I Am Katsuo Nishida

A rush of emotions, an influx of memories, an expulsion into my diaper. I'm lying in my crib, swaddled in a red blanket, and crying.

I'm crying because it hurts, my head that is. I just became aware that my head is even my head in the first place.

'Why is this happening to me? Why, why, why, why, why, WHY?! I don't understand who I am anymore!'

"WHO AM I?!" I shout, or at least I try to but all it comes out as is a louder shout buried underneath an ever-growing mountain of wails.

'THINK!' Something seems to shout in my head and for some reason it calms me. Not the voice in my head that was too deep to come from my tiny vocal cords, but the word itself.

'Think, just think.' The strange voice that I now know as my own says. 'Calm down and start from the beginning.'

Elijah Lewis looks up at the clock and sighs while tapping his pencil against his desk.

He's in math class, his last class of not only the day, but his junior year of high school. 'Just twenty minutes, twenty minutes and I can go home and hibernate for the summer.'

The sixteen-year-old has already finished all the work that he had the displeasure of doing during the last day of school, which means all he can do now is sit up straight and try not to fall asleep to the lullaby of pencil meeting paper.

As he is failing to do both those things, he can't help but think 'man, I wish something would happen.' Then, as if fate itself was displeased with his complaint, the kid in front of him stands up and without saying a word, shoots the girl in front of him in the back of her head.

'Huh, that's both cliche and ironic at the same time, he couldn't wait twenty more mi- WAIT WHAT?!'

The shooter then turns his handgun on the rest of the class as Elijah ducks behind his desk. How did he sneak the gun in the school or even more confusing, the class? Elijah would never get that question answered, and in the moment he didn't care.

'I just need to find an opening and sprint to the door, simple, right?' He spares a glance and sees the shooter killing and injuring everybody that even thinks of moving. He's shouting something but Elijah can't hear him over his own adrenaline.

'I can snatch his gun; the moment he has to reload I can grab him from behind and snatch his gun.' With this thought in mind Elijah waits, the moment the sounds of gunshots stop he gets up from behind his desk and after taking two steps he finds himself holding the murderer in a full nelson.

'Wait, I was supposed to grab the gun.' "One of you grab the gun! I can't hold himmph!"

It turns out that this isn't an action movie, and the school shooter isn't a mindless goon. He throws his head back and headbutts Elijah, once, twice, three times, until eventually Elijah just can't hold onto him any longer and lets him go. The surviving members of the class are too scared to even lift a finger to help, nobody even goes for the door.

'Shit! What now!? Well don't just stand there do somethi-!' Out of all the reckless decisions and mistakes Elijah has made in his life, the fatal one would end up being not paying attention. The shooter had paused to make demands, not to reload. Had Elijah done what he always tells everyone else to do and "Think things through," he wouldn't have a bullet in his right lung right now.

As Elijah falls to the ground, he sees the teacher and the surviving students on the other side of the classroom. 'I see, they used common sense and listened to the guy with the gun when he said to group up. I was the odd one out.'

Elijah hits the back of his head hard against the floor which leaves him dazed and confused as he tries to comprehend what just happened to him. Though even in his dazed state, he sees the shooter, whose name he just now remembered as Caleb, turn his gun on the others with a pissed off expression and begin shooting again.

Elijah's last words go something like: "nooo waaaaiii-." While his last thought is just one question. 'Why did it take him shooting me for me to remember his name? He's been sitting in front of me for a whole semester.'

The world then fades to black for Elijah, he dies guilty, confused, and sad. Having failed to save anyone, having caused the death of five other students, and the injury of three more.

Darkness, that's the first thing Elijah comprehends. The next thought that passes through his mind is that he is dead beyond a shadow of a doubt.

He isn't in some sort of coma, this isn't the five minutes before brain death, he's just… dead. He doesn't know how he knows he just sorta… does. All his five senses are gone, the only thing he has is his own thoughts, but despite this he's happy.

'Death wasn't the end, I'm still me.' He would do a happy dance if he had a body, but unfortunately, he finds himself lacking one of those. It's as he's pondering that the guilt hits him.

'How many people died because of me? How many people are in this void because I all but pulled the trigger to send them here? Why did I try to be a hero? I'm not some savior… I'm just a normal guy.'

After that his thoughts go silent, he'd be crying but he has no eyes. He would bang his head against a wall, but he has no head and there's no wall. He can feel sadness, but he has no way to let it out. So, he floats there in the void, thinking he'll have to deal with this until the end of time.

