Chapter 5 - The Back-To-School-and-The-Grind Affair
It had been a very, very long Sunday. But somehow, some way, and with VERY little assistance from his new handler at CONTROL, Shinji managed to do it, even with breaks in-between.
For once in his life, he'd crammed. All to make up the amount of classwork he'd missed during his brief period of going AWOL.
And now...it was time to head back to school. Monday had come.
[Needle-drop: "Monday, Monday", the Mamas & the Papas, If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears (1966).]
After hitting the snooze button on his alarm clock, Shinji got out of bed, got into the bathroom to take a quick shower, returned to his bedroom to get dressed, and then went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the other inhabitants of the apartment. To make sure he fully got back into Misato's good graces, he was going to make quite the breakfast with what was currently in the pantry, making a note to himself to restock on his way back from school and NERV HQ. Sure enough, the scent of the breakfast in question awoke his guardian, as she, in her usual disheveled state, lumbered into the kitchen. She was quickly presented with a fresh cup of coffee by Shinji, and that magical first sip was enough to start revitalizing the NERV tactical ops director. Once she and Pen-Pen were set with their plates, the trio ate, Misato and Shinji making a bit of small talk in the process, with the former getting in some slight ribbing over her ward's Sunday study session from hell. Once everyone's dishes were empty of food, Misato urged Shinji to finish making his lunch and be on his way, if he wanted to make sure all those makeup assignments made it to their destination without a problem. Shinji did just that, putting together a good bento and then grabbing, in addition to his normal schoolbag, the backpack containing the classwork; from there, he got his shoes on and was soon out the door.
While he walked to school, Shinji took stock of his situation up till now, a part of him still in disbelief over the strange direction his life had taken. Not only was he piloting a gigantic mecha against rejects from an Ultraman or Super Sentai rerun (or a rerun of one of the many imitators that had come and gone over the decades), all at the behest of his cold and distant (as well as, having found out, cruel schemer of a) father-now he was going to also be spying on the same organization said father was in charge of. It was as if he'd found himself in one of the oddest light novels ever put out, something both the writer had pitched and the publisher had greenlit on the same basis of "Eh, what the hell-at least it's not yet another isekai story". Still, given the challenges that awaited him, Shinji knew he'd have to take things seriously if he ever wanted to make it out alive...And save the world too, right, he didn't forget...Anyway...his train of thought soon was directed to the fastly-approaching building that was Tokyo-3 Municipal Middle School. He stood there, contemplating its facade for a brief moment, before he (with a slightly-resigned sigh) walked up the steps and through the front doors.
He soon found himself at the door to classroom 2-A, and on entering, found his arrival greeted by the sight of many a surprised classmate. It was as if a lot of them didn't entirely buy the story Toji and Kensuke no doubt passed along that he was engaged in some lengthy NERV training, and genuinely thought he'd actually skipped town. (The only exception was, unsurprisingly, one Rei Ayanami, still with a few bandages on and leaning on her good hand as she sat at her desk, staring out the window.) Muted chatter began to erupt from most of the students, but he was soon approached by arguably the most important member of the class: the brunette, pigtail-wearing class representative, Hikari Horaki. A look of grave concern was on her face as she spoke.
"Ikari? Are you all right?" she asked. "You've been absent for almost two weeks! What happened?!"
Shinji had seen enough spy movies to know how important maintaining a cover story was, and since one of his 'extracurricular activities' was already public knowledge (thanks to a certain military-obsessed classmate, curse him!), he leaned into the alibi Misato had given Toji and Kensuke. "Good morning, Horaki. Sorry I worried you-it's just how Suzuhara and Aida got it from my guardian. After that last Angel battle, NERV basically put me through their version of 'boot camp' to get me in better fighting shape. I only just finished last Friday-but don't worry, I did all the work Suzuhara and Aida dropped off for me." He held up the now-open backpack filled to the brim with printouts for her to see.
Hikari did a surprised double-take from the backpack to Shinji, where she noticed the slight bags under his eyes. "I see..." she said as she took the proffered backpack. "*Well, that's one thing those two managed to do right...*" she half-muttered under her breath. Shinji gave her a questioning look on hearing this. "I know about their sneaking out of the shelter, and I heard about their little 'interrogation' by your security-I've already seen to it that they were further disciplined."
