(Violet's Pov)
I was looking at the television as they were showing more war propaganda and the girls were seated next to me and Clem was on the other side as well. We just look as they were showing the tanks on the screen and people from the last war as well. I feel Clementine grip my hand as they showed the camps as well and I grip her hand back and look down to her as she looked to the screen. I look back and saw some more films on the screen.
"This is bad." Clem says and I nod. It's been five years since Mitch told us about all this, and it's been a good almost ten years since the last war. I feel my foot tapping on the ground to much and I try to stop it but I just couldn't.
"Papa?" I hear and look down to the twins as they looked to me.
"Are you ok?" Diana asked and I nod.
"Yeah just… yes I'm fine." I tell them and look back to the screen.
"We all thought almost ten years ago that the last war would be the end of all wars, sadly it doesn't seem that way, though this is not of Carvers doing this is the work of two new groups known ad Delta and Frontier, or New Frontier as they like to be called… many men and women have died and suffered in the last war, a bomb was dropped by the Americans killing many… the draft is back up and many men and women will be called into service many already have." Carley reported and I get up and turned the television off.
"Bed time you two, you have school." I say and they hurry to their room and I look to them then to Clementine.
"Vi." She says and I look to her.
"Sorry just… they shouldn't have seen that." I say as I take a seat.
"I know it just… came on." She says and I nod and shake my head.
"They were going to see this sooner or later… damn schools are probably telling kids their parents might be sent off." I mutter and take a seat and lean my head back a bit. I shake my head and sit up and looked to the television a bit and rubbed my face.
"You know they can't send you or me back." She says and I look to her a bit. I tap my foot a bit and then hold my arm.
"Right?" She asked and I stopped my foot tapping. I take a breath and I get up and head over to the table. I grabbed a letter and then went back over to Clem and handed it to her as I took a seat on the couch. She looked to the letter then back to me and then back to the letter as she reads it. I looked to her a bit and she gripped the paper a bit.
"How? You were disch-."
"They helped with the surgery… they know I'm better-."
"You aren't…. I mean… you still have nightmares for god's sake, you… they can't send you back." She says and I shrugged.
"Maybe they won't I just have to go there and they'll see I can't go in." I tell her and she nods.
"They better." She mutters and I kissed her head.
"And if they don't?" I asked her quietly as I kept my face on her head. I feel her grip my leg and I take a breath and close my eyes.
"Clem?" I asked her quietly.
"I… I don't know." She says quietly and I nod. I kissed her head again and sighed as I she grabbed my hand a bit and I grip her hand back.
"Plus, I think they know they have to get some of the old soldiers back together not many new ones to send out." I mutter and she nods a bit.
"Let's just hope they can't send you back." She says and I nod and we head to bed for the night. It was morning when we were woken up by the twins and we get them ready and we take them to school. I knew it was going to be a long day. Clementine then drives us to the Bakery and she went inside and I walked over to the Army recruitment center to see what was going on.
"You say you can't serve?" The recruiter asked and I look to him.
"I was discharged due to blindness from the bomb that was dropped ten years ago." I tell him.
"And yet you were able to come here." He says and I look to him a bit.
"You telling me you can't see right in front of you?" He asked and I look at him.
"I can see-."
"THEN YOU CAN SERVE!" He yelled and I glare at him. He looked younger than me like he was just fresh out of college.
"Now do we have a problem?" He asked and I keep glaring at him.
"And what would my job be exactly?" I asked him as he just sat in his chair. Acting as if he was god himself for yelling at me.
"What the hell was your job in the last war?" He asked.
"… Translator, Sniper, Recon, Medic, you name it." I tell him and he looked to me.
"I also worked on the bomb here." I tell him and he just looked to me and laughed.
"Bitch like you did that? Bet you been listening to all the men's war stories as a nurse." He says and I glared at him. He looked to my papers a bit and then stopped.
"I think they should put you on kitchen duty." He says and the door opens and the recruiter quickly sits up. I turn to see my old Lieutenant.
"Aldon?" He asked.
"Everette now sir." I tell him.
"Well shit what are you doing here?" He asked as he came up and shook my hand and I shake his hand back.