.

.

.

.

"Well, aren't you depressing?" After anywhere between an eternity and a second passes, a boyish voice cuts through what was supposed to be an eternal silence.

'Who's…. there?'

"Don't worry about who I am, dummy! Just wake up and hear what I have to say!"

'Was I asleep? Wait, this kid can hear me?'

"You're a bit slow on the uptake, aren't you? Also "kid" isn't what I'd call someone who's been alive longer than your soul has been in circulation!"

'What are you talking about?'

"Well, if you stop asking questions, I can explain your new opportunity instead of leaving you to rot in the abyss until your soul makes contact with another soul!"

'...'

"Good! Then prepare for a whole lot of exposition!" The boy…God… thing, clears his throat before talking in a much more serious manner.

"To put it simply, you are an eternal loser, or at least the core of you is. Without getting into how life is created, your soul's template has literally never succeeded, in any life. Across all the multiverses, across all the dimensions, the one constant is that you are a loser. There's just something about what makes you… you, that causes you to fail over and over again. Not even I know what that thing is, I've been stumped for like an eternity now!"

Elijah internally laughs, though said laugh is more self-depreciating than anything else, this hurts to hear but deep down, he already knew it.

"It's gotten so bad that my colleagues and I have even started to root for you. We're your biggest fans! Watching you fail in increasingly comedic fashion was fun at first but now it's become kinda sad. So, I'm here to make you an offer that I know you won't refuse."

…'Does he want me to ask him what that offer is?'

"Yes, I do!" He says cheerfully.

Elijah tries to roll his eyes, but he has none. 'What's the offer?'

"I'm glad you asked! I'm offering you the opportunity to make it to heaven unlike the other alternate versions of you floating around in here somewhere! If you accept my offer, I'll use my super cool divine powers to have your soul absorbed by a you that has a much stronger soul!"

'What?'

"Have you ever heard of Naruto? I know you have! It was your favorite anime as a kid! Your soul will be absorbed by the alternate you that currently resides in that world. It doesn't sound like a good deal but let me explain. In exchange for the current you temporarily ceasing to exist, the you of the Naruto World will receive all your memories, including the ones you have of watching Naruto while trying to perform the shadow clone jutsu when you were twelve!"

'But Naruto is just a story… and did you just say I'll cease to exist?

"Listen kid, Naruto may be "just a story" in your world, but it doesn't make it any less real. Even our lives are just a story in an alternate universe, also I said temporarily. If this alternate you becomes a winner instead of a loser like you, he'll make it to heaven! Then I, in all my infinite kindness, will use my powers to undo the absorption process and let you both live your afterlives happily ever after."

…'What's the catch?'

"Ah, you're smarter than I thought you were. The catch is that on the extremely high chance that alternate you fails, he'll be floating in the abyss much like you are now, and you'll have ceased to exist permanently!"

'So, I could float in here forever while maintaining my sense of self and waiting to touch another soul or whatever, or I can bet my entire existence on a small chance at heaven.'

"You got it! What do you say bud? Why not stake everything that you are and will be on turning this franchise around?!"

'What a cruel deal to make me of all people… fine, I accept. So, what are the requirements for being a winner anyways?'

"That's a secret! Just make sure you don't die for nothing again, ok?"

'Sounds reasonable, I guess. Why Naruto though?'

"Don't think too much about it! Now I'm about to send you off, I have time for one more question so make it count!"

…'Just who is God anyways?'

"Joe!"

'Who's J- OH YOU BAS-!' He's quickly interrupted.

"HA! You almost fell for it! Anyways, see ya! Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Don't tell anyone about the future or else I'll have to hurt you!"

Elijah doesn't say anything, he takes in that last drop of knowledge then gives himself over to the warmth that's encompassing his entire being.

My headache quickly begins to disappear and my crying stops. I wouldn't say everything makes sense but at least I feel more stable and not like my head is going to explode.

I survey my surroundings once again, I'm still swaddled in a blanket that isn't smelling too good at the moment and I'm still in a crib, what else? I can't make out any details in my room because it's too dark and one glance out the window that is above me on my right shows that it is nighttime. Moonlight shines through the window and partially illuminates my crib and by proxy, me. I want to get a good look at myself but I'm still figuring out how to move my body. I was born yesterday after all; I've never moved my own body before unless it was out of instinct.