Shinji grew slightly worried on hearing her stern tone. "Wh-what'd you do to them?"
Hikari's frown grew a bit more pronounced. "Those two have been assigned cleaning duty for the entire month-no exceptions."
Shinji winced a bit at this. "Oof-with the mopping, and the scrubbing, and the dishpan hands at the end..." he said with a slight shake of his head.
"If they hadn't been so stupid, they wouldn't have to endure being up to their armpits in soap suds every day after school going forward," Hikari said. "Honestly, we've known each other since preschool and they still find new ways to make me worry about them."
Shinji offered a slight shrug. "Well, look at it this way-we're all at that awkward time in our lives right now, so..."
Hikari sighed before she started applying binder clips to different sets of printouts. "Next time NERV needs you for an extended period of training, could you please at least give a bit of notice beforehand?"
"Um...can do," Shinji said with a nod.
"Good," Hikari said with a small smile. "I'll make sure these are reviewed by the teacher. And don't worry, your desk is right where you left it."
Shinji offered her a bit of thanks and headed to the desk in question, where he immediately took his seat and opened his laptop up. A minute after, Toji and Kensuke walked in, both sporting uneasy looks the moment they noticed Shinji was present. They quietly, awkwardly headed to their own desks, trying their best to avoid Hikari's scrutiny out of equal parts fear and shame. Then, Toji lightly tapped Shinji's shoulder, getting his attention. When Shinji turned to face him, his eyes grew wide on seeing the jock and he nervously swallowed.
"Ikari-when you got a minute, can we talk?" Toji asked.
Shinji gave a nod 'yes', just as the teacher walked into the room and Hikari called for the class to "Rise! Bow! Sit!".
A few hours and one sleep-inducing lecture on the pre-and-post-Second Impact years later, when lunchtime rolled around, Shinji found himself on the school roof-for some reason, a popular place for students in many an anime to ponder life, think deep thoughts, and hash out their differences-with Toji and Kensuke. An awkward silence hung over them, as neither one made a move to speak up.
Kensuke, with a slight eyeroll, soon got fed up with the silence and nudged Toji forward. "Go on, just say it already!" he quietly urged.
Toji gave the otaku a brief annoyed glare before he faced Shinji with a slightly glum look. Then, to Shinji's slight astonishment, Toji bowed. "Ikari, I'm sorry for hitting you twice. Please, hit me back!"
Shinji went from at first astonished to utterly dumbfounded at the jock's statement. "...Wait, what?!"
"Please!" Toji implored. "You've gotta slug one on me-otherwise, my honor won't be satisfied!"
"*Sigh* Sorry about this," Kensuke started to say. "It's a bit embarrassing, but just indulge him-he really takes this sort of honor code seriously."
"...I am NOT gonna hit you!" Shinji replied, taken aback by Toji's insistence. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever been asked! If anything, I should've apologized to you about accidentally injuring your sister before! If I'd done better in the EVA, she wouldn't be taking up a hospital bed right now!"
"But I'm the one who hit you first!" Toji further insisted. "You giving me a punch will square things, I mean it!"
"...*Sigh* Look, truth is, I hate violence," Shinji stated. "If it'll make you feel better, how about instead of me hitting you, you just owe me one, okay? No one else gets hurt." He then held out his hand.
Toji, on giving it some thought, shook Shinji's hand. "All right, ya win. Call it in any time, I'll do you a solid."
"Fine with me," Shinji replied. "And really, I'm truly sorry my first sortie injured your sister. It was literally my first day on the job, I didn't have enough of an idea of what I was doing."
Toji and Kensuke grew very surprised on hearing this. "...Seriously?!" Toji asked.
Shinji nodded. "Hadn't even heard of an Evangelion or NERV or the Angels until then."
"And they just stuck you in the EVA like that?!" Kensuke asked, dumbstruck. "What the hell were they thinking?!"
"You know what they say-desperate times, desperate measures," Shinji replied with a shrug. "Ayanami wasn't in any condition to pilot, so they brought me in. And even then...well, the EVA did most of the work. I was actually out cold for the rest of the fight."
