Winter's Refuge

Chapter One Hundred Sixty-Eight

JED 'KID' CURRY

My back's mainly healed, but the insufferable heat of the prison dried my skin. When I fell onto the sharp rocks, I felt them cut me. One of those cuts was in a troublesome spot just where the knotted end of the cat o-nine tails had torn open my shoulder. It's never healed completely because I keep usin' my back for heavy work. Then Father slapped it just in the right place to open the cut more. Aiden gave me a special balm that Chrissy puts on most nights. But last night I was tryin' to sleep in a hot railcar and today we're in a hot hotel room in Yuma.

I'd been leanin' forward trying to read when I fell into a nightmare…and Paddy had seen my back bleedin'. I dug the salve out of my bag and threw it to Lom.

"Paddy, you might want to go downstairs to see if there's a copy of today's paper left," I told him, knowin' what my back looks like when I took off my shirt. He doesn't need to see it. He's seen enough today to give him nightmares.

"No, I'll stay," he said firmly. "Think I'm about to see another example of man's inhumanity to man." Sittin' on the bed, he asked, "Anyway I can help?"

Lom shook his head. "No, got it covered. I've done this before. Kid, let me help you take off your shirt. In this heat, that blood's going to make it stick to you."

I turned my back to Lom so Paddy wouldn't get a clear view, but he stood so he could see. "Jed, I did that, didn't I? I mean, broke it open when I hit you on the back earlier. Felt you flinch, but just thought you stumbled with your leg."

"Mostly did it when I fell on my back earlier," I answered.

After wipin' my back with a wet towel, Lom rubbed the balm on. It felt good. Father Patrick was quiet. In fact, he didn't say anything until we were in our own beds and the lamp out. "Jed, are you always in pain? I saw all the whip marks on your back. I never would have guessed."

"Aiden's done a good job of healin' me," I answered. This was not a conversation I wanted to have.

"How many times have you been shot?" he asked, in a quiet voice. "If you don't mind telling me."

I did mind so I didn't answer. I tried to think if I was goin' to. He's seen a lot today and I knew he saw the healed bullet wounds on my side and shoulder. "Never kept track of them exactly, fourteen, maybe more."

"I grew up in the East and not around guns. Never knew anyone who was shot before," he said.

I laughed. "Well, you know a lot of them now. Me, Lom, Heyes, and Frank, to start with."

"Saw a lot today. Think maybe this is prison is part of my calling," the priest said.

"Father, you gonna be one of those bleedin' hearts the warden don't tolerate?" I asked.

"No. Those prisoners all went through our legal system and are paying their penance for what they did. Think maybe hearing of the Lord's mercy and forgiveness might save some of their souls. That's what I was talking with Preacher about, being a warden chaplain. He told me no, that I wasn't hard enough. A chaplain in there had to have served time before he could understand and help anyone. And most don't want to be helped. Do you think he's right? I did think the Lord was calling me to do this today."

"Think Preacher's right, Father. Goodnight," I answered, thinkin' how I probably wouldn't have responded to his message when I was in prison. Had to go through a lot before I would be open to it. This conversation wasn't over. One day soon me and Heyes will sit down with him and talk about the realities of prison.

HEYES

"And just when can I see Rocky, Frank?" I asked him for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Frank hesitated. "He's still throwing up everything he drank yesterday. And I was kind of hoping Jed would be home when you talked to him."

"The Kid won't be home until sometime late tomorrow. I know Rocky must be scared. Let me talk to him. You both can be there," I said, trying not to sound like I was pleading.

Reaching up for the keys to the wooden door, Frank sighed and unlocked it. "Drag those two chairs from my desk in here."

There was one chair at the end of the hallway. And Frank was right, Rocky had his head over his chamber pot. He was trying to vomit but had what Gramma Curry called the dry heaves. I reached through the bars and rubbed his back. "Rocky, drink some water. It might come back up, but your body needs it."