As I struggle to free my right hand from the very comfortable blanket the door to my room swings open and the light turns on. The next thing I know, a man and a woman are standing over my crib, they look tired but not upset.

"He seems fine now, are you sure he was screaming a second ago or was it just your imagination?" Says the girl who I'm assuming is my mother as she plays with a strand of her… brown hair? My vision is weird for some reason, hopefully it's just because I was born yesterday. I also can't understand what my "mom" is saying, though Other Me's memories help me recognize the language she's speaking as Japanese.

"Yes Hikari, I'm sure. He was screaming bloody murder; any normal sleeper would have woken up three times over." The man gives my "mom" a look full of mirth with his brown eyes while a slight smile forms on his face.

"And what's that supposed to mean? Do you have a problem with the way I sleep?" She counters the mirthful look in my "dad's" brown eyes with a glare from her blue ones.

"Of course not, your snoring is like a sweet lullaby and your heavy sleeping is befitting a former Kunoichi." If you just paid attention to his tone, you could convince yourself he isn't being sarcastic. Unfortunately, the thing Hikari chooses to pay attention to is his widening smile.

She looks like she's about to say something at a volume that would hurt my small ears, but she stops at the last second.

"It's too late at night for this, let's just check if he needs a change then go to bed." She reaches down and undoes my swaddle with what I can only describe as a Herculean feat of dexterity.

"Suit yourself, I'm going to go check if Honoka woke up." He turns to leave but almost on cue a girl that can be no more than five walks through the door.

I turn my head towards the door and see her rubbing the sleep out of her blue eyes.

"Is bro, ok?" She asks innocently as she tilts her head at my pretty much confirmed dad cutely. What adds to the cuteness is that to me it sounded like "Nii, daijobu?"

'There's no way she's cuter than me though, I refuse to believe that.'

"Yeah, he's ok, he just needed a diaper change. Hey Kari, are you done over there?" He says as he picks up Honoka.

"Mmmmhm, just got done." She lifts me into her arms, and I look at her, dumbfounded.

'How did she manage to change me so quickly? I looked away for a second and now I suddenly feel clean and comfy! Moms are truly powerful!'

While she's holding me my dad comes into view along with Honoka.

"You see them, Katsuo? They're your dadah and sis sis."

'Dad and sister? Though the words sound off… is she baby talking to me?' Wait, was that my name? Not bad…'

"Hey there little man, I'm Daisuke Nishida, the coolest dad ever, and this is Honoka Nishida, the cutest sister ever."

He holds out Honoka who clumsily blows me a kiss as if she just learnt how to do it two weeks ago and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

'Daisuke Nishida and Honoka Nishida, those were names just now. So, my dad's name is Daisuke and my sister's name is Honoka.'

A yawn from Honoka breaks the few seconds of comfortable silence.

"I'm going to go put Honoka back to bed, you coming?"

"You go on ahead, I'm going to feed little Katsu first so that I know he won't wake us up again."

After that, my dad leaves along with my big sister and my mom begins to unbutton her shirt.

As she does this, I go over my situation one more time. I have memories of another life and a possible future, I'm the smartest baby alive, and I have a loving family. Though those aren't even the two most important things to me right now.

The Second most important is that breast milk tastes better than I expected. Though that's probably because I've never tasted anything else, so I have nothing else to compare it to.

'…Where was I, oh right.'

The most important thing is that I am not the other me, nor do I care about his deal. My body is my own, my life is my own, and my dream, when I get one, will also be my own.

I am myself,

I am Katsuo Nishida.

AN:

I guess I should start this off with telling you all about my inexperience. This isn't just my first fanfiction, it's the first story I've ever written. So inevitably, I'm going to make a lot of mistakes, in fact I expect that years down the line I'll see this story as complete garbage, but hey you have to start somewhere.

I know that there will be a lot of grammar mistakes, typos, and maybe even plot holes, and I know that there will be a lot of people that won't take kindly to those things. All I ask is that you go easy on me in the replies, constructive criticism is cool but please be nice about it. I'm sure you all know that the motivation of a new writer is fragile at best, the amount of dead fics on this site is proof enough if you don't. So, what I'm worried about is reading that one reply that immediately kills my motivation towards this story and ever writing again.

Aside from the "please don't hurt me I'm new and weak" stuff, know that I plan to get the word count up. This is just the prologue, so it's allowed to be short but for real chapters I'm aiming for at least 6k words of quality content. Chapter one will be out within twenty four hours of this chapter's release.