"Seems they want to draft me for this new war." I tell him and he looked to the recruiter a bit.
"Boy get up, this is Sargent Major Aldon." He says and the boy does stand up.
"Fucking nurse probably blew you." I hear the boy mutter and I look to the Lieutenant as he glared at the boy.
"Boy thinks he's tough shit cause he can shoot, but I bet you can still beat him." He tells me as he pats my back.
"Yeah, that'll give him more reason to tell me I need to go back." I tell the Lieutenant. He looked to the recruiter and then to me.
"Pardon?" He asked and I handed him the papers and he read it.
"Drafted?... makes no sense… come with me." He says and I followed him as we head into an office and he closed the door and I look to him.
"This is a mistake." He says and I look to him a bit then to the side.
"I… actually want to come back." I tell him and he looked to me.
"Excuse me?" He asked and I look to him.
"I'd like to go back." I tell him.
"But you-."
"I know I was discharged… I know I was blinded by the bomb I know but… I'd like to go back." I tell him.
"What about your wife?" He asked quietly and I look to him a bit.
"I… I know she isn't going to like it, but… I don't know." I tell him honestly and I take a seat.
"You shouldn't have even been drafted." He tells me and I nod and twittled my thumbs a bit.
"I just… want to keep them safe." I tell him.
"By potentially dying overseas?" He asked.
"Haven't died yet." I tell him and he looked to me.
"Aldon… I mean… Everette… your wife is… how do I put it." He says.
"Scary?" I asked and he nods. I couldn't help but chuckled.
"You should have seen her when she was pregnant." I tell him and he looked to me.
"You and her have a kid?" He asked.
"Two… twins." I tell him.
"Oh, then I can't let you-."
"It's boring… I hate my job I have now and the fact that I was given this change… I just…" I stopped and look to the side a bit. I then looked to the lieutenant and he looked to me.
"I want to keep my family safe, I can still shoot, take me to the range and I'll prove it, I'm still able to do my job… I know my wife just worries I get it but… fuck we still haven't gotten Carver; I'd at least want to get these bastards." I tell him.
"I… You can't be serious." He says.
"I am… and I know what to do already… I know I sounded like I didn't want to go back when I came here, my wife just… she doesn't need to know, I mean drafted means I have to go." I tell him.
"You went blind, you've served already, you don't and you shouldn't be in this war." He tells me.
"We just keep this between us, you won't get in any trouble for this, the Army doesn't care as long as they have bodies, I am still able to fight." I tell him. He looked to me as I looked back to him and we were silent for a bit and he sighed.
"I will have a discussion about you and if you can, they're going to run some tests with you too, if you fail then you can't join… deal?" He asked and I nod.
"Deal." I tell him and he nods and gets up.
"Come back here tomorrow in PT's and your camo, we'll head to the range and do physical training too." He says and I nod as I get up and we shake hands. I then grabbed my letter and walked out the building and I take a breath. I head back to the bakery and helped Clementine out as much as I could.
"So did they realize you can't go back?" She asked as we worked in the back. I look over to her and shrugged.
"They still think I can go back." I tell her and she shakes her head.
"Can they not see that-."
"I asked to go back." I tell her and she whipped her head so fast I thought it would snap her neck. She just kept looking at me and I clear my throat.
"What?" She asked and I look to her then to the side a bit.
"Do not look away." She says and I look back to her.
"I said… I asked to go back." I tell her.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked and I just looked to her.
"Clem-."
"Do you not understand that you have already done your job, it's been ten god damn years since all of this, Jesus fuck Violet." She says and watch her as she grabbed her head a bit.
"… There might be a change that I can't go… they just need to see if I'm still able to work… if not… I don't go back." I tell her.
"You know damn well; you aren't going to fail." She tells me and I look at her.
"It's not a bad thing Clem-."
"Why the hell would you want to go anyway? You have a great job; you have friends and a god damn family now… what do I tell the twins if they make you leave?" She asked.
"I DON'T KNOW OK!" I yelled and she looked at me.
"God damn it Clem I hate my fucking job, it's the same thing day in and day out, I have to constantly hear about numbers and graphs for fuck's sake I messed up one time and I get chewed out by some new guy who just started and he thinks he's all that because his dad works in the company too… ever since they replaced the old boss my life has been hell there, and I fucking hate it." I tell her.