He raised bloodshot eyes to look at me. I didn't know if they were bloodshot from drinking or crying. "Mr. Heyes, I'm sorry. I broke my probation, but I didn't steal nothin' from nobody. I swear to you I didn't."

I wanted to cry with this boy but knew if I was going to help him I couldn't. Just being in the narrow space between the two rows of cells was upsetting me. I tried to calm my heart from racing and concentrate on the boy. "Rocky, how do you know Norman Honmeyer?"

"He was a so-called pal of my pa's. But all he wanted was a buddy to drink with. Tried to cozy up to my ma after pa left. I punched him real hard on the jaw and he left. Never saw him again until yesterday at Phoenix. Wait a minute… he sayin' I stole something from him?" Rocky finished.

Colin looked at me then back to Rocky. "The charge of theft will probably be removed. But the parole violations stand."

"Rocky, why did you run away?" I said gently.

"Wasn't trying to run away. Just the letter…the letter it ruined everything, and I thought a drink helped my pa forget his troubles, maybe it would do the same for me. But it didn't. I didn't forget what she wrote." His last words were said through tears.

Colin demanded, "Tell me why you were walking out of Three Birds the opposite way of Phoenix!"

Rocky looked confused. "Was I? I was trying to walk home, but my head was spinnin' from the whiskey. And my thoughts were full of the whippings my pa used to give me."

"What letter is that, Rocky?" I asked. My heart was breaking, but I still didn't know how to help this boy.

"The one Chris Birde brought out to Phoenix with the mail," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out two crumbled pages of scented paper. "Even his paper is nice. I could never afford to give her anything like that." He sat on the edge of the cot, cradled his head in his hands and cried.

I showed Frank my bandana and asked, "Alright?"

He nodded. "Go ahead."

"Rocky, here," I said. He handed me the letter and I gave him the bandana and he immediately resumed his position on the cot.

"Don't read it out loud. Can't bear to hear it again. I dreamed of bringin' them to Phoenix when I finished my parole, but Dr. Oliver and Miss Nancy are makin' it real nice for them there. They have everything they want," Rocky broke down and cried.

"Rocky, why did you hit Deputy Preston," I asked.

Rocky looked up through those red eyes. "Who?"

Frank called out to the office. "Deputy, would you come in here, please." He stood in front of Rocky's cell. "This is Deputy Preston and that is the black eye you gave him."

"Oh. I did that? I'm sorry, sir, real sorry," Rocky apologized.

I slipped out. Sitting at Frank's desk, I tried to get as many of the folds out of the paper and then I read it.

"Dear Rocky,

I know you are learning to read so I'll use small words. We miss you every day. It is nice here. Dr. Oliver and Miss Nancy take good care of us. It feels like they are family. We each have our own bedroom. I go to Miss Emmaline's School of Deportment and Learning for Young Ladies. Don't worry about the big words there. It is a very nice girls' school. I am learning a lot.

Steven goes to a good school near our house. We do not have any chores to do, only our homework. Dr. Oliver takes us out to very nice places for dinner at least three times a week so Miss Nancy doesn't always have to cook. They are getting married soon and Steven and I think that is a good thing. They asked if they could adopt us when they are married but we said no. But we did agree to call them mother and father after they are wed.

Dr Oliver takes all of us on outings, like picnics or the theater every Saturday and we go to services on Sunday. He said that soon we can come visit you if Mr. Curry says it is alright.

Most of the girls at school are very rich and one of their brothers asked me to a church social, but I said no and went with my family instead.

Hope you are still doing well. Steven wants to see you shoe a horse. Take care of yourself and know we are very well taken care of.

All our love,

Stephanie and Steven"

I left the letter on the desk and went back in to talk to Rocky. I started to understand Rocky's despair when he read the letter. Stephanie said they missed him and told him about their life, but he knew he couldn't give them that kind of life. And the last line about being very well taken care of shattered all his dreams about bringing them to Phoenix to live. That's what he's been focused on, that's what he talks about and dreamed about. But he felt that dream die, and it left him with nothing.

