I don't own Naruto or One Piece. I'm making my New Year's resolution right now to get rights to both of them and dammit if I fail...well I'll just curse for a minute before drinking my shame whiskey.
"Talk" Talking.
'Think' Thinking.
Gin...what can I say about him? He is as brutal and loyal as they come. I met him when he was floating in a lifeboat clinging to life by a fingernail. I don't know how he survived, no one did, but he was alive and kicking after we brought him onto our acquired ship where he awoke the next day...and on that same exact day we were attacked by Don Krieg.
Apparently Gin was the Combat Commander of his crew; The Krieg Pirates, and deserted them after a failed battle at the Baratie, which is some sort of floating restaurant if what he told me later is true. His reasoning is...insane, I'm sorry but he respected someone with the epithet "Foul-Play Krieg" and chose to throw his life away because he feared the guy. I don't understand why he never shot the guy in the face and took over, but then again it's ancient history now.
To make a long story short, we fought the remains of the Krieg Pirates after they got their asses handed to them by "Hawk Eyes" Mihawk. And later the Straw Hat Pirates. And...well you can see the trend here, we kicked their asses. But Krieg used his fear over the members of his crew to continue fighting even long after they were incapacitated. That honestly pissed me off more than anything else. But then Gin came alone and shouted at them all to stand down.
They did by falling unconscious with foam welling up in their mouths, he then smacked Krieg right in the kisser with these tonfas with cannon balls on the end of them. I still don't understand what he did to knock them out, but I am not complaining, at the very least the fight ended with no one dying.
After Gin gave his final orders to his crew, we took Don Krieg captive and locked him up in the brig...or more precisely a temporary brig since Kuro never took prisoners. We starved him for two days, shackled him tightly, and didn't give him anything to dull the pain...what? Don't judge me, he was by far one of the most vile humans I ever came across, if he had the chance he would have broken free and tried to strangle us in our sleep, so we debilitated him as much as possible.
We arrived in Loguetown two days later. Gin stayed behind to rest while Kotetsu went to something that got us in trouble later on, and Bashura went to get some medicine. I went to the Marine base on the island and turned both Gin and Arlong's head in and got a nifty thirty-one million beli for my troubles.
Things went to hell soon after, apparently something went on in the town square, a Marine named Smoker came after me like a bloodhound, and then I saw Dragon.
Yes I mean that Dragon the leader of the Revolutionary Army. He looked at me after stomping down Smoker like he was an insect, he sent fearful shivers up my spine. If you read this far into my journal, then you should know I do not scare easy, but this guy...he was something else. If I moved the wrong way, he would have ended me, I just knew it.
We spoke for less than a minute, but he alluded that we would talk again. That is something I am not even remotely looking forward to, especially after he called me "Sword of the Sea" for the first time. Apparently I was a wanted man and I didn't even know it yet. Just my luck am I right? Well after he departed I ran like the hounds of hell were nipping at my heels and made it back to the Bezan Black.
It was there I found that we had two women on the ship, some Marine woman named Tashigi that Kotetsu pissed off with his Magara personality, and "Five-Alarm" Carmen, a famous chef that got onto our ship by accident with a secret hatch that I still haven't been able to find! We ended up tossing Tashigi overboard into one of the life boats, Carmen stayed with us under her own violation until we got her to a place called Cook Island (Wherever the hell that is) and became our chef ever since.
I honestly can say I did not mind her joining us, her cooking is to die for. If I could choose between the cooks in the Royal Palace and Carmen I would choose Carmen any day of the week. She is that good of a chef. If it wasn't for her...well I think we would have either starved to death or developed food poisoning from trying to make anything ourselves.
"He is late, perhaps we should go and wake him." Carmen suggested after setting the last breakfast item on the table. Like always she cooked up what could be considered a feast for the crew, hash browns, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy along with a gigantic stack of waffles with butter and syrup for those who wanted it.
"Carmen, I think we should let the kid rest. After nearly dying in that desert, suffering through days of dehydration, and whatever the hell was going on with his gills, I think Naruto has the right to sleep in." Gin said before stabbing his fork through the giant stack of waffles and put five of them on his plate. "Besides, that means for food for us." He was then smacked by an irate Shizune. "Ow, woman!"
"Don't be so greedy Gin, you and I both know that there will be hardly anything left once he gets up." The doctor of their crew chided him.
"Oh come on, I woulda saved him something." The First Mate protested.
"When hell froze over." Kotetsu dryly replied.
"Ah screw you Blondie." Gin sourly replied before changing the subject before everyone ganged up on him. "Now tell us, what do you know about "Black" Jack Lee. He was a former Marine Captain wasn't he?"
"Well I can't say I am an expert on the man, but I heard about him when I was going through training." Kotetsu said, gaining the attention of everyone, even a sleepy-eyed Goldenweek who was trying to sneak some bacon from Bashura's plate. "John Lee as he was called was the wealthy son of an aristocrat, when the likes of Gold Roger and Whitebeard began appearing he joined the Marines to gain social standing and became a rising star."
"Huh, sounds like he would have made Vice-Admiral by now." Bashura commented with an interested glance in the swordsman's direction.
"Yes, but he had a cruel streak, and it was bad, bordering on monstrous both to his men and his enemies. He cut down men because they refused to fight, and tortured pirates all the way from Captains to the cabin boys."
"That sounds like that Absolute Justice some of these Marines preach." Gin said in disgust.
"This went beyond that, he even targeted civilians because he claimed there was a pirate in their town. A mountain of evidence was presented against him and he was stripped of his rank and booted out in disgrace." Kotetsu replied before taking a gulp of his orange juice. "They went so far as to try and arrest him, but he stole his ship The Ivory Web and became a pirate shortly after. He raided merchant ships, towns, cruise liners and attacked Marine forts leaving almost no one alive and stealing everything of value."
"So where did he hide it all? I mean it's not like he had a man o' war ship to keep it on." Shizune questioned.
"That I do not know, rumor was he hid it in some sort of undersea cave and went down near it all those decades ago." The sandy-haired teen said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Of course everyone and their mothers tried searching for it, the Marines, pirates, treasure hunters both professional and amateur, even those of noble blood. But no one returned, and I mean no one who went to search for it. By now it's one of those lost treasures like Captain John's."
