AN:

Hey everyone!
First of all: I needed to change my username due to safety stuff and changing my password did not help, so here we go...
I recently revised all chapters published so far and made some minor changes in wording and such. To catch up with the story, I'd advise you to read the other chapters again, bc there was an inconsistency which I fixed for later chapters, so I could extend the story.
We are a bit off-canon (intended), but I will stick to most events happening in the series regarding Chelsie (still don't own any characters).

But now I don't want to detain you from reading! If there are any questions just let me know in a review or dm!

xx
(former) HousekeeperatHeart
(now travellingonigiri)

New day, old thoughts

The morning had come rather sooner than later and there was much going on at the Abbey. The family was about to leave after early lunch to get to London in time. The whole morning was about carrying clothes, polishing shoes, packing luggage and getting everything organised. Despite the adventurous night Mrs. Hughes was in full swing and could manage easily. As a surprise to herself she felt recovered, as if she gained some more power from last night.

She kept herself up with that and the thought of a short nap after their lunch downstairs. When everybody from upstairs would have left the house only Mr. Carson, Mrs. Patmore, Daisy and a few of the maids and hall-boys remained there. Of course there was some work to do, but with the family gone for some time they could manage to finish it. The preparation for the bazar and especially their stay at Grantham House in London due to the ball were in full swing. Though Mrs. Hughes was not going to London then either, she needed to gather the most important information to inform Mrs. Bute, the housekeeper of the estate in London, in an advance.

"Anna, do you have got everything you need?", Mrs. Hughes asked as they passed each other in the hallway.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes. I just need to get this up to Lady Mary and that should be everything", Anna answered calmly carrying a hat box.

Still worrying about Anna, she wanted to reassure herself if she was alright.

"You really feel well enough to go?"

"I do. I think it will be nice to have a change of scenery." Anna smiled back to her.

"I hope you are alright, Mrs Hughes?" The smile on her face turned into a worried look. Anna had noticed the shadows under her eyes, she was exhausted and needed some rest.

Sensing the implication of her question she began to smile lightly and added: "Thank you, I am. Just didn't get much sleep last night – my headache kept me awake."

"I guess you will stay here then. I hope so, so you can try to recover."

"I will. I don't think they are in need of a housekeeper when there already is one. Besides, I am not to run two big houses, God help me", she said with false seriousness and Anna laughed at her expression.

They parted with a nod and Anna went upstairs to get the things finished for Lady Mary, while Mrs. Hughes checked on the list of orders that should arrive this afternoon. Only two hours left until they would leave… She should start to make sure the luggage was complete and prepared the second list for Anna and Thomas to check the orders that would arrive in London.

After waving goodbye to the family and Anna, Ms. Baxter, Mr. Bates and Mr. Molesley, the servants had lunch. It was strange to have such a quiet servants' hall. The vivid conversations were missing. There just were some whispered chats about business to be done and the sounds of cutlery hitting the plates. There was nothing to be mentioned, nothing to be discussed.

After lunch, the kitchen maids got back to the kitchen to clear everything up and to check on the ingredients and preparations for dinner. Mrs. Patmore figured out what they would need for the next few days because she did not have to cook more than half of the amount as usually.
The others went upstairs to tidy up the rooms and have a look at the furniture, what had to be repaired or needed a polishing.

As soon as they had finished Mr. Carson allowed them to take the afternoon off, it was just before 5 p.m., but they would have dinner earlier than usually, thus it was not necessary to take on new tasks for the remaining time. Mr. Carson needed to check on some paperwork and wine orders, while Mrs. Hughes had a look on the temporary list from Mrs. Patmore and some notes.

When she had finished her work, she really needed to have a nap now. She had enough time to rest a bit before dinner, so she decided to fetch a cup of tea to calm down a bit. She would settle in her armchair in her pantry and put the blanket and a little cushion on the side in case she would need it. As soon as she had got her tea, she took a nip and placed it on the table next to the chair.

She thought about reading a bit to get settled and comfortable. She took a book out of her shelf and sat down. Crossing her legs at her ankles she mimicked her position from the previous night. Before paying attention to her book, she was lost in thoughts about him again, thinking of how he tried to cheer her up last night, how he had hold her. With his strong arms. Caressing her back with his gentle hands... Shaking her head to get back to reality she sighed and turned to the first chapter, but after a few pages her eyes became to heavy to keep them open. She fell asleep with the book in her hands, her head leaned against the soft upholstery of the armchair, her breath light and even.

—

After quite a while he decided to leave the work for today. He had been in such a hurry with preparations the last days that he did not think of a minute to stop and just rest. Although it was not his common behaviour to leave the desk be and get himself some kind of free time, he really felt he needed it. He thought of what he could do in his room, maybe read a book again? It had been a while, but he wanted to check in on Mrs. Hughes first.