Toji and Kensuke's eyes widened further at his admission. "Whoa..." they both uttered.
"Anyway..." Shinji said, shifting gears in the conversation, "ever since I came here, it's mostly been getting settled and near-constant training sessions at NERV. I haven't really given myself the time to get to know the city better-or any other people here, for that matter. So...mind if we start over? I could use a friend or two."
Toji and Kensuke gave each other a brief look, before it was Kensuke's turn to extend a hand. "Deal," the otaku said as he and Shinji shook.
"Just one thing, though," Shinji started to say. "Please, for the love of Mike, don't bring up anything NERV or EVA. I'd really like to keep my work life separate from both my school and home life."
Kensuke felt his left eye twitch at this. "So, meaning-"
"Nothing about prog knives, Angels, plugsuits, the works," Shinji emphasized. "That's all I ask."
"Not even in vague terms?" Kensuke asked.
"Not even," Shinji said with a nod.
Kensuke's eye twitched slightly again, his mouth briefly imitating a fish's. "Uh...sure, sure, I can work with that," he said while crumpling a list of 'Questions on How to Join NERV as a Pilot' behind his back.
"Okay, now you're a real good guy in my book," Toji said with a chuckle. "He's been yammering on about NERV anything even before ya got here."
Kensuke pushed his glasses up slightly as a tiny gleam appeared in his eye. "Now then, there is something Toji and I wanted to ask you about..."
"What's that?" Shinji asked confusedly, noticing that Toji now had the same small grin Kensuke was sporting.
"Simply put..." Toji began to answer, "Why didn't you say anythin' about livin' with that total hottie?!"
"...Huh-wha?!" Shinji replied, a bit dumbstruck over his query about Misato.
"I mean, really, man," Kensuke chimed in, "when me and Toji dropped all those printouts off at your place, it was like running into an Angel! (Er, regular kind, of course.)"
"If she were an old baseball legend, she'd be Babe Ruth," Toji commented.
"If she were an American president, she'd be Babe-braham Lincoln," Kensuke added.
"All right already, I get it!" Shinji said. "I'm fifteen, not dead! And for crying out loud, she's my guardian! Besides, hate to break it to you, but aside from being A) 29 and B) totally out of your league, if you knew her like I do, you'd think differently!"
"Aw, c'mon-we can dream at least, right?" Toji offered with a shrug.
Shinji sighed, knowing it was going to be quite a conversation from there.
NERV HQ, later that afternoon...
Shinji walked through the hallways of NERV HQ until he found himself at the office of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, chief scientist of all of NERV, as well as chief physician for the EVA pilots. Stopping at the doorway, Shinji gave it a polite knock.
"Come in," came the voice of the disinterested-sounding doctor.
Shinji walked into the room, doing his best to maintain his usual nervous appearance, which wasn't that hard, given he was still intimidated by a lot of NERV. "G-good afternoon, Dr. Akagi."
Ritsuko looked up and showed a bit of brief surprise over who had just entered. "...So, Katsuragi wasn't kidding," she said.
"Um...yep. I'm back. For good. Heh-heh," Shinji replied, hand absent-mindedly rubbing the back of his head.
"...At least you didn't come crawling back," Ritsuko noted as she returned her attention to her clipboard.
"Uh...thanks?" an unsure Shinji said. "A-anyway, I was told to report to you for an exam before I started sync testing again."
"Correct," Ritsuko affirmed. "Let me just wrap up a couple of things here, and we'll head over to the examination room. Don't worry, I won't poke, probe, or prod...Much..."
Shinji didn't know whether she was joking, and honestly hoped she was. Wanting to shift topics a bit, he gave a brief glance around the office, taking note of several certain pieces of décor, before his gaze returned to Ritsuko. "Sooo...you're a cat person?"
"I am," Ritsuko replied, not looking up from her papers. "I've got one cat, Miko, at home. The other is actually here with us right now-her name's Kitty III."
It was then that Shinji looked to his left, where he was mildly surprised to find a black cat sitting in a little cat bed on top of a filing cabinet, looking at him the whole time. "How'd I not notice this right away?" he quietly asked with a brief look in our direction. He then moved to pet the cat. "Hi there," he said to the creature, "are you a good kitty? You look like a good kitty-"
Kitty III responded to Shinji...by letting out a growl that was exactly like a very large jungle cat's. (A panther's, if one were to think more on it.)