The door to the kitchen then slammed open, putting a new hole in the wall. Gin was about to yell at Naruto, because it could only have been him to do so before he stopped dead in his tracks. Clutched in his right hand by the scruff of her purple robe was none other than Princess Vivi with her duck pecking his side rather irritably.
No one said a thing, after all how would you explain your shirtless Captain carrying royalty like an annoying house cat just strolling into the kitchen looking like he just woke up to anyone? It was definitely something that could be taken out of context.
Naruto then set Vivi in an empty chair, his chair to be precise before he finally spoke up. "Everyone we have a situation."
"Why are you here? Why are you here!?" Kotetsu exclaimed in disbelief.
"Cap'n...what is going on?" Bashura asked.
"Naruto why is the Princess of Alabasta doing in my kitchen?" Carmen demanded.
"Did you kidnap her?" Gin casually asked before getting beamed in the back of his head. "Ow! Dammit it was a valid question!" He growled at Shizune.
"Everyone...I think we should relax and hear them out." Hell must have frozen over if Goldenweek was the voice of reason. But apparently the little devils were freezing their tails off, because that was exactly what happened. "I won't get to eat in peace otherwise." There we go that was the Goldenweek they knew.
Loudly sighing, Naruto crossed his arms and looked at Vivi expectantly. It was far too early in the morning to deal with this bullshit. "Well, we're waiting Vivi."
Softly breathing through her nose Vivi steadied herself. She left her home for this, this was the crew that could help her realize her goals to keep her country safe. But they weren't the Straw Hats, she scarcely knew anyone on the crew with the exception of Naruto; and that was only from a few encounters. God she should have thought this through. "I was useless in Alabasta...the people I loved and adored were swept up in the chaos of Crocodile's schemes. I cannot allow this to happen again."
"Vivi what happened was just a fluke, a one in a million chance happening." Shizune calmly explained.
"It was also a one in a million chance of me getting help from two pirate crews." The blue-haired Princess deadpanned. "If something like it happens again I won't have two ultra string pirate crews to come to my rescue. I just can't...I just can't allow it to happen again."
"So why us?" Gin bluntly asked. There was just no pretty way in asking why she was compelled to to come to them of all people. "Ain't the rubber-boy and all those guys you traveled with your friends, I'm sure if you asked they would have happily taken you."
"More importantly, have you even thought about...you know any of this? I mean you're the Princess of a fricking nation. If the Marines catch you with us, Princess or not they'll send your ass to Impel Down." Kotetsu said, he was actually being serious for once. There was no sarcasm in his voice, or any lightheartedness. It was actually a little off putting.
"It's because they have their own path to follow, and I have mine." Vivi huffed out before she pulled at her purple traveling cloak. It completely covered her body, and from Naruto's angle he could see a hood that could cover her face. "And you don't think that I know this? I picked out this cloak to disguise myself. It covered everything except my eyes, I even got a strip of cloth to cover my nose and mouth in order to not be recognized."
"You think that's going to help?" Bashura curiously asked.
"That's your only question? Bashura we have a live Princess on our ship, a disguise should be the least of our worries!" Shizune exclaimed, it honestly looked like she aged ten years after Naruto barged into the kitchen and laid all this on their laps.
"So Naruto...what are you going to do about this?" Carmen finally asked. Goldenweek wasn't going to say anything, her priority was trying to get more bacon from Bashura's plate, so it fell to her to ask the obvious question. "It's your call."
"Damn the hierarchy of leadership." Naruto tiredly muttered before running his hands through his hair. "There is nothing we can do. We're half a day away from Alabasta, and it's still surrounded by Marine ships. We used up the rest of our luck there by not getting into a fight with a naval blockade. So we're going to run with this, Vivi welcome to the Nautilus pick a room that isn't already occupied, we'll deal with you later." The fishman then took a stack of sausage, plucked a few biscuits, and stole half the stack of waffles before retreating towards his room. "I'm going to get some more sleep, so all of you...show her around, be nice. And Carue if you barge into my room again to peck me, Carmen's going to cook up a giant duck for dinner tonight."
"Quack!"
Naruto then left the gawking crew in silence, it wasn't because of him just granting Vivi passage on their ship, it was more of his audacity to steal from the kitchen.
"So Vivi...orange juice or milk?" Carmen lightly asked their newest member.
(Later that Day)
"Goodness, how can you stand to live here?" Vivi asked in horror.
After a tense breakfast Carmen decided to give the young woman the tour of their ship. She showed her the kitchen and sweetly told her if she was hungry she would cook something up for her, the pink-haired chef then showed her the doctors office that was one of the most well cared for rooms after the kitchen, it was there Shizune gave her an examination.
It however got worse from there, they had to step over a puddle from the bathroom Gin broke weeks ago, she was then showed their "Radio room" which was just a busted closet that they kept their den den mushi's in. From there Vivi was shown the armory where Gin was cleaning every gun in there, cursing under his breath next to a bunch of black powder.
The ship groaned from the rocking movements of the waves, it smelled horrible in several places, there were some areas of the ship where electricity was nonexistent, she had an untold amounts of holes in the walls, she was patched up with tar and mismatched wood, they even saw water leaking in the cargo hold where Bashura quickly plugged it with his finger while Kotetsu got the tar. It also didn't help that Vivi feared that if she took her sandals off she would get a dozen splinters just by walking ten feet.
"I would say you get used to it, but that is a lie." Carmen replied in distaste. She wasn't the only one who hated the condition of their ship. "We're scraping enough money together to get her fixed, and we still need to find a reliable shipwright to keep her floating before we get her to a dry dock."
"How are you going to scrounge up all that money anyways?" Vivi curiously asked. Coming from a rich family she never needed to worry about financial wealth until she went undercover. The Ocean Sword Pirates seemed to be well off, but by how much she was unsure.
"We got a plan." Naruto's voice made both women nearly jump out of their skin. During their conversation they walked past his open bedroom, and the fishman himself stepped out of it wearing his navy blue Captain's coat for a moderate amount of decency. "Meeting on the deck in five minutes. We got a few things to go over." He ordered them before brushing past them and walking up the stairs.
A few minutes later, the entirety of the crew were on the mismatched deck, and Naruto himself was gesturing towards the ship, Vivi and Carue and Goldenweek. "All right, everyone as you might already know we have two new members of the crew, and our ship is barely floating above water. But first thing's first...Goldenweek, Vivi...Carue welcome to our crew. Now, we need roles for all of you."
"Roles?" Vivi asked.