"You could have quit; you could work here." She tells me.
"I don't want to work here, I… Clementine I just want to feel something." I tell her.
"IF YOUR LIFE IS THAT DAMN BORING THEN GO!" She yelled and I look at her.
"I-."
"NO!... You are willing to just go back to that hell hole then fucking go, but when you get back don't expect to be welcomed back." She tells me and I look to her. I feel my chest tightening at that and I look down.
"Fine." I say as I take the apron off and I head out before she could stop me. I spent my last week in a hotel and the next thing I know I'm back on the transportation flight to Europe. I looked to the rifle in my hand and I gripped it tightly and rubbed my face a bit.
"So heard you're supposed to be the best sniper we got." I hear and look to the guy as he took a seat next to me. I kept silent and the plane rocked a bit and I grip my weapon tighter.
"Hey once we land, we head straight to Lima company." I hear and look up a bit.
"What are ya? Mute or something?" The guy asked and I look to him and shake my head.
"Scared?" I hear another soldier ask and I shake my head.
"Then why ain't ya talking?" He asked and I shrugged.
"Bet their partner just left them hah." One woman laughed and I just keep quiet. We finally land on the makeshift airfield and we went to work. They had us head out east to check on the damage out there, and to see if we could get any survivors. I just kept my mouth shut unless needed.
"Hey sarge why the fuck are you so quiet?" I hear and look up from my MRE and then look to the flames a bit and then ate my food.
"They send us out with the quietest person in America… shit for brains." I hear one man mutter and I look to him and then set my tin to the side and grabbed my rifle.
"Oh, is the scar face getting mad?" They laughed and I aim my rifle at them.
"HEY WOAH!"
"Shut up." I tell them and they look to me.
"Making jokes about me being quiet is fine, but don't joke about my scars." I tell them and moved my rifle.
"How'd you get them anyway?" A kid asked and I looked to him a bit and set my rifle on my lap.
"I mean, with the way they look you should be blind." He says and I nod.
"I was… for a while… had surgery cause my eyes weren't that badly damaged." I tell them.
"Yeah but how did you get them?" A woman asked and I look to all of them and then clear my throat a bit.
"The uh… bomb… in the last one… that's all." I mutter and I get up and grabbed my rifle as I go over to the side and away from them. I took my position by the tall grass area and kept watch on the fields. We were told that there was some enemy hiding out here and we were covered pretty good. I hear someone next to me and I look to see the girl as she took a seat next to me.
"Sorry we were all just joking around." She says and I look to her.
"Hmm, sure." I say and looked to my rifle.
"What has you down?" She asked.
"Nothing." I say and looked back to the field to see if I can spot anything.
"So you were in the last war?" She asked and I nodded.
"Hope this one isn't like the last one… to much blood and death… lost a good friend too." I say and just kept my eyes to the field.
"My dad told me about what it was out here… he was upset when they had put me in the draft." She says and I look to her.
"I'd be upset too… try to get my kids to not witness this." I say quietly. I could hear the fire crackling a bit and I take a breath.
"You have kids?" She asked and I nod and I think as I open the uniform pocket and grabbed a small wallet sized photo of the twins. I hand it to her and she looked to them.
"How old are they?" She asked as she looked to the photo.
"Six, they're twins so." I kept quiet.
"And their dad?" She asked and I look to her a bit and then point to myself.
"You?" She asked and I nod a bit.
"I didn't carry them but uh… it's a joke that they call me Papa." I say and she handed the photo back to me. I put it back in my chest pocket and then looked to the ground a bit.
"Why are you even here?" She asked and I shrugged.
"Don't know, I… I told my wife my life was boring back home… and." I stopped talking as I think back to what happened when I got back home. I just needed to cool off that day but we argued and argued. The girls had heard us and they went running to Clem's parents home and I felt like shit that night. I felt like shit that night.
"I don't think I'm allowed back home after this… even if I come back in a casket… they'll just bury me in Texas." I mutter and rubbed my head a bit.
"Does your wife hate you?" She asked and I look to the girl.
