what she thinks." The therapist says to us and I nod at this. We end up leaving the office and I feel Clementine grab my arm gently and I look at her. When we got outside, we head to the grocery store so we can pick up a few things for thanksgiving and I was holding the basket as Clementine was looking at some berries.
"I…" I stopped and she looked to me. Those soft Hazel eyes looking at me. I felt so terrible yelling at her, I didn't mean to but I was upset with myself. I truly did worry if I was a good partner for her. She could have a normal life with a man, she could have children easier, instead we're paying hundreds if not close to thousands of dollars just to be told it didn't work. I felt like I would freeze up or even freak out if something happened to Clem or the baby, and then what? Would her family be mad at me because I didn't react? That I was a monster?
"I can hear the gears turning in your head dear." She says as she places some of the berries in the basket and I look at her as she looked to me.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you, it was wrong of me to do that and I'll try not to do it again." I tell her.
"Vinny it's fine, you got overwhelmed this stuff happens." She tells me and I nod at this.
"But still." I say as we go down an aisle.
"It's ok." She says and kisses me on the cheek.
"What if I'm away and something happens?" I asked her.
"I have my parents with me, and I can call the emergency line if I have too… I'm not helpless you know." She says.
"I… I wasn't saying that." I tell her as she grabbed a few cans of greens and places them in the basket.
"I know, but I know you worry to much… it's ok to not take the role of a provider or protector, I know you feel like you have to but I'm a big girl I can handle myself." She says and I nod at this. She grabbed a few more items and I just look to her.
"I'm sorry I'm messed up." I tell her and she looked to me.
"You aren't messed up." She tells me and I just look at her. I shake my head as we head to the front and I hear the radio again.
"The carver issue is that people still believe in what he is saying, this is bullshit, you are going to tell us that you want a fucking dictator? Hello look at what he's done, millions are dead because of him, our people hell maybe your damn kids are dead because of him." The man says on the radio and I feel Clementine grab my shirt and I look to her. She motioned for us to head out and I nod as we get to the car and drive on home.
We go and put the groceries up in the proper places and I think a bit as I look to Clementine. She was putting a few cans up in the cabinet and I look to the window and saw it was nice out. I then head to the paper and looked at what the weather is supposed to be like and it said it was going to be nice all day and night.
"We should go on a date." I say and look to her as she looked to me after closing the cabinet.
"Oh? Where to?" She asked as she comes over to me and I look to the entertainment that was playing at the drive in.
"We can go to the drive in, there is a few movies showing." I tell her and she looked to the paper a bit.
"Sure, if you're ok with that." She says and I nod.
"I got the popcorn and drinks." I tell her.
"Uh no, it's my turn to pay for that." She says and we laughed at this and she grabbed my hands.
"Come on, no shame in letting me pay, you've been paying for a lot of things." She tells me and I look to her. I knew she was talking about the appointments, both my therapist and her doctor visits. I don't mind it though.
"Alright, alright, you can get the drinks and popcorn." I say and she nods and kisses my cheek.
"Good." She says and I smiled. When night came, we went to the movies and she and I went to the concession stand and got the drinks and popcorn. It was nice to go to the movies and not have to see the propaganda playing before the movie would start. Clementine was leaning her head on my shoulder as I looked to the screen a bit. I grabbed her free hand gently and rubbed my thumb to the back of her hand. I was a little disappointed that it was a movie involving the war though but I couldn't say anything.
"Hey we don't have to stay." She says and I look to her.
"Do you want to leave?" I asked her.
"It's up to you… I don't want you to get angry if the movie is… I don't know." She says and I shrugged.
"It's all fake, I doubt I would have an episode, and if I do, we just leave." I stated and she nods a bit. We watched the movie a bit and I feel her grab my hand gently.
"Stupid, they only have men being snipers." Clem mutters and I laughed.
"You'd think they'd do their research." I laughed as does she.
"Maybe they did and they only asked the men, bah." She says and I laugh again.
"Clementine, the most feared sniper in the army, they should have talked to you." I say and she shakes her head.
"Nah they would change up my story anyway, which is stupid." She says and I kissed her head. We kept watching the movie and there was a lot of inaccuracy.
"Holy shit, did they try and make this for kids? No one was jumping for joy at those camps they were way to fucking sick." I mutter and shake my head.
"I mean the only ones that were healthy Ish were the little kids." She says and I sighed.
"Stupid Hollywood, oh let's just change the story cause we don't want to hurt others, who are they hurting? The bad guys? Boohoo they were terrible people." I say and Clementine rubbed the back of my hand gently. There was a point where it had the soldiers in one of the death camps and I almost spit my drink out as there was an exact version of what happened to us when we were captured.
"Who the fuck." We both say and I was just frozen. That day was just hell for us and I look to see them placing the gun to the back of the soldier's head and I get up as they take the shot.