"Yea, everyone this ship has a job or some sort of position on this ship. Shizune is the doctor, Carmen is the chef, Bashura is our navigator, and Gin is the First Mate." Naruto replied before gesturing towards everyone in the crew.
"Don't forget gunman." Gin added.
"The heak Uzumaki, I'm the swordsman of the crew. Why didn't you say that?" Kotetsu protested.
"Because I don't count swordsman as a position on the crew, that just seems lazy. And quite frankly I don't know what your position is." Naruto said.
"He is always up in that crows nest. He could be the watch man." Carmen piped up.
"Yea, lookout. That has a nice ring to it." Gin added in approval.
"I'm the swordsman dammit!"
"All in favor of watch man, raise your hand." Naruto asked. Everyone other than Kotetsu raised their hands, much to the sandy-haired blonde's protests. "All right, Kotetsu you're the lookout of the crew."
"Oh screw you guys!"
"And that leaves you three...hmm, guys any ideas?" The tiger shark fishman asked.
"Goldenweek is going to need to be more active, so I vote cabin girl." Gin suggested.
"Cabin girl? You really think Miss Sloth will be able to do it?" Kotetsu pointed over to Goldenweek who just gave him a dull stare. Did she even blink during the entire conversation?
"She better do it." Naruto replied before crossing his arms across his chest. "She may try to hide, but we will eventually find her. And she will work, this ship may be a floating disaster, but she is all we got, so she is going to need a lot of maintenance before she gets fixed up." He saw Goldenweek's eyes widen a fraction, was it fear she was feeling? Good this was not going to be pleasant. "Congratulations Goldenweek. You're the cabin girl."
"But...but I don't wanna be." The younger girl protested.
"Sorry sweetie." Shizune lightly patted her head. "It's better you than me. I'm afraid to touch parts of this ship." And she stitched up wounds and set broken bones. That honestly said something regarding her feelings about the ship.
Carmen only patted her back in sympathy, "If it makes you feel any better I'll make something to get you through the days you'll be busy."
"Tea?" Goldenweek asked.
"With only a moderate amount of sugar."
Gin only grunted before turning his sharp eyes towards Vivi and Carue, the both of them straightened up because up close Gin was a very scary man. "Now for you two...what can you exactly bring to the table?"
"Well...I did infiltrate an organization for two years." Vivi honestly said.
"And were given information by the second in command." Bashura said with a raised tattooed eyebrow. "You're not a spy."
"Can the duck swim?" Carmen helpfully asked.
"He's a duck, of course he can. I mean we need someone to dive into the water to rescue the dumb people who can't swim." Gin replied, lightly looking at both Bashura and Kotetsu.
"Hey...hey...hey! That is uncalled for Gin, I didn't choose to eat a devil fruit. It looked like a pineapple and I ate it." Kotetsu protested.
"I'm gonna sit on you for that." Bashura threatened the First Mate.
"Guys, back onto the subject. Carue will be the lifeguard...in a loose sense, but what about Vivi?" Naruto snapped his fingers to get them back on track. God it felt like he was talking to children at times with all this bickering.
"Well, um..." Well this was awkward, Vivi honestly was going for some sort of spymaster position, but she nearly bombed her mission to save her country. If it wasn't for Naruto and Luffy, Alabasta would have been under Crocodiles thumb. "I honestly don't know, all I got is my diplomatic knowledge and only some decent acrobatic skills."
That left the entire crew in an awkward silence, that was honestly was not a good sign for Vivi. She fully resigned to her fate in returning home to Alabasta with Carue with their tails between their legs. However Kotetsu spoke up. "Hey Uzumaki, Vivi's been groomed for leadership hasn't she?"
"She's royalty. Of course she has." Naruto replied.
"All right hear me out. Sometimes pirates have a Staff Officer position, in terms of piracy if something happens to you or Gin she would take over the ship. But that isn't all, a Staff Officer provides bi-directional flow of information between a commanding officer and subordinate military units, and serves the executive function to filter information needed by the commander or shunts unnecessary information." The swordsman said.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" The tiger shark fishman demanded.
"Basically, she was born here in the Grand Line. She knows more about this crap than all of us. I mean, you were born on Fishman Island, but are too dumb to know about stuff outside the island." Naruto scowled at him in response to that and honestly would cussed him out before Kotetsu opened his mouth again. "Gin...I have no idea where the hell you are from, Carmen...Shizune neither do I...and the same goes for you Goldenweek."
"Does this have a point?" Goldenweek dully asked.
"I'm from the West Blue." Shizune protested.
"East Blue." Carmen seconded.
"And since Bashura is from an island that is isolated, all that leaves is Vivi being the only one born on the Grand Line and actually knowing about the governments and islands and stuff like that. So since my information is completely out of date, and none of you know shit, Vivi is going to be the one to help keep us out of trouble." Kotetsu finished his monologue with a flourish of his hands. "So what say you, Staff Officer Vivi? It has a good ring to it."
Naruto was silent for the next minute, on one hand he wanted to kick Kotetsu's ass for calling him dumb, but at the same time he brought up a good point. This was the actual first time any of them had been on the Grand Line for a long period of time. Vivi was born here, she knew much more about this stuff than they did, and she had a good head on her shoulders. All right it was decided. "Staff Officer Vivi, I can get behind that. Welcome aboard."
Vivi's heart skipped a beat before she let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you...thank you. I honestly can't thank you enough. I won't let you down, I'll be the best addition of your crew I promise."
"Oh you're not going to be thanking us for this." Gin said before pulling out one of his revolvers before spinning it in his right hand. "Listen, Alabasta was one hell of a wake up call. A good lot of us got our asses kicked."
"I didn't get my butt kicked." Shizune piped up.
"You didn't fight like us, that is okay though. You're the doctor, you're not supposed to fight because if you do then that means we fucked up." Gin replied before holstering his gun. "However we're all going to change a whole lot. We need to train a lot, we need to become stronger."
"Oh no..." Bashura paled, Gin was getting that crazy look in his eyes again.
"What's going on?" Vivi looked a little worried, even Carue was trying to hide behind her.
"Gin's hellish training. Honey you're so screwed." Carmen sighed out, already she was feeling her bones breaking from it.
"Please none of you would survive Fishman Karate." Naruto scoffed out.
"You're joining us as well Captain."
"What?"
(Two Days Later)
"Come on, I've seen people with one arm do better than you ladies!" Gin barked out at his trainees.