"… She was in the last war with me… she's been with me since she joined our group… We got taken as captives in a camp and I almost died there… she's… helped me a lot with my problems." I say quietly and gripped my rifle a bit.
"Why isn't she here? Or is she with a different platoon?" She asked.
"She lost her leg back home… she couldn't come back anyway." I say and I look to the field a bit.
"Oh…" The girl stopped and I nod a little. It was a few weeks before we found any enemy. We were able to take them captive and send them off to another group for interrogation. I was at a tent looking at a blank paper and a pencil in my hand. I didn't know what to write. Should I even write to Clem? No she'd throw the letter away before she even read it. But it wouldn't hurt.
'Dear Clementine,
I know you must hate me so much right now; I understand why you're mad, I always knew why but I just couldn't shake the feeling off. You and I both know that when I was sent back after being a POW I would always go back if it meant helping others, if it meant to keep our kids safe. I know you're angry at me and you have every right to be. So that's why if I'm to die out here, it's ok, it's sad to hope they don't find my body here, but if they do, I made sure my body would be sent to Texas.
The girls will not be allowed to visit my grave either, I know you probably wouldn't want them to and I wouldn't want them too anyway.'
I stopped writing as I looked to the paper a bit and sighed as I continued to write the letter. I felt my hands shaking a bit and my chest tighten at what I was about to write to her. God I hope she doesn't read this to the girls if she even forgave me.
'If there is any way you can get them to forget I even existed that would do wonders… I didn't abandon you or the girls, I just want to do right in this world, I know time and time again you said I have but I still feel like I didn't. I hated my job because it kept me away from you and the kids, but the bakery wasn't my dream it's your dream, and I didn't… I don't know why but I felt like I would be messing up your dreams.
I just want you to know, you don't have to worry about anything, don't need to worry about me, don't need to worry about if I come home in a casket, and if I do come back alive, you don't need to worry, I'll be back in Texas, I won't be coming back to Georgia, and just like any of the letters you wrote home I don't expect or would like a letter back in case something does end up happening.'
From,
Violet Aldon.'
I finished the letter and went over to one of the tents. They said they'd deliver it and I nod as I head on out the tent and looked to the sky a bit. the sun was high up and I could see many of the soldiers as they were helping the wounded or people just talking, doing whatever they could do. My group ends up getting orders to head out and so we did. We ended up in a town with many buildings destroyed from tanks and bombs. I go up to the highest building and we stayed here till we could get some relief. Many people that came by were displaced civilians, some enemy but none were our own.
"HEY EVERETTE!" I hear and look down to see the others were eating and I just stayed in my position as I looked to the side a bit.
"HEY WE'RE FINE COME ON DOWN!" One of the guys yelled and I looked to my feet a bit and just grabbed the mirror and flashed them a message that I'm fine where I'm at, and that I just wanted to be alone right now. I looked back to the open area and kept a look out for anything. Then I see a few tanks and I get down a bit. I flash a message to them and I look as they hurry and take position. I get my rifle ready as I hear some enemy soldiers talking and I take my aim.
There was no point in saying a prayer anymore as I see the tanks barrel taking aim at something and I see it's my position. I move low to the ground and get to the stairs before the tank fired and blasted me to the wall a bit. rubble fell on me along with dust and gravel. I open my eyes real quick as I hear another blast and I hurry on down to the ground floor. I see an enemy looking at me and they take aim and I hurry and tackle them to the ground. they had to move their gun away to try and stop me but it wasn't helpful for them as I get them to the ground.
"Mother fucker." I say as I punched them multiple times in the face. They had a broken nose and were bloody from the punches. I look to the side as I get up and grabbed their own pistol and pointed it at their face. They had their hands raised up and I shoot them then head on out the building. I run over to the others as they took cover and I see the tanks.
"Ya'll know what sticky bombs are?" I asked.
"The fuck?" One of them yelled and they kept taking shots as did the enemy. I grabbed my rifle and took aim and shot some here and there.
"We need to disable that fucking tank, we need sticky bombs." I mutter and I get to work on making a few. Some bullets whizzed on past my head and I had to take cover. I hurry over to the side and looked for the tank and I looked to one of the men and handed him a sticky bomb then to the girl and hand her one.