"THAT... THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!" I yelled and I feel Clem grab me as I tried to calm down.
"Hey, hey we should go." She says and I was pissed off. But I nod at this and I rubbed my head a bit. I was getting a headache with this bullshit.
"Sorry, sorry just… fucking hell I'm sorry." I say and I look to Clem as she started up the car.
"It's ok, I… I don't feel good about that either." She says and I see her clenching the wheel. I look to the road a bit and then moved over to her gently as I tell her to pull over. She does as told and then she hit the wheel and cursed.
"Hey, it's… it's ok, they just wanted dramatics." I tried to say.
"How the hell did they know about that though? Louis and the others wouldn't talk about that day, David is fucking dead and so is Luke, so how the fuck did they know that shit?" She asked and I shrugged.
"Let me take the wheel." I say and she nods as we switched seats and I look to her.
"It's fine… just… dramatics." I mutter and she nods as I begin to drive.
"Fuckers, whoever told that shit… fucking bullshit." She says and I hold my hand out to her. She takes it and then squeezes it a bit. I moved her hand to my lips and kissed it.
"You think they brought up the bomb?" I asked a little worried.
"I swear if they did." She says and I look to her.
"Hey don't get angry, don't stress, it's… it's fine." I tell her.
"Like hell it is." She says and I look to her a little worried.
"Please don't stress, I can ask people on base… see if anyone told anything." I tell her.
"That's not the point, that person was in the same situation as you and then they kill them?" She asked and I look to her.
"It was a horrible day, for fuck's sake." She says and I look to the road.
"I get it." I tell her.
"Do you?" She asked and I nod.
"Yeah… I know we brought it up before, I know you were so scared that day, and to be honest I did give up at that point… but maybe they put it as another person, maybe they experienced the same thing." I tried to explain.
"The same exact thing? Not possible." She says and I sighed a bit and look to the road more.
"I'll see who blabbed." I tell her and she tightened her grip on my hand. We stayed quiet for a while and even after we had gotten home, we didn't say anything. When the day for her appointment came, we just walked in and did all the basic procedures all over again. They went to see if it had worked this time.
"I'm sorry but it didn't work." The doctor says and I looked to Clementine as she looked down. I held her to me and I kissed her head gently. We had decided to take a break with this and just do something else while we wait. When we left the hospital Clementine just got in the car and I look to her sadly as I lean in through the window a bit.
"Clem." I say quietly and I could see the tears in her eyes. I opened the door and hugged her as she cried.
"I fucked up." She says.
"No, no you did great, it just happens." I whispered to her.
"Four times though? Four fucking times?" She asked and I pulled her to me as she gripped my shirt.
"We should take a break with all this, maybe try again in a year?" I offered.
"There's no point anymore." She says and I look to her.
"Clem-."
"Just… can we not talk about this anymore." She says and I nod just a little. I moved so I could get in the driver's seat and I look to her before I put the key in. I don't start up the car and I rubbed the back of my neck a bit. I then get an idea and start driving us home. When we got there, she just heads inside and I hurry over to Lee's.
"Hey what's going on?" Lee asked as I come through the door.
"Keep an eye on Clem, I'm going to be right back, she's a little… upset." I tell him and he nods in understanding. I had run back to the car and quickly drove off and headed to the store. I look around at the many options of ice-creams they hand and I find Clementines favorite, Rocky Road. I then get some other candies she like, some of the women that came to her shop and said that chocolate helps, but not a lot. I didn't give a damn though. As I paid for the treats, I thought of what I could do to cheer her up. We could sit on the couch and watch a movie together, and I could cook dinner as well. When I got back home, I go into the house to see Carley and Lee comforting her and once they see me, they tell her they will come by later.
Clementine looks at me and I go put the ice-cream in the freezer box we had just gotten. I then grabbed the candies from the bag and set them on the coffee table. I then go to our room and grabbed the fluffiest blanket we had and the most comfortable pillows we had as well. I come back in and set the pillows on the couch and I look to Clem as she gave me a weird look. I didn't care as I got everything set up for her and then I look at her.
"Radio or Television?" I asked and she just looked at me.
"Alright television it is." I say and go to turn it on and then sat next to her on the couch and wrapped the blanket around her. I then lay a bit on the couch and helped her lay on top of me as one of her shows was playing.
"Why are we doing this?" She asked.
"Some of the women say depression can happen in situations like this, so I'm just trying to keep you from being sad." I tell her. I then feel her gripping my shirt gently and I wrapped my arms around her gently as I feel the tears hitting my shirt.
"It's ok, let it out." I tell her and she just cries. I rubbed her back gently and let her cry it out. I would whisper to her and she would calm down a bit but I know this was hard on her. It was really hard on her. I kissed her head gently as she stopped crying and I look to see she had fallen asleep. I just kept rubbing her back gently as I look to her and then to the ceiling.