"Screw off Gin...gah! This is a substitute for sadism and you know it!" Kotetsu hollered at the former Combat Commander. The sandy-haired blonde let out a pitiful shuddering breath as he pulled himself up with his shaking arms.
Currently the entire crew was on the mast doing pull ups. That's right, Gin ordered them all to climb up the ropes and grab onto the yard railings near the sails that were taken down for this exercise and had them do pull ups.
That was fifteen minutes ago, and only five of them remained up there, that was Gin himself, Kotetsu, Bashura, Naruto and surprisingly Vivi. The First Mate had his eyes on the blue-haired Princess, she was going to be the next one to fall, he just knew it.
"Gin...why are you doing this?" Bashura wheezed out. He was by far the tallest, heaviest, and most muscular out of the entire crew, but even he was beginning to lose the feeling in his arms. The cat man looked over to Vivi, her entire body was shaking like crazy, but she was still struggling on.
"To get you all stronger, I'll be damned if any of you die because you were too weak to defend yourselves...some more than others." Gin once again looked at their latest member, as if judging her.
Naruto took note of this, he was feeling the burn, but compared to his Fishman Karate exercises this was a good warm up. A very good warm up to get his blood pumping, and he was about to bark at the First Mate to knock it off. But Vivi; who took her position next to him let out a strangled gasp and pulled her smaller body upwards.
'It hurts so much.' Vivi thought to herself. Her arms were burning, almost everything was aching. She wanted to quit, just fall off the mast and let her body rest. But the images of her father pinned against the wall, Pell sacrificing himself, and Crocodile laughing at her despair drove her on. She stubbornly pulled herself up again, even though she felt herself losing more energy by the second. 'I have to keep going. I'm going to become stronger for my people...come on Vivi you still got more in you!'
As she pulled herself up Kotetsu lost consciousness and fell onto the deck. Granted he did set up something to give them all a soft landing, but he fell with a thud that made both Carmen and Shizune wince from the impact.
"Come on Viv...you can do this." Vivi repeated herself, Kotetsu was down, that meant she could endure more than him. She pulled herself up again with a gasping yell before her grip gave out, she struck her chin on the railing and proceeded to fall.
Naruto reacted first and let go of the railings. He caught her in his arms and hit the deck with a loud thump that literally shook the ship. "All right, training's over! Satisfied Gin?"
"Not even close...but I will agree, everyone take a break, we'll start again in six hours." Gin dropped onto the deck, with Bashura following right after, flipping in mid-air and landing on all fours like a cat. "Carmen we're going to need protein, can you cook that up?"
"Who do you think you're talking to?" Their pink-haired chef asked, she almost looked insulted too. During the exercises she work the fan on her back to get used to the weight, it was slow going but it was also needed. Turning on her heels she went into the kitchen. "I'll make you all feel better in no time."
Shizune instantly sprung to her feet and went to check out Vivi in Naruto's arms. "She's unconscious, but I think that's because she pushed herself too hard." She then dipped the younger woman's chin upwards and frowned, "I don't feel any real damage, she might had a horrible bruise later. I'm going to have her ice it when she comes to."
"Quack!" Carue waddled over and frantically looked over his owner.
"She'll be fine Carue, all she did was overdo it." Naruto replied before placing Vivi on the giant ducks back. "Take her to her room, Shizune will check up on her within the hour okay?"
"Quack!" Carue saluted before he waddled into the ship to put his owner to bed. He was lucky he was a giant duck and had no appendages to do those pull ups.
"I'm going to get some medical supplies." Shizune dryly said once she saw Kotetsu looking up into the sky with swirls in his eyes. "I think Kotetsu bumped his head, Bashura?"
"I'm on it." The navigator said before he carefully picked Kotetsu up in his arms. "Goldenweek, mind coming along?"
"Sure..." The youngest member of the crew dully replied before sluggishly following after them. "I need to start mopping the halls anyways."
"Poor girl, that bathroom is just going to continue leaking." Gin remarked after they all left.
"I honestly don't care. Gin what the hell was that about?" Naruto demanded, now that everyone was gone he was going to tear into his First Mate. "I don't mind the exercises, but you pushed Vivi to the breaking point."
"Listen Uzumaki and listen good. She is in desperate need of training, if she wants to protect her country then she needs to be able to kick more ass than she ever did before." The older man growled in response. "She has the drive, the burning desire to improve. I can see it in her eyes. But it is not going to come easy, nothing is, so I need to break her in order to improve her."
"Gin that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my live. Listen, I appreciate her desire to get stronger. But you can't just break her, she isn't a killing machine like you. I just want her to defend herself, even if none of us are around."
"And she will get stronger, each and every one of you is going to hate me for putting you through this." Gin was under no illusions that anyone was going to thank him for this, he expected all their hate, but they were not going to end up like Krieg's crew. He would be poisoned all over again before that happened. "But before we get our ship fixed, I promise you that they will see the improvement. And we will be a force to reckon with."
Running his hands over his face, Naruto shook his head before loudly sighing. "Just don't go too overboard. If they end up bedridden, it will be a whole lot of trouble."
"I can't promise that." Gin gruffly replied.
That meant in Gin speech 'I'll try.' That was good enough for Naruto.
(Jaya – Three Days Later)
"Land...for the love of God sweet land." Kotetsu panted before collapsing on the deck.
Gin's hellish training lasted for three more days. No one was excluded from it, not even Naruto. Gin worked them like dogs and drove them into the ground. They didn't have any access to wights on the ship other than cannon balls and grape shot, so the veteran pirate had to get creative in their training process.
His exercises included a lot of stamina training like running, swimming for those who could swim, and in a surprising twist; dancing for the girls. Carmen especially liked that, even Vivi showed to have some talent in it, but Shizune and Goldenweek were as graceful as a boulder falling into the sea. He made them all do that for three days, all while not neglecting their duties on the ship.
Naruto was actually impressed and glad the man took the position as First Mate. Gin was a unforgiving man when it came to training, but after three days he could see a spark of improvement in the people he was traveling with. Sure a good lot of them bitched and moaned, but in the end they were going to thank Gin for it. Even he got the benefit from those asinine exercises.
But now they were approaching land, it was an island called Jaya. From their position there was only one town that looked like a resort, it was real fancy-like, and there were a ton of ships anchored there with various Jolly Rogers.
"Vivi, Kotetsu!" Naruto barked at the both of them. "Tell me of that island. Why are there so many pirate ships docked there?"