"YIPE!" Shinji let out as he jumped nearly a few feet in the air. He did a double-take from Kitty III to Ritsuko, before nervously pointing at the former. "How?! With the big-?! And the little-?! And the-"
"Yes, she's a pretty unusual cat. Makes a good 'sentry' for my office," Ritsuko said. "I've had her since I was in high school-worked a summer job house-sitting for an American who owned a summer home in Kyoto. What was his name...? Right, Munster, Edward Munster. Used to bring his family in the fall, and they usually brought with them some really strange pets. He knew I liked cats, so one year, when their cat unexpectedly had kittens, as partial thanks for all the work I'd done, they let me keep one of them. In gratitude, I named it in honor of Kitty III's grandmother, the original Kitty. Anyway, she only reacts like that in the presence of either strangers or those she doesn't like."
Shinji gave Kitty III a nervous glance. "W-well, I sure hope I'm not someone she doesn't like..."
"Give it time, she'll warm up to you," Ritsuko said as she got up from her desk. "Now then, if you'll follow me..."
Half an hour later, Shinji, rubbing his left arm gingerly, was ruminating a bit on the exam he'd just undergone at Dr. Akagi's hands. Much, my ass! he grumbled mentally. He was making his way to the bridge in order to better acquaint himself with the techs; since they were his (and Ayanami's) support, he figured he'd do well to find out who among them might make for good informants once his spy missions started coming in. Once he reached Central Dogma, he let himself in and approached the three senior bridge techs from behind.
"Uh...hello," he greeted.
The trio turned with a slight start, having been engrossed in the combination of work and shooting the breeze among themselves that they didn't hear Shinji enter.
"Shinji? What're you doing here?" the bespectacled Makoto Hyuga asked.
"Something we can help you with?" Maya Ibuki, computer whiz and avid devourer of romance novels, asked in turn.
"Oh, no, nothing, really..." Shinji replied. "I just wanted to stop by, see how you guys were, and maybe get to know you a bit more-I mean, we'll be working together going forward, so..."
"I get ya, no sweat," the long-haired Shigeru Aoba said. "And look, man, I don't fault ya for going AWOL for a bit-if I was in your shoes, I'd have done the same."
"W-well, I can guarantee, I won't be running away any time soon-I owe it to you guys," Shinji said. "I mean sure, me and Ayanami-well, from what I'll supposedly see of her-do all the fighting, but you're our backbone here. I want to make sure we've got a good working relationship."
"Much appreciated," Makoto said, "why don't we start with some proper introductions..."
Soon, Shinji was chatting a bit with the bridge trio, though not for too long, given they were still in the middle of their shift. Yet in that brief amount of time, Shinji gleaned bits of info about each of them, from Makoto's own otakudom, to Maya's reading habits, to Shigeru's being a musician. As Shinji turned to exit the bridge, Ibuki offered to show him around HQ a bit more, deciding to take one of her breaks to do so.
"You sure it'll be okay?" Shinji asked.
"Positive," Maya affirmed. "It won't take long anyway."
"All right then," Shinji said before facing Shigeru. "Oh yeah, before I forget-do you know any good music stores in the city, Lt. Aoba?"
A slightly-smug grin appeared on the tech's face as he reached into his pocket and pulled his wallet out. "Do I? Little dude, ask, and my 'rolodex' is at your disposal." He then opened his wallet and unfurled a multi-sleeve business card holder, each containing a card for either a store or a dealer he knew, surprising Shinji and the others-mainly, by just how many were in them, considering the holder stretched out to a length that reached the very edge of Makoto's station.
"Thanks..." a minutely-stunned Shinji said as he gave the length of business cards a once-over. "I'll hold you to it." With that, he and Maya left the bridge.
From there, Maya took Shinji all over as much of the accessible parts of HQ. Through her, he got both reacquainted with facilities such as the locker rooms, the commissary, medical wing, and the testing labs, while also being introduced to the recreation facilities (which included an Olympic-sized pool), the green spaces outside the HQ building, and the offices of the human resources division. It was while passing one door in particular that Shinji's curiosity tingled.