"You two go to the right left side, you'll have more cover, I'll go right place these on the tanks tracks and light them, do not hesitate." I tell them and they nod and they hurry to their spots. I take a breath as I run past the back side of the enemies and I place the bombs on the tank and light it. I was only able to take a few steps back before it went off blasting the tracks. I hurry on up and grabbed my side arm placing it in the small opening of the tank and shot inside quickly.
"EVERETTE!" I hear and quickly turn to get shot at. I fell backwards and grabbed at anything as I tried to find my pistol only to get kicked in the face. I hear some sun shots and a body land on me and I shove it to the side.
"Shit we got to go." I hear as I was being dragged to the side and the woman checked me.
"I'm fine, I'm fine-."
"YOU HAVE A BULLET IN THE CHEST SHUT UP!" She yelled and I look to her and then down to my chest as I saw blood. There was a lot of blood I just froze, I didn't panic, why wasn't I panicking?
"Hey, hey you're going to be fine." I hear and look to the girl and then to where my wound was. I notice her as she looked to my other scars and I look back to her.
"I don't… I don't feel it, is that bad?" I asked.
"Adrenalin rush." She says and I nod and looked around as the others came over.
"No… no blood in my mouth?" I asked.
"Nope, no blood in your mouth." She says and I nod as I look up a bit.
"Not, gonna die, can't heh, lucky bastards." I mutter.
"Yeah, you are a lucky bastard." I hear and nod.
"My friend… Louis he almost got shot in the head… he was lucky as fuck." I say and I feel something come up and I throw up a bit to the side.
"Hey nervous?" I hear and look to them and I shake my head.
"Nah just… how bad?" I asked and she took the bullet out and I chuckled.
"D-Damn thing didn't go through… holy shit." I laughed as did the others.
"One lucky bitch." I hear and they helped me up. I looked around and saw the damage and I saw a few of our own beating on one of the enemies. I go over to them and pulled them off as I looked to the enemy and they look up to us. Their hands up in surrender and I grabbed them by their uniform and take the bags off them. I take anything off them even the jackets and checked their pants. I find a letter and look to it then to the enemy as they looked to the letter. I opened it and read it. once I saw the first two words I stopped and looked to them as I fold it up and give it back to them.
"What the fuck-."
"Nothing important… just a letter for their kid." I say and we just looked to the enemy.
"Das Delta, das Delta hat uns dazu gezwungen, wir wollten keinen Krieg mehr." (The Delta, the Delta forced us to do this, we didn't want any more war.).
"The fuck they say?" One man asked. I never really cared to learn anyone's names.
"The Delta forced them; they didn't want any more war." I tell them.
"No shit, you speak this shit?" He asked and I looked to them.
"Translator, part of my job, though I don't know why..." I say and nod a bit as I realized something then looked to the enemy.
"Sagen Sie uns, wo sich der Rest Ihrer Gruppe befindet." (Tell us where the rest of your group is.). I say to them and they look to me and point to their jacket with shaky hands. I go up and grabbed the jacket and looked to find a map and I read it a bit. I hand the map to one of my members and I look to the side a bit and rubbed my face.
"What do we do with them?" I hear and look to the soldier.
"…Where is our radio?" I asked and we go over to it to see it only had little damage from the fight. I grabbed it and we put it to the side as I make a quick call. We kept the enemy with us for a while till someone finally came a few days later to grab them. The days became weeks, and weeks became months, and those months would make up a year, and then the process would continue until the next year. I was in our tent as I was writing another letter.
"What is it with you, you write letters but never got a single one, even when we stay in one place for even three months." John says and I look to him.
"It's been what, almost three years, and you haven't even taken a leave." Holly says and I look to her and I shrugged.
"Everette?" I hear and we all look up and I stand up. I go over to them and they hand me a letter and I look to it a bit and opened it up.
"Oooh a letter from the wife?" Laurance asked and I shoved him as I read the letter.
"What the fuck man?" He asked as I go and take a seat as I read the letter. It was from my mother telling me that she missed me, and that Clementine is being a little distant. That the Twins have been asking about me and they want me to come home. I see a flash and I look up to see one of those annoying journalists and I get up and grab the camera.