"That's Jaya, Uzumaki." Kotetsu panted out. "It's a major base for pirates, it's not too much considering their bounties range between ten million and twenty million beli."
"No kingdom governs it, but it's ruled by the townspeople in Mock Town who are off limits. You can't spend money if the person who supplies the food and drink you need is dead right?" Vivi seconded, unlike Kotetsu she was in much better condition to talk.
"All right then, hopefully here we can get some stuff we'll need. Bashura, Carue, Goldenweek I want you to stay on the ship just in case some asshole tries to steal it. Beat them up, kill them if you must." Naruto ordered them.
"Aye, aye Cap'n." Bashura sounded off before morphing into his panther form. Goldenweek looked excited that she would stay behind and do nothing. Carue only blankly looked at him with a tilted head.
"The rest of you are to come with me, Gin and Vivi you're with me. Kotetsu, Carmen and Shizune you guys stay together."
"What exactly are we supposed to be doing here exactly?" Shizune asked.
"Resupply, we're running a little low on food." Carmen counted off one finger on her right hand. "Some medical supplies, and information I think regarding that treasure."
"Treasure? What treasure?" Vivi curiously asked.
"Long story short we got a map for a lost treasure, we need it for the ship, but we have no idea where it is exactly. There you're all caught up, now keep that robe on, I don't want people to see you as Princess Vivi." Gin replied before he checked himself over. Bazooka, four flintlock pistols, his revolvers, and tonfas. Yep he was ready to kick some ass if necessary.
"But what if you need to say my name?" Vivi said before she threw the traveling cloak over her body, pulling the hood up and covering her face from the nose downwards. With her Peacock Slashers on her waist she just looked like a shady assassin instead of a princess.
"We'll call you Kujaku, no one will question it." Naruto replied before gesturing towards the town. "Lets go, Bashura how long do we have until the log pose resets?"
"Four days Cap'n."
"Crap, well I want us to get our shit and get out. This place is not sitting well with me."
(Mock Town)
Naruto's gut feeling was right, from the sea Mock Town looked like a resort, but when they docked and weighed anchor they found that the entire town was filled to the brim with debauchery and many other horrible things. Men were drunk and singing in the streets at ten in the morning, they already witnessed a dozen fights with three people thrown from buildings, one of them was on fire.
Gin honestly couldn't stop himself from smirking. "Now this is my kind of place. So many places to drink, and people are always fighting for no good reason. Can we stay for more than four days?"
"Absolutely not Gin, this place smells like booze, vomit, piss, shit and blood. It offends my senses and I hope to banish it from my mind." Naruto sourly replied. This place reminded him too much of the Fishman District and it was really pissing him off.
"Ugh fine, but if someone messes with us permission to shoot him?"
"Permission granted."
"So Naruto..." Vivi scooted closer to the blonde fishman, more for her safety because most of these pirates were terrifying to look at. They smelled awful, and she did not like the way they were leering either. "Why did you decide to call me Kujaku? It just seems so random of all things."
"It's because most of your attacks are based off peacocks." Naruto replied, shooting a glare at some drunkard who stumbled in their way. He looked like some sort of wallet snatcher, well he certainly wasn't going to get anything from them today. "Plus it rolls off the tongue better, you know?"
"Kujaku...hmm you're right." Vivi replied, testing the name herself a dozen times and coming to enjoy it. "It's only for in public right?"
"Of course, your real name is going to be used on the ship. You can shed that cloak too, otherwise you'll sweat to death."
"And you did not tell me this five days ago why?"
"You didn't ask." Naruto shrugged in reply.
Huffing under her cloth mask Vivi was about to say something before a large, calloused hand settled on her shoulder. It belonged to a man who was old enough to be her father, but he stunk of booze and the lack of hygiene. His face was rough as leather, and half his teeth were missing. "Hey there baby...I haven't seen you around here before." He said, lightly swaying from his standing position.
Naruto reacted immediately by grasping the offending hand by the wrist and forced it from her shoulder. "Hands off asshole, Kujaku does not like to be touched."
"Arrgh!" The pirate tried to yank his hand away, but the blonde had a iron grip. "Piss off you little brat, don't you know who I am?! I got a eighteen million beli bounty!"
"Oh good." Gin took out one of his flintlock pistols, placed it at the pirate's temple and pulled the trigger. The body fell like a bag of bricks. "We need that type of money."
"Gah! God dammit Gin, warn me when you're gonna shoot someone!" Naruto complained, damn that gunshot was loud. "And you just cut away thirty percent of the bounty, now he's like twelve million beli with some change."
"That's more than what we had before." The former Krieg Pirate replied.
Vivi was honestly thankful for her mask, otherwise her mouth would have been open in shock. She had seen people die before, but it was something she never got used to. "Gin, you shot him in broad daylight!"
"Listen Kujaku, we saw some poor bastard get kicked out of a fourth story window and was on fire a few minutes ago. You see these people?" He gestured towards the pirates who were looking at them, but over half of them disregarded them before going on their marry way. "That is the amount of fucks they give around here. They're pirates, it's as you said, leave the locals alone, but no one gives a damn about pirate on pirate violence."
"Come on Gin, lets not traumatize her just yet. We still got the entire Grand Line to travel." Naruto crossed his arms in front of his chest in a patronizing gesture. "Leave the body, we can't take it with us, and Kotetsu will start bitching if we start keeping heads in the freezer again."
Vivi honestly did not know if he was joking or not, but Gin only growled in distaste, spat on the corpse and followed after the both of them. Neither of them realized they were being watched by someone with an ill intent on their minds.
"Ugh, it feels like something walked over my grave." Kotetsu suddenly shuddered, it felt like somebody ran an ice cube down the length of his spine.
"Yea, these sloppy joes will do that to you." Carmen said distastefully, holding the sloppy sandwich in her hand she glanced over at Shizune. "Why did we pay money to go here again?"
"I was in the mood for a sloppy joe all right." The doctor of the crew said before biting into her own sandwich. "Also I wanted us to sit down for an hour and talk. Kotetsu on a one to ten scale, how much to you believe in this story of "Black" Jack Lee?"
"Truthfully? It's a seven, but it's that high only because no one has come around bragging about finding it. Trust me, the Marines would be all over that." Kotetsu replied before taking a swing of his drink. "What brought this on?"