Before he left his desk he stroked the frame with his fingers. For a moment he closed his eyes and imagined her smile, her warmth in his arms from the early morning. He tried to picture her in his mind with her sincere, deep smile and projected it in the frame he was now holding with both of his hands. It had made him sad and it was still aching when he thought of her crying. She had not told him anything in detail, but he did care for her too much that he could have ignored it. Somehow, he had felt that he had to know about the reason for her upset, but he did not want to push on her. She would tell him somewhen, she needed time. Nevertheless, there was something about her that was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time… Was it about the guess of… feelings? It was not common, but it also was not common that a butler cared for a housekeeper that much.

He told himself not to imagine things and stop that thought which had been nibbling on him for quite a while now… that he fell – no, he was sure about it – that he was in love with her. Despite that, he tried to hide from himself, suppressed the feeling in his chest when he saw her smile or heard her chuckle. The woman he had loved once had decided to go with his friend, Grigg, and some years ago he had feared that he would lose her, the woman he loved, to Joe Burns.

But he did not. He had been so relieved when she had told him she would stay – and he was still glad she was there, around all the time. Smiling to himself that he was the lucky man to see her everyday he settled the frame on his desk again. He got up and opened his door with such a good mood that he almost ran over Mrs. Patmore.

"Mr. Carson, do keep your eyes open!" She almost shouted at him, but hold her voice back for a reason, carrying an empty cup and almost dropped it.

"I am sorry, Mrs. Patmore. I wasn't quite there." He looked after her when she turned in the doorframe of the kitchen.

"I noticed that." She shook her head and lowered her voice. "Well, do you want some tea?"

"Erm, no. But thank you for the offer", he replied with his deep voice, adjusting it to her level.

"Well then. I will prepare a cup for Mrs. Hughes, you wouldn't mind bringing it to her room, would you? I really need to prepare for dinner, it's already short before seven, otherwise we will be starving." She already vanished into the kitchen by the half of her last sentence and as soon as he could reply he was handed a cup with hot tea.

When he carried the cup to the housekeeper's pantry, he noticed the door was left ajar. He wondered about that, either her door was closed or open, but never ajar. When he knocked slightly there was no response from inside. He inhaled deeply, straightened his back and softly pulled the door open. He held his breath as he took in the scene.

She was asleep. Her hands were clasped and in between was the book she must have been reading. Her head was turned to the side, almost resting on her shoulder, her legs stretched out and still crossed at the ankles. The position could be quite uncomfortable for a longer time, causing neck pain.

He did not dare to move, yet to breathe and glad that they had not been too loud to wake her. Both of them had not gotten that much sleep and were exhausted from all the organising and managing, no wonder she took a nap. When he could focus again, he managed to tiptoe towards her and put the cup on the side table next to the chair. When he wanted to turn to leave, he noticed that the book was about to fall out of her hands with the next move. Thus, he took it from her lap, when he briefly touched her fingertips. A heat began to spread from his finger up to his shoulder, as if he had touched a hot oven, although her hands were cool.

He tried to steady himself and put a bookmark inside the novel and laid it down next to the cup. He searched for a blanket and a cushion and was glad to find both on the side. He spread out the blanket and covered her from shoulder to toe. When he took the pillow, he thought of how he would place it, realising he had to lift her head so it would not fall down immediately.

As gentle and careful as possible he moved his hand beneath her head, covering her cheek completely and lifted her head lightly. It felt so surreal to have the full weight of her head on his hand… but somehow it felt dear. A welcome warmth spread in his chest and his stomach began to clench even more than minutes ago when he had entered the room. Placing the pillow beneath her head and halfway on her shoulder, her head sunk more and more in his palm as if she intended to do so. The position the pillow was set in fitted perfectly and he laid her head down. Holding it for a second longer than needed he caressed her cheek with his thumb and could not hold back a smile. She was so beautiful and seemed to be relaxed according to her features.

Just out of the blue, as if he had never done anything else he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. It was not a proper kiss, he brushed his lips over her soft, pale skin, but he had touched it. The moment he realised what he had just done his face stiffened. Embarrassed about himself he frowned. What had come into his mind to do so? He did not have the right to do so, not even a bit. But at the same time, it felt familiar as if it was the most common thing in the world. He shook his head and cleared his throat silently. He swallowed but could not help a smile.

He steadied himself and got back in a standing position. When he looked down at her his sight was full of love and adoration for this woman in front of him. It was a peaceful, quiet moment he waited for before he turned and walked out of the room without a noise. He left with taking a minute glimpse over his shoulder and left the door ajar as there had been no one to disturb her. What he could not see was the blush and the light smile on her face. One could not tell if she had been dreaming or if she was only dozing and had been aware of the kind gesture.