"Rocky," I said as Colin and Frank went out to read the letter and I pulled up a chair next to the bars.

He looked miserable.

"You ever drink whiskey before?"

"No, saw what it did to pa. But he said it made him feel happy when he drank. He forgot all our troubles. Didn't forget mine. Just made me sick," he answered.

I had to smile at that. "Your sister didn't mean to upset you. She just wants you to know that they are okay…not like they were with Mr. and Mrs. Smith before," I reminded him of the foster father that had abused the young girl.

"Hadn't thought of that. But Dr. Oliver and Miss Nancy give them a real nice life. I could never do that…but I thought of bringin' them here a lot…and we'd be a family again. Now their family is with them."

"You know Mr. Apperson wants to send you back to prison for six months before you earn probation again," I told him.

He nodded. "It's what I deserve. Can't see why Mr. Curry would ever trust me again."

"You, more than a lot of others, know the despair he's faced. The Kid's a good man with a good heart; he'll take you back and trust you again. I'm trying to get Mr. Apperson to recommend less prison time. I think I can get him to agree to four months, maybe less. Think you can stick it out that long?" I asked.

Rocky was close to breaking. What his prison term couldn't do, his sister had done in one innocent letter. He wouldn't look at me. "I brought this on myself, Mr. Heyes. I'll work real hard to stay out of trouble there, but sometimes it can be hard. The gang my pa ran with were tryin' hard to recruit me in there," he reminded me.

And then I thought about Wooly Eyes Wolcott and Jaguar Cummings wanting to get back at me and the Kid. Would they try to take it out on Rocky? Would they know he was the Kid's apprentice?

"I remember. But Matt McWinters was your friend in there. He recommended you to the Kid."

"I had a good life here and was learnin' a trade and I messed it up. I'm sorry, Mr. Heyes. Tell Mr. Curry I'm sorry," Rocky said.

"Tell him yourself. He'll be here tomorrow evening."

ASJ*****ASJ

I'd been worried about telling the Kid and I was right to worry. I made sure Lom and Father Patrick stayed with him at Phoenix when they returned so they could be there for him. The Kid was furious at Rocky and at the world and didn't let me explain what happened.

"Where's Frank? Where's Colin," he demanded, walking around the room as quickly as his cane allowed.

Chrissy had been listening and I'd already told her what happened. "Jed, sit now and listen. No words from you," she scolded him.

And I told him what happened and Rocky's explanation and that he took full responsibility for what he done.

The Kid grew quiet for a few minutes. Lom and Father Patrick were starting to worry about him, if the darkness was growing inside him. But it wasn't that. It was guilt for not being here when Rocky got the letter. And I confessed to him I was feeling that same guilt.

"Jed, Heyes, you could not have known that this was going to happen," counseled Father Patrick.

"Oh, Paddy, I know that in my mind, but my heart tells me I should have been here," the Kid answered.

"Paddy?" I asked, looking at Father Patrick. Chrissy giggled.

"In private, like now, I'm just your friend Paddy Mahoney and proud of your friendship I am," Father answered.

Lom looked at me. "Heyes, I know you well enough to say you have a plan."

"Well, I proved to Frank and Colin that Rocky didn't steal any money or anything. They have the evidence and are sure the judge will clear that charge. But Rocky broke parole. Colin wants to send him back to prison for six months. Think I've got him down to four if he agrees to the shackles at night again. Colin's last parole check visit he lifted that codicil."

The Kid folded his hands and rested his forehead on them before standing up again. "Four months is a long time in prison. Rocky's still young and not tough. Is there anything else we can do?"

"I assured him you'll agree to take him back as an apprentice parolee…and that we're a family and will stand by him. It seems like so little," I said.

"Knowin' those things can make all the difference when you're locked up. When does he meet with the judge?" the Kid asked.

"A little over an hour. We need to get going. And Charles Kolmand is going to be his lawyer."

"Good man, Mr. Kolmand," the Kid said as we were going out the door.