"Hey woah." They say as the put their hands up.
"Hey Everette it's fine." I hear and look to Holly and then to the journalist and shove the camera back at them and they grabbed it.
"No such thing as privacy?" I asked and they look to me.
"Sorry we were just told to take lots of photos." They say and I look to them.
"Don't take any of me." I tell them and they nod quickly and they run off.
"Oh, come on Everette, is it because of the scars?" Laurance asked as he put his hand over my shoulder and I shove him off.
"I don't want any pictures of me like this, used as propaganda and I don't want my kids to see it either." I tell him and he looked to me.
"They never seen pictures of you in uniform?" Holly asked.
"Only the good photos… There's one with my wife and I… we were asked to go to those military dances… I was blind at the time; it was after I had gotten back home and healed up a bit… even though I couldn't see I knew she was smiling at me." I say as I remember it.
"You don't talk much about your wife." Patrick says and I look to him and we were all just seated in the tent.
"Not much to talk about." I say.
"Well, we got time." He says and I shake my head.
"You got a photo of her?" Laurance asked.
"No… just my twins." I say and hold my arm a bit.
"I don't even think she's my wife anymore." I say quietly.
"Shit." I hear and shake my head.
"It's fine, my fault anyway… we get any new orders?" I asked.
"No but they think this war might be a long one." Holly says.
"They want us to stay here and for what?" I hear a random soldier ask and I look to them I shrugged and grabbed my canteen and took a drink.
"Not to be sitting dogs." I hear and I look to them.
"You get any new orders?" I asked them.
"Fuck no, they just told us to sit here and wait… fucking wait for what?" He asked and I think a bit.
"Where you guys from?" I asked.
"As in the states? Cause we're Americans." He man says.
"I mean where are you guys coming from… sorry." I say and they nod.
"Over in the south east side, just saw a bunch of soldiers heading that way, heard there was a bunch of those new frontier assholes running away." One of the guys laughed.
"Cause they saw Jimmy's ugly face." They laughed and so did Jimmy.
"You know why they actually were running away?" I asked.
"Yeah, we got some tanks heading that way, there is an air raid about to hit down there too, we overheard that on the radio." Jimmy says. I think a bit as I grabbed a piece of chocolate from my MRE and I take a bite of it. I look to the other tents as I eat the chocolate and I get up and head over to the makeshift post office we had.
"Need to send a letter?" They asked.
"Yeah, an envelope and a stamp… actually make it four envelopes and four stamps." I say and they nod as they hand me the stuff. I head back to the tent and begin writing again. I sent the letters out and I told my mother to not send any letters to me while I'm here. It would be another six months before they forced me to take leave. I was looking at my ticket and they were sending me back to Georgia. I shake my head as I looked to the train and got on. It would be hours before I get there and I was just to damn tired. When I finally get back to the state of Georgia and I go find a hotel to stay at until I can get another ticket to go to Texas.
"Vinny?" I hear and turn to see Clem and I gripped my bag a bit. I looked down to the ground a bit.
"I uh… they sent me here cause… address, just um-." I stopped as I feel her hug me and I kept looking down at the ground.
"You didn't get a hotel yet, have you?" She asked and I shake my head.
"Are you just on leave?" She asked and I nodded.
"Come on." She says and she tried to pull me but I stayed in place and I feel her looking at me.
"I'm… I'm just… gonna get a hotel and… head to Texas when I wake up." I tell her.
"Vi… look I… I was mad but… just come home." She says and I shake my head.
"Vinny just… talk to me." She says and I look to her. I look back down and I feel her place her hands on my shoulder and I lean my head onto her shoulder.
"I promise… I promised I wouldn't be back but they just… because of the address." I tell her.
"It's ok, it's ok you're allowed back home." She says and I shake my head a bit. I feel her place her hand to the back of my head and I take a breath. I just kept my head on her shoulder and I feel her rubbing the back of my head a bit and we stayed like this for a bit.
"At least come for the twins." She says and I look to her as I moved back a bit and I shake my head.
"They don't hate you if that's what you're worried about." She says and I shake my head again.