"I only ask because our ship is going to cost a lot to repair, and that is if she is repairable or not." Shizune replied before going into specifics. "Between all the holes she has, and all the other stuff Kuro neglected to do to keep her in shape, I'm just wondering if it's better to just buy a brand new ship."
"Here's the thing Shizune, no matter what happens it is going to cost a lot of money. We got eighty million beli, but to buy a new ship or repair the one we got is going to cost hundreds of millions. Right now we are looking at a price range between three-hundred million to six-hundred million beli depending on what needs to be done, and I am not even considering improvements and add ons that need to be done to the ship." Kotetsu replied. "I know this because I once saw the bill for a ship repair and I nearly had a heart attack."
Idly sipping on her iced tea, Carmen raised a delicate pink eyebrow. "So this treasure, how much do you think we can get from it?"
"Well if I were a betting man..." Kotetsu leaned inwards to keep any pirates from overhearing him. "If nothing has been touched since Gold Roger's time, we're looking at maybe seven-hundred million, perhaps more if we find the ships that went missing looking for it."
"Our ship is going to sink from that amount." Carmen deadpanned.
"Maybe, but you forget we also have a fishman who can more than likely keep it afloat. He won't be happy about it, but them's the breaks."
"Did Bashura even tell us where it was located?" Shizune questioned. "I feel like he did, but for the life of me I just cannot remember."
There was a dead silence between the three of them before they all hung their heads with metaphorical storm clouds handing over their heads. In their excitement they completely forgot to ask the navigator of their crew where it was located. For all they knew it could be on the other side of the world!
Hopefully Naruto was having better luck than them.
(Mock Town, Pub – A few hours later)
"Dammit Gin, quit shooting people!" Naruto ordered his First Mate.
"Hey! This joker accused me of cheating." Gin gestured towards the pirate clutching his shoulder. A smoking flintlock in hand he gestured towards the poker table that had a lot of dough stashed in the middle of it. "He pulled the gun first, I just shot first. And he better appreciate that I only wounded him instead of shooting him in the head!"
"I have a name you know!" The wounded pirate cried out.
"And no one cares." Gin gestured towards the remaining pirates at the table, all looking nonplussed from what just happened. "All right which one of you jerks was going to raise again?"
"Is it always like this? This town is horrible." Vivi turned away from the sight in disgust.
"You get used to it after a while." Said Terry the bartender. He was a rather round man, with tanned skin. His black hair was shaved on the top, but long in the back. He had a round nose with a large black mustache that covered his mouth. He wore a short sleeved white shirt that slightly covered the red tattoos with wavy and curled designs on both his upper arms, and an orange bandanna on his forehead. "I'll admit a good lot of these pirates are terrible people, but a few days ago I met this one pirate crew that seemed so...innocent."
"Hmm what do you mean by that?" Naruto tore himself away from Gin, figuring he had a few minutes to spare before his First Mate inflicted violence on some poor person once again. He took his mug of ale and finished downing it.
"They had dreams and proclaimed them with such vigor it stirred something in me that I thought I lost a long time ago. But "Bellamy the Hyena" laughed at them, calling their dreams foolish." Terry silently sighed. "He beat two of them up, they didn't even fight back."
"So they're dead?" Naruto bluntly asked.
"Oh no, they lived and left the bar with their tails between their legs. However it wasn't until later that night when Bellamy stole a bunch of treasure from Montblanc Cricket did the Captain of their crew call him out." Terry lightly chuckled before admitting. "I expected him to get smashed to pieces since Bellamy had a fifty-five million beli bounty and was considered "The Big-Time Rookie", but that kid beat him with one punch and returned all that treasure to Cricket."
"Huh those are some good guys." Naruto was honestly impressed, pirates who did the right thing, that was a good change of pace. Perhaps he and Luffy were not the only good ones on the sea. "Who was this Captain anyways?"
"Haha! You won't believe this, but it was "Straw Hat" Monkey D. Luffy. He's the proud Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates and has a one-hundred million bounty on his head." Terry said with a loud laugh before he felt a a large weight smack against his bar. "You okay kid?"
"Yea...I'm just not surprised." Naruto dully said from his position on the bar, he literally face planted on it.
Lightly giggling Vivi turned her attention towards the bartender. "Excuse me, but do you know where they went?"
"He said he was going to Sky Island, I don't know where or what that is. But if you wish to know you ought to ask Cricket. He's the island's number one diver, that man is always going under the ocean to find stuff."
That perked Naruto right up, a diver? That was something he needed. "Do you know where he lives?"
"He lives on the other side of the island, you honestly can't miss it."
Naruto paid the man what was owed for his drink before barking at Gin. "Hey Gin, wrap it up we need to get to the other side of the island pronto!"
"Oh come on Uzumaki I'm on a winning streak." Their gun-trotting member said. "I'll meet you on the ship after this."
"All right fine, but if I hear that you blew up a building I will personally kick your ass until the poison acts up again. Come on Kujaku, we got ourselves a meeting."
"Thank goodness, anything is better than here...no offense." Vivi apologized to the bartender. He lightly waved it off as if saying 'None taken' before they left the bar.
"Haha! Pay up suckers!" Gin happily exclaimed.
"Fuck you now I know you're cheating!"
Terry only sighed when another gunshot rang out in his bar, he was going to have to mop up a lot of blood later tonight.
"Oh my goodness, this is his home? He must be well off." Vivi gasped in amazement. By the time they reached Cricket's home it was quite dark outside, and in the fading light both her and Naruto came across an outline of a castle that served as Cricket's home.
"Vivi you might want to get your eyes checked, that's just plywood." When they got closer the both of them saw that half a house was attached to a cheap plywood cutout of a castle. That was honestly a big disappointment, because the both of them figured the man would be living better than this. "Huh, well that is something."
"Do you think he's home?"
"One way to find out." Naruto walked over to the door and began to pound on it. "Hello? Is anyone home?"
The blonde jumped back a bit when the door opened to reveal a muscular, middle aged man covered in bandaged with blonde hair, light sideburns and a large chestnut on his head. He was wearing dark-purple tracksuit-pants with a white stripe running along each leg, and a rope around his waist. In his mouth was a lit cigarette and on his left arm was a tattoo of a chestnut with the word "Maroon" written across it.
"What the hell do you want!?" The larger blonde man shouted.
"Montblanc Cricket?" Naruto dully asked.
"Who's asking?"
