Carlton and Danny

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"You going to tell me what's going on with Nolan?" Carlton asked, tearing a piece off his third scone and popping it into his mouth.

Rolling his eyes, Danny wondered whether Carlton actually heard anything that Danny had said for the last forty minutes, or if he was too distracted by the barista. Danny got the appeal — he and Carlton shared similar taste in women and Sam checked all the boxes. She was petite but curvy in all the right places, with a cloud of brunette hair that she always pulled up in a messy bun, a quick smile, and a dry wit. Danny didn't get the big feather earrings, but overall a nice package. Best of all, Sam was giving off all kinds of come hither signs that happened only when Carlton was present, so could not possibly be aimed in Danny's direction. Unfortunately, Carlton was apparently almost as bad as Miller when it came to realizing that someone liked him and had missed no less than four obvious opportunities to snag Sam's phone number.

Deciding that he would give Carlton another chance to man up and ask the woman out already, Danny signaled for another refill on his coffee before answering Carlton's question. "He's getting laid. It usually puts people in a good mood. You should try it."

But Carlton wasn't paying any attention to Danny's unsubtle dig. Once again, Danny wondered if his friends were just idiots. How was it possible that Kara managed to pair up three people in one night, with only a minor hint for Tex, while Danny had now watched Carlton moon over Sam on no less than four occasions without an iota of progress, damn it? And, if possible, the Miller situation was even worse. The kid had been moping around for weeks, head over heels for Courtney but too scared to make a move. When Slattery dumped the fundraiser being thrown by Charlene Abbot on Danny and Sasha to coordinate, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to throw Miller together with Courtney. After all, how hard could it be? Put two people who clearly liked each other in the same space enough times and one of them had to eventually make a move, right? But multiple trips back and forth to the Abbot mansion had yielded nothing, and Danny was ready to throw in the towel on the entire plan.

Or, even worse, admit to his wife that he needed her help.

Sam smiled brightly at Danny as she refilled his cup, and Danny wondered if it was possible to be sick of coffee. "What brings you two in today?"

"We're working on a fundraiser," Danny replied, before gesturing to Carlton. "Carlton here is in charge of advertising. Right Burk?"

"What?" Carlton actually frowned. "I mean, yeah. For the ..."

"Military Orphan Society," Danny filled in smoothly. He knew that Carlton wasn't listening. "The Abbots are hosting dinner and dancing at their mansion near the Arch. Maybe we could hang some posters up here." Danny paused, giving Carlton an obvious opening — one that he didn't take. Suppressing an eyeroll, Danny decided that he was tired of waiting for Burk to take the hint. "You should come. The Navy will pick up your ticket. In exchange for free advertising, of course."

Sam's eyes flitted to Carlton, and Danny kicked him. Finally realizing that he was expected to say something, Carlton muttered. "Yeah, you should totally come. We'll definitely have coffee."

God, his friends were such idiots.

"Maybe," Sam was chewing on her lip, her eyes on Carlton. Then she pulled a notepad out of her pocket. "I'll give you my number, so you can send me the information. For the board, I mean."

Danny felt his stomach turn as Carlton's face transformed into one that Kara referred to as his baby girl face, and Danny resigned himself to whatever idiocy was about to occur. "If you need help finding the place, I'm happy to pick you up. Or I could bring the flyers to help you pin them up here."

Sam hesitated halfway through her number and Danny gave it fifty-fifty that Carlton ended up with a fake number and they would have a new — bad — barista the next time they came to this coffee shop. Danny winced as he realized how badly Kara would react to such an event. Worse, she would almost certainly blame Danny when really it was Carlton's fault.

As Sam disappeared, Danny sighed, shaking his head. "There are times when you are as bad as Miller."

Carlton's head snapped back from where he was watching Sam disappear back behind the counter, dropping his voice. "What the hell was that, asking her for her phone number? Did you forget that you're married?"

Danny raised an eyebrow. "I asked her to come to a public event. After you totally bungled the opportunity to do it yourself, I might add. That's definitely not asking her out and Kara would say that you should have gotten off your ass and asked the woman already."

But Carlton was still scowling. "And why are we going to a fundraiser at the Abbots anyway?"

Nope, not listening to a word.

"We," Danny began, emphasizing the word, "are going to the fundraiser as military representatives so that Miller can moon over Courtney Abbot and maybe have the balls to get her phone number."

Carlton suddenly started laughing. "This was Kara's idea, wasn't it? She's taking credit for pushing Alisha and Azima together and now she's trying to set up Miller."

Danny tried to decide whether it was lamer to admit that setting up Miller and Courtney was his idea, or to let Carlton think he was a pushover when it came to his wife.

But Carlton didn't wait for Danny to answer. "Lord, you should see your face. Just admit that you're afraid of your wife already. No shame in it. I've seen the hulls of past boyfriends once she's done with them."

Standing up, Danny shook his head at Carlton. "You so need to get laid."