"Um, Lt. Ibuki-what's in this room?" he asked, pointing to the door.
Maya, on looking at said door, answered him immediately. "Oh, that? That's the merchandising team for our PR division."
Shinji's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Merchandising?"
"Of course! Follow me," Maya said as she and Shinji entered the suite. In addition to the offices and cubicles already present, there was also a small kiosk full of NERV or Evangelion-branded merchandise. "Merchandising-where the real money from the franchise is made. Take a look-we put the show's name on everything." She then began pointing out some of the different products on the kiosk. "Evangelion t-shirts! Evangelion bento boxes! Evangelion shaving razors (both men's and women's)! Evangelion, the gashapon series! Evangelion pillbox-style rocket launchers! (The kids love this one.) And last, but most certainly not least, Evangelion snap-together action figure model kits! (Produced in partnership with Bandai.) Right now, a mobile game's in development, and we're negotiating with Funko in America for a line of Evangelion Pops." Shinji stared at Maya as if she'd grown a second head. "Eh-heh, sorry-I used to work at the mall in high school, some things just never leave you. Anyway, PR figures that sooner or later, the existence of the Evangelions will be made fully public, so they wanted to get in on the ground floor for any possible merchandising revenue, in case we run into problems with our funding. (Personally, I think it's a bit wrong to profit off of saving the world.)"
"Y-yeah, I see where you're coming from," Shinji said. "And my fath-the Commander signed off on all this?"
Maya nodded. "He did-actually agreed with PR on their reasoning."
"*Clever bastard*..." Shinji muttered very quietly under his breath.
"What was that?" Maya asked.
"Nothing! Anyway, I'd better let you get back to your work, I need to be heading home anyway," Shinji said with a small wave. "I'll see you guys next time I'm in!" He then headed towards an elevator bank to take himself out of HQ. Misato was working late at this time, so Shinji was going to be on his own for the evening.
Once he was topside, when he was sure no one would pay him any mind, Shinji tapped on his watch, activating its communication functions (which he was able to intuit after fiddling around with it earlier in the day). "You get all that, 99?" he quietly asked.
"Loud and clear, 86," Kodama answered on the other line; the entire time he was at HQ, he'd had on the listening function of the earpiece she'd given him the day before. It was something of a recon mini-mission, to better test their lines of communication while he was underground in the Geofront, and they could safely consider it a success. "Now that all that's settled, rest up-you're going to be in for quite the 'orientation week' starting tomorrow."
"Right-er, or is it 'Roger'?" Shinji replied. "Should I start using 'Roger'? I mean-"
"Don't overthink it, 86," Kodama affirmed. "Over and out."
To be continued...
Featuring:
Hikari Horaki - Genesis Rodriguez
Toji Suzuhara - Joe Keery
Kensuke Aida - Griffin Newman
Ritsuko Akagi - Lake Bell
Makoto Hyuga - Randall Park
Maya Ibuki - Karen Fukuhara
Shigeru Aoba - Beck Bennett
**Author's Note(s)**
Boy, does life find ways to keep the words from coming to me...
The needle-drop for this chapter, 1966's "Monday Monday", was the only #1 hit for the Mamas & the Papas on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. It featured background instrumentation by members of the legendary group of session musicians known as the Wrecking Crew, and also won the Mamas & the Papas a Grammy in 1967 for Best Contemporary (R&R) Group Performance, Vocal Or Instrumental.
Toji and Kensuke's commentary on Misato is inspired by Wayne and Garth's conversation about Cassandra on the hood of the Mirthmobile in the first Wayne's World (1992).
The cat in Ritsuko's office is, indeed, a descendant of the very same 'extraordinary' cat owned by the titular family of The Munsters (1964-66). Kitty III will be a semi-recurring presence throughout this story, and won't be the only thing connected to 60s TV pets featured.
And, of course, Maya's little showcase to Shinji is a major takeoff on the merchandising scene from Mel Brooks' 1987 sci-fi parody Spaceballs, though some of those items are indeed available in real-life. (Those shaving razor ads with Gendo are, unfortunately, proof of same.)