"I'm asking." Naruto replied. "I heard you're a diver. I want to hire you."
"Excuse me?" Cricket demanded.
"Yea, excuse me?" Vivi asked.
"May we come in, I honestly think this will benefit the both of us." The larger man looked at him suspiciously before he stepped to the side allowing both Vivi and Naruto to enter his humble abode. It wasn't much, a small living area with a table, kitchen and bedroom. But there was a lot of stuff on the walls, history books on bookshelves, old rifles on the walls, and other pieces of what looked like priceless artifacts were scattered around the place. "Did you retrieve all of this stuff?"
"After ten years I acquired a lot of stuff. But that's not what you're here for. Spill it kid." Cricket gruffly replied.
"All right, we got ourselves a map that leads to a underwater treasure. Problem is our ship has dick when it comes to diving and salvaging equipment. And we heard you were the best there is around here, so how about it?" Naruto bluntly said, he was not going to beat around the bush with this.
Cricket furrowed his brow and sat on the couch that was used as a bed. The kid had some balls to come to him directly regarding salvaging operations, he had to respect that since as the "Last Boss" of the Saruyama Alliance he and Masira and Shoujou had staked these parts as their own. No one salvaged without their permission. "What exactly are you looking for?"
"We are looking for the treasure of "Black" Jack Lee." Naruto evenly replied.
"Pass, no one knows where it is located. And those who do never returned." Cricket replied before lighting another cigarette.
"We have a map. It's genuine."
"Buzz off kid."
"I'll buzz you, you son of a-"
"Naruto, please stop. You can't solve your problems with violence." Vivi snapped at him, her voice was sharp and crisp, it threw him off enough to look at her strangely. She however turned towards an amused Cricket. "Mister Cricket, what my Captain is trying to say is that while risk is great, the reward is worth it. Our map is genuine, our navigator said so, and we are willing to compensate you for helping us. I'm offering twenty million beli up front with a twenty percent share of the treasure."
If Naruto was drinking something he would have spat it out in shock. Twenty million beli up front and a twenty percent share? What the hell was she thinking!? "Vi...I mean Kujaku what are you doing?" He demanded.
"I'm getting us what we need no matter the cost. If I don't do this our ship is going to sink in the middle of the night with us in it." Vivi calmly said. "Besides, we have the money."
"That is not the point, we need some wiggle room, dropping twenty large on the table is too much. And why are we going to have to share anything with this jerk?"
"Because he has the equipment we need." The Princess in disguise dully said, this was negotiating 101 for her. "The risks must be worth the pay. And I will not low ball him."
"Ha, kid you rubbed me the wrong way, but I like her." Cricket said before stubbing out his cigarette. "All right, here's the deal. I want a look at you map in person, and depending one here it is I will name my price, and I want thirty percent of the treasure."
"Oh you can go straight to-" Vivi grabbed his arms and shook her head, she didn't say a word, but her brown eyes were pleading with him. "Argh...we will negotiate this when the both of us aren't acting like jackasses. I'll get my crew to lift anchor and make our way here. Then we'll do business."
"Heh, I look forward to it kid." Cricket chirped.
"Who knows, with the right price you might just buy a decent house than the glorified tool shed you're currently living in."
"Get the hell out of my house."
(The Nautilus – Later that Evening)
After arriving back on the ship Naruto called for a meeting in the kitchen since it was the only place that was lit. Everyone had a small beverage or snack thanks to Carmen, and everyone was seated. But then Naruto told them of their situation.
"I don't like it Uzumaki." Gin sourly said. Everything was going great, he won a million beli in that poker game he bullied out of the other players with fear and intimidation. But learning that they had to pay out the ass to go after their treasure soured his happy mood real fast.
"Twenty million beli is a lot, and twenty or thirty percent...ouch." Kotetsu seconded. A glass of ice tea in his hands he slowly sipped it before continuing. "We might not even find the treasure on the first try."
"Plus a total stranger will be looking at the map, that's asking for trouble Cap'n." Bashura chimed in.
"But it might be a expense well worth paid." Carmen piped up. Looking at the giant fan that was resting in the corner she continued. "We might find so much more than we bargained for."
"But everything is an unknown right now. Bashura are you sure the location is correct?" Shizune asked.
"The map says that the place is roughly three-hundred miles west of Jaya. That is three days of travel from there and back again." The catman replied.
"It sounds tedious." Goldenweek droned out while munching on a cracker.
"Quack!"
"All right everyone settle down." Naruto ordered them. Lightly rubbing the front of his Captain's coat the blonde put his foot down. "Listen, it's not an ideal situation, but don't jump to conclusions. Cricket is coming here tomorrow morning to negotiate and look at the map. The sad thing is we need him, no one can breathe underwater like me, and we don't have salvaging equipment. Now Vivi here..." He gestured to their resident Princess who was wearing a green tank top and white shorts instead of her traveling disguise. "Is going to be the negotiator. Out of all of us she has the most experience with this sort of stuff."
"Quack!"
"Someone who can speak human..." Naruto glared at the giant duck for interrupting him. "So we are trusting her to make a good deal. Just keep in mind Vivi we only got eighty-one million beli to work with, and yes Gin that does include your earnings from today." He interrupted his First Mate before he opened his mouth. "Now any questions?"
"Ah, yea, question." Carmen raised her hand. "If we're going to get a major haul, what's to prevent us from sinking if we pack it all on the ship?"
"If the starts sinking I'll keep her afloat with my own body if I have to." Naruto replied. What did they think this was, amateur hour? The ocean was his domain after all.
"What about any danger, what can we expect?" Bashura curiously asked.
"Unknown at the time, but I think there will be sea creatures scouring the sea floor." Vivi honestly answered.
"I guess that leads to the major question, who is exactly going? I'm out." Kotetsu bluntly said. "If something happens underwater, I'm screwed. I know Uzumaki can probably save me, but between the deep pressure and lack of air...I rather stay behind on land or the ship."
"I don't wanna go either." Goldenweek dully said.
"We can discuss that tomorrow after the negotiations with Cricket. If you want to go, fine. But if you don't want to then I won't count it against you. Now lets get some sleep, we got an early day tomorrow." Naruto then dismissed his crew for the night to head off to bed to get some much needed sleep. He would need it to deal with this mounting headache of his regarding their ship.