"Vinny." She says and I shake my head again.
"No, no just… no." I tell her.
"Hey, hey calm down it's ok, can we just talk?" She asked and I shook my head but I keep it by her neck. I feel her grab the bag and I look to her and she grabbed my hand gently and we walked over to her shop. I take a seat at one of the tables and look to Clem as she heads to the back and I look to the ground a bit.
I hear her coming back and I look up to see her coming over with something in her hands and se sets it on the table and it was a small cake and a glass of milk. She takes a seat and I look up to her as she looked to me then to the food and nods to it. I don't move to eat it. I look back to the ground and I rubbed the back of my head gently then I look to Clementine.
"I didn't mean what I said… I was just… mad." She tells me and I nod.
"Have you gotten my letters?" I asked and she nods.
"I have them, yes." She tells me and I nod.
"You said you… wanted them to think you didn't exist." She says and I nod.
"I mad you mad… I made them mad but Clem I just…" I stopped and I hear the chair move and she hugged me again.
"I know you said I told you time and time again but you have done enough, we all have." She says and I nod.
"Hmm… I still feel like I haven't done enough." I tell her quietly.
"I know you feel that way but you have." She whispers to me and I just nod and hugged her back gently.
"I'm sorry… I just… I did go with the intent of not going but… I don't know what came over me." I tell her honestly.
"I know, I know." She whispers and rubbed my back a bit. I moved a bit so I could hug her tighter and she held me to her.
"I got so mad at the fucking recruiter… fucker said I was lying that I was a nurse not a fucking… not out there… even when he saw the scars on my face… then he fucking-."
"You got mad at them because they didn't believe you." She says and I looked down a bit.
"And I wanted to prove them wrong." I mutter and I feel her nod.
"I… I should have known… but you always have been the type to prove people wrong." She says and we laughed a bit at this.
"… I shouldn't be there any longer, I mean to be fair I will have done the full twenty in the next eight years?" I asked and she shakes her head as I laughed and so did she.
"You idiot." She laughed and so did I. I look to her a bit and then looked to the cake.
"Wanna share?" I asked.
"No, I uh… I baked it fresh this morning, didn't now when you would be back." She tells me and I look to her a bit.
"Come on share it." I say and grabbed the fork and took a piece of cake and ate it then I handed her the fork. She nods and takes a piece of the cake and I smile as she ate it. I grabbed the milk and took a sip and looked to the window a bit and then to her as she had another piece on the for but she was holding it to me. I took the bite and smiled just a little at her.
"How have you been? You never really said in your letters." She says and I look to her.
"Honestly, I didn't think you'd read them so I didn't… I thought after the first one you'd… that you wouldn't read the others so… it didn't matter how I was." I tell her and then looked to the cake a bit.
"It doesn't matter how angry I get at you I always want to know how you are." She says and I nod at this.
"Yeah… sorry." I say quietly. She was able to get me to go to the house, she said the twins were with Lee and the others and I go put my bag in the room.
"Take a shower and get comfortable, you can lay on the bed." I hear and she handed me a towel and I look to it a bit.
"Um… ok yeah." I mutter and I go and take a shower. When I had finished my shower, I looked into the mirror and see the bags under my eyes. Those dark rings telling me I needed to sleep, that I haven't had any good sleep. Maybe that's why they sent me back, I just needed to sleep. I wiped at the foggy mirror to try and look at myself more and I take a breath. I look to the sink a bit and I take a breath. When done I go and lay down on the couch and Clem let me lay my head in her lap. She rubbed the side of my head a bit and I closed my eyes.
"I only have a week of leave… they uh… wanted to extend it but… since I was going back to Texas… I didn't want to stay long." I tell her quietly as we listened to the radio.
"I understand." She says and I move a bit to look at her.
"I… don't want to… if I'm gone… can you make sure I'm in Texas?" I asked her quietly.
"I thought-."
"I don't… I want you too… make sure I'm in Texas… no Arlington, no visiting me, no letting the girls know where I'm at." I tell her quietly. I feel her rubbing my head and I just looked to her stomach.
"I just want to be a bad memory that goes away." I whisper as I closed my eyes and fall asleep.