(Outside of Jaya)
Resting on the outskirts of Jaya was a large ship resembling a fortress, equipped with various weapons and having a castle in place of a cabin. The figurehead was a rook chess piece with dual cannons. The bottom front sail had a simplified version of the crew's Jolly Roger that was a triangular cartoon-like depiction of the Captain's face with a cigar in his "mouth", wearing his trademark hat. There was a castle with three towers in the background with little flags atop each of the three towers. There are also two sets of three cannons each pointing forward on both sides of the cartoon-like face and fortifying the castle. The top sail has the name their Captain's name, "BEGE", on it.
And the man himself was sitting in the dining room with his followers eating in a fine dining setting like it was a five star restaurant. For a pirate he ate like a gentleman, he cut his big juicy steak into proper bite sized pieces and quietly chewed on them. A bit of juice escaped from the corner of his lip, which he instantly wiped away with a dining cloth.
He was relatively short with a stocky build and sported an oiled-up and slicked-back hairstyle befitting that of a crime don. His facial features had a very stern look to them further accentuated by his rather sharp but hooking beak-like nose. He also had five o' clock stubble on his upper lip. He wears a black-and-white pinstriped attire, complete with a green scarf around his neck, with the excess tucked inside the suit. On all his fingers were very expensive golden rings with precious stones mounted on them, his pirate Captain's coat was black with red and gold trimming and had a western style cowboy hat were hanging on a coat rack several feet away from him.
A polite knocking caused the man to stop mid-bite. "Enter."
A very large man politely opened the door and walked through it. He had spiky light purple hair on the sides of his head and beard, although the top of his head was bald. He wore a black vest with a white suit underneath it, with a large green cape over it. He had a large silver metal plate on his left shoulder going down his left side with his name and a symbol one of the members had tattooed on his forehead. His right forearm had a giant red, green, and yellow three-barreled machine gun attached to it, which has a chain on it.
"Captain Bege, a prime target has come up." The large man said.
The man, Capone "Gang" Bege looked at his subordinate with interest. "Who?"
"Sword of the Sea" Uzumaki Naruto, Gin "The Man-Demon", and "Blood-Soaked" Kotetsu. That's not all, I heard that they were looking for a lost treasure it could very well be the same one we're looking for." The large man replied.
"Gotty, you better not be messing with me. " Bege said, his black eyes narrowing at his subordinate.
"I swear on my life it is the truth." Gotta bowed his head in reply. "They are going to meet tomorrow to discuss terms."
"Were you seen?"
"No one in the crew saw me, but those who weren't...well no one is going to miss them."
"I see." Bege reached into his suit and pulled out a silver cigar holder. Cutting the end off the Captain of the crew lit the other end and inhaled it. "Gotty, go get Vito. Tonight the Fire Tank Pirates prepare to catch their biggest fish yet and make them an offer they can't refuse."
Omake: Refrigerator Problems
Kotetsu liked to pride himself in his swordsmanship, his speed, his hard-earned abilities, his resolve, his loyalty and his discipline. Unfortunately he was completely failing in the last category. Due to his devil fruit powers he consumed a lot of calories, so whenever he used them he had to eat. That devolved into him having late night snacks so it could build up in him overnight for when he had to burn it away whenever he had to tap into his powers again.
Using a headlamp he slowly made his way through the dark ship, being extra careful to not wake any members of his crew up, that was why he was only wearing a pair of black shorts as nightwear. Upon reaching the kitchen he flicked the switch, growled when the lights didn't come on, and began flicking it on and off a dozen times before any light came on.
"I cannot wait for for this ship to get the repairs she needs. I am not going to miss bumbling around in the darkness and flicking switches a million times." The sandy-haired teen grumbled out when his stomach growled angrily at him. "I know bud, give me a minute and we'll get something in you." Kotetsu then got himself four pieces of bread, and opened the refrigerator to pull out a few packages of salami, roast beef, ham, turkey, chicken and to his surprise some left over bacon from that morning. He then slathered it with mustard, lettuce, spinach and green peppers. This was a manwich, a heart attack on four layers of sandwich heaven.
"Ah what the hell, a little ice cream won't hurt a thing. Carmen did tell me to eat as much as I can." Kotetsu then opened the freezer and screamed bloody murder. "Ahhhh! God damn it Uzumaki!"
The first to arrive was Bashura in his half-panther form. The cat man had his honking tomahawk clutched in his right hand and a large knife in the other. "Crew mate Kotetsu? What is going on...oh that is just wrong. Why is that in the freezer?"
"What is everyone screaming about?" Carmen tiredly asked, walking into the kitchen wearing a pink night gown, the chef of the crew rubbed her eyes before they snapped open seeing the abomination in her freezer. "What the hell is that thing doing in here! Don't any of you idiots know I'm going to have to throw this stuff out due to contamination!?"
"Hey it wasn't me, I just found this thing while trying to make a sandwich." Noticing her leveling glare, Kotetsu defended himself. "Hey! You told me that if I need to eat, go and do it!"
"What in the damn hell is going on out here?" Naruto, dressing only in a pair of blue pajama pants demanded. "It's two in the God damn morning, some people are trying to sleep...oh...that's why."
"Cap'n, why is there a head in the freezer?" Bashura asked.
"I'm not sure but...wait I recognize this asshole." Deadpanning, Naruto turned towards the entrance. "Gin! Why is there a head in the freezer? Better yet did you go out and get it after I told you not to!?"
"Naruto...why is there a head in my God damn freezer?" Carmen hotly demanded, apparently messing with her food got her mighty pissy. Huh, who knew?
"Gin killed this guy earlier today when he laid a hand on Vivi, and claimed he had an eighteen million beli bounty." Naruto sourly replied, looking at the ugly mug in the freezer. "Bashura, where the hell is my First Mate?"
"Um...last I saw he left the ship an hour ago, I dunno why." The navigator said.
"And you didn't wake us up why?" Kotetsu demanded.
"This is Gin we're talking about." Bringing his large hand to his tattooed chin, Bashura began to rub it in thought. "But the big question is, why is he out so late at night?"
Meanwhile Gin was walking through the streets carrying a refrigerator he "found" on another pirate's ship. "Ah, this way no one can bitch about when I do a little bounty hunting on the side. I just hope no one finds the head until I hook this baby up."
Armageddon: Ho-ho-ho hello my fans, or at least those who still read from me. This is Uncle Armageddon here to wish you all a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate during this time of year, I'm not here to judge, I'm just bursting from the holiday spirit. Enjoy!